Asking for help is a strength, not a weakness | Michele L. Sullivan

翻译人员: melody sun 校对人员: Yanyan Hong

We all have milestones in life that we remember so vividly.

我们的生命中都有难以忘怀的 具有里程碑意义的时刻。

The first one for me was when I was entering kindergarten.

我的第一个里程碑是 刚进幼儿园的时候。

My big brother was in school, and by golly, it was my time.

我的哥哥在学校里， 我的天，那就是我的时代。

And I went trottin' down that hallway.

我在走廊里一路小跑，

I was so excited, I almost wet myself.

激动得差点尿裤子。

And I go to the door,

然后我到了门口，

and there was the teacher with a warm welcome,

有个老师站在那里热情地欢迎我，

and she took me into the classroom,

她带我去了教室，

showed me my little cubbyhole --

带我看了我的小储藏柜 ——

we all remember those little cubbyholes, don't we --

大家都记得那些小储藏柜吧 ——

and we put our stuff in there.

然后我们把自己的东西放在那里。

And then she said, "Go over to the circle

接着她说，“在上课前，

and play with the kids until class starts."

去那边跟其他小朋友一起玩吧。”

So I went over there and plopped down like I owned the place,

于是我走过去，一屁股坐下来， 就像这是我的地盘一样，

and I'm playing,

我正在专心地玩，

and all of a sudden, the boy next to me,

突然，一个坐在旁边的小男孩，

he was wearing a white shirt with blue shorts.

他穿了白色的T恤和蓝色的短裤，

I remember it like it was yesterday.

我记得非常清楚。

Suddenly he stopped playing and he said,

他突然停下了，然后说，

"Why are you so short?"

“你为什么这么矮？”

And I just kept playing. I didn't think he was talking to me.

我仍然自顾自地玩， 没觉得他在跟我说话。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

And in a louder voice, he said,

然后他抬高了声音，

"Hey, why are you so short?"

“喂，你为什么这么矮？”

So I looked up and I said,

我抬头看着他说，

"What are you talking about? Let's just play. We're happy.

"你在说什么啊接着玩吧。多好玩啊。

I've been waiting for this."

我一直很期待呐。“

And so we played, and about a minute later,

于是我们就接着玩， 过了大概一分钟，

the girl next to him, in a white shirt and a pink skirt,

一个坐在他旁边的女孩， 穿了一件白色的T恤和粉色的裙子，

stood up, put her hands on her hips,

站了起来，掐着腰说，

and said, "Yeah, why do you look so different?"

“对啊，你为什么看起来这么不一样？”

And I went, "What are you talking about?

然后我说，“你在说什么啊？

I don't look different. I'm not short. Again, let's just play."

我没有哪里不一样啊， 也不矮啊。接着玩吧。”

About this time, I looked all around the circle I was in,

差不多这个时候， 我看了看我在的这个圈子，

and all the kids had stopped playing and they were all looking at me.

所有的小朋友都停下了， 不约而同地看着我。

And I'm thinking --

我在想 ——

in today's language, it would be "OMG" or "WTF."

用现在的话来说应该是 “我的天”或者“他X的搞什么。”

(Laughter)

（笑声）

What just happened?

刚刚发生了什么？

So all the confidence that I went in with that morning

结果我早上进门前拥有的所有自信，

was withering away as the morning went on

随着时间的流逝，在各种各样的问题中

and the questions kept coming.

渐渐消失殆尽了。

And at the end of the morning, before I went home,

临近中午，在我回家前，

老师让我们围成一个圈，

the teacher had us in a circle,

and I actually found myself outside of the circle.

然后我发现自己在圈外。

I couldn't look at anybody.

我没办法看任何一个人。

我没法理解刚刚发生了什么。

I could not understand what just happened.

And over the next few years,

在接下来的几年，

I hated to go out in public.

我痛恨去公共场合。

I felt every stare, every giggle,

我能感受到每个眼神，每个笑声，

every pointed finger,

每个指指点点的行为，

not the finger,

不是手指，

but every pointed finger,

是每次的指指点点，

and I hated it.

我痛恨它们。

I would hide behind my parents' legs like nobody could see me.

我会藏在爸妈的身后， 这样好像就没有人能看到我。

And as a child,

在孩童时期，

you can't understand another child's curiosity,

你没办法理解另一个孩子的好奇心，

nor an adult's ignorance.

或者是一个成年人的不理睬。

It became very apparent to me that the real world was not built

我很快就发现这个世界 并不适合我这种体型的人，

for someone of my size, both literally or figuratively.

不管是字面上的还是比喻上的。

And so I have no anonymity, as you can probably tell,

我也根本不能隐藏于人群中， 你们可能也看得出来。

and while you can see my size,

像你们看到的我的体型，

we all go through many challenges through our lifetime.

我们在一生中都会 经历各种各样的挑战。

And some you can see, like mine.

有些是能被看到的，像我这种情况。

Most you can't.

大多数是看不到的。

You can't tell if someone's dealing with a mental illness,

你没办法知道一个人 是不是在对抗着精神疾病，

or they're struggling with their gender identity,

或者在性取向中挣扎，

they're caring for an aging parent,

在照料一对老去的父母，

they're having financial difficulty.

亦或是有经济困难。

You can't see that kind of stuff.

你看不到这些东西。

So while you can see

所以很明显，

one of my challenges is my size,

我的挑战之一是我的体型，

seeing does not mean you understand

但看见并不代表你能理解

what it's truly to be me on a daily basis, or what I go through.

如果你是我会是个什么感受， 或者我经历了什么。

And so I'm here to debunk a myth.

所以我要揭露一个秘密。

I do not believe you can walk in someone else's shoes,

我不相信你能完完全全 感受到另一个人的感受，

and because of that, we must adopt a new way of giving of ourselves.

正因为这一点，我们必须 采纳一种新的付出的方式。

Simply stated, I will never know what it's like to be you

简单来说，我永远都不知道 成为你是什么感觉，

and you will never know what it's like to be me.

你也永远不会知道 成为我是什么感觉。

I cannot face your fears or chase your dreams,

我没办法面对 你的恐惧或者追逐你的梦想，

and you can't do that for me,

你也不能为我做这些，

but we can be supportive of each other.

但我们可以互相支持。

Instead of trying to walk in each other's shoes,

不只是试着理解另一个人的感受，

we must adopt a new way of giving of ourselves.

取而代之的，我们应该 接受一种全新的付出方式。

I learned at an early age

我从很小的时候就学到

that I did have to do some things different than most people,

我不需要做跟大多数人 不一样的事情，

我还学到有很多事情是公平的，

but I also learned there were things I was on equal footing with,

and one of those was the classroom.

其中之一就是教室。

Heh, heh, heh. I was equal.

哈哈哈，我是平等的。

As a matter of fact, I excelled in the classroom.

实际上，我在学校是尖子生。

This was vitally important, I discovered as I grew older

这个非常的重要， 在慢慢长大的过程中我发现

and realized I wasn't going to be able to do a physical job.

并意识到我没办法做体力活，

I needed an education.

我需要教育。

So I went on and got a university degree,

所以我接着学习，拿到了大学文凭，

但为了找工作， 我必须要显得比其他人更有优势，

but I felt to be one step ahead of everyone for employment,

I needed to have an advanced university degree,

我需要一个高等学历，

所以我又拿到了那个。

so I went ahead and got that.

Now I'm ready for my interview.

现在我为面试做好了准备。

Remember your first interview? What am I going to wear?

记得你的第一次面试么？ 我要穿什么？

What questions?

会提什么问题？

And don't forget that firm handshake.

别忘了那个适度的握手。

I was right there with you.

我跟你们一模一样。

So 24 hours before my interview,

面试前的24个小时，

a friend of mine who I've known all my life

我的一个发小

called and said, "Michele, the building you're going in has steps."

打给我说，“米歇尔， 你要面试的楼有台阶。”

And she knew I couldn't climb steps.

她知道我爬不了台阶。

So suddenly, my focus changed.

于是乎，我的关注重心突然改变了。

In my shoes, I was worried about how am I going to get there?

在我脑子里，我开始担心 我要怎么到那个地方？

So I went early and found a loading dock and got in and had a great interview.

所以我早早地去了，找了一个装车的升降台， 然后进去体验了一个很棒的面试。

They had no idea what I went through for the day and that's OK.

他们并不知道我那天 经历了什么，但没有关系。

You're probably thinking my greatest challenge that day was the interview,

你可能在想我那天 最大的挑战是面试，

or getting in the building.

或者是进入那个楼。

In reality, my biggest challenge that day

实际上，我那天最大的挑战是

was getting through the loading dock without getting run over.

从装车升降台上安稳下来不摔跤。

I am very vulnerable in certain situations:

我在一些情况下非常的脆弱：

airports, hallways, parking lots,

机场，走廊，停车场，

loading docks.

升降台。

And so I have to be very careful.

所以我必须非常小心。

I have to anticipate and be flexible

我必须有意识而且要很灵活，

and move as quickly as I can sometimes.

有时我动作还要非常快。

So I got the job,

然后我拿到了那份工作，

and in my current role I travel quite a bit.

在我的职位上我时常要出差。

And travel is a challenge for all of us these days.

出门旅行现在对每个人都是挑战。

And so you probably get to the airport, run through security, get to the gate.

你得先跑到机场， 跑过安检，再跑进登机口。

Did I get my aisle seat or my window seat? Did I get my upgrade?

我有没有拿到我的过道座位 或者靠窗座位？他们帮我升舱了么？

Me, first of all, I don't run through anything.

对于我来说，第一，我不跑。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

And I especially don't run through the TSA

我尤其不跑过安检

because I get to experience the personal patdown.

因为我得经历个人的全身搜查。

I won't comment on that.

我就不评论了。

And then I make my way to the gate,

然后我到了登机口，

and with my gift of gab that my parents said I was born with,

用我爸妈的话说， 我有扯废话的天赋，

I talk to the gate agent, and then I say, "By the way, my scooter weighs this much,

我跟登机口人员说话， 告诉他们，“我的小车大概这么重，

I have a dry cell battery,

有一个电池在里面，

and I can drive it down to the door of the plane."

我可以自己开到飞机舱门口。”

Also, the day before, I had called the city where I'm traveling to

而且，提前一天， 我得打给我的目的地城市，

to find out where I could rent a scooter in case mine gets broken on the way.

找到一个我可以租移动小车的地方， 以防我的小车在半路坏掉。

So in my shoes, it's a little bit different.

所以我的情况有点不同。

When I get onto the plane,

当我到了飞机上，

I use my gift of gab to ask the lady to put my bag up, and they graciously do.

我又利用谈话的天赋让空姐帮我把 包放在上面的行李架，她们都很友好地帮了我。

I try not to eat or drink on a plane

我在飞机上尽量不吃不喝，

because I don't want to have to get up and walk on the plane,

因为我不想在飞机上站起来和走动，

but nature has its own schedule,

但是大自然有它的规律，

and not long ago, it knocked and I answered.

于是不久前，这个规律应验了。

So I walked up to the front of the plane

我走到飞机的前面，

and gabbed with the flight attendant,

跟一位空乘人员聊天，

and said, "Can you watch the door? I can't reach the lock."

然后说，“你可以帮我 开一下厕所门吗？我够不着锁。"

So I'm in there doing my business, and the door flies open.

我在上厕所的时候， 门突然“唰”的开了。

And there's a gentleman there

一个绅士站在那里

with a look of horror on his face.

惊恐地看着我。

I'm sure I had the same look.

我确定我也是那个表情。

As I came out, I noticed that he was sitting right across from me,

我出来以后发现他坐在我对面，

and he's in total, complete embarrassment.

满脸的尴尬。

So I walk up to him and I quietly go,

所以我走向他然后轻轻地说，

"Are you going to remember this as much as I am?"

”你会比我对这件事记忆更深刻么？“

(Laughter)

（笑声）

And he goes, "I think so."

然后他说，“我觉得会。”

(Laughter)

（笑声）

Now, while he's probably not talking about it publicly, I am.

但现在他可能不会 公开讲这件事，但我会。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

But we talked for the rest of the flight,

但我们在下面整个航行中都在聊天，

and we got to know each other, our families, sports, work,

我们了解了对方的 家庭，运动，工作，

and when we landed, he said,

当我们落地的时候，他说，

"Michele, I noticed someone put your bag up.

“米歇尔，我发现有人 把你的包放上去了。

Can I get that for you?"

我可以帮你拿下来么？”

And I said, "Of course, thank you."

我说，“当然，谢谢。”

And we wished each other well,

然后我们互相道别，祝福。

and the most important thing that day

那天最重要的是

was that he was not going to leave with that embarrassment,

他不会在尴尬的感觉中，

that experience of embarrassment.

或者尴尬的体验中离开。

He won't forget it, and neither will I,

他不会忘记，我也不会，

但我认为他记住的更多的是

but I think he will remember more

our chat and our different perspectives.

我们的聊天内容和我们不一样的观点。

When you travel internationally,

当你坐国际航班的时候，

it can be even more challenging in certain ways.

会有更多的挑战。

A few years ago, I was in Zanzibar,

几年前，我在桑几巴尔岛 （非洲坦桑尼亚东北部）

and I come wheeling in,

坐着我的小车，

and think about that.

你们想想看，

Short, white, blond woman in a chair.

一个矮小的，白皮肤，黄头发的 女人坐在一个小椅子上。

That doesn't probably happen every day.

并不太常见。

So I go up, and with my gift of gab, I start to talk to the agent.

所以我上前，再次用我的 谈话天赋，跟工作人员聊天。

So friendly, and I ask about their culture and so forth,

我很友好地询问他们的文化什么的，

and I notice there wasn't a jet bridge.

然后我发现那里没有 从候机舱通往飞机的通道。

所以我得说，

So I had to kind of say,

"Not only do you have to lift my chair,

“你不仅得帮我抬座椅，

I could use some help getting up the steps."

还需要帮我上机舱的台阶。”

So we got to spend about an hour together while we waited for the flight,

所以我们在等待飞机的时候 花了大概一小时的时间，

and it was the most magnificent hour.

那是非常非常棒的一小时。

Our perspective changed for both of us that day.

我们两个人的观点都发生了改变。

And once I got on the flight,

当我上了飞机，

he patted me on the back and wished me well,

他拍拍我的背然后送上最好的祝愿，

and I thanked him so much.

我表示了感谢。

And again, I think he's going to remember that experience more

再一次，我觉得他对这次经历的记忆 会比我刚进来的时候多，

than when I first came in, and there was a bit of hesitation.

那时候内心多少还有犹豫。

And as you notice, I get a lot of help.

你们可能发现了， 我得到很多帮助。

I would not be where I am today

如果没有我的家人，朋友，我的同事，

if it was not for my family, my friends, my colleagues

还有很多很多的陌生人

and the many strangers

每天都帮助我，

that help me every single day of my life.

我今天不可能在这里。

And it's important that we all have a support system.

我们能拥有互相帮助的 意愿是很重要的。

Asking for help is a strength,

寻求帮助是一种勇气，

not a weakness.

不是弱点。

(Applause)

（鼓掌）

We all need help throughout our lifetime,

我们在一生中都需要帮助，

but it is just as important

但我们帮助别人

that we are part of other people's support systems.

也是一件同等重要的事。

We must adopt that way of giving back.

我们必须接纳报答的方式。

We all obviously have a role to play in our own successes,

很明显，我们在自己的人生中 都扮演着很重要的角色，

but think about the role we have to play in other people's successes,

但想想我们在别人的人生中的角色，

就像大家每天为我做的事。

just like people do for me every single day.

It's vitally important that we help each other,

互相帮助至关重要，

because society is increasingly placing people in silos

因为社会在一天天地孤立每个人，

based on biases and ideologies.

只是根据对事物的偏见和愚蠢的看法。

And we must look past the surface

我们必须看透表面，

and be confronted with the truth

接受一个事实，

that none of us are what you can see.

那就是，没有人是你看到的样子。

There's more to us than that,

每个人都有更多面，

而且我们在纠结你看不到的事情。

and we're all dealing with things that you cannot see.

So living a life free of judgment

所以愿你我过一个 不去评价他人的人生，

allows all of us to share those experiences together

能让我们一起分享自己的经历，

and have a totally different perspective,

然后以不同的眼光去看待这个世界，

just like the couple of people I mentioned earlier in my stories.

就像我在之前的故事里提到的那些人。

So remember, the only shoes

所以记住，你能完全理解的

you truly can walk in are your own.

只有你自己。

I cannot walk in yours.

我没办法穿着你的鞋行走。

I know you can't walk in my size 1s --

我也知道你穿不了我1码的鞋 ——

(Laughter)

（笑声）

but you can try.

但你可以试试看。

But we can do something better than that.

但我们可以做些更好的事。

With compassion, courage and understanding,

带着同情心，勇气和理解，

we can walk side by side

我们可以肩并肩向前走，

and support one another,

互相支持，

and think about how society can change

想想社会会发生什么样的改变，

if we all do that

如果我们都做到这些，

instead of judging on only what you can see.

而不是根据你看到的去评判别人。

Thank you.

谢谢。

(Applause)

（掌声）

Thank you.

谢谢。