Where does creativity hide? | Amy Tan

Translator: Resty Cena Reviewer: chris s

The Value of Nothing: Out of Nothing Comes Something.

Ang halaga ng wala: mula sa wala, sumisibol ang isang bagay.

That was an essay I wrote when I was 11 years old

Isang sanaysay ito na sinulat ko noong ako'y 11ng taong gulang

and I got a B+. (Laughter)

at ang nakuha ko ay B+ (Tawanan)

What I'm going to talk about: nothing out of something, and how we create.

Ang tatalakayin ko: wala mula sa mayroon, at kung paano tayo lumilikha.

And I'm gonna try and do that within

At susubukin kong gawin ito so loob

the 18-minute time span that we were told to stay within,

ng 18-minuto na pataan sa atin,

and to follow the TED commandments:

at sundin ang "the TED commandments":

that is, actually, something that creates

kung baga'y, ang totoo'y, isang bagay na lumilikha

a near-death experience,

ng karanasang bingit-sa-kamatayan,

but near-death is good for creativity.

pero ang bingit-sa-kamatayan ay mabuti sa pagkamalikhain.

(Laughter) OK.

(Tawanan) OK.

So, I also want to explain,

Kaya, gusto ko ring ipaliwanag,

because Dave Eggers said he was going to heckle me

dahil sinabi ni Dave Eggers na bubuligligin niya ako

if I said anything that was a lie, or not true to universal creativity.

kung may sasabihin akong isang kasinungalingan, o hindi totoo tungkol sa unibersal na pagkamalikhain

And I've done it this way for half the audience, who is scientific.

At nagawa ko ito sa ganitong paraan para sa kalahati ng naririto, na siyentipiko.

When I say we, I don't mean you, necessarily;

Kapag sinasabi kong tayo, hindi ko ibig tukuying kayo nga.

I mean me, and my right brain, my left brain

Ang ibig kong sabihin ay ako, at ang kanan kong utak, ang kaliwa kong utak,

and the one that's in between that is the censor

at ang nakapagitan na siyang tagasulit

and tells me what I'm saying is wrong.

at nagsasabi sa akin na ang sinasabi ko ay mali.

And I'm going do that also by looking at

At gagawin ko iyan na tumitingin din sa

what I think is part of my creative process,

ipinapalagay ko na bahagi ng aking pamamaraan sa paglikha,

which includes a number of things that happened, actually --

na binubuo ng ilang bagay na nangyari, ang totoo –

the nothing started even earlier than the moment

ang wala ay nagsimula nang mas nauna pa sa sandali

in which I'm creating something new.

ng paglikha ko ng isang bagay na bago.

And that includes nature, and nurture,

Kasama na rito ang kalikasan, at pag-aaruga

and what I refer to as nightmares.

at ang tinutukoy ko na mga bangungot.

Now in the nature area, we look at whether or not

Ngayon sa larang ng kalikasan, tinitingnan natin kung totoo o hindi

we are innately equipped with something, perhaps

na mayroon tayong likas na kung ano, baka

in our brains, some abnormal chromosome

sa ating utak, may di-pangkaraniwang chromosome

that causes this muse-like effect.

na siyang sanhi ng mala-musang epekto.

And some people would say that we're born with it in some other means.

May mga taong magsasabi na ipinanganak tayong mayroon nito,

And others, like my mother,

at ang iba, tulad ng ina ko,

would say that I get my material from past lives.

ay magsasabi na nakukuha ko ang mga materyal ko sa nangakaraang buhay.

Some people would also say that creativity

May mga tao rin na magsasabi na ang pagkamalikhain

may be a function of some other neurological quirk --

ay maaaring dala ng kapansanang neurological --

van Gogh syndrome -- that you have a little bit of, you know, psychosis, or depression.

syndrome ni van Gogh -- na mayroon ka kahit kapiraso, alam mo na, psychosis, o depression.

I do have to say, somebody -- I read recently

Dapat kong sabihin, may isang tao – nabasa ko kamakailan lang

that van Gogh wasn't really necessarily psychotic,

na baka hindi naman talagang psychotic si van Gogh,

that he might have had temporal lobe seizures,

na mayroon siyang temporal lobe seizures,

and that might have caused his spurt of creativity, and I don't --

at maaaring siyang sanhi ng bugso ng pagkamalikhain, at hindi ko –

I suppose it does something in some part of your brain.

siguro ikako may epekto iyon sa isang parte ng iyong utak.

And I will mention that I actually developed

At gusto ko ring banggitin na ang totoo'y nagkaroon ako

temporal lobe seizures a number of years ago,

ng temporal lobe seizures ilang taon na ang nararaan,

but it was during the time I was writing my last book,

pero iyon ay noong sinusulat ko ang huli kong libro,

and some people say that book is quite different.

at may ilang nagsasabi na ang librong iyon ay talagang naiiba.

I think that part of it also begins with a sense of identity crisis:

Palagay ko'y may bahagi ito na nagsisimula sa nararamdamang identity crisis:

you know, who am I, why am I this particular person,

alam mo na, sino ako, bakit ako ay itong partikular na taong ito,

why am I not black like everybody else?

bakit hindi ako itim na tulad ng lahat?

And sometimes you're equipped with skills,

At kung minsa'y mayroon kang mga kasanayan

but they may not be the kind of skills that enable creativity.

pero hindi sila ang uri ng kasanayan na nakapagbibigay ng pagkamalikhain.

I used to draw. I thought I would be an artist.

Dati'y nagdo-drowing ako. Akala ko'y magiging pintor ako.

And I had a miniature poodle.

At mayroon akong isang munting poodle.

And it wasn't bad, but it wasn't really creative.

At okey naman din siya, pero hindi talagang malikhain.

Because all I could really do was represent in a very one-on-one way.

Dahil sa ang nagagawa ko lang ay maglarawan sa isang paraang isa-sa-isa.

And I have a sense that I probably copied this from a book.

At may pakiramdam ako na maaaring kinopya ko ito sa isang libro.

And then, I also wasn't really shining in a certain area that I wanted to be,

At saka hindi rin ako sumisikat sa isa pang gawaing gusto ko,

and you know, you look at those scores, and it wasn't bad,

at alam mo na, titingnan mo ang mga marka, at hindi naman masama,

but it was not certainly predictive that I would one day make

pero walang sinasabi kung isang araw ay

my living out of the artful arrangement of words.

mabubuhay ako sa makasining na pag-aayos ng mga salita.

Also, one of the principles of creativity is to have a little childhood trauma.

Isa pa, isa sa mga prinsipyo ng pagkamalikhain ay ang magkaroon ng konting childhood trauma.

And I had the usual kind that I think a lot of people had,

At naranasan ko ang karaniwang uri na naranasan ng maraming tao,

and that is that, you know, I had expectations placed on me.

at ito ang, alam mo na, mga inaasahan sa akin.

That figure right there, by the way,

Ang pigurang iyon, mabanggit ko,

figure right there was a toy given to me when I was but nine years old,

ang pigurang iyon ay isang laruang ibinigay sa akin noong ako'y siyam na taon pa lang,

and it was to help me become a doctor from a very early age.

at ito ay para tulungan akong maging doktor nang bata pa.

I have some ones that were long lasting: from the age of five to 15,

Mayroon akong ilan na matagal ang inabot: mula sa limang anyos hanggang sa 15,

this was supposed to be my side occupation,

ito ay para maging sideline ko,

and it led to a sense of failure.

at humantong ito sa kasiphayuan.

But actually, there was something quite real in my life

Pero ang totoo'y mayroong isang bagay na totoong may realidad sa aking buhay

that happened when I was about 14.

na nangyari noong ako ay mga 14.

And it was discovered that my brother, in 1967, and then my father,

At ito'y natuklasan na ang kapatid kong lalaki, noong 1967, at sumunod ang aking ama,

six months later, had brain tumors.

pagkaraan ng anim na buwan, ay mayroon tumor sa utak.

And my mother believed that something had gone wrong,

Ang paniwala ng nanay ko ay may hindi mabuting nangyari,

and she was gonna find out what it was, and she was gonna fix it.

at tutuklasin niya kung ano iyon. At aayusin niya.

My father was a Baptist minister, and he believed in miracles,

Isang ministrong Baptist ang ama ko, at naniniwala siya sa milagro,

and that God's will would take care of that.

at ang kagustuhan ng Diyos ay ang mag-aalaga doon.

But, of course, they ended up dying, six months apart.

Pero namatay din sila, anim na buwan ang pagitan.

And after that, my mother believed that it was fate, or curses

At pagkatapos noon, naniwala ang ina ko na kapalaran iyon, o mga sumpa

-- she went looking through all the reasons in the universe

– ginalugad ang buong mundo para sa dahilan

why this would have happened.

kung bakit kailangang mangyari ito.

Everything except randomness. She did not believe in randomness.

Lahat liban sa ala-suwerte. Hindi siya naniniwala sa ala-suwerte.

There was a reason for everything.

May dahilan ang lahat.

And one of the reasons, she thought, was that her mother,

At isa sa mga dahilan, sa isip niya, ay dahil sa ang kayang ina,

who had died when she was very young, was angry at her.

na namatay noong bata pa siya, ay galit sa kanya.

And so, I had this notion of death all around me,

Kaya't nasa aking isip ang kamatayan ng lahat ng nasa paligid ko

because my mother also believed that I would be next, and she would be next.

dahil sa ang ina ko ay naniniwala na ako ang susunod, at siya ang susunod.

And when you are faced with the prospect of death very soon,

At kapag napaharap ka sa posibilidad ng nalalapit na kamatayan,

you begin to think very much about everything.

sinisimulan mong pag-isipan ang lahat.

You become very creative, in a survival sense.

Nagiging malikhain ka, para mabuhay.

And this, then, led to my big questions.

At ito, kung gayon, ang nagbunsod sa malalaking tanong.

And they're the same ones that I have today.

Ito ang mga tanong na nasa harap ko ngayon.

And they are: why do things happen, and how do things happen?

Tulad ng: Bakit nangyayari ang mga pangyayari, at paano nangyayari ang mga pangyayari?

And the one my mother asked: how do I make things happen?

At ang itinanong ng aking ina: Paano ako makagagawa ng mga pangyayari?

It's a wonderful way to look at these questions, when you write a story.

Isang magandang paraan ng pagtingin sa mga tanong na ito, kapag sumusulat ka ng kuwento.

Because, after all, in that framework, between page one and 300,

Sapagka't sa kabila ng lahat, sa gayong framework, sa pagitan ng unang pahina at 300,

you have to answer this question of why things happen, how things happen,

sasagutin mo ang tanong kung bakit at paano nangyayari ang mga pangyayari,

in what order they happen. What are the influences?

ang sunuran ng mga pangyayari. Ano ang mga impluwensya?

How do I, as the narrator, as the writer, also influence that?

Paano ako, bilang siyang tagapagsalaysay, bilang siyang manunulat, nakakaimpluwensya (sa mga pangyayari)?

And it's also one that, I think, many of our scientists have been asking.

At isa ring ito sa mga tanong ng marami sa ating mga syentipiko.

It's a kind of cosmology, and I have to develop a cosmology of my own universe,

Isang uri ng cosmology, at kailangang kong humubog ng cosmology ng aking sariling sansinukob [universe],

as the creator of that universe.

bilang manlilikha ng nasabing sansinukob.

And you see, there's a lot of back and forth

At makikita mo, maraming urong at sulong

in trying to make that happen, trying to figure it out

sa pagtatangkang maisakatuparan, masuri

-- years and years, oftentimes.

– magbibilang ng maraming taon, kadalasan.

So, when I look at creativity, I also think that it is this sense or this inability

Kaya't kapag tinitingnan ko ang pagkamalikhain, naiisip ko rin na ito ay ang di-kakayahang

to repress, my looking at associations in practically anything in life.

pigilin ko ang paghanap ko ng mga ugnayan sa halos kahit anong bagay sa buhay.

And I got a lot of them during what's been going on

At marami akong napulot sa mga nangyayari dito ngayon

throughout this conference,

sa buong konperensya,

almost everything that's been going on.

sa halos lahat ng nagaganap.

And so I'm going to use, as the metaphor, this association:

Kung kaya, gagamitin ko, bilang metapora, ang ugnayang ito:

quantum mechanics, which I really don't understand,

ang quantum mechanics, na hindi ko talagang naiintindihan,

but I'm still gonna use it as the process

pero gagamitin ko pa rin ito bilang isang paraan

for explaining how it is the metaphor.

para ipaliwanag kung bakit ito ang metapora.

So, in quantum mechanics, of course, you have dark energy and dark matter.

Sa quantum mechanics, gaya ng alam na natin, mayroon dark energy at dark matter.

And it's the same thing in looking at these questions of how things happen.

Katulad din ito ng pagtingin sa tanong kung bakit nangyayari ang mga pangyayari.

There's a lot of unknown, and you often don't know what it is except by its absence.

Maraming hindi alam, at madalas ay hindi mo alam kung ano ito liban na lang ang kawalan nito.

But when you make those associations,

Pero kapag binuo mo ang mga ugnayan,

you want them to come together in a kind of synergy in the story,

gusto mong magkatugma sila sa isang uri ng synergy sa kuwento,

and what you're finding is what matters. The meaning.

at ang nakikita mo ang may katuturan. Ang kahulugan.

And that's what I look for in my work, a personal meaning.

Ito ang hinahanap ko sa aking mga gawa, isang pansariling kahulugan.

There is also the uncertainty principle, which is part of quantum mechanics,

Nariyan din ang uncertainty principle, na bahagi ng quantum mechanics,

as I understand it. (Laughter)

sa pagkakaintindi ko. (Tawanan)

And this happens constantly in the writing.

At patuloy itong nangyayari sa pagsulat.

And there's the terrible and dreaded observer effect,

At nariyan ang terible at kinatatakutang observer effect,

in which you're looking for something, and

na kung ano'y sinusuri mo ang isang bagay, at

you know, things are happening simultaneously,

alam mo na, sabay-sabay na nangyayari ang mga bagay,

and you're looking at it in a different way,

at tinitingnan mo ito sa kakaibang paraan,

and you're trying to really look for the about-ness,

at talagang pinipilit mong makita ang ka-"tungkol"-an.

or what is this story about. And if you try too hard,

O kung tungkol saan ang kuwento. At kung sobra ang pagpipilit mo,

then you will only write the about.

masusulat mo lang ang tungkol.

You won't discover anything.

Hindi ka makakatuklas ng kahit ano.

And what you were supposed to find,

Ang dapat sanang matagpuan mo,

what you hoped to find in some serendipitous way,

ang inaasahan mong matagpuan, sa isang mala-suwerteng paraan,

is no longer there.

ay wala na doon.

Now, I don't want to ignore

Ngayon, hindi ko naman gustong hindi-pansinin

the other side of what happens in our universe,

ang kabila ng mga pangyayari sa ating universe.

like many of our scientists have.

tulad ng marami sa ating mga siyentipiko.

And so, I am going to just throw in string theory here,

Kung kaya't gusto ko rin isama rito ang string theory,

and just say that creative people are multidimensional,

at sabihin na lang na ang mga taong malikhain ay multi-dimensional,

and there are 11 levels, I think, of anxiety.

at mayroon labing-isang antas, sa isip ko, ng kagulumihaman.

(Laughter) And they all operate at the same time.

(Tawanan) At nangyayari sila nang sabay-saby.

There is also a big question of ambiguity.

Nariyan din ang malaking tanong tungkol sa alinlangan [ambiguity].

And I would link that to something called the cosmological constant.

At iuugnay ko ito sa tinatawag na cosmological constant.

And you don't know what is operating, but something is operating there.

Hindi mo alam kung ano ang nangyayari doon, pero may nangyayari doon.

And ambiguity, to me, is very uncomfortable

At ang alinlangan, para sa akin, ay napaka-di-komportable

in my life, and I have it. Moral ambiguity.

sa aking buhay, at taglay ko ito. Alinlangang moralidad.

It is constantly there. And, just as an example,

Laging naroroon ito. At isang halimbawa na lang,

this is one that recently came to me.

isa itong kailan lang ay dumating sa akin.

It was something I read in an editorial by a woman

Isang bagay ito na nabasa ko na editoryal ng isang babae

who was talking about the war in Iraq. And she said,

tungkol sa giyera sa Iraq. Sinabi niya,

"Save a man from drowning, you are responsible to him for life."

"Iligtas mo ang isang tao sa pagkalunod, mananagot ka sa kanya sa buong buhay."

A very famous Chinese saying, she said.

Isang tanyag na kasabihan sa Tsino, sabi niya.

And that means because we went into Iraq, we should stay there

At ang ibig sabihin nito dahil sa nagpunta tayo sa Iraq, dapat tayong manatili doon

until things were solved. You know, maybe even 100 years.

hanggang sa malutas ang mga bagay-bagay. Alam mo na, kahit baka mga 100ng taon.

So, there was another one that I came across,

Meron pang isang nadaanan ko

and it's "saving fish from drowning."

at ito ang "iligtas ang mga isda sa pagkalunod."

And it's what Buddhist fishermen say,

Ito ang sinasabi ng mga mangingisdang Buddhist,

because they're not supposed to kill anything.

dahil sa hindi sila dapat pumatay ng kahit ano.

And they also have to make a living, and people need to be fed.

Kailangan din nilang mabuhay, at ang mga tao ay kailangang kumain.

So their way of rationalizing that is they are saving the fish from drowning,

Kung kaya ang pangngangatwiran nila ay iligtas ang mga isda sa pagkalunod.

and unfortunately, in the process the fish die.

at sa kasawiang-palad, habang inililigtas sa pagkalunod, namamatay ang mga isda.

Now, what's encapsulated in both these drowning metaphors

Ngayon ano ang nakatiim sa dalawang talinghaga sa pagkalunod

-- actually, one of them is my mother's interpretation,

– ang totoo, isa sa kanila ay interpretasyon ng aking ina,

and it is a famous Chinese saying, because she said it to me:

at isang tanyag na kasabihan ito sa Tsino dahil sa sinabi niya ito sa akin:

"save a man from drowning, you are responsible to him for life."

"Iligtas mo ang isang tao sa pagkalunod, mananagot ka sa kanya sa buong buhay."

And it was a warning -- don't get involved in other people's business,

At ito ay isang babala – huwag kang makisangkot sa buhay ng iba,

or you're going to get stuck.

o baka ka lang maipit.

OK. I think if somebody really was drowning, she'd save them.

OK. Kung talagang may nalulunod, ililigtas niya siya.

But, both of these sayings -- saving a fish from drowning,

Pero ang mga kasabihang ito, iligtas ang isda sa pagkalunod,

or saving a man from drowning -- to me they had to do with intentions.

o iligtas ang isang tao sa pagkalunod, sa akin ay may kinalaman sila sa intensyon.

And all of us in life, when we see a situation, we have a response.

At lahat ng tao, kapag nakakita tayo ng isang sitwasyon, mayoon tayong gagawin.

And then we have intentions.

At mayroon tayong mga intensyon.

There's an ambiguity of what that should be that we should do,

May alinlangan kung ano nga iyon na dapat nating gawin,

and then we do something.

at pagkatapos ay ginagawa nga natin ito.

And the results of that may not match what our intentions had been.

At ang resulta ay maaaring hindi tugma sa ating intensyon.

Maybe things go wrong. And so, after that, what are our responsibilities?

Siguro may masamang pangyayari. Kaya, pagkatapos noon, ano ang ating mga responsibilidad?

What are we supposed to do?

Ano ang dapat nating gawin?

Do we stay in for life,

Mananatili ba tayo habang buhay,

or do we do something else and justify and say, well, my intentions were good,

o babaling tayo sa ibang bagay at mangangatwiran at sasabihing mabuti ang ating intensyon,

and therefore I cannot be held responsible for all of it?

kaya hindi ako masasabing mananagot sa lahat?

That is the ambiguity in my life

Ito ang alinlangan sa aking buhay

that really disturbed me, and led me to write a book called

na gumulo sa aking isip, at siyang nagsulong sa akin na sulatin ang librong

"Saving Fish From Drowning."

"Saving Fish From Drowning."

I saw examples of that. Once I identified this question, it was all over the place.

Nakakita ako ng maraming halimbawa, nang luminaw sa aking isip ang tanong. Ang dami sa ating paligid.

I got these hints everywhere.

Nakakuha ako ng mga higing sa lahat ng bagay.

And then, in a way, I knew that they had always been there.

Kung sa bagay, alam ko na lagi silang naroroon.

And then writing, that's what happens. I get these hints, these clues,

At ang pagsulat, ito ang nangyayari. Nakakukuha ako ng mga higing, ng mga pahaging,

and I realize that they've been obvious, and yet they have not been.

at naliho ko na madali silang mapansin, pero hindi rin.

And what I need, in effect, is a focus.

At ang kailangan ko, sa katuusan, ay pokus.

And when I have the question, it is a focus.

At nang makuha ko ang tanong, ito ay pokus.

And all these things that seem to be flotsam and jetsam in life actually go through

At lahat ng mga bagay na ito na parang mga bagay na itinapong kuyagot sa buhay ay dumaraan

that question, and what happens is those particular things become relevant.

sa tanong na iyon, at ang nangyayari ay ang mga bagay na iyon ay may kaugnayan.

And it seems like it's happening all the time.

At parang laging nangyayari ito.

You think there's a sort of coincidence going on, a serendipity,

Iisipin mong nagkakataon lang, isang serendipity,

in which you're getting all this help from the universe.

na kung saa'y nakakakuha ka ng tulong mula sa sangkalawakan.

And it may also be explained that now you have a focus.

At maaari ring ipaliwanag ngayon at may pocus ka na.

And you are noticing it more often.

At napapansin mo ito lagi.

But you apply this.

Pero ginagawa mo ito.

You begin to look at things having to do with your tensions.

Nagsisimula kang tumingin sa mga bagay na may kaugnayan sa kabanatan "tension".

Your brother, who's fallen in trouble, do you take care of him?

Ang kapatid mo, na napasok sa gulo, aalaagan mo ba siya?

Why or why not?

Bakit o bakit hindi?

It may be something that is perhaps more serious

Maaaring ito ay isang bagay na totoong seryoso.

-- as I said, human rights in Burma.

– gaya ng sinabi ko, karapatan ng tao sa Burma.

I was thinking that I shouldn't go because somebody said, if I did, it would show

Iniisip ko na hindi ako dapat pumunta dahil sa may nagsabi na kung gagawin ko iyon, lilitaw na

that I approved of the military regime there.

pumapayag ako sa rehimong militar doon.

And then, after a while, I had to ask myself,

Di naglaon, tinanong ko ang aking sarili,

"Why do we take on knowledge, why do we take on assumptions

"Bakit natin tinatanggap ang kaalaman, bakit natin tinatanggap ang mga palagay

that other people have given us?"

na ibinibigay ng ibang tao sa atin?"

And it was the same thing that I felt when I was growing up,

Katulad din ito ng naramdaman ko nang lumalaki ako,

and was hearing these rules of moral conduct from my father,

nang naririnig ko ang mga tuntuning ng gawang moral mula sa aking ama,

who was a Baptist minister.

na isang ministrong Baptist.

So I decided that I would go to Burma for my own intentions,

Kaya ipinasiya kong pumunta sa Burma bilang sariling intensyon,

and still didn't know that if I went there,

at hindi ko pa rin alam na kung pumunta ako doon,

what the result of that would be, if I wrote a book --

ano ang resulta niyon kung susulat ako ng libro –

and I just would have to face that later, when the time came.

at saka ko na lang haharapin iyon, pagdating ng panahon.

We are all concerned with things that we see in the world that we are aware of.

Lahat tayo ay nag-aalaala sa mga bagay na nakikita natin sa mundo.

We come to this point and say, what do I as an individual do?

Dumarating tayo sa puntong ito at sasabihin, ano bilang isang indibidwal ang ginagawa ko?

Not all of us can go to Africa, or work at hospitals,

Hindi lahat sa atin ay makapupunta sa Africa, o magkapagtatrabaho sa mga ospital,

so what do we do, if we have this moral response, this feeling?

kaya ano ang gagawin natin kung mayroon tayong kasagutang moral, ang damdaming ito?

Also, I think one of the biggest things we are all looking at,

Isa pa, sa aking palagay isa sa malalaking bagay na tinitingnan natin,

and we talked about today, is genocide.

at pinag-usapan natin ngayon, ay genocide.

This leads to this question.

Na tumutungo sa tanong,

When I look at all these things that are morally ambiguous and uncomfortable,

kapag tintingnan ko ang mga bagay na ito na alinlangan ang moralidad at di-komportable,

and I consider what my intentions should be,

at iniisip ko ang dapat kong mga intensyon,

I realize it goes back to this identity question that I had when I was a child

naliliho ko na bumabalik sa tanong identidad noong bata pa ako

-- and why am I here, and what is the meaning of my life,

– at bakit ako naririto, at ano ang kahulugan ng aking buhay,

and what is my place in the universe?

at ano ang lugar ko sa sangkalawakan?

It seems so obvious, and yet it is not.

Parang lantad, pero hindi.

We all hate moral ambiguity in some sense,

Muhi tayo lahat sa alinlangang moralidad sa isang pag-iisip,

and yet it is also absolutely necessary.

pero kailangang-kailangan din ito.

In writing a story, it is the place where I begin.

Sa pagsulat ng isang kuwento, ito ang lugar na pinagsisimulan ko.

Sometimes I get help from the universe, it seems.

Kung minsan'y parang nakakakuha ako ng tulong mula sa sangkalawakan.

My mother would say it was the ghost of my grandmother from the very first book,

Sasabihin ng ina ko na ito ang multo ng aking lola mula pa sa kauna-unahang libro,

because it seemed I knew things I was not supposed to know.

dahil sa parang may mga alam ako na hindi ko dapat na alam.

Instead of writing that the grandmother died accidentally,

Sa halip na isulat na ang lola ko ay aksidenteng namatay,

from an overdose of opium, while having too much of a good time,

mula sa sobrang opium habang nagpapasasa sa magandang buhay,

I actually put down in the story that the woman killed herself,

isinulat ko sa kuwento na nagpakamatay siya,

and that actually was the way it happened.

at gayon nga ang tunay na nangyari.

And my mother decided that that information must have come from my grandmother.

Ipinasiya ng aking ina na ang impormasyon ay galing sa aking lola.

There are also things, quite uncanny,

May mga bagay pa, totoong di-kapani-paniwala,

which bring me information that will help me in the writing of the book.

na nagdadala ng impormasyon na tumutulong sa akin sa pagsulat ng libro.

In this case, I was writing a story

Sa halimbawang ito, sumusulat ako ng kuwento

that included some kind of detail, period of history, a certain location.

na may isang uri ng detalye, isang panahon sa kasaysayan, isang lokasyon.

And I needed to find something historically that would match that.

At kinailangan kong makakita ng isang makasaysayang katumbas.

And I took down this book, and I --

Kinuha ko ang isang libro, at ako'y –

first page that I flipped it to was exactly the setting, and the time period,

ang unang pahina na nabuksan ko ay siyang-siyang tagpo, at ang panahon.

and the kind of character I needed -- was the Taiping rebellion,

At ang tauhang kinakailangan ko ay ang himagsikang Taiping,

happening in the area near Guilin, outside of that,

na nangyari sa isang lugar na malapit sa Qualin, sa may labas nito,

and a character who thought he was the son of God.

at isang tauhan na nag-akalang siya'y anak ng Diyos.

You wonder, are these things random chance?

Maitatanong mo, nagkataon lang kaya ang mga pangyayaring ito?

Well, what is random? What is chance? What is luck?

E, ano ang ala-suwerte? Ano ang nagkataon? Ano ang suwerte?

What are things that you get from the universe that you can't really explain?

Anong mga bagay ang nakukuha mo sa sangkalawakan na hindi mo talagang maipapaliwanag?

And that goes into the story, too.

Kasama rin iyan sa kuwento.

These are the things I constantly think about from day to day.

May mga bagay na lagi kong iniisip araw-araw.

Especially when good things happen,

Lalo na kung may mga mabubuting bagay na nangyayari,

and, in particular, when bad things happen.

at lalung-lalo na kung may masasamang bagay na nangyayari.

But I do think there's a kind of serendipity,

Pero hindi ko iniisip na mayroong serendipity dito,

and I do want to know what those elements are,

at gusto ko talagang malaman kung ano ang mga elementong iyon,

so I can thank them, and also try to find them in my life.

para mapasalamatan ko sila, at isa pa'y mahanap ko sila sa aking buhay.

Because, again, I think that when I am aware of them, more of them happen.

Sapagka't, minsan pa, iniisip ko na kung damdam ko sila, lalo pang madalas mangyayari.

Another chance encounter is when I went to a place

Isa pang nagkataon pangyayari ay nang pumunta ako sa isang lugar

-- I just was with some friends, and we drove randomly to a different place,

– kasama ko lang ang ilang kaibigan, at nag-drive kami sa kung saan-saan at sa iba't ibang lugar,

and we ended up in this non-tourist location,

at humantong kami sa isang lugar na hindi pangturista,

a beautiful village, pristine.

isang magandang nayon, hindi pa nasasaling.

And we walked three valleys beyond,

At lumakad kami hanggang sa tatlong lambak [valley],

and the third valley, there was something quite mysterious and ominous,

at sa pangatlong lambak, mayroon parang mahiwaga at nagbabanta ng masama,

a discomfort I felt. And then I knew that had to be [the] setting of my book.

isang di-mabuting pakiramdan na nadama ko. At noon naisip ko na iyon ang kailangang tagpuan ng aking libro.

And in writing one of the scenes, it happened in that third valley.

At sa pagsulat ng isa sa mga senaryo, nangyari ito sa pangatlong lambak.

For some reason I wrote about cairns -- stacks of rocks -- that a man was building.

Sa kung anong dahilan sumulat ako ng tungkol sa mga palatandaan – isang tumpok ng mga bato – na itinatayo ng isang tao.

And I didn't know exactly why I had it, but it was so vivid.

At hindi ko alam kung ano talaga ang mayroon ako, pero napakalinaw sa isip ito.

I got stuck, and a friend, when she asked if I would go for a walk with her dogs,

Na-stuck ako, at isang kaibigan, nang tanungin niya kung gusto kong sumama habang ipinapasyal ang kanyang aso,

that I said, sure. And about 45 minutes later,

na sinabi ko, sige. Pagkalipas ng 45 minuto,

walking along the beach, I came across this.

habang naglalakad sa aplaya, may nakita ako.

And it was a man, a Chinese man,

Isang lalaki, isang lalaking Tsino,

and he was stacking these things, not with glue, not with anything.

at may pinagpapatong-patong siya, hindi ginagamitan ng pandikit, o ng ano pa man.

And I asked him, "How is it possible to do this?"

Itinanong ko sa kanya kung paano nagagawa ito?

And he said, "Well, I guess with everything in life, there's a place of balance."

At sinabi niya, ah, palagay ko, tulad ng lahat sa buhay, may lugar ng katimbangan.

And this was exactly the meaning of my story at that point.

At iyon ang kahulugan ng aking kuwento sa puntong iyon.

I had so many examples -- I have so many instances like this, when I'm writing a story,

Marami akong halimbawa – marami akong mga pagkakataong tulad nito kapag sumusulat ako ng kuwento,

and I cannot explain it.

na hindi ko maipapaliwanag.

Is it because I had the filter that I have such a strong coincidence

Dahil kaya sa mayroon akong salaan kung kaya't mayroon akong malakas na pagkakataunan [coincidence]

in writing about these things?

sa pagsulat ko tungkol sa mga ito?

Or is it a kind of serendipity that we cannot explain, like the cosmological constant?

O isang serendipity ito na hindi kayang ipaliwanag, tulad ng cosmological constant?

A big thing that I also think about is accidents.

Isa pa ring malaking bagay na naiisip ko ang tungkol sa mga aksidente.

And as I said, my mother did not believe in randomness.

Gaya ng nasabi ko, ang ina ko ay hindi naniniwala sa sapalaran.

What is the nature of accidents?

Ano ang kalikasan ng mga aksidente?

And how are we going to assign what the responsibility and the causes are,

Paano natin itatakda ang responsibilidad at ang mga dahilan,

outside of a court of law?

sa labas ng korte ng batas?

I was able to see that in a firsthand way,

Nasaksikan ko ito nang malapitan,

when I went to beautiful Dong village, in Guizhou, the poorest province of China.

nang pumasyal ako sa magandang pook na Dong, sa Guizhou, and pinakanaghihikahos na probinsya sa Tsina.

And I saw this beautiful place. I knew I wanted to come back.

At nakita ko itong magandang lugar na ito. Alam kong gusto kong bumalik.

And I had a chance to do that, when National Geographic asked me

Nagkaroon ako ng pagkakataon nang tinanong ng National Geographic

if I wanted to write anything about China.

kung gusto kong sumulat ng kahit ano tungkol sa Tsina.

And I said yes, about this village of singing people, singing minority.

Sabi ko oo, tungkol sa baryong ito ng Kumakantang mga tao, Kumakantang minoridad.

And they agreed, and between the time I saw this place and the next time I went,

Pumayag sila, at sa pagitan ng panahong una kong nakita ang lugar at ng sumunod na lakad ko doon,

there was a terrible accident. A man, an old man, fell asleep,

nagkaroon ng isang malagim na aksidente. Isang tao, isang matandang lalaki, ang nakatulog,

and his quilt dropped in a pan of fire that kept him warm.

at ang kanyang kumot ay bumagsak sa planggana ng apoy na nagpapainit sa kaniya.

60 homes were destroyed, and 40 were damaged.

60ng tahanan ang natupok, at 40 ang nasira.

Responsibility was assigned to the family.

Ang responsibilidad ay ibinigay sa pamilya.

The man's sons were banished to live three kilometers away, in a cowshed.

Pinalayas ang mga anak na lalaki para mamahay sa ilang kilometro ang layo, sa pahingahan ng mga baka.

And, of course, as Westerners, we say, "Well, it was an accident. That's not fair.

At syempre, bilang mga taga-Kanluran, sasabihin natin, "Aba, aksidente iyon. Hindi tama ito.

It's the son, not the father."

Anak ito, hindi ang ama."

When I go on a story, I have to let go of those kinds of beliefs.

At kapag nagkukuwento ako, kailagang pawalan ko ang mga gayong paniniwala.

It takes a while, but I have to let go of them and just go there, and be there.

Matagal-tagal din, pero kailangang pawalan ko at pumunta ako doon, at mamalagi doon.

And so I was there on three occasions, different seasons.

Naroon ako maka-itlo, iba-ibang panahon.

And I began to sense something different about the history,

Naramdaman ko na may kakaiba sa kasaysayan

and what had happened before, and the nature of life in a very poor village,

at sa nangyari bago pa, at ang uri ng pamumuhay sa isang mahirap na baryo,

and what you find as your joys, and your rituals, your traditions, your links

at ang natutuklasan mong mga galak, at ang mga nakagawian mo, ang mga tradisyon mo, ang mga relasyon mo

with other families. And I saw how this had a kind of justice, in its responsibility.

sa ibang angkan. At nakita ko kung paano ito ay may isang uri ng hustisya sa kanyang responsibilidad.

I was able to find out also about the ceremony that they were using,

Natuklasan ko rin ang seremonya na kanilang ginagamit,

a ceremony they hadn't used in about 29 years. And it was to send some men

isang seremonya na hindi ginamit sa loob ng 29 na taon. At ito ang magpadala ng ilang lalaki

-- a Feng Shui master sent men down to the underworld on ghost horses.

– isang guro sa Feng Shui ang magpapadala sa mga tao na nakasakay sa mga kabayong multo sa ilalim ng mundo.

Now you, as Westerners, and I, as Westerners,

Ngayon, kayo na Kanluranin, at ako, na Kanluranin,

would say well, that's superstition. But after being there for a while,

ay magsasabing ah, pamahiin lang iyon. Pero pagkatapos tumira doon nang matagal-tagal,

and seeing the amazing things that happened,

at pagkasaksi sa mga kagila-gilas na pangyayari,

you begin to wonder whose beliefs are those that are in operation in the world,

magsisimula kang mag-isip kung kaninong paniniwala ang siyang nagpapatakbo sa mundo,

determining how things happen.

na nagtatakda ng mga pangyayari.

So I remained with them, and the more I wrote that story,

Kaya't nanatili ako sa kanila, at habang sinusulat ko ang kwento,

the more I got into those beliefs, and I think that's important for me

lalo akong napapadiin sa paniniwala nila, at naiisip ko na mahalaga sa akin iyon

-- to take on the beliefs, because that is where the story is real,

– na tanggapin ang mga paniniwala, dahil sa naroon ang katalagahan ng kuwento,

and that is where I'm gonna find the answers

at doon ko makikita ang mga sagot

to how I feel about certain questions that I have in life.

tungkol sa nararamdaman ko tungkol sa ilang tanong sa aking buhay.

Years go by, of course, and the writing, it doesn't happen instantly,

Nagdaan ang mga taon, at siyempre, ang pagsulat, hindi ito nangyayari sa isang iglap,

as I'm trying to convey it to you here at TED.

na ipinatatalastas ko sa inyo dito sa TED.

The book comes and it goes. When it arrives, it is no longer my book.

Ang libro ay dumarating at umaalis. Pagdating nito, hindi ko na libro ito.

It is in the hands of readers, and they interpret it differently.

Nasa kamay na ng mga mambabasa, at bibigyan nila ito ng iba-ibang interpetasyon.

But I go back to this question of, how do I create something out of nothing?

Pero babalik ako sa tanong, paano ako lumilikha mula sa wala?

And how do I create my own life?

Paano ko nililikha ang sarili kong buhay?

And I think it is by questioning,

Naiisip ko na sa pagtatanong,

and saying to myself that there are no absolute truths.

at pagsasabi sa sarili na walang katotohanan na lubos.

I believe in specifics, the specifics of story,

Naniniwala ako sa mga partikular, ang mga partikular ng kuwento,

and the past, the specifics of that past,

at ang lumipas, ang mga partikular ng lumipas,

and what is happening in the story at that point.

at ang nangyayari sa kuwento sa puntong iyon.

I also believe that in thinking about things --

Naniniwala din ako na sa paglilimi tungkol sa mga bagay-bagay,

my thinking about luck, and fate, and coincidences and accidents,

sa pag-iisip ko tungkol sa suwerte, sa tadhana, sa nagkakataon at aksidente,

God's will, and the synchrony of mysterious forces --

kalooban ng Diyos, at ang pagkakaisa ng mga mahihiwagang puwersa,

I will come to some notion of what that is, how we create.

darating sa akin ang pagkaunawa kung ano iyan, kung paano tayo lumilikha.

I have to think of my role. Where I am in the universe,

Kailangang isipin ko ang aking ginagampanan. Kung nasaan ako sa sangkalawakan,

and did somebody intend for me to be that way, or is it just something I came up with?

at kung mayroon nag-intensyon na gayon ang kalagayan ko, o isang bagay ito na dala ko sa aking sarili?

And I also can find that by imagining fully, and becoming what is imagined --

At nakita ko rin ito sa pamamagitan ng ganap na imahinasyon, at ang pagiging ang bagay na nilikha ng isip,

and yet is in that real world, the fictional world.

na nasa tunay na mundo, ang mundo ng kathang-isip.

And that is how I find particles of truth, not the absolute truth, or the whole truth.

Ganito kung paano ako nakakakita ng mga mga butil ng katotohanan, hindi ang tiyak ng katotohanan, o ang buong katotohanan.

And they have to be in all possibilities,

Kailangan naroon sila sa lahat ng posibilidad,

including those I never considered before.

kasama na iyong mga hindi ko pa naiisip.

So, there are never complete answers.

Kaya't walang ganap na sagot.

Or rather, if there is an answer, it is to remind

O kaya naman, kung may sagot, ito ang paalalahanan

myself that there is uncertainty in everything,

ang sarili ko na may di-katiyakan ang lahat,

and that is good, because then I will discover something new.

na mabuti naman. Sapagka't noon makakatuklas ako ng bago.

And if there is a partial answer, a more complete answer from me,

At kung may sagot na di-lubos, isang may kalubusang sagot mula sa akin,

it is to simply imagine.

ang maggunam-gunam.

And to imagine is to put myself in that story,

At ang maggunam-gunam ay ilagay ang aking sarili sa kuwento,

until there was only -- there is a transparency between me and the story that I am creating.

hanggang sa matira na lang – walang balakid ang sinag sa pagitan ko at ang kuwentong nililikha.

And that's how I've discovered that if I feel what is in the story

Gayun ko natuklasan na kung nararamdaman ko ang nasa kuwento

-- in one story -- then I come the closest, I think,

– sa isang kuwento – saka ako lalong nalalapit, sa aking palagay,

to knowing what compassion is, to feeling that compassion.

na maunawaan kung ano ang pagkahabag [compassion], na madama ang kahabagan.

Because for everything,

Dahil sa ang lahat,

in that question of how things happen, it has to do with the feeling.

sa tanong na kung paano nangyayari ang lahat, natutungkol ito sa damdamin.

I have to become the story in order to understand a lot of that.

Kailangan ko ang maging ang kuwento para maunawaan ko ang marami sa mga iyan.

We've come to the end of the talk,

Nakarating na tayo sa katapusan ng panayam,

and I will reveal what is in the bag, and it is the muse,

at ibubunya ko ang nasa bag, at ito ang musa ["muse"],

and it is the things that transform in our lives,

at ito ang mga bagay na nagbabago ng anyo ng ating buhay,

that are wonderful and stay with us.

na kamangha-mangha at nananatili sa atin.

There she is.

Hayon siya.

Thank you very much!

Maraming salamat!

(Applause)

(Palakpakan)