There's more to life than being happy | Emily Esfahani Smith | TED

Prevoditelj: Biljana Ježik Recezent: Sanda L

I used to think

Nekada sam mislila

da je potraga za srećom smisao života.

the whole purpose of life was pursuing happiness.

Everyone said the path to happiness was success,

Svi su govorili da je uspjeh put do sreće,

so I searched for that ideal job,

stoga sam tražila idealan posao,

that perfect boyfriend, that beautiful apartment.

savršenog dečka, predivan stan.

But instead of ever feeling fulfilled,

Ali, umjesto osjećaja ispunjenosti,

I felt anxious and adrift.

osjećala sam se tjeskobno i besciljno.

Nisam bila jedina. I moji su se prijatelji s time borili.

And I wasn't alone; my friends -- they struggled with this, too.

Eventually, I decided to go to graduate school for positive psychology

S vremenom sam odlučila upisati studij pozitivne psihologije,

to learn what truly makes people happy.

kako bih naučila što ljude istinski usrećuje.

But what I discovered there changed my life.

Ali, ono što sam tamo naučila, promijenilo mi je život.

The data showed that chasing happiness can make people unhappy.

Podaci su pokazali da traženje sreće čini ljude nesretnima.

And what really struck me was this:

Ono što me zaista pogodilo je sljedeće:

the suicide rate has been rising around the world,

stopa samoubojstava u svijetu raste,

and it recently reached a 30-year high in America.

a u Americi je stopa sada najviša u proteklih 30 godina.

Even though life is getting objectively better

Iako život objektivno postaje bolji

by nearly every conceivable standard,

prema svakom mogućem standardu,

sve se više ljudi osjeća bespomoćno,

more people feel hopeless,

depressed and alone.

depresivno i usamljeno.

Postoji praznina koja izjeda ljude

There's an emptiness gnawing away at people,

and you don't have to be clinically depressed to feel it.

i ne osjećaju je samo klinički depresivni ljudi.

Sooner or later, I think we all wonder:

Prije ili kasnije, svi se zapitamo:

Is this all there is?

Je li ovo sve što postoji?

And according to the research, what predicts this despair

Prema istraživanju, ono što nagovješta taj očaj

nije nedostatak sreće.

is not a lack of happiness.

To je nedostatak nečeg drugog,

It's a lack of something else,

a lack of having meaning in life.

nedostatak smisla u životu.

But that raised some questions for me.

To me navelo da postavim neka pitanja.

Is there more to life than being happy?

Ima li nešto više u životu od toga da samo budemo sretni?

I koja je razlika između sreće

And what's the difference between being happy

and having meaning in life?

i smislenog života?

Many psychologists define happiness as a state of comfort and ease,

Puno psihologa definira sreću kao stanje ugode i spokoja,

kada se u nekom trenutku osjećamo dobro.

feeling good in the moment.

Meaning, though, is deeper.

Smisao je ipak dublji.

The renowned psychologist Martin Seligman says

Poznati psiholog Martin Seligman navodi

meaning comes from belonging to and serving something beyond yourself

da smisao dolazi od osjećaja pripadnosti i služeći nečem većem od nas samih,

and from developing the best within you.

te kada postanemo najbolja verzija sebe.

Our culture is obsessed with happiness,

Naša je kultura opsjednuta srećom,

but I came to see that seeking meaning is the more fulfilling path.

ali uvidjela sam da je potraga za smislom ono što nas zaista ispunjava.

And the studies show that people who have meaning in life,

Istraživanja su pokazala da su ljudi koji imaju ispunjen život

they're more resilient,

otporniji,

they do better in school and at work,

postižu bolji uspjeh u školovanju i u poslu,

and they even live longer.

čak i duže žive.

So this all made me wonder:

Sve me ovo navelo da se zapitam:

How can we each live more meaningfully?

kako možemo živjeti što ispunjenijim životom?

To find out, I spent five years interviewing hundreds of people

Kako bih na to odgovorila, provela sam pet godina ispitujući stotine ljudi

and reading through thousands of pages of psychology,

i čitajući tisuće stranica iz područja psihologije,

neuroscience and philosophy.

neuroznanosti i filozofije.

Bringing it all together,

Nakon što sam sve sabrala,

I found that there are what I call four pillars of a meaningful life.

spoznala sam da postoje četiri temelja ispunjenog života.

And we can each create lives of meaning

Svatko može izgraditi ispunjen život

by building some or all of these pillars in our lives.

ukoliko primijeni nekoliko ili sve te potrebne temelje u svoj život.

The first pillar is belonging.

Prvi je temelj pripadanje.

Belonging comes from being in relationships

Pripadanje dolazi iz odnosa s drugima,

where you're valued for who you are intrinsically

gdje te cijene zbog toga kakav si iznutra

and where you value others as well.

i gdje ti ujedno cijeniš i druge.

But some groups and relationships deliver a cheap form of belonging;

No, neke grupe i veze cijene pogrešnu vrstu pripadanja:

you're valued for what you believe,

cijene te zbog onoga u što vjeruješ,

for who you hate,

zbog toga koga mrziš,

not for who you are.

a ne zbog tebe samog.

True belonging springs from love.

Istinska pripadnost potječe iz ljubavi.

It lives in moments among individuals,

Ona živi u trenucima među pojedincima,

and it's a choice -- you can choose to cultivate belonging with others.

i to je izbor - možeš izabrati da njeguješ pripadnost s drugima.

Here's an example.

Navest ću primjer.

Each morning, my friend Jonathan buys a newspaper

Svako jutro, moj prijatelj Jonathan kupuje novine

from the same street vendor in New York.

od istog uličnog prodavača u New Yorku.

They don't just conduct a transaction, though.

No, njihov se odnos ne temelji samo na kupovini.

They take a moment to slow down, talk,

Oni zastanu, popričaju

and treat each other like humans.

i međusobno se odnose kao ljudi.

But one time, Jonathan didn't have the right change,

Jednom Jonathan nije imao dovoljno sitnog novca za novine,

and the vendor said,

na što je prodavač rekao:

"Don't worry about it."

"Ne brini se, u redu je."

But Jonathan insisted on paying,

Jonathan je inzistirao da plati,

so he went to the store and bought something he didn't need

stoga je otišao u trgovinu, kupio nešto što nije trebao,

to make change.

kako bi imao sitnog novca.

But when he gave the money to the vendor,

Ali, kada je dao novce prodavaču,

the vendor drew back.

prodavač se povukao.

He was hurt.

To ga je povrijedilo.

He was trying to do something kind,

Pokušao je učiniti dobro djelo,

but Jonathan had rejected him.

ali ga je Jonathan odbacio.

I think we all reject people in small ways like this without realizing it.

Mislim da svi mi odbijamo ljude kroz sitnice, a da ni ne shvaćamo.

I do.

I ja to radim.

I'll walk by someone I know and barely acknowledge them.

Ponekad prođem kraj poznanika, a da ga ni ne primijetim.

I'll check my phone when someone's talking to me.

Znam provjeriti mobitel dok mi netko nešto govori.

These acts devalue others.

Ovakva djela obezvređuju druge.

They make them feel invisible and unworthy.

Zbog toga se drugi osjećaju nevidljivo i manje vrijedno.

But when you lead with love, you create a bond

No, kada djelujete s ljubavlju, tada stvarate vezu

that lifts each of you up.

koja potiče svakog od vas.

For many people, belonging is the most essential source of meaning,

Za mnogo je ljudi pripadanje najznačajniji izvor smisla,

those bonds to family and friends.

osobito veze s obitelji i prijateljima.

For others, the key to meaning is the second pillar: purpose.

Za druge smisao tvori sljedeći temelj: svrha.

Now, finding your purpose is not the same thing

Pronaći svoju svrhu nije isto što i

as finding that job that makes you happy.

pronaći posao koji te usrećuje.

Purpose is less about what you want than about what you give.

Svrha je ono što dajemo, a ne ono što želimo.

A hospital custodian told me her purpose is healing sick people.

Jedna skrbnica u bolnici rekla mi je da je njezina svrha liječiti ljude.

Many parents tell me,

Mnogi mi roditelji govore,

"Moja je svrha odgajati moju djecu."

"My purpose is raising my children."

The key to purpose is using your strengths to serve others.

Do svrhe se dolazi koristeći svoju snagu kako bismo pomogli drugima.

Of course, for many of us, that happens through work.

Naravno, kod mnogih od nas, to se događa kroz posao.

That's how we contribute and feel needed.

To je način našeg doprinosa i tako se osjećamo potrebnima.

But that also means that issues like disengagement at work,

To znači da čak i problemi poput nezainteresiranosti na poslu,

unemployment,

nezaposlenosti,

low labor force participation --

malog udjela aktivno zaposlenih ljudi,

these aren't just economic problems, they're existential ones, too.

nisu samo problemi ekonomije, već i egzistencijalni problemi.

Without something worthwhile to do,

Bez nečega što je vrijedno truda,

people flounder.

ljudi izgube volju.

Of course, you don't have to find purpose at work,

Naravno, ne morate pronaći svoju svrhu na poslu,

but purpose gives you something to live for,

ali svrha nam daje razlog da za nešto živimo,

some "why" that drives you forward.

ono "nešto" što nas gura naprijed.

The third pillar of meaning is also about stepping beyond yourself,

Treći temelj ispunjenog života također je uzdići se iznad sebe samoga,

but in a completely different way:

ali u potpuno drugačijem smislu:

transcendence.

uzvišenost.

Transcendent states are those rare moments

Stanje uzvišenosti tvore oni rijetki trenuci

when you're lifted above the hustle and bustle of daily life,

kada se uzdignemo iznad svakodnevne zbrke i strke,

your sense of self fades away,

kada izblijedi svijest o sebi

and you feel connected to a higher reality.

i kada se osjećamo povezani s višom realnošću.

For one person I talked to, transcendence came from seeing art.

Za nekoga stanje uzvišenosti javlja se dok promatra umjetničko djelo.

For another person, it was at church.

Drugi to dožive u crkvi.

For me, I'm a writer, and it happens through writing.

S druge strane, ja kao pisac to doživljavam kroz pisanje.

Sometimes I get so in the zone that I lose all sense of time and place.

Ponekad se toliko udubim, da izgubim pojam o vremenu i prostoru.

These transcendent experiences can change you.

Ova vas iskustva uzvišenosti mogu promijeniti.

One study had students look up at 200-feet-tall eucalyptus trees

U jednom su istraživanju studenti trebali gledati u stabla visoka 60 metara

for one minute.

cijelu minutu.

But afterwards they felt less self-centered,

Nakon toga nisu bili toliko egoistični,

and they even behaved more generously

čak su pokazali i velikodušnost

when given the chance to help someone.

kada im je dana prilika da pomognu nekome.

Belonging, purpose, transcendence.

Pripadanje, svrha, uzvišenost.

Now, the fourth pillar of meaning, I've found,

Četvrti temelj ispunjenog života koji sam ustanovila

tends to surprise people.

često iznenađuje ljude.

The fourth pillar is storytelling,

Četvrti je temelj pripovijedanje,

the story you tell yourself about yourself.

priče koje pričate sebi o sebi samima.

Creating a narrative from the events of your life brings clarity.

Stvaranje priče iz događaja u vašem životu daje jasnoću.

It helps you understand how you became you.

Ono vam pomaže shvatiti kako ste vi postali vi.

But we don't always realize that we're the authors of our stories

No, često ne razumijemo da smo mi pisci naših priča

and can change the way we're telling them.

i da možemo promijeniti način pripovijedanja.

Your life isn't just a list of events.

Vaš život nije samo lista događaja.

You can edit, interpret and retell your story,

Vašu priču možete sami urediti, protumačiti i prepričati,

even as you're constrained by the facts.

čak i kada ste ograničeni činjenicama.

I met a young man named Emeka, who'd been paralyzed playing football.

Upoznala sam mladića Emeku, koji je ostao paraliziran dok je igrao nogomet.

After his injury, Emeka told himself,

Nakon ozljede, Emeka si je rekao:

"My life was great playing football,

"Moj je život bio dobar dok sam igrao nogomet,

but now look at me."

a pogledajte me sada."

People who tell stories like this --

Ljudi koji pričaju priče poput:

"Moj je život bio dobar. Sad je loš.",

"My life was good. Now it's bad." --

tend to be more anxious and depressed.

tjeskobniji su i depresivniji.

And that was Emeka for a while.

Takav je jednom bio i Emeka.

But with time, he started to weave a different story.

Ali, s vremenom počeo je tkati drugačiju priču.

His new story was,

Njegova je nova priča glasila,

"Before my injury, my life was purposeless.

"Prije moje ozljede, moj je život bio besciljan.

I partied a lot and was a pretty selfish guy.

Puno sam tulumario i bio sam poprilično sebičan tip.

But my injury made me realize I could be a better man."

No, ozljeda me natjerala da shvatim da mogu biti bolji čovjek."

That edit to his story changed Emeka's life.

Ta izmjena njegove priče, promijenila je Emekov život.

After telling the new story to himself,

Nakon što je sebi pričao novu priču,

Emeka started mentoring kids,

Emeka je postao mentor djeci

and he discovered what his purpose was:

i otkrio je svoju svrhu:

serving others.

pomagati drugima.

The psychologist Dan McAdams calls this a "redemptive story,"

Psiholog Dan McAdams nazvao je to "pričom o iskupljenju",

where the bad is redeemed by the good.

onu gdje je dobro iskupilo zlo.

People leading meaningful lives, he's found,

On navodi da ljudi koji žive ispunjenim životom

tend to tell stories about their lives

pričaju svoje životne priče

defined by redemption, growth and love.

protkane iskupljenjem, rastom i ljubavlju.

But what makes people change their stories?

Ali zbog čega ljudi mijenjaju priče?

Some people get help from a therapist,

Neki ljudi traže pomoć terapeuta,

but you can do it on your own, too,

ali to možete učiniti i sami,

promišljajući o svome životu,

just by reflecting on your life thoughtfully,

kako su vas iskustva definirala kao osobu,

how your defining experiences shaped you,

what you lost, what you gained.

što ste izgubili, a što dobili.

That's what Emeka did.

Isto je učinio i Emeka.

You won't change your story overnight;

Priču ne možete promijeniti preko noći,

it could take years and be painful.

ponekad su potrebne godine i često postane bolno.

After all, we've all suffered, and we all struggle.

Na kraju krajeva, svi smo patili i svi se borimo.

But embracing those painful memories can lead to new insights and wisdom,

Ali, prihvaćanje tih teških sjećanja može vas dovesti do novih spoznaja i mudrosti,

to finding that good that sustains you.

da pronađete ono dobro u vama.

Belonging, purpose, transcendence, storytelling:

Pripadanje, svrha, uzvišenje, pripovijedanje,

those are the four pillars of meaning.

to su četiri temelja ispunjenog života.

When I was younger,

Kad sam bila mlađa,

I was lucky enough to be surrounded by all of the pillars.

imala sam sreću da budem okružena svim tim temeljima.

Moji su roditelji vodili kuću susreta za sufije u Montrealu.

My parents ran a Sufi meetinghouse from our home in Montreal.

Sufism is a spiritual practice associated with the whirling dervishes

Sufizam je vrsta duhovne vježbe povezana s dervišima koji se vrte

and the poet Rumi.

i pjesnikom Rumijem.

Dva puta tjedno, sufiji bi došli k nama

Twice a week, Sufis would come to our home

to meditate, drink Persian tea, and share stories.

meditirati, piti perzijski čaj i dijeliti svoje priče.

Their practice also involved serving all of creation

Taj je običaj podrazumijevao i pomaganje drugima

through small acts of love,

kroz male znakove pažnje,

which meant being kind even when people wronged you.

odnosno pokazati dobrotu i kada te ljudi povrijede.

But it gave them a purpose: to rein in the ego.

Ali, to im je dalo svrhu: obuzdati svoj ego.

Eventually, I left home for college

Kada sam otišla na fakultet

and without the daily grounding of Sufism in my life,

i bez svakodnevnog prakticiranja sufizma,

osjećala sam se nesigurno.

I felt unmoored.

And I started searching for those things that make life worth living.

Počela sam tražiti nešto za što je vrijedilo živjeti.

That's what set me on this journey.

Radi toga sam i krenula na ovaj put.

Looking back, I now realize

Gledajući unazad, sada mi je jasno

that the Sufi house had a real culture of meaning.

da je kuća susreta sufija zapravo bila vrsta kulture smisla.

The pillars were part of the architecture,

Temelji su bili dio arhitekture

and the presence of the pillars helped us all live more deeply.

i prisutnost temelja pomogla nam je živjeti dubljim životom.

Of course, the same principle applies

Naravno, isti se princip primjenjuje

in other strong communities as well --

i u drugim jakim zajednicama,

good ones and bad ones.

u dobrim i lošim.

Gangs, cults:

Bande, kultovi,

these are cultures of meaning that use the pillars

to su kulture smisla koje počivaju na temeljima

and give people something to live and die for.

i ljudima daju nešto za što će živjeti i umrijeti.

But that's exactly why we as a society

Ali, upravo to je razlog zbog čega mi, kao društvo,

must offer better alternatives.

moramo ponuditi bolja rješenja.

We need to build these pillars within our families and our institutions

Trebamo izgraditi temelje u svojim obiteljima i institucijama,

to help people become their best selves.

kako bismo pomogli drugima da postanu najbolja verzija sebe.

But living a meaningful life takes work.

Ali za ispunjen život potrebno je raditi na tome.

It's an ongoing process.

To je trajan proces.

As each day goes by, we're constantly creating our lives,

Svakim danom neprestano stvaramo naše živote,

adding to our story.

nastavljamo svoju priču.

And sometimes we can get off track.

Ponekad čak i skrenemo s puta.

Whenever that happens to me,

Kad god mi se to dogodi,

I remember a powerful experience I had with my father.

sjetim se značajnog iskustva sa svojim ocem.

Several months after I graduated from college,

Nekoliko mjeseci nakon što sam diplomirala,

my dad had a massive heart attack that should have killed him.

moj je otac doživio snažan srčani udar koji ga je skoro ubio.

He survived, and when I asked him what was going through his mind

Preživio je, i kada sam ga pitala o čemu je razmišljao

as he faced death,

dok se suočavao sa smrću,

he said all he could think about was needing to live

rekao je da je samo mislio kako mora nastaviti živjeti,

so he could be there for my brother and me,

kako bi mogao biti uz mojeg brata i mene,

and this gave him the will to fight for life.

i to mu je dalo snagu da se nastavi boriti.

When he went under anesthesia for emergency surgery,

Kada je primio anesteziju za hitnu operaciju,

instead of counting backwards from 10,

umjesto odbrojavanja od 10 unazad,

he repeated our names like a mantra.

ponavljao je naša imena poput mantre.

He wanted our names to be the last words he spoke on earth

Htio je da naša imena budu njegove posljednje riječi na zemlji,

if he died.

u slučaju smrti.

My dad is a carpenter and a Sufi.

Moj je otac stolar i sufi.

It's a humble life,

To je skroman život,

but a good life.

ali dobar život.

Lying there facing death, he had a reason to live:

Dok se suočavao sa smrću, imao je razloga živjeti:

love.

imao je ljubav.

His sense of belonging within his family,

Njegov osjećaj pripadanja u obitelji,

his purpose as a dad,

svrha njega kao oca,

his transcendent meditation, repeating our names --

njegova uzvišena meditacija dok je ponavljao naša imena,

rekao je da su to razlozi zbog kojih je preživio.

these, he says, are the reasons why he survived.

That's the story he tells himself.

To je priča koju on govori sebi.

That's the power of meaning.

To je moć smisla.

Happiness comes and goes.

Sreća dolazi i odlazi.

But when life is really good

Ali kad je život zaista dobar

i kada sve izgleda loše,

and when things are really bad,

smisao je ono što nas gura naprijed.

having meaning gives you something to hold on to.

Hvala.

Thank you.

(Applause)

(Pljesak)