Angela Patton: A father-daughter dance ... in prison | TED

Translator: Joseph Geni Reviewer: Morton Bast

Translator: Audrey Tantri Reviewer: Hafizh Alfarisi

Ketika aku duduk bersama gadis-gadis kampku,

Joy berkata, “Ah, kuharap dia tidak mengangguku terus.

Ayahku meneleponku setiap waktu.”

I was sitting with my girls,

“Kau beruntung karena ayahmu menelepon,” kata Jasmine.

and Joy said,

“Bertahun-tahun aku tak mendengar kabar dari ayahku.”

"Dang, I wish he'd get off my back.

Saat itu, aku tersadar bahwa para gadis ini memerlukan cara

My daddy, he calls me all the time."

untuk terhubung dengan ayah mereka.

"Lucky for you he calls at all," said Jasmine.

Di Camp Diva, organisasi nirlabaku,

"I haven't heard from my dad in years."

kami sering berbincang mengenai hal itu

At this moment, I knew the girls needed a way

sebagai cara untuk membantu gadis-gadis keturunan Afrika

to connect with their fathers.

mempersiapkan diri mereka menuju masa kedewasaan.

At Camp Diva, my non-profit organization,

Gadis-gadis ini hanya memerlukan

we have these types of conversations all the time

cara untuk menghadirkan ayah mereka ke dalam kehidupan mereka

as a way to help girls of African descent

prepare for their passage into womanhood.

dengan ketentuan mereka sendiri.

Jadi, kutanyai mereka,

“Bagaimana kita bisa membantu gadis lainnya

These girls just needed

meningkatkan hubungan baik dengan ayah mereka?”

a way to invite their fathers into their lives

on their own terms.

“Mari buat pesta dansa,” seru seorang gadis

So I asked the girls,

"How can we help other girls

dan gadis lain segera mendukungnya.

develop healthy relationships with their fathers?"

Mereka mulai membayangkan dekorasinya,

"Let's have a dance," one girl shouted,

undangan, gaun yang akan mereka pakai,

serta yang boleh dan tak boleh dikenakan ayah mereka.

and all the girls quickly backed her up.

(Tawa)

Rencana itu terealisasi begitu saja sebelum aku sempat berkata-kata.

They started dreaming about the decorations,

invitations, the dresses they were going to wear,

Meski aku bisa meminta mereka lebih santai, aku tak melakukannya.

and what their fathers could and could not wear. (Laughter)

Sebab, satu hal yang kupelajari

It was off and running before I could even blink my eyes,

setelah lebih dari sepuluh tahun bekerja dengan para gadis

adalah mereka sudah paham apa yang mereka perlukan.

but even if I could have slowed down those girls,

Kebijaksanaan itu ada dalam diri mereka.

I wouldn't have,

because one thing that I have learned

Selama mereka disediakan prasarana, bimbingan, dan sumber daya,

from over a decade of working with girls

is that they already know what they need.

mereka bisa membangun apa yang mereka perlukan,

The wisdom lives inside of them.

tidak hanya untuk bertahan hidup, tapi juga untuk berkembang.

As long as they have infrastructure,

Jadi, kami mengadakan pesta dansa

mentorship and resources,

they can build what they need,

dan banyak sekali gadis serta ayah yang datang.

not only to survive, but to thrive.

Mereka berpakaian elegan.

So we had a dance,

Mereka bersikap manis.

(Tawa)

and girls and their fathers came in multitudes.

Mereka bertingkah lucu.

Mereka sangat menikmati waktu bersama.

They were dressed to the nines.

Pesta dansa itu sangat sukses

They acted sweet.

(Laughter)

sehingga para gadis memutuskan untuk menjadikannya acara tahunan.

They acted silly.

Ketika musim berganti dan tiba saatnya merencanakan pesta dansa lagi,

They really enjoyed each other's company.

It was a huge success.

seorang gadis bernama Brianna menyampaikan masalahnya.

And the girls decided to make it an annual event.

Dia berkata,

“Ayahku tidak bisa datang ke pesta dansa.

So as the seasons changed,

Karenanya, aku sangat sedih.”

and it was time to plan the dance again,

one girl named Brianna spoke up,

“Kenapa?” tanya para gadis.

and she said,

“Karena dia di dalam penjara.” Dia berani mengakuinya.

"My dad can't come to the dance,

and this whole thing is making me sad."

“Apa dia tidak bisa keluar sehari saja?” tanya seorang gadis.

(Tawa)

"Why not?" the girls asked.

“Lalu datang sambil diborgol?

"Because he's in jail," she bravely admitted.

Itu lebih parah daripada ketidakhadirannya.”

"Well, can he just get out for a day?" one of the girls asked. (Laughter)

Saat itulah,

aku melihat kesempatan bagi para siswi untuk bangkit

"And come in shackles?

That's worse than not having him here at all."

dan jadi pahlawan bagi diri sendiri.

Lantas, aku bertanya, “Apa yang bisa kita lakukan?

At this moment, I saw an opportunity

Kita ingin tiap gadis berdansa, ’kan?”

for the girls to rise to the occasion

and to become their own heroes.

Mereka sementara berpikir, lalu seorang gadis menyarankan,

So I asked, "What do you think we should do about this?

“Bagaimana jika kita berdansa di penjara?”

We want every girl to experience the dance, right?"

Kebanyakan gadis meragukan kemungkinan tersebut.

So the girls thought for a moment,

Ada yang berkata, “Apa kau sudah gila?

and one girl suggested,

Siapa yang akan mengizinkan gadis kecil berbusana ....”

"Why don't we just take the dance in the jail?"

(Tawa)

Most of the girls doubted the possibility of that,

“masuk ke penjara dan berdansa dengan ayahnya yang memakai kostum Spongebob?”

and said, "Are you crazy?

Karena begitulah para gadis menyebutnya.

Who is going to allow a bunch of little girls,

(Tawa)

Aku berkata, “Baiklah, Gadis-gadis,

dressed up — " (Laughter)

" — to come inside a jail and dance with their daddies in Spongebob suits?"

kalian tidak akan tahu jika tidak bertanya.”

Jadi, kami mengirimkan surat kepada sheriff Kota Richmond,

Because that's what they called them.

I said, "Girls, well, well,

yang sudah ditandatangani oleh para gadis.

you never know unless you ask."

Harus kuakui, dia sheriff yang sangat istimewa.

So a letter was written to the Richmond City Sheriff,

Dia segera menghubungiku dan mengatakan

signed collectively by each girl,

kapan pun ada kesempatan bagi para keluarga untuk berkunjung,

and I would have to say, he is a very special sheriff.

pintunya selalu terbuka.

He contacted me immediately and said,

Sebab, satu hal yang dia sadari,

saat seorang ayah menjaga hubungan dengan anaknya,

whenever there is an opportunity to bring families inside,

kemungkinan dia dipenjara lagi sangat kecil.

his doors are always open.

Lantas,

Because one thing he did know,

16 tahanan dan 18 gadis diundang.

that when fathers are connected to their children,

it is less likely that they will return.

Para gadis mengenakan pakaian terbaiknya,

dan ayah mereka mengganti seragam tahanan kuning birunya

So,

16 inmates and 18 girls were invited.

ke kemeja dan dasi.

The girls were dressed in their Sunday best,

Mereka berpelukan.

and the fathers traded in their yellow and blue jumpsuits

Mereka berbagi masakan katering ayam dan ikan.

for shirts and ties.

Mereka tertawa bersama.

Sungguh indah.

They hugged.

They shared a full catered meal of chicken and fish.

Para ayah dan putrinya

bahkan mendapat kesempatan untuk terhubung secara fisik.

They laughed together.

It was beautiful.

Hal yang cukup lama tak mereka rasakan.

The fathers and daughters even experienced

Para ayah berada di suatu tempat yang memperbolehkan mereka

an opportunity to have a physical connection,

menyajikan makanan untuk putrinya

something that a lot of them didn't even have

serta mengajak anaknya berdiri dan menawarkannya untuk berdansa.

for a while.

Fathers were in a space where they were able to

Bahkan, para penjaga menangis.

make their daughter's plate,

Namun, setelah pesta dansa,

and pull out her chair and extend his hand for a dance.

kami semua sadar bahwa Ayah masih akan berada di penjara.

Even the guards cried.

Maka, kami perlu menciptakan sesuatu yang dapat terus mereka pegang.

But after the dance,

Jadi, kami membawa kamera Flip

we all realized that Dad still would be in jail.

dan mengajak tiap orang melihat kamera sambil saling mewawancarai

So we needed to create something

tentang pesan mereka, pikiran mereka.

that they could take with them.

Kamera itu digunakan sebagai penghubung.

So we brought in Flip cams,

Ketika mereka saling merindukan

and we had them look at the Flip cams

dan merasa berjauhan,

and just interview each other --

their messages, their thoughts.

mereka dapat terhubung lagi lewat foto ini.

This was going to be used as a touchstone

Aku tidak akan lupa saat seorang gadis melihat mata ayahnya

so when they started to miss each other

lewat kamera itu dan berkata,

and feel disconnected,

“Ayah, apa yang bisa Ayah lihat saat melihatku?”

they could reconnect through this image.

I'll never forget that one girl looked in her father's eyes

Karena ayah kita adalah cermin

with that camera and said,

yang kita refleksikan

"Daddy, when you look at me, what do you see?"

saat kita memutuskan lelaki mana yang layak untuk kita

dan bagaimana dia memandang kita seumur hidup kita.

Because our daddies are our mirrors

Aku tahu betul rasanya

that we reflect back on

when we decide about what type of man we deserve,

karena aku salah satu gadis yang beruntung.

Aku selalu punya

and how they see us for the rest of our lives.

I know that very well,

ayahku yang terus mendampingiku.

because I was one of the lucky girls.

I have had

Dia bahkan di sini sekarang.

(Tepuk tangan)

my father in my life always.

(Tepuk tangan)

Itulah mengapa aku merasa perlu memastikan para gadis ini

He's even here today.

(Applause)

terhubung dengan ayah mereka,

terutama mereka yang terpisah

And that is why it is extremely special

oleh kawat berduri dan jeruji besi.

for me to make sure that these girls

Kami baru saja menciptakan suatu cara

are connected to their fathers,

bagi gadis-gadis yang menyimpan pertanyaan berat dalam benaknya

especially those who are separated

because of barbed wires and metal doors.

untuk dapat menyampaikannya kepada ayah mereka

sekaligus memberikan ayah mereka kebebasan untuk menjawab.

We have just created a form

for girls who have heavy questions on their heart

Sebab, kita tahu

ketika para ayah meninggalkan anaknya, mereka berpikir,

to be in a position to ask their fathers those questions

“Bagaimana jadinya putriku saat kulepaskan dia kelak?”

and given the fathers the freedom to answer.

Because we know that the fathers

Meskipun seorang ayah dipenjara,

are even leaving with this one thought:

bukan berarti mereka harus diasingkan dari kehidupan putrinya.

What type of woman am I preparing to put in the world?

(Tepuk tangan)

Because a father is locked in

does not mean he should be locked out

(Tepuk tangan)

of his daughter's life.

(Applause)