Alec Soth + Stacey Baker: This is what enduring love looks like

84,847 views ・ 2015-07-15

TED


Dvaput kliknite na engleske titlove ispod za reprodukciju videozapisa.

Prevoditelj: Anja Kolobarić Recezent: Ivan Stamenković
00:13
Alec Soth: So about 10 years ago, I got a call from a woman in Texas,
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Alex Soth: Prije desetak godina, nazvala me jedna Teksašanka
00:16
Stacey Baker,
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Stacey Baker
00:18
and she'd seen some of my photographs in an art exhibition
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koja je vidjele neke moje fotografije na umjetničkoj izložbi
00:22
and was wondering if she could commission me to take a portrait of her parents.
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i zamolila me da napravim portret njezinih roditelja.
00:27
Now, at the time I hadn't met Stacey, and I thought this was some sort of
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Tada još nisam upoznao Stacey, pa sam mislio da se radi
00:31
wealthy oil tycoon and I'd struck it rich,
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o nekom tajkunu i da me sad čekaju velike pare,
00:35
but it was only later that I found out
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ali tek sam kasnije saznao
00:37
she'd actually taken out a loan to make this happen.
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da je podigla kredit da bi to omogućila.
00:41
I took the picture of her parents,
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Fotografirao sam njezine roditelje,
00:43
but I was actually more excited about photographing Stacey.
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ali više sam se veselio fotografiranju Stacey.
00:47
The picture I made that day
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Fotografija koju sam tada uslikao
00:48
ended up becoming one of my best-known portraits.
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postala je jedna od mojih najpoznatijih portreta.
00:53
At the time I made this picture, Stacey was working as an attorney
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U to je vrijeme Stacey radila kao javna tužiteljica
00:57
for the State of Texas.
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za Teksas.
00:58
Not long after, she left her job to study photography in Maine,
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Nedugo zatim napustila je taj posao radi studija fotografije u Maineu
01:03
and while she was there, she ended up meeting
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Tamo je upoznala
01:05
the director of photography at the New York Times Magazine
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direktora fotografije za časopis New York Times
01:08
and was actually offered a job.
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koji joj je ponudio posao.
01:12
Stacey Baker: In the years since, Alec and I have done
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Stacey Baker: Otada smo Alec i ja zajedno odradili
01:14
a number of magazine projects together,
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cijeli niz projekata za časopise
01:17
and we've become friends.
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i postali prijatelji.
01:19
A few months ago, I started talking to Alec about a fascination of mine.
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Prije nekoliko mjeseci Alecu sam počela pričati o jednoj svojoj fascinaciji.
01:23
I've always been obsessed with how couples meet.
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Uvijek sam voljela priče o upoznavanju parova.
01:27
I asked Alec how he and his wife Rachel met,
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Pitala sam Aleca kako su se njegova žena Rachel i on upoznali
01:30
and he told me the story of a high school football game
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i ispričao mi je priču o srednjoškolskoj utakmici američkog nogometa.
01:33
where she was 16 and he was 15,
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Njoj je bilo 16. godina, a njemu 15
01:36
and he asked her out.
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i pozvao ju je na spoj.
01:38
He liked her purple hair.
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Sviđala mu se njezina ljubičasta kosa,
01:40
She said yes, and that was it.
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ona je pristala i to je bilo to.
01:43
I then asked Alec if he'd be interested in doing a photography project
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Zatim sam Alecu predložila fotografski projekt
01:47
exploring this question.
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koji bi se bavio tim pitanjem.
01:49
AS: And I was interested in the question, but I was actually much more interested
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AS: Mene je to pitanje zanimalo, ali još me više zanimalo
01:53
in Stacey's motivation for asking it,
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što je Stacey motiviralo na to,
01:56
particularly since I'd never known Stacey to have a boyfriend.
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pogotovo s obzirom na to da nisam znao da Stacey ima dečka.
02:00
So as part of this project, I thought it'd be interesting
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Kao dio projekta mislio sam da bi bilo zanimljivo
02:03
if she tried to meet someone.
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kad bi pokušala upoznati nekoga.
02:05
So my idea was to have Stacey here go speed dating
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Moja je ideja bila poslati Stacey na brzinske spojeve
02:10
in Las Vegas on Valentine's Day.
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u Las Vegas na Valentinovo.
02:14
(Laughter) (Applause) (Music)
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(Smijeh) (Pljesak) (Glazba)
02:20
SB: We ended up at what was advertised as the world's largest speed dating event.
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SB: Završili smo na nečemu promoviranom kao najveći skup brzinskih spojeva.
02:25
I had 19 dates
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Imala sam 19 spojeva
02:27
and each date lasted three minutes.
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i svaki je spoj trajao tri minute.
02:30
Participants were given a list of ice- breaker questions to get the ball rolling,
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Sudionicima su dana pitanja za probijanje leda da bi razgovor lakše tekao,
02:34
things like, "If you could be any kind of animal, what would you be?"
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poput: "Kad bio mogao/la biti bilo koja životinja na svijetu, što bi izabrao/la?"
02:38
That sort of thing.
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I slična pitanja.
02:40
My first date was Colin.
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Prvi sam spoj imala s Colinom
02:42
He's from England,
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iz Engleske.
02:44
and he once married a woman he met after placing an ad for a Capricorn.
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On je nekoć oženio ženu koju je upoznao preko oglasa u kojem je tražio jarca.
02:49
Alec and I saw him at the end of the evening,
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Alec i ja vidjeli smo ga na kraju večeri
02:52
and he said he'd kissed a woman in line at one of the concession stands.
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i rekao nam je da je poljubio ženu koja je stajala u redu za jedan od štandova.
02:57
Zack and Chris came to the date-a-thon together.
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Zack i Chris na ovaj su događaj došli zajedno.
03:02
This is Carl.
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Ovo je Carl.
03:05
I asked Carl, "What's the first thing you notice about a woman?"
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Pitala sam Carla što prvo primijeti na ženi.
03:10
He said, "Tits."
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Odgovorio je: "Grudi."
03:12
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
03:17
Matthew is attracted to women with muscular calves.
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Matthewa privlače žene mišićavih listova.
03:20
We talked about running. He does triathlons, I run half-marathons.
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Razgovarali smo o trčanju. On trči triatlone, a ja polumaratone.
03:24
Alec actually liked his eyes and asked if I was attracted to him, but I wasn't,
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Alecu su se svidjele njegove oči i pitao me privlači li me, ali rekoh ne,
03:29
and I don't think he was attracted to me either.
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a mislim da ni ja njega nisam privlačila.
03:33
Austin and Mike came together.
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Austin i Mike došli su zajedno.
03:36
Mike asked me a hypothetical question.
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Mike mi je postavio hipotetsko pitanje:
03:39
He said, "You're in an elevator running late for a meeting.
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"U dizalu si i kasniš na sastanak.
03:43
Someone makes a dash for the elevator.
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Netko potrči prema dizalu.
03:46
Do you hold it open for them?"
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Hoćeš li ga zadržati za njih?"
03:49
And I said I would not.
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Rekoh: "Neću."
03:51
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
03:55
Cliff said the first thing he notices about a woman is her teeth,
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Cliff je rekao da on na ženi najprije primijeti zube,
03:59
and we complimented each other's teeth.
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pa smo jedno drugome pohvalili zube.
04:02
Because he's an open mouth sleeper,
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Budući da spava otvorenih usta,
04:05
he says he has to floss more to help prevent gum disease,
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kaže da mora češće koristiti zubni konac radi prevencije bolesti desni.
04:09
and so I asked him how often he flosses,
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Pitala sam koliko često čisti zube zubnim koncem
04:11
and he said, "Every other day."
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i rekao je: "Svaki drugi dan."
04:14
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
04:17
Now, as someone who flosses twice a day,
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Budući da ja svoje čistim dvaput dnevno,
04:19
I wasn't really sure that that was flossing more
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nisam bila sigurna da je to baš "češće",
04:22
but I don't think I said that out loud.
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ali mislim da to nisam rekla naglas.
04:24
Bill is an auditor,
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Bill je revizor
04:27
and we talked the entire three minutes about auditing. (Laughter)
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i cijele te tri minute razgovarali smo o financijskoj reviziji. (Smijeh)
04:34
The first thing Spencer notices about a woman is her complexion.
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Spencer na ženi najprije primijeti ten.
04:38
He feels a lot of women wear too much makeup,
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Smatra da puno žena nosi previše šminke
04:41
and that they should only wear enough to accentuate the features that they have.
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i da bi trebale nositi tek toliko da naglase svoje najjače strane.
04:45
I told him I didn't wear any makeup at all
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Rekla sam mu da uopće ne nosim šminku
04:47
and he seemed to think that that was a good thing.
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i on je to izgleda vidio kao pozitivnu stvar.
04:51
Craig told me he didn't think I was willing to be vulnerable.
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Craig je mislio da nisam voljna biti ranjiva,
04:55
He was also frustrated when I couldn't remember my most embarrassing moment.
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a frustriralo ga je i to što se nisam mogla sjetiti najneugodnijeg iskustva.
05:00
He thought I was lying, but I wasn't.
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Mislio je da lažem, ali nisam lagala.
05:02
I didn't think he liked me at all, but at the end of the night,
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Mislila sam da mu se uopće ne sviđam, ali na kraju večeri
05:05
he came back to me and he gave me a box of chocolates.
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prišao mi je i dao mi bombonijeru.
05:09
William was really difficult to talk to.
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S Williamom je bilo izrazito teško razgovarati.
05:12
I think he was drunk.
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Mislim da je bio pijan.
05:14
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
05:17
Actor Chris McKenna was the MC of the event.
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Glumac Chris McKenna bio je organizator događaja.
05:20
He used to be on "The Young and the Restless."
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Nekoć je glumio u seriji "Mladi i neobuzdani".
05:23
I didn't actually go on a date with him.
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S njim nisam išla na spoj.
05:26
Alec said he saw several women give their phone numbers to him.
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Alec je rekao da je vidio nekoliko žena kako mu daju svoj broj.
05:30
Needless to say, I didn't fall in love.
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Ne treba ni reći da se nisam zaljubila.
05:35
I didn't feel a particular connection with any of the men that I went on dates with,
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Nisam osjetila neku posebnu kemiju ni s jednim od muškaraca,
05:39
and I didn't feel like they felt a particular connection with me either.
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a i mislim da je bilo uzajamno.
05:45
AS: Now, the most beautiful thing to me --
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AS: Ono što je meni bilo najljepše u cijeloj priči
05:48
(Laughter) -- as a photographer is the quality of vulnerability.
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(Smijeh) -- meni kao fotografu bila je kvaliteta ranjivosti.
05:53
The physical exterior reveals a crack in which you can get a glimpse
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Fizička vanjština otkriva pukotinu kroz koju možete ugledati tračak
05:57
at a more fragile interior.
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još ranjivije unutrašnjosti.
06:00
At this date-a-thon event, I saw so many examples of that,
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Na ovom skupu brzinskih spojeva vidio sam puno takvih primjera,
06:03
but as I watched Stacey's dates and talked to her about them,
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ali gledajući Staceyine spojeve i pričajući s njom o njima,
06:08
I realized how different photographic love is from real love.
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shvatio sam koliko je fotografska ljubav drugačija od one prave.
06:14
What is real love? How does it work?
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Što je prava ljubav i kako funkcionira?
06:18
In order to work on this question and to figure out how someone goes
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Kako bismo odgovorili na ovo pitanje i shvatili kako netko
06:22
from meeting on a date to having a life together,
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kreće od spoja do zajedničkog života.
06:27
Stacey and I went to Sun City Summerlin,
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Stacey i ja posjetili smo Sun City Summerlin,
06:29
which is the largest retirement community in Las Vegas.
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najvećeu zajednicu umirovljenika u Las Vegasu.
06:35
Our contact there was George, who runs the community's photography club.
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Veza nam je bio George, voditelj foto-sekcije za umirovljenike.
06:39
He arranged for us to meet other couples in their makeshift photo studio.
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Dogovorio nam je susret s drugim parovima u improviziranom foto-studiju.
06:44
SB: After 45 years of marriage, Anastasia's husband died two years ago,
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SB: Anastasijin je suprug umro prije dvije godine nakon 45 godina braka,
06:49
so we asked if she had an old wedding picture.
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pa smo je zamolili za staru sliku s vjenčanja.
06:52
She met her husband when she was a 15-year-old waitress
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Muža je upoznala kao petnaestogodišnja konobarica
06:56
at a small barbecue place in Michigan.
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u maloj roštiljarnici u Michiganu.
06:58
He was 30.
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Njemu je bilo 30 godina,
07:00
She'd lied about her age.
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a ona je o svojim godinama lagala.
07:02
He was the first person she'd dated.
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On joj je bio prvi dečko.
07:05
Dean had been named photographer of the year in Las Vegas two years in a row,
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Dean je dvije godine zaredom imenovan fotografom godine,
07:09
and this caught Alec's attention,
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što je zainteresiralo Aleca,
07:11
as did the fact that he met his wife, Judy,
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kao i činjenica da je svoju suprugu Judy
07:14
at the same age when Alec met Rachel.
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upoznao kada je bio istih godina kao i Alec kad je upoznao Rachel.
07:17
Dean admitted that he likes to look at beautiful women,
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Dean je priznao da voli gledati lijepe žene,
07:20
but he's never questioned his decision to marry Judy.
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ali nikad nije požalio zbog svoje odluke da oženi Judy.
07:24
AS: George met Josephine at a parish dance.
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AS: George je upoznao Josephine na župnom plesu.
07:27
He was 18, she was 15.
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Njemu je bilo 18., a njoj 15.
07:29
Like a lot of the couples we met, they weren't especially philosophical
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Kao i većina parova koje smo upoznali, ni oni nisu previše filozofirali
07:33
about their early choices.
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oko svojih ranih odluka.
07:35
George said something that really stuck with me.
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George je rekao nešto što me zaista zateklo.
07:38
He said, "When you get that feeling, you just go with it."
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Rekao je: "Kad dobiješ taj osjećaj, samo ga slijedi."
07:46
Bob and Trudy met on a blind date when she was still in high school.
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Bob i Trudy upoznali su se na spoju naslijepo dok je ona bila u srednjoj.
07:49
They said they weren't particularly attracted to each other
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Priznali su da jedno drugome nisu bili pretjerano privlačni
07:52
when the first met.
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kad su se tek upoznali,
07:53
Nevertheless, they were married soon after.
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no bez obzira na to, ubrzo su se vjenčail.
07:57
SB: The story that stayed with me the most
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SB: Mene se najviše dojmila
07:59
was that of George, the photography club president, and his wife, Mary.
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Georgeva priča, priča predsjednika foto-sekcije i njegove supruge Mary.
08:04
This was George and Mary's second marriage.
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Oboma je to bio drugi brak.
08:07
They met at a country-western club in Louisville, Kentucky called the Sahara.
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Upoznali su se u zapadnjačkom country klubu "Sahari" u Louisvilleu u Kentuckyju.
08:12
He was there alone drinking and she was with friends.
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On je pio sam, a ona je bila s prijateljicama.
08:16
When they started dating, he owed the IRS 9,000 dollars in taxes,
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Kad su počeli izlaziti, on je Poreznoj upravi dugovao 9.000 dolara,
08:21
and she offered to help him get out of debt,
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a ona mu je ponudila pomoći da se izvuče iz dugova,
08:24
so for the next year, he turned his paychecks over to Mary,
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stoga je naredne godine svoje plaće davao Mary
08:28
and she got him out of debt.
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koja ga je izvukla iz dugova.
08:30
George was actually an alcoholic when they married, and Mary knew it.
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George je bio alkoholičar kad su se vjenčali i Mary je to znala.
08:35
At some point in their marriage, he says he consumed
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Kaže da je u određenoj fazi njihova braka
08:38
54 beers in one day.
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popio 54 piva u jednom danu.
08:41
Another time, when he was drunk, he threatened to kill Mary
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Drugom prilikom, pijan je prijetio Mary da će ubiti i nju
08:44
and her two kids,
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i njezinih dvoje djece,
08:45
but they escaped and a SWAT team was called to the house.
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ali pobjegli su i specijalci su im pozvani u kuću.
08:50
Amazingly, Mary took him back,
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Čudom, Mary ga je primila nazad
08:52
and eventually things got better.
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i s vremenom su se stvari popravile.
08:54
George has been involved in Alcoholics Anonymous
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George se uključio u anonimne alkoholičare
08:57
and hasn't had a drink in 36 years.
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i ne pije već 36 godina.
09:00
(Music)
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(Glazba)
09:01
At the end of the day, after we left Sun City,
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Na kraju dana, kad smo napustili Sun City,
09:04
I told Alec that I didn't actually think
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rekla sam Alecu da mi
09:06
that the stories of how these couples met were all that interesting.
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priče o upoznavanju nisu pretjerano zanimljive.
09:10
What was more interesting
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Zanimljvije su mi priče
09:12
was how they managed to stay together.
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o tome kako su ti parovi ostali zajedno.
09:16
AS: They all had this beautiful quality of endurance,
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AS: Svi su imali tu predivnu sposobnost izdržljivosti,
09:20
but that was true of the singles, too.
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baš kao i samci.
09:23
The world is hard, and the singles were out there
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Svijet je okrutan, a samci se ondje
09:26
trying to connect with other people,
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pokušavaju povezati s drugim ljudima,
09:29
and the couples were holding onto each other
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a parovi imaju jedni druge
09:31
after all these decades.
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nakon tolikih desetljeća.
09:35
My favorite pictures on this trip were of Joe and Roseanne.
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Moja najdraža fotografija s ovog puta jest ona Joeva i Roseanneina.
09:39
Now, by the time we met Joe and Roseanne,
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Dok smo upoznali Joe i Roseanne,
09:41
we'd gotten in the habit of asking couples if they had an old wedding photograph.
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već smo se naviknuli tražiti parove staru sliku s vjenčanja.
09:46
In their case, they simultaneously pulled out of their wallets
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U njihovu slučaju oni su istovremeno iz novčanika izvukli
09:51
the exact same photograph.
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istu fotografiju.
09:56
What's more beautiful, I thought to myself,
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Što je ljepše, pomislih,
09:59
this image of a young couple who has just fallen in love
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ova slika mladog para koji se tek zaljubio
10:03
or the idea of these two people holding onto this image for decades?
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ili pomisao da tih dvoje ljudi čuva tu sliku već desetljećima?
10:10
Thank you.
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Hvala vam.
10:12
(Applause)
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(Pljesak)
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