The brain in love | Helen Fisher

Prevoditelj: Romana Perković Recezent: Stipe Drmić

I and my colleagues Art Aron and Lucy Brown and others,

Moje kolege Art Aron, Lucy Brown, ja i ostali,

have put 37 people who are madly in love into a functional MRI brain scanner.

stavili smo 37 ljudi koji su ludo zaljubljeni

u funkcionalnu magnetsku rezonancu.

17 who were happily in love, 15 who had just been dumped,

17 njih je bilo sretno zaljubljeno, 15 ih je upravo ostavljeno,

i tek počinjemo naš treći eksperiment:

and we're just starting our third experiment:

studying people who report that they're still in love

proučavanjem ljudi koji su izjavili da su još uvijek zaljubljeni

nakon 10 do 25 godina braka.

after 10 to 25 years of marriage.

So, this is the short story of that research.

Reći ću nešto ukratko o tom istraživanju.

U džunglama Gvatemale, u Tikalu, stoji hram.

In the jungles of Guatemala, in Tikal, stands a temple.

It was built by the grandest Sun King, of the grandest city-state,

Sagradio ga je najznačajniji kralj Sunca

najznačajnijeg grada-države,

of the grandest civilization of the Americas, the Mayas.

najznačajnije američke civilizacije – Maya.

Njegovo ime bilo je Jasaw Chan K’awiil.

His name was Jasaw Chan K'awiil.

He stood over six feet tall.

Bio je 180 cm visok.

Živio je 80 godina,

He lived into his 80s,

i pokopan je u podnožju spomenika 720g. prije Krista.

and he was buried beneath this monument in 720 AD.

And Mayan inscriptions proclaim that he was deeply in love with his wife.

Natpisi Maya tvrde

da je on bio jako zaljubljen u svoju ženu.

Izgradio je hram u njenu čast, nasuprot svom.

So, he built a temple in her honor, facing his.

And every spring and autumn, exactly at the equinox,

Svakog proljeća i jeseni, točno na ravnodnevnicu,

sunce se uzdiže iza njegovog hrama

the sun rises behind his temple,

and perfectly bathes her temple with his shadow.

i savršeno baca njegovu sjenu na njezin hram.

And as the sun sets behind her temple in the afternoon,

A kada sunce popodne zalazi iza njenog hrama,

it perfectly bathes his temple with her shadow.

i savršeno baca njenu sjenu na njegov hram.

Nakon 1300 godina, ovo dvoje ljubavnika

After 1,300 years, these two lovers still touch and kiss from their tomb.

još uvijek se dodiruju i ljube iz svojih grobnica.

Svuda u svijetu ljudi vole.

Around the world, people love.

Pjevaju za ljubav, plešu za ljubav,

They sing for love, they dance for love,

they compose poems and stories about love.

pišu pjesme i priče o ljubavi.

They tell myths and legends about love.

Pričaju mitove i legende o ljubavi.

Žude za ljubavi, žive za ljubav,

They pine for love, they live for love, they kill for love, and they die for love.

ubijaju za ljubav i umiru za ljubav.

Kao što je Walt Whitman jednom rekao,

As Walt Whitman once said, "O I would stake all for you."

“Oh, sve bih stavio na kocku zbog tebe.”

Antropolozi su pronašli dokaze o romantičnoj ljubavi u 170 zajednica.

Anthropologists have found evidence of romantic love in 170 societies.

They've never found a society that did not have it.

Nisu pronašli nijednu zajednicu bez ljubavi.

Ali ljubav nije uvijek sretno iskustvo.

But love isn't always a happy experience.

U jednoj studiji su studentima

In one study of college students, they asked a lot of questions about love,

postavili puno pitanja o ljubavi,

ali dva su se najviše isticala

but the two that stood out to me the most were:

“Jeste li ikada bili odbijeni od nekoga koga ste jako voljeli?”

"Have you ever been rejected by somebody who you really loved?"

And the second question was:

I drugo pitanje je bilo,

“Jeste li ikada ostavili nekoga tko je jako volio vas?”

"Have you ever dumped somebody who really loved you?"

And almost 95 percent of both men and women said yes to both.

Skoro 95 posto muškaraca i žena je potvrdno odgovorilo na oba pitanja.

Skoro nitko se ne izvuče živ iz ljubavi.

Almost nobody gets out of love alive.

So, before I start telling you about the brain,

Prije nego vam počnem pričati o mozgu.

Želim vam pročitati

I want to read for you

what I think is the most powerful love poem on Earth.

nešto što mislim da je najsnažnija ljubavna pjesma na Zemlji.

There's other love poems that are, of course, just as good,

Postoje mnoge druge pjesme koje su, također, jako dobre,

ali mislim da se ovu ne može nadmašiti.

but I don't think this one can be surpassed.

Izrekao ju je anonimni Kwakutl Indijanac južne Aljaske

It was told by an anonymous Kwakiutl Indian of southern Alaska

to a missionary in 1896.

misionaru 1896., i evo je.

And here it is.

Nisam još nikada imala priliku izgovoriti je.

I've never had the opportunity to say it before.

"Fire runs through my body with the pain of loving you.

"Žar prolazi kroz moje tijelo, uz bol moje ljubavi prema tebi.

Bol mi prolazi kroz tijelo, uz žar moje ljubavi prema tebi.

Pain runs through my body with the fires of my love for you.

Pain like a boil about to burst with my love for you,

Bol koja će eksplodirati od ljubavi prema tebi,

prožeta žarom moje ljubavi za tebe.

consumed by fire with my love for you.

I remember what you said to me.

Sjećam se što si mi rekla.

Mislim o tvojoj ljubavi prema meni.

I am thinking of your love for me.

Rastrgan sam od tvoje ljubavi.

I am torn by your love for me.

Bol i još više boli,

Pain and more pain --

where are you going with my love?

gdje ideš s mojom ljubavi?

Rečeno mi je da ćeš otići odavde.

I am told you will go from here.

I am told you will leave me here.

Rečeno mi je da ćeš me ostaviti ovdje.

Moje tijelo je umrtvljeno tugom.

My body is numb with grief.

Zapamti što sam ti rekao, moja ljubavi.

Remember what I said, my love.

Zbogom, moja ljubavi, zbogom."

Goodbye, my love, goodbye."

Emily Dickinson once wrote, "Parting is all we need to know of hell."

Emily Dickinson je jednom napisala,

"Oproštaj je jedino što moramo znati o paklu."

Koliko ljudi je patilo

How many people have suffered

u milijunima godina ljudske evolucije?

in all the millions of years of human evolution?

How many people around the world

Koliko ljudi u svijetu

u zanosu pleše baš ove minute?

are dancing with elation at this very minute?

Romantic love is one of the most powerful sensations on Earth.

Romantična ljubav je jedan od najsnažnijih osjećaja na Zemlji.

Prije nekoliko godina, odlučila sam pogledati u mozak

So, several years ago, I decided to look into the brain

i proučiti ovo ludilo.

and study this madness.

Our first study of people who were happily in love

Naše prvo istraživanje o ljudima koji su sretno zaljubljeni

has been widely publicized,

je svuda objavljivano,

so I'm only going to say very little about it.

pa ću reći samo nešto kratko o tome.

We found activity in a tiny, little factory near the base of the brain

Našli smo aktivnost u maloj tvornici pokraj baze mozga

called the ventral tegmental area.

poznatoj kao ventralni tegmentum.

We found activity in some cells called the A10 cells,

Našli smo aktivnosti u stanicama koje se zovu ApEn stanice.

cells that actually make dopamine, a natural stimulant,

Stanice koje proizvode dopamin, prirodni stimulans,

and spray it to many brain regions.

i raspršuju ga po mnogim regijama mozga.

Uistinu, ovaj dio, VTA, dio je sustava nagrade mozga.

Indeed, this part, the VTA, is part of the brain's reward system.

To je duboko ispod vašeg procesa kognitivnog mišljenja.

It's way below your cognitive thinking process.

It's below your emotions.

To je ispod emocija.

It's part of what we call the reptilian core of the brain,

To je dio kojeg nazivamo reptilski mozak,

associated with wanting, with motivation, with focus and with craving.

povezan sa željom, s motivacijom,

s fokusom i žudnjom.

In fact, the same brain region where we found activity

Ustvari, ista regija u kojoj smo pronašli aktivnost

postaje aktivna i kada osjetite navalu kokaina.

becomes active also when you feel the rush of cocaine.

But romantic love is much more than a cocaine high --

Ali romantična ljubav je mnogo više od kokaina --

at least you come down from cocaine.

kokain barem popusti.

Romantic love is an obsession, it possesses you.

Romantična ljubav je opsesija. Posjeduje vas.

You lose your sense of self.

Izgubite osjećaj sebe.

Ne možete prestati misliti na drugo ljudsko biće.

You can't stop thinking about another human being.

Somebody is camping in your head.

Netko kampira u vašoj glavi.

Kao što je u osmom stoljeću rekao japanski pjesnik,

As an eighth-century Japanese poet said, "My longing had no time when it ceases."

“Moja čežnja nema vremena kada prestane.”

Ljubav je divlja.

Wild is love.

I opsesija se može pogoršati ako ste odbijeni.

And the obsession can get worse when you've been rejected.

Trenutno, Lucy Brown i ja, neuroznanstvenici na našem projektu,

So, right now, Lucy Brown and I, the neuroscientists on our project,

gledamo podatke ljudi

are looking at the data of the people

koji su stavljeni u stroj nakon što su bili ostavljeni.

who were put into the machine after they had just been dumped.

It was very difficult actually, putting these people in the machine,

Zapravo, bilo je jako teško

staviti te ljude u stroj,

because they were in such bad shape.

jer su bili u jako lošem stanju.

(smijeh)

(Laughter)

So anyway, we found activity in three brain regions.

No, mi smo našli aktivnost u tri regije mozga.

We found activity in the brain region,

Našli smo aktivnost u regiji mozga

in exactly the same brain region associated with intense romantic love.

istoj onoj regiji mozga

povezanom sa snažnom romantičnom ljubavi.

To je strašno.

What a bad deal.

You know, when you've been dumped,

Znate, kada ste ostavljeni,

the one thing you love to do is just forget about this human being,

jedino što želite je zaboraviti na tog čovjeka,

i nastaviti sa svojim životom,

and then go on with your life -- but no, you just love them harder.

ali ne, volite ga još više.

kao što je Terence, rimski pjesnik, jednom rekao,

As the poet Terence, the Roman poet once said,

he said, "The less my hope, the hotter my love."

"Što mi je manja nada, ljubav mi je vrelija."

Uistinu, sada znamo i zašto.

And indeed, we now know why.

Two thousand years later, we can explain this in the brain.

2000 godina poslije, možemo to objasniti u mozgu.

Taj sustav mozga, sustav nagrade

That brain system -- the reward system

for wanting, for motivation, for craving, for focus --

za želju, motivaciju, žudnju, fokus,

becomes more active when you can't get what you want.

postaje aktivniji kada ne možete dobiti što želite.

In this case, life's greatest prize: an appropriate mating partner.

U ovom slučaju, najveća životna nagrada:

prikladan partner za razmnožavanje.

We found activity in other brain regions also --

Našli smo aktivnost i u ostalim regijama mozga –

u regiji mozga povezanoj sa računanjem dobitaka i gubitaka.

in a brain region associated with calculating gains and losses.

Znate, ležite tamo, gledate sliku,

You're lying there, you're looking at the picture,

u tom ste stroju,

and you're in this machine,

i računate što je to pošlo krivo?

and you're calculating what went wrong.

What have I lost?

Kako, što sam izgubio?

As a matter of fact, Lucy and I have a little joke about this.

Zapravo, Lucy i ja imamo jednu šalu na taj račun.

Dolazi iz predstave Davida Mameta.

It comes from a David Mamet play,

and there's two con artists in the play,

Tamo su dva glumca varalice,

žena prevari muškarca,

and the woman is conning the man,

and the man looks at the woman and says,

a muškarac pogleda ženu i kaže

“Ti si jedan zločesti poni, neću se kladiti na tebe.”

"Oh, you're a bad pony, I'm not going to bet on you."

And indeed, it's this part of the brain,

Zaista, ovaj dio mozga,

srž nucleus accumbensa, postaje aktivna

the core of the nucleus accumbens,

that is becoming active as you're measuring your gains and losses.

kada mjerimo dobitke i gubitke.

To je i regija mozga koja postaje aktivna

It's also the brain region that becomes active

kada ste spremni preuzeti ogromne rizike

when you're willing to take enormous risks for huge gains and huge losses.

za veliku dobit ili velike gubitke.

Last but not least, we found activity in a brain region

Posljednje, ali ne i najmanje važno, našli smo aktivnost u regiji mozga

povezanoj s dubokom privrženostii drugoj osobi.

associated with deep attachment to another individual.

No wonder people suffer around the world, and we have so many crimes of passion.

Nije čudo da ljudi pate u cijelom svijetu

i da imamo toliko puno zločina iz strasti.

When you've been rejected in love,

Kada ste odbijeni u ljubavi,

ne samo da ste prožeti osjećajima romantične ljubavi,

not only are you engulfed with feelings of romantic love,

nego i osjećate duboku privrženost toj osobi.

but you're feeling deep attachment to this individual.

Moreover, this brain circuit for reward is working,

Štoviše, ovaj moždani sklop za nagradu radi

i osjećate silnu energiju, silan fokus,

and you're feeling intense energy, intense focus, intense motivation

jaku motivaciju i želju da riskirate sve

and the willingness to risk it all, to win life's greatest prize.

kako biste dobili najveću životnu nagradu.

So, what have I learned from this experiment

Što sam naučila iz ovog eksperimenta,

that I would like to tell the world?

a htjela bih reći svijetu?

Foremost, I have come to think

Prvo, mislim da je romantična ljubav nagon,

that romantic love is a drive, a basic mating drive.

osnovni nagon razmnožavanja.

Ne seksualni nagon – seksualni nagon vas tjera

Not the sex drive --

the sex drive gets you looking for a whole range of partners.

da tražite široki raspon partnera.

Romantična ljubav omogućuje vam da usmjerite vašu energiju razmnožavanja

Romantic love enables you to focus your mating energy

on just one at a time, conserve your mating energy,

na samog jednog partnera istovremeno, da sačuvate energiju razmnožavanja

and start the mating process with this single individual.

i započnete proces razmnožavanja sa samo jednom osobom.

Svu poeziju o romantičnoj ljubavi koju sam pročitala

I think of all the poetry that I've read about romantic love,

najviše sažimlje ono što je Platon rekao

what sums it up best is something that is said by Plato

over 2,000 years ago.

prije 2000 godina.

Rekao je “Bog ljubavi živi u stanju potrebe.

He said, "The god of love lives in a state of need.

To je potreba. To je nagon.

It is a need, it is an urge, it is a homeostatic imbalance.

To je homeostatska neravnoteža.

Like hunger and thirst, it's almost impossible to stamp out."

Kao glad ili žeđ, nemoguće ju je suzbiti.”

Došla sam do zaključka da je romantična ljubav ovisnost:

I've also come to believe that romantic love is an addiction:

a perfectly wonderful addiction when it's going well,

savršeno lijepa ovisnost ako sve dobro ide

i savršeno užasna ovisnost ako ne ide dobro.

and a perfectly horrible addiction when it's going poorly.

And indeed, it has all of the characteristics of addiction.

Uistinu, ima sve karakteristike ovisnosti.

You focus on the person, you obsessively think about them,

Fokusirate se na osobu, opsesivno mislite o njoj,

you crave them, you distort reality,

žudite za njom, izobličite stvarnost.

your willingness to take enormous risks to win this person.

Spremni ste preuzeti ogromne rizike da osvojite tu osobu.

And it's got the three main characteristics of addiction:

Postoje tri glavne karakteristike ovisnosti.

Tolerancija – morate ih viđati više, i više, i više –

tolerance, you need to see them more, and more, and more;

withdrawals;

kriza sustezanja, i na kraju, relaps.

and last: relapse.

Imam prijateljicu koja upravo pokušava preboljeti užasnu ljubavnu vezu,

I've got a girlfriend who's just getting over a terrible love affair.

It's been about eight months, she's beginning to feel better.

prošlo je osam mjeseci, počinje se bolje osjećati.

Vozila je auto neki dan,

And she was driving along in her car the other day,

i odjednom je začula pjesmu na radiju

and suddenly she heard a song on the car radio

koja ju je podsjetila na tog čovjeka.

that reminded her of this man.

Not only did the instant craving come back,

Ne samo da se žudnja odmah vratila,

but she had to pull over from the side of the road and cry.

nego je morala zaustaviti auto

pokraj ceste i zaplakati.

So, one thing I would like the medical community,

Jednu stvar bi htjela da medicinska zajednica,

pravna zajednica i studentska zajednica

and the legal community, and even the college community,

to see if they can understand, that indeed, romantic love

pokušaju shvatiti, a to je,

romantična ljubav je jedna od najovisnijih tvari na Zemlji.

is one of the most addictive substances on Earth.

I would also like to tell the world that animals love.

Htjela bi također reći svijetu da životinje isto vole.

There's not an animal on this planet

Nema životinje na svijetu koja će

imati snošaj sa svime što dođe.

that will copulate with anything that comes along.

Prestaro, premlado, previše prljavo, preglupo, i s njima neće.

Too old, too young, too scruffy, too stupid, and they won't do it.

Unless you're stuck in a laboratory cage --

Osim ako ih stavite u laboratorijski kavez –

and you know, if you spend your entire life in a little box,

znate, ako proživite cijeli život u kutijici,

nećete biti baš tako izbirljivi oko toga s kim se parite –

you're not going to be as picky about who you have sex with,

but I've looked in a hundred species,

ali pogledala sam stotine vrsta

i svagdje u divljini životinje imaju favorite.

and everywhere in the wild, animals have favorites.

As a matter of fact, ethologists know this.

Etolozi to znaju.

There are over eight words for what they call "animal favoritism:"

Postoji preko osam riječi kojima oni nazivaju životinjsku pristranost:

selective proceptivity, mate choice, female choice, sexual choice.

selektivna interakcija, izbor parnjaka, ženski izbor, spolni izbor.

And indeed, there are now three academic articles

Uistinu, postoje tri akademska članka

in which they've looked at this attraction,

u kojima su promatrane te privlačnosti,

which may only last for a second,

koje mogu trajati samo sekundu,

but it's a definite attraction,

ali to je nedvosmislena privlačnost,

ili je ista regija mozga, ovaj sustav nagrade,

and either this same brain region, this reward system,

or the chemicals of that reward system are involved.

ili su kemijski proizvodi tog sustava nagrade uključeni.

In fact, I think animal attraction can be instant --

Zapravo, mislim da životinjska privlačnost može biti trenutna –

you can see an elephant instantly go for another elephant.

možete vidjeti kako slon odmah krene za drugim slonom.

And I think that this is really the origin

Mislim da je to podrijetlo

of what you and I call "love at first sight."

onoga što vi i ja zovemo "ljubav na prvi pogled."

Ljudi me često pitaju

People have often asked me

whether what I know about love has spoiled it for me.

je li mi pokvarilo ljubav to sve što znam o njoj.

And I just simply say, "Hardly."

Ja im jednostavno kažem – jedva.

You can know every single ingredient in a piece of chocolate cake,

Možete znati svaki sastojak u komadiću čokoladne torte,

ali kada sjednete i počnete ju jesti,

and then when you sit down and eat that cake,

you can still feel that joy.

još uvijek možete osjetiti radost.

And certainly, I make all the same mistakes that everybody else does too,

Ja isto radim iste pogreške

kao što svi ostali rade,

but it's really deepened my understanding

ali to je produbilo moje razumijevanje

and compassion, really, for all human life.

i suosjećanje za ljudski život.

As a matter of fact, in New York, I often catch myself

Zapravo, u New Yorku, često se uhvatim

looking in baby carriages and feeling a little sorry for the tot.

kako gledam u dječja kolica i bude mi žao tog mališana.

And in fact, sometimes I feel a little sorry

Zapravo nekada mi bude malo žao i

for the chicken on my dinner plate,

pileta na mom tanjuru,

kada razmislim kako je intenzivan ovaj moždani sustav.

when I think of how intense this brain system is.

Our newest experiment has been hatched

Naš najnoviji eksperiment je izveo

by my colleague, Art Aron --

moj kolega, Art Aron,

putting people who are reporting that they are still in love,

stavio je ljude koji su rekli da su još uvijek zaljubljeni,

u dugoročnim vezama, u funkcionalnu magnetsku rezonancu.

in a long-term relationship, into the functional MRI.

We've put five people in so far,

Stavili smo do sada 5 ljudi

and indeed, we found exactly the same thing.

i uistinu našli smo jednaku stvar. Ne lažu.

They're not lying.

The brain areas associated with intense romantic love

Moždane regije

povezane sa silnom romantičnom ljubavi

still become active, 25 years later.

još uvijek su aktivne, 25 godina poslije.

There are still many questions to be answered

Postoji još puno pitanja koja moraju biti odgovorena

and asked about romantic love.

i pitana o romantičnoj ljubavi.

The question that I'm working on right this minute --

Pitanje na kojem trenutno radim,

izreći ću ga na sekundu i zatim završiti,

and I'm only going to say it for a second, and then end --

je zašto se zaljubljujete u jednu osobu, a ne u drugu?

is, why do you fall in love with one person, rather than another?

I never would have even thought to think of this,

Ne bih ni na trenutak to pomislila,

but Match.com, the Internet dating site,

ali Match.com, internetski portal za sparivanje ljudi,

came to me three years ago and asked me that question.

došao mi je prije tri godine i pitao me to pitanje.

Rekla sam da ne znam.

And I said, I don't know.

I know what happens in the brain, when you do become in love,

Znam što se događa u mozgu kada se već zaljubite,

but I don't know why you fall in love with one person rather than another.

ali ne znam zašto se zaljubljujete u jednu osobu,

a ne u drugu.

Tako sam provela posljednje tri godine radeći na tome.

And so, I've spent the last three years on this.

And there are many reasons that you fall in love with one person

Postoji mnogo razloga zašto se zaljubljujete u jednu osobu,

radije nego u neku drugu, to vam psiholozi mogu reći.

rather than another, that psychologists can tell you.

Zaljubljujemo se u nekoga

And we tend to fall in love with somebody from the same socioeconomic background,

iz iste socioekonomske sredine,

istog stupnja inteligencije,

the same general level of intelligence, of good looks, the same religious values.

istog stupnja fizičkog izgleda,

istih religijskih svjetonazora.

Your childhood certainly plays a role, but nobody knows how.

Vaše djetinjstvo svakako igra ulogu, ali nitko ne zna kakvu.

And that's about it, that's all they know.

I to je sve, to je sve što znamo.

No, they've never found

Ne, nikada nisu našli način na koji dvije osobnosti

the way two personalities fit together to make a good relationship.

pašu zajedno i tvore dobru vezu.

So, it began to occur to me

Tako mi je postajalo jasno

that maybe your biology pulls you towards some people rather than another.

da vas možda vaša biologija odvlači

prema nekim ljudima, a ne prema nekim drugim.

And I have concocted a questionnaire to see to what degree

Napravila sam upitnik da vidim do kojeg stupnja

you express dopamine, serotonin, estrogen and testosterone.

izražavate dopamin, serotonin, estrogen i testosteron.

I think we've evolved four very broad personality types

Mislim da smo napravili 4 vrlo široka tipa osobnosti

associated with the ratios of these four chemicals in the brain.

povezanih s omjerima ovih četiriju kemikalija u mozgu.

And on this dating site that I have created, called Chemistry.com,

Na stranici za sparivanje ljudi, koju sam stvorila,

nazvanom Chemistry.com. Pitala sam vas prvo niz pitanja

I ask you first a series of questions

to see to what degree you express these chemicals,

da vidim do koje razine izražavate te hormone,

and I'm watching who chooses who to love.

tada gledam tko koga bira za ljubav.

And 3.7 million people have taken the questionnaire in America.

3,7 milijuna ljudi je ispunilo upitnike u Americi,

oko 600,000 ljudi ga je ispunilo u 33 druge zemlje.

About 600,000 people have taken it in 33 other countries.

I'm putting the data together now,

Trenutno prikupljam te podatke,

and at some point -- there will always be magic to love,

ali u određenom trenutku– uvijek će biti magično voljeti,

ali mislim da ću doći bliže razumijevanju

but I think I will come closer to understanding

zašto možete ući u jednu prostoriju

why it is you can walk into a room and everybody is from your background,

i svi su iz istog miljea kao vi,

your same general level of intelligence, good looks,

istog stupnja inteligencije,

istog stupnja fizičkog izgleda,

ali vas svejedno ne privlače.

and you don't feel pulled towards all of them.

I think there's biology to that.

Mislim da tu postoji biologija.

I think we're going to end up, in the next few years,

Mislim da ćemo u sljedećih nekoliko godina

to understand all kinds of brain mechanisms

uspjeti razumjeti svakakve moždane mehanizme

that pull us to one person rather than another.

koji nas privlače jednoj osobi, a ne drugoj.

So, I will close with this.

Završit ću s ovim. Ovo su stariji ljudi.

These are my older people.

Faulkner said, "The past is not dead, it's not even past."

Faulkner je rekao, “Prošlost nije mrtva,

nije čak još ni prošlost.”

Uistinu, nosimo puno tereta

Indeed, we carry a lot of luggage from our yesteryear in the human brain.

iz naših prošlih godina u našem mozgu.

And so, there's one thing that makes me pursue my understanding of human nature,

Postoji jedna stvar

koja me tjera da shvatim ljudsku prirodu

and this reminds me of it.

i ovo me podsjeća na to.

These are two women.

Ovo su dvije žene.

Women tend to get intimacy differently than men do.

Žene stvaraju prisnost drugačije nego muškarci.

Women get intimacy from face-to-face talking.

Žene stvaraju prisnost pričajući dok su okrenute licem u lice.

Okrećemo se jedna prema drugoj,

We swivel towards each other,

we do what we call the "anchoring gaze" and we talk.

radimo ono što zovemo "sidrenje pogleda" i pričamo.

To je intimnost za žene.

This is intimacy to women.

I think it comes from millions of years

Mislim da to dolazi od milijuna godina

držanja onog djeteta ispred svog lica,

of holding that baby in front of your face,

tepajući mu, pričajući, obrazujući ga riječima.

cajoling it, reprimanding it, educating it with words.

Muškarci stvaraju prisnost sjedeći jedan pokraj drugog.

Men tend to get intimacy from side-by-side doing.

(smijeh)

As soon as one guy looks up, the other guy will look away.

Čim jedan pogleda prema gore, drugi će pogledat u stranu.

(smijeh

(Laughter)

I think it comes from millions of years sitting behind the bush,

Mislim da to dolazi od milijuna godina

stajanja iza – sjedenja iza grma,

looking straight ahead, trying to hit that buffalo on the head with a rock.

gledanja naprijed,

pokušaja udaranja tog bizona u glavu sa kamenom.

(smijeh)

I think, for millions of years, men faced their enemies,

Mislim da su se milijunima godina muškarci morali suočiti sa svojim neprijateljima,

ali su sjedili pokraj svojih prijatelja.

they sat side-by-side with friends.

So my final statement is: love is in us.

Moja završna izjava je: ljubav je u nama.

Duboko je usađena u mozak.

It's deeply embedded in the brain.

Our challenge is to understand each other.

Naš je izazov razumjeti jedni druge. Hvala.

Thank you.

(pljesak)

(Applause)