Ramona Pierson: An unexpected place of healing

Prevodilac: Predrag Djordjevic Lektor: Stevan S.

I'm actually going to share something with you

Danas ću sa vama da podelim nešto

I haven't talked about probably in more than 10 years.

o čemu nisam govorila verovatno više od 10 godina.

So bear with me as I take you through this journey.

Ostanite uz mene

dok vas vodim na ovo putovanje.

When I was 22 years old,

Kada sam imala 22 godine,

I came home from work, put a leash on my dog

vratila sam se kući sa posla, stavila povodac svom psu

and went for my usual run.

i otišla na moje uobičajeno trčanje.

I had no idea that at that moment,

U tom trenutku nisam imala pojma

my life was going to change forever.

da će mi se život zauvek izmeniti.

While I was preparing my dog for the run,

Dok sam pripremala svog psa za trčanje,

jedan čovek je završavao svoje piće u jednom baru,

a man was finishing drinking at a bar,

picked up his car keys, got into a car

pokupio je svoje ključeve od automobila, ušao u automobil

and headed south,

i zaputio se južno,

or wherever he was.

ili kuda god da je krenuo.

I was running across the street,

Trčala sam preko ulice,

and the only thing that I actually remember

i jedina stvar koje se zapravo sećam

is feeling like a grenade went off in my head.

je osećaj kao da mi je granata eksplodirala u glavi.

And I remember putting my hands on the ground

Sećam se spuštanja šaka na zemlju,

i osećanja moje životne krvi

and feeling my life's blood

kako napušta moj vrat

emptying out of my neck and my mouth.

i moja usta.

Ono što se desilo

What had happened is, he ran a red light

je da je on prošao na crveno svetlo i zgazio mene i mog psa.

and hit me and my dog.

She ended up underneath the car.

Ona je završila ispod automobila.

Ja sam izletela ispred automobila,

I flew out in front of the car,

and then he ran over my legs.

a onda mi je on pregazio noge.

My left leg got caught up in the wheel well --

Moju levu nogu je uhvatio točak

i vrteo je okolo.

spun it around.

The bumper of the car hit my throat,

Branik automobila je udario u moje grlo

slicing it open.

i isekao ga.

I ended up with blunt chest trauma.

Završila sam sa ugnječenjem grudnog koša.

Your aorta comes up behind your heart, it's your major artery --

Vaša aorta izlazi sa zadnje strane vašeg srca.

To je glavna arterija i bila je prekinuta,

and it was severed, so my blood was gurgling out of my mouth.

tako da mi je krv krkljala kroz usta.

Penila je

It foamed, and ... horrible things were happening to me.

i događale su mi se strašne stvari.

I had no idea what was going on,

Nisam imala pojma šta se dešava,

but strangers intervened,

ali neznanci su se umešali,

koji su održali pomeranja i otkucaje mog srca.

kept my heart moving, beating.

I say "moving," because it was quivering,

Kažem, pomeranja, zato što je zapravo slabašno drhtalo

and they were trying to put a beat back into it.

a oni su pokušali da ga nateraju da ponovo počne da kuca.

Somebody was smart and put a Bic pen in my neck

Neko se setio da mi zabije hemijsku olovku u grlo

da otvori disajne puteve da bi nešto vazduha prodrlo u njih.

to open up my airway, so I could get some air in there.

And my lung collapsed,

Jedno plućno krilo je kolabiralo,

so somebody cut me open and put a pen in there as well,

pa me je neko rasekao i zabio olovku i u njega

to stop that catastrophic event from happening.

da bi sprečio odvijanje tog katastrofalnog događaja.

Somehow I ended up at the hospital.

Nekako sam završila u bolnici.

Bila sam umotana u led

I was wrapped in ice,

and then eventually put into a drug-induced coma.

i konačno stavljena u komu izazvanu lekovima.

Eighteen months later, I woke up.

Probudila sam se 18 meseci kasnije.

I was blind, I couldn't speak

Bila sam slepa, nisam mogla da govorim

and I couldn't walk.

i nisam mogla da hodam.

I was 64 pounds.

Imala sam 29 kilograma.

The hospital really has no idea what to do with people like that.

Bolnice zaista nemaju pojma

šta da rade sa takvim ljudima.

And in fact, they started to call me a "gomer."

Zapravo, poceli su da me zovu Gomer.

That's another story we won't even get into.

To je druga priča u koju neću čak ni da zalazim.

I had so many surgeries to put my neck back together,

Imala sam tako mnogo operacija da bi mi sastavili vrat,

popravili srce nekoliko puta,

to repair my heart a few times.

Some things worked, some things didn't.

Neke stvari su davale rezultate, druge nisu.

I had lots of titanium put in me;

Mnogo su titanijuma stavili u mene,

cadaver bones,

kosti sa leševa,

to try to get my feet moving the right way.

da bi pokušali da osposobe moja stopala za normalne pokrete.

And I ended up with a plastic nose,

Završila sam sa plastičnim nosem, porculanskim zubima

porcelain teeth and all kinds of other things.

i mnogim drugim stvarima.

But eventually, I started to look human again.

Ipak sam na kraju opet počela da ličim na ljudsko biće.

But ...

Međutim, ponekada je teško govoriti o ovim stvarima

It's hard sometimes to talk about these things,

so bear with me.

i zato ostanite sa mnom.

I had more than 50 surgeries.

Imala sam više od 50 operacija.

But who's counting?

Ali ko broji?

(Laughter)

Na kraju je bolnica odlučila

So eventually, the hospital decided it was time for me to go.

da je vreme da odem.

They needed to open up space for somebody else

Trebalo je osloboditi mesto

za nekog drugog za koga su verovali da se može povratiti

that they thought could come back

from whatever they were going through.

iz čega god da je prolazio.

Everybody lost faith in me being able to recover.

Svi su izgubili nadu u moju veru u oporavak.

So they basically put a map up on the wall, threw a dart,

U osnovi su postavili mapu na zid, bacili strelicu

and it landed at a senior home, here in Colorado.

i ona se zabola na domu za stare, ovde u Koloradu.

And I know all of you are scratching your head:

Znam da sada češete glave:

"Dom za stare? Šta ćeš tamo da radiš"?

"A senior citizens' home?

What in the world are you going to do there?"

Ali ako pomislite na sve veštine i talente

But if you think about all of the skills and talent

that are in this room right now,

koji su upravo sada u ovoj prostoriji,

that's what a senior home has.

to je ono što dom za stare ima.

So there were all these skills and talents

Tamo je bilo svih tih veština i talenata

that these seniors had.

koje su stariji imali.

The one advantage they had over most of you

Jedina prednost koju su imali u odnosu na većinu vas

is wisdom,

je mudrost,

because they had a long life.

jer su imali dug život.

And I needed that wisdom at that moment in my life.

U tom trenutku mog života, ta mudrost mi je bila neophodna.

But imagine what it was like for them

Međutim, zamislite kako je bilo njima

when I showed up at their doorstep.

kada sam se pojavila na njihovom pragu?

At that point, I had gained four pounds, so I was 68 pounds.

Do tog trenutka sam dodala 2 kilograma,

tako da sam imala 31 kilogram.

Bila sam ćelava.

I was bald.

Nosila sam bolnički ogrtač.

I was wearing hospital scrubs.

And somebody donated tennis shoes for me.

Neko je za mene donirao teniske patike.

And I had a white cane in one hand

U jednoj ruci sam imala beli štap,

a u drugoj kofer pun medicinskih zapisa.

and a suitcase full of medical records in another hand.

I tako su stariji sugrađani shvatili

So the senior citizens realized

that they needed to have an emergency meeting.

da im je potreban hitan sastanak.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

So they pulled back and they were looking at each other,

Tako su se povukli i gledali jedni u druge

and they were going, "OK, what skills do we have in this room?

i pitali se: "U redu, koje veštine imamo u ovoj sobi?

This kid needs a lot of work."

Ovom detetu je potrebno puno rada."

So they eventually started matching their talents and skills

Konačno su počeli

da upoređuju svoje talente i veštine

to all of my needs.

sa svim mojim potrebama.

But one of the first things they needed to do

Međutim, jedna od prvih stvari koje je trebalo da urade

was assess what I needed right away.

jeste da procene šta mi je odmah bilo neophodno.

I needed to figure out how to eat like a normal human being,

Trebalo je da otkrijem

kako da jedem kao normalno ljudsko biće,

since I'd been eating through a tube in my chest

pošto sam jela kroz cevčicu u mojim grudima

and through my veins.

i kroz moje vene.

So I had to go through trying to eat again.

Ponovo sam morala da prođem kroz pokušaje obedovanja.

And they went through that process.

I oni su prošli kroz taj proces.

And then they had to figure out:

A onda su morali da shvate:

"Well, she needs furniture.

"Pa njoj je neophodan nameštaj.

She is sleeping in the corner of this apartment."

Ona spava u uglu ovog stana."

So they went to their storage lockers

Otišli su do svojih ormara

and all gathered their extra furniture --

i svi su sakupili višak svog nameštaja -

gave me pots and pans, blankets --

dali su mi šerpe i tiganje, ćebad,

sve.

everything.

And then the next thing that I needed

Sledeća stvar koja mi je trebala

je bila promena izgleda.

was a makeover.

(Laughter)

Tako je zelena uniforma odletela napolje,

So out went the green scrubs,

and in came the polyester and floral prints.

a zamenili su je poliester i cvetni dezeni.

(Smeh)

(Laughter)

We're not going to talk about the hairstyles

Nećemo ni da govorimo o frizurama na koje su pokušali da me primoraju,

they tried to force on me once my hair grew back.

jednom kada mi je kosa ponovo izrasla.

But I did say no to the blue hair.

Ali jesam rekla ne plavoj kosi.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

So eventually, what went on is,

Na kraju se desilo

da su odlučili da treba da naučim kako da govorim.

they decided that, well, I need to learn to speak.

You can't be an independent person

Ne možete biti nezavisna osoba

if you're not able to speak and you can't see.

ako ne možete da govorite i da vidite.

So they figured not being able to see is one thing,

Shvatili su da je nemogućnost vida jedna stvar

but they need to get me to talk.

ali trebalo je da me nauče da govorim.

So while Sally, the office manager,

Dok me je Sali, službenica,

was teaching me to speak in the day --

učila da govorim tokom dana -

it's hard, because when you're a kid, you take things for granted.

što je teško, jer kada ste dete,

stvari uzimate zdravo za gotovo.

You learn things unconsciously.

Nesvesno učite stvari.

But for me, I was an adult and it was embarrassing,

Ali za mene, bila sam odrasla i to je bilo sramotno,

a morala sam da naučim kako da koordinišem

and I had to learn how to coordinate my new throat with my tongue

moje novo grlo sa jezikom

and my new teeth and my lips,

i mojim novim zubima i usnama

and capture the air and get the word out.

i kako da uhvatim vazduh i izbacim reč.

So, I acted like a two-year-old,

Ponašala sam se kao dvogodišnjakinja

and refused to work.

i odbijala da radim.

But the men had a better idea.

Ali muškarci su imali bolju ideju.

They were going to make it fun for me.

Hteli su da to učine zabavnim za mene.

So they were teaching me cuss-word Scrabble at night.

Noćima su me učili ukrštenice sa psovkama,

(Smeh)

(Laughter)

a onda, tajno,

And then, secretly, how to swear like a sailor.

kako da psujem kao mornar.

(Laughter)

I'm going to just leave it to your imagination

Ostaviću vašoj mašti

as to what my first words were --

koje su bile moje prve reči

(Laughter)

when Sally finally got my confidence built.

kada mi je Seli konačno povratila samopouzdanje.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

So I moved on from there.

Odatle sam napredovala.

And a former teacher who happened to have Alzheimer's

Nekadašnja učiteljica, koja je igrom slučaja imala Alchajmera,

took on the task of teaching me to write.

preuzela je zadatak da me nauči da pišem.

The redundancy was actually good for me.

Suvišnost je zapravo bila dobra za mene.

So, we'll just keep moving on.

Nastavićemo da idemo dalje.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

One of the pivotal times for me

Jedno od najznačajnijih vremena za mene

was actually learning to cross the street again

bilo je kada sam ponovo učila kako da pređem ulicu,

as a blind person.

kao slepa osoba.

So close your eyes.

Zatvorite vaše oči.

Now imagine you have to cross a street.

Sada zamislite da morate da pređete ulicu.

You don't know how far that street is,

Ne znate koliko je ta ulica daleko,

ne znate da li se krećete po pravoj liniji

and you don't know if you're going straight.

And you hear cars whizzing back and forth,

i čujete automobile kako zuje napred nazad,

and you had a horrible accident

a imali ste užasnu nesreću

that landed you in this situation.

koja vas je i stavila u tu situaciju.

So there were two obstacles I had to get through.

Postojale su dakle dve prepreke sa kojima sam morala da se izborim.

One was post-traumatic stress disorder.

Jedna od njih je bio post-traumatski stres.

Every time I approached the corner or the curb,

Svaki put kada bih se približila uglu ili ivičnjaku,

I would panic.

paničila sam.

And the second one

Druga prepreka je bio

was actually trying to figure out how to cross that street.

pokušaj da shvatim kako da zapravo pređem tu ulicu.

So one of the seniors just came up to me,

Tako je jedna od starica došla do mene,

and she pushed me up to the corner and said,

gurnula me do ugla i rekla:

"Kada misliš da je vreme da kreneš, samo proturi štap ispred.

"When you think it's time to go, just stick the cane out there.

Ako bude udaren, ne prelazi ulicu."

If it's hit, don't cross the street."

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

Made perfect sense.

Imalo je smisla.

(Laughter)

But by the third cane that went whizzing across the road --

Ali do trećeg štapa

koji je fijuknuo preko puta,

(Laughter)

shvatili su da su morali da udruže resurse

they realized that they needed to put their resources together,

i sakupili su dovoljno sredstava

and they raised funds

so that I could go to the Braille Institute

da bih mogla da odem na Brajev Institut

and actually gain the skills to be a blind person,

i da zapravo usvojim veštine

da budem slepa osoba,

i takođe da dobijem psa vodiča

and also to go get a guide dog,

koji je transformisao moj život.

who transformed my life.

Mogla sam da se vratim na koledž,

And I was able to return to college

because of the senior citizens who invested in me,

zbog seniora koji su investirali u mene,

and also the guide dog and skill set I had gained.

i takođe zbog psa vodiča i seta veština koje sam bila usvojila.

Ten years later, I gained my sight back.

10 godina kasnije, povratila sam svoj vid.

Not magically --

Ne magijom.

I opted in for three surgeries,

Odlučila sam se za tri operacije,

and one of them was experimental.

a jedna od njih je bila eksperimentalna.

It was actually robotic surgery

To je zapravo bila robotizovana operacija.

that removed a hematoma from behind my eye.

Uklonili su hematom koji je bio iza mog oka.

The biggest change for me was that the world moved forward,

Najveća promena za mene

bila je ta što je svet napredovao,

that there were innovations and all kinds of new things --

što je bilo inovacija

i svakojakih novih stvari -

cellphones, laptops,

mobilnih telefona, laptopova,

all these things that I had never seen before.

i stvari koje nikada ranije nisam videla.

And as a blind person,

Kao slepa osoba,

your visual memory fades,

vaša vizuelna memorija bledi

and is replaced with how you feel about things

i biva zamenjena time kako se osećate u vezi sa stvarima

i kako stvari zvuče

and how things sound

and how things smell.

i kako mirišu.

So one day, I was in my room

Jednog dana sam bila u svojoj sobi

i videla sam ovu stvar u mojoj sobi

and I saw this thing sitting in my room.

I thought it was a monster,

i pomislila da je to čudovište.

so I was walking around it.

I tako sam hodala oko njega.

And I go, "I'm just going to touch it."

Pomislila sam: "Samo ću da ga dodirnem".

And I touched it and I went,

I dodirnula sam ga i sinulo mi je:

"Oh my God, it's a laundry basket."

"O moj bože, pa to je korpa za veš".

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

Everything is different when you're a sighted person,

Sve je drugačije

kada ste osoba obdarena vidom

because you take that for granted.

zato što to uzimate zdravo za gotovo.

But when you're blind, you have the tactile memory for things.

Međutim, kada ste slepi,

imate taktilna sećanja za stvari.

The biggest change for me was looking down at my hands

Najveća promena za mene je bila kada sam pogledala svoje šake

and seeing that I'd lost 10 years of my life.

i videla da sam izgubila 10 godina svog života.

I thought that time had stood still for some reason

Iz nekog razloga sam mislila da je vreme stajalo,

and moved on for family and friends.

a kretalo se za porodicu i prijatelje.

But when I looked down,

Međutim, kada sam pogledala na dole,

I realized that time marched on for me, too,

shvatila sam da je vreme promarširalo pored mene, takođe

and that I needed to get caught up.

i da je trebalo da ga sustignem,

So I got going on it.

pa sam se bacila na posao.

We didn't have words like "crowdsourcing" and "radical collaboration"

Mi nismo imali reči poput kraudsorsinga i radikalne saradnje

when I had my accident.

kada sam doživela nesreću.

Međutim, koncept se pokazao istinitim -

But the concept held true --

people working with people to rebuild me;

ljudi koji rade sa ljudima da bi me ponovo izgradili;

people working with people to reeducate me.

ljudi koji rade sa ljudima da bi me ponovo obrazovali.

I wouldn't be standing here today

Danas ne bih stajala ovde

if it wasn't for extreme radical collaboration.

da nije bilo ekstremne radikalne saradnje.

Thank you so much.

Hvala vam puno.

(Aplauz)

(Applause)