Lesley Hazleton: The doubt essential to faith

Translator: Joseph Geni Reviewer: Morton Bast

譯者: William Choi 審譯者: Marssi Draw

Writing biography is a strange thing to do.

撰寫傳記是一件不可思議的事情

It's a journey into the foreign territory

記下別人的一生

of somebody else's life,

就如異國旅程一樣

a journey, an exploration that can take you places

這段旅程讓你探索

you never dreamed of going

那些從未想過的地方

and still can't quite believe you've been,

即使曾去過那裏，你自己都不敢相信

especially if, like me, you're an agnostic Jew

尤其當你像我一樣，是 一位不可知論者、 一位猶太人

and the life you've been exploring

而你所探索的旅程就是

is that of Muhammad.

「穆罕默德」的生平

Five years ago, for instance,

舉例來說，五年前

I found myself waking each morning in misty Seattle

當每天在晨霧彌漫的西雅圖醒來時

to what I knew was an impossible question:

我常想到一個很困難的問題

What actually happened

隔著半個地球，半頁歷史

one desert night,

在沙漠中某個夜晚

half the world and almost half of history away?

到底發生了什麼事？

What happened, that is,

西元 610 年的某個夜晚

on the night in the year 610

當穆罕默德在麥加郊外一處山上

when Muhammad received the first revelation of the Koran

第一次領受古蘭經啟示時

on a mountain just outside Mecca?

到底發生了什麼事？

This is the core mystical moment of Islam,

這是伊斯蘭教最關鍵的神秘時刻

and as such, of course,

那當然啦

it defies empirical analysis.

是無法對其進行實例分析的

Yet the question wouldn't let go of me.

然而這問題揮之不去

I was fully aware that for someone as secular as I am,

我完全瞭解像我這樣的非宗教人士

just asking it could be seen

問這樣的問題

as pure chutzpah.

真是放肆無禮

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

And I plead guilty as charged,

我承認這一點

because all exploration, physical or intellectual,

因為肉體上或精神上的任何探索

is inevitably in some sense an act of transgression,

都無法避免地

of crossing boundaries.

有褻瀆且冒犯之意

Still, some boundaries are larger than others.

然而，有些領域的邊界更為寬廣

So a human encountering the divine,

所以當人類遇到了神性時

as Muslims believe Muhammad did,

正如伊斯蘭教徒相信穆罕默德一樣

to the rationalist, this is a matter not of fact

對於理性主義者來說，這並不是事實

but of wishful fiction,

而是一廂情願的想像

and like all of us, I like to think of myself as rational.

就像在座各位一樣， 我認為我是理性的

Which might be why when I looked at the earliest accounts

這或許就是當我查看

we have of that night,

有關那夜最早的記錄時

what struck me even more than what happened

為什麼那夜發生的事情

was what did not happen.

較沒有發生的事情更令我吃驚的

Muhammad did not come floating off the mountain

穆罕穆德未曾如同在空中行走

as though walking on air.

從山上衝下來

He did not run down shouting, "Hallelujah!"

他沒有邊跑邊大喊：「哈利路亞！」

and "Bless the Lord!"

和「上帝保佑你！」

He did not radiate light and joy.

他沒有散發著耀眼的光芒和喜悅

There were no choirs of angels,

沒有天使的合唱，沒有餘音繞梁

no music of the spheres, no elation, no ecstasy,

沒有洋洋得意，沒有欣喜若狂

no golden aura surrounding him,

周圍沒有出現金色光環

no sense of an absolute, fore-ordained role

沒有一點這樣的感覺

as the messenger of God.

他正是上帝所差遣的使者

That is, he did none of the things

他也沒做過任何

that might make it easy to cry foul,

讓大家覺得很邪惡的事情

to put down the whole story as a pious fable.

把所有故事看成不可能實現的神話

Quite the contrary.

剛好相反

In his own reported words,

根據他自己的描述

he was convinced at first

他最初以為

that what had happened couldn't have been real.

所發生的事並不是真實的

At best, he thought, it had to have been a hallucination --

頂多也只是幻覺

a trick of the eye or the ear, perhaps,

也許被一對眼睛或耳朵戲弄

or his own mind working against him.

或是腦袋跟他作對

At worst, possession --

往壞處想

that he'd been seized by an evil jinn,

他被邪惡的神怪附身了

a spirit out to deceive him,

要來欺騙他

even to crush the life out of him.

甚至來取他的性命

In fact, he was so sure that he could only be majnun,

事實上，他非常肯定他只是惡魔附身

possessed by a jinn,

被神怪佔有

that when he found himself still alive,

所以當他發現還活著時

his first impulse was to finish the job himself,

心裡的念頭就是了結生命

to leap off the highest cliff

從最高的懸崖跳下

and escape the terror of what he'd experienced

了結所有一切

by putting an end to all experience.

來脫離恐怖的親身經歷

So the man who fled down the mountain that night

那夜他從山上摔下來

trembled not with joy

不是因為喜悅而顫抖

but with a stark, primordial fear.

而是赤裸裸的原始恐懼

He was overwhelmed not with conviction, but by doubt.

他心中沒有堅定的信念，只有疑惑

And that panicked disorientation,

正是那種起於恐慌的迷失

that sundering of everything familiar,

離開一切熟悉的事物

that daunting awareness of something

對超越人類理解範圍的事物

beyond human comprehension,

令人怯步的覺察

can only be called a terrible awe.

才可令人敬畏三分

This might be somewhat difficult to grasp

這可能有點難理解

now that we use the word "awesome"

現在我們常用「真棒」

to describe a new app or a viral video.

來評價一款新應用程式 或一段熱門影片

With the exception perhaps of a massive earthquake,

大地震的影片也許除外

we're protected from real awe.

我們免於受到真正的畏懼

We close the doors and hunker down,

我們關上門，蹲下來

convinced that we're in control,

相信一切都在掌控之中

or, at least, hoping for control.

或者，至少希望受到控制

We do our best to ignore the fact that

我們儘管忽略一項事實

we don't always have it,

我們並不常有敬畏之心

and that not everything can be explained.

也不是一切事情都能解釋

Yet whether you're a rationalist or a mystic,

然而，無論你是理性主義者 或是神祕主義者

whether you think the words Muhammad heard that night

無論你認為穆罕穆德 那夜聽到的聲音

came from inside himself or from outside,

是發自內心，還是來自外面

what's clear is that he did experience them,

他確實地親身經歷過

and that he did so with a force that would shatter

他這樣做，有一種力量削弱

his sense of himself and his world

他的感覺和他的世界

and transform this otherwise modest man

並使這心裡謙遜的人轉變為

into a radical advocate for social and economic justice.

社會公正和經濟公正 的激進提倡者

Fear was the only sane response,

恐懼是唯一合乎情理的反應

the only human response.

唯一乎合人性的反應

Too human for some,

對某些人來說，太人性化了

like conservative Muslim theologians who maintain that

就像那些保守的穆斯林神學家斷言

the account of his wanting to kill himself

穆罕穆德想要自殺

shouldn't even be mentioned, despite the fact

根本不應該被提及，儘管事實是

that it's in the earliest Islamic biographies.

最早的伊斯蘭傳記已有記載

They insist that he never doubted

他們堅持認為穆罕穆德

for even a single moment, let alone despaired.

從未有一刻懷疑過，更別說絕望了

Demanding perfection, they refuse to tolerate

要追求完美，所以拒絕容忍

human imperfection.

人性的不完美

Yet what, exactly, is imperfect about doubt?

那麼，懷疑的不完美到底是什麼呢？

As I read those early accounts, I realized it was

當我閱讀這些早期文獻時，我意識到

precisely Muhammad's doubt that brought him alive for me,

這正是穆罕穆德的懷疑讓他活現眼前

that allowed me to begin to see him in full,

讓我開始更全面認識他

to accord him the integrity of reality.

把他和現實聯繫起來

And the more I thought about it,

我越想越覺得

the more it made sense that he doubted,

他的懷疑是源自於

because doubt is essential to faith.

懷疑是相信的必要部分

If this seems a startling idea at first,

如果最初聽起來讓人吃驚的話

consider that doubt, as Graham Greene once put it,

就試想一下葛蘭姆．葛林說過的話

is the heart of the matter.

懷疑是事情的核心部分

Abolish all doubt, and what's left is not faith,

去除所有懷疑後，剩下的不會是信心

but absolute, heartless conviction.

只有絕對的、沒有感情的確定

You're certain that you possess the Truth --

你確信你擁有真理──

inevitably offered with an implied uppercase T --

必然地附有一個大寫的「T」 ──

and this certainty quickly devolves

同時這種確信很快

into dogmatism and righteousness,

轉移為教條主義和正義

by which I mean a demonstrative, overweening pride

就是一種由於無比的正確

in being so very right,

而帶有喜怒形於色的 過分自負的驕傲

in short, the arrogance of fundamentalism.

簡言之即是原教旨主義的傲慢

It has to be one of the multiple ironies of history

這必定是歷史上許多諷刺之一

that a favorite expletive of Muslim fundamentalists

伊斯蘭原教旨主義者喜愛的一句咒駡語

is the same one once used by the Christian fundamentalists

和基督教原教旨主義者曾使用的相同

known as Crusaders:

以十字軍著名的

"infidel," from the Latin for "faithless."

「異教徒」源自於拉丁語中的「沒有信仰」

Doubly ironic, in this case, because their absolutism

更加諷刺的是，他們的絕對主義

is in fact the opposite of faith.

事實上正是信心的對立面

In effect, they are the infidels.

實際上，他們才是異教徒

Like fundamentalists of all religious stripes,

像所有不同宗教的原教旨主義者一樣

they have no questions, only answers.

他們沒有發問問題，只有答案

They found the perfect antidote to thought

為思想找到了完美的對抗手段

and the ideal refuge of the hard demands of real faith.

為對真正的信仰提供理想避難所

They don't have to struggle for it like Jacob

他們不必像雅各那樣掙扎

wrestling through the night with the angel,

整夜與天使摔角

or like Jesus in his 40 days and nights in the wilderness,

或像耶穌一樣在荒野外耗上四十晝夜

or like Muhammad, not only that night on the mountain,

或像穆罕穆德一樣，不只在那夜的山頂

but throughout his years as a prophet,

而且他作為先知的日子中

with the Koran constantly urging him not to despair,

因著《可蘭經》，一直使他不要失望

and condemning those who most loudly proclaim

同時指責那些高聲宣揚

that they know everything there is to know

自己無所不知

and that they and they alone are right.

以及只有他自己才正確的人

And yet we, the vast and still far too silent majority,

然而，我們這些沉默的大多數

have ceded the public arena to this extremist minority.

已把舞台讓給少數的極端主義者

We've allowed Judaism to be claimed

我們已經允許暴力的 以救世主自居的

by violently messianic West Bank settlers,

約旦河西岸定居者 自我宣稱為猶太教

Christianity by homophobic hypocrites

懼怕同性戀的偽君子

and misogynistic bigots,

和厭惡女人的偏執狂 自我宣稱為基督徒

Islam by suicide bombers.

自殺式炸彈襲擊者 自我宣稱為伊斯蘭教

And we've allowed ourselves to be blinded to the fact that

允許我們自己對這樣的事實視而不見

no matter whether they claim to be Christians,

不管他們自我宣稱為基督教徒

Jews or Muslims,

猶太人或伊斯蘭教徒

militant extremists are none of the above.

而激進的極端主義者 並不是以上任何一種教徒

They're a cult all their own, blood brothers

他們屬於邪教

steeped in other people's blood.

血腥兄弟干預他人的血海深仇

This isn't faith.

這不是有關信仰的

It's fanaticism, and we have to stop confusing the two.

而是狂熱主義，我們須避免混淆二者

We have to recognize that real faith has no easy answers.

我們須認識到真正的信仰 從來沒有簡單答案

It's difficult and stubborn.

它是困難的、固執而不順從的

It involves an ongoing struggle,

牽涉不間斷的掙扎

a continual questioning of what we think we know,

要不斷懷疑自以為知道的

a wrestling with issues and ideas.

它是一場爭議和想法之爭

It goes hand in hand with doubt,

在不停的對話中

in a never-ending conversation with it,

它和懷疑如影隨形

and sometimes in conscious defiance of it.

某時有意地蔑視懷疑

And this conscious defiance is why I, as an agnostic,

作為一名不可知論者 這種有意識地蔑視懷疑就是

can still have faith.

為什麼我仍然要有信仰

I have faith, for instance, that peace in the Middle East

例如，我相信中東地區和平是可行的

is possible despite the ever-accumulating mass of evidence

儘管越來越多證據

to the contrary.

證明事實恰恰相反

I'm not convinced of this.

我不相信這點

I can hardly say I believe it.

也很難說我相信

I can only have faith in it,

我只能護衛著信仰

commit myself, that is, to the idea of it,

致力於它的理念

and I do this precisely because of the temptation

我這樣做正因為誘惑

to throw up my hands in resignation

讓我舉起雙手投降

and retreat into silence.

並退回到沉默中

Because despair is self-fulfilling.

因為絕望是一種自我實現

If we call something impossible,

如果我們認為某些事不可能

we act in such a way that we make it so.

我們就以這樣的方式行動 使它真的不可能實現

And I, for one, refuse to live that way.

對我來說，我拒絕這樣生活

In fact, most of us do,

事實上，我們大多數也會拒絕

whether we're atheist or theist

無論我們是無神論者或有神論者

or anywhere in between or beyond, for that matter,

或中間派或超越二者，就此而言

what drives us is that, despite our doubts

讓我們前進的是：儘管我們會懷疑

and even because of our doubts,

甚至因為我們懷疑

we reject the nihilism of despair.

正是我們排斥絶望的虛無主義

We insist on faith in the future

我們堅持信仰

and in each other.

對未來和對彼此皆是

Call this naive if you like.

隨便你叫它做天真

Call it impossibly idealistic if you must.

叫它做不可能的理想主義

But one thing is sure:

但這點是確定的

Call it human.

叫它做人性

Could Muhammad have so radically changed his world

穆罕穆德能徹底改變他的世界嗎？

without such faith, without the refusal

沒有信仰

to cede to the arrogance of closed-minded certainty?

不拒絕退讓給抱成見的固執傲慢者？

I think not.

我認為不會

After keeping company with him as a writer

在過去五年裡

for the past five years, I can't see

作為一位陪伴他的作家

that he'd be anything but utterly outraged

我看到他十足憤怒

at the militant fundamentalists who claim to speak

對那些被稱為激進的原教旨主義者

and act in his name in the Middle East and elsewhere today.

對那些今天在中東和 其他地方藉他的名行事

He'd be appalled at the repression of half the population

對半數人口因為她們的性別 而受到壓抑

because of their gender.

他會感到大為震驚

He'd be torn apart by the bitter divisiveness of sectarianism.

他會被宗派主義之間 充滿仇恨的分歧所折磨

He'd call out terrorism for what it is,

他會大聲叫喊那是恐怖主義

not only criminal but an obscene travesty

不僅是罪犯，還是對他 所相信的、所奮鬥的

of everything he believed in and struggled for.

令人厭惡的拙劣模仿

He'd say what the Koran says: Anyone who takes a life

他會照著《古蘭經》說：

任何人奪走一條生命 就奪走了全人類的生命

takes the life of all humanity.

Anyone who saves a life, saves the life of all humanity.

任何人拯救一條生命 就拯救了全人類的生命

And he'd commit himself fully

他會全心全力地投入

to the hard and thorny process of making peace.

這條艱難的、充滿荊棘的和平之路

Thank you.

謝謝

(Applause)

（掌聲）

Thank you. (Applause)

謝謝！（掌聲）