Don't suffer from your depression in silence | Nikki Webber Allen

Prevoditelj: Lidija Funtek Recezent: Sanda L

What are you doing on this stage

Što radiš na ovoj pozornici

in front of all these people?

pred svim ovim ljudima?

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

Run!

Bježi!

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

Run now.

Bježi odmah!

That's the voice of my anxiety talking.

To govori moja tjeskoba.

Even when there's absolutely nothing wrong,

Čak i kada je sve u redu,

I sometimes get this overwhelming sense of doom,

ponekad me uhvati jako loš osjećaj,

like danger is lurking just around the corner.

kao da opasnost vreba iza ugla.

You see, a few years ago,

Prije nekoliko godina

I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety

rekli su mi da patim od tjeskobe

and depression --

i depresije,

two conditions that often go hand in hand.

dva stanja koja često idu zajedno.

Now, there was a time I wouldn't have told anybody,

Prije to nikome ne bih rekla,

especially not in front of a big audience.

pogotovo ne pred grupom ljudi.

As a black woman,

Kao Afroamerikanka,

I've had to develop extraordinary resilience to succeed.

morala sam se jako potruditi da nešto postignem.

And like most people in my community,

Kao i mnogi drugi u mojoj zajednici,

I had the misconception that depression was a sign of weakness,

mislila sam da je depresija slabost,

a character flaw.

karakterna mana.

But I wasn't weak;

Ali nisam bila slaba,

I was a high achiever.

bila sam veoma uspješna.

I'd earned a Master's degree in Media Studies

Magistrirala sam medijskih znanosti

and had a string of high-profile jobs in the film and television industries.

i imala sam niz veoma važnih poslova na filmu i televiziji.

I'd even won two Emmy Awards for my hard work.

Čak sam osvojila i dvije Emmy nagrade za svoj rad.

Sure, I was totally spent,

Naravno, bila sam potpuno iscrpljena,

I lacked interest in things I used to enjoy,

izgubila sam interes za ono što me prije zabavljalo,

barely ate,

jedva išta jela,

struggled with insomnia

mučila se s nesanicom

and felt isolated and depleted.

i osjećala se samo i istrošeno.

But depressed?

No depresivno?

No, not me.

Ne, nikako.

It took weeks before I could admit it,

Prošli su tjedni prije nego što sam priznala,

but the doctor was right:

ali liječnik je bio u pravu:

I was depressed.

patila sam od depresije.

Still, I didn't tell anybody about my diagnosis.

Svejedno nisam nikome rekla ništa o tome.

I was too ashamed.

Bilo me previše sram.

I didn't think I had the right to be depressed.

Mislila sam da nemam pravo biti u depresiji.

I had a privileged life

Imala sam dobar život,

with a loving family and a successful career.

predivnu obitelj i uspješnu karijeru.

And when I thought about the unspeakable horrors

A kada sam razmišljala o grozotama

that my ancestors had been through in this country

koje su prošli moji preci u ovoj državi,

so that I could have it better,

kako bi meni bilo bolje,

my shame grew even deeper.

osjećala sam još veći sram.

I was standing on their shoulders.

Oni su svojim postignućima utrli put za mene.

How could I let them down?

Kako sam ih mogla izdati?

I would hold my head up,

Podigla bih glavu,

put a smile on my face

nabacila osmijeh

and never tell a soul.

i ne bih rekla nikome.

On July 4, 2013,

Četvrtog srpnja 2013.

my world came crashing in on me.

moj svijet se srušio.

That was the day I got a phone call from my mom

Tog dana nazvala me majka i rekla

telling me that my 22-year-old nephew, Paul, had ended his life,

da se moj 22-godišnji nećak, Paul, ubio,

after years of battling depression and anxiety.

nakon godina borbe protiv depresije i tjeskobe.

There are no words that can describe the devastation I felt.

Riječima se ne može opisati kako sam se osjećala.

Paul and I were very close,

Bili smo jako bliski,

but I had no idea he was in so much pain.

ali nisam imala pojma da je toliko patio.

Neither one of us had ever talked to the other about our struggles.

Nikada nismo razgovarali o svojim problemima.

The shame and stigma kept us both silent.

Šutjeli smo zbog srama i stigme.

Now, my way of dealing with adversity is to face it head on,

Inače se izravno suočavam s problemima,

so I spent the next two years researching depression and anxiety,

pa sam iduće dvije godine provela istražujući depresiju i tjeskobu,

and what I found was mind-blowing.

a ono što sam otkrila veoma me iznenadilo.

The World Health Organization reports

Svjetska zdravstvena organizacija kaže

that depression is the leading cause of sickness and disability

da je depresija glavni uzrok bolesti i invaliditeta

in the world.

u svijetu.

While the exact cause of depression isn't clear,

Iako pravi uzrok depresije još nije jasan,

research suggests that most mental disorders develop,

istraživanja kažu da se većina mentalnih poremećaja,

at least in part,

barem djelomično,

because of a chemical imbalance in the brain,

razvije zbog kemijske neravnoteže u mozgu,

and/or an underlying genetic predisposition.

i/ili zbog genetske predispozicije.

So you can't just shake it off.

Znači, ne možete se toga samo tako riješiti.

For black Americans,

Afroamerikanci

stressors like racism and socioeconomic disparities

zbog rasizma ili socioekonomske nejednakosti

put them at a 20 percent greater risk of developing a mental disorder,

imaju 20% veće šanse da obole od mentalnog poremećaja,

yet they seek mental health services

no, u usporedbi s bijelcima,

at about half the rate of white Americans.

samo pola njih će zatražiti liječničku pomoć.

One reason is the stigma,

Jedan od razloga je stigma,

with 63 percent of black Americans mistaking depression for a weakness.

jer 63% Afroamerikanaca smatra depresiju slabošću.

Sadly, the suicide rate among black children

Nažalost, stopa samoubojstva afroameričke djece

has doubled in the past 20 years.

udvostručila se u posljednjih 20 godina.

Now, here's the good news:

Evo i dobrih vijesti:

seventy percent of people struggling with depression will improve

70% ljudi koji se bore s depresijom osjećat će se bolje

with therapy, treatment and medication.

uz terapiju, liječenje i lijekove.

Armed with this information,

Znajući ovu informaciju,

I made a decision:

nešto sam odlučila:

I wasn't going to be silent anymore.

više neću šutjeti.

With my family's blessing,

Uz podršku svoje obitelji,

I would share our story

podijelit ću našu priču

in hopes of sparking a national conversation.

nadajući se da će potaknuti raspravu na državnoj razini.

A friend, Kelly Pierre-Louis, said,

Prijateljica Kelly Pierre-Louis jednom je rekla,

"Being strong is killing us."

"Naša snaga nas ubija."

She's right.

U pravu je.

We have got to retire those tired, old narratives

Moramo se ostaviti onih starih priča

of the strong black woman

o snažnim Afroamerikankama

and the super-masculine black man,

i super-muževnim Afroamerikancima

who, no matter how many times they get knocked down,

koji se, bez obzira koliko puta pali,

just shake it off and soldier on.

uvijek dižu i nastavljaju dalje.

Having feelings isn't a sign of weakness.

Osjećaji nisu znak slabosti.

Feelings mean we're human.

Osjećaji znače da smo ljudi.

And when we deny our humanity,

Kada niječemo svoju ljudskost,

it leaves us feeling empty inside,

postajemo prazni iznutra

searching for ways to self-medicate in order to fill the void.

i tražimo načine da lijekovima sami popunimo tu prazninu.

My drug was high achievement.

Moja droga bila je uspješnost.

These days, I share my story openly,

Sada dijelim svoju priču s drugima

and I ask others to share theirs, too.

i molim ostale da podijele svoju.

I believe that's what it takes

Mislim da je to potrebno

to help people who may be suffering in silence

kako bi se pomoglo onima koji pate u tišini

to know that they are not alone

te da znaju da nisu sami

and to know that with help,

i da im uz pravu pomoć

they can heal.

može biti bolje.

Now, I still have my struggles,

Još uvijek imam problema,

particularly with the anxiety,

naročito s tjeskobom,

but I'm able to manage it

ali uspijevam je kontrolirati

through daily mediation, yoga and a relatively healthy diet.

uz tuđu pomoć, yogu i relativno zdravu prehranu.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

If I feel like things are starting to spiral,

Ako osjetim da gubim kontrolu,

I make an appointment to see my therapist,

dogovorim sastanak sa svojim terapeutom,

a dynamic black woman named Dawn Armstrong,

dinamičnom Afroamerikankom Dawn Armstrong,

who has a great sense of humor

koja ima odličan smisao za humor

and a familiarity that I find comforting.

i prisnost uz koju se osjećam ugodno.

I will always regret

Uvijek ću žaliti

that I couldn't be there for my nephew.

što nisam mogla pomoći svom nećaku.

But my sincerest hope

Ali iskreno se nadam

is that I can inspire others with the lesson that I've learned.

da onime što sam naučila mogu pomoći drugima.

Life is beautiful.

Život je lijep.

Sometimes it's messy,

Nekad je zbrkan

and it's always unpredictable.

i uvijek je nepredvidljiv.

But it will all be OK

Ali, sve će biti u redu

when you have your support system to help you through it.

ako imate nešto da vas vodi i podržava.

I hope that if your burden gets too heavy,

Nadam se da ćete i vi zatražiti pomoć

you'll ask for a hand, too.

ako vam postane preteško.

Thank you.

Hvala vam.

(Applause)

(Pljesak)