What it was like to grow up under China's one-child policy | Nanfu Wang

譯者: Lilian Chiu 審譯者: Shuyun Zhao

My name is Nanfu.

我是男栿。

In Chinese, "nan" means "man."

在中文，「男」意思是「男人」。

And "fu" means "pillar."

而「栿」是樑柱。

My family had hoped for a boy,

我的家人希望能生男孩，

who would grow up to be the pillar of the family.

且這個男孩長大後能成為家中的支柱。

And when I turned out to be a girl,

結果生出我這個女孩時，

they named me Nanfu anyway.

他們還是把我命名為男栿了。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

I was born in 1985,

我生於 1985 年，

six years before China announced its one-child policy.

中國在六年後才宣佈一胎化政策。

Right after I was born,

在我出生之後，

the local officials came and ordered my mom to be sterilized.

地方官員就來找我母親， 命令她做結紮手術。

My grandpa stood up to the officials,

我祖父站出來對抗官員，

because he wanted a grandson to carry on the family name.

因為他希望能有個孫子來傳家。

Eventually, my parents were allowed to have a second child,

最後，我父母被允許生第二個孩子，

but they had to wait for five years

但必須要等五年，

and pay a substantial fine.

且要支付一筆不小的罰金。

Growing up, my brother and I

我和我弟弟在成長過程中，

were surrounded by children from one-child families.

身邊都是獨子或獨女。

I remember feeling a sense of shame

我還記得我當時感到羞恥，

because I had a younger brother.

只因為我有個弟弟。

I felt like our family did something wrong for having two children.

我覺得我的家庭有兩個孩子 就好像是做錯了事。

At the time, I didn't question

當時，我並沒有去追究

where this sense of shame and guilt came from.

這種羞恥感和罪惡感來自何處。

A year and a half ago, I had my own first child.

一年半之前，我自己生了第一胎。

It was the best thing that ever happened in my life.

那是我人生中最美好的事。

Becoming a mother

成為母親

gave me a totally new perspective on my own childhood,

讓我對於我自己的童年有了新的觀點，

and it brought back my memories of early life in China.

我早期生活在中國的記憶被喚起。

For the past three decades,

在過去三十年間，

everyone in my family had to apply for a permission from the government

我家中的每一個人 都必須要向政府申請許可，

to have a child.

才能生孩子。

And I wondered

我很納悶，

what it was like for people who lived under the one-child policy.

生活在一胎化政策下的人， 過的是怎樣的生活？

So I decided to make a documentary about it.

所以我決定針對這個主題 拍一支紀錄片。

One of the people I interviewed

我訪談的其中一個人

was the midwife who delivered all of the babies born in my village,

是我的村子裡接生了所有寶寶的產婆，

including myself.

我也是她接生的。

She was 84 years old when I interviewed her.

我訪問她時，她已經八十四歲。

I asked her,

我問她：

"Do you remember how many babies you delivered throughout your career?"

「你記得你的職涯中 接生過多少個孩子嗎？」

She didn't have a number for deliveries.

她沒有接生的人數。

She said she had performed

但她說她進行了

60,000 forced abortions and sterilizations.

六萬次強迫墮胎和結紮。

Sometimes, she said,

她說，有時，

a late-term fetus would survive an abortion,

晚期墮胎的胎兒會生存下來，

and she would kill the baby after delivering it.

她必須要在接生孩子之後再將他殺死。

She remembered how her hands would tremble

她還記得當她這麼做的時候，

她的雙手都在發抖。

as she did the work.

Her story shocked me.

她的故事讓我很震驚。

When I set out to make the film,

當我決定要拍這部片子時，

I expected it would be a simple story of perpetrators and victims.

我預期的是行兇者 和受害者之間的簡單故事。

People who carried out the policy

執行政策的人，

and people who are living with the consequences.

以及承受其後果繼續生活的人。

But that wasn't what I saw.

但我看見的並非如此。

As I was finishing my interview with the midwife,

在我和產婆的訪談尾聲，

I noticed an area in her house

我注意到她的房子中有一區

that was decorated with elaborate homemade flags.

用精心自製的旗子來裝飾。

And each flag has a picture of a baby on it.

每一支旗子上面都有一個寶寶的照片。

These were flags that were sent by families

她協助許多家庭處理不孕的問題，

whom she helped treat their infertility problems.

這些旗子就是那些家庭送來的。

She explained that she had had enough

她解釋說，她實在受夠了

of performing abortions and sterilizations --

進行墮胎和結紮——

that the only work she did now was to help families have babies.

現在她只做一種工作， 就是協助家庭生孩子。

She said she was full of guilt

她說，實行一胎化政策

for carrying out the one-child policy,

讓她充滿罪惡感，

and she hoped that by helping families have babies,

她希望透過協助家庭生孩子，

she could counteract what she did in the past.

她能夠彌補過去所做的行為。

It became clear to me she, too, was a victim of the policy.

我意識到，她也是這項政策的受害者。

Every voice was telling her

所有的聲音都在告訴她，

that what she did was right and necessary for China's survival.

她做的是對的事， 為了中國的生存是必要的。

And she did what she thought was right for her country.

她做了她認為對國家有幫助的事。

I know how strong that message was.

我知道那種訊息有多強烈。

It was everywhere around myself when I grew up.

在我成長過程中， 身邊到處都是那種訊息。

It was printed on matches,

印在火柴盒上、

playing cards,

撲克牌上、

textbooks, posters.

教科書上、海報上。

The propaganda praising the one-child policy

我們身邊到處都是 讚頌一胎化政策的宣傳。

was everywhere around us.

[Anyone who refuses to sterilize will be arrested.]

〔該環不環，該紮不紮，見了就抓。〕

不遵守政策要面臨的威脅 也是無所不在。

And so were the threats against disobeying it.

The message seeped into our minds

這個訊息滲入我們的腦中，

so much so that I grew up feeling embarrassed

滲入的程度到了讓我在成長過程中

會因為我有弟弟就感到不好意思。

for having a younger brother.

With each person I filmed,

我每拍攝一個人，

I saw how their minds and hearts can be influenced by the propaganda,

我就會看到他們的大腦和心

如何被宣傳所影響，

and how their willingness to make sacrifices for the greater good

和他們肯為了更大的利益 而犧牲的意願

can be twisted into something very dark and tragic.

如何被扭曲成又黑暗又可悲。

China is not the only place where this happens.

這種事不只發生在中國。

There is no country on earth where propaganda isn't present.

地球上的所有國家都會有宣傳。

And in societies that are supposed to be more open and free than China,

在應該比中國更開放、 更自由的國家中，

it can be even harder to recognize what propaganda looks like.

可能更難辨視出宣傳的樣貌。

It hides in plain sight as news reports,

宣傳就隱藏在看不見的地方， 偽裝成新聞報導、

TV commercials, political campaigning

電視廣告、政治活動，

and in our social media feeds.

也藏在社交媒體的饋送中。

It works to change our minds without our knowledge.

宣傳的作用是要在我們 不知情的情況下改變我們的想法。

Every society is vulnerable to accepting propaganda as truth,

每個社會都很容易 會把宣傳當作真相來接受，

and no society where propaganda replaces the truth

如果在一個社會中， 宣傳取代了真相，

can be truly free.

它就不是真正自由的社會。

Thank you.

謝謝。

(Applause)

（掌聲）