What really matters at the end of life | BJ Miller | TED

12,750,923 views ใƒป 2015-09-30

TED


ืื ื ืœื—ืฅ ืคืขืžื™ื™ื ืขืœ ื”ื›ืชื•ื‘ื™ื•ืช ื‘ืื ื’ืœื™ืช ืœืžื˜ื” ื›ื“ื™ ืœื”ืคืขื™ืœ ืืช ื”ืกืจื˜ื•ืŸ.

ืžืชืจื’ื: Zeeva Livshitz ืžื‘ืงืจ: Ido Dekkers
00:13
Well, we all need a reason to wake up.
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ื•ื‘ื›ืŸ, ื›ื•ืœื ื• ื–ืงื•ืงื™ื ืœืกื™ื‘ื” ืœื”ืชืขื•ืจืจ ื‘ื‘ื•ืงืจ.
00:18
For me, it just took 11,000 volts.
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ื‘ืฉื‘ื™ืœื™ ื–ื” ืคืฉื•ื˜ ืœืงื— 11,000 ื•ื•ืœื˜.
00:23
I know you're too polite to ask,
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ืื ื™ ื™ื•ื“ืข ืฉืืชื ืžื ื•ืžืกื™ื ืžื›ื“ื™ ืœืฉืื•ืœ,
00:24
so I will tell you.
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ืื– ืื ื™ ืืกืคืจ ืœื›ื.
00:27
One night, sophomore year of college,
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ืœื™ืœื” ืื—ื“, ื‘ืฉื ื” ืฉื ื™ื™ื” ื‘ืงื•ืœื’ ',
00:29
just back from Thanksgiving holiday,
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ืจืง ื—ื–ืจืชื™ ืžื—ื•ืคืฉืช ื—ื’ ื”ื”ื•ื“ื™ื”,
00:33
a few of my friends and I were horsing around,
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ืื—ื“ื™ื ืžื—ื‘ืจื™ื™ ื•ืื ื™ ื”ืฉืชื•ื‘ื‘ื ื• ืงืฆืช,
00:35
and we decided to climb atop a parked commuter train.
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ื•ื”ื—ืœื˜ื ื• ืœื˜ืคืก ืขืœ ื’ื‘ื™ ืจื›ื‘ืช ืฉื ื•ืกืขืช ื”ืœื•ืš ื•ืฉื•ื‘.
00:40
It was just sitting there, with the wires that run overhead.
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ื–ื” ื”ื™ื” ืคืฉื•ื˜ ืœืฉื‘ืช ืฉื, ืขื ื”ื›ื‘ืœื™ื ืฉืžืขืœ ืœืจืืฉ.
00:43
Somehow, that seemed like a great idea at the time.
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ืื™ื›ืฉื”ื•, ื–ื” ื ืจืื” ื›ืžื• ืจืขื™ื•ืŸ ื ื”ื“ืจ ื‘ืื•ืชื• ื–ืžืŸ.
00:46
We'd certainly done stupider things.
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ืœื‘ื˜ื— ืขืฉื™ื ื• ื“ื‘ืจื™ื ืžื˜ื•ืคืฉื™ื ื™ื•ืชืจ.
00:50
I scurried up the ladder on the back,
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ืžื™ื”ืจืชื™ ืœื˜ืคืก ื‘ืกื•ืœื ืฉืžืื—ื•ืจ
00:53
and when I stood up,
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ื•ื›ืฉื ืขืžื“ืชื™,
00:55
the electrical current entered my arm,
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ื”ื–ืจื ื”ื—ืฉืžืœื™ ื ื›ื ืก ืœื™ ืœื–ืจื•ืข,
00:58
blew down and out my feet, and that was that.
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ื”ืชืคื•ืฆืฅ ืžื˜ื” ื•ื™ืฆื ืžื”ืจื’ืœื™ื™ื ื•ื–ื”ื•.
01:03
Would you believe that watch still works?
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ื”ื™ื™ืชื ืžืืžื™ื ื™ื ืฉื”ืฉืขื•ืŸ ื”ื”ื•ื ืขื“ื™ื™ืŸ ืคื•ืขืœ?
01:08
Takes a licking!
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ืขื“ื™ื™ืŸ ืžืชืงืชืง!
01:09
(Laughter)
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(ืฆื—ื•ืง)
01:10
My father wears it now in solidarity.
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ืื‘ื™ ืขื•ื ื“ ืื•ืชื• ื›ืขืช ื›ืื•ืช ืกื•ืœื™ื“ืจื™ื•ืช.
01:15
That night began my formal relationship with death -- my death --
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ื‘ืื•ืชื• ื”ืœื™ืœื” ื”ื—ืœื” ืžืขืจื›ืช ื”ื™ื—ืกื™ื ื”ืจืฉืžื™ืช ืฉืœื™ ืขื ืžื•ื•ืช - ื”ืžื•ื•ืช ืฉืœื™ -
01:21
and it also began my long run as a patient.
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ื•ื–ื” ื’ื ื”ืชื—ื™ืœ ืืช ื”ืจื™ืฆื” ื”ืืจื•ื›ื” ืฉืœื™ ื›ืžื˜ื•ืคืœ.
01:25
It's a good word.
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ื–ื• ืžื™ืœื” ื˜ื•ื‘ื”.
01:26
It means one who suffers.
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ื–ื” ืื•ืžืจ ืื—ื“ ืฉืกื•ื‘ืœ.
01:28
So I guess we're all patients.
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ืื– ืื ื™ ืžื ื™ื— ืฉื›ื•ืœื ื• ืžื˜ื•ืคืœื™ื.
01:31
Now, the American health care system
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ืขื›ืฉื™ื•, ืœืžืขืจื›ืช ื”ื‘ืจื™ืื•ืช ื”ืืžืจื™ืงื ื™ืช
01:33
has more than its fair share of dysfunction --
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ื™ืฉ ื™ื•ืชืจ ืžื—ืœืง ืกื‘ื™ืจ ืฉืœ ื—ื•ืกืจ ืชืคืงื•ื“ -
01:37
to match its brilliance, to be sure.
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ื›ื ื’ื“ ื”ืื™ื ื˜ืœื™ื’ื ืฆื™ื” ื”ืžื‘ืจื™ืงื” ืฉืœื” ืœื™ืชืจ ื“ื™ื•ืง.
01:39
I'm a physician now, a hospice and palliative medicine doc,
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ืื ื™ ืจื•ืคื ืขื›ืฉื™ื•, ืฉืœ ื”ื•ืกืคื™ืก ื•ืจืคื•ืื” ืคืœื™ืื˜ื™ื‘ื™ืช,
01:44
so I've seen care from both sides.
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ืื– ืจืื™ืชื™ ื˜ื™ืคื•ืœ ืžืฉื ื™ ืฆื™ื“ื™ ื”ืžืชืจืก.
01:47
And believe me: almost everyone who goes into healthcare
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ื•ื”ืืžื™ื ื• ืœื™, ื›ืžืขื˜ ื›ืœ ืžื™ ืฉืžื’ื™ืข ืœืžืขืจื›ืช ื”ื‘ืจื™ืื•ืช
01:50
really means well -- I mean, truly.
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ืžืžืฉ ืžืชื›ื•ื•ืŸ ืœื˜ื•ื‘ -- ืื ื™ ืžืชื›ื•ื•ืŸ, ื‘ืืžืช.
01:54
But we who work in it are also unwitting agents
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ืื‘ืœ ืื ื—ื ื• ืฉืขื•ื‘ื“ื™ื ื‘ืชื•ื›ื” ื”ื ื ื• ื’ื ืกื•ื›ื ื™ื ืฉืœื ื‘ืžืชื›ื•ื•ืŸ
01:58
for a system that too often does not serve.
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ืฉืœ ืžืขืจื›ืช ืฉืœืขืชื™ื ืงืจื•ื‘ื•ืช ืžื“ื™ ืื™ื ื” ื ื•ืชื ืช ืฉืจื•ืช.
02:03
Why?
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ืœืžื”?
02:05
Well, there's actually a pretty easy answer to that question,
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ื•ื‘ื›ืŸ, ื™ืฉ ืœืžืขืฉื” ืชืฉื•ื‘ื” ื“ื™ ืงืœื” ืœืฉืืœื” ื–ื•,
02:09
and it explains a lot:
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ื•ื–ื” ืžืกื‘ื™ืจ ื”ืจื‘ื”:
02:11
because healthcare was designed with diseases, not people, at its center.
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ื‘ื’ืœืœ ืฉืžืขืจื›ืช ื”ื‘ืจื™ืื•ืช ืชื•ื›ื ื ื” ืขื ืžื—ืœื•ืช, ื•ืœื ืขื ืื ืฉื™ื, ื‘ืžืจื›ื–ื”.
02:18
Which is to say, of course, it was badly designed.
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ืฉื–ื” ืื•ืžืจ ื›ืžื•ื‘ืŸ, ืฉื”ื™ื ืชื•ื›ื ื ื” ืœื ื˜ื•ื‘.
02:22
And nowhere are the effects of bad design more heartbreaking
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ื•ื‘ืฉื•ื ืžืงื•ื ื”ื”ืฉืคืขื•ืช ืฉืœ ืชื›ื ื•ืŸ ื’ืจื•ืข ื™ื•ืชืจ ืงื•ืจืขื•ืช ืœื‘
02:28
or the opportunity for good design more compelling
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ืื• ื”ื”ื–ื“ืžื ื•ืช ืœืชื›ื ื•ืŸ ื˜ื•ื‘, ื™ื•ืชืจ ื“ื—ื•ืคื”
02:31
than at the end of life,
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ืžืืฉืจ ื‘ืกื•ืฃ ื”ื—ื™ื™ื,
02:33
where things are so distilled and concentrated.
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ืฉื ื“ื‘ืจื™ื ื›ืœ ื›ืš ืžื–ื•ืงืงื™ื ื•ืžืจื•ื›ื–ื™ื.
02:38
There are no do-overs.
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ืื™ืŸ ื”ื–ื“ืžื ื•ืช ืฉื ื™ื™ื”.
02:42
My purpose today is to reach out across disciplines
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ื”ืžื˜ืจื” ืฉืœื™ ื”ื™ื•ื ื”ื™ื ืœืขื‘ื•ืจ ืขืœ ืคื ื™ ืชื—ื•ืžื™ื
02:46
and invite design thinking into this big conversation.
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ื•ืœื”ื–ืžื™ืŸ ื—ืฉื™ื‘ื” ืขื™ืฆื•ื‘ื™ืช ืœืชื•ืš ื”ืฉื™ื—ื” ื”ื’ื“ื•ืœื” ื”ื–ื•.
02:51
That is, to bring intention and creativity
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ื›ืœื•ืžืจ, ืœื”ื‘ื™ื ื›ื•ื•ื ื” ื•ื™ืฆื™ืจืชื™ื•ืช
02:56
to the experience of dying.
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ืœื—ื•ื•ื™ื” ืฉืœ ื”ื ื•ื˜ื” ืœืžื•ืช.
03:01
We have a monumental opportunity in front of us,
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ื™ืฉ ืœื ื• ื”ื–ื“ืžื ื•ืช ืขืฆื•ืžื” ืœืคื ื™ื ื•,
03:05
before one of the few universal issues
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ืœืคื ื™ ืื—ื“ ื”ื ื•ืฉืื™ื ื”ืื•ื ื™ื‘ืจืกืœื™ื™ื ื”ืžืขื˜ื™ื
03:09
as individuals as well as a civil society:
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ื›ื™ื—ื™ื“ื™ื, ื›ืžื• ื’ื ื›ื—ื‘ืจื” ืื–ืจื—ื™ืช:
03:12
to rethink and redesign how it is we die.
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ืœื—ืฉื•ื‘ ืžื—ื“ืฉ ื•ืœืขืฆื‘ ืžื—ื“ืฉ ื›ื™ืฆื“ ืื ื—ื ื• ืžืชื™ื.
03:19
So let's begin at the end.
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ืื– ื‘ื•ืื• ื ืชื—ื™ืœ ื‘ืกื•ืฃ.
03:23
For most people, the scariest thing about death isn't being dead,
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ืœืจื•ื‘ ื”ืื ืฉื™ื ื”ื“ื‘ืจ ื”ืžืคื—ื™ื“ ื‘ื™ื•ืชืจ ืื•ื“ื•ืช ื”ืžื•ื•ืช ืื™ื ื• ืœื”ื™ื•ืช ืžืช.
03:27
it's dying, suffering.
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ื–ื” ืชื”ืœื™ืš ื”ืžื™ืชื”, ื”ืกื‘ืœ.
03:29
It's a key distinction.
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ื–ื• ืื‘ื—ื ืช ืžืคืชื—.
03:32
To get underneath this, it can be very helpful
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ืœื”ื’ื™ืข ืžืชื—ืช ืœื–ื”, ื–ื” ื™ื›ื•ืœ ืœื”ื™ื•ืช ืžืื•ื“ ืžื•ืขื™ืœ
03:34
to tease out suffering which is necessary as it is,
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ืœื”ืคื—ื™ืช ืžื”ืกื‘ืœ ืฉื”ื•ื ื”ื›ืจื—ื™ ื›ืคื™ ืฉื”ื•ื
03:39
from suffering we can change.
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ืžืกื‘ืœ ืฉืื ื—ื ื• ื™ื›ื•ืœื™ื ืœืฉื ื•ืช.
03:42
The former is a natural, essential part of life, part of the deal,
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ื”ืจืืฉื•ืŸ ื”ื•ื ื—ืœืง ื˜ื‘ืขื™ ื•ื—ื™ื•ื ื™ ืฉืœ ื”ื—ื™ื™ื, ื—ืœืง ืžื”ืขืกืงื”,
03:47
and to this we are called to make space, adjust, grow.
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ื•ืœื–ื” ืื ื• ื ืงืจืื™ื ืœืคื ื•ืช ื—ืœืœ, ืœื”ืชืื™ื, ืœื’ื“ื•ืœ.
03:55
It can be really good to realize forces larger than ourselves.
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ื–ื” ื™ื›ื•ืœ ืœื”ื™ื•ืช ืžืžืฉ ื˜ื•ื‘ ืœื”ื‘ื™ืŸ ื›ื•ื—ื•ืช ื’ื“ื•ืœื™ื ื™ื•ืชืจ ืžืืฉืจ ืขืฆืžื ื•.
04:01
They bring proportionality,
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ื”ื ืžื‘ื™ืื™ื ืžื™ื“ืชื™ื•ืช,
04:04
like a cosmic right-sizing.
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ื›ืžื• ืืจื’ื•ืŸ ืžื—ื“ืฉ ืฉืœ ื’ื•ื“ืœ ืงื•ืกืžื™.
04:08
After my limbs were gone,
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ืœืื—ืจ ืฉื”ื’ืคื™ื™ื ืฉืœื™ ื ืขืœืžื•,
04:11
that loss, for example, became fact, fixed --
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ืื‘ื“ื” ื–ื•, ืœื“ื•ื’ืžื” ื”ืคื›ื” ืœืขื•ื‘ื“ื”, ืงื‘ื•ืขื” --
04:15
necessarily part of my life,
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ื‘ื”ื›ืจื— ื—ืœืง ืžื”ื—ื™ื™ื ืฉืœื™,
04:19
and I learned that I could no more reject this fact than reject myself.
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ื•ืœืžื“ืชื™ ืฉืื ื™ ืœื ื™ื›ื•ืœ ื™ื•ืชืจ ืœื“ื—ื•ืช ืขื•ื‘ื“ื” ื–ื• ืžืืฉืจ ืœื“ื—ื•ืช ืืช ืขืฆืžื™.
04:27
It took me a while, but I learned it eventually.
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ื–ื” ืœืงื— ืœื™ ื–ืžืŸ ืžื”, ืื‘ืœ ืœืžื“ืชื™ ืืช ื–ื” ื‘ืกื•ืคื• ืฉืœ ื“ื‘ืจ.
04:30
Now, another great thing about necessary suffering
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ืขื›ืฉื™ื•, ืขื•ื“ ื“ื‘ืจ ื’ื“ื•ืœ ืขืœ ืกื‘ืœ ื”ื›ืจื—ื™
04:33
is that it is the very thing
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ื”ื•ื ืฉื–ื” ื”ื“ื‘ืจ ืžืžืฉ
04:36
that unites caregiver and care receiver --
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ืฉืžืื—ื“ ืืช ื”ืžื˜ืคืœ ื•ื”ืžื˜ื•ืคืœ --
04:41
human beings.
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ื‘ื ื™ ืื“ื.
04:45
This, we are finally realizing, is where healing happens.
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ื–ื”ื•, ืื ื—ื ื• ืกื•ืฃ ืกื•ืฃ ืžื‘ื™ื ื™ื, ื”ื•ื ื”ืžืงื•ื ืฉื‘ื• ืจื™ืคื•ื™ ืงื•ืจื”.
04:49
Yes, compassion -- literally, as we learned yesterday --
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ื›ืŸ, ื—ืžืœื” - ืคืฉื•ื˜ื• ื›ืžืฉืžืขื•, ื›ืคื™ ืฉืœืžื“ื ื• ืืชืžื•ืœ -
04:53
suffering together.
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ืœืกื‘ื•ืœ ื™ื—ื“.
04:56
Now, on the systems side, on the other hand,
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ืขื›ืฉื™ื•, ื‘ืฆื“ ื”ืžืขืจื›ื•ืช, ืžืฆื“ ืฉื ื™,
05:00
so much of the suffering is unnecessary, invented.
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ื›ืœ ื›ืš ื”ืจื‘ื” ืžื”ืกื‘ืœ ื”ื•ื ืžื™ื•ืชืจ, ืžื•ืžืฆื.
05:04
It serves no good purpose.
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ืœื ืžืฉืจืช ืฉื•ื ืžื˜ืจื” ื˜ื•ื‘ื”.
05:06
But the good news is, since this brand of suffering is made up,
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ืื‘ืœ ื”ื—ื“ืฉื•ืช ื”ื˜ื•ื‘ื•ืช ื”ืŸ, ืฉืžืื—ืจ ืฉื”ืžื•ืชื’ ื”ื–ื” ืฉืœ ืกื‘ืœ ื”ื•ื ื‘ื“ื•ื™,
05:10
well, we can change it.
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ืื ื—ื ื• ื™ื›ื•ืœื™ื ืœืฉื ื•ืช ืืช ื–ื”.
05:13
How we die is indeed something we can affect.
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ืื™ืš ืื ื—ื ื• ืžืชื™ื ื”ื•ื ืื›ืŸ ืžืฉื”ื• ืฉืื ื—ื ื• ื™ื›ื•ืœื™ื ืœื”ืฉืคื™ืข ืขืœื™ื•.
05:18
Making the system sensitive to this fundamental distinction
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ืœื”ืคื•ืš ืืช ื”ืžืขืจื›ืช ืจื’ื™ืฉื” ืœื”ื‘ื—ื ื” ื‘ืกื™ืกื™ืช ื–ื•
05:22
between necessary and unnecessary suffering
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ื‘ื™ืŸ ืกื‘ืœ ื”ื›ืจื—ื™ ื•ื‘ืœืชื™ ื”ื›ืจื—ื™
05:25
gives us our first of three design cues for the day.
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ื ื•ืชืŸ ืœื ื• ืืช ื”ืจืืฉื•ืŸ ืžื‘ื™ืŸ ืฉืœื•ืฉืช ื”ืจืžื–ื™ื ืœืชื›ื ื•ืŸ ืœื”ื™ื•ื.
05:30
After all, our role as caregivers, as people who care,
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ืื—ืจื™ ื”ื›ืœ, ืชืคืงื™ื“ื ื• ื›ืžื˜ืคืœื™ื, ื›ืื ืฉื™ื ืฉืื›ืคืช ืœื”ื,
05:34
is to relieve suffering -- not add to the pile.
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ื”ื•ื ืœื”ืงืœ ืขืœ ืกื‘ืœ - ืœื ืœื”ื•ืกื™ืฃ ืœืžืฆื‘ื•ืจ.
05:42
True to the tenets of palliative care,
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ื‘ื”ืชืื ืœืขืงืจื•ื ื•ืช ืฉืœ ื˜ื™ืคื•ืœ ืคืœื™ืื˜ื™ื‘ื™,
05:44
I function as something of a reflective advocate,
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ืื ื™ ืžืชืคืงื“ ื›ืžืฉื”ื• ื‘ื“ื•ืžื” ืœืขื•"ื“ ืจืขื™ื•ื ื™,
05:47
as much as prescribing physician.
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ื‘ืื•ืชื” ืžื™ื“ื” ื›ืจื•ืคื ืฉื ื•ืชืŸ ืžืจืฉืžื™ื.
05:51
Quick aside: palliative care -- a very important field but poorly understood --
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ืื’ื‘: ื˜ื™ืคื•ืœ ืคืœื™ืื˜ื™ื‘ื™ - ื”ื•ื ืชื—ื•ื ื—ืฉื•ื‘ ืžืื•ื“ ืื‘ืœ ืœื ืžื•ื‘ืŸ ื”ื™ื˜ื‘
05:57
while it includes, it is not limited to end of life care.
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ื‘ืขื•ื“ ืฉื”ื•ื ื›ื•ืœืœ ื–ืืช, ื”ื•ื ืื™ื ื• ืžื•ื’ื‘ืœ ืœื˜ื™ืคื•ืœ ืฉืœ ืกื•ืฃ ื”ื—ื™ื™ื.
06:00
It is not limited to hospice.
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ื–ื” ืœื ืžื•ื’ื‘ืœ ืœื”ื•ืกืคื™ืก.
06:02
It's simply about comfort and living well at any stage.
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ื–ื” ืคืฉื•ื˜ ืขืœ ื ื•ื—ื•ืช ื•ืื™ื›ื•ืช ื—ื™ื™ื ื˜ื•ื‘ื” ื‘ื›ืœ ืฉืœื‘.
06:06
So please know that you don't have to be dying anytime soon
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ืื– ื‘ื‘ืงืฉื” ื”ื‘ื™ื ื• ืฉืื™ื ื›ื ืฆืจื™ื›ื™ื ืœื’ืกื•ืก ื‘ืงืจื•ื‘
06:10
to benefit from palliative care.
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ื›ื“ื™ ืœื™ื”ื ื•ืช ืžื˜ื™ืคื•ืœ ืคืœื™ืื˜ื™ื‘ื™
06:13
Now, let me introduce you to Frank.
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ืขื›ืฉื™ื•, ืชื ื• ืœื™ ืœื”ืฆื™ื’ ื‘ืคื ื™ื›ื ืืช ืคืจื ืง.
06:17
Sort of makes this point.
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ื”ื•ื ื“ื•ื’ืžื” ื˜ื•ื‘ื”.
06:19
I've been seeing Frank now for years.
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ืžื–ื” ืฉื ื™ื ืจื‘ื•ืช ืฉืื ื™ ืจื•ืื” ืืช ืคืจื ืง .
06:21
He's living with advancing prostate cancer on top of long-standing HIV.
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ื”ื•ื ื—ื™ ืขื ืกืจื˜ืŸ ืขืจืžื•ื ื™ืช ืžืชืงื“ื ื‘ื ื•ืกืฃ ืœืฉื ื™ื ืจื‘ื•ืช ืขื HIV.
06:26
We work on his bone pain and his fatigue,
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ืื ื• ืขื•ื‘ื“ื™ื ืขืœ ื›ืื‘ื™ ื”ืขืฆืžื•ืช ืฉืœื• ื•ืขืœ ืขื™ื™ืคื•ืชื•,
06:28
but most of the time we spend thinking out loud together about his life --
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ืื‘ืœ ืจื•ื‘ ื”ื–ืžืŸ ืื ื• ืžื‘ืœื™ื ื›ืฉืื ื• ื—ื•ืฉื‘ื™ื ื‘ืงื•ืœ ืจื ื™ื—ื“ ืขืœ ื—ื™ื™ื• -
06:32
really, about our lives.
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ื‘ืขืฆื, ืขืœ ื—ื™ื™ื ื•.
06:35
In this way, Frank grieves.
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ื‘ื“ืจืš ื–ื•, ืคืจื ืง ืžืชืื‘ืœ.
06:37
In this way, he keeps up with his losses as they roll in,
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ื‘ื“ืจืš ื–ื•, ื”ื•ื ืžืชืขืžืช ืขื ืื•ื‘ื“ื ื™ื• ื›ืฉื”ื ืžื•ืคื™ืขื™ื,
06:41
so that he's ready to take in the next moment.
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ื›ืš ืฉื”ื•ื ืžื•ื›ืŸ ืœืงื‘ืœ ืืช ื”ืจื’ืข ื”ื‘ื.
06:45
Loss is one thing, but regret, quite another.
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ืื•ื‘ื“ืŸ ื”ื•ื ื“ื‘ืจ ืื—ื“, ืื‘ืœ ื—ืจื˜ื” ื”ื™ื ื“ื‘ืจ ืื—ืจ ืœื’ืžืจื™
06:51
Frank has always been an adventurer --
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ืคืจื ืง ืชืžื™ื“ ื”ื™ื” ื”ืจืคืชืงืŸ -
06:53
he looks like something out of a Norman Rockwell painting --
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ื”ื•ื ื ืจืื” ื›ืžื• ืžืฉื”ื• ืžืชื•ืš ืฆื™ื•ืจ ืฉืœ ื ื•ืจืžืŸ ืจื•ืงื•ื•ืœ -
06:56
and no fan of regret.
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ื•ืื™ื ื• ืื•ื”ื“ ืฉืœ ื—ืจื˜ื”.
06:58
So it wasn't surprising when he came into clinic one day,
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ืื– ื–ื” ืœื ื”ื™ื” ืžืคืชื™ืข ืฉื”ื•ื ื ื›ื ืก ืœืžืจืคืื” ื™ื•ื ืื—ื“
07:01
saying he wanted to raft down the Colorado River.
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ื•ืืžืจ ืฉื”ื•ื ืจื•ืฆื” ืœืขืฉื•ืช ืจืคื˜ื™ื ื’ ื‘ืžื•ืจื“ ื ื”ืจ ื”ืงื•ืœื•ืจื“ื•.
07:05
Was this a good idea?
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ื”ืื ื–ื” ื”ื™ื” ืจืขื™ื•ืŸ ื˜ื•ื‘?
07:07
With all the risks to his safety and his health, some would say no.
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ืขื ื›ืœ ื”ืกื™ื›ื•ื ื™ื ืœื‘ื˜ื™ื—ื•ืชื• ื•ื‘ืจื™ืื•ืชื•, ื™ืฉ ื›ืืœื” ืฉื™ืืžืจื• ืœื.
07:11
Many did, but he went for it, while he still could.
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ืจื‘ื™ื ืืžืจื•, ืื‘ืœ ื”ื•ื ื”ืœืš ืขืœ ื–ื”, ื‘ื–ืžืŸ ืฉื”ื•ื ืขื“ื™ื™ืŸ ื”ื™ื” ื™ื›ื•ืœ.
07:15
It was a glorious, marvelous trip:
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ื–ื” ื”ื™ื” ื˜ื™ื•ืœ ื ื”ื“ืจ, ื ืคืœื:
07:20
freezing water, blistering dry heat, scorpions, snakes,
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ืžื™ื ืงืคื•ืื™ื, ื—ื•ื ื™ื‘ืฉ ืœื•ื”ื˜, ืขืงืจื‘ื™ื, ื ื—ืฉื™ื,
07:26
wildlife howling off the flaming walls of the Grand Canyon --
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ื—ื™ื•ืช ื‘ืจ ืžื™ื™ืœืœื•ืช ืžื”ืงื™ืจื•ืช ื”ื‘ื•ืขืจื™ื ืฉืœ ื”ื’ืจื ื“ ืงื ื™ื•ืŸ -
07:31
all the glorious side of the world beyond our control.
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ื›ืœ ื”ืฆื“ ื”ืžืคื•ืืจ ืฉืœ ื”ืขื•ืœื ืฉืžืขื‘ืจ ืœืฉืœื™ื˜ืชื ื•.
07:36
Frank's decision, while maybe dramatic,
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ื”ื—ืœื˜ืชื• ืฉืœ ืคืจื ืง, ื‘ืขื•ื“ื” ืื•ืœื™ ื“ืจืžื˜ื™ืช,
07:38
is exactly the kind so many of us would make,
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ื”ื™ื ื‘ื“ื™ื•ืง ืžื”ืกื•ื’ ืฉื›ืœ ื›ืš ื”ืจื‘ื” ืžืืชื ื• ื”ื™ื• ืขื•ืฉื™ื,
07:40
if we only had the support to figure out what is best for ourselves over time.
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ืœื• ืจืง ื”ื™ืชื” ืœื ื• ื”ืชืžื™ื›ื” ื›ื“ื™ ืœื”ื‘ื™ืŸ ืžื” ื”ื›ื™ ื˜ื•ื‘ ื‘ืฉื‘ื™ืœื ื• ืœืื•ืจืš ื–ืžืŸ.
07:49
So much of what we're talking about today is a shift in perspective.
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ื›ืœ ื›ืš ื”ืจื‘ื” ืžืžื” ืฉืื ื• ืžื“ื‘ืจื™ื ืขืœื™ื• ื”ื™ื•ื ื”ื•ื ืฉื™ื ื•ื™ ืฉืœ ื ืงื•ื“ืช ืžื‘ื˜.
07:54
After my accident, when I went back to college,
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ืื—ืจื™ ื”ืชืื•ื ื” ืฉืœื™, ื›ืฉื—ื–ืจืชื™ ืœืžื›ืœืœื”,
07:56
I changed my major to art history.
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ืฉื™ื ื™ืชื™ ืืช ื”ืžืงืฆื•ืข ื”ืขื™ืงืจื™ ืฉืœื™ ืœืชื•ืœื“ื•ืช ืืžื ื•ืช.
08:00
Studying visual art, I figured I'd learn something about how to see --
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ืžืœื™ืžื•ื“ ืืžื ื•ืช ื—ื–ื•ืชื™ืช, ื—ืฉื‘ืชื™ ืืœืžื“ ืžืฉื”ื• ืขืœ ืื™ืš ืœืจืื•ืช-
08:05
a really potent lesson for a kid who couldn't change
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ืฉื™ืขื•ืจ ื‘ืืžืช ื—ื–ืง ื‘ืฉื‘ื™ืœ ื™ืœื“ ืฉืœื ื™ื›ื•ืœ ืœืฉื ื•ืช
08:09
so much of what he was seeing.
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ื›ืœ ื›ืš ื”ืจื‘ื” ืžืžื” ืฉื”ื•ื ืจื•ืื”
08:12
Perspective, that kind of alchemy we humans get to play with,
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ืคืจืกืคืงื˜ื™ื‘ื”, ืกื•ื’ ื–ื” ืฉืœ ืืœื›ื™ืžื™ื” ืฉืื ื•, ื‘ื ื™ ื”ืื“ื ืžืฉื—ืงื™ื ืื™ืชื”,
08:16
turning anguish into a flower.
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ื”ืคื™ื›ืช ื™ื™ืกื•ืจื™ื ืœืคืจื—.
08:21
Flash forward: now I work at an amazing place in San Francisco
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ื”ื‘ื–ืง ืงื“ื™ืžื”: ืขื›ืฉื™ื• ืื ื™ ืขื•ื‘ื“ ื‘ืžืงื•ื ืžื“ื”ื™ื ื‘ืกืŸ ืคืจื ืกื™ืกืงื•
08:25
called the Zen Hospice Project,
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ืฉื ืงืจื ืคืจื•ื™ืงื˜ ื–ืŸ-ื”ื•ืกืคื™ืก
08:28
where we have a little ritual that helps with this shift in perspective.
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ืฉื‘ื• ื™ืฉ ืœื ื• ื˜ื›ืก ืงื˜ืŸ ืฉืขื•ื–ืจ ืขื ื”ืฉื™ื ื•ื™ ื”ื–ื” ืฉืœ ืคืจืกืคืงื˜ื™ื‘ื”.
08:32
When one of our residents dies,
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ื›ืืฉืจ ืื—ื“ ืžื”ื“ื™ื™ืจื™ื ืฉืœื ื• ืžืช,
08:35
the mortuary men come, and as we're wheeling the body out through the garden,
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ื”ืงื‘ืจื ื™ื ื‘ืื™ื, ื•ื›ืฉืื ื• ืžื’ืœื’ืœื™ื ืืช ื”ื’ื•ืคื” ื“ืจืš ื”ื’ืŸ,
08:39
heading for the gate, we pause.
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ื‘ื“ืจืš ืœืฉืขืจ, ืื ื—ื ื• ืขื•ืฆืจื™ื.
08:42
Anyone who wants --
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ื›ืœ ืžื™ ืฉืจื•ืฆื”
08:44
fellow residents, family, nurses, volunteers,
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ื“ื™ื™ืจื™ื, ืžืฉืคื—ื”, ืื—ื™ื•ืช, ืžืชื ื“ื‘ื™ื,
08:46
the hearse drivers too, now --
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ื ื”ื’ื™ ืจื›ื‘ ื”ืงื‘ื•ืจื” ื’ื ื›ืŸ, ืขื›ืฉื™ื• --
08:49
shares a story or a song or silence,
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ื—ื•ืœืงื™ื ืกื™ืคื•ืจ, ืื• ืฉื™ืจ, ืื• ืฉืชื™ืงื”,
08:53
as we sprinkle the body with flower petals.
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ื›ืฉืื ื• ืžืคื–ืจื™ื ืขืœ ื”ื’ื•ืคื” ืขืœื™ ื›ื•ืชืจืช ืฉืœ ืคืจื—ื™ื.
08:57
It takes a few minutes;
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ื–ื” ืœื•ืงื— ื›ืžื” ื“ืงื•ืช;
08:59
it's a sweet, simple parting image to usher in grief with warmth,
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ื–ื” ืชืžื•ื ืช ืคืจื™ื“ื” ืคืฉื•ื˜ื”, ืžืชื•ืงื”, ืœื”ื•ื‘ื™ืœ ื‘ืฆืขืจ, ื‘ื—ืžื™ืžื•ืช,
09:04
rather than repugnance.
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ื•ืœื ื‘ืกืœื™ื“ื”.
09:08
Contrast that with the typical experience in the hospital setting,
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ื”ืฉื•ื• ื–ืืช ืขื ื”ื—ื•ื•ื™ื” ื”ื˜ื™ืคื•ืกื™ืช ื‘ืžืกื’ืจืช ื‘ื™ืช ื—ื•ืœื™ื,
09:13
much like this -- floodlit room lined with tubes and beeping machines
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ืœืขื™ืชื™ื ืงืจื•ื‘ื•ืช - ื—ื“ืจ ืžื•ืืจ, ืขื ืฆื™ื ื•ืจื•ืช ื•ืžื›ื•ื ื•ืช ืžืฆืคืฆืคื•ืช
09:18
and blinking lights that don't stop even when the patient's life has.
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ื•ืื•ืจื•ืช ืžื”ื‘ื”ื‘ื™ื ืฉืœื ืžืคืกื™ืงื™ื ื’ื ื›ืฉื—ื™ื™ื• ืฉืœ ื”ืžื˜ื•ืคืœ ืคืกืงื•.
09:23
Cleaning crew swoops in, the body's whisked away,
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ืฆื•ื•ืช ื ื™ืงื•ื™ ืžืกืชืขืจ ืคื ื™ืžื”, ื”ื’ื•ืคื” ื ืœืงื—ืช ืžืฉื.
09:26
and it all feels as though that person had never really existed.
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ื•ื›ืœ ื–ื” ืžืจื’ื™ืฉ ื›ืื™ืœื• ืื“ื ื–ื” ืืฃ ืคืขื ืœื ื”ื™ื” ืงื™ื™ื ื‘ืืžืช
09:33
Well-intended, of course, in the name of sterility,
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ื‘ื›ื•ื•ื ื” ื˜ื•ื‘ื” ื›ืžื•ื‘ืŸ, ื‘ืฉื ื”ืกื˜ืจื™ืœื™ื•ืช,
09:35
but hospitals tend to assault our senses,
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ืื‘ืœ ื‘ืชื™ ื—ื•ืœื™ื ื ื•ื˜ื™ื ืœืชืงื•ืฃ ืืช ื”ื—ื•ืฉื™ื ืฉืœื ื•,
09:39
and the most we might hope for within those walls is numbness --
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ื•ื”ื›ื™ ื”ืจื‘ื” ืฉืื ื—ื ื• ืขืฉื•ื™ื™ื ืœืงื•ื•ืช ืœื• ื‘ืชื•ืš ืงื™ืจื•ืช ืืœื• ื–ื” ื—ื•ืกืจ ืชื—ื•ืฉื” --
09:44
anesthetic, literally the opposite of aesthetic.
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ืื ืกืชื–ื™ื” (ื”ืจื“ืžื”) ื”ื™ื ื”ื”ืคืš ืžืืกืชื˜ื™ืงื”.
09:50
I revere hospitals for what they can do; I am alive because of them.
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ืื ื™ ืžืขืจื™ืฅ ืืช ื‘ืชื™ ื”ื—ื•ืœื™ื ื‘ืฉืœ ืžื” ืฉื”ื ื™ื›ื•ืœื™ื ืœืขืฉื•ืช; ืื ื™ ื—ื™ ื‘ื–ื›ื•ืชื.
09:56
But we ask too much of our hospitals.
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ืื‘ืœ ืื ื• ืžื‘ืงืฉื™ื ื™ื•ืชืจ ืžื“ื™ ืžื‘ืชื™ ื”ื—ื•ืœื™ื ืฉืœื ื•
09:59
They are places for acute trauma and treatable illness.
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ื”ื ืžืงื•ืžื•ืช ืœื˜ืจืื•ืžื” ื—ืจื™ืคื” ื•ืžื—ืœื” ืฉื ื™ืชืŸ ืœื˜ืคืœ ื‘ื”.
10:03
They are no place to live and die; that's not what they were designed for.
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ื”ื ืœื ืžืงื•ื ื›ื“ื™ ืœื—ื™ื•ืช ื•ืœืžื•ืช; ื–ื” ืœื ืžื” ืฉื”ื ื ื•ืขื“ื• ืœื•.
10:10
Now mind you -- I am not giving up on the notion
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ื›ืขืช, ืฉื™ืžื• ืœื‘ -- ืื ื™ ืœื ืžื•ื•ืชืจ ืขืœ ื”ืจืขื™ื•ืŸ
10:12
that our institutions can become more humane.
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ืฉื”ืžื•ืกื“ื•ืช ืฉืœื ื• ื™ื›ื•ืœื™ื ืœื”ื™ื•ืช ื™ื•ืชืจ ืื ื•ืฉื™ื™ื.
10:16
Beauty can be found anywhere.
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ื™ื•ืคื™ ื ื™ืชืŸ ืœืžืฆื•ื ื‘ื›ืœ ืžืงื•ื .
10:21
I spent a few months in a burn unit
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ื‘ื™ืœื™ืชื™ ื›ืžื” ื—ื•ื“ืฉื™ื ื‘ื™ื—ื™ื“ืช ื›ื•ื•ื™ื•ืช
10:23
at St. Barnabas Hospital in Livingston, New Jersey,
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ื‘ื‘ื™ืช ื—ื•ืœื™ื ืกื˜. ื‘ืจื ื‘ืก, ื‘ืœื™ื•ื•ื ื’ืกื˜ื•ืŸ, ื ื™ื• ื’'ืจืกื™,
10:26
where I got really great care at every turn,
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ืฉื‘ื• ื–ื›ื™ืชื™ ืœื˜ื™ืคื•ืœ ื ืคืœื ื‘ื›ืœ ืฆืขื“ ื•ืฉืขืœ,
10:30
including good palliative care for my pain.
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ื›ื•ืœืœ ื˜ื™ืคื•ืœ ืคืœื™ืื˜ื™ื‘ื™ ื˜ื•ื‘ ื‘ื›ืื‘ ืฉืœื™.
10:33
And one night, it began to snow outside.
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ื•ืœื™ืœื” ืื—ื“, ื”ืชื—ื™ืœ ืœืจื“ืช ืฉืœื’ ื‘ื—ื•ืฅ.
10:37
I remember my nurses complaining about driving through it.
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ืื ื™ ื–ื•ื›ืจ ืืช ื”ืื—ื™ื•ืช ืฉืœื™ ืžืชืœื•ื ื ื•ืช ืขืœ ื”ื ื”ื™ื’ื” ื‘ื“ืจืš.
10:42
And there was no window in my room,
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ื•ืœื ื”ื™ื” ืฉื•ื ื—ืœื•ืŸ ื‘ื—ื“ืจ ืฉืœื™,
10:44
but it was great to just imagine it coming down all sticky.
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ืื‘ืœ ื”ื™ื” ื ื”ื“ืจ, ืจืง ืœื“ืžื™ื™ืŸ ืืช ื–ื” ื™ื•ืจื“ ื“ื‘ื™ืง ื›ื•ืœื•.
10:49
Next day, one of my nurses smuggled in a snowball for me.
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ืœืžื—ืจืช, ืื—ืช ืžื”ืื—ื™ื•ืช ืฉืœื™ ื”ื‘ืจื™ื—ื” ืคื ื™ืžื” ื›ื“ื•ืจ ืฉืœื’ ื‘ืฉื‘ื™ืœื™.
10:53
She brought it in to the unit.
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ื”ื™ื ื”ื‘ื™ืื” ืื•ืชื• ืœื™ื—ื™ื“ื”.
10:56
I cannot tell you the rapture I felt holding that in my hand,
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ืื ื™ ืœื ื™ื›ื•ืœ ืœืชืืจ ืœื›ื ืืช ื”ื”ืชืœื”ื‘ื•ืช ืฉื”ืจื’ืฉืชื™ ืœื”ื—ื–ื™ืง ืืช ื–ื”,
11:02
and the coldness dripping onto my burning skin;
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ื•ื”ืงื•ืจ ื ื•ื˜ืฃ ืขืœ ื”ืขื•ืจ ื”ื‘ื•ืขืจ ืฉืœื™;
11:05
the miracle of it all,
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ื”ืคืœื ืฉืœ ื›ืœ ื–ื”,
11:07
the fascination as I watched it melt and turn into water.
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ื”ืงืกื ื›ืฉื”ืกืชื›ืœืชื™ ืขืœื™ื• ื ืžืก ื•ื”ื•ืคืš ืœืžื™ื.
11:15
In that moment,
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ื‘ืื•ืชื• ืจื’ืข,
11:17
just being any part of this planet in this universe mattered more to me
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ืคืฉื•ื˜ ืœื”ื™ื•ืช ื›ืœ ื—ืœืง ืฉืœ ื›ื“ื•ืจ ืืจืฅ ื‘ื™ืงื•ื ื”ื–ื” ื”ื™ื” ื—ืฉื•ื‘ ืœื™ ื™ื•ืชืจ
11:21
than whether I lived or died.
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ืžืืฉืจ ืœื—ื™ื•ืช ืื• ืœืžื•ืช.
11:24
That little snowball packed all the inspiration I needed
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ื›ื“ื•ืจ ืฉืœื’ ืงื˜ืŸ ื–ื” ื”ื›ื™ืœ ื‘ืชื•ื›ื• ืืช ื›ืœ ื”ื”ืฉืจืื” ืฉื”ื™ื™ืชื™ ืฆืจื™ืš
11:27
to both try to live and be OK if I did not.
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ื”ืŸ ืœื ืกื•ืช ืœื—ื™ื•ืช ื•ืœื”ื™ื•ืช ื‘ืกื“ืจ ืื ืœื.
11:31
In a hospital, that's a stolen moment.
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ื‘ื‘ื™ืช ื—ื•ืœื™ื ื–ื” ืจื’ืข ื’ื ื•ื‘.
11:36
In my work over the years, I've known many people
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ื‘ืขื‘ื•ื“ืชื™ ื‘ืžืฉืš ื”ืฉื ื™ื, ื”ื›ืจืชื™ ื”ืจื‘ื” ืื ืฉื™ื
11:39
who were ready to go, ready to die.
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ืฉื”ื™ื• ืžื•ื›ื ื™ื ืœืœื›ืช, ืžื•ื›ื ื™ื ืœืžื•ืช.
11:43
Not because they had found some final peace or transcendence,
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ืœื ื‘ื’ืœืœ ืฉื”ื ืžืฆืื• ืงืฆืช ืฉืงื˜ ืื• ื—ืฉื• ื”ืชืขืœื•ืช ืกื•ืคื™ืช,
11:47
but because they were so repulsed by what their lives had become --
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ืืœื ื‘ื’ืœืœ ืฉื”ื ื—ืฉื• ืฉื—ื™ื™ื”ื ื”ืคื›ื• ื“ื•ื—ื™ื
11:54
in a word, cut off, or ugly.
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ื‘ืžื™ืœื” ืื—ืช, ืžื ื•ืชืงื™ื, ืื• ืžื›ื•ืขืจื™ื
12:03
There are already record numbers of us living with chronic and terminal illness,
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ื™ืฉ ืœื ื• ื›ื‘ืจ ืžืกืคืจ ืฉื™ื ืฉืœ ืื ืฉื™ื ืฉื—ื™ื™ื ืขื ืžื—ืœื” ื›ืจื•ื ื™ืช ืื• ืกื•ืคื ื™ืช
12:09
and into ever older age.
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ืขื“ ืœื’ื™ืœ ืžืžืฉ ืžื‘ื•ื’ืจ.
12:11
And we are nowhere near ready or prepared for this silver tsunami.
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ื•ืื ื—ื ื• ืœื ืžืชืงืจื‘ื™ื ืœื”ื™ื•ืช ืžื•ื›ื ื™ื ืœืฆื•ื ืืžื™ ื”ื›ืกื•ืฃ ื”ื–ื”.
12:19
We need an infrastructure dynamic enough to handle
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ืื ื—ื ื• ืฆืจื™ื›ื™ื ืชืฉืชื™ืช ืžืกืคื™ืง ื“ื™ื ืžื™ืช ื›ื“ื™ ืœื”ืชืžื•ื“ื“ ืขื
12:22
these seismic shifts in our population.
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ืชื ื•ื“ื•ืช ืกื™ื™ืกืžื™ื•ืช ืืœื” ื‘ืื•ื›ืœื•ืกื™ื™ื” ืฉืœื ื•.
12:27
Now is the time to create something new, something vital.
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ืขื›ืฉื™ื• ื–ื” ื”ื–ืžืŸ ืœื™ืฆื•ืจ ืžืฉื”ื• ื—ื“ืฉ, ืžืฉื”ื• ื ืžืจืฅ.
12:30
I know we can because we have to.
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ืื ื™ ื™ื•ื“ืข ืฉืื ื—ื ื• ื™ื›ื•ืœื™ื, ื›ื™ ืื ื—ื ื• ื—ื™ื™ื‘ื™ื.
12:33
The alternative is just unacceptable.
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ื”ืืœื˜ืจื ื˜ื™ื‘ื” ื”ื™ื ืคืฉื•ื˜ ื‘ืœืชื™ ืžืชืงื‘ืœืช ืขืœ ื”ื“ืขืช
12:35
And the key ingredients are known:
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ื•ื”ืžืจื›ื™ื‘ื™ื ื”ืขื™ืงืจื™ื™ื ื™ื“ื•ืขื™ื:
12:37
policy, education and training,
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ืžื“ื™ื ื™ื•ืช, ื—ื™ื ื•ืš ื•ื”ื“ืจื›ื”,
12:41
systems, bricks and mortar.
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ืžืขืจื›ื•ืช, ืœื‘ื ื™ื ื•ืžืœื˜.
12:44
We have tons of input for designers of all stripes to work with.
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ื™ืฉ ืœื ื• ื˜ื•ื ื•ืช ืฉืœ ืงืœื˜ ืขื‘ื•ืจ ืžืชื›ื ื ื™ื ืžื›ืœ ื”ืกื•ื’ื™ื ื›ื“ื™ ืœืขื‘ื•ื“ ืื™ืชื•.
12:49
We know, for example, from research
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ืื ื—ื ื• ื™ื•ื“ืขื™ื, ืœืžืฉืœ, ืžืžื—ืงืจ
12:51
what's most important to people who are closer to death:
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ืฉืžื” ืฉื”ื›ื™ ื—ืฉื•ื‘ ืœืื ืฉื™ื ืฉื ื•ื˜ื™ื ืœืžื•ืช:
12:54
comfort; feeling unburdened and unburdening to those they love;
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ื ื•ื—ื•ืช: ืชื—ื•ืฉืช ืฉื—ืจื•ืจ ืžืขื•ืžืก ืžืืœื” ืฉื”ื ืื•ื”ื‘ื™ื, ื•ื›ืœืคื™ื”ื;
13:01
existential peace; and a sense of wonderment and spirituality.
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ืฉืœื•ื•ื” ืงื™ื•ืžื™ืช; ื•ืชื—ื•ืฉื” ืฉืœ ืคืœื™ืื” ื•ืจื•ื—ื ื™ื•ืช.
13:08
Over Zen Hospice's nearly 30 years,
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ื‘ืžื”ืœืš 30 ื”ืฉื ื™ื ื›ืžืขื˜ ืฉืœ ื–ืŸ ื”ื•ืกืคื™ืก,
13:12
we've learned much more from our residents in subtle detail.
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ืœืžื“ื ื• ื”ืจื‘ื” ื™ื•ืชืจ ืžื”ื“ื™ื™ืจื™ื ืฉืœื ื• ื‘ืคื™ืจื•ื˜ ืžืขื•ื“ืŸ.
13:17
Little things aren't so little.
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ื“ื‘ืจื™ื ืงื˜ื ื™ื ื”ื ืœื ื›ืœ ื›ืš ืงื˜ื ื™ื.
13:21
Take Janette.
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ืงื—ื• ืืช ื’'ื ื˜,
13:22
She finds it harder to breathe one day to the next due to ALS.
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ืžื™ื•ื ืื—ื“ ืœืžืฉื ื”ื• ืงืฉื” ืœื” ื™ื•ืชืจ ืœื ืฉื•ื ื‘ืฉืœ ALS.
13:26
Well, guess what?
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ื•ื‘ื›ืŸ, ื ื—ืฉื• ืžื”?
13:28
She wants to start smoking again --
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ื”ื™ื ืจื•ืฆื” ืœื”ืชื—ื™ืœ ืœืขืฉืŸ ืฉื•ื‘ -
13:31
and French cigarettes, if you please.
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ื•ืกื™ื’ืจื™ื•ืช ืฆืจืคืชื™ื•ืช, ืื ืœื ืื›ืคืช ืœื›ื.
13:36
Not out of some self-destructive bent,
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ืœื ื‘ื›ืคื•ืฃ ืœื”ืจืก ืขืฆืžื™,
13:39
but to feel her lungs filled while she has them.
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ืืœื ื›ื“ื™ ืœื”ืจื’ื™ืฉ ืฉืจื™ืื•ืชื™ื” ืžืชืžืœืื•ืช ื›ืœ ืขื•ื“ ื™ืฉ ืœื” ืื•ืชืŸ.
13:44
Priorities change.
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ืกื“ืจื™ ืขื“ื™ืคื•ื™ื•ืช ืžืฉืชื ื™ื.
13:47
Or Kate -- she just wants to know
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ืื• ืงื™ื™ื˜ - ื”ื™ื ืจืง ืจื•ืฆื” ืœื“ืขืช
13:50
her dog Austin is lying at the foot of her bed,
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ืฉื”ื›ืœื‘ ืฉืœื” ืื•ืกื˜ื™ืŸ ืจื•ื‘ืฅ ืœืžืจื’ืœื•ืช ืžื™ื˜ืชื”,
13:54
his cold muzzle against her dry skin,
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ื—ืจื˜ื•ืžื• ื”ืงืจ ืขืœ ืขื•ืจื” ื”ื™ื‘ืฉ,
13:57
instead of more chemotherapy coursing through her veins --
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ื‘ืžืงื•ื ืฉื™ื•ืชืจ ื›ื™ืžื•ืชืจืคื™ื” ืชื–ืจื•ื ื‘ื•ื•ืจื™ื“ื™ื ืฉืœื”
14:00
she's done that.
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ื”ื™ื ืขืฉืชื” ืืช ื–ื”
14:02
Sensuous, aesthetic gratification, where in a moment, in an instant,
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ืกื™ืคื•ืง ื—ื•ืฉื ื™, ืืกืชื˜ื™, ืฉื‘ื• ื‘ืจื’ืข, ื‘ืจื’ืข, ื‘ื”ืจืฃ ืขื™ืŸ
14:07
we are rewarded for just being.
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ืื ื—ื ื• ืžืชื•ื’ืžืœื™ื ืขื‘ื•ืจ ืคืฉื•ื˜ ืœื”ื™ื•ืช.
14:15
So much of it comes down to loving our time by way of the senses,
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ื›ืœ ื›ืš ื”ืจื‘ื” ืžื–ื” ืžื’ื™ืข ืœื›ื“ื™ ืื”ื‘ื” ืœื–ืžืŸ ืฉืœื ื• ื‘ื“ืจืš ืฉืœ ื”ื—ื•ืฉื™ื,
14:19
by way of the body -- the very thing doing the living and the dying.
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ื“ืจืš ื”ื’ื•ืฃ, ื”ื“ื‘ืจ ืขืฆืžื• ืฉืขื•ืฉื” ืืช ื”ื—ื™ื™ื ื•ื”ืžืชื™ื.
14:26
Probably the most poignant room
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ืื•ืœื™ ื”ื—ื“ืจ ื”ื›ื™ ื‘ื•ืœื˜
14:27
in the Zen Hospice guest house is our kitchen,
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ื‘ื‘ื™ืช ื”ื”ืืจื—ื” ืฉืœ ื”ื–ืŸ-ื”ื•ืกืคื™ืก ื”ื•ื ื”ืžื˜ื‘ื— ืฉืœื ื•,
14:30
which is a little strange when you realize
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ืฉื–ื” ืงืฆืช ืžื•ื–ืจ ื›ืืฉืจ ืืชื ืžื‘ื™ื ื™ื
14:32
that so many of our residents can eat very little, if anything at all.
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ืฉื›ื” ืจื‘ื™ื ืžื”ื“ื™ื™ืจื™ื ืฉืœื ื• ื™ื›ื•ืœื™ื ืœืื›ื•ืœ ืžืขื˜ ืžืื•ื“, ืื ื‘ื›ืœืœ
14:36
But we realize we are providing sustenance on several levels:
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ืื‘ืœ ืื ื—ื ื• ืžื‘ื™ื ื™ื ืฉืื ื—ื ื• ืžืกืคืงื™ื ืžื–ื•ืŸ ื‘ื›ืžื” ืจืžื•ืช:
14:41
smell, a symbolic plane.
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ืจื™ื—, ืžื™ืฉื•ืจ ืกืžืœื™.
14:46
Seriously, with all the heavy-duty stuff happening under our roof,
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ื‘ืจืฆื™ื ื•ืช, ืขื ื›ืœ ื”ื“ื‘ืจื™ื ื”ื›ื‘ื“ื™ื ืฉืงื•ืจื™ื ืชื—ืช ืงื•ืจืช ื”ื’ื’ ืฉืœื ื•,
14:51
one of the most tried and true interventions we know of,
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ืื—ืช ื”ื”ืชืขืจื‘ื•ื™ื•ืช ืฉื ื•ืกื• ื•ื ื—ื•ื• ื”ื›ื™ ื”ืจื‘ื”
14:55
is to bake cookies.
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ื”ื™ื ืœืืคื•ืช ืขื•ื’ื™ื•ืช.
15:10
As long as we have our senses --
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ื›ืœ ืขื•ื“ ื™ืฉ ืœื ื• ืืช ื”ื—ื•ืฉื™ื ืฉืœื ื•
15:11
even just one --
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ืืคื™ืœื• ืจืง ืื—ื“ -
15:13
we have at least the possibility of accessing
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ื™ืฉ ืœื ื• ืœืคื—ื•ืช ืืช ื”ืืคืฉืจื•ืช ืœื’ื™ืฉื”
15:17
what makes us feel human, connected.
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ืžื” ืฉื’ื•ืจื ืœื ื• ืœื”ืจื’ื™ืฉ ืื ื•ืฉื™ื™ื, ืžื—ื•ื‘ืจื™ื.
15:22
Imagine the ripples of this notion
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ืชืืจื• ืœืขืฆืžื›ื ืืช ื”ืื“ื•ื•ืช ืฉืœ ืจืขื™ื•ืŸ ื–ื”
15:25
for the millions of people living and dying with dementia.
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ืขื‘ื•ืจ ืžื™ืœื™ื•ื ื™ ืื ืฉื™ื ืฉื—ื™ื™ื ื•ืžืชื™ื ืขื ื“ืžื ืฆื™ื”.
15:29
Primal sensorial delights that say the things we don't have words for,
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ืชืขื ื•ื’ื•ืช ื—ื•ืฉื™ื™ื ืจืืฉื•ื ื™ื™ื ืฉืื•ืžืจื™ื ืืช ื”ื“ื‘ืจื™ื ืฉืื™ืŸ ืœื ื• ืžื™ืœื™ื ืขื‘ื•ืจืŸ,
15:33
impulses that make us stay present --
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ื“ื—ืคื™ื ืฉื’ื•ืจืžื™ื ืœื ื• ืœื”ื™ืฉืืจ ื‘ื”ื•ื•ื” -
15:36
no need for a past or a future.
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ืื™ืŸ ืฆื•ืจืš ื‘ืขื‘ืจ ืื• ื‘ืขืชื™ื“.
15:42
So, if teasing unnecessary suffering out of the system was our first design cue,
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ืœื›ืŸ, ืื ืกื™ืœื•ืง ืกื‘ืœ ืžื™ื•ืชืจ ื”ื—ื•ืฆื” ืžื”ืžืขืจื›ืช ื”ื™ื” ืื•ืช ื”ืชื›ื ื•ืŸ ื”ืจืืฉื•ืŸ ืฉืœื ื•,
15:50
then tending to dignity by way of the senses,
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ืื– ื˜ื™ืคื•ืœ ื‘ื›ื‘ื•ื“ ื‘ืืžืฆืขื•ืช ื”ื—ื•ืฉื™ื,
15:53
by way of the body -- the aesthetic realm --
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ื‘ื“ืจืš ืฉืœ ื”ื’ื•ืฃ - ื‘ืชื—ื•ื ื”ืืกืชื˜ื™ -
15:57
is design cue number two.
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ื”ื•ื ืชื• ืชื›ื ื•ืŸ ืžืกืคืจ ืฉื ื™ื™ื.
15:59
Now this gets us quickly to the third and final bit for today;
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ืขื›ืฉื™ื• ื–ื” ืžื‘ื™ื ืื•ืชื ื• ื‘ืžื”ื™ืจื•ืช ืœืฉืœื™ืฉื™ ื•ื”ืื—ืจื•ืŸ ืœื”ื™ื•ื;
16:03
namely, we need to lift our sights, to set our sights on well-being,
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ื›ืœื•ืžืจ, ืื ื—ื ื• ืฆืจื™ื›ื™ื ืœื”ืจื™ื ืืช ื˜ื•ื•ื— ื”ืจืื™ื™ื” ืฉืœื ื•, ืœื”ืคื ื•ืช ืืช ื”ืจืื™ื™ื” ืฉืœื ื• ืœืจื•ื•ื—ื”,
16:10
so that life and health and healthcare
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ื›ืš ืฉื”ื—ื™ื™ื ื”ื‘ืจื™ืื•ืช ื•ืžืขืจื›ืช ื”ื‘ืจื™ืื•ืช
16:13
can become about making life more wonderful,
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ื™ื›ื•ืœื™ื ืœื”ื™ื•ืช ืขืœ ืขืฉื™ื™ืช ื—ื™ื™ื ื ืคืœืื™ื ื™ื•ืชืจ,
16:16
rather than just less horrible.
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ื•ืœื ืจืง ื ื•ืจืื™ื ืคื—ื•ืช.
16:20
Beneficence.
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ื—ืกื“.
16:22
Here, this gets right at the distinction
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ื›ืืŸ ื–ื” ืžื’ื™ืข ืžืžืฉ ืœื”ื‘ื—ื ื”
16:25
between a disease-centered and a patient- or human-centered model of care,
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ื‘ื™ืŸ ืžื•ื“ืœ ื˜ื™ืคื•ืœ ืžืžื•ืงื“ ื‘ืžื—ืœื” ืื• ื‘ืžื˜ื•ืคืœ, ืžื•ื“ืœ ื˜ื™ืคื•ืœ ืžืžื•ืงื“ ื‘ืื“ื
16:30
and here is where caring becomes a creative, generative,
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ื•ื›ืืŸ ื”ืžืงื•ื ืฉื‘ื• ื˜ื™ืคื•ืœ ื”ื•ืคืš ืœืคืขื•ืœื” ื™ืฆื™ืจืชื™ืช, ืžื—ื•ืœืœืช,
16:33
even playful act.
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ืืคื™ืœื• ืžืขืฉื” ืฉื•ื‘ื‘ื ื™.
16:36
"Play" may sound like a funny word here.
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"ืฉื•ื‘ื‘ื ื™" ืื•ืœื™ ื ืฉืžืข ื›ืžื• ืžื™ืœื” ืžืฆื—ื™ืงื” ื›ืืŸ.
16:39
But it is also one of our highest forms of adaptation.
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ืื‘ืœ ื–ื” ื’ื ืื—ืช ื”ืฆื•ืจื•ืช ื”ื’ื‘ื•ื”ื•ืช ื‘ื™ื•ืชืจ ืฉืœ ื”ืกืชื’ืœื•ืช.
16:42
Consider every major compulsory effort it takes to be human.
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ืฉืงืœื• ื›ืœ ืžืืžืฅ ื—ื•ื‘ื” ื’ื“ื•ืœ ืฉื ื“ืจืฉ ื›ื“ื™ ืœื”ื™ื•ืช ืื ื•ืฉื™.
16:47
The need for food has birthed cuisine.
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ื”ืฆื•ืจืš ื‘ืžื–ื•ืŸ ื”ื•ืœื™ื“ ืืช ื”ืžื˜ื‘ื—.
16:49
The need for shelter has given rise to architecture.
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ื”ืฆื•ืจืš ื‘ืžืงืœื˜ ืคื™ืชื— ืืช ื”ืืจื›ื™ื˜ืงื˜ื•ืจื”.
16:52
The need for cover, fashion.
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ื”ืฆื•ืจืš ื‘ื›ืกื•ืช, ืื•ืคื ื”.
16:54
And for being subjected to the clock,
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ื•ื›ื“ื™ ืœื”ื™ื•ืช ื›ืคื•ืคื™ื ืœืฉืขื•ืŸ,
16:57
well, we invented music.
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ื˜ื•ื‘, ื”ืžืฆืื ื• ืžื•ืกื™ืงื”.
17:03
So, since dying is a necessary part of life,
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ืœื›ืŸ, ืžืื—ืจ ื•ื”ืžื•ื•ืช ื”ื•ื ื—ืœืง ื”ื›ืจื—ื™ ืฉืœ ื”ื—ื™ื™ื,
17:06
what might we create with this fact?
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ืžื” ืื ื• ืขืฉื•ื™ื™ื ืœื™ืฆื•ืจ ืขื ืขื•ื‘ื“ื” ื–ื•?
17:12
By "play" I am in no way suggesting we take a light approach to dying
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ื‘"ืฉื•ื‘ื‘ื ื•ืช" ืื ื™ ื‘ืฉื•ื ืื•ืคืŸ ืœื ืจื•ืžื– ืฉืื ื• ื ื•ืงื˜ื™ื ื‘ื’ื™ืฉื” ืงืœื” ืœืžื•ื•ืช
17:15
or that we mandate any particular way of dying.
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ืื• ืฉืื ื—ื ื• ื ื•ืชื ื™ื ืžื ื“ื˜ ืœื›ืœ ื“ืจืš ืžืกื•ื™ืžืช ืฉืœ ืžื™ืชื”.
17:18
There are mountains of sorrow that cannot move,
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ื™ืฉ ื”ืจื™ื ืฉืœ ืฆืขืจ ืฉืœื ื™ื›ื•ืœ ืœื–ื•ื–,
17:20
and one way or another, we will all kneel there.
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ื•ื‘ื“ืจืš ื–ื• ืื• ืื—ืจืช, ื›ื•ืœื ื• ื›ื•ืจืขื™ื ื‘ืจืš ืฉื.
17:24
Rather, I am asking that we make space --
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ื‘ืžืงื•ื ื–ืืช, ืื ื™ ืžื‘ืงืฉ ืฉื ื™ืฆื•ืจ ื—ืœืœ -
17:28
physical, psychic room, to allow life to play itself all the way out --
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ื—ื“ืจ ืคื™ื–ื™, ื ืคืฉื™, ื›ื“ื™ ืœืืคืฉืจ ืœื—ื™ื™ื, ืœืฉื—ืง ืืช ืขืฆืžื ื›ืœ ื”ื“ืจืš ื”ื—ื•ืฆื” --
17:34
so that rather than just getting out of the way,
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ื›ืš ืฉืœื ืจืง ืคืฉื•ื˜ ืœืฆืืช ืžื”ื“ืจืš,
17:37
aging and dying can become a process of crescendo through to the end.
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ื”ื–ื“ืงื ื•ืช ื•ืžื•ื•ืช ื™ื›ื•ืœื™ื ืœื”ื™ื•ืช ืชื”ืœื™ืš ืฉืœ ืงืจืฉื ื“ื• ืขื“ ื”ืกื•ืฃ.
17:44
We can't solve for death.
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ืื™ื ื ื• ื™ื›ื•ืœื™ื ืœืคืชื•ืจ ืืช ื”ืžื•ื•ืช.
17:50
I know some of you are working on this.
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ืื ื™ ื™ื•ื“ืข ืฉื›ืžื” ืžื›ื ืขื•ื‘ื“ื™ื ืขืœ ื–ื”.
17:52
(Laughter)
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(ืฆื—ื•ืง)
17:57
Meanwhile, we can --
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ื‘ื™ื ืชื™ื™ื, ืื ื—ื ื• ื™ื›ื•ืœื™ื -
17:58
(Laughter)
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(ืฆื—ื•ืง)
18:00
We can design towards it.
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ืื ื• ื™ื›ื•ืœื™ื ืœืชื›ื ืŸ ืœืงืจืืชื•.
18:04
Parts of me died early on,
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ื—ืœืงื™ื ืžืžื ื™ ืžืชื• ื‘ืฉืœื‘ ืžื•ืงื“ื,
18:05
and that's something we can all say one way or another.
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ื•ื–ื” ืžืฉื”ื• ืฉื›ื•ืœื ื• ื™ื›ื•ืœื™ื ืœื•ืžืจ ื‘ื“ืจืš ื–ื• ืื• ืื—ืจืช.
18:08
I got to redesign my life around this fact,
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ื”ื™ื” ืขืœื™ ืœืขืฆื‘ ืžื—ื“ืฉ ืืช ื—ื™ื™ ืกื‘ื™ื‘ ืขื•ื‘ื“ื” ื–ื•,
18:11
and I tell you it has been a liberation
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ื•ืื ื™ ืื•ืžืจ ืœื›ื ืฉื–ื” ื”ื™ื” ืฉื—ืจื•ืจ
18:14
to realize you can always find a shock of beauty or meaning
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ืœื”ื‘ื™ืŸ ืฉืชืžื™ื“ ืืชื ื™ื›ื•ืœื™ื ืœืžืฆื•ื ื”ืœื ืฉืœ ื™ื•ืคื™ ืื• ืžืฉืžืขื•ืช
18:17
in what life you have left,
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ื‘ื—ื™ื™ื ืฉืขื•ื“ ื ื•ืชืจื• ืœื›ื,
18:20
like that snowball lasting for a perfect moment,
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ื›ืžื• ื›ื“ื•ืจ ื”ืฉืœื’ ืฉืฉืจื“ ืœืจื’ืข ืžื•ืฉืœื,
18:22
all the while melting away.
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ื‘ืขื•ื“ ื”ื•ื ื ืžืก ืœื•.
18:26
If we love such moments ferociously,
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ืื ืื ื—ื ื• ืื•ื”ื‘ื™ื ืจื’ืขื™ื ื›ืืœื” ื‘ืขื•ื–,
18:32
then maybe we can learn to live well --
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ืื– ืื•ืœื™ ืื ื—ื ื• ื™ื›ื•ืœื™ื ืœืœืžื•ื“ ื’ื ืœื—ื™ื•ืช ื˜ื•ื‘ -
18:35
not in spite of death,
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ืœื ืœืžืจื•ืช ื”ืžื•ื•ืช,
18:37
but because of it.
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ืืœื ื‘ื’ืœืœื•.
18:42
Let death be what takes us,
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ืชื ื• ืœืžื•ื•ืช ืœื”ื™ื•ืช ืžื” ืฉืœื•ืงื— ืื•ืชื ื•,
18:44
not lack of imagination.
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ืœื ื—ื•ืกืจ ื“ืžื™ื•ืŸ.
18:48
Thank you.
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ืชื•ื“ื”.
18:50
(Applause)
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(ืžื—ื™ืื•ืช ื›ืคื™ื™ื)
ืขืœ ืืชืจ ื–ื”

ืืชืจ ื–ื” ื™ืฆื™ื’ ื‘ืคื ื™ื›ื ืกืจื˜ื•ื ื™ YouTube ื”ืžื•ืขื™ืœื™ื ืœืœื™ืžื•ื“ ืื ื’ืœื™ืช. ืชื•ื›ืœื• ืœืจืื•ืช ืฉื™ืขื•ืจื™ ืื ื’ืœื™ืช ื”ืžื•ืขื‘ืจื™ื ืขืœ ื™ื“ื™ ืžื•ืจื™ื ืžื”ืฉื•ืจื” ื”ืจืืฉื•ื ื” ืžืจื—ื‘ื™ ื”ืขื•ืœื. ืœื—ืฅ ืคืขืžื™ื™ื ืขืœ ื”ื›ืชื•ื‘ื™ื•ืช ื‘ืื ื’ืœื™ืช ื”ืžื•ืฆื’ื•ืช ื‘ื›ืœ ื“ืฃ ื•ื™ื“ืื• ื›ื“ื™ ืœื”ืคืขื™ืœ ืืช ื”ืกืจื˜ื•ืŸ ืžืฉื. ื”ื›ืชื•ื‘ื™ื•ืช ื’ื•ืœืœื•ืช ื‘ืกื ื›ืจื•ืŸ ืขื ื”ืคืขืœืช ื”ื•ื•ื™ื“ืื•. ืื ื™ืฉ ืœืš ื”ืขืจื•ืช ืื• ื‘ืงืฉื•ืช, ืื ื ืฆื•ืจ ืื™ืชื ื• ืงืฉืจ ื‘ืืžืฆืขื•ืช ื˜ื•ืคืก ื™ืฆื™ืจืช ืงืฉืจ ื–ื”.

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