To raise brave girls, encourage adventure | Caroline Paul

Translator: Intan Andini Reviewer: Made Pramana

Waktu kecil, saya terobsesi dengan Guinness Book of World Records,

dan saya sangat ingin membuat rekor dunia sendiri.

When I was a kid, I was obsessed with the Guinness Book of World Records,

Tapi hanya ada satu masalah kecil:

Saya sama sekali tak punya bakat.

and I really wanted to set a world record myself.

Jadi saya putuskan untuk membuat rekor dunia dalam hal

But there was just one small problem:

yang sama sekali tak menuntut keterampilan.

I had absolutely no talent.

Saya putuskan membuat rekor dunia

So I decided to set a world record in something

dalam merangkak.

that demanded absolutely no skill at all.

(Tawa)

I decided to set a world record

Rekor pada saat itu adalah 12,5 mil,

in crawling.

(Laughter)

dan untuk beberapa alasan, itu tampak sangat mudah diraih.

Now, the record at the time was 12 and a half miles,

(Tawa)

Saya merekrut teman saya, Anne,

and for some reason, this seemed totally manageable.

dan bersama kami putuskan, kami bahkan tak perlu berlatih.

(Laughter)

(Tawa)

I recruited my friend Anne,

Di hari percobaan rekor kami,

and together we decided, we didn't even need to train.

kami memakai bantalan furnitur di luar celana jin keberuntungan kami

(Laughter)

dan kami berangkat,

And on the day of our record attempt,

dan segera, kami dalam masalah,

we put furniture pads on the outside of our good luck jeans

karena celana jin itu menggesek kulit kami

dan membuat lecet,

and we set off,

lalu lutut kami terluka serasa digigit.

and right away, we were in trouble,

Jam-jam berlalu,

because the denim was against our skin

hujan turun.

and it began to chafe,

and soon our knees were being chewed up.

Lalu, Anne menyerah.

Hours in,

Lalu, hari mulai gelap.

it began to rain.

Sekarang, lutut saya berdarah membasahi celana jin

Then, Anne dropped out.

dan saya berhalusinasi karena kedinginan,

Then, it got dark.

rasa sakit dan aksi monoton itu.

Now, by now, my knees were bleeding through my jeans,

Dan sebagai gambaran tentang pesta penderitaan yang saya alami,

and I was hallucinating from the cold

putaran pertama di sekitar trek SMA memakan waktu 10 menit.

and the pain and the monotony.

And to give you an idea of the suffer-fest that I was undergoing,

Lap terakhir waktunya hampir 30 menit.

the first lap around the high school track took 10 minutes.

Setelah 12 jam merangkak,

The last lap took almost 30.

saya berhenti,

dan saya telah melewati 8,5 mil.

After 12 hours of crawling,

Jadi saya kurang dari rekor 12,5 mil.

I stopped,

and I had gone eight and a half miles.

Kini, selama bertahun-tahun, saya rasa itu kisah kegagalan memalukan,

So I was short of the 12-and-a-half-mile record.

tetapi hari ini saya melihatnya berbeda,

karena saat saya mencoba memecahkan rekor dunia,

Now, for many years, I thought this was a story of abject failure,

saya melakukan tiga hal.

Saya keluar dari zona nyaman,

but today I see it differently,

saya menyerukan ketahanan saya,

because when I was attempting the world record,

dan saya menemukan kepercayaan diri

I was doing three things.

dan keputusan saya sendiri.

I was getting outside my comfort zone,

Saya tidak tahu saat itu

I was calling upon my resilience,

tapi mereka bukan atribut kegagalan.

and I was finding confidence in myself

Mereka ciri-ciri keberanian.

and my own decisions.

I didn't know it then,

Kini, di tahun 1989, pada usia 26 tahun,

but those are not the attributes of failure.

saya menjadi pemadam kebakaran di San Francisco,

Those are the attributes of bravery.

dan saya wanita ke-15 di departemen yang berisi 1.500 pria.

Now, in 1989, at the age of 26,

(Tepuk tangan)

I became a San Francisco firefighter,

and I was the 15th woman in a department of 1,500 men.

Anda bayangkan, ketika saya tiba,

(Applause)

banyak yang meragukan kami saat melakukan pekerjaan itu.

Meski saya atlet pendayung di kampus, tinggi sekitar 177 cm, berat 68 kg,

And as you can imagine, when I arrived

there were many doubts about whether we could do the job.

dan seseorang yang bisa menahan sakit lutut 12 jam --

So even though I was a 5'10", 150-pound collegiate rower,

(Tawa)

saya masih harus membuktikan kekuatan dan kebugaran saya.

and someone who could endure 12 hours of searing knee pain --

Suatu hari ada panggilan kebakaran,

dan saat kelompok mesin saya berhenti,

(Laughter)

ada asap hitam mengepul dari sebuah bangunan dari sebuah gang.

I knew I still had to prove my strength and fitness.

Saya bersama pria besar bernama Skip,

So one day a call came in for a fire,

and sure enough, when my engine group pulled up,

dan dia memegang pipa semprot, dan saya tepat di belakang,

there was black smoke billowing from a building off an alleyway.

dan jenis apinya khas.

Apinya berasap, panas,

And I was with a big guy named Skip,

and he was on the nozzle, and I was right behind,

dan tiba-tiba,

terjadi ledakan,

and it was a typical sort of fire.

lalu Skip dan saya terlempar ke belakang,

It was smoky, it was hot,

topeng saya terlempar ke samping,

and all of a sudden,

dan ada momen kebingungan ini.

there was an explosion,

Kemudian saya bangun,

and Skip and I were blown backwards,

meraba-raba pipa semprot,

my mask was knocked sideways,

dan saya lakukan yang seharusnya dilakukan pemadam:

and there was this moment of confusion.

And then I picked myself up,

saya menerjang ke depan,

membuka air,

dan saya menangani apinya sendiri.

I groped for the nozzle,

and I did what a firefighter was supposed to do:

Ledakannya disebabkan oleh pemanas air,

I lunged forward,

jadi tak ada yang terluka, dan itu bukan masalah besar,

opened up the water

and I tackled the fire myself.

tapi lalu Skip mendatangi saya dan berkata,

The explosion had been caused by a water heater,

"Kerja bagus, Caroline,"

so nobody was hurt, and ultimately it was not a big deal,

dengan suara terkejut begini.

(Tawa)

but later Skip came up to me and said,

Dan saya bingung, karena apinya tidak sulit secara fisik,

"Nice job, Caroline,"

in this surprised sort of voice.

jadi mengapa dia menatap saya dengan heran?

(Laughter)

And I was confused, because the fire hadn't been difficult physically,

Kemudian jelaslah:

Skip, sebenarnya pria yang sangat baik

so why was he looking at me with something like astonishment?

dan pemadam kebakaran hebat,

tidak hanya berpikir bahwa wanita tidak bisa menjadi kuat,

And then it became clear:

Skip, who was by the way a really nice guy

namun juga tak bisa jadi pemberani.

and an excellent firefighter,

Dan dia bukan satu-satunya.

not only thought that women could not be strong,

Teman, kenalan, dan orang asing,

he thought that they could not be brave either.

pria dan wanita sepanjang karir saya

menanyai saya berulang kali,

And he wasn't the only one.

“Caroline, semua api itu, semua bahaya itu,

Friends, acquaintances and strangers,

apa kamu tidak takut?"

men and women throughout my career

Saya tak pernah dengar pemadam kebakaran laki-laki ditanya itu.

ask me over and over,

"Caroline, all that fire, all that danger,

Dan saya jadi penasaran.

Mengapa keberanian tidak diharapkan dari wanita?

aren't you scared?"

Honestly, I never heard a male firefighter asked this.

Jawabannya mulai datang

And I became curious.

saat teman saya mengeluh ke saya,

bahwa putri kecilnya penakut,

Why wasn't bravery expected of women?

jadi saya mulai memerhatikan,

Now, the answer began to come

dan ya, putrinya cemas,

when a friend of mine lamented to me

tapi lebih dari itu, orang tuanya cemas.

that her young daughter was a big scaredy-cat,

and so I began to notice,

Kebanyakan yang diucapkan padanya saat dia di luar dimulai dengan,

and yes, the daughter was anxious,

"Hati-hati," "Perhatikan," atau "Jangan."

but more than that, the parents were anxious.

Most of what they said to her when she was outside began with,

Teman-teman saya bukan orang tua yang buruk.

"Be careful," "Watch out," or "No."

Mereka hanya melakukan yang kebanyakan orang tua lakukan,

yaitu memperingatkan anak perempuan lebih banyak dari anak laki-laki mereka.

Now, my friends were not bad parents.

Ada penelitian yang melibatkan tiang api taman bermain, ironisnya,

They were just doing what most parents do,

which is cautioning their daughters much more than they caution their sons.

peneliti melihat bahwa gadis kecil kemungkinan besar akan diperingatkan

There was a study involving a playground fire pole, ironically,

oleh ibu dan ayah mereka tentang risiko tiang api,

dan jika gadis-gadis kecil masih ingin bermain di tiang api,

in which researchers saw that little girls were very likely to be warned

orang tua sangat mungkin membantunya.

by both their moms and dads about the fire pole's risk,

Tapi anak laki-laki?

and if the little girls still wanted to play on the fire pole,

Mereka didorong untuk bermain di tiang api

a parent was very likely to assist her.

terlepas dari keraguan apa pun yang mungkin mereka miliki,

dan orang tua sering memberi panduan tentang cara menggunakannya sendiri.

But the little boys?

They were encouraged to play on the fire pole

despite any trepidations that they might have,

Jadi pesan apa yang diberikan hal ini kepada anak laki-laki dan perempuan?

and often the parents offered guidance on how to use it on their own.

Bahwa anak perempuan rapuh dan lebih membutuhkan bantuan,

So what message does this send to both boys and girls?

dan anak laki-laki bisa dan seharusnya menguasai tugas-tugas sulit sendiri.

Well, that girls are fragile and more in need of help,

Katanya anak perempuan harus takut

dan anak laki-laki harus berani.

and that boys can and should master difficult tasks by themselves.

Ironisnya, di usia muda ini,

It says that girls should be fearful

anak perempuan dan laki-laki mirip secara fisik.

and boys should be gutsy.

Faktanya anak perempuan lebih kuat sampai pubertas,

Now, the irony is that at this young age,

dan lebih dewasa.

Tapi kita orang dewasa bertindak

girls and boys are actually very alike physically.

seolah perempuan lebih rapuh

In fact, girls are often stronger until puberty,

dan lebih membutuhkan bantuan,

and more mature.

serta tak bisa menangani banyak hal.

And yet we adults act

Ini pesan yang kita serap sebagai anak-anak,

as if girls are more fragile

dan ini pesan yang sepenuhnya meresap saat kita tumbuh dewasa.

and more in need of help,

and they can't handle as much.

Kami wanita percaya itu, para pria juga,

This is the message that we absorb as kids,

dan coba tebak?

and this is the message that fully permeates as we grow up.

Saat menjadi orang tua, kita mewariskannya pada anak-anak,

dan begitu seterusnya.

We women believe it, men believe it,

Sekarang saya punya jawaban saya.

and guess what?

Ini alasan wanita, bahkan pemadam kebakaran wanita,

As we become parents, we pass it on to our children,

diharapkan takut.

and so it goes.

Ini alasan wanita sering takut.

Well, so now I had my answer.

This is why women, even firewomen,

Saya tahu beberapa dari Anda tidak akan memercayai saya,

were expected to be scared.

tapi saya tidak menentang rasa takut.

This is why women often are scared.

Saya tahu itu emosi yang penting, dan ia ada untuk membuat kita tetap aman.

Now, I know some of you won't believe me when I tell you this,

Tapi masalahnya adalah ketika rasa takut jadi reaksi utama

but I am not against fear.

yang kita ajarkan dan dorong pada anak perempuan

I know it's an important emotion, and it's there to keep us safe.

tiap kali mereka menghadapi sesuatu di luar zona nyamannya.

But the problem is when fear is the primary reaction

Saya menjadi pilot paralayang selama bertahun-tahun --

that we teach and encourage in girls

whenever they face something outside their comfort zone.

(Tepuk tangan)

dan paralayang seperti sayap parasut,

So I was a paraglider pilot for many years --

dan ia terbang sangat baik,

(Applause)

meski banyak yang bilang bentuknya mirip seprai

and a paraglider is a parachute-like wing,

yang dipasangi tali.

and it does fly very well,

(Tawa)

Dan saya menghabiskan banyak waktu di puncak gunung

but to many people I realize it looks just like a bedsheet

untuk menggembungkan seprai ini,

lari dan terbang.

with strings attached.

(Laughter)

Saya tahu yang Anda pikirkan.

And I spent a lot of time on mountaintops

Anda pasti, Caroline, masuk akal sedikit takut di sini.

inflating this bedsheet,

running off and flying.

Dan Anda benar, itu menakutkan.

And I know what you're thinking.

Saya yakinkan, saya memang merasa takut.

You're like, Caroline, a little fear would make sense here.

Tapi di puncak gunung itu,

menunggu angin yang tepat datang,

And you're right, it does.

saya juga merasakan banyak hal lain:

I assure you, I did feel fear.

kegembiraan, kepercayaan diri.

But on that mountaintop,

Saya tahu saya pilot yang baik.

waiting for the wind to come in just right,

Saya tahu kondisinya baik, jika tidak saya tak berada di sana.

I felt so many other things, too:

exhilaration, confidence.

Saya tahu betapa hebatnya berada 1.000 kaki di udara.

I knew I was a good pilot.

Jadi ya, rasa takut ada,

I knew the conditions were good, or I wouldn't be there.

tapi saya akan memerhatikannya dengan baik,

I knew how great it was going to be a thousand feet in the air.

menilai seberapa relevan itu

lalu meletakkannya di tempatnya,

So yes, fear was there,

yang lebih seringnya

but I would take a good hard look at it,

di belakang kegembiraan, antisipasi,

assess just how relevant it was

and then put it where it belonged,

dan kepercayaan diri saya.

Jadi saya tidak melawan rasa takut.

which was more often than not

Saya hanya pro-keberanian.

behind my exhilaration, my anticipation

and my confidence.

Saya tidak bilang gadis-gadis Anda harus menjadi pemadam kebakaran

So I'm not against fear.

I'm just pro-bravery.

atau mereka harus bisa paralayang,

tapi, kita membesarkan gadis-gadis kita untuk jadi pemalu, bahkan tak berdaya,

Now, I'm not saying your girls must be firefighters

or that they should be paragliders,

dan itu dimulai saat kita memperingati mereka tentang risiko fisik.

but I am saying that we are raising our girls to be timid, even helpless,

Ketakutan yang kita pelajari dan pengalaman yang tidak,

tetap ada seiring kita menjadi wanita

and it begins when we caution them against physical risk.

dan berubah jadi semua hal yang kita hadapi dan coba lepaskan:

The fear we learn and the experiences we don't

keragu-raguan kita dalam berbicara,

stay with us as we become women

sikap sopan kita agar kita disukai

and morphs into all those things that we face and try to shed:

dan kurangnya percaya diri pada keputusan kita sendiri.

our hesitation in speaking out,

Jadi bagaimana kita menjadi berani?

our deference so that we can be liked

Nah, inilah kabar baiknya.

and our lack of confidence in our own decisions.

Keberanian dipelajari,

dan apa pun yang dipelajari,

So how do we become brave?

hanya perlu dipraktikkan.

Jadi pertama-tama,

Well, here's the good news.

kita harus tarik napas dalam-dalam

Bravery is learned,

lalu dorong gadis-gadis kita

and like anything learned,

untuk main skateboard, memanjat pohon

it just needs to be practiced.

So first,

dan memanjat tiang api di taman bermain itu.

we have to take a deep breath

and encourage our girls

Inilah yang ibu saya sendiri lakukan.

to skateboard, climb trees

Dia tidak tahu saat itu,

and clamber around on that playground fire pole.

tapi para peneliti punya sebutannya.

Namanya permainan berisiko.

This is what my own mother did.

Penelitian menunjukkan, permainan berisiko sangat penting bagi semua anak,

She didn't know it then,

but researchers have a name for this.

karena mengajarkan penilaian bahaya,

They call it risky play,

mengajarkan kepuasan yang tertunda,

and studies show that risky play is really important for kids, all kids,

mengajarkan ketahanan,

dan kepercayaan diri.

because it teaches hazard assessment,

Dengan kata lain,

it teaches delayed gratification,

ketika anak-anak keluar dan berlatih keberanian,

it teaches resilience,

mereka belajar pelajaran hidup berharga.

it teaches confidence.

In other words,

when kids get outside and practice bravery,

Kedua, berhentilah memperingatkan gadis-gadis kita mau tak mau.

they learn valuable life lessons.

Perhatikan lain kali Anda berkata,

"Hati-hati, kau akan terluka,"

Second, we have to stop cautioning our girls willy-nilly.

atau, "Jangan lakukan itu, berbahaya."

Ingatlah yang sebenarnya sering kali Anda katakan padanya

So notice next time you say,

"Watch out, you're going to get hurt,"

ialah dia tak boleh memaksakan diri,

or, "Don't do that, it's dangerous."

dia tidak cukup baik,

And remember that often what you're really telling her

makanya dia harus takut.

is that she shouldn't be pushing herself,

Ketiga,

kita para wanita juga harus mulai melatih keberanian.

that she's really not good enough,

that she should be afraid.

Kita tak bisa mengajari putri kita sebelum mengajari diri sendiri.

Third,

we women have to start practicing bravery, too.

Jadi, inilah hal lain:

ketakutan dan kegembiraan

We cannot teach our girls until we teach ourselves.

terasa sangat mirip --

So here's another thing:

tangan gemetar, detak jantung meningkat,

fear and exhilaration

ketegangan saraf,

dan saya bertaruh kebanyakan Anda

feel very similar --

saat terakhir kali mengira Anda ketakutan,

the shaky hands, the heightened heart rate,

mungkin Anda merasa sebagian besar kegembiraan,

the nervous tension,

dan kesempatan telah Anda lewatkan.

and I'm betting that for many of you

the last time you thought you were scared out of your wits,

Jadi berlatihlah.

Dan sementara anak perempuan harus keluar untuk belajar berani,

you may have been feeling mostly exhilaration,

saya paham orang dewasa tak ingin naik hoverboard atau memanjat pohon,

and now you've missed an opportunity.

So practice.

And while girls should be getting outside to learn to be gutsy,

jadi kita semua harus berlatih

I get that adults don't want to get on hoverboards or climb trees,

di rumah, di kantor,

dan bahkan di sini, bangun nyali

so we all should be practicing

untuk berbicara dengan orang yang Anda kagumi.

at home, in the office

Terakhir, saat gadis Anda, katakanlah,

and even right here getting up the guts

naik sepeda di puncak bukit curam

to talk to someone that you really admire.

yang dia bersikeras dia terlalu takut untuk turun,

Finally, when your girl is, let's say,

bimbing dia mengakses keberaniannya.

on her bike on the top of the steep hill

Pada akhirnya, mungkin bukit itu memang terlalu curam,

that she insists she's too scared to go down,

tapi dia akan sampai di kesimpulan itu melalui keberanian, bukan rasa takut.

guide her to access her bravery.

Ultimately, maybe that hill really is too steep,

Karena ini bukan tentang bukit terjal di depannya.

but she'll come to that conclusion through courage, not fear.

Ini tentang kehidupan di depannya

dan bahwa dia memiliki alat

Because this is not about the steep hill in front of her.

untuk menangani dan menilai

semua bahaya yang tidak dapat kita lindungi darinya,

This is about the life ahead of her

semua tantangan yang kita takkan ada di sana untuk membimbingnya,

and that she has the tools

to handle and assess

segalanya yang gadis-gadis kita di sini

all the dangers that we cannot protect her from,

dan di seluruh dunia

all the challenges that we won't be there to guide her through,

hadapi di masa depan mereka.

everything that our girls here

Jadi omong-omong,

rekor dunia untuk merangkak hari ini --

and around the world

face in their future.

(Tawa)

adalah 35,18 mil,

So by the way,

the world record for crawling today --

dan saya sangat ingin melihat seorang gadis memecahkannya.

(Laughter)

is 35.18 miles,

(Tepuk tangan)

and I would really love to see a girl go break that.

(Applause)