To raise brave girls, encourage adventure | Caroline Paul

Prevodilac: Milenka Okuka Lektor: Mile Živković

When I was a kid, I was obsessed with the Guinness Book of World Records,

Kad sam bila dete, bila sam opsednuta Ginisovom knjigom svetskih rekorda

and I really wanted to set a world record myself.

i zaista sam želela da sama postavim svetski rekord.

But there was just one small problem:

Ali postojao je jedan mali problem:

I had absolutely no talent.

uopšte nisam bila talentovana.

So I decided to set a world record in something

Pa sam odlučila da postavim svetski rekord u nečemu

that demanded absolutely no skill at all.

što ne zahteva apsolutno nikakve veštine.

I decided to set a world record

Odlučila sam da postavim svetski rekord

in crawling.

u puzanju.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

Now, the record at the time was 12 and a half miles,

Sad, tadašnji rekord je iznosio 20,1 km

and for some reason, this seemed totally manageable.

i iz nekog razloga se ovo činilo potpuno izvodljivim.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

I recruited my friend Anne,

Regrutovala sam prijateljicu Anu

and together we decided, we didn't even need to train.

i zajedno smo odlučile da nam nije potreban trening.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

And on the day of our record attempt,

A na dan kad smo napale rekord,

we put furniture pads on the outside of our good luck jeans

stavile smo uloške za nameštaj sa spoljašnje strane srećnih farmerica

and we set off,

i krenule smo,

and right away, we were in trouble,

i odmah smo bile u nevolji

because the denim was against our skin

jer nam je teksas bio do kože

and it began to chafe,

i počeo je da žulja

and soon our knees were being chewed up.

i uskoro je počeo da nam izjeda kolena.

Hours in,

Satima kasnije,

it began to rain.

počela je kiša.

Then, Anne dropped out.

Onda je Ana odustala.

Then, it got dark.

Potom se smračilo.

Now, by now, my knees were bleeding through my jeans,

E sad, do tad su mi kolena krvarila kroz farmerice

and I was hallucinating from the cold

i halucinirala sam od hladnoće

and the pain and the monotony.

i bola i monotonije.

And to give you an idea of the suffer-fest that I was undergoing,

A da bih vam dala ideju o agoniji kroz koju sam prolazila,

the first lap around the high school track took 10 minutes.

prvi krug po stazi oko srednje škole trajao je deset minuta.

The last lap took almost 30.

Poslednji krug je trajao skoro 30.

After 12 hours of crawling,

Nakon 12 sati puzanja,

I stopped,

stala sam,

and I had gone eight and a half miles.

a bila sam prešla 13,7 kilometara.

So I was short of the 12-and-a-half-mile record.

Dakle, bila sam ispod rekorda od 20,1 kilometar.

Now, for many years, I thought this was a story of abject failure,

Sad, mnogo godina sam mislila da je ovo priča o ubedljivom porazu,

but today I see it differently,

ali danas na to gledam drugačije

because when I was attempting the world record,

jer kad sam napadala svetski rekord,

I was doing three things.

radila sam tri stvari.

I was getting outside my comfort zone,

Izlazila sam iz stanja udobnosti,

I was calling upon my resilience,

izazivala sam svoju otpornost

and I was finding confidence in myself

i tragala sam za samopuzdanjem u sebi

and my own decisions.

i u sopstvenim odlukama.

I didn't know it then,

Tada nisam znala

but those are not the attributes of failure.

kako to nisu atributi za neuspeh.

Those are the attributes of bravery.

To su atributi za hrabrost.

Now, in 1989, at the age of 26,

Sad, 1989, u 26. godini,

I became a San Francisco firefighter,

postala sam vatrogaska u San Francisku

and I was the 15th woman in a department of 1,500 men.

i bila sam 15. žena u odseku od 1500 muškaraca.

(Applause)

(Aplauz)

And as you can imagine, when I arrived

I kao što pretpostavljate, kad sam stigla

there were many doubts about whether we could do the job.

mnogo se sumnjalo u to da li možemo da obavljamo posao.

So even though I was a 5'10", 150-pound collegiate rower,

Pa, iako sam bila studentska kajakašica od 177,8 cm i 68 kg,

and someone who could endure 12 hours of searing knee pain --

i neko koje mogao da istrpi 12 sati razornog bola u kolenima -

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

I knew I still had to prove my strength and fitness.

Znala sam da moram da dokažem svoju snagu i kondiciju.

So one day a call came in for a fire,

Jednog dana stigao je poziv zbog požara

and sure enough, when my engine group pulled up,

i čim se moja grupa u vozilu zaustavila,

there was black smoke billowing from a building off an alleyway.

videli smo tamni dim kako kulja iz zgrade pored ulice.

And I was with a big guy named Skip,

Ja sam bila sa krupnim momkom po imenu Skip,

and he was on the nozzle, and I was right behind,

i on je držao crevo a ja sam bila tik iza njega,

and it was a typical sort of fire.

i bio je to nekako tipičan požar.

It was smoky, it was hot,

Bilo je mnogo dima, vrelo

and all of a sudden,

i iznenada

there was an explosion,

desila se eksplozija,

and Skip and I were blown backwards,

a Skip i ja smo odgurnuti unazad,

my mask was knocked sideways,

maska mi se oborila sa strane

and there was this moment of confusion.

i nastao je trenutak zbunjenosti.

And then I picked myself up,

I onda sam se podigla,

I groped for the nozzle,

opipala sam crevo

and I did what a firefighter was supposed to do:

i uradila sam ono što bi vatrogasci trebalo da rade:

I lunged forward,

trgnula sam se napred,

opened up the water

pustila vodu

and I tackled the fire myself.

i sama sam se izborila s vatrom.

The explosion had been caused by a water heater,

Eksploziju je izazvao bojler,

so nobody was hurt, and ultimately it was not a big deal,

te niko nije povređen i naposletku nije bilo strašno,

but later Skip came up to me and said,

ali mi je kasnije prišao Skip i rekao:

"Nice job, Caroline,"

"Odličan posao, Karolin",

in this surprised sort of voice.

nekako iznenađenim glasom.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

And I was confused, because the fire hadn't been difficult physically,

A ja sam bila zbunjena jer požar nije bio fizički zahtevan,

so why was he looking at me with something like astonishment?

pa zašto me je gledao nekako zapanjeno?

And then it became clear:

A potom mi je postalo jasno:

Skip, who was by the way a really nice guy

Skip, koji je usput zaista fin momak

and an excellent firefighter,

i odličan vatrogasac,

not only thought that women could not be strong,

ne samo da je smatrao kako žene ne mogu da budu jake,

he thought that they could not be brave either.

smatrao je da ne mogu ni da budu hrabre.

And he wasn't the only one.

A on nije bio usamljen.

Friends, acquaintances and strangers,

Prijatelji, poznanici stranci,

men and women throughout my career

muškarci i žene čitavu moju karijeru

ask me over and over,

pitaju me iznova i iznova:

"Caroline, all that fire, all that danger,

"Karolina, sva ta vatra, sva ta opasnost,

aren't you scared?"

zar te nije strah?"

Honestly, I never heard a male firefighter asked this.

Iskreno, nikad nisam čula da muškog vatrogasca to pitaju.

And I became curious.

Pa sam postala znatiželjna.

Why wasn't bravery expected of women?

Zašto se hrabrost ne očekuje od žena?

Now, the answer began to come

Sad, odgovor je počeo da se začinje

when a friend of mine lamented to me

kad mi se prijateljica požalila

that her young daughter was a big scaredy-cat,

da joj je mlađa kćerka velika plašljivica-cica,

and so I began to notice,

pa sam počela da obraćam pažnju,

and yes, the daughter was anxious,

i, da, kćerka je bila anksiozna,

but more than that, the parents were anxious.

ali više od toga su roditelji bili anksiozni.

Most of what they said to her when she was outside began with,

Većina onoga što su joj govorili kad je bila napolju, počinjalo je sa:

"Be careful," "Watch out," or "No."

"Pazi", "Čuvaj se", ili "Ne".

Now, my friends were not bad parents.

Sad, moji prijatelji nisu bili loši roditelji.

They were just doing what most parents do,

Samo su radili što i većina roditelja,

which is cautioning their daughters much more than they caution their sons.

a to je nadziranje svojih kćerki mnogo više nego što nadziru svoje sinove.

There was a study involving a playground fire pole, ironically,

Rađeno je istraživanje u vezi sa požarnom šipkom na igralištu, ironično,

in which researchers saw that little girls were very likely to be warned

u kome su istraživači primetili da je velika prilika da će devojčice

by both their moms and dads about the fire pole's risk,

i mama i tata da upozore na rizike u vezi sa požarnom šipkom,

and if the little girls still wanted to play on the fire pole,

a ako bi devojčice i dalje želele da se igraju na požarnoj šipki,

a parent was very likely to assist her.

jedan roditelj bi joj najverovatnije pomagao.

But the little boys?

Dečaci međutim?

They were encouraged to play on the fire pole

Njih ohrabruju da se igraju na požarnoj šipki,

despite any trepidations that they might have,

uprkos bojaznima koje mogu da imaju,

and often the parents offered guidance on how to use it on their own.

a često bi roditelji ponudili uputstva kako da je samostalno koriste.

So what message does this send to both boys and girls?

Dakle, kakvu poruku ovo šalje i dečacima i devojčicama?

Well, that girls are fragile and more in need of help,

Pa, da su devojke krhke i da im je više potrebna pomoć,

and that boys can and should master difficult tasks by themselves.

a da dečaci mogu i trebaju da savladavaju teške zadatke samostalno.

It says that girls should be fearful

Govori nam da bi devojke trebalo da budu plašljive,

and boys should be gutsy.

a dečaci bi trebalo da budu odvažni.

Now, the irony is that at this young age,

Sad, ironija je da su u ovom uzrastu

girls and boys are actually very alike physically.

devojčice i dečaci zapravo fizički veoma slični.

In fact, girls are often stronger until puberty,

Zapravo, devojčice su često snažnije do puberteta

and more mature.

kao i zrelije.

And yet we adults act

A ipak se mi odrasli ponašamo

as if girls are more fragile

kao da su devojke krhkije

and more in need of help,

i da im je potrebnija pomoć

and they can't handle as much.

i da ne mogu jednako da podnesu.

This is the message that we absorb as kids,

Ovo je poruka koju kao deca upijamo,

and this is the message that fully permeates as we grow up.

i to je poruka koja nas potpuno prožima kad odrastemo.

We women believe it, men believe it,

Mi žene verujemo u nju, muškarci veruju u nju

and guess what?

i znate šta?

As we become parents, we pass it on to our children,

Kad postanemo roditelji, prenosimo je na našu decu

and so it goes.

i tako to ide.

Well, so now I had my answer.

Dakle, sad sam imala odgovor.

This is why women, even firewomen,

Evo zašto žene, čak i vatrogaske,

were expected to be scared.

bi trebalo da se plaše.

This is why women often are scared.

To je razlog zašto žene često jeste strah.

Now, I know some of you won't believe me when I tell you this,

Sad, znam da neki od vas mi neće verovati kad vam ovo kažem,

but I am not against fear.

ali ja nisam protiv straha.

I know it's an important emotion, and it's there to keep us safe.

Znam da je to važno osećanje i tu je radi naše bezbednosti.

But the problem is when fear is the primary reaction

Ali problem je kad je strah primarna reakcija

that we teach and encourage in girls

koju podučavamo i podstičemo kod devojaka

whenever they face something outside their comfort zone.

kad god se suoče s nečim što ih izbacuje iz stanja udobnosti.

So I was a paraglider pilot for many years --

Dakle, dugo godina sam bila pilotkinja paraglajdera -

(Applause)

(Aplauz)

and a paraglider is a parachute-like wing,

a paraglajder je krilo nalik padobranu

and it does fly very well,

i leti dosta dobro,

but to many people I realize it looks just like a bedsheet

ali shvatam da mnogim ljudima izgleda upravo kao čaršav

with strings attached.

sa zakačenim konopcima.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

And I spent a lot of time on mountaintops

I ja sam provela mnogo vremena na vrhovima planina

inflating this bedsheet,

pumpajući ovaj čaršav,

running off and flying.

hitajući se i leteći.

And I know what you're thinking.

I znam na šta mislite.

You're like, Caroline, a little fear would make sense here.

U stilu ste, Karolina, malo straha bi imalo smisla.

And you're right, it does.

I u pravu ste, bi.

I assure you, I did feel fear.

Uveravam vas, osećala sam strah.

But on that mountaintop,

Ali na tom vrhu planine,

waiting for the wind to come in just right,

čekajući baš odgovarajući vetar,

I felt so many other things, too:

osećala sam i toliko drugih stvari:

exhilaration, confidence.

uzbuđenje, samopouzdanje.

I knew I was a good pilot.

Znala sam da sam dobar pilot.

I knew the conditions were good, or I wouldn't be there.

Znala sam da su uslovi dobri, inače ne bih bila tu.

I knew how great it was going to be a thousand feet in the air.

Znala sam kako će sjajno da bude stotinama kilometara u vazduhu.

So yes, fear was there,

Dakle, da, strah je bio prisutan,

but I would take a good hard look at it,

ali bih se dobro zagledala u njega,

assess just how relevant it was

pozabavila bih se njegovim značajem

and then put it where it belonged,

i smestila ga gde mu je mesto,

which was more often than not

a to je češće puta bilo

behind my exhilaration, my anticipation

iza mog uzbuđenja, mog iščekivanja

and my confidence.

i mog samopouzdanja.

So I'm not against fear.

Dakle, nisam protiv straha.

I'm just pro-bravery.

Samo sam zagovornica hrabrosti.

Now, I'm not saying your girls must be firefighters

Sad, ne govorim da vaše devojke moraju da budu vatrogaske

or that they should be paragliders,

ili da bi trebalo da budu paraglajderke,

but I am saying that we are raising our girls to be timid, even helpless,

ali govorim da vaspitavamo naše devojke da budu plašljive, čak bespomoćne,

and it begins when we caution them against physical risk.

a to počinje kada ih upozoravamo na fizičke rizike.

The fear we learn and the experiences we don't

Strah koji naučimo i iskustva koja ne steknemo

stay with us as we become women

ostaju sa nama dok postajemo žene

and morphs into all those things that we face and try to shed:

i srastaju sa svim tim stvarima s kojima se suočavamo i pokušavamo da odagnamo:

our hesitation in speaking out,

naše oklevanje od govorenja,

our deference so that we can be liked

naša popustljivost kako bi nas voleli

and our lack of confidence in our own decisions.

i naš nedostatak samopouzdanja u sopstvene odluke.

So how do we become brave?

Dakle, kako da postanemo hrabre?

Well, here's the good news.

Pa, evo dobrih vesti.

Bravery is learned,

Hrabrost se uči

and like anything learned,

i kao bilo šta što se uči,

it just needs to be practiced.

prosto mora da se vežba.

So first,

Dakle, prvo

we have to take a deep breath

moramo duboko da udahnemo

and encourage our girls

i da ohrabrimo naše devojke

to skateboard, climb trees

da voze skejtbord, penju se na drveće

and clamber around on that playground fire pole.

i da se pentraju oko te vatrogasne šipke na igralištu.

This is what my own mother did.

To je moja majka radila.

She didn't know it then,

Nije tada bila svesna toga,

but researchers have a name for this.

ali istraživači imaju naziv za ovo.

They call it risky play,

Nazivaju to rizičnom igrom,

and studies show that risky play is really important for kids, all kids,

a istraživanja pokazuju da je rizična igra zaista važna za decu, svu decu

because it teaches hazard assessment,

jer uči o proceni opasnosti,

it teaches delayed gratification,

podučava o odloženom zadovoljenju,

it teaches resilience,

podučava otpornosti,

it teaches confidence.

podučava samopouzdanju.

In other words,

Drugim rečima,

when kids get outside and practice bravery,

kada deca izađu napolje i vežbaju hrabrost,

they learn valuable life lessons.

uče vredne životne lekcije.

Second, we have to stop cautioning our girls willy-nilly.

Pod dva: moramo da prestanemo da nonšalantno opominjemo naše devojke.

So notice next time you say,

Zato primetite sledeći put kada kažete:

"Watch out, you're going to get hurt,"

"Pazi, povredićeš se!"

or, "Don't do that, it's dangerous."

ili: "Ne radi to, to je opasno."

And remember that often what you're really telling her

I setite se da im često zapravo govorite

is that she shouldn't be pushing herself,

da ne bi trebalo da se naprežu,

that she's really not good enough,

da one zaista nisu dovoljno dobre,

that she should be afraid.

da bi trebalo da budu uplašene.

Third,

Treće:

we women have to start practicing bravery, too.

i mi žene moramo da počnemo da vežbamo hrabrost.

We cannot teach our girls until we teach ourselves.

Ne možemo da podučavamo devojke, dok ne podučimo nas.

So here's another thing:

Stoga, evo još nešto:

fear and exhilaration

strah i ushićenost

feel very similar --

imaju sličan osećaj -

the shaky hands, the heightened heart rate,

ruke se tresu, srce brže kuca,

the nervous tension,

nervoza

and I'm betting that for many of you

i kladim se da su mnogi od vas

the last time you thought you were scared out of your wits,

kad ste poslednji put mislili da ste uplašeni van pameti,

you may have been feeling mostly exhilaration,

možda ste osećali uglavnom ushićenost

and now you've missed an opportunity.

i sad ste propustili priliku.

So practice.

Zato vežbajte.

And while girls should be getting outside to learn to be gutsy,

I dok bi devojke trebalo da izlaze napolje i uče da budu odvažne,

I get that adults don't want to get on hoverboards or climb trees,

razumem da odrasli ne žele da voze hoverbord ili se penju na drveće,

so we all should be practicing

zato bi svi trebalo da vežbamo

at home, in the office

kod kuće, u kancelariji,

and even right here getting up the guts

pa čak i ovde, sakupljajući hrabrost

to talk to someone that you really admire.

da razgovaramo s nekim kome se zaista divimo.

Finally, when your girl is, let's say,

Naposletku, kada je devojčica, recimo,

on her bike on the top of the steep hill

na svom biciklu na vrhu strmog brda

that she insists she's too scared to go down,

insistirajući da je suviše uplašena da se spusti,

guide her to access her bravery.

uputite je da pristupi svojoj hrabrosti.

Ultimately, maybe that hill really is too steep,

Konačno, možda je to brdo uistinu suviše strmo,

but she'll come to that conclusion through courage, not fear.

ali će doći do tog zaključka putem hrabrosti, a ne straha.

Because this is not about the steep hill in front of her.

Jer se ne radi o strmom brdu ispred nje.

This is about the life ahead of her

Radi se o životu koji je pred njom

and that she has the tools

i tome da ona poseduje oruđa

to handle and assess

kako bi se izborila i pristupila

all the dangers that we cannot protect her from,

svim opasnostima od kojih je ne možemo zaštititi,

all the challenges that we won't be there to guide her through,

svim izazovima kod kojih nećemo biti tu da je vodimo kroz njih,

everything that our girls here

sa svime sa čime će se naše devojke ovde

and around the world

i širom sveta

face in their future.

suočiti u budućnosti.

So by the way,

Dakle, usput,

the world record for crawling today --

trenutni svetski rekord u puzanju -

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

is 35.18 miles,

je 56,62 kilometra

and I would really love to see a girl go break that.

i zaista bih volela da vidim devojku kako ga obara.

(Applause)

(Aplauz)