The family I lost in North Korea. And the family I gained | Joseph Kim

Translator: Joseph Geni Reviewer: Morton Bast

Translator: Mária Pikulová Reviewer: Renáta Rudišinová

I was born and raised in North Korea.

Narodil som sa a vyrastal som v Severnej Kórei.

Although my family constantly struggled against poverty,

Aj keď sa moja rodina prebíjala chudobou,

I was always loved and cared for first,

vždy som bol na prvom mieste a bol som milovaný,

because I was the only son

pretože som mladší

and the youngest of two in the family.

a jediný syn v rodine.

But then the great famine began in 1994.

No v roku 1994 nastal hladomor.

I was four years old.

Mal som štyri roky.

My sister and I would go searching for firewood

Ja a moja sestra sme zháňali drevo na kúrenie,

starting at 5 in the morning

vychádzali sme o 5tej ráno

and come back after midnight.

a vracali sme sa po polnoci.

I would wander the streets searching for food,

Blúdil som medzi stromami a hľadal jedlo.

and I remember seeing a small child

Pamätám si, že som videl malé dieťa,

tied to a mother's back eating chips,

ako priviazané k chrbtu matky pojedalo zemiaky,

and wanting to steal them from him.

ktoré som mu chcel ukradnúť.

Hunger is humiliation. Hunger is hopelessness.

Hlad je ponižujúci. Hlad je beznádej.

For a hungry child, politics and freedom

Pre hladné dieťa je politika a sloboda

are not even thought of.

to posledné, na čo myslí.

On my ninth birthday, my parents

Na moje deviate narodeniny, mi rodičia

couldn't give me any food to eat.

nemohli poskytnúť žiadne jedlo.

But even as a child, I could feel the heaviness

No už ako dieťa som cítil ťažobu

in their hearts.

v ich srdciach.

Over a million North Koreans died of starvation in that time,

Viac ako milión Severo-kórejčanov zomrelo na následky hladu v tom období,

and in 2003, when I was 13 years old,

a v roku 2003, keď som mal 13 rokov,

my father became one of them.

môj otec umrel tiež.

I saw my father wither away and die.

Videl som, ako môj otec slabol a nakoniec zomrel.

In the same year, my mother disappeared one day,

V tom istom roku, jedného dňa zmizla aj moja matka,

and then my sister told me

a sestra mi neskôr povedala,

that she was going to China to earn money,

že sa chystala odísť do Číny zarobiť

but that she would return with money and food soon.

a že sa čoskoro vráti aj s jedlom aj s peniazmi.

Since we had never been separated,

Kedže sme sa ako rodina nikdy neoddelili

and I thought we would be together forever,

a myslel som si, že ostaneme spolu navždy,

I didn't even give her a hug when she left.

ani som ju na rozlúčku neobjal.

It was the biggest mistake I have ever made in my life.

Bola to najväčšia chyba môjho života.

But again, I didn't know

No nevedel som,

it was going to be a long goodbye.

že to bude rozlúčka na veľmi dlho.

I have not seen my mom or my sister since then.

Matku ani sestru som už odvtedy nevidel.

Suddenly, I became an orphan and homeless.

Zrazu bola zo mňa sirota a bezdomovec.

My daily life became very hard,

Môj každodenný život bol ťažký,

but very simple.

ale v podstate prostý.

My goal was to find a dusty piece of bread in the trash.

Mojim cieľom bolo nájsť zaprášený kúsok chleba v odpadkoch.

But that is no way to survive.

Len na tom sa však prežiť nedá.

I started to realize, begging would not be the solution.

Pochopil som, že žobranie riešením nebude.

So I started to steal from food carts in illegal markets.

A tak som začal kradnúť z nákupných vozíkov v ilegálnych obchodoch.

Sometimes, I found small jobs

Niekedy som našiel aj príležitostnú prácu

in exchange for food.

za výmenu za jedlo.

Once, I even spent two months in the winter

Raz som dokonca v zime dva mesiace

working in a coal mine,

pracoval v bani,

33 meters underground without any protection

33 metrov pod zemou bez akejkoľvek ochrany

for up to 16 hours a day.

niekedy aj 16 hodín denne.

I was not uncommon.

Nebol som v takej práci sám.

Many other orphans survived this way, or worse.

Veľa ďalších sirôt prežilo takýmto spôsobom, alebo aj horšie.

When I could not fall asleep from bitter cold

Keď som kvôli tuhej zime alebo bolesti od hladu

or hunger pains,

nemohol zaspať,

I hoped that, the next morning,

dúfal som, že nasledujúce ráno

my sister would come back to wake me up

ma zobudí sestra a prinesie mi

with my favorite food.

moje obľúbené jedlo.

That hope kept me alive.

Tá nádej ma držala pri živote.

I don't mean big, grand hope.

Nemyslím tým veľkú, ohromnú nádej,

I mean the kind of hope that made me believe

myslím tým nádej, ktorá mi pomohla uveriť,

that the next trash can had bread,

že v ďalších odpadkoch nájdem chlieb,

even though it usually didn't.

aj keď sa tak nikdy nestalo.

But if I didn't believe it, I wouldn't even try,

Ale keby som tomu neveril, asi by som to ani neskúšal,

and then I would die.

a to by ma zabilo.

Hope kept me alive.

Nádej ma držala nažive.

Every day, I told myself,

Každý deň som si hovoril,

no matter how hard things got,

nezáleží na tom, ako zle sa veci majú,

still I must live.

musím predsa žiť.

After three years of waiting for my sister's return,

Po troch rokoch márneho čakania na návrat mojej sestry,

I decided to go to China to look for her myself.

som sa rozhodol odísť do Číny a vyhľadať ju sám.

I realized

Zistil som,

I couldn't survive much longer this way.

že keby tak nespravím, asi by som to už dlho nevydržal.

I knew the journey would be risky,

Vedel som, že podstúpiť takú cestu bude riskantné,

but I would be risking my life either way.

ale riskoval by som svoj život tak či tak.

I could die of starvation like my father in North Korea,

Mohol som umrieť od hladu tak ako môj otec v Severnej Kórei

or at least I could try for a better life

alebo som sa mohol aspoň pokúsiť o lepší život a to tým,

by escaping to China.

že ujdem do Číny.

I had learned that many people tried to cross

Vedel som, že veľa ľudí sa snažilo prejsť

the border to China in the nighttime to avoid being seen.

hranice do Číny v noci, aby ich nikto nevidel.

North Korean border guards often shoot and kill people

Stráže v Severnej Kórei často zastrelia kohokoľvek,

trying to cross the border without permission.

kto sa pokúsi prekročiť hranice bez povolenia.

Chinese soldiers will catch

Vojaci v Číne zadržia

and send back North Koreans,

a pošlú ľudí späť do Severnej Kórei,

where they face severe punishment.

kde čelia niekoľkým trestom.

I decided to cross during the day,

Rozhodol som sa prekročiť hranicu počas dňa,

first because I was still a kid and scared of the dark,

po prvé preto, lebo som bol stále len dieťa a bál som sa tmy,

second because I knew I was already taking a risk,

a po druhé, vedel som, že už aj tak veľa riskujem,

and since not many people tried to cross during the day,

a kedže nie je veľa ľudí, ktorí sa pokúšajú prejsť cez deň,

I thought I might be able to cross

myslel som, že sa mi to podarí

without being seen by anyone.

bez toho, aby ma niekto videl.

I made it to China on February 15, 2006.

Dostal som sa do Číny 15 februára roku 2006.

I was 16 years old.

Mal som 16 rokov.

I thought things in China would be easier,

Myslel som si, že v Číne to bude jednoduchšie,

since there was more food.

kedže tam bolo viac jedla.

I thought more people would help me.

Dúfal som, že mi ľudia pomôžu.

But it was harder than living in North Korea,

Ale bolo to horšie ako v Severnej Kórei,

because I was not free.

pretože som nebol slobodný.

I was always worried about being caught

Vždy som žil v strachu, že ma chytia

and sent back.

a pošlú späť.

By a miracle, some months later,

O niekoľko mesiacov som sa ako zázrakom

I met someone who was running

stretol s človekom, ktorý viedol

an underground shelter for North Koreans,

podzemný kryt pre Severo-kórejčanov

and was allowed to live there

a dovolili mi, aby som tam býval

and eat regular meals for the first time in many years.

a jedol pravidelne po prvýkrát po niekoľkých rokoch.

Later that year, an activist helped me escape China

Neskôr, toho istého roku, mi aktivisti pomohli uniknúť z Číny

and go to the United States as a refugee.

do Spojených štátov ako utečencovi.

I went to America without knowing a word of English,

Odišiel som do Ameriky bez toho, aby som vedel jediné slovíčko po anglicky

yet my social worker told me that I had to go to high school.

a sociálny pracovník, ktorý ma mal na starosti mi povedal, že mám nastúpiť na strednú školu.

Even in North Korea, I was an F student.

Ešte v Severnej Kórei som mal na škole pätky.

(Laughter)

(smiech)

And I barely finished elementary school.

A horko-ťažko som dokončil základnú školu.

And I remember I fought in school more than once a day.

Pamätám si, že som sa na škole bil aj niekoľkokrát za deň.

Textbooks and the library were not my playground.

Knižnica a učebnice neboli nič pre mňa.

My father tried very hard to motivate me into studying,

Môj otec sa veľmi snažil, aby ma motivoval k učeniu,

but it didn't work.

ale márne.

At one point, my father gave up on me.

Nakoniec to so mnou vzdal.

He said, "You're not my son anymore."

Povedal, „Už nie si viac môj syn."

I was only 11 or 12, but it hurt me deeply.

Mal som len 11 alebo 12, ale veľmi ma to ranilo.

But nevertheless, my level of motivation

Napriek tomu sa mi latka motivácie nezdvihla

still didn't change before he died.

ani pred jeho smrťou.

So in America, it was kind of ridiculous

Takže v Amerike to bolo trochu komické,

that they said I should go to high school.

keď mi povedali, že mám ísť na strednú.

I didn't even go to middle school.

Veď som nešiel ani len na nadstavbu.

I decided to go, just because they told me to,

Rozhodol som sa, že pôjdem, lebo mi to povedali,

without trying much.

bez nejakých ambícií.

But one day, I came home and my foster mother

Ale jedného dňa som prišiel domov a moja pestúnska matka

had made chicken wings for dinner.

urobila na večeru kuracie krídelká.

And during dinner, I wanted to have one more wing,

Počas večere som si chcel pridať ešte jedno krídelko,

but I realized there were not enough for everyone,

ale uvedomil som si, že nebolo dosť pre všetkých,

so I decided against it.

tak som ho nechal tak.

When I looked down at my plate,

Keď som sa pozrel na svoj tanier,

I saw the last chicken wing, that my foster father had given me his.

uvidel som to posledné kuracie krídelko, môj pestúnsky otec mi dal svoje.

I was so happy.

Bol som taký šťastný.

I looked at him sitting next to me.

Pozrel som sa naň, sedel vedľa,

He just looked back at me very warmly,

len jemným pohľadom sa na mňa pozrel späť,

but said no words.

no nepovedal ani slovo.

Suddenly I remembered my biological father.

Zrazu som si spomenul na môjho skutočného otca.

My foster father's small act of love

Malý náznak lásky od pestúnskeho otca

reminded me of my father,

mi pripomenul toho môjho skutočného,

who would love to share his food with me

ktorý by sa veľmi rád podelil o svoje jedlo so mnou,

when he was hungry, even if he was starving.

aj keby bol hladný, aj keby bol úplne vyhladovaný.

I felt so suffocated that I had so much food in America,

Cítil som sa tak pridusene, že som mal toľko jedla v Amerike

yet my father died of starvation.

a môj otec pritom umrel od hladu.

My only wish that night was to cook a meal for him,

V tú noc som si želal, aby som mu mohol niečo navariť,

and that night I also thought of what else I could do

a tiež som myslel na to, čo by som ešte mohol urobiť

to honor him.

na jeho poctu.

And my answer was to promise to myself

Odpoveďou bol sľub, ktorý som si dal sám sebe.

that I would study hard and get the best education

Sľub, že budem usilovne študovať a v Amerike dosiahnem to najlepšie vzdelanie

in America to honor his sacrifice.

na počesť jeho obety.

I took school seriously,

Zobral som školu vážne,

and for the first time ever in my life,

a vôbec po prvýkrát v živote,

I received an academic award for excellence,

som dosiahol školské vyznamenanie za vynikajúce výsledky

and made dean's list from the first semester in high school.

a dostal sa tak na dekanský zoznam úspešných za prvý polrok.

(Applause)

(potlesk)

That chicken wing changed my life.

Kuracie krídelko mi zmenilo život.

(Laughter)

(smiech)

Hope is personal. Hope is something

Nádej je niečo osobné. Nádej je niečo,

that no one can give to you.

čo ti nikto nedá.

You have to choose to believe in hope.

Ty si musíš vybrať, že v nádej chceš veriť.

You have to make it yourself.

Musíš to urobiť len ty sám.

In North Korea, I made it myself.

Ja som to dokázal v Severnej Kórei.

Hope brought me to America.

Nádej ma doviedla do Ameriky.

But in America, I didn't know what to do,

Ale nevedel som, čo v Amerike robiť,

because I had this overwhelming freedom.

pretože som mal túto úplnú slobodu.

My foster father at that dinner gave me a direction,

Môj pestúnsky otec mi počas večere dal smer,

and he motivated me and gave me a purpose

motivoval ma a dal mi dôvod,

to live in America.

prečo žiť v Amerike.

I did not come here by myself.

Neprišiel som sem sám.

I had hope, but hope by itself is not enough.

Mal som nádej, ale tá sama o sebe nestačí.

Many people helped me along the way to get here.

Veľa ľudí mi na ceste sem pomohlo.

North Koreans are fighting hard to survive.

Severo-kórejci bojujú ťažko o prežitie.

They have to force themselves to survive,

Aby prežili, musia sa tvrdo snažiť,

have hope to survive,

musia mať nádej na prežitie,

but they cannot make it without help.

ale bez pomoci to nezvládnu.

This is my message to you.

Toto je môj odkaz pre vás.

Have hope for yourself,

Majte nádej pre seba samých,

but also help each other.

ale pomáhajte si navzájom.

Life can be hard for everyone, wherever you live.

Život môže byť ťažký bez ohľadu na to, kde žijete.

My foster father didn't intend to change my life.

Môj pestúnsky otec sa nesnažil zmeniť môj život.

In the same way, you may also change someone's life

Tak isto aj vy, malým činom lásky, môžte zmeniť život

with even the smallest act of love.

niekoho iného.

A piece of bread can satisfy your hunger,

Kúsok chleba vám môže zahnať hlad

and having the hope will bring you bread

a pokiaľ budete mať nádej ten kúsok chleba

to keep you alive.

vás pridrží pri živote.

But I confidently believe that

Som presvedčený, že

your act of love and caring

váš čin lásky a starostlivosti

can also save another Joseph's life

môže zachrániť život iného Josepha

and change thousands of other Josephs

a zmeniť život tisícke ďalších Josephov,

who are still having hope to survive.

ktorí majú stále nádej na prežitie.

Thank you.

Ďakujem.

(Applause)

(potlesk)

Adrian Hong: Joseph, thank you for sharing

Adrian Hong: Joseph,dakujem, že ste sa s nami podelili

that very personal and special story with us.

o taký jedinečný a osobný príbeh.

I know you haven't seen your sister for, you said,

Viem, že ste nevideli svoju sestru, už ako ste povedali,

it was almost exactly a decade,

takmer desať rokov,

and in the off chance that she may be able to see this,

a ak je akákoľvek šanca, že toto uvidí,

we wanted to give you an opportunity

chceme vám dať touto cestou možnosť,

to send her a message.

aby ste jej poslali správu.

Joseph Kim: In Korean?

Joseph Kim: V kórejčine?

AH: You can do English, then Korean as well.

AH: Môžte po anglicky aj kórejsky.

(Laughter)

(smiech)

JK: Okay, I'm not going to make it any longer in Korean

JK: V poriadku, nebudem hovoriť v kórejčine,

because I don't think I can make it

lebo bez sĺz to

without tearing up.

nedokážem.

Nuna, it has been already 10 years

Nuna, už je to asi 10 rokov

that I haven’t seen you.

odkedy som ťa nevidel.

I just wanted to say

Len by som chcel povedať,

that I miss you, and I love you,

že mi chýbaš a že ťa ľúbim.

and please come back to me and stay alive.

Prosím ťa, udrž sa pri živote a vráť sa ku mne.

And I -- oh, gosh.

A, ja... ach, bože...

I still haven't given up my hope to see you.

Stále som nestratil nádej, že ťa znova uvidím.

I will live my life happily

Budem žiť svoj život šťastne

and study hard

a budem usilovne študovať,

until I see you,

až kým ťa znova neuvidím

and I promise I will not cry again.

a sľubujem, že za zase nerozplačem.

(Laughter)

(smiech)

Yes, I'm just looking forward to seeing you,

Áno, teším sa, že ťa znova uvidím,

and if you can't find me,

a ak ma nemôžeš nájsť ty,

I will also look for you,

budem ťa hľadať ja

and I hope to see you one day.

a dúfam, že ťa jedného dňa uvidím.

And can I also make a small message to my mom?

Môžem tiež odkázať niečo mojej mame?

AH: Sure, please.

AH: Samozrejme, nech sa páči.

JK: I haven't spent much time with you,

JK: Nestrávil som s tebou veľa času,

but I know that you still love me,

ale viem, že ma stále ľúbiš

and you probably still pray for me

a zrejme sa stále za mňa modlíš

and think about me.

a myslíš na mňa.

I just wanted to say thank you

Chcem ti len poďakovať, že na tomto svete

for letting me be in this world.

som vďaka tebe.

Thank you.

Ďakujem.

(Applause)

(potlesk)