Alec Soth + Stacey Baker: This is what enduring love looks like

82,787 views ・ 2015-07-15

TED


Please double-click on the English subtitles below to play the video.

Prevodilac: Milica Radenkovic Lektor: Tijana Mihajlović
00:13
Alec Soth: So about 10 years ago, I got a call from a woman in Texas,
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Alek Sot: I tako, pre deset godina, pozvala me je žena is Teksasa,
00:16
Stacey Baker,
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Stejsi Bejker,
00:18
and she'd seen some of my photographs in an art exhibition
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ona je videla neke od mojih fotografija na izložbi
00:22
and was wondering if she could commission me to take a portrait of her parents.
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i pitala je da li bi mogla da me unajmi da uradim portet njenih roditelja.
00:27
Now, at the time I hadn't met Stacey, and I thought this was some sort of
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Sad, u to vreme nisam bio sreo Stejsi i mislio sam da je
00:31
wealthy oil tycoon and I'd struck it rich,
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bogati naftaški tajkun i da ću se obogatiti preko noći,
00:35
but it was only later that I found out
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ali tek sam kasnije saznao
00:37
she'd actually taken out a loan to make this happen.
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da je ona zapravo uzela kredit da bi ovo ostvarila.
00:41
I took the picture of her parents,
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Fotografisao sam njene roditelje,
00:43
but I was actually more excited about photographing Stacey.
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ali sam zapravo bio više uzbuđen oko fotografisanja Stejsi.
00:47
The picture I made that day
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Slika koju sam napravio tog dana
00:48
ended up becoming one of my best-known portraits.
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postala je jedan od mojih najpoznatijih portreta.
00:53
At the time I made this picture, Stacey was working as an attorney
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U vreme kada sam napravio ovu sliku, Stejsi je radila kao advokat
00:57
for the State of Texas.
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za državu Teksas.
00:58
Not long after, she left her job to study photography in Maine,
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Ubrzo potom, napustila je svoj posao da bi studirala fotografiju u Mejnu
01:03
and while she was there, she ended up meeting
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i dok je bila tamo, upoznala je
01:05
the director of photography at the New York Times Magazine
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direktora fotografije časopisa „Njujork Tajms”
01:08
and was actually offered a job.
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i bio joj je ponuđen posao.
01:12
Stacey Baker: In the years since, Alec and I have done
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Stejsi Bejker: Tokom narednih godina, Alek i ja smo uradili
01:14
a number of magazine projects together,
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nekoliko projekata za časopise zajedno
01:17
and we've become friends.
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i postali smo prijatelji.
01:19
A few months ago, I started talking to Alec about a fascination of mine.
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Pre nekoliko meseci, počela sam da pričam Aleku o jednoj svojoj opsesiji.
01:23
I've always been obsessed with how couples meet.
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Uvek sam bila opsednuta time kako se parovi upoznaju.
01:27
I asked Alec how he and his wife Rachel met,
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Pitala sam Aleka kako su se on i njegova žena Rejčel upoznali
01:30
and he told me the story of a high school football game
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i on mi je ispričao priču o fudbalskoj utakmici u srednjoj školi
01:33
where she was 16 and he was 15,
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kada je ona imala 16, a on 15 godina
01:36
and he asked her out.
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i on ju je pitao da izađu.
01:38
He liked her purple hair.
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Svidela mu se njena ljubičasta kosa.
01:40
She said yes, and that was it.
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Ona je rekla „da„” i to je bilo to.
01:43
I then asked Alec if he'd be interested in doing a photography project
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Potom sam pitala Aleka da li bi radio fotografski projekat sa mnom
01:47
exploring this question.
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koji bi istraživao ovo pitanje.
01:49
AS: And I was interested in the question, but I was actually much more interested
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AS: I mene je zanimalo ovo pitanje, ali me je mnogo više zanimalo
01:53
in Stacey's motivation for asking it,
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zašto Stejsi to traži,
01:56
particularly since I'd never known Stacey to have a boyfriend.
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posebno zato što nikad pre toga nisam čuo da Stejsi ima dečka.
02:00
So as part of this project, I thought it'd be interesting
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Tako, kao deo ovog projekta, pomislio sam da će da bude zanimljivo
02:03
if she tried to meet someone.
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ako ona pokuša da upozna nekoga.
02:05
So my idea was to have Stacey here go speed dating
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Moja ideja bila je da Stejsi ide na brzo upoznavanje
02:10
in Las Vegas on Valentine's Day.
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u Las Vegasu na Dan zaljubljenih.
02:14
(Laughter) (Applause) (Music)
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(Smeh) (Aplauz) (Muzika)
SB: Završili smo na događaju koji je reklamiran
02:20
SB: We ended up at what was advertised as the world's largest speed dating event.
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kao najveće brzo upoznavanje na svetu.
02:25
I had 19 dates
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Imala sam 19 sastanaka
02:27
and each date lasted three minutes.
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i svaki sastanak je trajao tri minuta.
02:30
Participants were given a list of ice- breaker questions to get the ball rolling,
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Učesnicima je data lista pitanja za probijanje leda kako bi stvari krenule,
02:34
things like, "If you could be any kind of animal, what would you be?"
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tipa: „Kada biste mogli da budete bilo koja životinja, koja biste bili?”
02:38
That sort of thing.
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Takve stvari.
02:40
My first date was Colin.
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Moj prvi sastanak je bio sa Kolinom.
02:42
He's from England,
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On je iz Engleske
02:44
and he once married a woman he met after placing an ad for a Capricorn.
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i bio je oženjen ženom koju je upoznao nakon što je dao oglas za jarca.
02:49
Alec and I saw him at the end of the evening,
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Alek i ja smo ga videli na kraju večeri
02:52
and he said he'd kissed a woman in line at one of the concession stands.
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i ispričao je da je poljubio jednu ženu u redu ispred kioska za brzu hranu.
02:57
Zack and Chris came to the date-a-thon together.
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Zek i Kris su došli na sastanke zajedno.
03:02
This is Carl.
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Ovo je Karl.
03:05
I asked Carl, "What's the first thing you notice about a woman?"
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Pitala sam Karla: „Šta je prvo što primetiš na ženi?”
03:10
He said, "Tits."
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Rekao je: „Sise.”
03:12
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
03:17
Matthew is attracted to women with muscular calves.
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Metjua privlače žene sa mišićavim listovima.
03:20
We talked about running. He does triathlons, I run half-marathons.
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Pričali smo o trčanju.
On je triatlonac, ja trčim polumaraton.
03:24
Alec actually liked his eyes and asked if I was attracted to him, but I wasn't,
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Aleku su se zapravo svidele njegove oči i pitao je da li mi se sviđa, ali nije,
03:29
and I don't think he was attracted to me either.
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a mislim da ni ja njemu nisam bila privlačna.
03:33
Austin and Mike came together.
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Ostin i Majk su došli zajedno.
03:36
Mike asked me a hypothetical question.
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Majk mi je postavio hipotetičko pitanje.
03:39
He said, "You're in an elevator running late for a meeting.
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Rekao je: „U liftu si, kasniš na sastanak.
03:43
Someone makes a dash for the elevator.
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Neko trči ka liftu.
03:46
Do you hold it open for them?"
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Da li zadržavaš lift za njega?”,
03:49
And I said I would not.
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a ja sam rekla da ne bih to učinila.
03:51
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
03:55
Cliff said the first thing he notices about a woman is her teeth,
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Klif je rekao da je prva stvar koju primeti na ženi - njeni zubi
03:59
and we complimented each other's teeth.
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i pohvalio je moje zube, a ja njegove.
04:02
Because he's an open mouth sleeper,
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Zato što spava otvorenih usta,
04:05
he says he has to floss more to help prevent gum disease,
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kaže da čisti zube koncem češće da bi sprečio bolest desni,
04:09
and so I asked him how often he flosses,
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te sam ga pitala koliko često čisti zube koncem
04:11
and he said, "Every other day."
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i rekao je: „Svaki drugi dan.”
04:14
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
04:17
Now, as someone who flosses twice a day,
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Sad, kao neko ko koristi konac dva puta dnevno,
04:19
I wasn't really sure that that was flossing more
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nisam bila sigurna da je to često korišćenje konca,
04:22
but I don't think I said that out loud.
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ali mislim da to nisam rekla naglas.
04:24
Bill is an auditor,
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Bil je revizor
04:27
and we talked the entire three minutes about auditing. (Laughter)
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i pričali smo čitavih tri minuta o revizorstvu.
(Smeh)
04:34
The first thing Spencer notices about a woman is her complexion.
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Prva stvar koju Spenser primeti na ženi je njen ten.
04:38
He feels a lot of women wear too much makeup,
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On smatra da dosta žena nosi i suviše šminke
04:41
and that they should only wear enough to accentuate the features that they have.
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i da bi trebalo da nose samo toliko da istaknu kvalitete koje imaju.
04:45
I told him I didn't wear any makeup at all
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Rekla sam mu da ja uopšte ne nosim šminku
04:47
and he seemed to think that that was a good thing.
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i izgleda da je mislio da je to dobro.
04:51
Craig told me he didn't think I was willing to be vulnerable.
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Kreg mi je rekao da misli da nisam bila spremna da budem ranjiva.
04:55
He was also frustrated when I couldn't remember my most embarrassing moment.
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Takođe je bio iznerviran kada nisam mogla
da se setim kada sam se najviše izblamirala.
05:00
He thought I was lying, but I wasn't.
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Mislio je da lažem, ali nisam.
05:02
I didn't think he liked me at all, but at the end of the night,
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Mislila sam da mu se uopšte nisam svidela, ali na kraju večeri,
05:05
he came back to me and he gave me a box of chocolates.
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vratio se kod mene i dao mi kutiju čokolade.
05:09
William was really difficult to talk to.
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Sa Vilijamom je stvarno bilo teško razgovarati.
05:12
I think he was drunk.
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Mislim da je bio pijan.
05:14
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
05:17
Actor Chris McKenna was the MC of the event.
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Glumac Kris Mekena je bio domaćin događaja.
05:20
He used to be on "The Young and the Restless."
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Glumio je u „Mladi i nestašni”.
05:23
I didn't actually go on a date with him.
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Nisam zapravo otišla na sastanak sa njim.
05:26
Alec said he saw several women give their phone numbers to him.
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Alek kaže da je video nekoliko žena kako mu daju svoj broj telefona.
05:30
Needless to say, I didn't fall in love.
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Suvišno je reći, nisam se zaljubila.
05:35
I didn't feel a particular connection with any of the men that I went on dates with,
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Nisam osetila posebnu povezanost ni sa jednim od muškaraca
sa kojima sam bila na sastanku,
05:39
and I didn't feel like they felt a particular connection with me either.
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niti sam osetila da su oni osetili posebnu povezanost sa mnom.
05:45
AS: Now, the most beautiful thing to me --
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AS: Sad, najlepša stvar za mene -
05:48
(Laughter) -- as a photographer is the quality of vulnerability.
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(Smeh) - kao fotografa je ranjivost.
05:53
The physical exterior reveals a crack in which you can get a glimpse
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Fizički spoljašnji prostor otkriva pukotinu kroz koju možete zaviriti
05:57
at a more fragile interior.
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u osetljiviju unutrašnjost.
06:00
At this date-a-thon event, I saw so many examples of that,
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Na ovom događaju, video sam mnogo primera toga,
06:03
but as I watched Stacey's dates and talked to her about them,
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ali dok sam posmatrao Stejsine sastanke i razgovarao sa njom o njima,
06:08
I realized how different photographic love is from real love.
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shvatio sam koliko je različita ljubav na fotografiji od stvarne ljubavi.
06:14
What is real love? How does it work?
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Šta je prava ljubav? Kako funkcioniše?
06:18
In order to work on this question and to figure out how someone goes
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Kako bih odgovorio na ovo pitanje i shvatio kako neko pređe put
06:22
from meeting on a date to having a life together,
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od sastanka do zajedničkog života,
06:27
Stacey and I went to Sun City Summerlin,
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Stejsi i ja smo otišli u San Siti Samerlin
06:29
which is the largest retirement community in Las Vegas.
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koji je najveća zajednica penzionera u Las Vegasu.
06:35
Our contact there was George, who runs the community's photography club.
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Naš posrednik tamo je bio Džordž, koji vodi fotografski klub u zajednici.
06:39
He arranged for us to meet other couples in their makeshift photo studio.
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On je organizovao da upoznamo ostale parove u svom improvizovanom fotostudiju.
06:44
SB: After 45 years of marriage, Anastasia's husband died two years ago,
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SB: Nakon 45 godina braka, Anastasijin muž je umro pre dve godine,
06:49
so we asked if she had an old wedding picture.
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pa smo je pitali da li ima staru sliku sa venčanja.
06:52
She met her husband when she was a 15-year-old waitress
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Upoznala je svog muža kad je imala 15 godina i radila kao konobarica
06:56
at a small barbecue place in Michigan.
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u maloj roštiljnici u Mičingenu.
06:58
He was 30.
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On je imao 30 godina.
07:00
She'd lied about her age.
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Ona je lagala koliko ima godina.
07:02
He was the first person she'd dated.
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On je bio prva osoba sa kojom se zabavljala.
07:05
Dean had been named photographer of the year in Las Vegas two years in a row,
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Din je bio fotograf godine dve godine zaredom u Las Vegasu,
07:09
and this caught Alec's attention,
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što je privuklo pažnju Aleku,
07:11
as did the fact that he met his wife, Judy,
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kao i činjenica da je upoznao svoju ženu Džudi
07:14
at the same age when Alec met Rachel.
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kada je imao isto godina koliko i Alek kada je upoznao Rejčel.
07:17
Dean admitted that he likes to look at beautiful women,
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Din je priznao da voli da gleda lepe žene,
07:20
but he's never questioned his decision to marry Judy.
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ali nikada nije preispitivao svoju odluku da oženi Džudi.
07:24
AS: George met Josephine at a parish dance.
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AS: Džordž je upoznao Džozefin na igranci koju je organizovala parohija.
07:27
He was 18, she was 15.
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On je imao 18, a ona 15 godina.
07:29
Like a lot of the couples we met, they weren't especially philosophical
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Kao i dosta drugih parova koje smo upoznali,
oni nisu posebno filozofirali o svojim ranim izborima.
07:33
about their early choices.
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07:35
George said something that really stuck with me.
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Džordž je rekao nešto što mi se urezalo u pamćenje.
07:38
He said, "When you get that feeling, you just go with it."
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Rekao je: „Kada te strefi taj osećaj, samo ga pratiš.”
Bob i Trudi u se upoznali na sastanku na slepo
07:46
Bob and Trudy met on a blind date when she was still in high school.
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dok je ona još bila srednjoškolka.
07:49
They said they weren't particularly attracted to each other
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Ispričali su da nisu osetili posebnu privlačnost između sebe
07:52
when the first met.
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kada su se prvi put upoznali.
07:53
Nevertheless, they were married soon after.
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Ipak, venčali su se ubrzo potom.
07:57
SB: The story that stayed with me the most
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SB: Priča koja mi je bila najupečatljivija
07:59
was that of George, the photography club president, and his wife, Mary.
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bila je priča o Džordžu, predsedniku fotokluba,
i njegovoj ženi Meri.
08:04
This was George and Mary's second marriage.
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Ovo je bio drugi brak za oboje.
08:07
They met at a country-western club in Louisville, Kentucky called the Sahara.
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Upoznali su se u klubu u Luivilu, u Kentakiju, koji se zvao Sahara.
08:12
He was there alone drinking and she was with friends.
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On je bio tamo sam i pio, a ona je bila sa prijateljima.
08:16
When they started dating, he owed the IRS 9,000 dollars in taxes,
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Kada su počeli da se zabavljaju, on je dugovao 9 000 dolara poreza
08:21
and she offered to help him get out of debt,
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i ona se ponudila da mu pomogne da izađe iz dugova.
08:24
so for the next year, he turned his paychecks over to Mary,
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pa je tokom sledeće godine svoja primanja davao Meri,
08:28
and she got him out of debt.
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a ona ga je izvukla iz dugova.
08:30
George was actually an alcoholic when they married, and Mary knew it.
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Džordž je zapravo bio alkoholičar kada su se venčali i Meri je to znala.
08:35
At some point in their marriage, he says he consumed
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U jednom trenutku tokom braka, on kaže da je pio
08:38
54 beers in one day.
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54 piva dnevno.
08:41
Another time, when he was drunk, he threatened to kill Mary
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Jednom, kada je bio pijan, pretio je Meri da će ubiti nju
08:44
and her two kids,
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i njeno dvoje dece,
08:45
but they escaped and a SWAT team was called to the house.
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ali oni su pobegli, a žandarmerija je pozvana u kuću.
08:50
Amazingly, Mary took him back,
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Začuđujuće, Meri ga je primila nazad
08:52
and eventually things got better.
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i na kraju su se stvari popravile.
08:54
George has been involved in Alcoholics Anonymous
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Džordž je išao na sastanke Anonimnih alkoholičara
08:57
and hasn't had a drink in 36 years.
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i ne pije 36 godina.
09:00
(Music)
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(Muzika)
09:01
At the end of the day, after we left Sun City,
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Na kraju dana, kada smo napustili „Grad Sunca”,
09:04
I told Alec that I didn't actually think
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rekla sam Aleku da zapravo ne mislim
09:06
that the stories of how these couples met were all that interesting.
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da su priče ovih parova o tome kako su se upoznali zanimljive.
09:10
What was more interesting
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Ono što je bilo zanimljivije
09:12
was how they managed to stay together.
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je kako su uspeli da ostanu zajedno.
09:16
AS: They all had this beautiful quality of endurance,
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AS: Svi su posedovali divnu sposobnost izdržljivosti,
09:20
but that was true of the singles, too.
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ali poseduju je i samci, takođe.
09:23
The world is hard, and the singles were out there
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Svet je surov, i samci odlaze u svet
09:26
trying to connect with other people,
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pokušavajući da se povežu sa drugim ljudima,
09:29
and the couples were holding onto each other
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a parovi se oslanjaju jedni na druge
09:31
after all these decades.
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nakon svih ovih decenija.
09:35
My favorite pictures on this trip were of Joe and Roseanne.
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Moja omiljena slika na ovom putovanju bila je slika Džoa i Rozane.
09:39
Now, by the time we met Joe and Roseanne,
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Sad, u vreme kada smo upoznali Džoa i Rozanu
09:41
we'd gotten in the habit of asking couples if they had an old wedding photograph.
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izgradili smo naviku da pitamo parove da li imaju staru sliku sa venčanja.
09:46
In their case, they simultaneously pulled out of their wallets
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U njihovom slučaju, oboje su istovremeno izvadili iz novčanika
09:51
the exact same photograph.
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potpuno istu fotografiju.
09:56
What's more beautiful, I thought to myself,
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„Šta je lepše”, pomislio sam u sebi,
09:59
this image of a young couple who has just fallen in love
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„ova slika mladog para koji se upravo zaljubio
10:03
or the idea of these two people holding onto this image for decades?
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ili ideja da ovo dvoje ljudi nalazi oslonac u ovoj slici decenijama?”
10:10
Thank you.
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Hvala vam.
10:12
(Applause)
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(Aplauz)
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