Alec Soth + Stacey Baker: This is what enduring love looks like

84,692 views ・ 2015-07-15

TED


请双击下面的英文字幕来播放视频。

翻译人员: Wei Wu 校对人员: Huazhe Xie
00:13
Alec Soth: So about 10 years ago, I got a call from a woman in Texas,
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Alec Soth: 大概十年前, 我收到德州一位女士的电话,
00:16
Stacey Baker,
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就是她,Stacey Baker。
00:18
and she'd seen some of my photographs in an art exhibition
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她在一场艺术展上看过我的一些摄影作品,
00:22
and was wondering if she could commission me to take a portrait of her parents.
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然后想问是否可以请我为她的父母拍照。
00:27
Now, at the time I hadn't met Stacey, and I thought this was some sort of
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当时,我还没有见到Stacey, 我本以为她会是
00:31
wealthy oil tycoon and I'd struck it rich,
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某位石油大亨,让我一夜暴富。
00:35
but it was only later that I found out
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然而后来我很快发现,
00:37
she'd actually taken out a loan to make this happen.
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她实际上是贷款来完成这个拍摄的。
00:41
I took the picture of her parents,
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我为她父母拍摄了照片,
00:43
but I was actually more excited about photographing Stacey.
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但实际上我对拍摄Stacey更感兴趣。
00:47
The picture I made that day
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当日我拍下的这张照片,
00:48
ended up becoming one of my best-known portraits.
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最后成为了我最出名的人像摄影作品之一。
00:53
At the time I made this picture, Stacey was working as an attorney
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我拍这张照片的时候, Stacey是德州的一位律师。
00:57
for the State of Texas.
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00:58
Not long after, she left her job to study photography in Maine,
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不久之后,她辞去工作, 去缅因州学习摄影。
01:03
and while she was there, she ended up meeting
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在那期间, 她遇到了纽约时报杂志的一名摄影指导,
01:05
the director of photography at the New York Times Magazine
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01:08
and was actually offered a job.
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并得到了一份工作。
01:12
Stacey Baker: In the years since, Alec and I have done
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Stacey Baker: 那之后很多年里,
01:14
a number of magazine projects together,
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Alec和我一起完成了很多杂志摄影项目。
01:17
and we've become friends.
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而且我们成为了朋友。
01:19
A few months ago, I started talking to Alec about a fascination of mine.
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几个月前, 我给Alec讲述了我非常着迷的一个领域。
01:23
I've always been obsessed with how couples meet.
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我一直痴迷于研究夫妇是如何相遇的。
01:27
I asked Alec how he and his wife Rachel met,
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我问Alec是如何和他妻子Rachel相遇的,
01:30
and he told me the story of a high school football game
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他给我讲述了一个高中橄榄球赛的故事。
01:33
where she was 16 and he was 15,
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当时她16岁,他15岁,
01:36
and he asked her out.
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他约她出去,
01:38
He liked her purple hair.
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他喜欢她紫色的头发,
01:40
She said yes, and that was it.
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她同意了,就是这样而已。
01:43
I then asked Alec if he'd be interested in doing a photography project
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然后我问Alec他是否感兴趣做一个摄影项目
01:47
exploring this question.
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来探索这个问题。
01:49
AS: And I was interested in the question, but I was actually much more interested
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Alec Soth: 我对这个话题感兴趣, 但我更感兴趣的是
01:53
in Stacey's motivation for asking it,
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Stacey 询问的动机。
01:56
particularly since I'd never known Stacey to have a boyfriend.
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尤其是因为我从没听说 Stacey 有男朋友。
02:00
So as part of this project, I thought it'd be interesting
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所以作为这个项目的一部分,
我想如果她可以开始约会应该很有意思。
02:03
if she tried to meet someone.
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02:05
So my idea was to have Stacey here go speed dating
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所以我的想法是让 Stacey 参加速配约会,
02:10
in Las Vegas on Valentine's Day.
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去拉斯维加斯,在情人节当天。
02:14
(Laughter) (Applause) (Music)
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(笑声)(掌声)(音乐)
02:20
SB: We ended up at what was advertised as the world's largest speed dating event.
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Stacey Baker: 我们最后参加了 被宣传为世界最大规模速配约会的活动。
02:25
I had 19 dates
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我经历了19个约会,
02:27
and each date lasted three minutes.
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每个三分钟。
02:30
Participants were given a list of ice- breaker questions to get the ball rolling,
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参加者会得到一张清单, 写着各种用来打破沉默的问题
02:34
things like, "If you could be any kind of animal, what would you be?"
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问题例如 “如果你可以成为一种动物, 你会选择什么?”
02:38
That sort of thing.
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诸如此类。
02:40
My first date was Colin.
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我的第一个约会对象是Colin,
02:42
He's from England,
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他来自英国,
02:44
and he once married a woman he met after placing an ad for a Capricorn.
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他在张贴“想认识摩羯座的女孩”的广告后, 遇见了前妻。
02:49
Alec and I saw him at the end of the evening,
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Alec 和我在那晚结束时看到了他,
02:52
and he said he'd kissed a woman in line at one of the concession stands.
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他说他亲吻了一位在小卖部排队的女士。
02:57
Zack and Chris came to the date-a-thon together.
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Zack 和 Chris 是一起来参加这场约会马拉松的。
03:02
This is Carl.
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这位是Carl。
03:05
I asked Carl, "What's the first thing you notice about a woman?"
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我问Carl,“对一个女人,你首先关注的是什么?”
03:10
He said, "Tits."
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他说,“乳房。”
03:12
(Laughter)
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(笑声)
03:17
Matthew is attracted to women with muscular calves.
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Matthew 喜欢女人的小腿肌肉。
03:20
We talked about running. He does triathlons, I run half-marathons.
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我们聊了跑步。 他参加三项全能,我参加半程马拉松。
03:24
Alec actually liked his eyes and asked if I was attracted to him, but I wasn't,
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Alec 很喜欢他的眼睛, 问我有没有被他吸引,我说:没有。
03:29
and I don't think he was attracted to me either.
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而且我想我也没有吸引到他。
03:33
Austin and Mike came together.
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Austin 和 Mark 是一起来参加的。
03:36
Mike asked me a hypothetical question.
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Mike 问我了一个假设性问题。
03:39
He said, "You're in an elevator running late for a meeting.
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他说,“如果你在一架电梯里, 参加会议要迟到了,
03:43
Someone makes a dash for the elevator.
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这时候有个人想冲进电梯,
03:46
Do you hold it open for them?"
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你会等他上来后再关门吗?”
03:49
And I said I would not.
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我回答说不会。
03:51
(Laughter)
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(笑声)
03:55
Cliff said the first thing he notices about a woman is her teeth,
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Cliff 说他会先注意到女人的牙齿,
03:59
and we complimented each other's teeth.
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我们称赞了对方的牙齿。
04:02
Because he's an open mouth sleeper,
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因为他是那种张嘴睡觉的人,
04:05
he says he has to floss more to help prevent gum disease,
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他说他需要更频繁地使用牙线, 以预防牙周病。
04:09
and so I asked him how often he flosses,
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所以我问他用牙线有多频繁,
04:11
and he said, "Every other day."
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然后他回答说,“两天一次。”
04:14
(Laughter)
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(笑声)
04:17
Now, as someone who flosses twice a day,
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作为一个一天用两次牙线的人,
04:19
I wasn't really sure that that was flossing more
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我不是太确定这算是更频繁的使用,
04:22
but I don't think I said that out loud.
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但是我应该没有说出口。
04:24
Bill is an auditor,
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Bill 是一位审计师。
04:27
and we talked the entire three minutes about auditing. (Laughter)
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然后我们三分钟全程都在讨论审计。 (笑声)
04:34
The first thing Spencer notices about a woman is her complexion.
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Spencer 首先注意到女人的会是她的面色。
04:38
He feels a lot of women wear too much makeup,
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他觉得很多女人妆化得太重了,
04:41
and that they should only wear enough to accentuate the features that they have.
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他觉得女人只应该适当强调特征部位就可以。
04:45
I told him I didn't wear any makeup at all
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我告诉他,我一点妆也没化,
04:47
and he seemed to think that that was a good thing.
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他看上去觉得这是件好事。
04:51
Craig told me he didn't think I was willing to be vulnerable.
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Craig 告诉我, 他觉得我是不愿意脆弱的人。
04:55
He was also frustrated when I couldn't remember my most embarrassing moment.
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对于我不能回想起人生中最尴尬时刻, 他感到很受挫。
05:00
He thought I was lying, but I wasn't.
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他觉得我在说谎,但我并没有。
05:02
I didn't think he liked me at all, but at the end of the night,
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我一点也没觉得他喜欢我, 但是那晚结束时,
05:05
he came back to me and he gave me a box of chocolates.
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他来找我了,还送给了我一盒巧克力。
05:09
William was really difficult to talk to.
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和 William 很难交谈,
05:12
I think he was drunk.
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我觉得他喝多了。
05:14
(Laughter)
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(笑声)
05:17
Actor Chris McKenna was the MC of the event.
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演员 Chris McKenna 是活动的司仪,
05:20
He used to be on "The Young and the Restless."
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他曾出演过“不安分的青春”。
05:23
I didn't actually go on a date with him.
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我实际上并没有和他约会。
05:26
Alec said he saw several women give their phone numbers to him.
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Alec 说他看到一些女性 把自己的电话号码给了 Chris。
05:30
Needless to say, I didn't fall in love.
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毋庸置疑,我没有坠入爱河。
05:35
I didn't feel a particular connection with any of the men that I went on dates with,
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我没有对约会的任何一位男士有特别的感觉,
05:39
and I didn't feel like they felt a particular connection with me either.
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也没感到他们对我有特殊的感觉。
05:45
AS: Now, the most beautiful thing to me --
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Alec Soth: 作为一位摄影师, 对我来说最美好的事情--
05:48
(Laughter) -- as a photographer is the quality of vulnerability.
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(笑声)就是脆弱的特质。
05:53
The physical exterior reveals a crack in which you can get a glimpse
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生理性质的外部展示出裂痕,
05:57
at a more fragile interior.
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由此可以窥见一个更加脆弱的内心。
06:00
At this date-a-thon event, I saw so many examples of that,
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在这场约会马拉松上, 我看到了许许多多这样的例子,
06:03
but as I watched Stacey's dates and talked to her about them,
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但是我看着 Stacey 的约会对象, 对着她介绍自己,
06:08
I realized how different photographic love is from real love.
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我意识到照片下的爱 和真实中的爱是多么的不同。
06:14
What is real love? How does it work?
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什么是真实的爱?它如何作用?
06:18
In order to work on this question and to figure out how someone goes
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为了解决这个问题,
06:22
from meeting on a date to having a life together,
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为了找寻人们是如何从约会到一起生活的答案,
06:27
Stacey and I went to Sun City Summerlin,
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Stacey 和我去了太阳城,
06:29
which is the largest retirement community in Las Vegas.
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它是拉斯维加斯最大的退休人群居住社区。
06:35
Our contact there was George, who runs the community's photography club.
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我们在那的联系人是George, 他经营社区的摄影俱乐部。
06:39
He arranged for us to meet other couples in their makeshift photo studio.
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他在简易摄影工作室里, 为我们安排了与其他夫妇的见面。
06:44
SB: After 45 years of marriage, Anastasia's husband died two years ago,
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Stacey Baker: 经过了45年的婚姻生活, Anastasia 的丈夫于两年前去世了。
06:49
so we asked if she had an old wedding picture.
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所以我们问她能否提供以前的结婚照片。
06:52
She met her husband when she was a 15-year-old waitress
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她遇见他的丈夫的时候, 她是一位15岁的服务生,
06:56
at a small barbecue place in Michigan.
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在密歇根一家小烧烤店工作。
06:58
He was 30.
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他当时30岁。
07:00
She'd lied about her age.
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她谎报了年龄。
07:02
He was the first person she'd dated.
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他是她约会的第一个人。
07:05
Dean had been named photographer of the year in Las Vegas two years in a row,
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Dean 曾连续两年在拉斯维加斯 被称为年度摄影师。
07:09
and this caught Alec's attention,
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这引起了 Alec 的关注。
07:11
as did the fact that he met his wife, Judy,
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事实上,Dean 遇见他妻子 Judy 时的年龄,
07:14
at the same age when Alec met Rachel.
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与 Alec 遇见 Rachel 时的年龄一样。
07:17
Dean admitted that he likes to look at beautiful women,
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Dean 承认他喜欢看漂亮的的女人,
07:20
but he's never questioned his decision to marry Judy.
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但是他从未对自己选择 Judy 产生过疑问。
07:24
AS: George met Josephine at a parish dance.
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Alec Soth: George 是在教区舞会上 遇到 Josephine 的。
07:27
He was 18, she was 15.
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当时他18岁,她15岁。
07:29
Like a lot of the couples we met, they weren't especially philosophical
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如同我们遇到的很多夫妇一样,
在一开始选择时,他们没有特别的理性。
07:33
about their early choices.
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07:35
George said something that really stuck with me.
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George 说的话让我特别难以忘怀,
07:38
He said, "When you get that feeling, you just go with it."
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他说,“当你有感觉时,就跟着感觉走。”
07:46
Bob and Trudy met on a blind date when she was still in high school.
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Bob 和 Trudy 在一场初次约会中相遇, 当时她还在高中。
07:49
They said they weren't particularly attracted to each other
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他们说他们在初次见面时,并没有特别互相吸引。
07:52
when the first met.
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07:53
Nevertheless, they were married soon after.
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然而,他们之后很快结婚了。
07:57
SB: The story that stayed with me the most
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Stacey Baker: 我印象最深的故事
07:59
was that of George, the photography club president, and his wife, Mary.
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是 George,摄影俱乐部会长, 和他的妻子,Mary。
08:04
This was George and Mary's second marriage.
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这是 George 和 Mary 的第二次婚姻。
08:07
They met at a country-western club in Louisville, Kentucky called the Sahara.
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他们一个叫撒哈拉的西部俱乐部相遇, 俱乐部在肯塔基的路易斯维尔。
08:12
He was there alone drinking and she was with friends.
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当时他独自在那喝酒, 而她和她的朋友们一起。
08:16
When they started dating, he owed the IRS 9,000 dollars in taxes,
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当他们开始约会时, 他欠国税局9000美金税款。
08:21
and she offered to help him get out of debt,
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她提出要帮助他还上负债。
08:24
so for the next year, he turned his paychecks over to Mary,
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所以之后的一年, 他把自己的薪水上交给Mary,
08:28
and she got him out of debt.
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然后她帮他走出了负债困境。
08:30
George was actually an alcoholic when they married, and Mary knew it.
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事实上,他们结婚时,George 是个酒鬼, 而 Mary 也知道此事。
08:35
At some point in their marriage, he says he consumed
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在婚姻生活中的一段日子里,
08:38
54 beers in one day.
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他说自己可以一天喝下 54 瓶啤酒。
08:41
Another time, when he was drunk, he threatened to kill Mary
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还有一次,他喝醉了, 曾威胁要杀了 Mary 和她的两个孩子。
08:44
and her two kids,
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08:45
but they escaped and a SWAT team was called to the house.
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她们逃走了,找了特警队来家里。
08:50
Amazingly, Mary took him back,
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令人惊讶的是,Mary 把他从深渊里拉了上来,
08:52
and eventually things got better.
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最后,一切都变好了。
08:54
George has been involved in Alcoholics Anonymous
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George 参加了匿名戒酒互助会,
08:57
and hasn't had a drink in 36 years.
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而且他已经 36 年没有再喝酒了。
09:00
(Music)
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(音乐)
09:01
At the end of the day, after we left Sun City,
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那天结束时, 我们离开了太阳城之后,
09:04
I told Alec that I didn't actually think
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我对 Alec 说,
实际上,我没觉得这些夫妇的相遇 本身有多么有趣。
09:06
that the stories of how these couples met were all that interesting.
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09:10
What was more interesting
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其实更加有趣的是,
09:12
was how they managed to stay together.
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他们如何一直生活在一起。
09:16
AS: They all had this beautiful quality of endurance,
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Alec Soth: 他们都拥有忍耐这种美好品质,
09:20
but that was true of the singles, too.
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然而,单身人士也是如此。
09:23
The world is hard, and the singles were out there
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俗世艰难, 单身者独自在那,
09:26
trying to connect with other people,
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尝试与他人接触。
09:29
and the couples were holding onto each other
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而夫妻在经历岁月后,
09:31
after all these decades.
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依旧紧握彼此。
09:35
My favorite pictures on this trip were of Joe and Roseanne.
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这趟旅程中我最爱的照片, 是 Joe 和 Roseanne 的。
09:39
Now, by the time we met Joe and Roseanne,
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在我们遇到 Joe 和 Roseanne 时,
09:41
we'd gotten in the habit of asking couples if they had an old wedding photograph.
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我们习惯于问夫妇俩有没有一张老结婚照。
09:46
In their case, they simultaneously pulled out of their wallets
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对此,他们俩同时从钱包里 拿出了一模一样的照片。
09:51
the exact same photograph.
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我问我自己,哪一个更美呢?
09:56
What's more beautiful, I thought to myself,
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09:59
this image of a young couple who has just fallen in love
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是这张年轻夫妻刚刚坠入爱河的照片?
10:03
or the idea of these two people holding onto this image for decades?
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还是二人紧握这张照片度过如此多年?
10:10
Thank you.
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谢谢。
10:12
(Applause)
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(掌声)
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