I got 99 problems... palsy is just one | Maysoon Zayid

Translator: Pei Fang Ng Reviewer: Sam HK

Helo, TEDWomen, apa khabar?

Hello, TEDWomen, what's up.

(Cheering)

(Sorakan)

Not good enough.

Tak memuaskan.

Hello, TEDWomen, what is up?

Helo, TEDWomen, apa khabar?

(Loud cheering)

(Sorakan)

My name is Maysoon Zayid,

Nama saya Maysoon Zayid,

dan saya tak mabuk,

and I am not drunk,

but the doctor who delivered me was.

yang mabuk ialah doktor yang sambut kelahiran saya.

He cut my mom six different times

Dia membedah mak saya 6 kali

in six different directions,

di tempat yang berbeza.

suffocating poor little me in the process.

Saya sesak nafas semasa proses itu.

As a result, I have cerebral palsy,

Akibatnya, saya menderitai palsi serebrum (P.S).

which means I shake all the time.

Maksudnya, saya asyik menggeletar.

Look.

Tengok.

It's exhausting.

Ia memenatkan. Saya seolah-olah

I'm like Shakira, Shakira meets Muhammad Ali.

gabungan Shakira dan Muhammad Ali.

(Laughter)

(Gelak ketawa)

CP is not genetic.

P.S tak berkaitan dengan faktor genetik.

It's not a birth defect. You can't catch it.

Ia bukannya kecacatan lahir.

No one put a curse on my mother's uterus,

Tiada orang yang menyumpah mak saya,

and I didn't get it because my parents are first cousins,

dan saya tak menderitainya kerana ibu bapa saya ialah saudara sepupu,

which they are.

sebenarnya, ya.

(Laughter)

(Gelak ketawa)

It only happens from accidents,

Ia berlaku akibat kemalangan,

like what happened to me on my birth day.

seperti yang berlaku pada saya semasa saya lahir.

Now, I must warn you,

Saya bukannya seseorang yang memberikan inspirasi,

I'm not inspirational.

(Laughter)

And I don't want anyone in this room to feel bad for me,

saya tak mahu anda

bersimpati pada saya,

because at some point in your life,

kerana terdapat saat-saat tertentu dalam hidup anda,

you have dreamt of being disabled.

anda harapkan bahawa anda kurang upaya.

Come on a journey with me.

Bayangkan yang berikutnya.

It's Christmas Eve, you're at the mall,

Pada hari sebelum Krismas, anda pergi ke pusat beli belah.

Anda memandu sambil mencari tempat letak kereta.

you're driving around in circles looking for parking,

and what do you see?

Apa yang anda lihat?

Sixteen empty handicapped spaces.

16 ruang kosong untuk orang kurang upaya.

(Laughter)

Anda berfikir, "Mengapa saya bukannya kurang upaya?"

And you're like, "God, can't I just be a little disabled?"

Anda berfikir, "Mengapa saya bukannya kurang upaya?"

(Laughter)

(Gelak ketawa)

Also, I've got to tell you,

Saya mahu beritahu anda,

Saya ada 99 masalah. Palsi cuma salah satu daripadanya.

I've got 99 problems, and palsy is just one.

(Laughter)

If there was an Oppression Olympics,

Jika terdapatnya Olimpik Mangsa Penindasan,

I would win the gold medal.

saya akan mendapat pingat emas.

I'm Palestinian, Muslim,

Saya orang Palestina, Muslim, wanita, kurang upaya,

I'm female, I'm disabled,

and I live in New Jersey.

dan saya tinggal di New Jersey.

(Laughter)

(Gelak ketawa) (Tepukan)

(Applause)

If you don't feel better about yourself, maybe you should.

Ketika ini, anda patut bersyukur pada diri sendiri.

(Laughter)

Cliffside Park, New Jersey is my hometown.

Cliffside Park, New Jersey, ialah kampung halaman saya.

I have always loved the fact

"Cliffside Park" dan "palsi serebrum" mempunyai persamaan

that my hood and my affliction share the same initials.

"Cliffside Park" dan "palsi serebrum" mempunyai persamaan

kerana kedua-dua mempunyai huruf "C" dan "P".

I also love the fact

Jika saya mahu berjalan

that if I wanted to walk from my house to New York City, I could.

dari rumah saya ke Bandar New York, saya dapat lakukannya.

A lot of people with CP don't walk,

Kebanyakan orang yang menderitai P.S tak boleh berjalan,

but my parents didn't believe in "can't."

tapi ibu bapa saya tak suka mendengar "tak boleh".

My father's mantra was,

Bagi ayah saya,

"You can do it, yes you can can."

"Kamu boleh lakukannya, ya, kamu boleh "boleh".

(Laughter)

(Gelak ketawa)

Jadi, jika semua kakak saya mengelap lantai,

So, if my three older sisters were mopping,

I was mopping.

saya pun kena mengelap lantai.

If my three older sisters went to public school,

Jika semua kakak saya belajar di sekolah awam,

ibu bapa saya akan pastikan sistem persekolahan

my parents would sue the school system

and guarantee that I went too,

benarkan saya belajar di sekolah awam.

and if we didn't all get A's,

Jika kami tidak mendapat gred A,

we all got my mother's slipper.

selipar mak kami akan menunggu kami.

(Laughter)

(Gelak ketawa)

Semasa saya berusia 5 tahun, ayah saya mengajar saya berjalan

My father taught me how to walk when I was five years old

dengan cara meletakkan tapak kaki saya pada kakinya.

by placing my heels on his feet

and just walking.

dengan cara meletakkan tapak kaki saya pada kakinya.

Another tactic that he used

Dia juga menggoyang-goyangkan

is he would dangle a dollar bill in front of me

wang kertas USD1 di depan saya agar saya mengejarnya.

and have me chase it.

(Laughter)

(Gelak ketawa)

Sifat penari bogel dalam diri saya agak kuat.

My inner stripper was very strong.

(Laughter)

Sifat penari bogel dalam diri saya agak kuat.

Yeah.

Pada hari pertama saya di tadika,

No, by the first day of kindergarten,

I was walking like a champ

saya berjalan seperti seorang juara yang telah dibelasah dengan teruk.

saya berjalan seperti seorang juara yang telah dibelasah dengan teruk.

who had been punched one too many times.

(Laughter)

Growing up, there were only six Arabs in my town,

Semasa saya kecil, cuma ada 6 orang Arab di pekan saya.

and they were all my family.

Mereka ialah ahli keluarga saya.

(Laughter)

Now there are 20 Arabs in town,

Kini, ada 20 orang Arab di situ,

and they are still all my family.

mereka masih ahli keluarga saya. (Gelak ketawa)

(Laughter)

I don't think anyone even noticed we weren't Italian.

Rasanya, tiada orang tahu bahawa kami bukan orang Itali.

(Laughter)

(Gelak ketawa) (Tepukan)

(Applause)

This was before 9/11

Itu sebelum serangan 9/11 dan sebelum ahli politik

and before politicians thought it was appropriate

menyalahgunakan slogan "Saya benci Muslim".

to use "I hate Muslims" as a campaign slogan.

menyalahgunakan slogan "Saya benci Muslim".

Mereka yang membesar bersama saya terima kepercayaan saya.

The people that I grew up with had no problem with my faith.

They did, however, seem very concerned

Tapi, mereka amat risau

that I would starve to death during Ramadan.

bahawa saya akan kelaparan semasa bulan Ramadan.

I would explain to them that I have enough fat

Saya akan terangkan bahawa lemak badan saya

to live off of for three whole months,

dapat menampung hidup saya selama 3 bulan.

so fasting from sunrise to sunset is a piece of cake.

Jadi, berpuasa bukannya masalah bagi saya.

(Laughter)

I have tap-danced on Broadway.

Saya pernah menari tarian tap di Broadway.

Yeah, on Broadway. It's crazy.

Ya, di Broadway. Ia memeranjatkan. (Tepukan)

(Applause)

My parents couldn't afford physical therapy,

Ibu bapa saya tak mampu menampung terapi fizikal saya,

so they sent me to dancing school.

jadi mereka hantar saya ke sekolah tarian.

I learned how to dance in heels,

Saya belajar menari dengan kasut bertumit tinggi,

which means I can walk in heels.

saya boleh berjalan dengan kasut bertumit tinggi.

Saya berasal dari Jersey.

And I'm from Jersey,

and we are really concerned with being chic,

Kami pentingkan gaya.

Kawan-kawan saya dan saya pakai kasut bertumit tinggi.

so if my friends wore heels, so did I.

And when my friends went and spent their summer vacations

Pada cuti musim panas, kawan-kawan saya bercuti

on the Jersey Shore, I did not.

di Pantai Jersey.

I spent my summers in a war zone,

Saya bercuti di zon perang

because my parents were afraid

kerana ibu bapa saya risau

that if we didn't go back to Palestine every single summer,

jika kami tak balik ke Palestin

pada setiap musim panas,

we'd grow up to be Madonna.

akhirnya kami mungkin menjadi seperti Madonna.

(Laughter)

(Gelak ketawa)

Summer vacations often consisted of my father trying to heal me,

Semasa cuti musim panas,

ayah saya cuba merawat saya.

Jadi, saya perlu minum susu rusa,

so I drank deer's milk,

I had hot cups on my back,

terima rawatan botol panas,

I was dunked in the Dead Sea,

diredamkan ke dalam Laut Mati.

and I remember the water burning my eyes

Air laut menyakitkan mata saya

and thinking, "It's working! It's working!"

dan saya berfikir, "Ia berkesan!"

(Laughter)

(Gelak ketawa)

But one miracle cure we did find was yoga.

Kami dapati rawatan yoga amat berkesan.

I have to tell you, it's very boring,

Tapi, ia amat membosankan.

but before I did yoga,

Sebelum saya berlatih yoga,

I was a stand-up comedian who can't stand up.

saya pelawak secara langsung yang tidak boleh berdiri.

And now I can stand on my head.

Tapi kini, saya boleh berdiri dengan kepala saya.

My parents reinforced this notion

Ibu bapa saya memberikan saya tanggapan

that I could do anything,

bahawa saya boleh membuat apa-apa saja,

that no dream was impossible,

dan tiada impian yang mustahil.

and my dream was to be

Impian saya ialah,

on the daytime soap opera "General Hospital."

saya mahu berlakon dalam drama "General Hospital".

(Laughter)

Di bawah dasar tindakan afirmatif,

I went to college during affirmative action

and got a sweet scholarship to ASU,

saya mendapat biasiswa untuk belajar di ASU,

Arizona State University,

Arizona State University,

because I fit every single quota.

kerana saya memenuhi semua kriteria.

(Laughter)

Saya dilayan seperti haiwan peliharaan.

I was like the pet lemur of the theater department.

Everybody loved me.

Semua orang sayang saya.

I did all the less-than-intelligent kids' homework,

Saya membuat kerja rumah untuk pelajar lain.

I got A's in all of my classes,

Saya mendapat gred A dalam semua kursus.

A's in all of their classes.

Begitu juga dengan kursus mereka.

(Laughter)

Semasa saya melakonkan sebuah babak

Every time I did a scene from "The Glass Menagerie,"

dalam "The Glass Menagerie,"

my professors would weep.

pensyarah saya menangis.

But I never got cast.

Tapi, saya tidak berpeluang berlakon secara rasmi.

Finally, my senior year,

Akhirnya, pada tahun terakhir saya,

ASU decided to do a show called "They Dance Real Slow in Jackson."

ASU mahu membuat rancangan

"They Dance Real Slow in Jackson."

It's a play about a girl with CP.

Ia tentang seorang gadis yang menderitai P.S.

I was a girl with CP.

Saya menderitai P.S.

So I start shouting from the rooftops,

Saya sangat gembira,

"I'm finally going to get a part!

"Akhirnya saya dapat berlakon!"

I have cerebral palsy!

"Saya menderitai palsi serebrum!"

Free at last! Free at last!

"Akhirnya saya bebas!"

Thank God almighty, I'm free at last!"

"Terima kasih kepada Tuhan, akhirnya saya bebas!"

I didn't get the part.

Saya tak dapat watak itu. (Gelak ketawa)

(Laughter)

Sherry Brown got the part.

Sherry Brown mendapat watak itu.

Saya berjumpa dengan dekan Jabatan Teater.

I went racing to the head of the theater department

crying hysterically, like someone shot my cat,

Saya menangis, seolah-olah kucing saya mati ditembak,

dan menanya dia sebabnya.

to ask her why,

and she said it was because they didn't think I could do the stunts.

Dia kata, mereka tak fikir

saya dapat lakukan aksi-aksinya.

I said, "Excuse me, if I can't do the stunts,

Saya kata, "Maaf, jika saya tak dapat lakukannya,

neither can the character."

begitu juga watak itu."

(Laughter)

(Gelak ketawa) (Tepukan)

(Applause)

This was a part that I was literally born to play

Saya ditakdirkan untuk melakonkannya,

they gave it to a non-palsy actress.

tapi peluang itu diberikan kepada orang lain.

Universiti mencerminkan masyarakat.

College was imitating life.

Hollywood has a sordid history

Pada hakikatnya, Hollywood cuma

of casting able-bodied actors to play disabled onscreen.

memilih pelakon yang sihat dari segi fizikal

untuk melakonkan watak kurang upaya.

Upon graduating, I moved back home,

Setelah tamat pengajian, saya berpindah balik.

and my first acting gig was as an extra on a daytime soap opera.

Lakonan pertama saya

adalah sebagai watak kecil dalam drama pada waktu pagi.

My dream was coming true.

Akhirnya, impian saya tercapai.

And I knew that I would be promoted

Saya tahu bahawa saya akan

from "Diner Diner" to "Wacky Best Friend" in no time.

menjadi semakin terkenal.

(Laughter)

But instead, I remained a glorified piece of furniture

Tapi, saya masih tidak terkenal.

that you could only recognize from the back of my head,

Saya cuma muncul sekejap saja dalam drama.

and it became clear to me

Akhirnya saya sedar,

that casting directors

pengarah tidak akan memilih

didn't hire fluffy, ethnic, disabled actors.

pelakon kurang upaya yang lurus dan kaum minoriti.

They only hired perfect people.

Hanya pelakon yang sempurna akan terpilih.

But there were exceptions to the rule.

Tapi, terdapatnya kekecualian.

I grew up watching Whoopi Goldberg,

Sejak kecil, saya suka Whoopi Goldberg,

Roseanne Barr, Ellen,

Roseanne Barr dan Ellen.

and all of these women had one thing in common:

Mereka ini mempunyai satu persamaan:

they were comedians.

Mereka pelawak.

So I became a comic.

Jadi, saya pun menjadi pelawak.

(Laughter)

(Gelak ketawa) (Tepukan)

(Applause)

My first gig was driving famous comics

Tugas pertama saya adalah sebagai pemandu.

from New York City to shows in New Jersey,

Saya menghantar seorang pelawak yang terkenal.

and I'll never forget the face of the first comic I ever drove

Saya pasti tidak akan lupa riak mukanya ketika dia tahu

Saya pasti tidak akan lupa riak mukanya ketika dia tahu

when he realized that he was speeding down the New Jersey Turnpike

bahawa pemandu yang memecut ini menderitai P.S.

with a chick with CP driving him.

bahawa pemandu yang memecut ini menderitai P.S.

(Laughter)

I've performed in clubs all over America,

Saya pernah membuat persembahan di banyak kelab di Amerika.

and I've also performed in Arabic in the Middle East,

Saya juga pernah membuat persembahan di Timur Tengah.

uncensored and uncovered.

Persembahan saya tidak ditapis.

(Laughter)

Some people say I'm the first stand-up comic in the Arab world.

Sesetengah orang kata,

saya pelawak secara langsung yang pertama di dunia Arab.

I never like to claim first,

Saya tidak ingin menuntutnya,

but I do know that they never heard

tapi saya pasti,

that nasty little rumor that women aren't funny,

mereka akan mendapati persembahan saya betul-betul lucu.

and they find us hysterical.

mereka akan mendapati persembahan saya betul-betul lucu.

(Laughter)

In 2003, my brother from another mother and father

Pada tahun 2003, kawan baik saya,

Dean Obeidallah and I started

iaitu Dean Obeidallah dan saya mulakan

the New York Arab-American Comedy Festival,

Festival Komedi Arab-Amerika New York.

now in its 10th year.

Kini, ia dah tahun ke-10.

Kami mahu mengubah tanggapan negatif media

Our goal was to change the negative image of Arab-Americans in media,

terhadap Arab-Amerika,

while also reminding casting directors

dan mengingatkan pengarah

that South Asian and Arab are not synonymous.

bahawa orang di Asia Selatan dan orang Arab adalah berbeza.

(Laughter)

(Gelak ketawa)

Mainstreaming Arabs was much, much easier

Mempopularkan orang Arab dalam masyarakat

adalah lebih mudah daripada menghapuskan

than conquering the challenge against the stigma against disability.

stigma terhadap orang kurang upaya.

My big break came in 2010.

Sebuah peluang baik muncul pada tahun 2010.

I was invited to be a guest on the cable news show

Saya dijemput sebagai tetamu undangan

dalam rancangan berita kabel

"Countdown with Keith Olbermann."

"Countdown With Keith Olbermann".

I walked in looking like I was going to the prom,

Saya sangat gembira.

and they shuffle me into a studio

Saya ditarik ke studio

and seat me on a spinning, rolling chair.

dan ditempatkan pada kerusi yang dapat berputar.

(Laughter)

Saya melihat pengurus pentas dan bertanya,

So I looked at the stage manager

and I'm like, "Excuse me, can I have another chair?"

"Maaf, bolehkah saya menukar kerusi?"

And she looked at me and she went,

Dia melihat saya dan mula mengira,

"5, 4, 3, 2,..."

"Five, four, three, two ..."

And we were live, right?

Ia siaran langsung, kan?

So I had to grip onto the anchor's desk

Saya terpaksa memegang meja dengan kuat

so that I wouldn't roll off the screen during the segment,

agar saya tidak akan terjatuh dari kerusi itu.

and when the interview was over, I was livid.

Setelah wawancara itu tamat, muka saya pucat-lesi.

I had finally gotten my chance and I blew it,

Saya telah mensia-siakan peluang baik itu.

and I knew I would never get invited back.

Saya tahu bahawa saya tidak akan dijemput lagi.

But not only did Mr. Olbermann invite me back,

Tapi, En. Olbermann bukan saja menjemput saya lagi,

he made me a full-time contributor,

dia juga menjadikan saya tetamu tetap

and he taped down my chair.

dan menetapkan kedudukan kerusi saya.

(Laughter)

(Gelak ketawa) (Tepukan)

(Applause)

One fun fact I learned while on the air with Keith Olbermann

Semasa dalam rancangan Keith Olbermann,

saya belajar sesuatu yang menarik:

was that humans on the Internet are scumbags.

Pengguna Internet sangat teruk.

(Laughter)

Orang kata, kata-kata kanak-kanak menyakitkan hati,

People say children are cruel,

tapi dari dulu hingga sekarang, saya tak pernah diketawakan.

but I was never made fun of as a child or an adult.

Suddenly, my disability on the world wide web is fair game.

Kecacatan saya telah menjadi sasaran pengguna Internet.

I would look at clips online and see comments like,

Apabila saya menonton klip video,

terdapat komen seperti,

"Yo, why's she tweakin'?"

"Mengapa dia menggeletar?"

"Yo, is she retarded?"

"Adakah dia terencat akal?"

And my favorite, "Poor Gumby-mouth terrorist.

"Kasihannya pengganas yang bermulut senget ini.

What does she suffer from?

Kenapa dengan dia?

We should really pray for her."

Kita patut berdoa untuk dia."

One commenter even suggested that I add my disability to my credits:

Ada orang yang mencadangkan

bahawa saya patut mentakrifkan diri sebagai:

screenwriter, comedian, palsy.

penulis skrip, pelawak, palsi.

Kecacatan dan warna kulit adalah ketara.

Disability is as visual as race.

Jika pengguna kerusi roda tak dapat melakonkan Beyoncé,

If a wheelchair user can't play Beyoncé,

then Beyoncé can't play a wheelchair user.

maka sebaliknya pun begitu.

The disabled are the largest —

Orang kurang upaya merupakan...

Yeah, clap for that, man. Come on.

Ya, tepuklah tangan.

(Applause)

(Tepukan)

People with disabilities are the largest minority in the world,

Bagi golongan minoriti, jumlah orang kurang upaya

adalah tertinggi di dunia dan jumlah kami paling rendah dalam bidang hiburan.

and we are the most underrepresented in entertainment.

adalah tertinggi di dunia dan jumlah kami paling rendah dalam bidang hiburan.

Doktor kata, saya tak boleh berjalan,

The doctors said that I wouldn't walk,

but I am here in front of you.

tapi saya ada di sini sekarang.

Jika saya membesar pada zaman media sosial,

However, if I grew up with social media,

I don't think I would be.

rasanya saya takkan boleh berjalan.

I hope that together,

Saya berharap,

we can create more positive images

kita semua boleh mewujudkan lebih banyak tanggapan positif

of disability in the media and in everyday life.

terhadap kecacatan dalam media dalam kehidupan seharian.

Perhaps if there were more positive images,

Jika tanggapan positif lebih banyak,

it would foster less hate on the Internet.

mungkin ia dapat mengurangkan komen buruk di Internet.

Mungkin tidak.

Or maybe not.

Maybe it still takes a village to teach our children well.

Mungkin semua orang patut terlibat

dan mendidik anak-anak kita dengan baiknya.

My crooked journey has taken me to some very spectacular places.

Saya pernah melalui

pengalaman yang amat hebat.

I got to walk the red carpet

Saya pernah berjalan di karpet merah

flanked by soap diva Susan Lucci

bersama pelakon terkenal, Susan Lucci dan Lorraine Arbus.

and the iconic Loreen Arbus.

bersama pelakon terkenal, Susan Lucci dan Lorraine Arbus.

I got to act in a movie with Adam Sandler

Saya pernah berlakon dalam filem bersama Adam Sandler

and work with my idol, the amazing Dave Matthews.

dan bekerja dengan idola saya, Dave Matthews.

dan bekerja dengan idola saya, Dave Matthews.

I toured the world as a headliner on Arabs Gone Wild.

Saya menjadi terkenal kerana berkomedi dalam "Arabs Gone Wild".

Saya menjadi terkenal kerana berkomedi dalam "Arabs Gone Wild".

I was a delegate representing the great state of New Jersey

Saya pernah menjadi wakil

bagi negeri New Jersey

at the 2008 DNC.

semasa Konvensyen Demokratik Kebangsaan 2008.

And I founded Maysoon's Kids,

Saya menubuhkan Maysoon's Kids,

a charity that hopes to give Palestinian refugee children

sebuah badan kebajikan yang

menjaga anak-anak pelarian Palestina,

sebagaimana ibu bapa saya menjaga saya.

a sliver of the chance my parents gave me.

But the one moment that stands out the most

Tapi, pengalaman yang paling hebat ialah,...

was when I got -- before this moment --

sebelum saat di TED ini,

(Laughter)

(Gelak ketawa) (Tepukan)

(Applause)

But the one moment that stands out the most

Tapi, saat yang paling hebat ialah,

was when I got to perform

saya berpeluang membuat persembahan

untuk lelaki yang bergerak dengan pantas

for the man who floats like a butterfly

and stings like a bee,

dan bertinju dengan hebat,

has Parkinson's and shakes just like me,

dia menderitai Parkinson dan juga menggeletar,

Muhammad Ali.

Muhammad Ali.

(Applause)

(Tepukan)

(Applause ends)

It was the only time that my father ever saw me perform live,

Itulah satu-satunya kali

ayah saya menyaksikan persembahan secara langsung saya.

Saya mendedikasikan ceramah ini kepada Allahyarham ayah saya.

and I dedicate this talk to his memory.

(Arabic) Allah yerhamak yaba.

(Dalam bahasa Arab)

(English) My name is Maysoon Zayid,

Nama saya Maysoon Zayid.

and if I can can, you can can.

Jika saya boleh "boleh", anda pun begitu.

(Cheering)

(Tepukan)

(Applause)