Where does creativity hide? | Amy Tan

Prevoditelj: Dijana Ivezic Recezent: Mislav Ante Omazić - EFZG

The Value of Nothing: Out of Nothing Comes Something.

Vrijednost ništavila: od ničega dolazi nešto.

That was an essay I wrote when I was 11 years old

To je bio esej kojeg sam napisala s 11 godina

and I got a B+. (Laughter)

i dobila sam +4. (Smijeh)

What I'm going to talk about: nothing out of something, and how we create.

O tome ću govoriti: ništa iz nečega i kako stvaramo.

And I'm gonna try and do that within

To ću pokušati učiniti unutar

the 18-minute time span that we were told to stay within,

18 minuta koje imam na raspolaganju

and to follow the TED commandments:

u skladu s TED zapovijedima:

that is, actually, something that creates

što zapravo stvara

a near-death experience,

iskustvo blisko smrti,

but near-death is good for creativity.

ali to je dobra za kreativnost.

(Laughter) OK.

(Smijeh) OK.

So, I also want to explain,

Želim također objasniti

because Dave Eggers said he was going to heckle me

jer je Dave Eggers rekao da će me zadaviti

if I said anything that was a lie, or not true to universal creativity.

ako izgovorim laž ili neistinu o univerzalnoj kreativnosti.

And I've done it this way for half the audience, who is scientific.

Ovako ću to učiniti za polovicu publike u kojoj su znanstvenici.

When I say we, I don't mean you, necessarily;

Kada kažem "mi", ne mislim doslovno na vas;

I mean me, and my right brain, my left brain

mislim na sebe, na svoju desnu i lijevu stranu mozga

and the one that's in between that is the censor

i onog između, onoga što nazivamo cenzorom

and tells me what I'm saying is wrong.

i koji me upozorava da govorim krivo.

And I'm going do that also by looking at

To ću napraviti tako što ću ujedno gledati na

what I think is part of my creative process,

ono što ja smatram dijelom vlastitog kreativnog procesa

which includes a number of things that happened, actually --

koji uključuje puno događaja, zapravo

the nothing started even earlier than the moment

ništavilo je nastalo prije nego trenutak

in which I'm creating something new.

u kojem stvaram nešto novo.

And that includes nature, and nurture,

To obuhvaća i prirodu i odgoj,

and what I refer to as nightmares.

i ono što ja nazivam noćnim morama.

Now in the nature area, we look at whether or not

Što se tiče prirode, gledamo imamo li

we are innately equipped with something, perhaps

neku urođenu sposobnost, možda

in our brains, some abnormal chromosome

neki abnormalni kromosom u mozgu,

that causes this muse-like effect.

koji uzrokuje taj "efekt muze".

And some people would say that we're born with it in some other means.

Neki ljudi kažu da se s time rodimo,

And others, like my mother,

a drugi, poput moje majke,

would say that I get my material from past lives.

da smo to dobili iz prethodnih života.

Some people would also say that creativity

Neki ljudi kažu da kreativnost

may be a function of some other neurological quirk --

može biti funkcija neke druge neurološke dosjetke --

van Gogh syndrome -- that you have a little bit of, you know, psychosis, or depression.

van Goghovog sindroma -- što bi značilo da malo patite znate, od psihoze ili depresije.

I do have to say, somebody -- I read recently

Moram reći da sam nedavno pročitala

that van Gogh wasn't really necessarily psychotic,

kako van Gogh nije nužno bio psihotičan,

that he might have had temporal lobe seizures,

već da je mogao imati napade u temporalnom režnju

and that might have caused his spurt of creativity, and I don't --

i da je upravo to moglo potaknuti njegovu kreativnost.

I suppose it does something in some part of your brain.

Pretpostavljam da to utječe na neki dio vašeg mozga.

And I will mention that I actually developed

Spomenuti ću kako sam zapravo ja razvila

temporal lobe seizures a number of years ago,

napade u temporalnom režnju prije par godina,

but it was during the time I was writing my last book,

što je bilo za vrijeme pisanja moje posljednje knjige,

and some people say that book is quite different.

i neki ljudi kažu kako je knjiga uistinu drugačija.

I think that part of it also begins with a sense of identity crisis:

Mislim da to počinje i s osjećajem krize identiteta,

you know, who am I, why am I this particular person,

tko sam, zašto sam baš ovakva osoba,

why am I not black like everybody else?

zašto nisam crna kao svi ostali?

And sometimes you're equipped with skills,

Ponekad posjedujete vještine,

but they may not be the kind of skills that enable creativity.

ali to možda nisu one koje omogućuju kreativnost.

I used to draw. I thought I would be an artist.

Ja sam crtala. Mislila sam kako ću biti umjetnica.

And I had a miniature poodle.

Imala sam minijaturnu pudlicu.

And it wasn't bad, but it wasn't really creative.

Nije to bilo loše, ali zapravo nije bilo stvarno kreativno.

Because all I could really do was represent in a very one-on-one way.

Sve što sam u stvari radila, jest bilo puko precrtavanje.

And I have a sense that I probably copied this from a book.

Čini mi se da sam ovo vjerojatno precrtala iz knjige.

And then, I also wasn't really shining in a certain area that I wanted to be,

I nisam baš blistala u određenom području u kojem sam to željela,

and you know, you look at those scores, and it wasn't bad,

i znate, pogledate u te rezultate i oni nisu tako loši,

but it was not certainly predictive that I would one day make

ali se zasigurno nije moglo predvidjeti da ću jednoga dana

my living out of the artful arrangement of words.

živjeti od spretnog kombiniranja riječi.

Also, one of the principles of creativity is to have a little childhood trauma.

Isto tako, jedno od načela kreativnosti je određena, mala trauma iz djetinjstva.

And I had the usual kind that I think a lot of people had,

Moja je bila kao i kod većine ljudi,

and that is that, you know, I had expectations placed on me.

a to je da su postojala određena očekivanja naspram mene.

That figure right there, by the way,

Ova figurica s lijeve strane,

figure right there was a toy given to me when I was but nine years old,

bila je igračka koju sam dobila s 9 godina,

and it was to help me become a doctor from a very early age.

koja mi je odmalena trebala pomoći postati liječnicom.

I have some ones that were long lasting: from the age of five to 15,

Neka su dugo trajala - od 5. do 15. godine,

this was supposed to be my side occupation,

to je trebalo biti moje zanimanje,

and it led to a sense of failure.

što me je dovodilo do osjećaja neuspjeha.

But actually, there was something quite real in my life

No, nešto zaista stvarno u mom životu

that happened when I was about 14.

dogodilo se kada mi je bilo 14.

And it was discovered that my brother, in 1967, and then my father,

Otkriveno je da moj brat 1967. godine, a potom i moj otac

six months later, had brain tumors.

6 mjeseci kasnije, boluju od tumora na mozgu.

And my mother believed that something had gone wrong,

Moja je majka vjerovala da je nešto pošlo po zlu

and she was gonna find out what it was, and she was gonna fix it.

i odlučila je otkriti što je to. Željela je to popraviti.

My father was a Baptist minister, and he believed in miracles,

Moj otac je bio baptistički svećenik i vjerovao je u čuda,

and that God's will would take care of that.

i da će se Božja volja pobrinuti za to.

But, of course, they ended up dying, six months apart.

No, završilo je tako da su obojica umrli u razmaku od 6 mjeseci.

And after that, my mother believed that it was fate, or curses

Nakon toga, moja je majka vjerovala da je to bila sudbina, ili prokletstvo,

-- she went looking through all the reasons in the universe

tražila je sve moguće razloge

why this would have happened.

zbog kojih se to dogodilo.

Everything except randomness. She did not believe in randomness.

Sve osim slučajnosti. U slučajnost nije vjerovala.

There was a reason for everything.

Za sve je postojao razlog.

And one of the reasons, she thought, was that her mother,

Jedan od razloga, po njenom mišljenju, bio je taj što je njena majka,

who had died when she was very young, was angry at her.

koja je umrla dok je ona bila vrlo mlada, bila ljuta na nju.

And so, I had this notion of death all around me,

Ta ideja smrti je bila svuda oko mene,

because my mother also believed that I would be next, and she would be next.

zato što je moja majka mislila da ću ja biti sljedeće, a potom i ona.

And when you are faced with the prospect of death very soon,

Kada se vrlo rano suočite sa smrću,

you begin to think very much about everything.

započnete razmišljati o gotovo svemu.

You become very creative, in a survival sense.

Postanete vrlo kreativni, u smislu preživljavanja.

And this, then, led to my big questions.

To je onda dovelo do mojih velikih pitanja,

And they're the same ones that I have today.

a ista pitanja imam i danas.

And they are: why do things happen, and how do things happen?

To su: Zašto se stvari događaju i kako se one događaju?

And the one my mother asked: how do I make things happen?

I jedno koje je moja majka postavila: Što ja mogu učiniti da se nešto dogodi?

It's a wonderful way to look at these questions, when you write a story.

Prekrasno je misliti o tim pitanjima kada pišete priču.

Because, after all, in that framework, between page one and 300,

Jer u okviru između 1. i 300. stranice,

you have to answer this question of why things happen, how things happen,

morate odgovoriti na pitanje zašto, kako

in what order they happen. What are the influences?

i kojim redoslijedom se stvari događaju. Što na njih utječe?

How do I, as the narrator, as the writer, also influence that?

Kako ja, kao pripovjedač i pisac, utječem na njih?

And it's also one that, I think, many of our scientists have been asking.

Mislim da se to pitaju i mnogi znanstvenici.

It's a kind of cosmology, and I have to develop a cosmology of my own universe,

To je poput kozmologije; moram razviti vlastitu kozmologiju osobnog svemira,

as the creator of that universe.

kao stvoriteljica tog svemira.

And you see, there's a lot of back and forth

Kao što vidite, tu je puno premišljanja

in trying to make that happen, trying to figure it out

u nastojanju rasplitanja tih dilema,

-- years and years, oftentimes.

što često traje godinama.

So, when I look at creativity, I also think that it is this sense or this inability

Stoga, kada mislim o kreativnosti, mislim da se tu radi i o mojoj nemogućnosti

to repress, my looking at associations in practically anything in life.

potiskivanja raznih asocijacija vezanih uz gotovo sve u životu.

And I got a lot of them during what's been going on

A sjetila sam ih se puno tijekom svega što se događalo

throughout this conference,

na ovoj konferenciji,

almost everything that's been going on.

gotovo svega što se događalo.

And so I'm going to use, as the metaphor, this association:

Stoga ću, kao metaforu, koristiti ovu asocijaciju:

quantum mechanics, which I really don't understand,

kvantnu mehaniku, koju zapravo ne razumijem,

but I'm still gonna use it as the process

ali ću je svejedno upotrijebiti u objašnjavanju

for explaining how it is the metaphor.

što ju čini metaforom.

So, in quantum mechanics, of course, you have dark energy and dark matter.

Dakle, u kvantnoj mehanici imate tamnu energiju i tamnu tvar.

And it's the same thing in looking at these questions of how things happen.

Jednako je i kada se radi o tome kako se stvari događaju.

There's a lot of unknown, and you often don't know what it is except by its absence.

Puno toga je nepoznato, a često ne znate niti što je, osim da nedostaje.

But when you make those associations,

No, kada stvorite te asocijacije,

you want them to come together in a kind of synergy in the story,

želite ih spojiti, stvoriti sinergiju u priči

and what you're finding is what matters. The meaning.

i otkrivate što je važno - značenje.

And that's what I look for in my work, a personal meaning.

To je ono što ja tražim u svom radu - osobno značenje.

There is also the uncertainty principle, which is part of quantum mechanics,

Zatim imamo i načelo nesigurnosti, koje je dio kvantne mehanike,

as I understand it. (Laughter)

koliko ja to razumijem. (Smijeh)

And this happens constantly in the writing.

To se u pisanju stalno događa.

And there's the terrible and dreaded observer effect,

A tu je i grozni efekt promatrača,

in which you're looking for something, and

kada nešto tražite i

you know, things are happening simultaneously,

stvari se događaju istodobno,

and you're looking at it in a different way,

a vi ih promatrate na drugačiji način

and you're trying to really look for the about-ness,

i zbilja se trudite proniknuti u njihov smisao.

or what is this story about. And if you try too hard,

Ili ono o čemu je ta priča. No, ako se previše trudite,

then you will only write the about.

pisati ćete samo o čemu se radi,

You won't discover anything.

ali tako nećete ništa otkriti.

And what you were supposed to find,

Ono što ste trebali naći,

what you hoped to find in some serendipitous way,

čemu ste se nadali, na neki čudesan način,

is no longer there.

više ne postoji.

Now, I don't want to ignore

Ne želim ignorirati

the other side of what happens in our universe,

drugu stranu shvaćanja događanja u svemiru,

like many of our scientists have.

koju zastupaju mnogi znanstvenici.

And so, I am going to just throw in string theory here,

Zato ću ubaciti i teoriju struna

and just say that creative people are multidimensional,

i samo reći da su kreativni ljudi multidimenzionalni.

and there are 11 levels, I think, of anxiety.

Postoji, čini mi se, 11 razina anksioznosti.

(Laughter) And they all operate at the same time.

(Smijeh) I sve one se događaju istovremeno.

There is also a big question of ambiguity.

Tu je i važno pitanje dvosmislenosti.

And I would link that to something called the cosmological constant.

To bih povezala s nečim nazvanim kozmološkom konstantom.

And you don't know what is operating, but something is operating there.

Ne znate što, ali nešto time upravlja.

And ambiguity, to me, is very uncomfortable

Dvosmislenost smatram vrlo neugodnom

in my life, and I have it. Moral ambiguity.

aspektom svog života, jer imam moralnu dvosmislenost.

It is constantly there. And, just as an example,

Stalno je prisutna, na primjer,

this is one that recently came to me.

ovo mi se nedavno dogodilo.

It was something I read in an editorial by a woman

Ovo sam pročitala u uvodniku kojeg je napisala žena

who was talking about the war in Iraq. And she said,

pritom govoreći o ratu u Iraku. Rekla je:

"Save a man from drowning, you are responsible to him for life."

"Spasite čovjeka od utapanja, i odgovorni ste mu zauvijek."

A very famous Chinese saying, she said.

Navela je kako je to poznata Kineska poslovica.

And that means because we went into Iraq, we should stay there

Što znači da, ako smo intervenirali u Iraku, onda tamo moramo i ostati

until things were solved. You know, maybe even 100 years.

dok se stvari ne riješe, pa trajalo to i 100 godina.

So, there was another one that I came across,

Zatim sam naišla na još jednu izreku:

and it's "saving fish from drowning."

"spasiti ribu od utapanja".

And it's what Buddhist fishermen say,

To je izreka budističkih ribiča,

because they're not supposed to kill anything.

koji ne žele ništa ubiti.

And they also have to make a living, and people need to be fed.

No, jednako tako, moraju zaraditi za život i moraju jesti.

So their way of rationalizing that is they are saving the fish from drowning,

Njihov pokušaj racionaliziranja te situacije jest da spašavaju ribu od utapanja,

and unfortunately, in the process the fish die.

i nažalost, u tom procesu riba umire.

Now, what's encapsulated in both these drowning metaphors

Što te metafore sadrže

-- actually, one of them is my mother's interpretation,

-- u stvari jedna od njih je interpretacija moje majke

and it is a famous Chinese saying, because she said it to me:

i to je poznata kineska izreka koju mi je ona rekla:

"save a man from drowning, you are responsible to him for life."

"Spasi čovjeka od utapanja, i odgovoran si mu zauvijek."

And it was a warning -- don't get involved in other people's business,

To je upozorenje -- ne uplići se u živote drugih ljudi,

or you're going to get stuck.

jer bi mogao zaglaviti.

OK. I think if somebody really was drowning, she'd save them.

OK, da se netko zbilja utapa, mislim da bi ga spasila.

But, both of these sayings -- saving a fish from drowning,

No, obje izreke, spasiti ribu od utapanja i

or saving a man from drowning -- to me they had to do with intentions.

spasiti čovjeka od utapanja, imaju veze s namjerama.

And all of us in life, when we see a situation, we have a response.

Svi mi, kada vidimo neku situaciju, imamo reakciju.

And then we have intentions.

Potom imamo namjere.

There's an ambiguity of what that should be that we should do,

Dvosmisleno je: ono što bismo trebali napraviti

and then we do something.

i ono što napravimo.

And the results of that may not match what our intentions had been.

Ti se rezulati možda ne poklapaju s našim namjerama.

Maybe things go wrong. And so, after that, what are our responsibilities?

Možda je nešto pošlo po zlu. Dakle, koje su naše odgovornosti?

What are we supposed to do?

Što bismo trebali poduzeti?

Do we stay in for life,

Jesmo li za život

or do we do something else and justify and say, well, my intentions were good,

ili napravimo nešto drugo pa to pravdamo govoreći "pa, moje namjere su bile dobre

and therefore I cannot be held responsible for all of it?

i zbog toga ne mogu snositi nikakvu odgovornost?"

That is the ambiguity in my life

To predstavlja dvosmislenost u mom životu

that really disturbed me, and led me to write a book called

koja me uznemiruje i koja me dovela do pisanja knjige nazvane

"Saving Fish From Drowning."

"Spasiti ribu od utapanja".

I saw examples of that. Once I identified this question, it was all over the place.

Jednom kada sam identificirala pitanje, posvuda sam nailazila na primjere.

I got these hints everywhere.

Aluzije su bile posvuda,

And then, in a way, I knew that they had always been there.

a onda sam shvatila da su zapravo uvijek tamo i bile.

And then writing, that's what happens. I get these hints, these clues,

Kada pišem, nailazim na te aluzije, indicije

and I realize that they've been obvious, and yet they have not been.

od kojih su neke bile očite, a neke nisu.

And what I need, in effect, is a focus.

Ono što zapravo trebam jest fokus.

And when I have the question, it is a focus.

A kada imam pitanje, onda je ono fokus.

And all these things that seem to be flotsam and jetsam in life actually go through

Sve te stvari koje se čine opterećenjem u životu, zapravo se provlače

that question, and what happens is those particular things become relevant.

kroz to pitanje i ono što se događa jest da postaju važne.

And it seems like it's happening all the time.

Čini se kao da se to događa svo vrijeme.

You think there's a sort of coincidence going on, a serendipity,

Mislite da se radi o slučajnosti, spletu okolnosti

in which you're getting all this help from the universe.

u kojem vam pomaže svemir.

And it may also be explained that now you have a focus.

To se može objasniti time da sada imate fokus

And you are noticing it more often.

i da ih sve više primjećujete.

But you apply this.

No, Vi u stvari primjenjujete ovo.

You begin to look at things having to do with your tensions.

Počinjete razmatrati stvari koje su povezane s vašim napetostima.

Your brother, who's fallen in trouble, do you take care of him?

Vaš brat, koji je u nevolji, brinete li se o njemu?

Why or why not?

Zašto da ili zašto ne?

It may be something that is perhaps more serious

Može se raditi o nečemu ozbiljnijem,

-- as I said, human rights in Burma.

na primjer, o ljudskim pravima u Burmi.

I was thinking that I shouldn't go because somebody said, if I did, it would show

Mislila sam da ne trebam ići onamo jer je netko rekao da, ako odem, time ću samo pokazati

that I approved of the military regime there.

da odobravam tamošnji vojni režim.

And then, after a while, I had to ask myself,

Nakon nekog vremena, morala sam se zapitati:

"Why do we take on knowledge, why do we take on assumptions

"Zašto prisvajamo znanja i pretpostavke

that other people have given us?"

koje nam nameću drugi ljudi?"

And it was the same thing that I felt when I was growing up,

Jednako sam se osjećala i dok sam odrastala

and was hearing these rules of moral conduct from my father,

slušajući pravila i moralne vrijednosti svog oca,

who was a Baptist minister.

koji je bio baptistički svećenik.

So I decided that I would go to Burma for my own intentions,

Stoga sam odlučila otići u Burmu zbog svojih osobnih motiva,

and still didn't know that if I went there,

iako nisam znala koji će ishod mog odlaska tamo

what the result of that would be, if I wrote a book --

i pisanja knjige biti, ali

and I just would have to face that later, when the time came.

s time sam se morala suočiti kasnije, kada za to dođe vrijeme.

We are all concerned with things that we see in the world that we are aware of.

Svi smo mi zabrinuti zbog stvari koje vidimo u svijetu kojega smo svjesni.

We come to this point and say, what do I as an individual do?

Dolazimo do određene točke kada se zapitamo, što ja kao pojedinac mogu učiniti?

Not all of us can go to Africa, or work at hospitals,

Ne možemo svi ići u Afriku ili raditi u bolnicama,

so what do we do, if we have this moral response, this feeling?

dakle, što nam je činiti ako osjetimo ovu moralnu odgovornost?

Also, I think one of the biggest things we are all looking at,

Mislim da je jedna od najvećih stvari koje smo svjedoci,

and we talked about today, is genocide.

i o kojoj smo danas govorili - genocid.

This leads to this question.

Što dovodi do sljedećeg pitanja:

When I look at all these things that are morally ambiguous and uncomfortable,

kada pogledam sve te stvari koje su moralno dvosmislene i neugodne

and I consider what my intentions should be,

i zapitam se kakve bi moje namjere trebale biti,

I realize it goes back to this identity question that I had when I was a child

shvaćam kako me sve to vodi natrag ka pitanju koje sam imala kao dijete:

-- and why am I here, and what is the meaning of my life,

zašto sam ovdje i koji je smisao mog života,

and what is my place in the universe?

gdje je moje mjesto u svemiru?

It seems so obvious, and yet it is not.

Čini se tako očito, a zapravo nije.

We all hate moral ambiguity in some sense,

Svi mi mrzimo moralne dileme na neki način,

and yet it is also absolutely necessary.

ali one su tako nužno potrebne.

In writing a story, it is the place where I begin.

Kada pišem priču to mi je polazišna točka.

Sometimes I get help from the universe, it seems.

Izgleda da mi katkad svemir pomogne.

My mother would say it was the ghost of my grandmother from the very first book,

Moja majka bi rekla da je to duh moje prabake, još od prve knjige,

because it seemed I knew things I was not supposed to know.

jer se činilo da znam stvari koje nisam trebala znati.

Instead of writing that the grandmother died accidentally,

Umjesto da sam napisala kako je prabaka umrla nesretnim slučajem,

from an overdose of opium, while having too much of a good time,

jer se predozirala opijumom previše se zabavljajući,

I actually put down in the story that the woman killed herself,

složila sam priču u kojoj se žena zapravo ubila,

and that actually was the way it happened.

što se zapravo i dogodilo.

And my mother decided that that information must have come from my grandmother.

Tako je moja majka odlučila da je ta informacija morala doći od prabake.

There are also things, quite uncanny,

Bilo je i prilično neobičnih stvari

which bring me information that will help me in the writing of the book.

od kojih sam dobila informacije koje su mi pomogle u pisanju knjige.

In this case, I was writing a story

U ovom slučaju, pisala sam priču

that included some kind of detail, period of history, a certain location.

koja je obuhvaćala neke detalje, povijesno razdoblje, određeno mjesto.

And I needed to find something historically that would match that.

Trebala sam naći nešto povijesno što bi to moglo potkrijepiti.

And I took down this book, and I --

Uzela sam neku knjigu i na prvoj stranici koju sam okrenula,

first page that I flipped it to was exactly the setting, and the time period,

nalazilo se upravo to okruženje i vremensko razdoblje.

and the kind of character I needed -- was the Taiping rebellion,

Karakter koji sam tražila bio je Taipingški pobunjenik,

happening in the area near Guilin, outside of that,

negdje u okolici Qualina, a osim toga,

and a character who thought he was the son of God.

lik koji je mislio da je Sin Božji.

You wonder, are these things random chance?

Pitate se jesu li ove stvari čista slučajnost?

Well, what is random? What is chance? What is luck?

Što je nasumično? Što je slučajnost? Što je sreća?

What are things that you get from the universe that you can't really explain?

Što su stvari koje vam svemir šalje i koje ne možete objasniti?

And that goes into the story, too.

To je isto dio priče.

These are the things I constantly think about from day to day.

To su stvari o kojima neprestano razmišljam svakoga dana.

Especially when good things happen,

Pogotovo kada se dogode dobre stvari, ali

and, in particular, when bad things happen.

osobito kada se dogode one loše.

But I do think there's a kind of serendipity,

Svejedno mislim da postoji neka vrsta spleta okolnosti,

and I do want to know what those elements are,

ali želim znati koji su to elementi,

so I can thank them, and also try to find them in my life.

kako bih im mogla zahvaliti i pronaći ih u vlastitom životu.

Because, again, I think that when I am aware of them, more of them happen.

Čini mi se da, što sam ih svjesnija, češće se događaju.

Another chance encounter is when I went to a place

Još jedna situacija mi se dogodila na mjestu

-- I just was with some friends, and we drove randomly to a different place,

gdje sam bila s prijateljima, nasumce smo se vozili na razna mjesta

and we ended up in this non-tourist location,

i završili na jednoj ne baš turističkoj lokaciji,

a beautiful village, pristine.

u prekrasnom, netaknutom selu.

And we walked three valleys beyond,

Prešli smo tri doline,

and the third valley, there was something quite mysterious and ominous,

a na trećoj je bilo nešto prilično tajanstveno i zastrašujuće,

a discomfort I felt. And then I knew that had to be [the] setting of my book.

osjetila sam neugodu i tada sam znala da to mora biti mjesto radnje u mojoj knjizi.

And in writing one of the scenes, it happened in that third valley.

Jedna od scena se dogodila upravo u toj dolini.

For some reason I wrote about cairns -- stacks of rocks -- that a man was building.

Iz nekog sam razloga pisala o nakupinama kamenja koje je izrađivao čovjek.

And I didn't know exactly why I had it, but it was so vivid.

Nisam znala zašto, ali slika je bila tako živa.

I got stuck, and a friend, when she asked if I would go for a walk with her dogs,

Zapela sam, a prijateljica me pitala bih li išla u šetnju s njenim psima, na što

that I said, sure. And about 45 minutes later,

sam pristala. 45 minuta kasnije,

walking along the beach, I came across this.

za vrijeme šetnje plažom, naišla sam opet na to.

And it was a man, a Chinese man,

To je bio čovjek, Kinez,

and he was stacking these things, not with glue, not with anything.

koji je slagao te stvari, bez ljepila i ičega.

And I asked him, "How is it possible to do this?"

Pitala sam ga kako je to moguće, a on je

And he said, "Well, I guess with everything in life, there's a place of balance."

rekao: "Pa, pretpostavljam da sve u životu ima svoje mjesto ravnoteže."

And this was exactly the meaning of my story at that point.

Upravo je to bio smisao moje priče.

I had so many examples -- I have so many instances like this, when I'm writing a story,

Ima još puno primjera poput ovoga kada pišem priče,

and I cannot explain it.

koje ne mogu objasniti.

Is it because I had the filter that I have such a strong coincidence

Je li razlog to što imam filter za sve slučajnosti

in writing about these things?

dok pišem o tim stvarima?

Or is it a kind of serendipity that we cannot explain, like the cosmological constant?

Ili je u pitanju splet okolnosti kojeg ne možemo objasniti, kao kozmološka konstanta?

A big thing that I also think about is accidents.

Velika stvar o kojoj također razmišljam su i nesreće.

And as I said, my mother did not believe in randomness.

Kao što sam već rekla, moja majka nije vjerovala u slučajnosti.

What is the nature of accidents?

Kakva je priroda nesreća?

And how are we going to assign what the responsibility and the causes are,

Kako im možemo pripisati odgovornost i uzroke,

outside of a court of law?

izvan sudske prakse?

I was able to see that in a firsthand way,

U to sam se uvjerila iz prve ruke,

when I went to beautiful Dong village, in Guizhou, the poorest province of China.

kada sam posjetila prekrasno selo Dong u Guizhouu, najsiromašnijoj kineskoj provinciji.

And I saw this beautiful place. I knew I wanted to come back.

Kada sam ugledala to prelijepo mjesto, znala sam da se moram vratiti.

And I had a chance to do that, when National Geographic asked me

Pružila mi se prilika to učiniti kada me National Geographic pitao

if I wanted to write anything about China.

želim li pisati o Kini.

And I said yes, about this village of singing people, singing minority.

Pristala sam i rekla da želim pisati o selu ljudi koji pjevaju, pjevajućoj manjini.

And they agreed, and between the time I saw this place and the next time I went,

Složili su se i u razdoblju između mog prvog i tog posjeta selu,

there was a terrible accident. A man, an old man, fell asleep,

dogodila se strašna nesreća. Jedan starac je zaspao,

and his quilt dropped in a pan of fire that kept him warm.

a njegov je pokrivač pao u vatru koja ga je grijala.

60 homes were destroyed, and 40 were damaged.

Rezultat toga je bio60 uništenih domova, a 40 ih je bilo oštećeno.

Responsibility was assigned to the family.

Odgovornost je pala na njegovu obitelj.

The man's sons were banished to live three kilometers away, in a cowshed.

Starčevi sinovi su protjerani živjeti tri kilometra dalje, u štali.

And, of course, as Westerners, we say, "Well, it was an accident. That's not fair.

Mi Zapadnjaci bismo rekli: "To nije pošteno, to je bila nesreća.

It's the son, not the father."

Ovo su sinovi, a ako je netko odgovoran onda je to bio otac."

When I go on a story, I have to let go of those kinds of beliefs.

Kada se upustim u priču, moram se riješiti takvih uvjerenja.

It takes a while, but I have to let go of them and just go there, and be there.

To traje neko vrijeme, ali moram ih se osloboditi i jednostavno otići i biti tamo.

And so I was there on three occasions, different seasons.

Bila sam tamo tri puta, u različitim godišnjim dobima.

And I began to sense something different about the history,

Počela sam osjećati nešto u vezi povijesti,

and what had happened before, and the nature of life in a very poor village,

nešto što se dogodilo, prirodi života u tom vrlo siromašnom selu

and what you find as your joys, and your rituals, your traditions, your links

i stvarima koje vas uveseljavaju, ritualima, tradiciji, vezama

with other families. And I saw how this had a kind of justice, in its responsibility.

s drugim obiteljima i počela sam uviđati neku vrstu pravde u toj odgovornosti.

I was able to find out also about the ceremony that they were using,

Saznala sam za obred kojeg su koristili

a ceremony they hadn't used in about 29 years. And it was to send some men

prije 29 godina. Feng Shui majstor je slao ljude u podzemlje

-- a Feng Shui master sent men down to the underworld on ghost horses.

na duhovima konja.

Now you, as Westerners, and I, as Westerners,

Sada bismo vi i ja, kao Zapadnjaci, kazali

would say well, that's superstition. But after being there for a while,

da je to praznovjerje. No, nakon nekog vremena koje provedete tamo,

and seeing the amazing things that happened,

tijekom kojeg sam vidjela nevjerojatne stvari,

you begin to wonder whose beliefs are those that are in operation in the world,

počela sam se pitati čija to vjerovanja zapravo oblikuju svijet,

determining how things happen.

odlučujući kako će se stvari dogoditi.

So I remained with them, and the more I wrote that story,

Ostala sam ondje i što sam više pisala,

the more I got into those beliefs, and I think that's important for me

više sam u to vjerovala i mislim da je to važno -

-- to take on the beliefs, because that is where the story is real,

-- prihvatiti vjerovanja, jer u njima je ta priča stvarna

and that is where I'm gonna find the answers

i tamo ću pronaći odgovore

to how I feel about certain questions that I have in life.

u vezi nekih svojih životnih pitanja.

Years go by, of course, and the writing, it doesn't happen instantly,

Godine prolaze i pisanje se ne događa samo od sebe,

as I'm trying to convey it to you here at TED.

kao što vam pokušavam ovdje prikazati.

The book comes and it goes. When it arrives, it is no longer my book.

Knjiga dolazi i odlazi, a kada napokon stigne, to više nije moja knjiga.

It is in the hands of readers, and they interpret it differently.

U rukama je čitatelja koji ju različito interpretiraju.

But I go back to this question of, how do I create something out of nothing?

Vratit ću se na pitanje - kako stvoriti nešto ni iz čega?

And how do I create my own life?

Kako stvoriti vlastiti život?

And I think it is by questioning,

Mislim da treba postavljati pitanja i

and saying to myself that there are no absolute truths.

reći samome sebi da ne postoje apsolutne istine.

I believe in specifics, the specifics of story,

Vjerujem u pojedinosti, specifičnosti neke priče,

and the past, the specifics of that past,

i njene povijesti

and what is happening in the story at that point.

te ono što se događa u priči u određenom trenutku.

I also believe that in thinking about things --

Vjerujem i u razmišljanje o stvarima,

my thinking about luck, and fate, and coincidences and accidents,

o sreći, sudbini, slučajnostima i nesrećama,

God's will, and the synchrony of mysterious forces --

Božjoj volji i usklađenosti misterioznih sila.

I will come to some notion of what that is, how we create.

Doći ću do spoznaje što je to, kako stvaramo.

I have to think of my role. Where I am in the universe,

Moram misliti na svoju ulogu. Gdje sam ja u svemiru i

and did somebody intend for me to be that way, or is it just something I came up with?

je li mi netko namijenio tu ulogu ili sam sama došla do toga?

And I also can find that by imagining fully, and becoming what is imagined --

To mogu postići i potpunim zamišljanjem i postajanjem onoga što zamišljam

and yet is in that real world, the fictional world.

u stvarnom, odnosno izmišljenom svijetu.

And that is how I find particles of truth, not the absolute truth, or the whole truth.

Na taj način pronalazim čestice istine; ne apsolutne istine ili cijele istine,

And they have to be in all possibilities,

jer sve su mogućnosti otvorene,

including those I never considered before.

pa i one o kojima prije nisam ni razmišljala.

So, there are never complete answers.

Ne postoje potpuni odgovori.

Or rather, if there is an answer, it is to remind

Odnosno, ako i postoji odgovor, on je tu da me podsjeti

myself that there is uncertainty in everything,

na dozu nesigurnosti u svemu,

and that is good, because then I will discover something new.

što je dobro, jer tako ću otkriti nešto novo.

And if there is a partial answer, a more complete answer from me,

Ako postoji djelomični odgovor, ja ga mogu upotpuniti

it is to simply imagine.

zamišljajući ga.

And to imagine is to put myself in that story,

Zamišljati znači uklopiti sebe u tu priču,

until there was only -- there is a transparency between me and the story that I am creating.

jer postoji razlika između mene i priče koju stvaram.

And that's how I've discovered that if I feel what is in the story

Otkrila sam da ako osjetim ono što je u priči,

-- in one story -- then I come the closest, I think,

tada sam najbliže shvaćanju što je

to knowing what compassion is, to feeling that compassion.

suosjećanje i samom tom osjećaju.

Because for everything,

Sve vezano

in that question of how things happen, it has to do with the feeling.

uz pitanje kako se događaju stvari, ima veze s osjećajem.

I have to become the story in order to understand a lot of that.

Moram postati priča da bih shvatila puno toga.

We've come to the end of the talk,

Došli smo do kraja govora,

and I will reveal what is in the bag, and it is the muse,

pa ću otkriti što je u torbi, a to je muza,

and it is the things that transform in our lives,

stvari koje se mijenjaju u našim životima,

that are wonderful and stay with us.

koje su lijepe i ostaju s nama.

There she is.

Evo je.

Thank you very much!

Puno vam hvala.

(Applause)

(Pljesak)