Lesley Hazleton: The doubt essential to faith

Translator: Joseph Geni Reviewer: Morton Bast

翻译人员: 聪 龚 校对人员: Shengwei Cai

Writing biography is a strange thing to do.

写传记是件奇怪的事情

It's a journey into the foreign territory

它像一段踏入异域

of somebody else's life,

另一个人生活的旅程

这段旅程让你去探索

a journey, an exploration that can take you places

你做梦都没去过的地方

you never dreamed of going

and still can't quite believe you've been,

然后仍不能相信你所到达的地方

especially if, like me, you're an agnostic Jew

尤其当你像我一样，是一个不可知论者的犹太人

and the life you've been exploring

你所探索的又是

is that of Muhammad.

先知穆罕默德的生平

Five years ago, for instance,

举个例子，五年前

I found myself waking each morning in misty Seattle

当我每天在雾气弥漫的西雅图醒来时

to what I knew was an impossible question:

总有一个天马行空的问题：

What actually happened

隔着半个世界，半个历史

one desert night,

在沙漠的那个夜晚

half the world and almost half of history away?

到底发生了什么？

What happened, that is,

公元610年的那个夜晚

on the night in the year 610

当穆罕默德

when Muhammad received the first revelation of the Koran

在麦加郊外的一座山上第一次接受古兰经启示的时候

on a mountain just outside Mecca?

当时到底发生了什么？

This is the core mystical moment of Islam,

这是伊斯兰教最重要的神秘时刻

and as such, of course,

当然了

it defies empirical analysis.

无法对其进行实证分析

Yet the question wouldn't let go of me.

然而这个问题却挥之不去

I was fully aware that for someone as secular as I am,

我了解像我这样的俗人

just asking it could be seen

只是问个这样一个问题

as pure chutzpah.

纯粹就是胆大包天

(Laughter)

（笑声）

And I plead guilty as charged,

我承认这一点

because all exploration, physical or intellectual,

因为任何肉体上或精神上的探索

is inevitably in some sense an act of transgression,

都无法避免的会亵渎和越界

of crossing boundaries.

Still, some boundaries are larger than others.

然而，有些领域的边界更为宽广

So a human encountering the divine,

所以当一个人碰到了神

as Muslims believe Muhammad did,

就像穆斯林相信穆罕默德那样

to the rationalist, this is a matter not of fact

对于理性主义者来说，这并不是事实，而是妄想

but of wishful fiction,

就像大多数在座的各位一样，我是一个理性的人

and like all of us, I like to think of myself as rational.

这也许就是为什么当我查看

Which might be why when I looked at the earliest accounts

关于那夜最原始的记录时

we have of that night,

比起那夜发生了什么，让我更吃惊的是

what struck me even more than what happened

was what did not happen.

那些没有发生的事情的原因

Muhammad did not come floating off the mountain

穆罕穆德没有像在空中行走一般

as though walking on air.

从山上漂浮下来

他没有跑下来大喊："哈利路亚！”

He did not run down shouting, "Hallelujah!"

and "Bless the Lord!"

和“感谢上帝！”

He did not radiate light and joy.

他没有散发着光芒和喜悦，

There were no choirs of angels,

没有天使合唱

no music of the spheres, no elation, no ecstasy,

没有音乐笼罩，没有兴高采烈，没有心醉神迷

no golden aura surrounding him,

他周围没有金色光环

no sense of an absolute, fore-ordained role

没有一点表明他就是那个绝对的、注定的

as the messenger of God.

上帝的使者的意思

That is, he did none of the things

也就是说，他完全没有做过这些事情

that might make it easy to cry foul,

而这些事情容易让人们觉得很假

to put down the whole story as a pious fable.

从而把整个故事当做一个虔诚的寓言来看待

Quite the contrary.

恰恰相反

In his own reported words,

根据他自己的描述

he was convinced at first

他起初认为

that what had happened couldn't have been real.

发生的事情是不真实的

At best, he thought, it had to have been a hallucination --

他认为那顶多也就是幻觉

a trick of the eye or the ear, perhaps,

也许是一个对眼睛和耳朵的小把戏

or his own mind working against him.

或是他自己的脑袋跟他作对

At worst, possession --

往坏处想，他是被附身了

that he'd been seized by an evil jinn,

他被一个邪恶的神灵抓住了

a spirit out to deceive him,

要来欺骗他

even to crush the life out of him.

甚至要取走他的性命

In fact, he was so sure that he could only be majnun,

事实上，因为他非常肯定他只能是一个

possessed by a jinn,

被神灵附身的摩君

that when he found himself still alive,

所以当他发现自己还活着的时候

his first impulse was to finish the job himself,

他首先的冲动就是了结自己

to leap off the highest cliff

从最高的悬崖下跳下

and escape the terror of what he'd experienced

结束一切感觉

by putting an end to all experience.

来逃避他经历过的恐怖

So the man who fled down the mountain that night

所以，那夜他从山上飞奔而下

trembled not with joy

不是因为喜悦而颤抖

but with a stark, primordial fear.

而是因为赤裸裸的、原始的恐惧

He was overwhelmed not with conviction, but by doubt.

他心中没有充满坚定的信念，而是疑惑

And that panicked disorientation,

正是那种受到惊吓的迷失

that sundering of everything familiar,

那种与一切熟悉事物的决绝

that daunting awareness of something

那种对超越人类理解范围

beyond human comprehension,

的事物的令人生畏的觉察

can only be called a terrible awe.

才能够被称作无比的敬畏

This might be somewhat difficult to grasp

这可能有点儿难理解

now that we use the word "awesome"

现在我们用“棒极了”

to describe a new app or a viral video.

来评价一款新的应用或一段热门视频

With the exception perhaps of a massive earthquake,

也许大地震的视频除外

we're protected from real awe.

但我们离真正的敬畏还很远

We close the doors and hunker down,

我们关上门，蹲下来

convinced that we're in control,

相信一些都在掌控之中

or, at least, hoping for control.

或者，至少希望一些都在掌控之中

We do our best to ignore the fact that

我们尽量忽略这样一个事实：

we don't always have it,

我们并不总是有这样的敬畏之情

and that not everything can be explained.

同时并非一切都可以得到解释

Yet whether you're a rationalist or a mystic,

然而，无论你是一个理性主义者，还是一个不可知论者

whether you think the words Muhammad heard that night

无论你认为穆罕穆德那夜听到的话

came from inside himself or from outside,

是发自他的内心，还是来自外界

what's clear is that he did experience them,

很清楚的是他的确经历了它们

and that he did so with a force that would shatter

并且他如此做时，有一种力量会粉碎

his sense of himself and his world

他的感觉和他的世界

and transform this otherwise modest man

将这个本来谦逊的人

into a radical advocate for social and economic justice.

转变为一个激进的社会和经济公平的倡议者

Fear was the only sane response,

恐惧是唯一理智的反应

the only human response.

唯一的人性的反应

Too human for some,

对有些人来说可能太人性了

like conservative Muslim theologians who maintain that

像那些保守的穆斯林神学家坚持认为

the account of his wanting to kill himself

穆罕穆德想自杀的描述

shouldn't even be mentioned, despite the fact

根本不应该被提及，尽管那是

that it's in the earliest Islamic biographies.

最早的伊斯兰传记

They insist that he never doubted

他们坚持认为穆罕穆德

从未有过一刻的怀疑，更别说绝望了

for even a single moment, let alone despaired.

Demanding perfection, they refuse to tolerate

他们想要完美，所以拒绝容忍

human imperfection.

人性的不完美

Yet what, exactly, is imperfect about doubt?

那么，怀疑的不完美性到底在哪儿？

As I read those early accounts, I realized it was

当我在读这些早期的描述时，我意识到

precisely Muhammad's doubt that brought him alive for me,

正是穆罕穆德的怀疑让他在我面前栩栩如生

that allowed me to begin to see him in full,

让我开始更加全面地认识他

to accord him the integrity of reality.

把他和现实联系起来

And the more I thought about it,

我越想越觉得

the more it made sense that he doubted,

他怀疑是因为

because doubt is essential to faith.

怀疑是信仰的关键所在

If this seems a startling idea at first,

如果这听起来很让人吃惊的话

consider that doubt, as Graham Greene once put it,

想一想格雷厄姆·格林曾说过

is the heart of the matter.

怀疑是事物的核心

Abolish all doubt, and what's left is not faith,

除却所有怀疑，剩下的不会是信仰

but absolute, heartless conviction.

只是绝对的、没有感情的相信

You're certain that you possess the Truth --

你确信你拥有真理

inevitably offered with an implied uppercase T --

--不可避免的有一个明显的大写的T--

and this certainty quickly devolves

同时这种确信很快

into dogmatism and righteousness,

演变为教条主义和正义

by which I mean a demonstrative, overweening pride

就是一种由于无比的正确

in being so very right,

而带有的示范性的、自负的骄傲

in short, the arrogance of fundamentalism.

即原教旨主义的傲慢

It has to be one of the multiple ironies of history

这定是历史上众多讽刺中的一个

that a favorite expletive of Muslim fundamentalists

即穆斯林原教旨主义者喜爱的一句咒骂语

is the same one once used by the Christian fundamentalists

和基督教原教旨主义者曾经使用的是同一个

known as Crusaders:

著名的十字军

"infidel," from the Latin for "faithless."

“异教徒”，源于拉丁语中的“没有信仰”

Doubly ironic, in this case, because their absolutism

这里更加讽刺的是，他们的绝对主义

is in fact the opposite of faith.

事实上正是信仰的对立

实际上，他们才是异教徒

In effect, they are the infidels.

Like fundamentalists of all religious stripes,

向所有不同宗教的原教旨主义者一样

they have no questions, only answers.

他们没有问题，只有答案

They found the perfect antidote to thought

他们为思考找到了最佳的解毒药

and the ideal refuge of the hard demands of real faith.

为对真正的信仰的渴望提供理想的庇护

They don't have to struggle for it like Jacob

他们不必像雅各布那样挣扎

wrestling through the night with the angel,

整夜与天使博弈

or like Jesus in his 40 days and nights in the wilderness,

或像耶稣那样在野外呆上40个日夜

or like Muhammad, not only that night on the mountain,

或像穆罕穆德那样，不仅是在山顶的那夜

but throughout his years as a prophet,

而是在他作为预言者的那些岁月中

《可兰经》一直鼓励他不要放弃

with the Koran constantly urging him not to despair,

and condemning those who most loudly proclaim

同时指责那些大声宣称自己

that they know everything there is to know

凡所应知，无所不知

and that they and they alone are right.

以及只有自己才是正确的人

And yet we, the vast and still far too silent majority,

然而，我们这些太过沉默的大多数

have ceded the public arena to this extremist minority.

已经把舞台让给那些少数的极端主义者

We've allowed Judaism to be claimed

我们已经允许约旦河西岸

by violently messianic West Bank settlers,

暴力的狂热定居者宣称自己是犹太教

Christianity by homophobic hypocrites

允许憎恶同性恋的伪善者和厌恶女性的偏执狂

and misogynistic bigots,

宣称自己是基督徒

Islam by suicide bombers.

允许自杀式炸弹袭击者称自己是伊斯兰教

And we've allowed ourselves to be blinded to the fact that

我们已经允许自己对这样的事实视而不见

no matter whether they claim to be Christians,

不管他们称自己是基督徒

Jews or Muslims,

犹太人还是穆斯林

militant extremists are none of the above.

军事极端主义者不会是上面任何一种

They're a cult all their own, blood brothers

他们是邪教

是沉浸在他人的鲜血中的血腥兄弟

steeped in other people's blood.

This isn't faith.

这不是信仰

It's fanaticism, and we have to stop confusing the two.

而是狂热主义，我们必须停止混淆二者

We have to recognize that real faith has no easy answers.

我们必须认识到信仰没有简单的答案

It's difficult and stubborn.

它是困难的、执拗的

它需要不断的挣扎

It involves an ongoing struggle,

a continual questioning of what we think we know,

不断怀疑我们以为自己所知道的

它是一场问题和想法的博弈

a wrestling with issues and ideas.

It goes hand in hand with doubt,

在它和怀疑无休止的对话中

in a never-ending conversation with it,

它和怀疑如影随形

and sometimes in conscious defiance of it.

有时它会有意地拒绝怀疑

And this conscious defiance is why I, as an agnostic,

作为一名无可知论者，这种有意的拒绝就是

can still have faith.

我仍然会有信仰的原因

I have faith, for instance, that peace in the Middle East

比如，我相信中东地区会实现和平

is possible despite the ever-accumulating mass of evidence

尽管有越来越多的证据

证明事实恰恰相反

to the contrary.

I'm not convinced of this.

我不确信这一点

I can hardly say I believe it.

也很难说我相信这一点

I can only have faith in it,

我只能对此抱有信仰

commit myself, that is, to the idea of it,

即致力于它的理念

and I do this precisely because of the temptation

我这样做是正是因为诱惑

to throw up my hands in resignation

它让我举起双手服从

and retreat into silence.

回到沉默当中

Because despair is self-fulfilling.

因为绝望是一种自我实现

If we call something impossible,

如果我们认为它不可能

we act in such a way that we make it so.

我们就会以这样的方式让它变成不可能

And I, for one, refuse to live that way.

对我来说，我拒绝这样生活

In fact, most of us do,

事实上，我们大多数拒绝这样生活

whether we're atheist or theist

无论我们是无神论者，还是有神论者

or anywhere in between or beyond, for that matter,

或中间的任何一点或超越二者，就此而言

what drives us is that, despite our doubts

让我们前进的，尽管我们会怀疑

甚至因为我们的怀疑

and even because of our doubts,

we reject the nihilism of despair.

正是我们拒绝无望的虚无主义

We insist on faith in the future

我们坚持对未来的信仰

对彼此的信仰

and in each other.

Call this naive if you like.

随便你把它叫做天真

Call it impossibly idealistic if you must.

也随便你把它叫做不可能的理想主义

But one thing is sure:

但是有一点是确定的：

Call it human.

把它叫做人性

Could Muhammad have so radically changed his world

穆罕穆德能够彻底的改变他的世界吗？

without such faith, without the refusal

如果没有这样的信仰

没有拒绝固执地确信的傲慢？

to cede to the arrogance of closed-minded certainty?

I think not.

我认为他不会

After keeping company with him as a writer

在过去的五年里

作为一位陪伴他的作家

for the past five years, I can't see

我看到他不是别的什么

that he'd be anything but utterly outraged

而是对今天那些在中东和其它地方借他之名

at the militant fundamentalists who claim to speak

and act in his name in the Middle East and elsewhere today.

的军事原教旨主义者的全然愤怒

He'd be appalled at the repression of half the population

他会惊讶于对半数人口的压迫

because of their gender.

因为她们的性别

He'd be torn apart by the bitter divisiveness of sectarianism.

他会被宗教派别之间充满愤怒的不和摧垮

He'd call out terrorism for what it is,

他会直呼其为恐怖主义

not only criminal but an obscene travesty

不仅是犯罪，还是对他所相信的和所斗争的

肮脏的歪曲

of everything he believed in and struggled for.

He'd say what the Koran says: Anyone who takes a life

他会照着《古兰经》说：任何人

夺走一条生命，就夺走了全人类的生命

takes the life of all humanity.

Anyone who saves a life, saves the life of all humanity.

任何人拯救一条生命，就拯救了全人类的生命

And he'd commit himself fully

他会全身心地投入

to the hard and thorny process of making peace.

艰难的、充满荆棘的和平之路

Thank you.

谢谢！

（掌声）

(Applause)

Thank you. (Applause)

谢谢！（掌声）