Why we love, why we cheat | Helen Fisher

譯者: Lauren Huang 審譯者: Alex M. Chang

I'd like to talk today about the two biggest social trends

今天要談的是兩大社會趨勢，在未來的一百年，

in the coming century,

and perhaps in the next 10,000 years.

甚至是未來的一萬年。

But I want to start with my work on romantic love,

但我想從我對愛情的研究工作開始談起，

because that's my most recent work.

因為那是我最近的研究結果。

What I and my colleagues did was put 32 people, who were madly in love,

我和同事們把32位瘋狂陷入愛河的人們

into a functional MRI brain scanner.

放在MRI機器台上做了腦部掃描。

17 who were madly in love and their love was accepted;

其中17位愛的瘋狂，愛有得到回應，

and 15 who were madly in love and they had just been dumped.

另15位愛得入骨，但被甩了。

所以我們先談談那個，

And so I want to tell you about that first,

and then go on into where I think love is going.

然後再說未來愛的趨勢如何。

(Laughter)

"What 'tis to love?" Shakespeare said.

「情為何物?」莎士比亞曾經問道。

I think our ancestors --

我想,我們人類的祖先從很久以前就開始思索這個問題，

I think human beings have been wondering about this question

他們在夜空下圍著營火，躺下仰望繁星，百萬年前就開始沉思這個問題。

since they sat around their campfires

or lay and watched the stars a million years ago.

I started out by trying to figure out what romantic love was

我的工作由研究愛情的本質為何開始，

by looking at the last 45 years of the psychological research

我是從過去45年來的研究文獻著手--心理學範圍，

and as it turns out,

結果發現，特定的一些事情會集中發生在愛意萌生時。

there's a very specific group of things that happen when you fall in love.

The first thing that happens is,

第一件事，墜入愛河的人，

a person begins to take on what I call, "special meaning."

所有事物對他而言都有了「特殊意義」

As a truck driver once said to me,

一位卡車司機跟我說，

"The world had a new center, and that center was Mary Anne."

他說：「這世界有了一個新的中心,我的瑪莉安,就是一切的中心。」

George Bernard Shaw said it differently.

蕭伯納說的差不多，

"Love consists of overestimating the differences

他說：「愛的成分不過就是,在兩個女人中過度高估了其中一位」

between one woman and another."

確實如此，一點也沒錯。

And indeed, that's what we do.

(Laughter)

And then you just focus on this person.

然後你就這樣專心一意在一個人身上，

You can list what you don't like about them,

你可以列出你不喜歡他們的那些事情，

but then you sweep that aside and focus on what you do.

但你會把不喜歡清單扔到腦後，單只看喜歡的部份。

As Chaucer said, "Love is blind."

喬叟說過：「愛是盲目的」

In trying to understand romantic love,

當我嘗試著要釐清浪漫愛情，

I decided I would read poetry from all over the world,

我想就先從拜讀全世界的情詩開始吧。

and I just want to give you one very short poem

我介紹一首中國第八世紀的短詩，

from eighth-century China,

because it's an almost perfect example

因為它正是表達了男人對某位特定女人如何癡迷的完美案例。

of a man who is focused totally on a particular woman.

It's a little bit like when you are madly in love with somebody

它形容十分貼切-當你瘋狂的愛上某人的時候，

and you walk into a parking lot --

當你走入停車場，

their car is different from every other car in the parking lot.

就連你愛的對象的車，都和別的車子長得不一樣，

Their wine glass at dinner

晚宴上他們所持的酒杯，也和別的玻璃杯都不一樣。

is different from every other wine glass at the dinner party.

And in this case, a man got hooked on a bamboo sleeping mat.

這位男子藉一張竹席而大發相思之情 (註:「鶯鶯傳」中的張生)

And it goes like this.

詩中這麼說，這是元稹的作品：

It's by a guy called Yuan Zhen.

「竹簟襯重茵，未忍都令捲。

"I cannot bear to put away the bamboo sleeping mat.

The night I brought you home, I watched you roll it out."

憶昨初來日，看君自施展。」

He became hooked on a sleeping mat,

睹物思人，對一張竹蓆難以忘情，

probably because of elevated activity of dopamine in his brain,

原因可能是大腦釋放旺盛的多巴胺，

just like with you and me.

就像你我的大腦也是如此運作。

But anyway, not only does this person take on special meaning,

但不只是特殊意義的產生而已，

you focus your attention on them.

你的注意力集中在他們身上，

You aggrandize them.

你還會誇張擴大你的對象，並且你精力無限，

But you have intense energy.

As one Polynesian said, "I felt like jumping in the sky."

就像一個玻里尼亞人曾說：「我想要一躍騰空。」

You're up all night. You're walking till dawn.

你可以整夜無眠，漫步到天明。

You feel intense elation when things are going well;

一切順利如意時，你會比平常還要開心，

mood swings into horrible despair when things are going poorly.

進展不順，心情盪到谷底，

你的情緒完完全全隨之起伏。

Real dependence on this person.

As one businessman in New York said to me,

就像一位紐約商人所說：「只要是她喜歡的東西，我都喜歡。」

"Anything she liked, I liked."

Simple. Romantic love is very simple.

很簡單，愛情就是這麼簡單。

You become extremely sexually possessive.

你在性方面極端地具有獨佔慾。

You know, if you're just sleeping with somebody casually,

如果你跟某人只是床伴，

you don't really care if they're sleeping with somebody else.

他們和別人睡的時候你不會介意。

But the moment you fall in love,

但一旦你愛上對方，

you become extremely sexually possessive of them.

你對他們的性佔有慾會極端強烈。

I think there's a Darwinian purpose to this.

我想這在人類物種的演化上中是有其目的，

The whole point of this is to pull two people together

目的就是要把兩個人拉近，連在一起，

strongly enough to begin to rear babies as a team.

非常強的拉近力，好讓他們可以組成兩人團隊養育嬰孩長大。

But the main characteristics of romantic love are craving:

但浪漫愛情的主要特徵是渴求，

an intense craving to be with a particular person,

強烈的想要和某一特定對象長相左右的渴求，不只是性，更是於情感上的需求。

not just sexually, but emotionally.

It would be nice to go to bed with them,

你會很想要的是—和他們上床當然甚好，

but you want them to call you on the telephone, to invite you out, etc.,

但你更想要的是他們打電話給你，約你出去之類的。

to tell you that they love you.

你想聽見他們說我愛你。

The other main characteristic is motivation.

情的另一個特徵是原動力，

The motor in the brain begins to crank, and you want this person.

就像腦中有一台發電機開始運轉，讓你很想要這個人。

And last but not least, it is an obsession.

最後但很重要的，愛情還是一種癡迷。

Before I put these people in the MRI machine,

當我把這些人放在MRI掃描機台上之前，

I would ask them all kinds of questions.

我問他們各式各樣的問題，

But my most important question was always the same.

但我最重要的問題總是同一個，

It was: "What percentage of the day and night do you think about this person?"

那就是：「你有多少時候，白天或晚上，會想到這個人呢？」

他們總是回答：「整日、整夜，我無法停止想念他/她。」

And indeed, they would say,

"All day. All night.

I can never stop thinking about him or her."

And then, the very last question --

然後,最後我會問他們的問題是 —

I would always have to work myself up to this question,

我總是必須花一番功夫才能問這個問題，

because I'm not a psychologist.

因為我不是心理醫師，

I don't work with people in any kind of traumatic situation.

我並不處理什麼心理創傷經驗，

My final question was always the same.

但是我最後一個問題總是一樣，

I would say, "Would you die for him or her?"

我會問：「你是否願意為他/她而死?」

And, indeed, these people would say "Yes!"

這些人總是回答說：「會呀！」

as if I had asked them to pass the salt.

就像我問他能不能遞一下鹽罐子的輕鬆平常，

I was just staggered by it.

這讓我覺得十分驚訝。

So we scanned their brains,

進行大腦掃描時，我們給實驗者看一張愛人的照片，另外一張是尋常普通的相片，

looking at a photograph of their sweetheart

and looking at a neutral photograph,

看這些照片之間，會有一個轉移注意力用的小活動，

with a distraction task in between.

我們可以觀察大腦在高度運作時

So we could look at the same brain when it was in that heightened state

and when it was in a resting state.

以及在休息狀態的一些狀況。

And we found activity in a lot of brain regions.

我們發現一些特殊活動在腦中許多不同部位發生，

事實上最重要的活動是發生在

In fact, one of the most important was a brain region

that becomes active when you feel the rush of cocaine.

一塊當人吸食古柯鹼而有快感時活躍的部位。

And indeed, that's exactly what happens.

事實上，實況就是如此。

I began to realize that romantic love is not an emotion.

我開始了解到浪漫愛情不是一種情緒。

過去我一直認為它是一系列的情緒，

In fact, I had always thought it was a series of emotions,

從高昂到低迷。

from very high to very low.

But actually, it's a drive.

但事實上，它是一種驅動力，直接從精神上發動出來的力量，

It comes from the motor of the mind,

the wanting part of the mind, the craving part of the mind.

精神上想望和渴求的部分。

The kind of part of the mind

它像是

when you're reaching for that piece of chocolate,

你要吃那塊巧克力的想要，

when you want to win that promotion at work.

你在工作上想得到升遷的想要，

The motor of the brain.

是大腦的驅動組，它是驅動的力量。

It's a drive.

And in fact, I think it's more powerful than the sex drive.

事實上，我認為它比性慾的驅動力更強。

當你問某人要不要和你上床，他們說「不要」

You know, if you ask somebody to go to bed with you,

and they say, "No, thank you,"

顯然你不會因此而自殺或陷入憂鬱症，

you certainly don't kill yourself or slip into a clinical depression.

But certainly, around the world,

但是全世界都有人，因為在愛中被拒絕，而殺戮。

people who are rejected in love will kill for it.

People live for love.

人們為愛而生，為愛而殺，為愛而死。

They kill for love.

They die for love.

They have songs, poems, novels,

人為愛譜曲、賦詩、寫小說、刻雕像、繪畫、流傳了迷思和神話，

sculptures, paintings, myths, legends.

In over 175 societies,

世上超過175個社會，人們以此留下了這強大腦系統運作的證據。

people have left their evidence of this powerful brain system.

I have come to think

我認為這是地球上最強的一種力量，

it's one of the most powerful brain systems on Earth

for both great joy and great sorrow.

它能帶來狂悲，也能帶來狂喜。

And I've also come to think

這讓我想到，愛情是三者其中之ㄧ，

that it's one of three basically different brain systems

大腦為了適應求偶和繁殖，在演化過程中發展出三個不同的腦系統。

that evolved from mating and reproduction.

One is the sex drive: the craving for sexual gratification.

第一是性慾驅動：追求性滿足，

W.H. Auden called it an "intolerable neural itch,"

詩人奧登稱之為「難忍之癢」，

and indeed, that's what it is.

真的，很貼切，

它一直不斷的騷擾你，就像饑餓感。

It keeps bothering you a little bit, like being hungry.

The second of these three brain systems is romantic love:

第二個腦系統是浪漫愛情，

that elation, obsession of early love.

那種在愛情一開始，得意、熱烈、呈癡迷狀態的浪漫。

And the third brain system is attachment:

大腦中第三個系統是依存感，

that sense of calm and security you can feel for a long-term partner.

是相伴已久的伴侶能帶給你的那種平穩、安全感。

And I think that the sex drive evolved to get you out there,

我認為性慾是驅動你出來，

looking for a whole range of partners.

尋找各式各樣可能的對象。

You can feel it when you're just driving along in your car.

就像，當你獨自一人在開車的時候，

It can be focused on nobody.

無意中你會注意到某個陌生人。

I think romantic love evolved to enable you to focus your mating energy

浪漫愛情的演化是為了要讓你在擇偶所花的精力上能產生焦點，

on just one individual at a time,

一次只專注在一個人上面，

thereby conserving mating time and energy.

這樣做可以節省擇偶的時間和精力。

And I think that attachment, the third brain system,

至於大腦中第三種系統：依存感，

evolved to enable you to tolerate this human being

它的演化產生是為了，讓你對某一個人類有大一點的寬容，(笑聲)

at least long enough to raise a child together as a team.

至少寬容的時間夠讓你們能合力把孩子撫養長大。

So with that preamble,

有了這樣的前題，我要繼續談到兩大社會趨勢，

I want to go into discussing the two most profound social trends.

One of the last 10,000 years

第一個趨勢存在已一萬年，第二個則是出現於過去這25年—

and the other, certainly of the last 25 years,

that are going to have an impact on these three different brain systems:

兩者將對於這三個大腦系統帶來巨大的衝擊。

lust, romantic love and deep attachment to a partner.

這三個系統：性慾、浪漫愛情、和深切的依附感。

The first is women working, moving into the workforce.

第一是職業婦女，進入職場，

我看過了150 —130個社會，透過聯合國所公告的人口數字年鑑，

I've looked at 130 societies

through the demographic yearbooks of the United Nations.

Everywhere in the world, 129 out of 130 of them,

在世界上每個角落，130當中的129個，女性不只是進入工作市場，

women are not only moving into the job market --

sometimes very, very slowly, but they are moving into the job market --

有時候非常非常緩慢，但她們的確正在逐步進入職場，

and they are very slowly closing that gap between men and women

而且正慢慢地在經濟影響力，健康和教育程度上

in terms of economic power, health and education.

追上男女之間的落差。

It's very slow.

速度很慢，

For every trend on this planet, there's a counter-trend.

地球上每出現一個潮流，也會有個反潮流。

We all know of them, but nevertheless --

我們都知道這是必然的，儘管如此，有句古老的阿拉伯俗語：

the Arabs say, "The dogs may bark, but the caravan moves on."

「狗就算吠，篷車照開。」

And, indeed, that caravan is moving on.

確實，篷車是繼續前行的。

Women are moving back into the job market.

女性又再回到了工作職場中，

And I say back into the job market, because this is not new.

而我說「再」回到了工作職場，因為這不是新鮮事。

For millions of years, on the grasslands of Africa,

遠古世界曾經有百萬年，在非洲大草原上，

女人以外出採集蔬果為她們的工作，

women commuted to work to gather their vegetables.

They came home with 60 to 80 percent of the evening meal.

帶回家供應晚餐的食物份量達60%到80%，

The double income family was the standard.

雙薪家庭對他們而言是常態。

And women were regarded as just as economically,

女人在經濟、社會地位、性的方面和男人是平起平坐的。

socially and sexually powerful as men.

In short, we're really moving forward to the past.

簡言之，我們去向的前方其實是回到了古早以往。

Then, women's worst invention was the plow.

之後，女人最不妙的發明就是「犁」。

With the beginning of plow agriculture, men's roles became extremely powerful.

有了犁田的農業，男人變重要了，

Women lost their ancient jobs as collectors,

女人則失去了他們古老的採集者的工作。

但藉由工業革命和後工業革命，

but then with the industrial revolution and the post-industrial revolution

they're moving back into the job market.

女性又再度回到了就業市場。

In short, they are acquiring the status that they had a million years ago,

簡言之，她們取得的是一百萬年前、一萬年前、

10,000 years ago, 100,000 years ago.

或十萬年前，就已經存在的社會地位。

We are seeing now one of the most remarkable traditions

我們現在正目擊人類歷史上最鮮明的傳統特質重現，

in the history of the human animal.

它會帶來一些衝擊，

And it's going to have an impact.

I generally give a whole lecture

關於女性在商業社群中帶來的衝擊效應，就又是另一篇演講了，

on the impact of women on the business community.

I'll say just a couple of things, and then go on to sex and love.

我在此只略提一二。然後我要講的是性和愛，

There's a lot of gender differences;

兩性間有很大的差異，

anybody who thinks men and women are alike

那些說男人和女人沒有差別的人，恐怕是自己未曾養育過一男和一女。

simply never had a boy and a girl child.

I don't know why they want to think that men and women are alike.

我不明白他們為何說男女沒什麼不同，

There's much we have in common,

我們確實有許多共通點，但也有許多

but there's a whole lot that we do not have in common.

非共通點。

We are -- in the words of Ted Hughes,

套一句詩人休斯說的，

"I think that we are like two feet. We need each other to get ahead."

「人類生而有雙腳，雙腳彼此合作才能邁步向前 — 人類兩性也一樣，彼此需要。」

But we did not evolve to have the same brain.

但在演化的過程中我們有了不一樣的大腦，

And we're finding more and more gender differences in the brain.

許多的不同存在於兩性之間，就大腦而言。

I'll only just use a couple and then move on to sex and love.

我舉其中一二為例，然後接著再講性與愛。

One of them is women's verbal ability.

其中之ㄧ是女性的語言能力，女人比較會說話，

Women can talk.

Women's ability to find the right word rapidly, basic articulation

女性能比較快找到正確的措辭，基本修辭能力，

goes up in the middle of the menstrual cycle,

在生理週期正中央時達到巔峰，此時雌激素最旺盛，

when estrogen levels peak.

But even at menstruation, they're better than the average man.

但即使在行經期間，她的口語表達能力也比一般男人較好，

Women can talk.

女人就是會說話。

They've been doing it for a million years; words were women's tools.

百萬年以來都如此進行，女人的工具就是言語文字。

They held that baby in front of their face,

她們端詳雙臂中懷抱的嬰兒，

cajoling it, reprimanding it, educating it with words.

逗弄、輕聲責罵、用言語教育孩子們，

And, indeed, they're becoming a very powerful force.

而的確，女性們正形成一股強有力的勢力，

Even in places like India and Japan,

甚至是在印度以及日本這些地方，

where women are not moving rapidly into the regular job market,

女性或許沒有很快速的進入一般職場，

they're moving into journalism.

但她們進入了專業新聞領域，

And I think that the television is like the global campfire.

我認為電視像是全球以之為中心的一團營火，

We sit around it and it shapes our minds.

我們都環繞電視而坐，讓心智接收電視的教化。

Almost always, when I'm on TV, the producer who calls me,

每次當我上電視，前來和我溝通

who negotiates what we're going to say,

待會要說什麼內容的製作人幾乎全是女性。

is a woman.

In fact, Solzhenitsyn once said,

索忍尼辛曾說：

「好作家的功用，等同於另一個政府。」

"To have a great writer is to have another government."

Today 54 percent of people who are writers in America are women.

今天有54%的美國作家是女性，

語言能力只是女性帶進工作職場

It's one of many, many characteristics that women have

that they will bring into the job market.

的許許多多專有特色之一。

They've got incredible people skills, negotiating skills.

女性還有絕佳人際溝通技巧、協商技巧

They're highly imaginative.

以及高度想像力。

We now know the brain circuitry of imagination, of long-term planning.

如今我們明白大腦中有想像力的線路，有長期規劃的線路。

They tend to be web thinkers.

女性是網路型思考者，

Because the female parts of the brain are better connected,

因為女性大腦的連結程度比較好，

they tend to collect more pieces of data when they think,

思考時會收集較多的資訊，

put them into more complex patterns, see more options and outcomes.

也將資訊放進較複雜的架構中，因此看出更多的選項和後果。

They tend to be contextual, holistic thinkers,

她們是比較完整、能觀前顧後的思考者，我稱之為網路型思考者。

what I call web thinkers.

Men tend to -- and these are averages --

男性則是 — 一般而言 — 捨棄他們認為多餘的，

tend to get rid of what they regard as extraneous,

focus on what they do,

只看他們要做的，採取一種規律步驟型的思考方式。

and move in a more step-by-step thinking pattern.

They're both perfectly good ways of thinking.

兩種思考方式都很好，

We need both of them to get ahead.

人類同時需要這兩種思考方式才能邁步向前。

In fact, there's many more male geniuses in the world.

事實上，世界上男性天才是比較多的，

And there's also many more male idiots in the world.

但是男性的笨蛋也比較多。(笑聲)

(Laughter)

When the male brain works well, it works extremely well.

當男性的大腦運作良好的時候，呈現的結果非常好。

And what I really think that we're doing is,

我認為，我們正朝向一個協同共工的社會演進，

we're moving towards a collaborative society,

a society in which the talents of both men and women

在這社會中男性和女性的天賦都獲得彼此了解、

are becoming understood and valued and employed.

珍惜和發揮。

But in fact, women moving into the job market

事實上女性進入職場帶來的一個極大衝擊

is having a huge impact on sex and romance and family life.

是在性、浪漫愛情及家庭生活方面。

Foremost, women are starting to express their sexuality.

最重要的是，女性的性自主開始覺醒。

I'm always astonished when people come to me and say,

我總是覺得驚訝當有人問我：

"Why is it that men are so adulterous?"

「為什麼男人都那麼愛出軌?」

"Why do you think more men are adulterous than women?"

而我總說：「你憑什麼覺得是男性比較愛出軌呢?」

"Well, men are more adulterous!"

「嗯，出軌的男性比較多啊!」

我說：「那你認為這些出軌男人都是和誰上床了?」

And I say, "Who do you think these men are sleeping with?"

這是 — 基本算術！ (笑聲)

(Laughter)

And -- basic math!

Anyway.

無論如何，

In the Western world,

在西方世界，女孩們，嗯，

women start sooner at sex, have more partners,

女性較早開始有性生活，也有較多的對象經驗，

express less remorse for the partners that they do,

分手時也較少悔恨自責。

marry later, have fewer children,

晚婚、生育子女較少，不眷戀不幸福的婚姻，並追求幸福的婚姻，

leave bad marriages in order to get good ones.

We are seeing the rise of female sexual expression.

我們正在見證女性的性自主意識抬頭，

And, indeed, once again we're moving forward to the kind of sexual expression

再一次說，其實今日性意識表達正在演進形成的型態，

that we probably saw on the grasslands of Africa a million years ago,

可能在百萬年以前的非洲草原上就已經存在。

because this is the kind of sexual expression that we see

因為今日現時我們所見的性表達

in hunting and gathering societies today.

即是我們在狩獵和採集型社會中所見的型態。

We're also returning to an ancient form of marriage equality.

我們也正在回溯到過去的古老平等婚姻型態。

They're now saying that the 21st century

他們說21世紀，

is going to be the century of what they call the "symmetrical marriage,"

將要成為所謂「對稱式婚姻」的一個世紀，

or the "pure marriage," or the "companionate marriage."

或者是「同儕式婚姻」、「伴侶型婚姻」。

This is a marriage between equals,

這是由平等伴侶組成的婚姻，

moving forward to a pattern

演進為一種和古老的人類精神能相互呼應的婚姻形式。

that is highly compatible with the ancient human spirit.

We're also seeing a rise of romantic love.

我們也看到浪漫愛情主張的抬頭，

91 percent of American women and 86 percent of American men

91%美國女性以及86%美國男性表示，

would not marry somebody who had every single quality

一個對象即便每一項條件和他們所開列的都符合，若不愛對方，

they were looking for in a partner,

if they were not in love with that person.

就不會跟對方結婚。

People around the world, in a study of 37 societies,

一個探究了37個社會的研究顯示，世界各地的人，

want to be in love with the person that they marry.

都希望與自己的配偶沉醉愛河。

Indeed, arranged marriages are on their way off this braid of human life.

媒妁之言的婚姻，現已逐漸式微了，

I even think that marriages might even become more stable

甚至未來的婚姻我認為有希望是更穩定的，

because of the second great world trend.

原因是這第二項偉大的趨勢。

The first one being women moving into the job market,

第一項剛講過的，是女性進入工作職場；

the second one being the aging world population.

第二項，是全球人口的老化趨勢。

They're now saying that in America,

美國現在有此一說，

that middle age should be regarded as up to age 85.

中年的分界應該拉長到85歲以前算中年，

Because in that highest age category of 76 to 85,

因為在76到85歲這個高齡範圍中，

as much as 40 percent of people have nothing really wrong with them.

將近有40%的人身體上是沒有太大的毛病的，

So we're seeing there's a real extension of middle age.

所以我們能看到中年的定義將會擴張。

For one of my books, I looked at divorce data in 58 societies.

當為我的一本書研究找資料時，我看了58個社會的離婚統計，

And as it turns out, the older you get, the less likely you are to divorce.

結果是年紀愈大，離婚可能性愈低。

So the divorce rate right now is stable in America,

美國離婚率現已趨於穩定，

and it's actually beginning to decline.

甚至開始降低，

It may decline some more.

有可能還會再降低更多。

我甚至認為由於威而鋼、雌激素療法、骨盆腔替換手術的普及，

I would even say that with Viagra,

estrogen replacement, hip replacements

and the incredibly interesting women

以及女人們鮮明有趣的個性

-- women have never been as interesting as they are now.

— 女性在歷史上未曾有過如此的一個時代，

Not at any time on this planet have women been so educated,

女性們未曾像今日這般，受良好教育、豐富內涵、能力強。

so interesting, so capable.

And so I honestly think that if there really was ever a time in human evolution

因此如果要我說,人類演化史上若是

when we have the opportunity to make good marriages, that time is now.

有哪個時機會創造出最好的婚姻，那就是，現在。

However, there's always kinds of complications in this.

但是，這其中還有些複雜化的因素，

These three brain systems -- lust, romantic love and attachment --

這三個大腦系統：性慾、浪漫愛情、長期依存感，

don't always go together.

它們並不總是一起配合作用的，

They can go together, by the way.

但它們確實是可以配合作用的。所以啦，

That's why casual sex isn't so casual.

這可以解釋為什麼很多一夜情都不是一夜就結束，

With orgasm you get a spike of dopamine.

因為高潮時體內多巴胺會大量產生，

Dopamine's associated with romantic love,

而多巴胺是與愛情浪漫感相關的激素，

and you can just fall in love with somebody

一不小心，你就這樣和一夜情的對象墜入情網了，

who you're just having casual sex with.

With orgasm, then you get a real rush of oxytocin and vasopressin --

在高潮來時，體內催產素和血管加壓素大量分泌，

those are associated with attachment.

這些激素讓人產生依賴及歸屬感，

This is why you can feel such a sense of cosmic union with somebody

這就是為什麼和某人會有天人合一的感覺，

after you've made love to them.

在你和對方做愛之後。

But these three brain systems: lust, romantic love and attachment,

這三個大腦系統：性慾、浪漫愛情和依附感，

aren't always connected to each other.

並不總是好好的彼此連結；

You can feel deep attachment to a long-term partner

你可能對長期伴侶感到深深的依附感，

while you feel intense romantic love for somebody else,

同時強烈的感受對另一個人的愛戀，

while you feel the sex drive for people unrelated to these other partners.

然後還對這兩人以外的其他人感到性衝動。

In short, we're capable of loving more than one person at a time.

簡言之，我們可以同時愛上好幾個人，

In fact, you can lie in bed at night

事實上，當你夜晚躺在床上，

and swing from deep feelings of attachment for one person

你的心思可以從一個你深深依賴歸屬的對象，

to deep feelings of romantic love for somebody else.

飄盪到你瘋狂癡迷的的另一個人身上。

It's as if there's a committee meeting going on in your head

大腦裡頭好像有個會議正在進行，

as you are trying to decide what to do.

決定要怎麼辦。

So I don't think, honestly,

所以我不認為我們是一種為快樂而生的動物，

we're an animal that was built to be happy;

we are an animal that was built to reproduce.

我們是一種為繁衍後代而生的動物。

I think the happiness we find, we make.

我想我們尋找到的快樂，是我們自己創造的。

And I think, however,

而且我相信，我們有能力創造良好的伴侶關係。

we can make good relationships with each other.

So I want to conclude with two things.

所以我要用兩件事來做總結，

我要先提出一個擔憂，

I want to conclude with a worry,

一個擔憂，搭配一個有趣的故事，做為結束。

and with a wonderful story.

抗憂鬱症藥品，是我所憂心的事。

The worry is about antidepressants.

美國每年開出超過一億張以上抗憂鬱症藥處方籤，

Over 100 million prescriptions of antidepressants

are written every year in the United States.

And these drugs are going generic.

這些藥品變得垂手可得，

They are seeping around the world.

滲透到全世界。

I know one girl who's been on these antidepressants,

我認識一位女孩子接受抗憂鬱藥治療，血清素補充療法，

SSRIs, serotonin-enhancing antidepressants -- since she was 13.

從13歲開始接受SSRI，血清素補充抗憂鬱藥物治療。

She's 23. She's been on them ever since she was 13.

現在她23歲。她從13歲開始服用這些藥物。

I've got nothing against people who take them short term,

對於短期服用我沒有什麼意見，

when they're going through something horrible.

當人正經歷一些非常糟糕的時期時，

They want to commit suicide or kill somebody else.

甚至想要自殺或殺人的時候，

I would recommend it.

我建議他們吃藥。

But more and more people in the United States

但愈來愈多的美國人是長期服用，

are taking them long term.

實際上，這些藥物是用來提升血清素，

And indeed, what these drugs do is raise levels of serotonin.

And by raising levels of serotonin, you suppress the dopamine circuit.

血清素提高，就抑制了多巴胺的活動。

Everybody knows that.

很多人都知道，

Dopamine is associated with romantic love.

多巴胺和浪漫愛情是緊密相關的，

Not only do they suppress the dopamine circuit,

這些藥物不僅只是抑制了多巴胺，也滅除了性慾動力，

but they kill the sex drive.

And when you kill the sex drive, you kill orgasm.

沒有性慾動力，也就不會有性高潮，

And when you kill orgasm,

沒有性高潮，那隨之而來大量使人有依附感的的化學物質也隨之消失。

you kill that flood of drugs associated with attachment.

The things are connected in the brain.

這些物質運作在腦內是互相關聯的，

And when you tamper with one brain system,

當你破壞其中一種運作的機制，

you're going to tamper with another.

其他的也被連帶破壞了。

I'm just simply saying that a world without love is a deadly place.

我要說的就是，這世界若沒有了愛，將是一片死寂之地。

So now --

(Applause)

所以... (掌聲) 謝謝。

Thank you.

接下來我要講一個故事，然後，加一點小注釋。

I want to end with a story.

And then, just a comment.

I've been studying romantic love and sex and attachment for 30 years.

我研究浪漫愛情和性慾和依附感這主題有30年了，

我自己是同卵雙胞胎；我對人之間的相似性特別有興趣，

I'm an identical twin; I am interested in why we're all alike.

Why you and I are alike, why the Iraqis and the Japanese

為何你我相像，為何伊拉克人、日本人、

and the Australian Aborigines and the people of the Amazon River

澳洲原住民和亞馬遜河居民，我們全都很相像？

are all alike.

And about a year ago,

大約一年前，一家網路約會網站公司 Match.com 找到我，

an Internet dating service, Match.com, came to me

and asked me if I would design a new dating site for them.

問我能否為他們設計一個網路交友配對網站。

I said, "I don't know anything about personality. You know?

我說：「我對個性這回事一無所知，

I don't know. Do you think you've got the right person?"

我不確定，你們真的找對人了嗎?」

They said, "Yes."

他們肯定，「對的」

It got me thinking about why it is that you fall in love

這讓我深思，為什麼你愛了這個人不去愛那個人，

with one person rather than another.

That's my current project; it will be my next book.

這是我現在的研究計畫，會是我下一本書的內容。

There's all kinds of reasons

為什麼你愛了這人不去愛那個人，原因有許多，

that you fall in love with one person rather than another.

Timing is important. Proximity is important.

時機很重要、近水樓台很重要、

Mystery is important.

神秘感很重要，當你愛上某個有點神秘感的人，

You fall in love with somebody who's somewhat mysterious,

一部分原因是神秘感會刺激大腦產生更多多巴胺，

in part because mystery elevates dopamine in the brain,

probably pushes you over that threshold to fall in love.

可能就推動你跨過愛情萌芽的一個門檻。

You fall in love with somebody

你會愛上一個在你的「愛情圖譜」中條件符合的人，

who fits within what I call your "love map,"

an unconscious list of traits

這圖譜上放的條件是你從小到大無意識間慢慢建立起來的一張特徵清單。

that you build in childhood as you grow up.

And I also think that you gravitate to certain people,

並且我認為，你會受

特定的人所吸引，事實上，是因對方大腦系統正好和你是互補型的，

actually, with somewhat complementary brain systems.

And that's what I'm now contributing to this.

那就是我現在正在研究的方向。

But I want to tell you a story, to illustrate.

現在我要說一個故事，

I've been carrying on here about the biology of love.

目前為止，我一直講到愛的生物學，

I wanted to show you a little bit about the culture of it, too,

我也想表達一點「愛的文化學」—

the magic of it.

愛的神奇。

It's a story that was told to me

這是個我輾轉聽到的故事，

by somebody who had heard it just from one --

probably a true story.

可能是真人實事，

有一位研究生—我在Rutgers執教，而我兩位同事—

It was a graduate student -- I'm at Rutgers and my two colleagues --

Art Aron is at SUNY Stony Brook.

Art Aaron 是在 SUNY Stonybrook，

That's where we put our people in the MRI machine.

那是我們進行MRI掃描機台測驗的地方。

And this graduate student was madly in love with another graduate student,

這位研究生瘋狂的愛上另一位研究生，

and she was not in love with him.

但是她不愛他。

And they were all at a conference in Beijing.

有一次他們一起去北京參加會議，

這位研究生從我們所做的研究中知道，如果你和某人去玩些新奇的事物，

And he knew from our work

that if you go and do something very novel with somebody,

you can drive up the dopamine in the brain,

大腦中的多巴胺會增多，

and perhaps trigger this brain system for romantic love.

有機會觸動大腦點起浪漫愛情之火。

(Laughter)

所以他決定動手實作，

So he decided he'd put science to work.

邀請這位女孩和他來一趟黃包車之旅。

And he invited this girl to go off on a rickshaw ride with him.

And sure enough -- I've never been in one,

當然，我沒坐過黃包車，

but apparently they go all around the buses and the trucks

但顯然他們沿途要閃過許多巴士、卡車，

and it's crazy and it's noisy and it's exciting.

很驚險很吵很興奮。

He figured that this would drive up the dopamine,

他想這必定能讓多巴胺增多，

and she'd fall in love with him.

然後，她就會愛上他了。

So off they go and she's squealing and squeezing him

於是他們上了路，她時而尖叫，時而緊摟他，

笑聲不斷的共度非常好的一段時光。

and laughing and having a wonderful time.

An hour later they get down off of the rickshaw,

一小時候他們從黃包車上下來了，

and she throws her hands up and she says,

女孩子高舉雙手興奮的說，「搭黃包車真是好玩!」

"Wasn't that wonderful?"

And, "Wasn't that rickshaw driver handsome!"

「你看你看，那個拉黃包車的司機，真的是，多帥啊!」

(Laughter)

(笑聲)(掌聲)

(Applause)

There's magic to love!

愛的魔力！

(Applause)

But I will end by saying that millions of years ago,

百萬年前開始，我們演化了三種基本的需求動力，

we evolved three basic drives:

the sex drive, romantic love

性慾動力、浪漫愛情動力、以及和長期伴侶互相依存，

and attachment to a long-term partner.

這些迴路深植在人體大腦中，

These circuits are deeply embedded in the human brain.

They're going to survive as long as our species survives

人類存活多久，這些迴路也將存活多久，

on what Shakespeare called "this mortal coil."

存活在這莎士比亞說「終究將歸於死亡的皮囊」中。

Thank you.

謝謝大家。 (掌聲)

Chris Anderson: Helen Fisher!

(Applause)