Asking for help is a strength, not a weakness | Michele L. Sullivan

Prevoditelj: Irma Komljenović Recezent: Sanda L

We all have milestones in life that we remember so vividly.

Svi mi imamo prekretnice u životu kojih se jasno sjećamo.

The first one for me was when I was entering kindergarten.

Moja prva se dogodila kada sam krenula u vrtić.

My big brother was in school, and by golly, it was my time.

Moj je stariji brat već bio u školi i, moj Bože, došao je i moj trenutak.

And I went trottin' down that hallway.

Kaskala sam tim hodnikom.

I was so excited, I almost wet myself.

Bila sam toliko uzbuđena da sam se skoro pomokrila.

And I go to the door,

Dođem do vrata

and there was the teacher with a warm welcome,

i tamo je bila učiteljica, toplo me dočekavši,

and she took me into the classroom,

uvela me u učionicu,

showed me my little cubbyhole --

i pokazala mi moj mali ormarić.

we all remember those little cubbyholes, don't we --

Svi se sjećamo tih malih ormarića, zar ne?

and we put our stuff in there.

I tamo smo stavili stvari.

And then she said, "Go over to the circle

Onda je rekla, "Idi do kruga

and play with the kids until class starts."

i igraj se s djecom do početka nastave."

So I went over there and plopped down like I owned the place,

Otišla sam tamo i sjela kao da sam najvažnija osoba na svijetu,

and I'm playing,

i igrala sam se

and all of a sudden, the boy next to me,

i odjednom dečko kraj mene,

he was wearing a white shirt with blue shorts.

nosio je bijelu majicu i plave kratke hlače.

I remember it like it was yesterday.

Sjećam se kao da je bilo jučer.

Suddenly he stopped playing and he said,

Najednom se prestao igrati i rekao je,

"Why are you so short?"

"Zašto si tako niska?"

And I just kept playing. I didn't think he was talking to me.

Ja sam se nastavila igrati. Nisam mislila da govori meni.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

And in a louder voice, he said,

Rekao je glasnije,

"Hey, why are you so short?"

"Hej, zašto si tako niska?"

So I looked up and I said,

Pogledala sam ga i rekla,

"What are you talking about? Let's just play. We're happy.

"O čemu govoriš? Igrajmo se. Sretni smo.

I've been waiting for this."

Čekala sam ovo."

And so we played, and about a minute later,

I igrali smo se, a minutu kasnije

the girl next to him, in a white shirt and a pink skirt,

djevojčica do njega u bijeloj majici i ružičastoj suknji,

stood up, put her hands on her hips,

ustala je, stavila ruke na kukove,

and said, "Yeah, why do you look so different?"

i rekla, "Da, zašto izgledaš toliko drugačije?"

And I went, "What are you talking about?

Rekoh, "O čemu pričaš?

I don't look different. I'm not short. Again, let's just play."

Ne izgledam drugačije. Nisam niska. Idemo se samo igrati."

About this time, I looked all around the circle I was in,

Tada sam bolje pogledala po krugu i vidjela,

and all the kids had stopped playing and they were all looking at me.

da su se sva djeca prestala igrati i gledala me.

And I'm thinking --

I mislila sam,

in today's language, it would be "OMG" or "WTF."

u današnjem bi to jeziku bilo "OMG" ili "WTF."

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

What just happened?

Što se upravo dogodilo?

So all the confidence that I went in with that morning

Svo samopouzdanje s kojim sam to jutro ušla

was withering away as the morning went on

venulo je kako je jutro odmicalo,

and the questions kept coming.

a pitanja su samo nadolazila.

And at the end of the morning, before I went home,

Na kraju jutra, prije no što sam otišla kući,

učiteljica nas je postavila u krug,

the teacher had us in a circle,

and I actually found myself outside of the circle.

i našla sam se izvan toga kruga.

I couldn't look at anybody.

Nisam nikoga mogla pogledati.

I could not understand what just happened.

Nisam razumjela što se dogodilo.

And over the next few years,

Sljedećih nekoliko godina

I hated to go out in public.

mrzila sam izlaziti u javnost.

I felt every stare, every giggle,

Osjetila sam svaki pogled, svaki hihot,

every pointed finger,

svaki upereni prst,

not the finger,

ne srednji prst,

but every pointed finger,

već svaki upereni prst,

and I hated it.

i mrzila sam to.

I would hide behind my parents' legs like nobody could see me.

Skrivala bih se iza nogu svojih roditelja, kako me nitko ne bi vidio.

And as a child,

Kao dijete,

you can't understand another child's curiosity,

ne možeš razumjeti radoznalost drugog djeteta,

nor an adult's ignorance.

niti neukost odrasle osobe.

It became very apparent to me that the real world was not built

Postalo mi je jasno da stvarni svijet nije sagrađen

for someone of my size, both literally or figuratively.

za nekoga moje veličine, i doslovce i figurativno.

And so I have no anonymity, as you can probably tell,

Nisam imala nikakve anonimnosti, kao što vjerojatno vidite,

and while you can see my size,

i dok možete vidjeti moju veličinu,

we all go through many challenges through our lifetime.

svi prolazimo kroz mnoge izazove tijekom svojih života.

And some you can see, like mine.

Neke možete vidjeti, poput mojih.

Most you can't.

Većinu ne možete.

You can't tell if someone's dealing with a mental illness,

Ne vidite kada se netko nosi s mentalnom bolešću,

or they're struggling with their gender identity,

ili kada ga muči vlastiti spolni identitet,

they're caring for an aging parent,

kada brine za starijeg roditelja,

they're having financial difficulty.

kada ima financijskih problema.

You can't see that kind of stuff.

Ne možete vidjeti takve stvari.

So while you can see

Iako možete vidjeti

one of my challenges is my size,

da je jedan od mojih izazova moja veličina,

seeing does not mean you understand

vidjeti ne znači razumjeti

what it's truly to be me on a daily basis, or what I go through.

što znači biti ja, ili kroz što prolazim svakoga dana.

And so I'm here to debunk a myth.

Tu sam kako bih pobila mit.

I do not believe you can walk in someone else's shoes,

Ne vjerujem da možeš hodati u tuđim cipelama,

and because of that, we must adopt a new way of giving of ourselves.

i baš zato moramo usvojiti nov način davanja sebe.

Simply stated, I will never know what it's like to be you

Jednostavno rečeno, nikada neću znati kako je biti vi

and you will never know what it's like to be me.

i vi nikada nećete znati kako je biti ja.

I cannot face your fears or chase your dreams,

Ne mogu se suočiti s vašim strahovima ili ganjati vaše snove,

and you can't do that for me,

ni vi to ne možete napraviti za mene,

but we can be supportive of each other.

no možemo se međusobno podržavati.

Instead of trying to walk in each other's shoes,

Umjesto hodanja u tuđim cipelama,

we must adopt a new way of giving of ourselves.

moramo usvojiti novi način davanja sebe.

I learned at an early age

Već sam u ranoj dobi naučila

that I did have to do some things different than most people,

da neke stvari moram raditi drugačije od većine ljudi,

no naučila sam i da smo u nekim stvarima ravnopravni,

but I also learned there were things I was on equal footing with,

and one of those was the classroom.

kao u učionici.

Heh, heh, heh. I was equal.

Heh, heh, heh. Bila sam jednaka.

As a matter of fact, I excelled in the classroom.

Zapravo, bila sam izvrsna na nastavi.

This was vitally important, I discovered as I grew older

To je bilo od životne važnosti, otkrila sam to kako sam odrastala

and realized I wasn't going to be able to do a physical job.

i shvatila da neću moći raditi fizički posao.

I needed an education.

Trebalo mi je obrazovanje.

So I went on and got a university degree,

Nastavila sam školovanje i diplomirala,

no mislila sam kako bih trebala biti korak ispred drugih za posao,

but I felt to be one step ahead of everyone for employment,

I needed to have an advanced university degree,

trebala sam magistrirati,

so I went ahead and got that.

pa sam to i napravila.

Now I'm ready for my interview.

Sada sam bila spremna za intervju.

Remember your first interview? What am I going to wear?

Sjećate li se svog prvog intervjua? Što ću obući?

What questions?

Koja pitanja?

And don't forget that firm handshake.

I ne smijem zaboraviti čvrst stisak kod rukovanja.

I was right there with you.

Tako je i meni bilo.

So 24 hours before my interview,

I tako, 24 sata prije intervjua,

a friend of mine who I've known all my life

prijateljica koju znam cijeli život,

called and said, "Michele, the building you're going in has steps."

nazvala me i rekla, "Michele, zgrada u koju ideš ima stepenice."

And she knew I couldn't climb steps.

A znala je da se ne mogu penjati stepenicama.

So suddenly, my focus changed.

I odjednom se moj fokus promijenio.

In my shoes, I was worried about how am I going to get there?

U svojim cipelama, zabrinula sam se kako ću tamo stići.

So I went early and found a loading dock and got in and had a great interview.

Uranila sam i našla rampu za utovar, ušla i imala odličan intervju.

They had no idea what I went through for the day and that's OK.

Nisu znali što sam sve prošla toga dana, i to je OK.

You're probably thinking my greatest challenge that day was the interview,

Vjerojatno mislite da je moj najveći izazov toga dana bio intervju,

or getting in the building.

ili ulazak u zgradu.

In reality, my biggest challenge that day

U stvarnosti, moj najveći izazov toga dana bilo je

was getting through the loading dock without getting run over.

prijeći rampu, bez da me netko pregazi.

I am very vulnerable in certain situations:

Vrlo sam ranjiva u nekim situacijama:

airports, hallways, parking lots,

u zračnim lukama, u hodnicima, na parkiralištima,

loading docks.

rampama za utovar.

And so I have to be very careful.

Zato moram biti vrlo oprezna.

I have to anticipate and be flexible

Moram moći nešto predvidjeti, biti fleksibilna

and move as quickly as I can sometimes.

i nekada se kretati što brže mogu.

So I got the job,

Dobila sam posao

and in my current role I travel quite a bit.

i trenutno zbog posla dosta putujem.

And travel is a challenge for all of us these days.

Putovanja su svima ovih dana izazov.

And so you probably get to the airport, run through security, get to the gate.

Vi vjerojatno dođete do aerodroma, prođete osiguranje, dođete do izlaza.

Did I get my aisle seat or my window seat? Did I get my upgrade?

Imam li mjesto do prolaza ili do prozora? Jesam li dobila bolji smještaj?

Me, first of all, I don't run through anything.

Ja, kao prvo, ne prolazim kroz ništa.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

And I especially don't run through the TSA

Pogotovo ne prolazim kroz osiguranje,

because I get to experience the personal patdown.

već moram tamo proći osobni pregled.

I won't comment on that.

Neću to komentirati.

And then I make my way to the gate,

Onda se uputim prema izlazu

and with my gift of gab that my parents said I was born with,

i svojim urođenim darom brbljanja, kako moji roditelji kažu,

I talk to the gate agent, and then I say, "By the way, my scooter weighs this much,

pričam s agentom na izlazu i kažem, "Usput, moj je skuter težak toliko,

I have a dry cell battery,

imam suhu bateriju,

and I can drive it down to the door of the plane."

i mogu ga voziti do ulaza u avion."

Also, the day before, I had called the city where I'm traveling to

Također, dan ranije nazvala sam grad u koji putujem,

to find out where I could rent a scooter in case mine gets broken on the way.

kako bih saznala gdje mogu unajmiti skuter ako se moj putem pokvari.

So in my shoes, it's a little bit different.

Dakle, u mojim je cipelama malo drukčije.

When I get onto the plane,

Kad uđem u avion, iskoristim svoje brbljanje

I use my gift of gab to ask the lady to put my bag up, and they graciously do.

kako bih nekog zamolila da mi podigne torbu i oni to ljubazno učine.

I try not to eat or drink on a plane

Pokušavam ne jesti ili piti u avionu,

because I don't want to have to get up and walk on the plane,

jer ne bih htjela ustajati i hodati avionom,

but nature has its own schedule,

no priroda ima svoj vlastiti raspored

and not long ago, it knocked and I answered.

i nedavno je pokucala, a ja sam morala odgovoriti.

So I walked up to the front of the plane

Došla sam do prednjeg dijela aviona,

and gabbed with the flight attendant,

brbljala sa stjuardesom

and said, "Can you watch the door? I can't reach the lock."

te pitala, "Možete li paziti na vrata? Ne mogu dosegnuti bravu."

So I'm in there doing my business, and the door flies open.

Unutra sam i obavljam svoje, i vrata se otvore.

And there's a gentleman there

Jedan je gospodin tamo

with a look of horror on his face.

s izrazom užasa na licu.

I'm sure I had the same look.

Sigurna sam da sam imala isti pogled.

As I came out, I noticed that he was sitting right across from me,

Kad sam izašla, primijetila sam da sjedi baš preko puta mene,

and he's in total, complete embarrassment.

i bilo ga je neizmjerno sram.

So I walk up to him and I quietly go,

Stoga sam mu prišla i tiho rekla,

"Are you going to remember this as much as I am?"

"Hoće li i Vama ovo ostati u pamćenju kao meni?"

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

And he goes, "I think so."

I on kaže, "Mislim da hoće."

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

Now, while he's probably not talking about it publicly, I am.

I dok on o tome vjerojatno ne govori javno, ja govorim.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

But we talked for the rest of the flight,

No, pričali smo do kraja leta

and we got to know each other, our families, sports, work,

i upoznali smo se, svoje obitelji, sportove, posao,

and when we landed, he said,

i kada smo sletjeli, rekao je,

"Michele, I noticed someone put your bag up.

"Michele, vidio sam da Vam je netko podigao torbu.

Can I get that for you?"

Mogu li Vam je dodati?"

And I said, "Of course, thank you."

Rekoh, "Naravno, hvala Vam."

And we wished each other well,

Poželjeli smo si sreću

and the most important thing that day

i najvažnija stvar tog dana

was that he was not going to leave with that embarrassment,

bila je da neće otići s tim sramom,

that experience of embarrassment.

tim osjećajem srama.

He won't forget it, and neither will I,

Neće to zaboraviti, neću ni ja,

no mislim da će se više sjećati

but I think he will remember more

our chat and our different perspectives.

našeg razgovora i naših različitih pogleda na stvari.

When you travel internationally,

Kad putuješ svijetom,

it can be even more challenging in certain ways.

može biti još izazovnije, na određene načine.

A few years ago, I was in Zanzibar,

Prije par godina bila sam u Zanzibaru,

and I come wheeling in,

i uvezem se unutra,

and think about that.

sada razmislite o tome.

Short, white, blond woman in a chair.

Niska, plavokosa bjelkinja u kolicima.

That doesn't probably happen every day.

To se vjerojatno ne događa svaki dan.

So I go up, and with my gift of gab, I start to talk to the agent.

Priđem i, svojom brbljavošću, započnem razgovor s agentom.

So friendly, and I ask about their culture and so forth,

Bio je jako srdačan pa upitam o njihovoj kulturi i slično,

and I notice there wasn't a jet bridge.

i primijetim da ne postoji most do aviona.

So I had to kind of say,

Morala sam mu reći,

"Ne samo da mi morate podići kolica,

"Not only do you have to lift my chair,

I could use some help getting up the steps."

trebala bi mi pomoć kod uspinjanja stepenicama."

So we got to spend about an hour together while we waited for the flight,

Proveli smo oko sat vremena zajedno dok smo čekali let,

and it was the most magnificent hour.

bio je to stvarno divno proveden sat.

Our perspective changed for both of us that day.

Kod oboje su se pogledi na stvari promijenili toga dana.

And once I got on the flight,

Kada sam dospjela u avion,

he patted me on the back and wished me well,

potapšao me po leđima i poželio mi dobro,

and I thanked him so much.

a ja sam mu se mnogo zahvalila.

And again, I think he's going to remember that experience more

I opet, mislim da će se više sjećati tog iskustva

than when I first came in, and there was a bit of hesitation.

nego mog prvotnog ulaska, kad je među nama bilo oklijevanja.

And as you notice, I get a lot of help.

Kao što primjećujete, ljudi mi mnogo pomažu.

I would not be where I am today

Ne bih bila tu gdje jesam danas,

if it was not for my family, my friends, my colleagues

da nema moje obitelji, mojih prijatelja, suradnika

te mnogih neznanaca,

and the many strangers

that help me every single day of my life.

koji mi pomažu doslovno svakoga dana.

And it's important that we all have a support system.

Jako je važno da svi imamo svoje sustave podrške.

Asking for help is a strength,

Tražiti pomoć je snaga,

not a weakness.

a ne slabost.

(Applause)

(Pljesak)

We all need help throughout our lifetime,

Svi trebamo pomoć tijekom svog života,

but it is just as important

no jednako je bitno,

that we are part of other people's support systems.

da smo dio sustava podrške drugim ljudima.

We must adopt that way of giving back.

Moramo usvojiti taj način vraćanja.

We all obviously have a role to play in our own successes,

Svi mi očito imamo ulogu u svojim vlastitim uspjesima,

but think about the role we have to play in other people's successes,

ali razmislite o ulozi koju imamo u uspjesima drugih ljudi,

just like people do for me every single day.

poput ljudi u mom životu svakoga dana.

It's vitally important that we help each other,

Nužno je da jedni drugima pomažemo,

because society is increasingly placing people in silos

jer društvo sve češće razdvaja ljude

based on biases and ideologies.

na temelju pristranosti i ideologija.

And we must look past the surface

Moramo gledati dalje od površine

and be confronted with the truth

i suočiti se s istinom,

that none of us are what you can see.

da nitko od nas nije samo ono što vidimo.

There's more to us than that,

Mi smo više od toga,

and we're all dealing with things that you cannot see.

i svi se suočavamo sa stvarima koje ne možeš vidjeti.

So living a life free of judgment

Živjeti bez osuđivanja

allows all of us to share those experiences together

svima nam dozvoljava da zajedno dijelimo ta iskustva

and have a totally different perspective,

i da imamo potpuno drukčije poglede,

just like the couple of people I mentioned earlier in my stories.

poput ljudi koje sam spomenula ranije u svojim pričama.

So remember, the only shoes

Zapamtite, jedine cipele

you truly can walk in are your own.

u kojima istinski možete biti, su vaše vlastite.

I cannot walk in yours.

Ne mogu hodati u vašima.

I know you can't walk in my size 1s --

Znam da ne možete hodati u onima moje veličine...

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

but you can try.

ali možete pokušati.

But we can do something better than that.

No, možemo učiniti nešto bolje od toga.

With compassion, courage and understanding,

Suosjećanjem, hrabrošću i razumijevanjem

we can walk side by side

možemo hodati jedno pored drugog

and support one another,

i podupirati se,

and think about how society can change

razmisliti koliko se društvo može promijeniti

if we all do that

ako učinimo sve to,

instead of judging on only what you can see.

umjesto osuđivanja na temelju onog što vidimo.

Thank you.

Hvala vam.

(Applause)

(Pljesak)

Thank you.

Hvala.