Connected, but alone? | Sherry Turkle

譯者: Wang-Ju Tsai 審譯者: Sherri Wu

Just a moment ago,

幾分鐘前

my daughter Rebecca texted me for good luck.

我的女兒蕾貝卡送了個簡訊來祝我一切順利

Her text said,

她的簡訊說

"Mom, you will rock."

“媽，你會紅”

I love this.

我很喜歡

Getting that text

收到這個簡訊

was like getting a hug.

像得到一個擁抱一樣

And so there you have it.

這就是我們今天要說的主題

I embody

我就代表了

the central paradox.

這個矛盾中心

I'm a woman

我是個

who loves getting texts

喜歡收到簡訊的女人

who's going to tell you

但我同時還要來告訴你們

that too many of them can be a problem.

太多簡訊會出問題

Actually that reminder of my daughter

事實上我女兒的這個簡訊

brings me to the beginning of my story.

讓我回想起這個故事的起點

1996, when I gave my first TEDTalk,

1996年，我第一次來TED作演講

Rebecca was five years old

蕾貝卡只有5歲

and she was sitting right there

她就坐在這裡

in the front row.

在第一排上

I had just written a book

那時我剛寫完了一本書

that celebrated our life on the internet

來紀念我們的網路生活

and I was about to be on the cover

爲此Wired（專門報導未來趨勢）雜誌

of Wired magazine.

還邀請了我去上他們的封面

In those heady days,

在那段讓人振奮的日子裏

we were experimenting

我們正在試驗

with chat rooms and online virtual communities.

網路上的聊天室和虛擬社區

We were exploring different aspects of ourselves.

我們在探索自己不同的相貌

And then we unplugged.

然後我們拔下插頭下綫

I was excited.

這讓我覺得很興奮

And, as a psychologist, what excited me most

身為心理學家，讓我最感興趣的

was the idea

是這樣一個想法

that we would use what we learned in the virtual world

就是我們會基於我們在虛擬世界裏

about ourselves, about our identity,

對自己的認識和認同

to live better lives in the real world.

而在真實世界裏活得更好

Now fast-forward to 2012.

現在快轉到2012年

I'm back here on the TED stage again.

我又回來TED演講

My daughter's 20. She's a college student.

我的女兒已經20歲了

She sleeps with her cellphone,

她是大學生，她抱著手機入睡

so do I.

我也是

And I've just written a new book,

我最近又完成了一本書

but this time it's not one

但這一次這本書

that will get me on the cover

沒有讓我再登上

of Wired magazine.

Wired雜誌的封面

So what happened?

爲什麽會這樣？

I'm still excited by technology,

科技仍然讓我感到着迷

but I believe,

但我相信

and I'm here to make the case,

在此我也要舉證讓大家看

that we're letting it take us places

我們讓科技把我們帶到

that we don't want to go.

我們不想去的地方

Over the past 15 years,

過去的15年來

I've studied technologies of mobile communication

我研究了行動通訊科技

and I've interviewed hundreds and hundreds of people,

我訪問了上百個人

young and old,

有老的和年輕的

about their plugged in lives.

我跟他們問了他們的網上生活

And what I've found

我的發現是

is that our little devices,

我們這些小小的

those little devices in our pockets,

放在口袋裏的行動裝置

are so psychologically powerful

對我們心理有如此大的影響力

that they don't only change what we do,

不止改變了我們的所作所爲

they change who we are.

甚至改變了我們個人

Some of the things we do now with our devices

有些我們現在用行動裝置做的事

are things that, only a few years ago,

在不久之前看來

we would have found odd

我們還會覺得那很奇怪

or disturbing,

或是讓人不安

but they've quickly come to seem familiar,

但在很短的時間裏大家就習慣了

just how we do things.

這些做事的方法

So just to take some quick examples:

讓我們看幾個例子

People text or do email

人們在公司開會時

during corporate board meetings.

傳簡訊或發送電子郵件

They text and shop and go on Facebook

大家傳簡訊、上網購物及上臉書

during classes, during presentations,

不論在上課時，還是在聼演講時

actually during all meetings.

事實上在所有的集會上都這樣

People talk to me about the important new skill

還有人告訴我一個重要的新技巧

of making eye contact

就是打簡訊時

while you're texting.

別忘了還要跟講者有眼神的接觸

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

People explain to me

他們跟我說

that it's hard, but that it can be done.

雖然這不容易，但還是做得到

Parents text and do email

爸媽也在送簡訊和打email

at breakfast and at dinner

而他們的兒女在吃早餐和晚餐時

while their children complain

則抱怨說

about not having their parents' full attention.

得不到父母的關注

But then these same children

在抱怨的這些子女也同樣地

deny each other their full attention.

也沒能給對方關注

This is a recent shot

這是一張最近的照片

of my daughter and her friends

是我的女兒和她的朋友們

being together

他們在一起

while not being together.

卻又不在一起

And we even text at funerals.

還有人在告別式上打簡訊

I study this.

我研究這些現象

We remove ourselves

我們把我們自己

from our grief or from our revery

從悲傷或白日夢中抽離

and we go into our phones.

投入到我們的手機裏

Why does this matter?

這爲什麽很重要？

It matters to me

這對我而言很重要

because I think we're setting ourselves up for trouble --

因爲我認爲我們為自己找來麻煩

trouble certainly

麻煩很明顯地在於

in how we relate to each other,

我們如何和其他人相處

but also trouble

麻煩也會出現在

in how we relate to ourselves

我們如何和自己相處

and our capacity for self-reflection.

還有我們自我反省的能力

We're getting used to a new way

我們漸漸地習慣於一種新的

of being alone together.

在一起一同寂寞的相處形態

People want to be with each other,

人們想要聚在一起

but also elsewhere --

但又想要到別的地方

connected to all the different places they want to be.

去和他們想去的地方連綫

People want to customize their lives.

人們想要訂制自己的生活

They want to go in and out of all the places they are

想要進出所有的地方

because the thing that matters most to them

因爲對他們而言重要的是

is control over where they put their attention.

對自己注意力的掌控權

So you want to go to that board meeting,

所以你希望能出席會議

but you only want to pay attention

但你只想要關注

to the bits that interest you.

你有興趣的事

And some people think that's a good thing.

有的人認爲這是一件好事

But you can end up

但最後有可能變成

hiding from each other,

我們互相在躲對方

even as we're all constantly connected to each other.

儘管我們24小時都連綫在一起

A 50-year-old business man

一個50歲的生意人

lamented to me

跟我抱怨說

that he feels he doesn't have colleagues anymore at work.

在工作上他覺得他沒有同事了

When he goes to work, he doesn't stop by to talk to anybody,

當他去上班時他不再停下來跟人講話

he doesn't call.

他不再打電話

And he says he doesn't want to interrupt his colleagues

他說他不想打擾他的同事

because, he says, "They're too busy on their email."

因爲，他說“他們都在忙他們的email”

But then he stops himself

然而他停了一下

and he says, "You know, I'm not telling you the truth.

說，“唉，我沒有老實說

I'm the one who doesn't want to be interrupted.

其實不想被打擾的人是我

I think I should want to,

我認爲我該跟其他人多些互動

but actually I'd rather just do things on my Blackberry."

但是我只想在我的黑莓機上搞自己的東西“

Across the generations,

在各個世代的身上

I see that people can't get enough of each other,

我看到，人們恨不得時刻在一起

if and only if

只要

they can have each other at a distance,

彼此能保持一定的距離

in amounts they can control.

在他們能控制的範圍内

I call it the Goldilocks effect:

我稱這個為三隻小熊效應

not too close, not too far,

有點近又不會太近

just right.

剛剛好的距離

But what might feel just right

但是對剛那個中年男人來說

for that middle-aged executive

適當的距離

can be a problem for an adolescent

對青少年來説可能就不適當了

who needs to develop face-to-face relationships.

青少年需要發展面對面的關係

An 18-year-old boy

一個18歲的男孩

who uses texting for almost everything

幾乎一切都以簡訊來溝通

says to me wistfully,

他語帶渴望地對我說

"Someday, someday,

“有一天，總有一天

but certainly not now,

但絕對不是現在

I'd like to learn how to have a conversation."

我想學習如何與人交談”

When I ask people

當我問人們

"What's wrong with having a conversation?"

“跟人交談有什麽不好？”

People say, "I'll tell you what's wrong with having a conversation.

人們說，“我可以告訴你有什麽不好

It takes place in real time

面對面交談是真實進行的

and you can't control what you're going to say."

你無法控制要說些什麽”

So that's the bottom line.

所以重點就在這裏

Texting, email, posting,

簡訊，電子郵件，po文

all of these things

這些功能

let us present the self as we want to be.

讓我們用自己想要的方式呈現自己

We get to edit,

我們能編輯

and that means we get to delete,

也就代表我們能刪除

and that means we get to retouch,

我們能修改

the face, the voice,

我們的臉，聲音

the flesh, the body --

肌膚，身體

not too little, not too much,

不多也不少

just right.

剛剛好

Human relationships

人際關係

are rich and they're messy

是豐富的也是複雜的

and they're demanding.

需要用心經營

And we clean them up with technology.

而我們用科技將人際關係清理乾淨

And when we do,

當我們這麽做時

one of the things that can happen

可能發生的一件事

is that we sacrifice conversation

就是我們犧牲了對話

for mere connection.

而只成就了基本的連結

We short-change ourselves.

我們配得更多

And over time,

而隨著時間的經過

we seem to forget this,

我們好像忘了這點

or we seem to stop caring.

或是我們好像不再在乎了

I was caught off guard

我被嚇了一大跳

when Stephen Colbert

當Stephen Colbert（政治評論家、作家、主持人）

asked me a profound question,

問了我一個有深度的問題的時候

a profound question.

這個很有深度的問題

He said, "Don't all those little tweets,

他說“這些零零碎碎的短句

don't all those little sips

這些片斷的章句

of online communication,

不都是溝通的一部分？

add up to one big gulp

而最後總會合成一個

of real conversation?"

完整的真實對話？“

My answer was no,

我的回答是否定的

they don't add up.

他們沒有加總的效果

Connecting in sips may work

用零零碎碎的片段來溝通

for gathering discrete bits of information,

在傳遞較簡短隱私的資訊時或許可行

they may work for saying, "I'm thinking about you,"

用來説說“我在想你”可能可以

or even for saying, "I love you," --

甚至說“我愛你”也還可以

I mean, look at how I felt

我的意思是說

when I got that text from my daughter --

看看我女兒的簡訊讓我多麽高興

but they don't really work

但是這些隻字片語

for learning about each other,

是沒有辦法讓我們了解對方的

for really coming to know and understand each other.

不能讓我們真正互相了解和認識

And we use conversations with each other

而我們用和其他人的對話

to learn how to have conversations

來學習如何

with ourselves.

和我們自己對話

So a flight from conversation

所以逃避對話

can really matter

是一件嚴重的事

because it can compromise

因爲這會同時危害

our capacity for self-reflection.

我們自我反省的能力

For kids growing up,

對成長中的小孩而言

that skill is the bedrock of development.

這個能力是發展的基礎

Over and over I hear,

我一再地聽到人們說

"I would rather text than talk."

“我寧願送簡訊也不要講話”

And what I'm seeing

而我看到的是

is that people get so used to being short-changed

人們變得十分習慣於

out of real conversation,

迴避真正的對話

so used to getting by with less,

將就於這省略版的對話

that they've become almost willing

而最後變得也幾乎不在意

to dispense with people altogether.

將對話的對象也省略掉

So for example,

擧個例子來説

many people share with me this wish,

很多人跟我表達了這個願望

that some day a more advanced version of Siri,

說希望有一天Siri

the digital assistant on Apple's iPhone,

這個蘋果電腦i-Phone内建的數位個人助理

will be more like a best friend,

會變成我們最好的朋友

someone who will listen

當其他人不願的時候

when others won't.

這個軟體還會傾聽我們的心聲

I believe this wish

我相信這個願望

reflects a painful truth

是反映了我過去15年

that I've learned in the past 15 years.

所學到的一個痛苦的事實

That feeling that no one is listening to me

也就是說這個“沒有人聼我講話”的感覺

is very important

在我們和科技之間的關係

in our relationships with technology.

佔有很重要的地位

That's why it's so appealing

這也就是爲什麽

to have a Facebook page

臉書上的最新動態或

or a Twitter feed --

推特的最新動態是如此地吸引人

so many automatic listeners.

因爲在那上面有這麽多現成的聽衆

And the feeling that no one is listening to me

這個“沒有人聼我講話”的感覺

make us want to spend time

讓我們想花更多的時間

with machines that seem to care about us.

跟好像在乎我們的機器在一起

We're developing robots,

我們研發了機器人

they call them sociable robots,

取名叫作社交型機器人

that are specifically designed to be companions --

專門用來和人們作伴

to the elderly,

和老人作伴

to our children,

和小孩做伴

to us.

也和我們作伴

Have we so lost confidence

我們對和彼此作伴

that we will be there for each other?

難道已經絕望到如此地步了嗎？

During my research

在我的研究中

I worked in nursing homes,

我研究過一些安養中心

and I brought in these sociable robots

我引入了這些社交型的機器人

that were designed to give the elderly

這些機器人的功能被設計為

the feeling that they were understood.

要讓老人們覺得自己可以被了解

And one day I came in

有一天我走進來看到

and a woman who had lost a child

有一個失去孩子的媽媽

was talking to a robot

在跟一個外形是小海豹的

in the shape of a baby seal.

機器人講話

It seemed to be looking in her eyes.

機器人似乎注視著她的雙眼

It seemed to be following the conversation.

似乎能夠聼懂她的話

It comforted her.

能夠安撫她

And many people found this amazing.

而很多人覺得這很奇妙

But that woman was trying to make sense of her life

那個女人在試著去找出她生命的意義

with a machine that had no experience

想要透過一個完全沒有生老病死的機器人

of the arc of a human life.

來找出生命的意義

That robot put on a great show.

機器人做了很成功的演出

And we're vulnerable.

而我們很脆弱

People experience pretend empathy

人們體驗了虛假的移情作用

as though it were the real thing.

還以爲那是真的

So during that moment

所以在那個時候

when that woman

當那個女人

was experiencing that pretend empathy,

在體驗虛假的移情作用時

I was thinking, "That robot can't empathize.

我在想：這個機器人是不會憐憫人的

It doesn't face death.

機器人不需面對死亡

It doesn't know life."

不會懂生命

And as that woman took comfort

而當那個媽媽

in her robot companion,

從機器人身上得到慰藉

I didn't find it amazing;

我並不覺得這有什麽值得讚嘆的

I found it one of the most wrenching, complicated moments

我反而覺得這是在我15年學術研究裏

in my 15 years of work.

最令人痛心最複雜的一刻

But when I stepped back,

但當我退一步看

I felt myself

我發現我自己

at the cold, hard center

正處在冷冰冰鐵一般硬的

of a perfect storm.

完美風暴的中心

We expect more from technology

我們對科技有著越來越多的期待

and less from each other.

而對彼此的人際關係卻越來越不抱希望

And I ask myself,

我問我自己

"Why have things come to this?"

“爲什麽會演變到這個地步？”

And I believe it's because

我相信這是因爲

technology appeals to us most

科技在我們最弱的點上

where we are most vulnerable.

顯得最有吸引力

And we are vulnerable.

而我們是脆弱的

We're lonely,

我們感到孤獨

but we're afraid of intimacy.

但又害怕親密

And so from social networks to sociable robots,

從社交媒體到社交機器人

we're designing technologies

我們設計了

that will give us the illusion of companionship

不需要有友誼

without the demands of friendship.

卻能給我們有伴的錯覺的科技

We turn to technology to help us feel connected

我們向科技求助

in ways we can comfortably control.

讓我們依自己覺得舒適的方式來與他人聯結

But we're not so comfortable.

但我們並不覺得如此舒適

We are not so much in control.

一切也不都在我們的掌控之中

These days, those phones in our pockets

現在，這些在我們口袋裏的手機

are changing our minds and hearts

正在改變我們的心靈

because they offer us

因爲他們給我們

three gratifying fantasies.

三個令人滿意的幻想

One, that we can put our attention

第一：我們可以將我們的注意力

wherever we want it to be;

放在我們想要的地方

two, that we will always be heard;

第二：總是有人願意聆聽我們的意見

and three, that we will never have to be alone.

第三：我們永遠不會孤獨

And that third idea,

而這第三個想法

that we will never have to be alone,

“我們永遠不會孤獨”

is central to changing our psyches.

是我們心理狀態改變的關鍵點

Because the moment that people are alone,

因爲一旦人們獨處

even for a few seconds,

即便只有幾秒鐘

they become anxious, they panic, they fidget,

他們立刻變得焦慮，不安，驚慌

they reach for a device.

立刻要把手機拿出來用

Just think of people at a checkout line

例如在排隊的人們

or at a red light.

或是等紅燈的人

Being alone feels like a problem that needs to be solved.

獨處變得是個必須解決的問題

And so people try to solve it by connecting.

而人們試著用互相連綫來解決

But here, connection

但是這裡，有連綫

is more like a symptom than a cure.

只是治標而不治本

It expresses, but it doesn't solve,

只是個表象而沒有真正

an underlying problem.

去解決根本的問題

But more than a symptom,

更甚之，

constant connection is changing

這個一直有連綫的表象

the way people think of themselves.

正在改變人們對自己的看法

It's shaping a new way of being.

正在塑造一個新的生活方式

The best way to describe it is,

最恰當的描述是：

I share therefore I am.

我分享故我在

We use technology to define ourselves

我們用科技來為自己下定義

by sharing our thoughts and feelings

透過即時分享

even as we're having them.

我們的想法和感覺

So before it was:

所以在從前是：

I have a feeling,

我有個感覺

I want to make a call.

我想打個電話

Now it's: I want to have a feeling,

現在是：我想要有個感覺

I need to send a text.

我必須送個簡訊

The problem with this new regime

這個“我分享故我在”的

of "I share therefore I am"

生活方式的問題在於

is that, if we don't have connection,

少了綫上的好友鏈接

we don't feel like ourselves.

我們就好像不是自己了

We almost don't feel ourselves.

我們幾乎就無法感受自己

So what do we do? We connect more and more.

那麽我們會怎麽做？我們會找尋更多的鏈結

But in the process,

但在這樣的一個過程中

we set ourselves up to be isolated.

我們將自己變得的更加孤立

How do you get from connection to isolation?

爲什麽會從有連綫變成孤立呢？

You end up isolated

你會孤立

if you don't cultivate the capacity for solitude,

是因為如果你不培養獨處的能力

the ability to be separate,

和將自己抽離出來

to gather yourself.

重新沉澱的能力

Solitude is where you find yourself

獨處能讓你找到自我

so that you can reach out to other people

體驗過孤獨後你才能夠走向人們

and form real attachments.

進而建立真正的連結

When we don't have the capacity for solitude,

當我們沒有和自己獨處的能力

we turn to other people in order to feel less anxious

我們轉向別人只為使自己覺得較不焦慮

or in order to feel alive.

或感受到自己的存在

When this happens,

當這一切演變到這個地步時

we're not able to appreciate who they are.

我們已無法去欣賞周圍的人

It's as though we're using them

我們只是在利用這些人

as spare parts

把他們當作是零件

to support our fragile sense of self.

是用來支持我們脆弱自我的零件

We slip into thinking that always being connected

我們輕信說跟很多人在綫上連結

is going to make us feel less alone.

將會讓我們覺得不孤單

But we're at risk,

但我們這是在冒險

because actually it's the opposite that's true.

因爲我們認知的反面纔是真的

If we're not able to be alone,

我們如果不能獨處

we're going to be more lonely.

我們將更加孤單

And if we don't teach our children to be alone,

我們如果不能教會我們的小孩獨處

they're only going to know

他們將不會知道

how to be lonely.

如何處理孤獨

When I spoke at TED in 1996,

當我1996年在TED演講時

reporting on my studies

我報告了

of the early virtual communities,

我對早期虛擬社區的研究

I said, "Those who make the most

我說，“那些善用他們

of their lives on the screen

在電腦銀幕上人生的人

come to it in a spirit of self-reflection."

這麽做是基於一種自我反省的精神“

And that's what I'm calling for here, now:

而這正是我此時此地所要宣導的：

reflection and, more than that, a conversation

反省和更進一步去對話探討

about where our current use of technology

看我們對科技的使用

may be taking us,

會將我們帶到哪裏

what it might be costing us.

我們將付出什麽代價

We're smitten with technology.

我們完全被科技所吸引

And we're afraid, like young lovers,

而我們也害怕，如同年輕人一般

that too much talking might spoil the romance.

怕言語太多會破壞浪漫氣氛

But it's time to talk.

但是討論的時候到了

We grew up with digital technology

我們和數位科技一同成長

and so we see it as all grown up.

所以我們將它也視爲發育完成

But it's not, it's early days.

但是並非如此，它仍是在發育初期

There's plenty of time

我們還有很多時間

for us to reconsider how we use it,

可以來思考我們該如何使用科技

how we build it.

如何來建構科技

I'm not suggesting

我不是在建議說

that we turn away from our devices,

我們不該使用我們的行動裝置

just that we develop a more self-aware relationship

而是說我們該建立一種較有自我意識的關係

with them, with each other

在人與科技，在人與人之間

and with ourselves.

以及和我們自己

I see some first steps.

我已經有幾個初步的構想

Start thinking of solitude

首先就是把獨處

as a good thing.

想成一件好事

Make room for it.

替它保留一些空間

Find ways to demonstrate this

找一些方法來向你的小孩展示

as a value to your children.

說這個是寶貴有價值的

Create sacred spaces at home --

在家裏劃定一些神聖的區域

the kitchen, the dining room --

廚房、飯廳

and reclaim them for conversation.

把這些區域界定為對話空間

Do the same thing at work.

在你的辦公地點也如法炮製

At work, we're so busy communicating

在上班時我們是如此地忙於溝通公務

that we often don't have time to think,

我們不太有時間來思考

we don't have time to talk,

我們沒有時間來討論

about the things that really matter.

真正重要的事

Change that.

而這該有所改變

Most important, we all really need to listen to each other,

最重要的是我們真該好好傾聼

including to the boring bits.

大大小小甚至於無聊的事

Because it's when we stumble

因爲只有當我們結結巴巴

or hesitate or lose our words

猶豫或無言的時候

that we reveal ourselves to each other.

我們才是跟對方顯示我們的真本性

Technology is making a bid

科技讓人們有機會

to redefine human connection --

來重新定義人際間的連結

how we care for each other,

如何去關愛對方

how we care for ourselves --

和如何來關愛我們自己

but it's also giving us the opportunity

同時也給了我們

to affirm our values

確認我們價值

and our direction.

和確認我們方向的機會

I'm optimistic.

我是很樂觀的

We have everything we need to start.

我們已經擁有需要的一切

We have each other.

我們互相擁有

And we have the greatest chance of success

並且有絕佳的成功機會

if we recognize our vulnerability.

只要我們能承認自己的軟弱

That we listen

我們更該彼此聆聽

when technology says

特別是當科技承諾說

it will take something complicated

它會將複雜的

and promises something simpler.

轉換成簡單的

So in my work,

在我的研究裏

I hear that life is hard,

我聽到說生活是辛苦的

relationships are filled with risk.

人際關係是充滿風險的

And then there's technology --

相對的，科技是

simpler, hopeful,

更簡單、充滿希望

optimistic, ever-young.

樂觀的、永遠年輕的

It's like calling in the cavalry.

這就像我們的完美救兵

An ad campaign promises

有一個廣告說

that online and with avatars,

在綫上用你的替身

you can "Finally, love your friends

你將可以“愛你的朋友

love your body, love your life,

愛你的身體，愛你的生活

online and with avatars."

快來上綫使用你的替身”

We're drawn to virtual romance,

網上虛擬的愛情

to computer games that seem like worlds,

做得跟真實世界一樣的網路遊戲

to the idea that robots, robots,

還有那個有一天可以是我們知心伴侶的機器人

will someday be our true companions.

這些東西深深地吸引著我們

We spend an evening on the social network

我們寧願花一整個晚上在社交網路上

instead of going to the pub with friends.

而不願和朋友去pub見面

But our fantasies of substitution

這個用替代品就好的幻想

have cost us.

最終會讓我們付出代價的

Now we all need to focus

現在我們都該多關注

on the many, many ways

各式各樣的方法

technology can lead us back

運用科技將我們帶囘

to our real lives, our own bodies,

我們真實的生活，我們真實的身體

our own communities,

我們自己的社區

our own politics,

我們自己的政治

our own planet.

我們的星球

They need us.

這些都需要我們

Let's talk about

讓我們來談談

how we can use digital technology,

我們如何能用數位科技

the technology of our dreams,

這個我們夢想的科技

to make this life

來使我們的生活

the life we can love.

真正成爲我們的所愛

Thank you.

謝謝

(Applause)

（掌聲）