Alec Soth + Stacey Baker: This is what enduring love looks like

84,847 views ・ 2015-07-15

TED


請雙擊下方英文字幕播放視頻。

譯者: Wink Wong 審譯者: William Choi
00:13
Alec Soth: So about 10 years ago, I got a call from a woman in Texas,
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索思:大約10年前,我接到 從德州打來的女子來電,
00:16
Stacey Baker,
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史黛絲貝克,
00:18
and she'd seen some of my photographs in an art exhibition
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她在一次藝術展覽中 看過我的攝影作品,
00:22
and was wondering if she could commission me to take a portrait of her parents.
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她想聘請我替她的父母拍照。
00:27
Now, at the time I hadn't met Stacey, and I thought this was some sort of
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那時我還未見過史黛絲,以為他們是
00:31
wealthy oil tycoon and I'd struck it rich,
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有錢的石油大亨, 心想今回可以賺一筆了,
00:35
but it was only later that I found out
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但是後來發現
00:37
she'd actually taken out a loan to make this happen.
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她事實上靠借錢來做這件事。
00:41
I took the picture of her parents,
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我替她的父母拍照,
00:43
but I was actually more excited about photographing Stacey.
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但是我比較熱衷給史黛絲拍照。
00:47
The picture I made that day
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那天拍下的照片,
00:48
ended up becoming one of my best-known portraits.
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最後變成我 最出名的個人照片之一。
00:53
At the time I made this picture, Stacey was working as an attorney
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我拍下這張照片時,
00:57
for the State of Texas.
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史黛絲正在德州做律師。
00:58
Not long after, she left her job to study photography in Maine,
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其後不久,她辭職去緬因州學攝影,
01:03
and while she was there, she ended up meeting
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她在那裡,結果遇到
01:05
the director of photography at the New York Times Magazine
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紐約時代週刊的攝影主管,
01:08
and was actually offered a job.
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她因此而獲得新工作。
01:12
Stacey Baker: In the years since, Alec and I have done
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史黛絲:從此以後, 亞歷克跟我多年來
01:14
a number of magazine projects together,
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一齊合作做很多週刊項目,
01:17
and we've become friends.
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漸漸結為朋友。
01:19
A few months ago, I started talking to Alec about a fascination of mine.
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數月前,我開始跟亞歷克 談到我醉心的一件事。
01:23
I've always been obsessed with how couples meet.
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我一直很著迷 一對伴侶是怎樣邂逅的。
01:27
I asked Alec how he and his wife Rachel met,
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我問亞歷克他是 怎樣遇到自己的太太瑞秋,
01:30
and he told me the story of a high school football game
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他說了高中足球比賽的故事,
01:33
where she was 16 and he was 15,
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兩人在那次活動相遇, 太太當時16歲,他15歲,
01:36
and he asked her out.
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亞歷克約瑞秋外出約會。
01:38
He liked her purple hair.
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他喜歡她那把紫色的頭髮。
01:40
She said yes, and that was it.
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她說哦,故事就是這樣。
01:43
I then asked Alec if he'd be interested in doing a photography project
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然後我問他是否願意 做一個攝影項目
01:47
exploring this question.
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去探討這個題目。
01:49
AS: And I was interested in the question, but I was actually much more interested
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亞歷克:我是有興趣,
01:53
in Stacey's motivation for asking it,
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但事實上我最想知道 史黛絲背後的動機,
01:56
particularly since I'd never known Stacey to have a boyfriend.
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特別是我從來不知道 史黛絲有男朋友。
02:00
So as part of this project, I thought it'd be interesting
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所以如果她想結識男朋友,
02:03
if she tried to meet someone.
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而作為這個項目其中一部份, 將會是非常有趣的事情。
02:05
So my idea was to have Stacey here go speed dating
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於是我想史黛絲在情人節那天,
02:10
in Las Vegas on Valentine's Day.
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到拉斯維加斯參加快速約會。
02:14
(Laughter) (Applause) (Music)
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(笑聲)(掌聲)(音樂)
02:20
SB: We ended up at what was advertised as the world's largest speed dating event.
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史黛絲:結果我們參加了被宣傳為 全世界最盛大的快速約會。
02:25
I had 19 dates
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我有19個約會,
02:27
and each date lasted three minutes.
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而每次約會歷時 3 分鐘,
02:30
Participants were given a list of ice- breaker questions to get the ball rolling,
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參加者會得到一組有助於 打破悶局的問題來開頭,
02:34
things like, "If you could be any kind of animal, what would you be?"
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例如:「假如你可以變成動物, 你想做那種動物?」
02:38
That sort of thing.
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諸如此類。
02:40
My first date was Colin.
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我第一個約會對象是科林。
02:42
He's from England,
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他來自英國,
02:44
and he once married a woman he met after placing an ad for a Capricorn.
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曾經跟一名女子結過婚,是他 登廣告徴求摩羯座女生時認識的。
02:49
Alec and I saw him at the end of the evening,
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活動結束前,我和亞歷克見到他,
02:52
and he said he'd kissed a woman in line at one of the concession stands.
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他說在攤位前排隊時吻了一位女子。
02:57
Zack and Chris came to the date-a-thon together.
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沙克和克里斯一齊 到來參加約會馬拉松。
03:02
This is Carl.
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這是卡爾。
03:05
I asked Carl, "What's the first thing you notice about a woman?"
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我問卡爾:「你看女人時 首先留意她的什麼?」
03:10
He said, "Tits."
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他説:「乳房。」
03:12
(Laughter)
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(笑聲)
03:17
Matthew is attracted to women with muscular calves.
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馬修喜愛女性擁有結實的小腿。
03:20
We talked about running. He does triathlons, I run half-marathons.
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我們談跑步。 他參加三項鐵人賽,我跑半馬拉松。
03:24
Alec actually liked his eyes and asked if I was attracted to him, but I wasn't,
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亞歷克喜歡他的眼睛, 問我是否迷上他,但我説沒有,
03:29
and I don't think he was attracted to me either.
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我覺得他對我沒興趣。
03:33
Austin and Mike came together.
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奧斯丁和麥克一起到來。
03:36
Mike asked me a hypothetical question.
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麥克問我一條假設的問題。
03:39
He said, "You're in an elevator running late for a meeting.
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他説:「如果你正要 趕著去開會,進入升降機後,
03:43
Someone makes a dash for the elevator.
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這時有人想衝入升降機。
03:46
Do you hold it open for them?"
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妳會按著開門鈕讓他進來嗎?」
03:49
And I said I would not.
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我説不會。
03:51
(Laughter)
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(笑聲)
03:55
Cliff said the first thing he notices about a woman is her teeth,
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奇里夫見到女性,最先留意她的牙齒,
03:59
and we complimented each other's teeth.
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於是我們互相讚美對方的牙齒。
04:02
Because he's an open mouth sleeper,
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因為他睡覺要張開口,
04:05
he says he has to floss more to help prevent gum disease,
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所以用牙線潔齒,可以防止牙齦病。
04:09
and so I asked him how often he flosses,
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我問他隔多久用牙線?
04:11
and he said, "Every other day."
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他説:「每隔一天。」
04:14
(Laughter)
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(笑聲)
04:17
Now, as someone who flosses twice a day,
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現在有人一日用兩次牙線。
04:19
I wasn't really sure that that was flossing more
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我不太肯定這是否用得過多,
04:22
but I don't think I said that out loud.
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但我不會大聲説出來。
04:24
Bill is an auditor,
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比爾是審計員,
04:27
and we talked the entire three minutes about auditing. (Laughter)
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我們談了整整3分鐘 都是審計的話題。(笑聲)
04:34
The first thing Spencer notices about a woman is her complexion.
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史賓莎最先注意女性的面容。
04:38
He feels a lot of women wear too much makeup,
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他覺得很多女性化濃妝,
04:41
and that they should only wear enough to accentuate the features that they have.
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化妝時應該突出臉部輪廓便足夠。
04:45
I told him I didn't wear any makeup at all
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我對他説我幾乎沒有化妝,
04:47
and he seemed to think that that was a good thing.
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他似乎覺得這是好事。
04:51
Craig told me he didn't think I was willing to be vulnerable.
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克雷格說我不是脆弱的人。
04:55
He was also frustrated when I couldn't remember my most embarrassing moment.
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他對我未能記得曾遇過的 最尷尬時刻,感到失望。
05:00
He thought I was lying, but I wasn't.
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他認為我撒謊,但我沒有。
05:02
I didn't think he liked me at all, but at the end of the night,
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我想他並不喜歡我, 但到了晚上結束時,
05:05
he came back to me and he gave me a box of chocolates.
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他回來給我一盒巧克力。
05:09
William was really difficult to talk to.
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我真的感到難以跟威廉聊天,
05:12
I think he was drunk.
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我覺得他喝醉了。
05:14
(Laughter)
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(笑聲)
05:17
Actor Chris McKenna was the MC of the event.
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演員克里斯·麥肯納是活動的司儀,
05:20
He used to be on "The Young and the Restless."
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他曾經演出「不安分的青春」,
05:23
I didn't actually go on a date with him.
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我真的沒有跟他約會。
05:26
Alec said he saw several women give their phone numbers to him.
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亞歷克見有幾個女生 留下電話號碼給他。
05:30
Needless to say, I didn't fall in love.
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不用說,我沒有墮入愛河。
05:35
I didn't feel a particular connection with any of the men that I went on dates with,
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那些跟我約會過的男士, 我對他們沒有特別感覺,
05:39
and I didn't feel like they felt a particular connection with me either.
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我相信他們對我也一樣。
05:45
AS: Now, the most beautiful thing to me --
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亞歷克:現在我覺得最美的事
05:48
(Laughter) -- as a photographer is the quality of vulnerability.
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(笑聲)作為一位攝影師, 大家都容易受到傷害的本質。
05:53
The physical exterior reveals a crack in which you can get a glimpse
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外表反映了那道裂縫
05:57
at a more fragile interior.
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讓你能夠看到內心的脆弱。
06:00
At this date-a-thon event, I saw so many examples of that,
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我在這次活動看到很多這些例子,
06:03
but as I watched Stacey's dates and talked to her about them,
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但觀察史黛絲约會, 後來跟她討論,
06:08
I realized how different photographic love is from real love.
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才領悟到相片裡看到的愛情 跟真愛是那麼不同。
06:14
What is real love? How does it work?
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什麼叫做真愛?它怎樣實現呢?
06:18
In order to work on this question and to figure out how someone goes
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為了解答這個問題和了解伴侶
06:22
from meeting on a date to having a life together,
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怎樣從赴約變成終生廝守,
06:27
Stacey and I went to Sun City Summerlin,
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史黛絲和我到太陽城薩默林,
06:29
which is the largest retirement community in Las Vegas.
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那裡是拉斯維加斯 最大的退休人士社區。
06:35
Our contact there was George, who runs the community's photography club.
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我們聯絡了佐治, 他管理那裡的攝影會。
06:39
He arranged for us to meet other couples in their makeshift photo studio.
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他安排我們在臨時的製片廠 與其他夫婦見面。
06:44
SB: After 45 years of marriage, Anastasia's husband died two years ago,
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史黛絲:經過了45年婚姻, 安娜塔西亞的丈夫兩年前過世,
06:49
so we asked if she had an old wedding picture.
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我們問她有沒有結婚的舊相片。
06:52
She met her husband when she was a 15-year-old waitress
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她15歲那年,跟丈夫邂逅。
06:56
at a small barbecue place in Michigan.
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那時她在密揭根州的 一個小型燒烤場當女侍應。
06:58
He was 30.
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他當時30歲,
07:00
She'd lied about her age.
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而她說謊,虛報年齡,
07:02
He was the first person she'd dated.
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她第一個約會的對象便是他。
07:05
Dean had been named photographer of the year in Las Vegas two years in a row,
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迪恩連續兩年在拉斯維加斯 獲選為年度攝影家,
07:09
and this caught Alec's attention,
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因此吸引了亞歷克的注意。
07:11
as did the fact that he met his wife, Judy,
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其實迪恩跟太太相遇的年紀
07:14
at the same age when Alec met Rachel.
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和亞歷克跟瑞秋相遇的年紀一樣。
07:17
Dean admitted that he likes to look at beautiful women,
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迪恩承認自己愛看美女,
07:20
but he's never questioned his decision to marry Judy.
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但他從不後悔決定與茱迪結婚。
07:24
AS: George met Josephine at a parish dance.
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亞歷克:佐治與約瑟芬 在社區舞會相識。
07:27
He was 18, she was 15.
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佐治當時18歲,約瑟芬15歳。
07:29
Like a lot of the couples we met, they weren't especially philosophical
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就像我們遇到的很多伴侶,
07:33
about their early choices.
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他們早年的決定並不 特別是卓越且有見識的,
07:35
George said something that really stuck with me.
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佐治說了些話,令我無法忘記。
07:38
He said, "When you get that feeling, you just go with it."
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他說:「如果你有那種感覺 ,便要隨著它走。」
07:46
Bob and Trudy met on a blind date when she was still in high school.
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卓迪還在讀高中時,跟卜合相親。
07:49
They said they weren't particularly attracted to each other
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兩人說大家初次見面時,
07:52
when the first met.
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並没有彼此吸引。
07:53
Nevertheless, they were married soon after.
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但是不久之後,他們便結婚了。
07:57
SB: The story that stayed with me the most
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史黛絲:令我感受最深刻的是
07:59
was that of George, the photography club president, and his wife, Mary.
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攝影會主席佐治和妻子瑪麗的故事,
08:04
This was George and Mary's second marriage.
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兩人都是再次結婚。
08:07
They met at a country-western club in Louisville, Kentucky called the Sahara.
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他們邂逅於肯德基卅路易維耳市的 西部鄉村俱樂部,其名為撒哈拉,
08:12
He was there alone drinking and she was with friends.
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佐治一個人在那裡喝酒, 而瑪麗則與朋友一齊。
08:16
When they started dating, he owed the IRS 9,000 dollars in taxes,
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他們開始來往時, 佐治欠下稅局九千元,
08:21
and she offered to help him get out of debt,
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而她願意幫助他還清債務。
08:24
so for the next year, he turned his paychecks over to Mary,
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於是第二年,他把薪水全部交給瑪麗,
08:28
and she got him out of debt.
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最後瑪麗幫他償還欠債。
08:30
George was actually an alcoholic when they married, and Mary knew it.
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佐治其實是酒鬼, 兩人結婚時,瑪麗早已知道。
08:35
At some point in their marriage, he says he consumed
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他們婚後,他說有些日子
08:38
54 beers in one day.
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試過一日喝54杯啤酒,
08:41
Another time, when he was drunk, he threatened to kill Mary
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又有一次,他喝醉了,
08:44
and her two kids,
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還威脅要殺死瑪麗和兩個孩子。
08:45
but they escaped and a SWAT team was called to the house.
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不過瑪麗跟孩子逃脫了, 特警隊還奉召到來。
08:50
Amazingly, Mary took him back,
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令人吃驚的是瑪麗帶他回家,
08:52
and eventually things got better.
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最終其後生活漸入佳境。
08:54
George has been involved in Alcoholics Anonymous
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佐治參加了戒酒無名會,
08:57
and hasn't had a drink in 36 years.
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現在已經有 36 年沒有喝酒。
09:00
(Music)
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(音樂)
09:01
At the end of the day, after we left Sun City,
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工作完畢,我們離開太陽城,
09:04
I told Alec that I didn't actually think
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我告訴亞歷克我真的不覺得
09:06
that the stories of how these couples met were all that interesting.
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這些伴侶的邂逅故事有趣,
09:10
What was more interesting
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更有意思的是
09:12
was how they managed to stay together.
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他們怎樣想辦法待在一起。
09:16
AS: They all had this beautiful quality of endurance,
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亞歷克:他們都具有忍耐的美德,
09:20
but that was true of the singles, too.
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但單身人士也一樣。
09:23
The world is hard, and the singles were out there
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他們生活困難,也在㚈面
09:26
trying to connect with other people,
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希望跟別人交往,
09:29
and the couples were holding onto each other
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而伴侶們經過這麼多年
09:31
after all these decades.
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長相廝守。
09:35
My favorite pictures on this trip were of Joe and Roseanne.
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我在這次行程中最喜歡 祖和羅莎娜的照片,
09:39
Now, by the time we met Joe and Roseanne,
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我們跟伴侶們見面時,
09:41
we'd gotten in the habit of asking couples if they had an old wedding photograph.
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習慣問他們有沒有 一張結婚時的舊照片,
09:46
In their case, they simultaneously pulled out of their wallets
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此時,他們不約而同從自己的錢包
09:51
the exact same photograph.
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取出同一樣的照片來。
09:56
What's more beautiful, I thought to myself,
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我心想有什麼美得過
09:59
this image of a young couple who has just fallen in love
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照片裡那對剛墮入愛河的年輕戀人,
10:03
or the idea of these two people holding onto this image for decades?
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或者兩人經過歲月 仍保留這張照片的心意呢?
10:10
Thank you.
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謝謝大家
10:12
(Applause)
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(掌聲)
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