Ramona Pierson: An unexpected place of healing

譯者: Cooper Ng 審譯者: Wenjer Leuschel

注意：我現在要和大家分享的

I'm actually going to share something with you

是一個我大約十多年來從來不談的故事

I haven't talked about probably in more than 10 years.

因此，請大家多多包涵

So bear with me as I take you through this journey.

讓我帶著各位走完這一程

When I was 22 years old,

我22歲的時候

I came home from work, put a leash on my dog

有一天下了班回家，把狗繫上狗帶

and went for my usual run.

如往常那樣出去跑步

I had no idea that at that moment,

我沒有想到那一刻

my life was going to change forever.

會從此改變了我的一生

While I was preparing my dog for the run,

我正在準備和我的狗一起跑步

有個男人喝了酒從酒吧出來

a man was finishing drinking at a bar,

picked up his car keys, got into a car

拿起他的車鑰匙上了車

然後往南開車

and headed south,

or wherever he was.

沒弄清楚他往哪兒

我當時跑過馬路

I was running across the street,

還能記得的是

and the only thing that I actually remember

覺得好似一顆手榴彈在我頭上炸開

is feeling like a grenade went off in my head.

我記得我的雙手撲地

And I remember putting my hands on the ground

感覺到我的生命之血

and feeling my life's blood

從我的脖子

emptying out of my neck and my mouth.

我的口腔傾盆而出

發生的是

What had happened is, he ran a red light

他闖紅燈撞到我和我的狗

and hit me and my dog.

She ended up underneath the car.

我的狗被壓在車下

我在車前飛了出去

I flew out in front of the car,

and then he ran over my legs.

然後他碾過了我的雙腿

My left leg got caught up in the wheel well --

我的左腿給輪邊纏上了－－

順著車輪捲了起來

spun it around.

保險桿打中我的喉嚨

The bumper of the car hit my throat,

slicing it open.

喉嚨給削開了

I ended up with blunt chest trauma.

結果是我受到胸部鈍傷

Your aorta comes up behind your heart, it's your major artery --

大動脈跑到心臟後面

那是主動脈卻割斷了

and it was severed, so my blood was gurgling out of my mouth.

血液從我的口腔咕嚕嚕流出

化成血泡

It foamed, and ... horrible things were happening to me.

還有些可怕的事發生在我身上

我完全不知道發生了什麼事

I had no idea what was going on,

但有些陌生人介入

but strangers intervened,

讓我的心臟保持運動、跳動，我說運動

kept my heart moving, beating.

I say "moving," because it was quivering,

因為它只在微微顫動

他們嘗試恢復我的心跳

and they were trying to put a beat back into it.

有個人很聰明，用一支筆管插入我的脖子

Somebody was smart and put a Bic pen in my neck

通開呼吸道，讓我還能吸進一點空氣

to open up my airway, so I could get some air in there.

我的肺也垮了

And my lung collapsed,

so somebody cut me open and put a pen in there as well,

有人幫我切開，放了些別針進去支撐

to stop that catastrophic event from happening.

以免造成嚴重災難

Somehow I ended up at the hospital.

不知怎的，我已經躺在醫院裡

全身被包著冰水

I was wrapped in ice,

and then eventually put into a drug-induced coma.

然後被送進藥物誘導的昏迷狀態

18個月後我醒來

Eighteen months later, I woke up.

I was blind, I couldn't speak

眼睛看不見，話也不能說

and I couldn't walk.

我無法走路

I was 64 pounds.

瘦到只剩29公斤

The hospital really has no idea what to do with people like that.

醫院也真的不知道

該如何處理我這樣的人

And in fact, they started to call me a "gomer."

事實上，他們開始叫我「歌篾」(活死人)了

That's another story we won't even get into.

那是另外的故事，我們在這裡不談

I had so many surgeries to put my neck back together,

我動了無數手術才抖正我的脖子

心臟也矯治了好幾次

to repair my heart a few times.

Some things worked, some things didn't.

有些功能正常，有些不正常

我身上放了不少鈦合金

I had lots of titanium put in me;

還有大體捐贈的骨骼

cadaver bones,

to try to get my feet moving the right way.

好讓我的腿能正確移動

And I ended up with a plastic nose,

結果鼻子是塑料，牙齒是搪瓷做的

porcelain teeth and all kinds of other things.

還裝了許多其它東西

But eventually, I started to look human again.

不過，我開始像個人樣

But ...

再談這些往事，真是令人難過

It's hard sometimes to talk about these things,

因此，請大家多多包涵

so bear with me.

I had more than 50 surgeries.

我動過50多次手術

But who's counting?

但是，誰還去算幾次？

(Laughter)

醫院終於做了決定

So eventually, the hospital decided it was time for me to go.

該是要我出院的時候了

They needed to open up space for somebody else

他們得騰出病床給別人

給無論遭遇了什麼

that they thought could come back

from whatever they were going through.

他們還認為有救的人

Everybody lost faith in me being able to recover.

人人對我的康復都沒了信心

基本上，他們像是在牆上掛了地圖，擲飛鏢決定

So they basically put a map up on the wall, threw a dart,

結果我就進了一家科羅拉多州的老人院

and it landed at a senior home, here in Colorado.

And I know all of you are scratching your head:

我知道你們都在搔腦袋：

「送到老人院？你到哪兒幹嘛？」

"A senior citizens' home?

What in the world are you going to do there?"

但是，各位想一想

But if you think about all of the skills and talent

今天在這房間裡所有的技能和才智

that are in this room right now,

都是老人院裡所擁有的

that's what a senior home has.

所有這些技能和才智

So there were all these skills and talents

那些那些老人都有

that these seniors had.

The one advantage they had over most of you

其中他們勝過各位大多數的一個長處

就是智慧

is wisdom,

because they had a long life.

因為他們的人生閱歷長

And I needed that wisdom at that moment in my life.

我那時所需的正是那樣的智慧

各位可以想像當時

But imagine what it was like for them

我出現在他們門前，對他們而言會是怎樣的情況

when I showed up at their doorstep.

那時我胖回了1.8公斤

At that point, I had gained four pounds, so I was 68 pounds.

那就是將近31公斤

光頭

I was bald.

身穿著醫院的寒酸院服

I was wearing hospital scrubs.

腳穿著人家送的網球鞋

And somebody donated tennis shoes for me.

And I had a white cane in one hand

一手持著白色盲人杖

另一手提著滿箱的醫療記錄

and a suitcase full of medical records in another hand.

因此，所有的老人們都知道

So the senior citizens realized

that they needed to have an emergency meeting.

他們需要召開一次緊急會議

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

So they pulled back and they were looking at each other,

他們往後退了一下，對望了一會

and they were going, "OK, what skills do we have in this room?

接著說「好啦，我們這房子裡有什麼辦法？

This kid needs a lot of work."

這孩子有好多要弄。」

So they eventually started matching their talents and skills

他們最後開始

搭配起他們的才智和技能

為我提供所需的一切

to all of my needs.

可是，他們首先要做的是

But one of the first things they needed to do

確定我立即需要的是什麼

was assess what I needed right away.

我當時得學會

I needed to figure out how to eat like a normal human being,

像正常人那樣進食

since I'd been eating through a tube in my chest

因為我一直是用一根穿過胸部的管子

通過靜脈進食的

and through my veins.

So I had to go through trying to eat again.

因此， 我得再重新學習如何進食

And they went through that process.

他們帶著我走過那整個過程

然後他們也發現：

And then they had to figure out:

"Well, she needs furniture.

「啊，她需要家具

She is sleeping in the corner of this apartment."

她現在睡的是公寓的角落。」

So they went to their storage lockers

他們跑到儲物箱

and all gathered their extra furniture --

把多餘的家具湊在一起－－

gave me pots and pans, blankets --

給我水壺、鍋子、毛氈的

所有東西

everything.

And then the next thing that I needed

接下來，我需要的是

添添妝，改改外型

was a makeover.

(Laughter)

寒酸的綠色院服扔掉

So out went the green scrubs,

穿上化學纖維造的花衣

and in came the polyester and floral prints.

（笑聲）

(Laughter)

We're not going to talk about the hairstyles

我還沒說我頭髮長回來時，他們想強迫我

they tried to force on me once my hair grew back.

做的髮型，但是我

確實反對了把頭髮弄成藍色

But I did say no to the blue hair.

（笑聲）

(Laughter)

So eventually, what went on is,

事情還沒完，他們還決定

我得重新學會說話

they decided that, well, I need to learn to speak.

如果不能說話、不能看見

You can't be an independent person

那就無法獨立生活

if you're not able to speak and you can't see.

So they figured not being able to see is one thing,

他們發現要我讓能看見是一回事

but they need to get me to talk.

但他們得先讓我能說話

So while Sally, the office manager,

所以，辦事處主管莎莉

was teaching me to speak in the day --

白天教我說話－－

it's hard, because when you're a kid, you take things for granted.

那可真困難，因為

小時候，樣樣來得自然

You learn things unconsciously.

不知覺中就學會了

But for me, I was an adult and it was embarrassing,

但是我當時已是成人，那有多難堪

我還得學習如何協調

and I had to learn how to coordinate my new throat with my tongue

新的嗓門和舌頭

and my new teeth and my lips,

新的牙齒和嘴唇

and capture the air and get the word out.

學習吸進氣來吐出話

So, I acted like a two-year-old,

所以我就像兩歲小孩那樣

and refused to work.

拒絕服從

但那些人有更好的主意

But the men had a better idea.

They were going to make it fun for me.

他們為了讓我得到樂趣

晚上就教我來「牙言齦語」的拼說遊戲

So they were teaching me cuss-word Scrabble at night.

（笑聲）

(Laughter)

然後又偷偷

And then, secretly, how to swear like a sailor.

教我如何像水手那樣罵人

(Laughter)

這裡，我準備讓各位想像一下

I'm going to just leave it to your imagination

as to what my first words were --

當莎莉終於重建了我的自信後

(Laughter)

when Sally finally got my confidence built.

我首先說出來的是哪些話語

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

So I moved on from there.

我就從那裡繼續前進

And a former teacher who happened to have Alzheimer's

有一位以前當老師的，他罹患了阿茲海默

took on the task of teaching me to write.

擔任教我寫字，這項多餘的學習

The redundancy was actually good for me.

事實上對我幫助不小

So, we'll just keep moving on.

我們繼續向進

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

其中有一個轉捩點

One of the pivotal times for me

was actually learning to cross the street again

就是讓我以一個盲人的身份

as a blind person.

重新學會過馬路

請閉上眼睛，想像一下

So close your eyes.

Now imagine you have to cross a street.

必須那樣過馬路的情況

你不知道馬路有多寬

You don't know how far that street is,

你也不曉得能否筆直橫過

and you don't know if you're going straight.

And you hear cars whizzing back and forth,

你聽到那些車聲颼颼來往

你還有過恐怖的意外

and you had a horrible accident

that landed you in this situation.

讓你落得這步田地

So there were two obstacles I had to get through.

因此，我有兩個難關必須熬過

One was post-traumatic stress disorder.

一是嚴重創傷的後遺症

每次走近街角或是路肩

Every time I approached the corner or the curb,

I would panic.

我會恐慌

And the second one

再是

was actually trying to figure out how to cross that street.

真正嘗試要怎麼橫過馬路

So one of the seniors just came up to me,

有位老人跑上前來

and she pushed me up to the corner and said,

她把我推到街角上，說：

「你覺得可以跨出去的時候，把盲人杖伸出去

"When you think it's time to go, just stick the cane out there.

要是被撞啦，不要過馬路。」

If it's hit, don't cross the street."

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

說得有道理

Made perfect sense.

(Laughter)

不過，用到第三根盲人杖時

But by the third cane that went whizzing across the road --

拐杖颼地飛過了馬路

(Laughter)

這下他們明白了要集中資源

they realized that they needed to put their resources together,

於是他們集資

and they raised funds

so that I could go to the Braille Institute

讓我進了布萊葉學院

and actually gain the skills to be a blind person,

在那兒學得了

盲人的技能

也還取得了一隻導盲犬

and also to go get a guide dog,

牠改變了我的生命

who transformed my life.

後來我能回到大學上課

And I was able to return to college

都是由於這些老人對我的投資

because of the senior citizens who invested in me,

and also the guide dog and skill set I had gained.

以及那隻導盲犬和我所獲得的那些技能

Ten years later, I gained my sight back.

10年後，我重見光明

不是奇蹟

Not magically --

我同意動了三個手術

I opted in for three surgeries,

其中一個是實驗性質的

and one of them was experimental.

實際上是機控手術

It was actually robotic surgery

that removed a hematoma from behind my eye.

他們從我的眼後取出血腫

對我而言

The biggest change for me was that the world moved forward,

變化最大是整個世界往前進

科技創新

that there were innovations and all kinds of new things --

種種新的事物－－

手機、筆記型電腦

cellphones, laptops,

這些東西都是我以前沒見過的

all these things that I had never seen before.

And as a blind person,

作為盲人的時候

your visual memory fades,

你的視覺記憶會減退

會被你對物件的感覺所取代

and is replaced with how you feel about things

物件會發出什麼聲音

and how things sound

物件有什麼氣味

and how things smell.

So one day, I was in my room

有一天，我在房間裡

我看到這麼一個東西

and I saw this thing sitting in my room.

我以為是一頭怪物

I thought it was a monster,

so I was walking around it.

我繞著它走

And I go, "I'm just going to touch it."

我想：我要摸摸它是什麼

And I touched it and I went,

我摸了它，恍然大悟

"Oh my God, it's a laundry basket."

「天吶，那是個洗衣籃。」

(笑聲)

(Laughter)

如果你看得見的話

Everything is different when you're a sighted person,

所有東西都不一樣

因為你認為理所當然

because you take that for granted.

但如果你是盲眼的

But when you're blind, you have the tactile memory for things.

你對東西的記憶是觸覺的

我最大的改變是看著我的雙手

The biggest change for me was looking down at my hands

and seeing that I'd lost 10 years of my life.

看到我的生命失去了10年

I thought that time had stood still for some reason

我想，出於某種緣故，時間靜止了

and moved on for family and friends.

對家人和朋友們而言，時間流逝

But when I looked down,

但當我看下去

I realized that time marched on for me, too,

我明白了，時間也從我身上流逝

and that I needed to get caught up.

我必須追趕

So I got going on it.

我得抓住它

我發生意外時，並沒有「群眾幫忙」和

We didn't have words like "crowdsourcing" and "radical collaboration"

「徹底協作」這些詞眼

when I had my accident.

但概念是真實存在的－－

But the concept held true --

people working with people to rebuild me;

人們協力讓我重生

people working with people to reeducate me.

人們協力讓我重建

我今天不可能站在這裡

I wouldn't be standing here today

若非真有最大程度的「徹底協作」存在的話

if it wasn't for extreme radical collaboration.

Thank you so much.

非常感謝

(Applause)

(鼓掌)