Where does creativity hide? | Amy Tan

Translator: Majgrit Kallavus Reviewer: Kaur Sinissaar

The Value of Nothing: Out of Nothing Comes Something.

Eimillegi väärtus: eimillestki sünnib midagi.

That was an essay I wrote when I was 11 years old

See oli essee, mille ma kirjutasin 11-aastaselt

and I got a B+. (Laughter)

ja ma sain hindeks 4+. (Naer)

What I'm going to talk about: nothing out of something, and how we create.

Millest ma rääkima hakkan: eimiski millestki ja kuidas me loome.

And I'm gonna try and do that within

Ning ma proovin seda teha

the 18-minute time span that we were told to stay within,

18-minutilise ajavahemiku jooksul, millest meil paluti kinni hoida,

and to follow the TED commandments:

jälgides TEDi reegleid:

that is, actually, something that creates

See on tõepoolest miski, mis loob

a near-death experience,

surmalähedase kogemuse,

but near-death is good for creativity.

kuid surmalähedane kogemus on loomingulisusele hea.

(Laughter) OK.

(Naer) OK.

So, I also want to explain,

Ma tahaksin veel selgitada,

because Dave Eggers said he was going to heckle me

kuna Dave Eggers ütles, et ta hakkab mulle vahele hüüdma,

if I said anything that was a lie, or not true to universal creativity.

kui ma peaksin ütlema midagi, mis on vale või üldiselt loomingulisuse kohta mittepaikapidav.

And I've done it this way for half the audience, who is scientific.

Ma olen selle nõnda teinud poole publiku jaoks, kes on teadusega seotud.

When I say we, I don't mean you, necessarily;

Kui ma ütlen "meie", ei räägi ma ilmtingimata meist kõigist;

I mean me, and my right brain, my left brain

ma pean silmas iseennast ning oma paremat ja vasakut ajupoolkera,

and the one that's in between that is the censor

ning seda, mis on seal vahel, ehk tsensorit,

and tells me what I'm saying is wrong.

mis ütleb mulle, et see, millest ma parasjagu räägin, on vale.

And I'm going do that also by looking at

Ning oma kõne jooksul pean ma silmas ka asju,

what I think is part of my creative process,

mis minu arvates on olnud olulised minu loomeprotsessis,

which includes a number of things that happened, actually --

see hõlmab paljusid asju, mis juhtusid, tegelikult

the nothing started even earlier than the moment

eimiski algas juba varem kui hetk,

in which I'm creating something new.

milles ma loon midagi uut.

And that includes nature, and nurture,

See hõlmab loodust, hoolitsust

and what I refer to as nightmares.

ja minu mõistes luupainajaid.

Now in the nature area, we look at whether or not

Looduse osas vaatame, kas me oleme

we are innately equipped with something, perhaps

looduse poolt varustatud millegagi või mitte,

in our brains, some abnormal chromosome

näiteks mõni ebatavaline kromosoom meie ajus,

that causes this muse-like effect.

mis tekitab selle muusaliku efekti.

And some people would say that we're born with it in some other means.

Mõned inimesed ütlevad, et see on meile sünniga kaasa antud mõnel muul viisil,

And others, like my mother,

ning teised, näiteks nagu mu ema,

would say that I get my material from past lives.

ütlevad, et ma saan inspiratsiooni oma eelmistest eludest.

Some people would also say that creativity

Mõned inimesed ütlevad, et loomingulisus

may be a function of some other neurological quirk --

võib olla mõne neuroloogilise vea tagajärg --

van Gogh syndrome -- that you have a little bit of, you know, psychosis, or depression.

van Goghi sündroom -- et sa oled veidi psühhootiline või depressioonis.

I do have to say, somebody -- I read recently

Ma ei saa mainimata jätta üht hiljuti loetud arvamust,

that van Gogh wasn't really necessarily psychotic,

et van Gogh ei olnud ilmtingimata psühhootiline,

that he might have had temporal lobe seizures,

vaid et tal võisid olla temporaalsagara atakid,

and that might have caused his spurt of creativity, and I don't --

mis võisid päästa valla tema loomingulisuse.

I suppose it does something in some part of your brain.

Ma arvan, et see tõesti põhjustab midagi mõnes ajusopis.

And I will mention that I actually developed

Pean veel mainima, et ka mul endal ilmnesid

temporal lobe seizures a number of years ago,

mitu aastat tagasi temporaalsagara atakid,

but it was during the time I was writing my last book,

kuid see juhtus mu viimase raamatu kirjutamise ajal

and some people say that book is quite different.

ning mõnede inimeste arvates on see raamat üsna erinev.

I think that part of it also begins with a sense of identity crisis:

Ma arvan, et osaliselt saab see alguse ka identiteedikriisi tunnetamisel:

you know, who am I, why am I this particular person,

teate küll - kes ma olen, miks ma olen just see konkreetne inimene,

why am I not black like everybody else?

miks ma ei ole mustanahaline nagu kõik teised?

And sometimes you're equipped with skills,

Ja mõnikord oled sa varustatud oskustega,

but they may not be the kind of skills that enable creativity.

kuid need ei pruugi olla oskused, mis vallandavad loomingulisuse.

I used to draw. I thought I would be an artist.

Ma joonistasin varem palju. Ma arvasin, et minust saab kunstnik.

And I had a miniature poodle.

Mul oli ka pisike puudel.

And it wasn't bad, but it wasn't really creative.

Mu joonistamisoskus ei olnud halb, aga see ei olnud ka väga loominguline,

Because all I could really do was represent in a very one-on-one way.

kuna kõik, mida ma tegelikult teha suutsin, oli üks-ühele maha joonistamine.

And I have a sense that I probably copied this from a book.

Ja mul on tunne, et tõenäoliselt ma kopeerisin selle hoopis raamatust.

And then, I also wasn't really shining in a certain area that I wanted to be,

Ma polnud ka eriti osav mõnel muul alal, milles ma tahtsin edukas olla,

and you know, you look at those scores, and it wasn't bad,

ja teate küll, näete neid tulemusi, need ei olnud halvad,

but it was not certainly predictive that I would one day make

kuid kindlasti ei ennustanud need ka, et ühel päeval

my living out of the artful arrangement of words.

teenin ma elatist sõnade osava kokkusobitamisega.

Also, one of the principles of creativity is to have a little childhood trauma.

Lisaks kõigele on üheks loomingulisuse reegliks lapsepõlvetrauma olemasolu.

And I had the usual kind that I think a lot of people had,

Mul oli üks tavaline, mis ma arvan, on paljude teistegagi juhtunud,

and that is that, you know, I had expectations placed on me.

nimelt, eks ole, et mulle olid peale surutud teatud ootused.

That figure right there, by the way,

See kuju seal pildil, muide,

figure right there was a toy given to me when I was but nine years old,

oli mulle antud mänguasi, kui ma olin 9-aastane,

and it was to help me become a doctor from a very early age.

ning see pidi aitama mul arstiks saada juba väga varajases eas.

I have some ones that were long lasting: from the age of five to 15,

Mõned ootused olid pikemaajalised: alates 5. kuni 15. eluaastani.

this was supposed to be my side occupation,

See pidanuks olema mu teine tegevusala,

and it led to a sense of failure.

kuid ma tundsin end ebaõnnestununa.

But actually, there was something quite real in my life

Tegelikult oli mu elus ka midagi üsna tõelist,

that happened when I was about 14.

mis juhtus, kui ma olin 14-aastane.

And it was discovered that my brother, in 1967, and then my father,

See oli 1967. aastal, kui avastati, et mu vennal

six months later, had brain tumors.

ja kuus kuud hiljem ka isal, olid ajukasvajad.

And my mother believed that something had gone wrong,

Mu ema uskus, et midagi oli valesti läinud

and she was gonna find out what it was, and she was gonna fix it.

ning ta pidi selle välja uurima ja korda tegema.

My father was a Baptist minister, and he believed in miracles,

Mu isa oli baptistist kirikuõpetaja, kes uskus imedesse,

and that God's will would take care of that.

ning et Jumala tahe hoolitseb selle eest.

But, of course, they ended up dying, six months apart.

Kuid loomulikult nad lõpuks surid, kuuekuuse vahega.

And after that, my mother believed that it was fate, or curses

Pärast seda uskus mu ema, et see oli kas saatus või needus

-- she went looking through all the reasons in the universe

-- ta vaatas läbi kõikvõimalikud põhjused,

why this would have happened.

miks see juhtuda võis.

Everything except randomness. She did not believe in randomness.

Kõik peale juhuslikkuse. Ta ei uskunud juhuslikkusesse.

There was a reason for everything.

Kõigel oli põhjus

And one of the reasons, she thought, was that her mother,

ning üks põhjustest oli tema arvates asjaolu, et tema ema,

who had died when she was very young, was angry at her.

kes suri juba siis, kui minu ema oli väga noor, oli tema peale vihane.

And so, I had this notion of death all around me,

Mu ümber valitses selline arusaam surmast,

because my mother also believed that I would be next, and she would be next.

kuna mu ema uskus ka, et mina olen järgmine, ning et ka tema on järgmine.

And when you are faced with the prospect of death very soon,

Kui sa oled vastamisi teadmisega, et su lähituleviku väljavaates laiutab surm,

you begin to think very much about everything.

hakkad sa väga põhjalikult kõige üle mõtlema.

You become very creative, in a survival sense.

Ellujäämise mõttes muutud sa väga loominguliseks.

And this, then, led to my big questions.

See siis juhtiski mind suurte küsimusteni.

And they're the same ones that I have today.

Ning need on samad küsimused, mis mul on täna.

And they are: why do things happen, and how do things happen?

Need on: miks midagi juhtub ja kuidas midagi juhtub?

And the one my mother asked: how do I make things happen?

Ja üks, mida mu ema küsis: kuidas saan mina midagi juhtuma panna?

It's a wonderful way to look at these questions, when you write a story.

Suurepärane viis nendele küsimustele vastuse otsimiseks on mõne loo kirjutamisel,

Because, after all, in that framework, between page one and 300,

kuna lõppude lõpuks pead sa neis raamides, 1. ja 300. lk vahel,

you have to answer this question of why things happen, how things happen,

vastama küsimusele, miks midagi juhtub, kuidas midagi juhtub

in what order they happen. What are the influences?

ning millises järjekorras need juhtuvad. Mis on mõjujõuks?

How do I, as the narrator, as the writer, also influence that?

Kuidas mina kui jutuvestja, kui kirjanik, seda omalt poolt mõjutan?

And it's also one that, I think, many of our scientists have been asking.

Ja see on ka midagi, mida ma arvan, et paljud teadlased on küsinud.

It's a kind of cosmology, and I have to develop a cosmology of my own universe,

See on mingisugune kosmoloogia ja mina pean looma oma universumi kosmoloogia,

as the creator of that universe.

olles kogu selle universumi looja.

And you see, there's a lot of back and forth

Selles on palju edasi-tagasi vaatamist,

in trying to make that happen, trying to figure it out

püüdes seda kõike luua, püüdes sellest aru saada

-- years and years, oftentimes.

-- tihtipeale aastaid ja aastaid.

So, when I look at creativity, I also think that it is this sense or this inability

Niisiis, kui ma mõtlen loomingulisusele, mõtlen ma ka, et see on see tunnetus või see suutmatus

to repress, my looking at associations in practically anything in life.

maha suruda harjumust otsida seoseid praktiliselt kõige vahel elus.

And I got a lot of them during what's been going on

Ning mul on tekkinud palju selliseid seoseid

throughout this conference,

kogu selle konverentsi jooksul,

almost everything that's been going on.

peaaegu kõige vahel, mis siin on juhtunud.

And so I'm going to use, as the metaphor, this association:

Seega ma kasutan metafoorina järgmist seost:

quantum mechanics, which I really don't understand,

kvantmehaanika, millest ma tõepoolest aru ei saa,

but I'm still gonna use it as the process

kuid ma kasutan seda siiski kui protsessi,

for explaining how it is the metaphor.

kirjeldamaks kuidas see on metafoor.

So, in quantum mechanics, of course, you have dark energy and dark matter.

Kvantmehaanikas on meil teadagi tume energia ja tume aine.

And it's the same thing in looking at these questions of how things happen.

Ja niisamuti on nende küsimustega, et kuidas midagi juhtub.

There's a lot of unknown, and you often don't know what it is except by its absence.

On palju tundmatut ning tihtipeale sa ei teagi sellest midagi rohkemat, kui et see puudub.

But when you make those associations,

Kuid neid seoseid luues

you want them to come together in a kind of synergy in the story,

soovid sa, et need jutustuses teatud sünergia abil kokku sulanduksid,

and what you're finding is what matters. The meaning.

ning see, mis sa leiad, ongi see, mis on tähtis. Tähendus.

And that's what I look for in my work, a personal meaning.

See ongi see, mida mina oma töödes otsin - isiklikku tähendust.

There is also the uncertainty principle, which is part of quantum mechanics,

Kvantmehaanika üks osa on ka määramatuse printsiip,

as I understand it. (Laughter)

nagu ma aru saan. (Naer)

And this happens constantly in the writing.

Ja see juhtub pidevalt ka kirjutamisel.

And there's the terrible and dreaded observer effect,

Selles on ka kohutav ja kardetud pealtvaataja efekt,

in which you're looking for something, and

mille puhul sa otsid midagi

you know, things are happening simultaneously,

ja sa tead, et mingid asjad juhtuvad üheaegselt,

and you're looking at it in a different way,

ja sa vaatad sellele teistmoodi

and you're trying to really look for the about-ness,

ning püüad tõesti leida sisu.

or what is this story about. And if you try too hard,

Või seda, millest see lugu räägib. Ja kui sa püüad liiga palju,

then you will only write the about.

kirjutad sa ainult sellest sisust.

You won't discover anything.

Sa ei avasta midagi uut.

And what you were supposed to find,

Ning see, mida sa oleksid pidanud leidma,

what you hoped to find in some serendipitous way,

mida sa lootsid leida, kuidagi pooljuhuslikult,

is no longer there.

ei ole enam seal.

Now, I don't want to ignore

Ma ei taha kõrvale vaadata

the other side of what happens in our universe,

teisest vaatenurgast selle kohta, mis meie universumis toimub,

like many of our scientists have.

nagu paljud teadlased on teinud.

And so, I am going to just throw in string theory here,

Seega lülitan ma siia sisse ka stringiteooria

and just say that creative people are multidimensional,

ja ütlen, et loomingulised inimesed on mitmedimensioonilised,

and there are 11 levels, I think, of anxiety.

ja et minu arvates on olemas 11 erinevat ärevuse taset.

(Laughter) And they all operate at the same time.

(Naer) Ja need kõik töötavad korraga.

There is also a big question of ambiguity.

Lisaks on ka suur küsimus mitmemõttelisuse kohta.

And I would link that to something called the cosmological constant.

Selle ma ühendaksin millegagi, mida kutsutakse kosmoloogiliseks konstandiks.

And you don't know what is operating, but something is operating there.

Sa ei tea, mis parasjagu töötab, kuid tead, et miski töötab.

And ambiguity, to me, is very uncomfortable

Mitmemõttelisus tekitab mulle elus väga palju ebamugavust,

in my life, and I have it. Moral ambiguity.

ja seda mul jätkub. Moraalne mitmemõttelisus.

It is constantly there. And, just as an example,

See on alati olemas. Ja lihtsalt näiteks,

this is one that recently came to me.

see on midagi, mis minuga hiljuti juhtus.

It was something I read in an editorial by a woman

Ma lugesin seda ühes juhtkirjas, mis oli kirjutatud ühe naise poolt,

who was talking about the war in Iraq. And she said,

kes rääkis Iraagi sõjast. Ja ta kirjutas:

"Save a man from drowning, you are responsible to him for life."

"Päästa inimene uppumisest ja sa vastutad tema ees kogu elu."

A very famous Chinese saying, she said.

Üks väga kuulus hiina vanasõna, ta kirjutas.

And that means because we went into Iraq, we should stay there

Ja see tähendab, et kuna me juba Iraaki läksime, peaksime sinna ka jääma,

until things were solved. You know, maybe even 100 years.

kuni kõik on lahendatud. Kasvõi sajaks aastaks.

So, there was another one that I came across,

Oli ka üks teine ütlus, milleni ma jõudsin,

and it's "saving fish from drowning."

ja see on: "Päästame kalu uppumisest."

And it's what Buddhist fishermen say,

Seda kasutavad budistlikud kalamehed,

because they're not supposed to kill anything.

kuna nad ei tohi kedagi tappa.

And they also have to make a living, and people need to be fed.

Kuid ka nemad peavad millestki ära elama ja inimesed peavad toidetud saama.

So their way of rationalizing that is they are saving the fish from drowning,

Seega nad kohandasid olukorda, öeldes, et päästavad kalu uppumisest,

and unfortunately, in the process the fish die.

kuigi kahjuks selle tegevuse jooksul kalad surevad.

Now, what's encapsulated in both these drowning metaphors

Nüüd, mis neis mõlemas uppumise metafooris sisaldub

-- actually, one of them is my mother's interpretation,

-- tegelikult, üks neist on mu ema tõlgendus,

and it is a famous Chinese saying, because she said it to me:

ning see on kuulus hiina ütlus, kuna ta ütles mulle:

"save a man from drowning, you are responsible to him for life."

"Päästa inimene uppumisest ja sa vastutad tema ees kogu elu."

And it was a warning -- don't get involved in other people's business,

Ning see oli hoiatus -- ära topi oma nina teiste inimeste asjadesse

or you're going to get stuck.

või sa jääd sellesse kinni.

OK. I think if somebody really was drowning, she'd save them.

OK. Ma arvan, et kui keegi tõepoolest oleks uppumas, mu ema ikkagi päästaks ta.

But, both of these sayings -- saving a fish from drowning,

Kuid mõlemad ütlused, päästes kala uppumisest

or saving a man from drowning -- to me they had to do with intentions.

või päästes inimest uppumisest, minu jaoks on need seotud kavatsustega.

And all of us in life, when we see a situation, we have a response.

Kõik me oma elus, kui me oleme mingis olukorras, on meil sellele mingi vastus.

And then we have intentions.

Ning siis on meil kavatsused.

There's an ambiguity of what that should be that we should do,

See, mida me siis tegema peaks, on mitmeti mõistetav

and then we do something.

ning siis me teeme midagi.

And the results of that may not match what our intentions had been.

Ja selle tegevuse tulemus ei pruugi meie kavatsustega kokku minna.

Maybe things go wrong. And so, after that, what are our responsibilities?

Võib-olla lähevad asjad valesti. Ning siis, peale seda, mis on meie vastutus?

What are we supposed to do?

Mida me peaksime tegema?

Do we stay in for life,

Kas me jääme terveks eluks koju

or do we do something else and justify and say, well, my intentions were good,

või teeme me midagi muud ning õigustame ja ütleme, et vähemalt ma tahtsin teha head

and therefore I cannot be held responsible for all of it?

ning seetõttu ei ole ma selle kõige eest vastutav?

That is the ambiguity in my life

See on minu elu mitmemõttelisus,

that really disturbed me, and led me to write a book called

mis mind tõsiselt häiris, kuid juhtis mind kirjutama raamatut nimega

"Saving Fish From Drowning."

"Päästes kalu uppumisest".

I saw examples of that. Once I identified this question, it was all over the place.

Ma nägin selle kohta näiteid, kui ma olin küsimuse välja selgitanud. See oli kõikjal.

I got these hints everywhere.

Ma sain neid vihjeid igalt poolt.

And then, in a way, I knew that they had always been there.

Ja siis, mingil moel, teadsin ma, et need on alati seal olnud.

And then writing, that's what happens. I get these hints, these clues,

Ning kirjutamine on see, mis seejärel juhtub. Ma saan vihjeid, niidiotsi,

and I realize that they've been obvious, and yet they have not been.

ja ma mõistan, et need on olnud enesestmõistetavad ning samas ka mitte.

And what I need, in effect, is a focus.

Mida ma tegelikult vajan, on fookus.

And when I have the question, it is a focus.

Kui mul on küsimus, siis see ongi fookus.

And all these things that seem to be flotsam and jetsam in life actually go through

Ning kõik need asjad elus, mis tunduvad kui tarbetult triiviv risu,

that question, and what happens is those particular things become relevant.

saavad selle küsimuse kaudu oluliseks.

And it seems like it's happening all the time.

Ning tundub, justkui juhtuks see kogu aeg.

You think there's a sort of coincidence going on, a serendipity,

Sa mõtled, et see on juhuslik, kogemata juhtunud,

in which you're getting all this help from the universe.

saades abi universumist.

And it may also be explained that now you have a focus.

Aga seda võib põhjendada ka sellega, et sul on fookus.

And you are noticing it more often.

Ning sa märkad seda üha enam,

But you apply this.

aga ka rakendad.

You begin to look at things having to do with your tensions.

Sa hakkad asjadele vaatama sõltuvalt oma huvist.

Your brother, who's fallen in trouble, do you take care of him?

Su vend, kes on sattunud pahandustesse, kas sa hoolitsed tema eest?

Why or why not?

Miks või miks mitte?

It may be something that is perhaps more serious

See võib olla midagi, mis on ehk veel tõsisem

-- as I said, human rights in Burma.

-- nagu ma ütlesin, inimõigused Burmas.

I was thinking that I shouldn't go because somebody said, if I did, it would show

Ma mõtlesin, et ma ei peaks minema, kuna keegi ütles, et kui ma lähen, näitab see,

that I approved of the military regime there.

et ma pooldan sealset militaarset korda.

And then, after a while, I had to ask myself,

Ning mõne aja pärast pidin ma endalt küsima:

"Why do we take on knowledge, why do we take on assumptions

"Miks me võtame vastu teadmised, miks me võtame vastu eeldused,

that other people have given us?"

mis teised inimesed on meile andnud?"

And it was the same thing that I felt when I was growing up,

See oli seesama, mida ma tundsin, kui ma üles kasvasin,

and was hearing these rules of moral conduct from my father,

kuuldes neid moraalse käitumise reegleid oma isalt,

who was a Baptist minister.

kes oli baptistist kirikuõpetaja.

So I decided that I would go to Burma for my own intentions,

Seega ma otsustasin, et ma lähen Burmasse iseenda pärast,

and still didn't know that if I went there,

kuigi ma ei teadnud, et kui ma lähen,

what the result of that would be, if I wrote a book --

siis milline oleks selle tulemus, kui ma kirjutaksin raamatu --

and I just would have to face that later, when the time came.

ning ma peaksin sellele hiljem lihtsalt vastu astuma, kui tuleb õige aeg.

We are all concerned with things that we see in the world that we are aware of.

Meid kõiki puudutavad asjad, mida me endale teadaolevas maailmas näeme.

We come to this point and say, what do I as an individual do?

Me jõuame sellesse punkti ja küsime, mida mina kui üksikisik teen?

Not all of us can go to Africa, or work at hospitals,

Mitte kõik meie seast ei saa minna Aafrikasse või töötada haiglates,

so what do we do, if we have this moral response, this feeling?

siis mida me peaksime tegema, kui meil on see moraalne vastus, see tunne?

Also, I think one of the biggest things we are all looking at,

Lisaks, ma arvan, et üks suurimaid asju, mida me kõik vaatleme

and we talked about today, is genocide.

ning millest me täna rääkisime, on genotsiid.

This leads to this question.

See juhatab selle küsimuseni,

When I look at all these things that are morally ambiguous and uncomfortable,

kui ma mõtlen kõigile asjadele, mis on moraalselt mitmetähenduslikud ja ebamugavad

and I consider what my intentions should be,

ning ma mõtlen, mis minu kavatsused peaksid olema,

I realize it goes back to this identity question that I had when I was a child

saan ma aru, et see viib tagasi identiteediküsimuseni, mis mul lapsena tekkis

-- and why am I here, and what is the meaning of my life,

-- miks ma olen siin ning mis on minu elu mõte,

and what is my place in the universe?

mis on minu koht universumis?

It seems so obvious, and yet it is not.

See paistab nii ilmselge, aga siiski ei ole.

We all hate moral ambiguity in some sense,

Me kõik vihkame mingis mõttes moraalset mitmetähenduslikkust,

and yet it is also absolutely necessary.

kuid ometi on see täiesti vajalik.

In writing a story, it is the place where I begin.

Loo kirjutamisel alustan ma just sellest.

Sometimes I get help from the universe, it seems.

Mõnikord saan ma abi universumist, mulle tundub.

My mother would say it was the ghost of my grandmother from the very first book,

Mu ema ütleks, et see oli see mu vanaema kummitus esimesest raamatust,

because it seemed I knew things I was not supposed to know.

kuna tundus, et ma teadsin asju, mida ma ei oleks pidanud teadma.

Instead of writing that the grandmother died accidentally,

Selle asemel, et kirjutada, et vanaema suri õnnetuse tagajärjel

from an overdose of opium, while having too much of a good time,

oopiumi üledoosi, kui ta parajasti lõbutses,

I actually put down in the story that the woman killed herself,

kirjutasin ma tegelikult, et ta tappis end,

and that actually was the way it happened.

ning see oli ka tõepoolest see, mis juhtus.

And my mother decided that that information must have come from my grandmother.

Ning mu ema otsustas, et see info pidi tulema mu vanaemalt.

There are also things, quite uncanny,

On ka asju, üsna üleloomulikke,

which bring me information that will help me in the writing of the book.

mis toovad mulle infot, mis aitab mul raamatut kirjutada.

In this case, I was writing a story

Näiteks, ma kirjutasin üht lugu,

that included some kind of detail, period of history, a certain location.

mis sisaldas teatud detaile, ajaperioodi, kindlat asukohta.

And I needed to find something historically that would match that.

Ning ma pidin leidma midagi ajaloolist, mis sellega kokku sobiks.

And I took down this book, and I --

Ja ma võtsin kätte selle raamatu, ja ma ---

first page that I flipped it to was exactly the setting, and the time period,

esimene lehekülg, millele ma pöörasin, oli täpselt samas tegevuspaigas ning ajaperioodil.

and the kind of character I needed -- was the Taiping rebellion,

Ja tegevuspaik, mida mul vaja oli, oli Taipingi ülestõus,

happening in the area near Guilin, outside of that,

mis toimus Qualini lähedal, sellest väljaspool,

and a character who thought he was the son of God.

ning tegelane, kes pidas end Jumala pojaks.

You wonder, are these things random chance?

Sa mõtled, kas see on juhuslik kokkusattumus?

Well, what is random? What is chance? What is luck?

Või mis üldse on juhuslik? Mis on võimalus? Mis on õnn?

What are things that you get from the universe that you can't really explain?

Mis on need asjad, mida sa saad universumist, kuid mida sa tegelikult seletada ei suuda?

And that goes into the story, too.

Ja see on ka osa jutustusest.

These are the things I constantly think about from day to day.

Need on asjad, millele ma päevast päeva pidevalt mõtlen.

Especially when good things happen,

Eriti kui juhtuvad head asjad

and, in particular, when bad things happen.

ja veelgi rohkem, kui juhtuvad halvad asjad.

But I do think there's a kind of serendipity,

Kuid ma usun, et on olemas mingisugune õnnelik juhus,

and I do want to know what those elements are,

ja ma tahan teada, mis on selle elemendid,

so I can thank them, and also try to find them in my life.

et ma saaksin neid tänada ning neid oma elust leida.

Because, again, I think that when I am aware of them, more of them happen.

Sest, ma ütlen veelkord, ma usun, et kui ma olen neist teadlik, juhtub neid rohkem.

Another chance encounter is when I went to a place

Veel üks kokkusattumus oli, kui ma läksin ühte kohta

-- I just was with some friends, and we drove randomly to a different place,

-- ma olin lihtsalt mõnede sõpradega ning me sõitsime juhuslikult ühte teise kohta,

and we ended up in this non-tourist location,

kuid jõudsime sellesse mitte-turismipaika,

a beautiful village, pristine.

ilus külake, puutumata.

And we walked three valleys beyond,

Me jalutasime läbi kolme oru

and the third valley, there was something quite mysterious and ominous,

ning kolmandas orus oli midagi üsna müstilist ja pahaendelist,

a discomfort I felt. And then I knew that had to be [the] setting of my book.

ma tundsin ebamugavust. Ja sel hetkel ma teadsin, et see peab olema mu raamatu tegevuspaik.

And in writing one of the scenes, it happened in that third valley.

Üks sündmuskoht, millest ma kirjutasin, oli seesama kolmas org.

For some reason I wrote about cairns -- stacks of rocks -- that a man was building.

Mingil põhjusel kirjutasin ma kivikuhilatest, mida üks mees ehitas.

And I didn't know exactly why I had it, but it was so vivid.

Ning ma ei teadnud täpselt, miks ma see mul seal oli, kuid kujutluspilt oli väga elav.

I got stuck, and a friend, when she asked if I would go for a walk with her dogs,

Ma takerdusin veidi ning üks sõber palus mul oma koertega jalutama minna,

that I said, sure. And about 45 minutes later,

ma olin nõus. Ning umbes 45 minutit hiljem,

walking along the beach, I came across this.

jalutades mööda rannaäärt, jõudsin ma selleni.

And it was a man, a Chinese man,

See oli üks mees, hiinlane,

and he was stacking these things, not with glue, not with anything.

kes ladus neidsamu kive hunnikusse, ilma liimita, ilma milletagi.

And I asked him, "How is it possible to do this?"

Ma küsisin, kuidas on see võimalik,

And he said, "Well, I guess with everything in life, there's a place of balance."

ning ta vastas: "Ma arvan et kõigel meie elus on olemas tasakaal."

And this was exactly the meaning of my story at that point.

See oli sel hetkel ka täpselt minu jutustuse mõte.

I had so many examples -- I have so many instances like this, when I'm writing a story,

Mul oli nii palju näiteid -- mul on nii palju sarnaseid juhtumeid, kui ma parajasti mõnda lugu kirjutan,

and I cannot explain it.

ning ma ei oska seda seletada.

Is it because I had the filter that I have such a strong coincidence

On see seetõttu, et ma usun, et mul lihtsalt on sellised suured kokkusattumused,

in writing about these things?

kui ma neist parasjagu kirjutan?

Or is it a kind of serendipity that we cannot explain, like the cosmological constant?

Või on see mingisugune õnnelik juhus, mida me ei saa seletada, nagu on ka kosmoloogiline konstant?

A big thing that I also think about is accidents.

Üks tähtis teema, millest ma samuti tihti mõtlen, on õnnetused.

And as I said, my mother did not believe in randomness.

Ning nagu ma ütlesin, mu ema ei uskunud juhuslikkusesse.

What is the nature of accidents?

Mis on õnnetuste olemus?

And how are we going to assign what the responsibility and the causes are,

Ning kuidas me saame hinnata tagajärgi ja põhjuseid

outside of a court of law?

väljaspool kohtumaja?

I was able to see that in a firsthand way,

Mul oli võimalus seda oma silmaga näha,

when I went to beautiful Dong village, in Guizhou, the poorest province of China.

kui ma läksin imeilusasse Dongi külla Goizhous, mis on Hiina kõige vaesem provints.

And I saw this beautiful place. I knew I wanted to come back.

Ja ma nägin seda imeilusat kohta ning teadsin, et ma tahan siia tagasi tulla.

And I had a chance to do that, when National Geographic asked me

Mul oli see võimalus, kui National Geographic küsis,

if I wanted to write anything about China.

kas ma tahaksin midagi Hiina kohta kirjutada.

And I said yes, about this village of singing people, singing minority.

Ja ma vastasin "Jah, sellest laulvate inimeste külast, laulvast vähemusest."

And they agreed, and between the time I saw this place and the next time I went,

Nad olid nõus. Mu esimese ja teise külastuse vahepealsel ajal

there was a terrible accident. A man, an old man, fell asleep,

oli toimunud üks kohutav õnnetus. Üks vana mees jäi magama

and his quilt dropped in a pan of fire that kept him warm.

ning ta tekk kukkus tuleasemele, mis hoidis teda soojas.

60 homes were destroyed, and 40 were damaged.

60 kodu hävis ja 40 sai kahjustada.

Responsibility was assigned to the family.

Vastutuse kandmine määrati perekonnale.

The man's sons were banished to live three kilometers away, in a cowshed.

Mehe pojad pidid karistuseks elama kolme km kaugusel lehmalaudas.

And, of course, as Westerners, we say, "Well, it was an accident. That's not fair.

Ja nagu ikka, läänemeelsetena ütleme me, et see oli õnnetus ning see on ebaaus.

It's the son, not the father."

See on poeg, mitte isa.

When I go on a story, I have to let go of those kinds of beliefs.

Ent kui ma kirjutan lugu, pean ma sellistest uskumustest lahti laskma.

It takes a while, but I have to let go of them and just go there, and be there.

See võtab aega, aga ma pean neist lahti laskma ning lihtsalt sinna minema ja seal olema.

And so I was there on three occasions, different seasons.

Seega ma olin seal kolmel korral, erinevatel aastaaegadel.

And I began to sense something different about the history,

Ning ma hakkasin tajuma midagi erinevat ajaloo kohta

and what had happened before, and the nature of life in a very poor village,

ning selle kohta, mis varasemalt juhtunud oli, ja elu kohta väga vaeses külas,

and what you find as your joys, and your rituals, your traditions, your links

ning selle kohta, mida sa pead enda rõõmudeks, rituaalideks, traditsioonideks, sidemeteks

with other families. And I saw how this had a kind of justice, in its responsibility.

teiste perekondadega. Ma nägin, kuidas seal oli mingi õiglus vastutustundes.

I was able to find out also about the ceremony that they were using,

Mul õnnestus ka uurida tseremoonia kohta, mida nad kasutasid,

a ceremony they hadn't used in about 29 years. And it was to send some men

tseremoonia, mida nad ei olnud kasutanud umbes 29 aastat. See tähendas, et mehi saadeti

-- a Feng Shui master sent men down to the underworld on ghost horses.

-- Feng Shui meister saatis mehi kummitushobustel allmaailma.

Now you, as Westerners, and I, as Westerners,

Teie kui lääne inimesed ja mina kui lääne inimene

would say well, that's superstition. But after being there for a while,

ütleksime, et see on kõigest uskumus. Kuid pärast mõnda aega seal kohalviibimist

and seeing the amazing things that happened,

ning kõigi uskumatute asjade nägemist

you begin to wonder whose beliefs are those that are in operation in the world,

hakkad sa mõtlema selle üle, kelle uskumusi maailmas kasutatakse

determining how things happen.

selleks, et tõlgendada, kuidas midagi juhtub.

So I remained with them, and the more I wrote that story,

Seega ma jäin nendega ning mida enam ma seda lugu kirjutasin,

the more I got into those beliefs, and I think that's important for me

seda enam hakkasin ma uskuma nende uskumusi, ning ma usun, et see on mulle oluline

-- to take on the beliefs, because that is where the story is real,

-- uskumuste vastu võtmine, kuna see on koht, kus lugu on tõeline,

and that is where I'm gonna find the answers

ning see on koht, kust ma leian vastused

to how I feel about certain questions that I have in life.

sellele, kuidas ma suhtun teatud küsimustesse oma elus.

Years go by, of course, and the writing, it doesn't happen instantly,

Aastad lähevad loomulikult mööda ja kirjutamine, see ei juhtu kohe,

as I'm trying to convey it to you here at TED.

nagu ma püüan seda teile siin TEDil edasi anda.

The book comes and it goes. When it arrives, it is no longer my book.

Raamat tuleb ja läheb. Kui see saabub, ei ole see enam minu raamat.

It is in the hands of readers, and they interpret it differently.

See on lugejate kätes ning nemad tõlgendavad seda erinevalt.

But I go back to this question of, how do I create something out of nothing?

Kuid ma lähen tagasi selle küsimuse juurde, kuidas ma loon midagi eimillestki?

And how do I create my own life?

Nind kuidas ma loon omaenda elu?

And I think it is by questioning,

Ma usun, et see on läbi küsimuste

and saying to myself that there are no absolute truths.

ning endale tunnistades, et absoluutset tõde ei ole olemas.

I believe in specifics, the specifics of story,

Ma usun üksikasjadesse, loo üksikasjadesse,

and the past, the specifics of that past,

ja minevikku, mineviku üksikasjadesse,

and what is happening in the story at that point.

ning sellesse, mis jutustuses parajasti juhtub.

I also believe that in thinking about things --

Ma usun ka, et mõeldes asjadele,

my thinking about luck, and fate, and coincidences and accidents,

oma mõtetes õnne, saatuse, kokkusattumuste ja õnnetuste kohta,

God's will, and the synchrony of mysterious forces --

Jumala tahte ja müstiliste jõudude sünkroonilisuse kohta,

I will come to some notion of what that is, how we create.

jõuan ma mingi arvamuseni, mis see on, kuidas me loome.

I have to think of my role. Where I am in the universe,

Ma pean mõtlema oma rollile. Kus olen mina universumis

and did somebody intend for me to be that way, or is it just something I came up with?

ja kas keegi nägi ette, et ma selline pean olema või jõudsin ma lihtsalt ise selleni?

And I also can find that by imagining fully, and becoming what is imagined --

Ning ma leian selle ka tõeliselt kujutledes ning saades selleks, mida ma kujutlen,

and yet is in that real world, the fictional world.

ent mis ometi on reaalses maailmas vaid väljamõeldud maailm.

And that is how I find particles of truth, not the absolute truth, or the whole truth.

See on viis, kuidas ma leian tõeterasid, mitte absoluutset tõde või kogu tõde.

And they have to be in all possibilities,

Need peavad olema igas võimaluses,

including those I never considered before.

kaas arvatud need, mida ma iial varem ei ole kaalunud.

So, there are never complete answers.

Seega ei ole olemas täielikke vastuseid.

Or rather, if there is an answer, it is to remind

Või isegi kui on vastus, on see vaid meenutamiseks,

myself that there is uncertainty in everything,

et igas asjas on määramatust,

and that is good, because then I will discover something new.

mis on hea, sest see aitab mul avastada midagi uut.

And if there is a partial answer, a more complete answer from me,

Ning kui on olemas poolik vastus, siis täielikum vastus minu poolt,

it is to simply imagine.

see on lihtsalt oma kujutleda.

And to imagine is to put myself in that story,

Kujutlemine on vaid enda loo sisse panemine,

until there was only -- there is a transparency between me and the story that I am creating.

kuni on ainult -- minu ja minu loodava jutustuse vahel on läbipaistvus.

And that's how I've discovered that if I feel what is in the story

Niimoodi olen ma avastanud, et kui ma tunnetan, mis selles loos on

-- in one story -- then I come the closest, I think,

-- ühes loos -- jõuan ma kõige lähemale, ma arvan,

to knowing what compassion is, to feeling that compassion.

teadmisele, mis on kaastunne, ja selle kaastunde tundmisele.

Because for everything,

Sest kõik

in that question of how things happen, it has to do with the feeling.

selles küsimuses, kuidas miski juhtub, on seotud tunnetega.

I have to become the story in order to understand a lot of that.

Ma pean saama oma jutustuseks, et seda mõista.

We've come to the end of the talk,

Me oleme jõudnud selle kõnega lõpule

and I will reveal what is in the bag, and it is the muse,

ning ma paljastan, mis on selles kotis, see on muusa,

and it is the things that transform in our lives,

see on kõik need asjad, mille tähendus meie elus muutub,

that are wonderful and stay with us.

mis on imelised ja mis jäävad meiega.

There she is.

Seal ta on.

Thank you very much!

Suured tänud!

(Applause)

(Aplaus)