Where does creativity hide? | Amy Tan

Translator: Teda Kokoneshi Reviewer: Jonada Rrapo

The Value of Nothing: Out of Nothing Comes Something.

Vlera e hiçit: diçka del prej hiçit.

That was an essay I wrote when I was 11 years old

Eshte titulli i nje eseje qe shkrova kur isha 11 vjec

and I got a B+. (Laughter)

Dhe mora nje B+ (Te qeshura)

What I'm going to talk about: nothing out of something, and how we create.

Ajo per cfare do te flas: asgje nga dicka, dhe menyra si krijojme.

And I'm gonna try and do that within

Dhe do perpiqem ta bej kete

the 18-minute time span that we were told to stay within,

ne hapesiren kohore te 18 minutave brenda se ciles na kane udhezuar te qendrojme

and to follow the TED commandments:

e gjithashtu do te ndjek urdheresat e TED

that is, actually, something that creates

tekstualisht:te flas per dicka qe krijon

a near-death experience,

nje eksperience me afer-vdekjen

but near-death is good for creativity.

por afer-vdekja ben mire per krijimtarine.

(Laughter) OK.

(Te qeshura) OK.

So, I also want to explain,

Dua gjithashtu te shpjegoj

because Dave Eggers said he was going to heckle me

sepse Dejv Egerz tha se s'do te me linte te qete

if I said anything that was a lie, or not true to universal creativity.

nese thosha ndonje genjehter apo ndonje te pavertete lidhur me krijimtarine universale.

And I've done it this way for half the audience, who is scientific.

E kam bere ne kete menyre per gjysmen e audiences, ate shkencoren.

When I say we, I don't mean you, necessarily;

Kur them ne, jo gjithmone ju nenkuptoj ju.

I mean me, and my right brain, my left brain

Nenkuptoj mua, dhe trurin tim te djathte. I majti

and the one that's in between that is the censor

dhe ai qe eshte ne mes eshte sensor

and tells me what I'm saying is wrong.

dhe me tregon se ku po gaboj tek flas.

And I'm going do that also by looking at

Do ta bej kete edhe duke iu referuar

what I think is part of my creative process,

asaj cka mendoj se esht pjese e procesit tim krijues

which includes a number of things that happened, actually --

qe perfshin disa gjera qe ne fakt ndodhen, ekzistojne-

the nothing started even earlier than the moment

sepse asgjeja nisi edhe me heret se casti

in which I'm creating something new.

ne te cilin krijoj dicka te re.

And that includes nature, and nurture,

Kjo perfshin natyren, kushtezimin,

and what I refer to as nightmares.

dhe ato te cilat i quaj makthe.

Now in the nature area, we look at whether or not

Tek flasim per natyren, i referohemi

we are innately equipped with something, perhaps

pranise te dickaje qe ne lindje, mbase

in our brains, some abnormal chromosome

ne tru, ndonje kromozom anormal

that causes this muse-like effect.

qe shkakton kete efekt muze.

And some people would say that we're born with it in some other means.

E disa njerez do te thoshin se kemi lindur te tille,

And others, like my mother,

e te tjere, si mamaja ime

would say that I get my material from past lives.

do te thoshin se e marr lenden e pare nga jetet e shkuara.

Some people would also say that creativity

Disa njerez mund te thoshin se krijimtaria

may be a function of some other neurological quirk --

eshte fuksion i ndonje ceni neurologjik

van Gogh syndrome -- that you have a little bit of, you know, psychosis, or depression.

si sindroma Van Gogh- nje forme e lehte psikoze, apo depresioni.

I do have to say, somebody -- I read recently

Ne fakt lexova se fundi se

that van Gogh wasn't really necessarily psychotic,

s'eshte e sigurt nese Van Gogh vuante nga nje psikoze.

that he might have had temporal lobe seizures,

se mund te kete pasur epilepsi ne lobin temporal

and that might have caused his spurt of creativity, and I don't --

gjendje e cila ka shkaktuar shperthimin e tij krijues,

I suppose it does something in some part of your brain.

dhe besoj se kjo ka njefare ndikimi ne ndonje pjese te trurit.

And I will mention that I actually developed

Do permend se edhe une pesova

temporal lobe seizures a number of years ago,

kriza epileptike te lobit temporal disa vite me pare.

but it was during the time I was writing my last book,

Kjo ndodhi gjate kohes kur po shkruja librin tim me te fundit

and some people say that book is quite different.

e disa njerez thone se ai liber ka nje ndjesi ndryshe.

I think that part of it also begins with a sense of identity crisis:

Mendoj se ne njefare mase kjo buron nga nje krize identiteti

you know, who am I, why am I this particular person,

te tipit: kush jam?; perse jam pikerisht ky person?

why am I not black like everybody else?

pse s'jam e zeze si gjithe te tjeret?

And sometimes you're equipped with skills,

E ndonjehere te jane dhene aftesi

but they may not be the kind of skills that enable creativity.

por ato s'jane ato qe duhen per te mundesuar krijimtarine.

I used to draw. I thought I would be an artist.

Vizatoja dikur. Mendoja se do te behesha piktore.

And I had a miniature poodle.

Kisha nje qen barboncino nano .

And it wasn't bad, but it wasn't really creative.

Nuk isha keq por jo shum krijuese.

Because all I could really do was represent in a very one-on-one way.

Sepse gjithcka qe beja ishte nje perfaqesim shume identik

And I have a sense that I probably copied this from a book.

Dhe kam ndjesine se e kam kopjuar nga nje liber.

And then, I also wasn't really shining in a certain area that I wanted to be,

Per me teper nuk eshte se po shkelqeja ne fushen ku doja te isha,

and you know, you look at those scores, and it wasn't bad,

ne fakt kur vjen puna tek notat, nk ishin shume keq,

but it was not certainly predictive that I would one day make

por ishte e qarte se nuk parashikonin qe nje dite

my living out of the artful arrangement of words.

do ta nxirrja buken nga arranxhimi artistik i fjaleve.

Also, one of the principles of creativity is to have a little childhood trauma.

Nje parim i krijimtarise eshte te kesh ndonje trauma nga femijeria.

And I had the usual kind that I think a lot of people had,

Une pata ate lloj qe mendoj se e kane pasur shume njerez:

and that is that, you know, I had expectations placed on me.

kishte njerez qe prisnin dicka nga une.

That figure right there, by the way,

Sa per ate figuren aty

figure right there was a toy given to me when I was but nine years old,

eshte nje loder qe mu dha kur isha vetem 9 vjec

and it was to help me become a doctor from a very early age.

qellimi i se ciles ishte te me ndihmonte te behesha doktoreshe ne nje moshe te njome.

I have some ones that were long lasting: from the age of five to 15,

Kam disa qe qene me jetegjate: nga mosha 5 deri ne 15

this was supposed to be my side occupation,

ky duhej te ishte zanati im i dyte

and it led to a sense of failure.

qe me shtyu te provoja shijen e deshtimit.

But actually, there was something quite real in my life

E megjithate ne jeten time perjetova dicka mjaft reale

that happened when I was about 14.

qe ndodhi kur isha 14 vjec.

And it was discovered that my brother, in 1967, and then my father,

Zbuluam se im vella ne 1967, e me pas im ate,

six months later, had brain tumors.

6 muaj me vone, kishin tumore ne tru.

And my mother believed that something had gone wrong,

Ime me besonte se dicka kish shkuar keq

and she was gonna find out what it was, and she was gonna fix it.

dhe ajo do gjente se cfare. Dhe do ta ndreqte.

My father was a Baptist minister, and he believed in miracles,

Babai ishte nje klerik Baptist, u besonte mrekullirave

and that God's will would take care of that.

besonte se Zoti do te merrej me situaten.

But, of course, they ended up dying, six months apart.

Ata, sigurisht, vdiqen brenda 6 muajve.

And after that, my mother believed that it was fate, or curses

Dhe ime me besonte se ky qe fati, apo nje mallkim

-- she went looking through all the reasons in the universe

dhe kerkoi per tere arsyet e mundura ne bote

why this would have happened.

qe mund te kishin sjelle fatkeqesine.

Everything except randomness. She did not believe in randomness.

Githcka pervec rastesise. Nuk u besonte rastesive.

There was a reason for everything.

Duhej nje arsye per cdo gje.

And one of the reasons, she thought, was that her mother,

Dhe nje arsye, sipas saj, ishte se e ema

who had died when she was very young, was angry at her.

e cila kish vdekur shume e re, qe zemeruar me te bijen.

And so, I had this notion of death all around me,

Me rrethonte vdekja

because my mother also believed that I would be next, and she would be next.

sepse nena ime mendonte gjithashtu se rradhen e kisha une, e me pas ajo.

And when you are faced with the prospect of death very soon,

Kur perballesh me perspektiven e vdekjes, shpejt fillon

you begin to think very much about everything.

shume mbi gjithcka.

You become very creative, in a survival sense.

Behesh shume krijues, ne nje sens te mbijeteses.

And this, then, led to my big questions.

Kjo pastaj nxiti pyetjet e mia me rendesi.

And they're the same ones that I have today.

Jane te njejtat qe kam edhe sot.

And they are: why do things happen, and how do things happen?

Pse ndodhin disa gjera, dhe si ndodhin?

And the one my mother asked: how do I make things happen?

Ndersa pyetja e nenes sime ishte: Si i shkaktojme gjerat?

It's a wonderful way to look at these questions, when you write a story.

Te shkruash eshte nje menyre e mrekulluesme per t'u angazhuar me keto pyetje.

Because, after all, in that framework, between page one and 300,

Tek e fundit, ne nje kornize, midis faqes se pare dhe se 300es,

you have to answer this question of why things happen, how things happen,

duhet te shpjegosh pse ndodhin gjerat, si ndodhin,

in what order they happen. What are the influences?

cfare rendi ndjekin. Cilat jane ndikimet?

How do I, as the narrator, as the writer, also influence that?

Gjithahshtu si ndikoj une si rrefimtare tek to?

And it's also one that, I think, many of our scientists have been asking.

Eshte edhe dicka te cilen shume nga shkencetaret tane jane perpjekur ta shpjegojne.

It's a kind of cosmology, and I have to develop a cosmology of my own universe,

Eshte nje lloj kozmologjie, dhe une duhet te zhvilloj nje kozmologji per uuniversin tim

as the creator of that universe.

njelloj si krijuesi i universit.

And you see, there's a lot of back and forth

Eshte nje rruge me shume kthesa

in trying to make that happen, trying to figure it out

kjo perpjekje per te pare qarte me

-- years and years, oftentimes.

vite e vite te tera, shpesh-here.

So, when I look at creativity, I also think that it is this sense or this inability

Keshtu kur mendoj krijimarine, gjithashtu them se eshte ky sens pazotesie

to repress, my looking at associations in practically anything in life.

per te mposhtur ate obsesion qe me ben te shoh lidhje mes gjithckaje ne jete.

And I got a lot of them during what's been going on

Bera shume te tilla

throughout this conference,

gjate perpjekjes per te shpjeguar

almost everything that's been going on.

thuajse gjithcka qe ndodh

And so I'm going to use, as the metaphor, this association:

Do te perdor, ne rolin e metafores, kete lidhje:

quantum mechanics, which I really don't understand,

mekanika kuantike, dicka qe s'e kuptoj aspak,

but I'm still gonna use it as the process

por qe do ta perdor ne procesin

for explaining how it is the metaphor.

per te shpjeguar si funksionon si metafore.

So, in quantum mechanics, of course, you have dark energy and dark matter.

Ne mekaniken kuantike sigurisht, flitet per energji te erret dhe lende te erret.

And it's the same thing in looking at these questions of how things happen.

E njejta gje ndodh kur u drejtohemi pyetjeve se si ndodhin gjerat.

There's a lot of unknown, and you often don't know what it is except by its absence.

Ka shume te panjohura, dhe shpesh s'dallon ate qe eshte vecse nepermjet mungeses se saj.

But when you make those associations,

Por kur ben keto shoqerime,

you want them to come together in a kind of synergy in the story,

deshiron qe ato te vijne se bashku ne nje tregim permes nje sinergjie

and what you're finding is what matters. The meaning.

dhe cfare gjen eshte ajo qe ka rendesi. Kuptimi.

And that's what I look for in my work, a personal meaning.

Kete kerkoj ne punen time. Nje kuptim vetjak.

There is also the uncertainty principle, which is part of quantum mechanics,

Pastaj eshte parimi i pasigurise, qe eshte edhe pjese e mekanikes kuantike,

as I understand it. (Laughter)

ashtu sic e kuptoj une. (Te qeshura)

And this happens constantly in the writing.

Ndeshem me te rendom tek shkruaj.

And there's the terrible and dreaded observer effect,

Eshte pastaj, edhe i shume druajturi, i tmerrshmi efekt i vezhguesit

in which you're looking for something, and

ne te cilin kerkon dicka, dhe

you know, things are happening simultaneously,

gjerat po ndodhin njekohesisht,

and you're looking at it in a different way,

ti sheh nga nje kendveshtrim tjeter

and you're trying to really look for the about-ness,

perpiqesh te shohesh se per cfare behet fjale.

or what is this story about. And if you try too hard,

Do te gjesh mesazhin, kuptimin e pergjithesuar .

then you will only write the about.

Po u mundove shume do te shkruash vetem mesazhin.

You won't discover anything.

S'do te zbulosh asgje

And what you were supposed to find,

Dhe ajo cfare duhet te gjesh

what you hoped to find in some serendipitous way,

cfare shpresoje te gjeje, ndonje rastesi me fat

is no longer there.

s'eshte me aty.

Now, I don't want to ignore

Por nuk dua te anashkaloj

the other side of what happens in our universe,

anen tjeter te medaljes ne univers

like many of our scientists have.

sic kane bere shume shkencetare.

And so, I am going to just throw in string theory here,

Kestu do te fus ne diskutim teorine e kordave,

and just say that creative people are multidimensional,

e do te shtoj vetem se njerezit krijues jane shume-permasore

and there are 11 levels, I think, of anxiety.

dhe sipas meje ka 11 nivele ankthi.

(Laughter) And they all operate at the same time.

(Te qeshura) Dhe te gjitha ato veprojne ne te njejten kohe.

There is also a big question of ambiguity.

Ekzison nje pyetje rreth dickaje qe mbetet e paqarte.

And I would link that to something called the cosmological constant.

Dua ta lidh kete me dicka qe quhet konstantja kozmologjike.

And you don't know what is operating, but something is operating there.

Nuk kuptohet se c'po vepron por dicka po vepron atje.

And ambiguity, to me, is very uncomfortable

Paqartesia per mua eshte teper e sikletshme

in my life, and I have it. Moral ambiguity.

dhe e kam ne jeten time. Paqartesi morale.

It is constantly there. And, just as an example,

Eshte aty ne menyre te vazhdueshme. Thjesht si shembull,

this is one that recently came to me.

kjo me ndodhi kohet e fundit.

It was something I read in an editorial by a woman

E lexova ne nje kryeartikull nga nje grua

who was talking about the war in Iraq. And she said,

qe po fliste rreth luftes ne Irak. Dhe tha,

"Save a man from drowning, you are responsible to him for life."

"Shpeto nje njeri nga mbytja, dhe je pergjegjes ndaj tij gjithe jeten".

A very famous Chinese saying, she said.

Nje thenie shume e famshme kineze, tha ajo.

And that means because we went into Iraq, we should stay there

Do te thote se meqe shkuam ne Irak, duhet te qendrojme

until things were solved. You know, maybe even 100 years.

deri sa gjerat te zgjidhen. E keni parasysh? Ndoshta edhe 100 vjet.

So, there was another one that I came across,

Ndodhi qe te hasja edhe 1 shprehje tjeter,

and it's "saving fish from drowning."

"te shpetosh nje peshk nga mbytja"

And it's what Buddhist fishermen say,

E perdorin peshkataret Budiste

because they're not supposed to kill anything.

sepse nuk u lejohet te vrasin asgje.

And they also have to make a living, and people need to be fed.

Por edhe ata duhet te sigurojne 1 jetese, te ushqejne njerezit e tyre.

So their way of rationalizing that is they are saving the fish from drowning,

Dhe gjejne arsyetimin se po shpetojne peshqit nga mbytja,

and unfortunately, in the process the fish die.

por fatkeqesisht ata vdesin gjate procesit.

Now, what's encapsulated in both these drowning metaphors

Kuptimi qe vjen i mbartur ne te dyja keto metafora mbytjeje

-- actually, one of them is my mother's interpretation,

--ne fakt nje prej tyre eshte interpretimi i nenes sime,

and it is a famous Chinese saying, because she said it to me:

dhe eshte nje shprehje e famshem kineze sepse ma tha ajo:

"save a man from drowning, you are responsible to him for life."

"Shpeto dike nga mbytja, e do te jesh i pergjegjshem per te gjithe jeten."

And it was a warning -- don't get involved in other people's business,

Ishte nje kercenim-- mos u perfshi ne punet e te tjereve

or you're going to get stuck.

ose do te ngecesh ne to.

OK. I think if somebody really was drowning, she'd save them.

Ok. Mendoj se po te shihte verte dike duke u mbytur, ajo do ta shpetonte.

But, both of these sayings -- saving a fish from drowning,

Por te dyja shpehjet, te shpetosh nje peshk nga mbytja,

or saving a man from drowning -- to me they had to do with intentions.

apo nje njeri nga mbytja, sipas meje kane te bejne me qellimet.

And all of us in life, when we see a situation, we have a response.

Dhe te gjithe ne jete kane pergjigje per situata te ndryshme ne jete.

And then we have intentions.

Pastaj kemi qellime.

There's an ambiguity of what that should be that we should do,

Ne fillim jemi te pasigurt se c'duhet te bejme

and then we do something.

por pastaj bejme dicka.

And the results of that may not match what our intentions had been.

Dhe rezultati mund te mos perkoje me me qellimet tona.

Maybe things go wrong. And so, after that, what are our responsibilities?

Mbase gjerat shkojne keq. E me pas cilat jane pergjegjesite tona?

What are we supposed to do?

C'duhet te bejme?

Do we stay in for life,

Mbetemi fajtore perjete,

or do we do something else and justify and say, well, my intentions were good,

apo bejme dicka tjeter per tu justifikiuar dhe themi, epo mire, qellimet i kisha te mira

and therefore I cannot be held responsible for all of it?

kshtuqe s'jam pergjegjes une per cdo gje.

That is the ambiguity in my life

Kjo eshte paqartesia ne jeten time

that really disturbed me, and led me to write a book called

qe me shqetesoi shume dhe me beri te shkruaj librin

"Saving Fish From Drowning."

"Te shpetosh peshq nga mbytja"

I saw examples of that. Once I identified this question, it was all over the place.

Pashe shembuj te kesaj pasi kisa identifikuar pyetjen. Ishte anekend, kudo.

I got these hints everywhere.

Gjeja gjurme te saj kudo.

And then, in a way, I knew that they had always been there.

Pastaj ne njefare menyre, e kuptova se kishin qene gjithnje te pranishme.

And then writing, that's what happens. I get these hints, these clues,

Kjo ndodh edhe kur shkruaj. Gjej shenja, sinjale,

and I realize that they've been obvious, and yet they have not been.

dhe kuptoj se kane qene te dukshme dhe te padukshme njekohesisht.

And what I need, in effect, is a focus.

Ajo cka me nevojitet ne fakt eshte nje fokus.

And when I have the question, it is a focus.

Dhe nese kam nje pyetje, ajo eshte fokusi im.

And all these things that seem to be flotsam and jetsam in life actually go through

Dhe cdo gje qe duket se qendron pezull a thjesht lekundet ne rrymen e shpejte te jetes

that question, and what happens is those particular things become relevant.

filtrohet permes kesaj pyetje, dhe pikerisht keto gjera marrin kuptim.

And it seems like it's happening all the time.

Duket sikur kjo ndodh gjithmone.

You think there's a sort of coincidence going on, a serendipity,

Mund te ngjaje sikut ka nje lloj koincidence, nje rastesi me fat,

in which you're getting all this help from the universe.

ku ti po merr ndihme nga gjithe universi.

And it may also be explained that now you have a focus.

Po ashtu mund te shpjegohet se tani ke nje fokus.

And you are noticing it more often.

Dhe po e ve re me shpesh.

But you apply this.

Por e aplikon kete.

You begin to look at things having to do with your tensions.

Fillon te shohesh gjerat qe kane te bejne me tensionet e tua.

Your brother, who's fallen in trouble, do you take care of him?

Vellai, qe eshte zhytur ne telashe, a te intereson?

Why or why not?

Perse, apo perse jo?

It may be something that is perhaps more serious

Mund te jete dicka me serioze

-- as I said, human rights in Burma.

--sic thashe, te drejtat e njeriut ne Burma,

I was thinking that I shouldn't go because somebody said, if I did, it would show

Po mendoja se s'duhej te shkoja sepse nese po, mund te interpretohej

that I approved of the military regime there.

se une aprovoja regjimin militar atje.

And then, after a while, I had to ask myself,

E me vone, mu desh te pyesja veten,

"Why do we take on knowledge, why do we take on assumptions

Perse bazohemi tek njohuri, dhe marrim te mireqena mendime

that other people have given us?"

qe na i kane dhene te tjere?

And it was the same thing that I felt when I was growing up,

Kete ndjeja edhe kur isha e vogel,

and was hearing these rules of moral conduct from my father,

dhe degjoja rregulla morale te sjelljes nga im ate

who was a Baptist minister.

si klerik baptist qe ishte.

So I decided that I would go to Burma for my own intentions,

Keshtu vendosa qe do te shkoja ne Burma per qellimet e mia

and still didn't know that if I went there,

pa e ditur cilat do te ishin

what the result of that would be, if I wrote a book --

rezultatet po te shkruaja nje liber atje

and I just would have to face that later, when the time came.

--do perballesha me kete me vone, kur t'i vinte koha.

We are all concerned with things that we see in the world that we are aware of.

Te tere angazhohemi me gjerat ne bote per te cilat jemi ne dijeni.

We come to this point and say, what do I as an individual do?

Arrijme ne nje pike e themi: "C'me takon te bej mua si individ?"

Not all of us can go to Africa, or work at hospitals,

Jo te tere mund te shkojne ne Afrike apo te punojne ne spitale

so what do we do, if we have this moral response, this feeling?

-e pra, cfare bejme kur kemi kete reagim moral, kete ndjenje?

Also, I think one of the biggest things we are all looking at,

Gjithashtu, mendoj se nje nder gjerat me te rendesishme qe po shqyrtojme te gjithe

and we talked about today, is genocide.

per te cilen folem edhe sot, eshte gjenocidi.

This leads to this question.

Keshtu dalim tek kjo pyetje

When I look at all these things that are morally ambiguous and uncomfortable,

Kur shoh gjithe keto gjera te paqarta moralisht, jashte zones se komfortit

and I consider what my intentions should be,

dhe konsideroj cilat duhet te jene qellimet e mia

I realize it goes back to this identity question that I had when I was a child

kuptoj se dalim perseri tek ajo pyetja e identitetit qe nga femijeria

-- and why am I here, and what is the meaning of my life,

--perse jam ketu, c'kuptim ka jeta ime,

and what is my place in the universe?

cili eshte vendi im ne univers?

It seems so obvious, and yet it is not.

Pergjigja duket tejet e kapshme, por nuk eshte e tille.

We all hate moral ambiguity in some sense,

Ne njefare sensi, te tere e urrejme paqartesine morale

and yet it is also absolutely necessary.

e perseri eshte absolutisht e domosdoshme.

In writing a story, it is the place where I begin.

Tek shkruaj nje rrefim, kjo eshte dhe pika nga e nis.

Sometimes I get help from the universe, it seems.

Ndonjehere duket se marr ndihme nga universi.

My mother would say it was the ghost of my grandmother from the very first book,

Mamaja do te thoshte se ishte shpirti i gjyshes qe nga libri im i pare

because it seemed I knew things I was not supposed to know.

sepse me sa duket dija gjera te cilat normalisht s'duhej ti dija.

Instead of writing that the grandmother died accidentally,

Ne vend te shkruaja se gjyshja vdiq aksidentalisht

from an overdose of opium, while having too much of a good time,

nga nje mbidoze opiumi duke bere me shume qef se c'duhet

I actually put down in the story that the woman killed herself,

hodha ne rreshta se ajo grua vrau veten

and that actually was the way it happened.

sic kishte ndodhur ne te vertete ne fakt.

And my mother decided that that information must have come from my grandmother.

Mamaja ime vendosi se informacioni duhej te kishte ardhur nga gjyshja.

There are also things, quite uncanny,

Ka dhe disa gjera, disi rrenqethese,

which bring me information that will help me in the writing of the book.

qe me sjellin informacionin qe do te me duhet tek shkruaj librin.

In this case, I was writing a story

Ne kete rast po shkruaja nje rrefim

that included some kind of detail, period of history, a certain location.

qe perfshinte nje lloj detaji, periudhe ne histori, nje vend te caktuar.

And I needed to find something historically that would match that.

Dhe duhej te gjeja dicka qe te perkonte historikisht me te.

And I took down this book, and I --

Nxorra nje liber dhe

first page that I flipped it to was exactly the setting, and the time period,

ne faqen e pare qe u hap pas shfletimit, gjeta saktesisht vendin dhe kohen.

and the kind of character I needed -- was the Taiping rebellion,

Cka kerkoja ishte rebelimi Taiping

happening in the area near Guilin, outside of that,

qe ndodhi ne nje zone prane Kualinit, jashte tij

and a character who thought he was the son of God.

dhe nje personazh qe mendonte se qe biri i Zotit.

You wonder, are these things random chance?

Lind pyetja, a jane keto gjera shans rastesor?

Well, what is random? What is chance? What is luck?

Po c'eshte rastesia? C'eshte shansi? C'eshte fati i mire?

What are things that you get from the universe that you can't really explain?

C'jane gjerat qe gjen ne univers e qe s'mund ti shpjegosh sic duhet?

And that goes into the story, too.

Ndodh edhe tek rrefimi.

These are the things I constantly think about from day to day.

Ka gjera te cilat i mendoj nga dita ne dite ne menyre konstante.

Especially when good things happen,

Sidomos kur ndodhin gjera pozitive

and, in particular, when bad things happen.

dhe vecanerisht kur ndodhin gjera negative.

But I do think there's a kind of serendipity,

E megjithate besoj ne nje rastesi fatlume,

and I do want to know what those elements are,

dhe dua shume te di se cilat jane keto elemente

so I can thank them, and also try to find them in my life.

qe te mund ti falenderoj, e po ashtu ti kerkoj ne jeten time.

Because, again, I think that when I am aware of them, more of them happen.

Sepse, perseri, mendoj se kur jam e ndergjegjshme per to, me shume prej tyre ndodhin.

Another chance encounter is when I went to a place

Nje tjeter takim i rastesishem ndodhi kur shkova diku

-- I just was with some friends, and we drove randomly to a different place,

thjesht isha me shoqeri, dhe i dhame makines per te shkuar diku ndryshe,

and we ended up in this non-tourist location,

dhe perfunduam ne nje zone joturistike,

a beautiful village, pristine.

fshat piktoresk, i pashkelur.

And we walked three valleys beyond,

Ecem tre fusha me tutje

and the third valley, there was something quite mysterious and ominous,

fusha e trete ishte dicka misterioze, tersndjellese,

a discomfort I felt. And then I knew that had to be [the] setting of my book.

nuk ndjehesha rehat. Pastaj kuptova se do te kishte te bente me librin tim.

And in writing one of the scenes, it happened in that third valley.

Tek shkruaja nje nga skenat, ndodhi ne fushen e trete.

For some reason I wrote about cairns -- stacks of rocks -- that a man was building.

S'e di perse kisha shkruar mbi nje lapidar guresh, qe po ndertonte nje burre.

And I didn't know exactly why I had it, but it was so vivid.

S'e di perse e kisha perfshire por ishte shume jeteplote.

I got stuck, and a friend, when she asked if I would go for a walk with her dogs,

Kisha ngecur dhe kur nje shoqe me pyeti nese doja te dilaj per te shetitur qente e saj me te

that I said, sure. And about 45 minutes later,

i thashe: "Sigurisht". Rreth 45 minuta me vone,

walking along the beach, I came across this.

duke ecur pergjate bregut ja sec pashe:

And it was a man, a Chinese man,

Ishte nje burre, nje burr kinez,

and he was stacking these things, not with glue, not with anything.

qe po grumbullonte ca gjera mbi njera-tjetren, pa ngjites, pa asgje.

And I asked him, "How is it possible to do this?"

Prandaj e pyeta se si qe e mundur.

And he said, "Well, I guess with everything in life, there's a place of balance."

Dhe ai mu pergjigj se besonte qe me cdo gje ne jete eziston nje vend ekuilibri.

And this was exactly the meaning of my story at that point.

Ky qe pikerisht dhe kuptimi i rrefimit tim ne ate pike.

I had so many examples -- I have so many instances like this, when I'm writing a story,

Kisha kaq shume shembuj--kam shume ilustrime te ketij nocioni kur shkruaj nje rrefim

and I cannot explain it.

dhe s'mund ta shpjegoj dot.

Is it because I had the filter that I have such a strong coincidence

Mbase meqe kisha filtrin me ndodhin koincidenca kaq te fuqishme

in writing about these things?

kur shkruaj mbi keto gjera?

Or is it a kind of serendipity that we cannot explain, like the cosmological constant?

Apo eshte nje lloj rastesie me fat e veshtire per tu shpjeguar nga ne, si konstantja kozmollogjike?

A big thing that I also think about is accidents.

Dicka tjeter e rendesishme per te cilen mendoj jane aksidentet.

And as I said, my mother did not believe in randomness.

Sic thashe, mamaja ime s'i besonte rastesise.

What is the nature of accidents?

Cila eshte natyra e aksidenteve?

And how are we going to assign what the responsibility and the causes are,

Dh si do te caktojme cilat jane pergjegesite dhe cilat shkaqet

outside of a court of law?

jashte mje gjykate ligji?

I was able to see that in a firsthand way,

Qeshe ne gjendje ta shihja kete ne menyre te drejteperdrejte,

when I went to beautiful Dong village, in Guizhou, the poorest province of China.

kur shkova ne fshatin e bukur Dong, ne Guizhu, provnca me e varfer e Kines.

And I saw this beautiful place. I knew I wanted to come back.

Dhe pashe kete vend te bukur. E dija se doja te kthehesha perseri.

And I had a chance to do that, when National Geographic asked me

Pata shansin ta beja kur National Geographic e pyeti

if I wanted to write anything about China.

nese doja te shkruja ndonje gje per Kinen.

And I said yes, about this village of singing people, singing minority.

Thashe se doja te shkruaja per ket fshatin Singing, minoritetin Singing.

And they agreed, and between the time I saw this place and the next time I went,

Rane dakort dhe midis heres se pare qe e pashe kete vend dhe heres se ardhshme kur shkova

there was a terrible accident. A man, an old man, fell asleep,

ndodhi nje aksident i tmerrshem. Nje burre i moshuar ra ne gjume

and his quilt dropped in a pan of fire that kept him warm.

dhe jorgani i tij reshkiti mbi rezistencen qe qe ngrohte.

60 homes were destroyed, and 40 were damaged.

60 shtepi u shkaterruan, 40 u demetuan

Responsibility was assigned to the family.

Pergjegjesia iu la familjes.

The man's sons were banished to live three kilometers away, in a cowshed.

Djemte e te ndjerit u syrgjynosen 3 km larg, ne nje stalle lopesh.

And, of course, as Westerners, we say, "Well, it was an accident. That's not fair.

Sigurisht qe si Perendimore, do themi "Ishte aksident. Kjo eshte e padrejte.

It's the son, not the father."

C'faj kane djemte?'

When I go on a story, I have to let go of those kinds of beliefs.

Kur punoj mbi nje rrefim, keto lloj konceptesh i le menjane.

It takes a while, but I have to let go of them and just go there, and be there.

Duhet kohe, por me duhet t'i le menjane qe te shkoj atje e te qendroj atje.

And so I was there on three occasions, different seasons.

Ne fakt isha per tri raste, stine te ndryshme.

And I began to sense something different about the history,

Dhe nisa te ndjej dicka ndryshe rreth historise

and what had happened before, and the nature of life in a very poor village,

dhe asaj cka kishte ndodhur me pare, dhe natyren e jetes ne nje fshat fare te vobekte,

and what you find as your joys, and your rituals, your traditions, your links

dhe cfare sheh si gezime, rituale, tradita, e marredhenie

with other families. And I saw how this had a kind of justice, in its responsibility.

me familje te tjera. Dhe pashe se si kishte nje fare drejtesie ne ate lloj pergjegjesie.

I was able to find out also about the ceremony that they were using,

Po ashtu mesova per ceremonine qe po benin,

a ceremony they hadn't used in about 29 years. And it was to send some men

nje ceremoni qe s'e kishin bere ne rreth 29 vjet. Qe per te derguar disa burra-

-- a Feng Shui master sent men down to the underworld on ghost horses.

sepse nje mesues Feng Shui dergonte burra ne boten e pertejshme mbi kuaj-fantazme.

Now you, as Westerners, and I, as Westerners,

Tani, ju si perendimore, dhe une si perendimore

would say well, that's superstition. But after being there for a while,

do thoshim: Supersticion! Por pasi qendrova atje ca kohe

and seeing the amazing things that happened,

dhe pashe gjerat marramendese qe ndodhen

you begin to wonder whose beliefs are those that are in operation in the world,

fillova te pyes veten se besimet e kujt jane ate veprojne ne kete bote

determining how things happen.

duke percaktuar se c'do te ndodhe.

So I remained with them, and the more I wrote that story,

Keshtu qe ndenja me ta, dhe sa me shume shkruaja rrefimin

the more I got into those beliefs, and I think that's important for me

aq me thelle futesha ne besimet e tyre

-- to take on the beliefs, because that is where the story is real,

i pervetesoja, sepse aty eshte dhe historia e vertete

and that is where I'm gonna find the answers

dhe aty do te gjej pergjigjet

to how I feel about certain questions that I have in life.

per pyetje te caktuara qe kam mbi jeten.

Years go by, of course, and the writing, it doesn't happen instantly,

Vitet shkojne, sigurisht, dhe te shkruarit, nuk ndodh ne nje cast

as I'm trying to convey it to you here at TED.

sic po perpiqem t'jua percjell juve ketu ne TED.

The book comes and it goes. When it arrives, it is no longer my book.

Libri vjen, dhe libri shkon. Kur arrin, nuk eshte me libri im.

It is in the hands of readers, and they interpret it differently.

Eshte ne duart e lexuesve dhe ata e interpretojne ne menyra te ndryshme.

But I go back to this question of, how do I create something out of nothing?

Por perseri i kthehem kesaj pyetje: si krijoj dicka nga asgje?

And how do I create my own life?

Dhe si e krijoj jeten time?

And I think it is by questioning,

Mendoj se e bej duke vene pikeyetje

and saying to myself that there are no absolute truths.

dhe duke i thene vetes se nuk ka te verteta absolute.

I believe in specifics, the specifics of story,

Une besoj tek specifikja, detajet specifike te nje rrefimi

and the past, the specifics of that past,

dhe tek e shkuara, tek detajet specifike te saj

and what is happening in the story at that point.

dhe se c' po ndodh ne rrefim ne ate pike

I also believe that in thinking about things --

Gjithashtu besoj, se tek mendoj per disa gjera

my thinking about luck, and fate, and coincidences and accidents,

mendimet e mia mbi fatin e mire, te keq, koincidencat dhe aksidentet,

God's will, and the synchrony of mysterious forces --

vullnetn e Zotit, sinkronine e forcave misterioze,

I will come to some notion of what that is, how we create.

do te arrij te konceptoj ne nje fare menyre se si krijojme.

I have to think of my role. Where I am in the universe,

Duhet te mendoj per rolin tim. Ku jam une ne univers

and did somebody intend for me to be that way, or is it just something I came up with?

dhe a qe qellimi i dikujt qe un te jem aty ku jam, apo isha une krijuesja e vetes sime?

And I also can find that by imagining fully, and becoming what is imagined --

Mund ta gjej edhe duke imagjinuar plotesisht, dhe duke u bere ajo qe imagjinohet

and yet is in that real world, the fictional world.

e qe perseri ekziston ne ate bote te vertete, boten fiktive.

And that is how I find particles of truth, not the absolute truth, or the whole truth.

Keshtu gjej une pjeseza te se vertetes, jo te verteten absolute apo gjithe te verteten.

And they have to be in all possibilities,

Dhe duhet te gjenden ne te gjitha mundesite

including those I never considered before.

perfshire ato qe s'i kisha konsideruar kurre me pare.

So, there are never complete answers.

Pra nuk ka kurre pergjigje komplete.

Or rather, if there is an answer, it is to remind

Ose, nese ka nje pergjigje, eshte qe ta kujtoj

myself that there is uncertainty in everything,

veten se ka pasiguri ne cdo gje,

and that is good, because then I will discover something new.

dhe kjo eshte pozitive. Sepse pastaj do te zbuloj dicka te re.

And if there is a partial answer, a more complete answer from me,

Dhe kur ka nje pergjigje te pjeshme, nje pergjigje e plote prej meje

it is to simply imagine.

eshte thjesht te imagjinoj.

And to imagine is to put myself in that story,

Dhe te imagjinoj eshte ta ve veten ne ate rrefim

until there was only -- there is a transparency between me and the story that I am creating.

deri sa te kete transparence midis meje dhe rrefimit qe po krijoj.

And that's how I've discovered that if I feel what is in the story

Keshtu kam zbuluar se nese e ndjej cfare ka ne rrefim

-- in one story -- then I come the closest, I think,

-ne nje rrefim- atehere vij me prane se kurre

to knowing what compassion is, to feeling that compassion.

diturise se c'eshte dashamiresia, apo vete ndjenjes se asaj dashamiresie.

Because for everything,

Sepse cdo gje,

in that question of how things happen, it has to do with the feeling.

ne ate pyetjen se si ndodhin gjerat, ka te beje me ndjenjen.

I have to become the story in order to understand a lot of that.

Une duhet te behem rrefimi qe te kuptoj shume prej tij.

We've come to the end of the talk,

Erdhem ne fund te diskutimit

and I will reveal what is in the bag, and it is the muse,

dhe do te zbuloj se c'ka ne cante, eshte muza,

and it is the things that transform in our lives,

dhe jane gjerat qe transformojne ne jeten tone,

that are wonderful and stay with us.

qe jane te mrekulli-plota dhe qendrojne me ne.

There she is.

Ja ku eshte.

Thank you very much!

Shume, shume faleminderit!

(Applause)

(Duartrokitje)