The family I lost in North Korea. And the family I gained | Joseph Kim

Translator: Joseph Geni Reviewer: Morton Bast

Translator: Abdikani Hassan Reviewer: Jamal Omar

I was born and raised in North Korea.

Waxaan ku dhashay, kuna barbaaray Waqooyiga Kuuriya.

Although my family constantly struggled against poverty,

Inkastoo qoyskaygu ay la tacaalayeen faqrinimo.

I was always loved and cared for first,

Haddana waxaan ahaa midka loogu jeceylayahay, looguna xanaaneyn badan yahay.

because I was the only son

Maxaa yeelay waxaan ahaa wiilka kaliya.

and the youngest of two in the family.

ugu yar labada caruurta ee reerkeena.

But then the great famine began in 1994.

Kadib abaartii darneyd ayaa billaabatay sanadkii 1994-ta.

I was four years old.

Waxaan jiray afar sano oo kaliya.

My sister and I would go searching for firewood

Aniga iyo walaasheey waxaan raadinaynay xaabo (qoryo dabka lagu shito).

starting at 5 in the morning

laga soo billaabo 5-ta subaxnimo.

and come back after midnight.

Gurigana usoo laabaneynay saqdii dhexe kadib.

I would wander the streets searching for food,

Waxaan lugeyn jiray wadooyinka si anigoo raadinaya cunto.

and I remember seeing a small child

Waxaan xasuusataa in aan arkay cunug yar.

tied to a mother's back eating chips,

Kaasoo saaran dusha hooyadiis kuna cunaya baradhi shiilan,

and wanting to steal them from him.

Waxaan doonay in aan ka xado.

Hunger is humiliation. Hunger is hopelessness.

Baahida waa dulinimo, baahida waa rajo la'aan.

For a hungry child, politics and freedom

Cunug yar oo gaajoonaya, siyaasad iyo xoriyad

are not even thought of.

Maahan wuxuu ka fekero.

On my ninth birthday, my parents

Dhalashadeydii sagaalaad, waalideykeyga

couldn't give me any food to eat.

Meysan awoodin in ay isiiyaan wax aan cuno.

But even as a child, I could feel the heaviness

Aniga ka cunug ahaan waan dareemi karay dhibaatada

in their hearts.

Qalbiyadooda ka dhex guuxeysa.

Over a million North Koreans died of starvation in that time,

In ka badan 1 Milyan oo reer Kuuriya ah ayaa ku dhimatay gaajo waqtigaas

and in 2003, when I was 13 years old,

2003-da, waxaan jiray 13 sano

my father became one of them.

Aabahey waxa uu ahaa mid ka mid ah dadkaasi

I saw my father wither away and die.

Waxaan arkayay aabahey oo sii dhimanaya.

In the same year, my mother disappeared one day,

Isla sanadkii, hooyadey ayaa la waayay hal maalin.

and then my sister told me

Walaasheyna waxa ay ii sheegtay.

that she was going to China to earn money,

In ay aadeyso Shiinaha si ay lacag usoo hesho.

but that she would return with money and food soon.

Ayna la soo laaban doonto lacag iyo cunto sida ugu dhaqsiyaha badan .

Since we had never been separated,

Markaasi ka hor waligeey maanan kala tegin.

and I thought we would be together forever,

Waxaana ku fekeri jiray in aan wada joogi doono weligeen.

I didn't even give her a hug when she left.

Xittaa maanan siinin habo markii ay baxaysay.

It was the biggest mistake I have ever made in my life.

Waana khaladkii ugu weynaa ee aan nolosheyda sameeyo.

But again, I didn't know

Lakin marnaba, maanan ogeyn

it was going to be a long goodbye.

In ay macsalaameynta qaadan doonto wakhtigaan aadka u fog.

I have not seen my mom or my sister since then.

Hooyadey iyo walaashey kadib maanan sii arag.

Suddenly, I became an orphan and homeless.

Si lama filaan ah, waxaan ku noqday agoon iyo darbi jiif.

My daily life became very hard,

Nolosheyda maalin laha ah waa ay adkaatay.

but very simple.

Lakin si fudud.

My goal was to find a dusty piece of bread in the trash.

Hadafkeyga waxa uu noqday in aan helo rooti booreystay qashinka dhexdiisa

But that is no way to survive.

lakin ma aheyn wado lagu badbaadi karo.

I started to realize, begging would not be the solution.

Waxaan billaabay in aan xaqiiqsado, in tuugsiga uusan xal aheyn.

So I started to steal from food carts in illegal markets.

Waxaan billaabay in aan suuqyada raashinka ka xado.

Sometimes, I found small jobs

Mararka qaar, waxaan heli jiray shaqooyin yar yar.

in exchange for food.

Oo cunto shaqo ku badalasho ah.

Once, I even spent two months in the winter

Mar, Waxaan ku bixiyay 2 bilood oo qaboobaha ah

working in a coal mine,

Anigoo ka shaqeynaya godadka macdanta laga qodo.

33 meters underground without any protection

oo dhulka u qodneyd 33 meter, maanan wadanin wax iga difaaca haddey wax igu dhacaan.

for up to 16 hours a day.

Waxaan shaqeyn jiray illaa 16 saacadood.

I was not uncommon.

Caadi maanan aheyn.

Many other orphans survived this way, or worse.

Agoon badan ayaa sidaan noloshooda ku maareyn jiray mise waliba ka xun.

When I could not fall asleep from bitter cold

Mar ayaa hurdada iga soo dhici jirin qaboowga dartiis.

or hunger pains,

Marna xanuunka daran ee gaajada.

I hoped that, the next morning,

Waxaan rajeyn jiray, in subaxa xiga.

my sister would come back to wake me up

Ay walaashey dib igu soo laabaneyso hurdadana iga kicineyso.

with my favorite food.

Iyadoo wado cuntadii aan jeclaan jiray.

That hope kept me alive.

Rajadaas ayaa nolosheyda badbaadisay.

I don't mean big, grand hope.

Ula jeedo mid weyn, rajo weyn.

I mean the kind of hope that made me believe

Waxaan ula jeedaa qaar ka mid ah rajada ayaa iga dhigtay mid rumeysan.

that the next trash can had bread,

In qashinka xiga uu rooti ku jiri karo.

even though it usually didn't.

Xittaa haddii aan sidaa badanaa u fekeri jirin.

But if I didn't believe it, I wouldn't even try,

Lakin haddii aanan rumeysneyn, maanan isku dayi laheyn.

and then I would die.

Kaidbna waan dhiman lahaa.

Hope kept me alive.

Rajada nolosheyda ayay badbaadisay.

Every day, I told myself,

Maalin walba, Waxaan nafsadeyda u sheegi jiray.

no matter how hard things got,

In aysan dhibaato lahaeyn wax waliba sida ay u adag yihiin.

still I must live.

Weli waa in aan noolaadaa.

After three years of waiting for my sister's return,

Kadib sugitaankeygaa 3 sano kadib walaasheey soo laabashadeeda.

I decided to go to China to look for her myself.

Waxaan go'aansaday in aan Shiinaha aado, Anigana raadiyo.

I realized

Waan xaqiiqsaday.

I couldn't survive much longer this way.

Intaan ka badan iskuma dhibi karo sidaan.

I knew the journey would be risky,

Waan ogaa safarka in uu qatartiisa leeyahay.

but I would be risking my life either way.

Lakin waa in aan u bareeraa qatarta sidey ahaataba.

I could die of starvation like my father in North Korea,

Laga yaaba in aan u dhinto sida aabaheyn abaartii Waqooyiga Kuuriya.

or at least I could try for a better life

Mise ugu yaraan in aan helo nolol midaan dhaanto.

by escaping to China.

Tegitaankii Shiinaha.

I had learned that many people tried to cross

Waxaan ogaa in dad badan ay isku dayeen in ay gooyaan.

the border to China in the nighttime to avoid being seen.

Xaduuda Shiinaha wakhtiyada habeenkii si aanan loo arag.

North Korean border guards often shoot and kill people

Illaalada xaduuda Waqooyiga Kuuriya, badanaa waa ay toogan jireen weyna dili jireen.

trying to cross the border without permission.

In la dhaafo xaduuda amar la'aan.

Chinese soldiers will catch

Askarta Shiinaha waa ay ku soo qabanayaan.

and send back North Koreans,

Waxayna dib kugu soo dirayaan kuwa Waqooyiga Kuuriya.

where they face severe punishment.

Halkaasoo aad kala kulmeyso ciqaab daran.

I decided to cross during the day,

Waxaan go'aansaday in aan dhaafo maalinta cad.

first because I was still a kid and scared of the dark,

Mida ugu horeysa, weli waan yaraa mugdigana waan ka baqi jiray.

second because I knew I was already taking a risk,

Mida labaad, Waan iska ogaa in qatarta laba gaarba aan lugaha kula jiro.

and since not many people tried to cross during the day,

Waxaan kaloo ogaa in dad badan aysan isku dayi jirin in ay maalinti dhaafaan.

I thought I might be able to cross

Waxaan ku fekeray in aan dhaafi karo.

without being seen by anyone.

Iyadoo qofna i arkeynin.

I made it to China on February 15, 2006.

Waxaan imid Shiinaha 15-ka Febraayo 2006-da.

I was 16 years old.

Waxaan jiray 16 sano.

I thought things in China would be easier,

Waxaan ku fekerayay in Shiinaha ay noloshada ka fududahay.

since there was more food.

Cunto badana laga helo.

I thought more people would help me.

Waxaan ku fekerayay in dad badan ay i caawin doonaan.

But it was harder than living in North Korea,

Lakin waa ay ka adkaatay mida Waqooyiga Kuuriya.

because I was not free.

Maxaa yeelay xor maanan aheyn.

I was always worried about being caught

Waxaan ka welweli jiray in la i qabto.

and sent back.

Dibna la ii diro.

By a miracle, some months later,

SI layaab leh, bilo kadib.

I met someone who was running

Waxaan la kulmay qof ordaya.

an underground shelter for North Koreans,

Dhulka hoostiisa, halkaasoo ay ku noolaayeen dadka ka yimid Waqooyiga Kuuriya.

and was allowed to live there

Waana loo ogolaa in ay ku noolaadaan.

and eat regular meals for the first time in many years.

Waxaan cunay inta caadi ah sanado badan kadib.

Later that year, an activist helped me escape China

Sanadkaas kadib, Dhaqdhaqaaqyo ayaa waxay iga caawiyeen in aan Shiinaha ka soo baxo.

and go to the United States as a refugee.

Oo aan imaado Mareykanka si qaxootinimo ah.

I went to America without knowing a word of English,

Waxaan Mareykanka imid anigoo aanan aqoonin 1 eray oo Ingiriisi ah.

yet my social worker told me that I had to go to high school.

Wuxuu ii sheegay midka mid ah shaqaalaha bulshada in aan aado dugsi sare.

Even in North Korea, I was an F student.

Xitaa waqooyiga Kuuriya, waxaan ahaa arday F ah.

(Laughter)

(Qosol)

And I barely finished elementary school.

Waxaan si dhib badan ku dhameeyay dugsigii hoose.

And I remember I fought in school more than once a day.

Waxaan la tacalayay in ka badan 1 mar maalinti.

Textbooks and the library were not my playground.

Buugaagta iyo maktabada ma aysan aheyn goobta aan ku ciyaaro.

My father tried very hard to motivate me into studying,

Aabaheyn si adag ayuu iskugu dayay in uu igu qasbo waxbarasho.

but it didn't work.

Lakin waa ay shaqeyn weysay.

At one point, my father gave up on me.

Aabahey wuu iska key dhaafay.

He said, "You're not my son anymore."

Wuxuu yiri, "Wiilkeyga ma tihid intaan ka badan"

I was only 11 or 12, but it hurt me deeply.

Waxaan jiray 11 mise 12, lakin waxay ii dhaawacday si qoto dheer.

But nevertheless, my level of motivation

Lakin heerkeyga xiiso.

still didn't change before he died.

Muusan iska badalinin ka hor dhimashadiisa.

So in America, it was kind of ridiculous

Mareykanka waa qeyb ka mid ah maada.

that they said I should go to high school.

Waxay dhaheen waa in aad aadaa dugsi sare.

I didn't even go to middle school.

Maanan aadin xittaa dugsi dhexe.

I decided to go, just because they told me to,

Waan go'aansaday in aan aado, maxaa yeelay waa ay ii sheegeen.

without trying much.

Isku day la'aan badan.

But one day, I came home and my foster mother

Lakin hal maalin, guriga ayaan imid hooyadey.

had made chicken wings for dinner.

Waxay sameysay garbo dooro (digaag).

And during dinner, I wanted to have one more wing,

Inta lagu guda jiray qadada, Waxaan rabooday in aan helo 1 garab kale.

but I realized there were not enough for everyone,

Waxaan xaqiiqsaday, in aysan dadka dhan u filneyn.

so I decided against it.

Waxaan go'aansaday in aan iska daayo.

When I looked down at my plate,

Waxaan fiiriyay hoos.

I saw the last chicken wing, that my foster father had given me his.

Waxaan arkay garabkii ugu dambeeyay ee digaaga, oo aabahey isiinayo.

I was so happy.

Aad ayaan u farxay.

I looked at him sitting next to me.

Waan fiiryay isaga oo agteyda fadhiya.

He just looked back at me very warmly,

DIb ayuu iisoo fiiriyay si kulul.

but said no words.

Lakin waxba muusan dhihin.

Suddenly I remembered my biological father.

Si deg deg ah, waxaan xasuustay aabahey dabeecadaha dadka si fiican u yaqaan.

My foster father's small act of love

Aabahey matalaadiisa yar ee jaceyl.

reminded me of my father,

Waxay isoo xasuusisay aabahey.

who would love to share his food with me

Yaa jecel in uu cuntadiisa qeyb iga siiyo.

when he was hungry, even if he was starving.

Marka uu baahan yahay, xittaa haddii uu abaareysan yahay.

I felt so suffocated that I had so much food in America,

Waxaan dareemay in cunto igu filan Mareykanka ku heysto.

yet my father died of starvation.

Halka uu aabahey gaajo u dhintay.

My only wish that night was to cook a meal for him,

Rajadeyda habeenkaasi waxa ay aheyd in aan cunto u kariyo.

and that night I also thought of what else I could do

Habeenkaasna waxaan ku fekeray in aan awooday.

to honor him.

Si aan u sharfo.

And my answer was to promise to myself

Jawaabteyda waxa ay aheyd in aan nafsadeyda ka ballanqaado.

that I would study hard and get the best education

In aan si aad wax u baranayo, oo aan helo waxbarashada ugu fiican.

in America to honor his sacrifice.

Mareykanka dhexdiisa si aan u sharfo damaciisa.

I took school seriously,

Waxaan si daacad ah u dhigtay dugsiga.

and for the first time ever in my life,

Markii ugu horeysay nolosheyda.

I received an academic award for excellence,

Waxaan helay abaalmarin u dhiganta jaamacad.

and made dean's list from the first semester in high school.

Dhigtayna markii ugu horeysay dugsi sare.

(Applause)

(sabcis)

That chicken wing changed my life.

Garabkaasi doorada (digaaga) ayaa nolosheyda badashay.

(Laughter)

(Qosol)

Hope is personal. Hope is something

Rajada waa gaar, rajada waa wax waliba.

that no one can give to you.

Qofna kuma siin karo.

You have to choose to believe in hope.

Waa in aad doorataa kadibna aad rumeysaa rajadaada.

You have to make it yourself.

Waa in aad noloshaada ka dhigtaa.

In North Korea, I made it myself.

Waqooyiga Kuuriya, Nolosheyda waxaan ka dhigay

Hope brought me to America.

Rajadaan i keentay Mareykanka.

But in America, I didn't know what to do,

Lakin Mareykanka dhexdiisa, Ma aqoonin wax aan sameeyo.

because I had this overwhelming freedom.

Maxaa yeelay, waxaan heystay xoriyadaan layaabka leh.

My foster father at that dinner gave me a direction,

Aabahey maalintii qadada waxa uu ii tilmaamay wado cad.

and he motivated me and gave me a purpose

Wuu ii sababeeyay, wuxuuna i siiyay ujeedo.

to live in America.

In aan Mareykan ku noolaado.

I did not come here by myself.

Aniga isma keenin halkaan.

I had hope, but hope by itself is not enough.

Lakin rajo waan lahaa, kuma filneen rajada kaliya.

Many people helped me along the way to get here.

Dad badan ayaa iga caawiyay halkaan.

North Koreans are fighting hard to survive.

Dadka reer Waqooyiga Kuuriya waxad u dagaalamayaan in ay nolosha maareeyaan.

They have to force themselves to survive,

Waa in ay dagaalamaan si ay u badbaadiyaan noloshooda.

have hope to survive,

In la leeyahay rajo lagu badbaado.

but they cannot make it without help.

Lakin midaas oo dhan ma soconeyso caawinaad la'aan.

This is my message to you.

Tani waa fariinteyda kugu socoto.

Have hope for yourself,

Yeelo rajo nafsad ahaantaada.

but also help each other.

Xittaa caawi kuwa kale.

Life can be hard for everyone, wherever you live.

Nolosha wey ku adkaan kartaa qof waliba, halkuu rabo ha ku noolaade.

My foster father didn't intend to change my life.

Aabahey ujeedadiisa ma aheyn in uu nolosheyda badalo.

In the same way, you may also change someone's life

Wado isku mid ah, lakin waad badali kartaa nolosha qof kale.

with even the smallest act of love.

Xittaa haddii ay jirto xoogaa oo yar matalaad jaceyl ah.

A piece of bread can satisfy your hunger,

Jab rooti ah waxa uu dabooli karaa baahidaada.

and having the hope will bring you bread

Haddaad rajo leedahayna waxay kuu keentaa rootiga.

to keep you alive.

In ay kuu ogolaato in aad noolaato.

But I confidently believe that

Waxaan rumeysanahay.

your act of love and caring

In isku daygaaga jaceyl iyo xanaanad .

can also save another Joseph's life

ay badbaadin kartaa nolosha Joseph kale (Joseph waa magaca ninka ka sheekeynaya sheekada qabsatay)

and change thousands of other Josephs

ayna badali karto kumanaan Joseph oo kale.

who are still having hope to survive.

Yaa leh rajo ah in uu badbaado.

Thank you.

Waad mahadsan tihiin.

(Applause)

(Sabcis)

Adrian Hong: Joseph, thank you for sharing

Waad ku mahadsan tahay Joseph sheekadaada oo aad nala wadaagtay.

that very personal and special story with us.

Si gaarka ah iyo sida qaaska ah oo aad nola wadaagtay.

I know you haven't seen your sister for, you said,

Waxaan ogahay in aadan arkin in aad walaashaa arag sidaad tiri.

it was almost exactly a decade,

Hadda waxaa ka soo wareegta tobaneeyo sano.

and in the off chance that she may be able to see this,

Fursadaan waxaa laga yaabaa in ay aragto.

we wanted to give you an opportunity

Waxaan ku siineynaa fursad.

to send her a message.

Si aad fariin ugu dirto.

Joseph Kim: In Korean?

Ma af Kuuriyaan?

AH: You can do English, then Korean as well.

Ingiriisi waad ku hadli kartaa Kooriyana waa ok.

(Laughter)

(Qosol)

JK: Okay, I'm not going to make it any longer in Korean

Kuuriyaan in badan looma baahno.

because I don't think I can make it

Maxaa yeelay uma maleenayo in aan sameyn karo.

without tearing up.

Haddii aanan ka tanaasuleynin go'aankii hore.

Nuna, it has been already 10 years

baayo (walaalo) waxaa ka soo wareegatay 10 sano.

that I haven’t seen you.

In aanan ku arag.

I just wanted to say

Waxaan rabaa in aan ku dhaho.

that I miss you, and I love you,

In aan aad kuugu xiisay, kuuna jeclahay.

and please come back to me and stay alive.

Fadlan dib igu soo laabo noloshana ila joog.

And I -- oh, gosh.

Iyo -oh

I still haven't given up my hope to see you.

Weli kama rajo dhigin rajadeydii aheyd in aan dib kuu arko.

I will live my life happily

Nolosheyda farxad ayaan ku noolaan doonaa.

and study hard

Aadna wax waan u baran doonaa.

until I see you,

Illaa aan kaa arkayo.

and I promise I will not cry again.

Waxaan kaa ballanqaadayaa in aanan dib u oynin.

(Laughter)

(Qosol)

Yes, I'm just looking forward to seeing you,

Waxaan rajaynayaa inaan ku arko

and if you can't find me,

Haddii aad isoo heli weyso.

I will also look for you,

Waan ku raadin doonaa.

and I hope to see you one day.

Waxaan rajeynayaa maalin uun in aan ku arko.

And can I also make a small message to my mom?

Hooyadey ma u diri karaa fa.riin yar?

AH: Sure, please.

Haa, Hubaal.

JK: I haven't spent much time with you,

Wax badan wakhti maanan kula qaadanin.

but I know that you still love me,

Waan ogahay weli in aad i jeceshahay.

and you probably still pray for me

Weli waad ii duceysaa.

and think about me.

Waadna iga fekertaa.

I just wanted to say thank you

Waxaan rabaa oo kaliya in aan ku dhaho waad mahadsan tahay.

for letting me be in this world.

In aad ii ogolaato in aan adduunka imaado.

Thank you.

Waad mahadsan tahay.

(Applause)

(Sacabis)