Asking for help is a strength, not a weakness | Michele L. Sullivan

Prevodilac: Milenka Okuka Lektor: Mile Živković

We all have milestones in life that we remember so vividly.

Svi imamo prekretnice u životu kojih se jasno sećamo.

The first one for me was when I was entering kindergarten.

Prva koje se sećam je kad sam krenula u vrtić.

My big brother was in school, and by golly, it was my time.

Moj stariji brat je išao u školu i, sto mu muka, ja sam bila na redu.

And I went trottin' down that hallway.

Kasala sam niz hodnik.

I was so excited, I almost wet myself.

Toliko sam bila uzbuđena, da sam se skoro upiškila.

And I go to the door,

I došla sam do vrata,

and there was the teacher with a warm welcome,

a tu je bila vaspitačica sa toplom dobrodošlicom

and she took me into the classroom,

i uvela me je u učionicu,

showed me my little cubbyhole --

pokazala mi moj ormarić -

we all remember those little cubbyholes, don't we --

svi se sećamo ormarića, zar ne -

and we put our stuff in there.

odložili smo stvari u njega.

And then she said, "Go over to the circle

A onda je rekla: "Pođi do kruga

and play with the kids until class starts."

i igraj se sa decom dok čas počne."

So I went over there and plopped down like I owned the place,

Pa sam krenula tamo i bacila sam se kao da vladam tim mestom,

and I'm playing,

igrala sam se

and all of a sudden, the boy next to me,

i iznenada, dečak pored mene,

he was wearing a white shirt with blue shorts.

nosio je belu majicu i plavi šorts.

I remember it like it was yesterday.

Sećam se kao da je juče bilo.

Suddenly he stopped playing and he said,

Iznenada je prestao da se igra i upitao:

"Why are you so short?"

"Zašto si tako niska?"

And I just kept playing. I didn't think he was talking to me.

A ja sam nastavila da se igram, nisam mislila da se meni obraća.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

And in a louder voice, he said,

Glasnije je upitao:

"Hey, why are you so short?"

"Hej, zašto si tako niska?"

So I looked up and I said,

Uspravila sam pogled i rekla:

"What are you talking about? Let's just play. We're happy.

"O čemu pričaš? Samo se igrajmo. Srećni smo.

I've been waiting for this."

Čekala sam ovo."

And so we played, and about a minute later,

Pa smo se igrali i, oko minut kasnije,

the girl next to him, in a white shirt and a pink skirt,

devojčica pored njega, u beloj majici i rozoj suknji,

stood up, put her hands on her hips,

ustala je, stavila ruke na kukove

and said, "Yeah, why do you look so different?"

i rekla: "Da, zašto izgledaš toliko drugačije?"

And I went, "What are you talking about?

A ja ću na to: "O čemu pričaš?

I don't look different. I'm not short. Again, let's just play."

Ne izgledam različito. Nisam niska. Opet, hajde da se igramo."

About this time, I looked all around the circle I was in,

Tog momenta sam pogledala širom kruga u kom sam bila,

and all the kids had stopped playing and they were all looking at me.

sva deca su prestala da se igraju i svi su gledali u mene.

And I'm thinking --

A ja sam mislila -

in today's language, it would be "OMG" or "WTF."

današnjim jezikom rečeno "brt" ili "jbt".

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

What just happened?

Šta se upravo desilo?

So all the confidence that I went in with that morning

Dakle, sve samopouzdanje s kojim sam tog jutra ušla

was withering away as the morning went on

je venulo kako je jutro proticalo,

and the questions kept coming.

a pitanja su se nastavila.

And at the end of the morning, before I went home,

A po završetku jutra, pre nego što sam krenula kući,

the teacher had us in a circle,

vaspitačica nas je poređala u krug,

and I actually found myself outside of the circle.

a ja sam se zapravo zatekla van kruga.

I couldn't look at anybody.

Nisam mogla nikoga da gledam.

I could not understand what just happened.

Nisam mogla da razumem šta se upravo desilo.

And over the next few years,

A tokom narednih nekoliko godina,

I hated to go out in public.

mrzela sam da izlazim u javnost.

I felt every stare, every giggle,

Osećala sam svaki pogled, svako kikotanje,

every pointed finger,

svaki uperen prst,

not the finger,

ne srednji prst,

but every pointed finger,

već svaki uperen prst

and I hated it.

i mrzela sam to.

I would hide behind my parents' legs like nobody could see me.

Skrivala bih se iza nogu mojih roditelja da me niko ne bi video.

And as a child,

A kao dete,

you can't understand another child's curiosity,

ne možete da razumete radoznalost drugog deteta,

nor an adult's ignorance.

niti neznanje odrasle osobe.

It became very apparent to me that the real world was not built

Postalo mi je očigledno da stvaran svet nije izgrađen

for someone of my size, both literally or figuratively.

za nekoga moje veličine, bukvalno i figurativno.

And so I have no anonymity, as you can probably tell,

Stoga nemam anonimnost, kao što verovatno vidite,

and while you can see my size,

i dok vidite moju veličinu,

we all go through many challenges through our lifetime.

svi prolazimo kroz mnoge izazove tokom našeg života.

And some you can see, like mine.

A neke možete da vidite, poput mog.

Most you can't.

Većinu ne možete.

You can't tell if someone's dealing with a mental illness,

Ne možete videti da li se neko nosi sa mentalnom bolešću

or they're struggling with their gender identity,

ili se bori sa rodnim identitetom,

they're caring for an aging parent,

da li brine za ostarelog roditelja,

they're having financial difficulty.

da li ima finansijske poteškoće.

You can't see that kind of stuff.

Ne vidite te stvari.

So while you can see

Pa, dok možete da vidite

one of my challenges is my size,

da je jedan od mojih izazova moja visina,

seeing does not mean you understand

to što vidite, ne znači da razumete

what it's truly to be me on a daily basis, or what I go through.

kako je to uistinu biti ja svakodnevno ili kroz šta prolazim.

And so I'm here to debunk a myth.

Stoga sam ovde da opovrgnem mit.

I do not believe you can walk in someone else's shoes,

Ne verujem da možete da budete u tuđoj koži

and because of that, we must adopt a new way of giving of ourselves.

i zbog toga moramo da usvojimo novi vid pomaganja.

Simply stated, I will never know what it's like to be you

Prosto rečeno, nikada neću znati kako je to biti vi,

and you will never know what it's like to be me.

a vi nikada nećete znati kako je biti ja.

I cannot face your fears or chase your dreams,

Ne mogu da se suočim s vašim strahovima ili da jurim vaše snove,

and you can't do that for me,

a vi to ne možete da uradite za mene,

but we can be supportive of each other.

ali možemo da podržavamo jedni druge.

Instead of trying to walk in each other's shoes,

Umesto da pokušavamo da uđemo u tuđu kožu,

we must adopt a new way of giving of ourselves.

moramo da usvojimo novi vid pomaganja.

I learned at an early age

U ranom uzrastu sam naučila

that I did have to do some things different than most people,

da moram da radim neke stvari drugačije od većine ljudi,

but I also learned there were things I was on equal footing with,

ali sam takođe naučila da postoje stvari gde sam na ravnoj nozi s drugima

and one of those was the classroom.

a jedna od njih je bila učionica.

Heh, heh, heh. I was equal.

Eh, eh, eh. Bila sam jednaka.

As a matter of fact, I excelled in the classroom.

Zapravo, blistala sam u učionici.

This was vitally important, I discovered as I grew older

Ovo je bilo od vitalnog značaja, otkrila sam kako sam starila

and realized I wasn't going to be able to do a physical job.

i shvatila sam da neću moći da se bavim fizičkim radom.

I needed an education.

Bilo mi je potrebno obrazovanje.

So I went on and got a university degree,

Pa sam se upisala na univerzitet i diplomirala,

but I felt to be one step ahead of everyone for employment,

ali sam osećala da bih bila korak ispred svih pri zapošljavanju

I needed to have an advanced university degree,

da moram da imam fakultetsku specijalizaciju,

so I went ahead and got that.

pa sam i to stekla.

Now I'm ready for my interview.

Sad sam spremna za razgovor za posao.

Remember your first interview? What am I going to wear?

Sećate li se svog prvog razgovora? Šta da obučem?

What questions?

Koja pitanja?

And don't forget that firm handshake.

I ne zaboravite taj čvrsti stisak.

I was right there with you.

Potpuno sam vas razumela.

So 24 hours before my interview,

Pa, 24 sata pre razgovora za posao,

a friend of mine who I've known all my life

moja prijateljica, koju znam čitav život,

called and said, "Michele, the building you're going in has steps."

me je nazvala i rekla: "Mišel, zgrada u koju ideš, ima stepenice."

And she knew I couldn't climb steps.

Znala je da ne mogu da se penjem uza stepenice.

So suddenly, my focus changed.

Pa se iznenada moja pažnja preusmerila.

In my shoes, I was worried about how am I going to get there?

U mojoj koži, bila sam zabrinuta kako da stignem tamo?

So I went early and found a loading dock and got in and had a great interview.

Pa sam otišla ranije i našla magacin i ušla unutra i imala sjajan intervju.

They had no idea what I went through for the day and that's OK.

Pojma nisu imali kroz šta sam prošla tog dana, i to je u redu.

You're probably thinking my greatest challenge that day was the interview,

Verovatno mislite da je moj najveći izazov tog dana bio razgovor

or getting in the building.

ili stizanje u zgradu.

In reality, my biggest challenge that day

U stvarnosti, moj najveći izazov tog dana

was getting through the loading dock without getting run over.

je bio prolazak kroz magacin, a da me ne pregaze.

I am very vulnerable in certain situations:

Veoma sam ranjiva u određenim situacijama:

airports, hallways, parking lots,

aerodromi, hodnici, parkinzi,

loading docks.

magacini.

And so I have to be very careful.

Te moram da budem veoma pažljiva.

I have to anticipate and be flexible

Moram da predviđam i da budem fleksibilna

and move as quickly as I can sometimes.

i da se ponekad krećem što brže mogu.

So I got the job,

Dakle, dobila sam posao

and in my current role I travel quite a bit.

i moja trenutna uloga zahteva da putujem poprilično.

And travel is a challenge for all of us these days.

A putovanje je ovih dana izazov za sve nas.

And so you probably get to the airport, run through security, get to the gate.

Vi verovatno stignete na aerodrom, prođete kroz obezbeđenje, stignete do izlaza.

Did I get my aisle seat or my window seat? Did I get my upgrade?

Da li sam dobila mesto do prolaza ili prozora? Da li sam u prvoj klasi?

Me, first of all, I don't run through anything.

Ja, pre svega, ja ne jurim nikuda.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

And I especially don't run through the TSA

A naročito ne jurim kroz TBA

because I get to experience the personal patdown.

jer meni sleduje iskustvo ličnog pretraživanja.

I won't comment on that.

Neću to da komentarišem.

And then I make my way to the gate,

A onda se proguram do kapije

and with my gift of gab that my parents said I was born with,

i uz pomoć brbljivosti, moji roditelji kažu da sam rođena s tim,

I talk to the gate agent, and then I say, "By the way, my scooter weighs this much,

razgovaram s agentom na kapiji i kažem: "Usput, moj skuter je težak toliko,

I have a dry cell battery,

imam akumulator na suvo punjenje

and I can drive it down to the door of the plane."

i mogu da se odvezem do vrata aviona."

Also, the day before, I had called the city where I'm traveling to

Takođe, dan ranije sam morala da nazovem grad u koji putujem

to find out where I could rent a scooter in case mine gets broken on the way.

kako bih otkrila gde mogu da iznajmim skuter, ako se moj usput pokvari.

So in my shoes, it's a little bit different.

Dakle, u mojoj koži je malčice drugačije.

When I get onto the plane,

Kad se ukrcam na avion,

I use my gift of gab to ask the lady to put my bag up, and they graciously do.

svojim darom brbljanja zamolim damu da mi podigne torbu, i one to rado čine.

I try not to eat or drink on a plane

Trudim se da ne jedem i ne pijem u avionu

because I don't want to have to get up and walk on the plane,

jer ne želim da ustajem i hodam u avionu,

but nature has its own schedule,

ali priroda ima sopstveni raspored

and not long ago, it knocked and I answered.

i ne tako davno je pokucala, a ja sam se javila.

So I walked up to the front of the plane

Dakle, odšetala sam do pročelja aviona

and gabbed with the flight attendant,

i brbljala sa stjuardesom

and said, "Can you watch the door? I can't reach the lock."

i zamolila: "Možeš li da pripaziš vrata? Ne mogu da dohvatim ključ."

So I'm in there doing my business, and the door flies open.

Tako, unutra sam, obavljam svoj posao, a vrata se širom otvaraju.

And there's a gentleman there

I tu stoji gospodin

with a look of horror on his face.

s izrazom užasavanja na licu.

I'm sure I had the same look.

Sigurno sam i ja imala isti.

As I came out, I noticed that he was sitting right across from me,

Kako sam izlazila, primetila sam da sedi tačno preko puta mene

and he's in total, complete embarrassment.

i potpuno, kompletno ga je sramota.

So I walk up to him and I quietly go,

Pa mu prilazim i tiho kažem:

"Are you going to remember this as much as I am?"

"Hoćeš li da pamtiš ovo koliko i ja?"

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

And he goes, "I think so."

A on će: "Verujem da hoću."

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

Now, while he's probably not talking about it publicly, I am.

Sad, dok on verovatno ne govori javno o tome, ja govorim.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

But we talked for the rest of the flight,

Međutim, razgovarali smo ostatak leta

and we got to know each other, our families, sports, work,

i upoznali smo se, naše porodice, sport, posao

and when we landed, he said,

i kad smo sleteli, rekao je:

"Michele, I noticed someone put your bag up.

"Mišel, primetio sam da ti je neko podigao torbu.

Can I get that for you?"

Mogu li da ti je spustim?"

And I said, "Of course, thank you."

A ja sam rekla: "Naravno, hvala ti."

And we wished each other well,

I poželeli smo jedno drugom sreću,

and the most important thing that day

a najvažnije tog dana

was that he was not going to leave with that embarrassment,

je da on nije otišao sa posramljenošću,

that experience of embarrassment.

tim iskustvom sramote.

He won't forget it, and neither will I,

Neće to zaboraviti, a neću ni ja,

but I think he will remember more

ali mislim da će se više sećati

our chat and our different perspectives.

našeg razgovora i naših različitih perspektiva.

When you travel internationally,

Kada putujete u inostranstvo,

it can be even more challenging in certain ways.

na neki način može da bude još veći izazov.

A few years ago, I was in Zanzibar,

Pre nekoliko godina sam bila u Zanzibaru

and I come wheeling in,

i došla sam u kolicima,

and think about that.

zamislite to.

Short, white, blond woman in a chair.

Niska, bela, plavuša u kolicima.

That doesn't probably happen every day.

To se verovatno ne dešava svaki dan.

So I go up, and with my gift of gab, I start to talk to the agent.

Pa sam ustala i darom za brbljanje sam počela da razgovaram s agentom.

So friendly, and I ask about their culture and so forth,

Prijateljski, i pitala sam o njihovoj kulturi i tako dalje,

and I notice there wasn't a jet bridge.

i primetila sam da nema avio-mosta.

So I had to kind of say,

Pa sam morala da kažem nešto kao:

"Not only do you have to lift my chair,

"Ne samo da ćeš morati da podigneš moja kolica,

I could use some help getting up the steps."

trebala bi mi pomoć pri penjanju stepenicama."

So we got to spend about an hour together while we waited for the flight,

Pa smo proveli oko sat vremena zajedno, čekajući let

and it was the most magnificent hour.

i to je bio najčarobniji sat.

Our perspective changed for both of us that day.

Perspektive nas oboje su se promenile tog dana.

And once I got on the flight,

I kad sam se ukrcala na let,

he patted me on the back and wished me well,

potapšao me je po leđima i poželeo mi sreću,

and I thanked him so much.

a ja sam mu od srca zahvalila.

And again, I think he's going to remember that experience more

I, opet, smatram da će se tog iskustva pre setiti

than when I first came in, and there was a bit of hesitation.

nego kad sam prvi put ušla, i osećalo se oklevanje.

And as you notice, I get a lot of help.

I, kao što primećujete, stalno dobijam pomoć.

I would not be where I am today

Ne bih bila tu gde sam danas

if it was not for my family, my friends, my colleagues

da nije bilo moje porodice, mojih prijatelja, mojih kolega

and the many strangers

i mnogih stranaca

that help me every single day of my life.

koji su mi pomagali svakog dana mog života.

And it's important that we all have a support system.

I važno je da svi mi imamo sistem podrške.

Asking for help is a strength,

Traženje pomoći je snaga,

not a weakness.

a ne slabost.

(Applause)

(Aplauz)

We all need help throughout our lifetime,

Svima nam je potrebna pomoć u životu,

but it is just as important

ali je podjednako važno

that we are part of other people's support systems.

da budemo deo sistema podrške drugih ljudi.

We must adopt that way of giving back.

Moramo da usvojimo uzvraćanje.

We all obviously have a role to play in our own successes,

Svi mi očigledno imamo ulogu u sopstvenom uspehu,

but think about the role we have to play in other people's successes,

ali razmislite o našoj ulozi u tuđem uspehu,

just like people do for me every single day.

baš kao što meni ljudi pomažu svakog dana.

It's vitally important that we help each other,

Izuzetno je važno da pomažemo jedni drugima

because society is increasingly placing people in silos

jer društvo sve češće ljude smešta u kategorije

based on biases and ideologies.

zasnovane na predrasudama i ideologijama.

And we must look past the surface

Te mi moramo da gledamo mimo površnosti

and be confronted with the truth

i da se suočimo sa istinom

that none of us are what you can see.

da niko od nas nije ono što vidite.

There's more to us than that,

Svi mi smo mnogo više od toga

and we're all dealing with things that you cannot see.

i svi se mi borimo sa stvarima koje ne možete da vidite.

So living a life free of judgment

Zato život oslobođen osuđivanja

allows all of us to share those experiences together

omogućava nam da delimo zajedno ova iskustva

and have a totally different perspective,

i da imamo potpuno drugačiju perspektivu,

just like the couple of people I mentioned earlier in my stories.

baš kao nekoliko ljudi iz mojih priča, koje sam ranije pomenula.

So remember, the only shoes

Zato upamtite, jedina koža

you truly can walk in are your own.

u kojoj zaista možete da živite je vaša.

I cannot walk in yours.

Ne mogu da živim u vašoj.

I know you can't walk in my size 1s --

Znam da vi ne možete stati u moju -

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

but you can try.

ali možete da pokušate.

But we can do something better than that.

No možemo nešto bolje od toga.

With compassion, courage and understanding,

Uz saosećanje, hrabrost i razumevanje,

we can walk side by side

možemo da hodamo rame uz rame

and support one another,

i da podržavamo jedni druge,

and think about how society can change

i pomislite kako bi se društvo promenilo,

if we all do that

kad bismo svi tako radili,

instead of judging on only what you can see.

umesto osuda zasnovanih samo na onom što vidite.

Thank you.

Hvala vam.

(Applause)

(Aplauz)

Thank you.

Hvala vam.