To raise brave girls, encourage adventure | Caroline Paul

Translator: Crtomir Erzen Reviewer: Nika Kotnik

When I was a kid, I was obsessed with the Guinness Book of World Records,

Ko sem bila otrok, sem bila obsedena z Guinnessovo knjigo rekordov,

and I really wanted to set a world record myself.

in resnično sem tudi sama želela postaviti rekord.

But there was just one small problem:

Obstajal je samo en majhen problem:

I had absolutely no talent.

imela nisem absolutno nobenega talenta.

So I decided to set a world record in something

Zato sem se odločila postaviti rekord v nečem,

that demanded absolutely no skill at all.

kar ni zahtevalo popolnoma nobene veščine.

I decided to set a world record

Odločila sem se, da postavim rekord

in crawling.

v plazenju.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

Now, the record at the time was 12 and a half miles,

Takrat je rekord znašal 20km,

and for some reason, this seemed totally manageable.

in to se mi je zdelo čisto izvedljivo.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

I recruited my friend Anne,

Rekrutirala sem prijateljico Anne

and together we decided, we didn't even need to train.

in skupaj sva se odločili, da nama niti ni treba trenirati.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

And on the day of our record attempt,

Na dan najinega poskusa

we put furniture pads on the outside of our good luck jeans

podiranja rekorda sva na svoje srečne kavbojke nalepili filc

and we set off,

in se odpravili,

and right away, we were in trouble,

in že takoj so se pojavile težave,

because the denim was against our skin

ker se je denim drgnil on najino kožo

and it began to chafe,

in se začel cefrati,

and soon our knees were being chewed up.

in najina kolena so bila kmalu oguljena.

Hours in,

Po nekaj urah

it began to rain.

je začelo deževati.

Then, Anne dropped out.

Potem je Anne odstopila.

Then, it got dark.

Potem je postalo temno.

Now, by now, my knees were bleeding through my jeans,

Torej, sedaj so moja kolena krvavela skozi moje kavbojke,

and I was hallucinating from the cold

in imela sem privide zaradi hladu

and the pain and the monotony.

in bolečine in monotonije.

And to give you an idea of the suffer-fest that I was undergoing,

In če vam poizkusim pričarati občutek trpljenja, ki sem ga prestajala,

the first lap around the high school track took 10 minutes.

prvi krog okoli šolske proge sem naredila v desetih minutah.

The last lap took almost 30.

Za zadnjega sem potrebovala skoraj pol ure.

After 12 hours of crawling,

Po dvanajstih urah plazenja,

I stopped,

sem se ustavila,

and I had gone eight and a half miles.

in preplazila sem 13,5 km.

So I was short of the 12-and-a-half-mile record.

Torej nisem uspela podreti 20 km dolgega rekorda.

Now, for many years, I thought this was a story of abject failure,

Veliko let sem mislila, da je to zgodba o popolnem polomu,

but today I see it differently,

ampak danes na to gledam drugače,

because when I was attempting the world record,

ker ko sem poizkušala postaviti svetovni rekord,

I was doing three things.

sem delala tri stvari,

I was getting outside my comfort zone,

podajala sem se izven svoje cone udobja,

I was calling upon my resilience,

uporabila sem svojo trmo,

and I was finding confidence in myself

in našla sem zaupanje vase

and my own decisions.

in svoje odločitve.

I didn't know it then,

Takrat tega nisem vedela,

but those are not the attributes of failure.

ampak to niso lastnosti neuspeha.

Those are the attributes of bravery.

To so lastnosti poguma.

Now, in 1989, at the age of 26,

Leta 1989, pri starosti 26 let,

I became a San Francisco firefighter,

sem postala gasilka v San Franciscu,

and I was the 15th woman in a department of 1,500 men.

in bila sem petnajsta ženska v oddelku s 1500 moškimi.

(Applause)

(Aplavz)

And as you can imagine, when I arrived

Lahko si predstavljate, ko sem prišla,

there were many doubts about whether we could do the job.

jih je veliko dvomilo, da bom lahko opravljala službo.

So even though I was a 5'10", 150-pound collegiate rower,

Čeprav sem bila 178 cm visoka, 70 kilogramov težka akademska veslačica,

and someone who could endure 12 hours of searing knee pain --

in nekdo, ki lahko prenese 12 ur neznosne bolečine v kolenih -

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

I knew I still had to prove my strength and fitness.

sem vedela, da moram svojo moč in pripravljenost še dokazati.

So one day a call came in for a fire,

Nekega dne smo dobili klic za požar,

and sure enough, when my engine group pulled up,

in seveda, ko je naš avto prispel,

there was black smoke billowing from a building off an alleyway.

se je iz hiše v ulici že valil črn dim.

And I was with a big guy named Skip,

Delala sem z velikim možakom po imenu Skip,

and he was on the nozzle, and I was right behind,

on je bil na ročki, jaz pa takoj za njim,

and it was a typical sort of fire.

in bil je tipičen požar.

It was smoky, it was hot,

Bilo je polno dima, bilo je vroče,

and all of a sudden,

in kar naenkrat

there was an explosion,

je prišlo do eksplozije.

and Skip and I were blown backwards,

Mene in Skipa je odneslo nazaj,

my mask was knocked sideways,

mojo masko je izbilo na stran,

and there was this moment of confusion.

obstala sva v trenutku zmedenosti.

And then I picked myself up,

In potem sem se pobrala,

I groped for the nozzle,

zagrabila ročko,

and I did what a firefighter was supposed to do:

in naredila, kar bi moral narediti vsak gasilec:

I lunged forward,

Pognala sem se naprej,

opened up the water

odprla vodo

and I tackled the fire myself.

in se sama borila z ognjem.

The explosion had been caused by a water heater,

Eksplozijo je povzročil grelnik vode,

so nobody was hurt, and ultimately it was not a big deal,

tako da nihče ni bil poškodovan, in konec koncev ni bilo, ne vem kaj,

but later Skip came up to me and said,

ampak kasneje je Skip prišel do mene in rekel:

"Nice job, Caroline,"

"Dobro opravljeno, Caroline,"

in this surprised sort of voice.

s tem presenečenim glasom.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

And I was confused, because the fire hadn't been difficult physically,

Bila sem zmedena, ker požar ni bil fizično zahteven,

so why was he looking at me with something like astonishment?

zakaj me je potem gledal tako presenečeno?

And then it became clear:

In potem mi je postalo jasno:

Skip, who was by the way a really nice guy

Skip, ki je bil mimogrede res super fant,

and an excellent firefighter,

in odličen gasilec,

not only thought that women could not be strong,

ne samo, da je mislil, da ženske ne morejo biti močne,

he thought that they could not be brave either.

mislil je tudi, da ne morejo biti pogumne.

And he wasn't the only one.

In ni bil edini.

Friends, acquaintances and strangers,

Prijatelji, znanci in tujci,

men and women throughout my career

moški in ženske skozi celotno mojo kariero

ask me over and over,

so me venomer spraševali:

"Caroline, all that fire, all that danger,

"Caroline, ves ta ogenj, vsa ta nevarnost,

aren't you scared?"

se nič ne bojiš?"

Honestly, I never heard a male firefighter asked this.

Odkrito povedano, nikoli nisem slišala, da bi kdo to vprašal moškega gasilca.

And I became curious.

In postala sem zvedava.

Why wasn't bravery expected of women?

Zakaj se od žensk ne pričakuje poguma?

Now, the answer began to come

No, odgovor se je pojavil,

when a friend of mine lamented to me

ko mi je prijateljica zaupala,

that her young daughter was a big scaredy-cat,

da je njena hčerka ena velika boječka,

and so I began to notice,

in tako sem začela opažati,

and yes, the daughter was anxious,

in da, njena hči je bila prestrašena,

but more than that, the parents were anxious.

vendar še huje, njena starša sta bila prestrašena.

Most of what they said to her when she was outside began with,

Večina izrečenega, ko je bila zunaj, se je začelo z:

"Be careful," "Watch out," or "No."

"Bodi previdna", "Pazi" ali "Ne."

Now, my friends were not bad parents.

Moja prijatelja nista bila slaba starša.

They were just doing what most parents do,

Delala sta samo tisto, kar počne večina staršev,

which is cautioning their daughters much more than they caution their sons.

veliko večkrat opozarjajo svojo hčerke, kot opozarjajo svoje sinove.

There was a study involving a playground fire pole, ironically,

Narejena je bila študija, ki je, ironično, vključevala gasilski drog na igrišču,

in which researchers saw that little girls were very likely to be warned

v kateri so raziskovalci ugotovili, da bodo deklice zelo verjetno opozorjene

by both their moms and dads about the fire pole's risk,

s strani tako mam kot očetov na nevarnosti uporabe droga,

and if the little girls still wanted to play on the fire pole,

in če so si deklice vseeno želele igrati na gasilskem drogu,

a parent was very likely to assist her.

je bilo zelo verjetno, da ji bo starš pri tem pomagal.

But the little boys?

Kaj pa fantki?

They were encouraged to play on the fire pole

Spodbujali so jih, naj se igrajo na drogu,

despite any trepidations that they might have,

kljub strahu, ki so ga morda imeli,

and often the parents offered guidance on how to use it on their own.

in pogosto so starši ponudili nasvet, kako naj ga samostojno uporabljajo.

So what message does this send to both boys and girls?

Kakšno sporočilo to pošilja fantom in dekletom?

Well, that girls are fragile and more in need of help,

No, da so dekleta krhka in bolj potrebujejo pomoč,

and that boys can and should master difficult tasks by themselves.

in da fantje lahko in morajo obvladovati težke naloge brez pomoči.

It says that girls should be fearful

Sporoča, da naj bodo dekleta boječa

and boys should be gutsy.

in naj bodo fantje pogumni.

Now, the irony is that at this young age,

Ironija je, da so pri tej starosti

girls and boys are actually very alike physically.

deklice in fantje fizično precej podobni.

In fact, girls are often stronger until puberty,

Pravzaprav, deklice so pogosto močnejše do pubertete,

and more mature.

in bolj zrele.

And yet we adults act

In vendar se mi odrasli vedemo,

as if girls are more fragile

kot da so deklice bolj krhke

and more in need of help,

in bolj potrebne pomoči,

and they can't handle as much.

in niso tako sposobne.

This is the message that we absorb as kids,

To je sporočilo, ki smo ga dobili kot otroci,

and this is the message that fully permeates as we grow up.

in to je sporočilo, ki nas popolnoma prežema, ko odraščamo.

We women believe it, men believe it,

Me ženske mu verjamemo, moški mu verjamejo,

and guess what?

in veste kaj?

As we become parents, we pass it on to our children,

Ko postanemo starši, ga prenesemo na naše otroke,

and so it goes.

in tako gre naprej.

Well, so now I had my answer.

Tako, sedaj sem imela svoj odgovor.

This is why women, even firewomen,

Zaradi tega se od žensk, tudi gasilk,

were expected to be scared.

pričakuje, da jih bo strah.

This is why women often are scared.

Zaradi tega ženske tudi pogosto je strah.

Now, I know some of you won't believe me when I tell you this,

Vem, da mi nekateri ne boste verjeli, ko vam bom to povedala,

but I am not against fear.

ampak jaz ne nasprotujem strahu.

I know it's an important emotion, and it's there to keep us safe.

Vem, da je pomembno čustvo, in skrbi, da smo varni.

But the problem is when fear is the primary reaction

Problem nastane, ko strah postane primarni odziv,

that we teach and encourage in girls

ki ga učimo in spodbujamo pri dekletih,

whenever they face something outside their comfort zone.

ko se soočijo z nečim izven njihove cone udobja.

So I was a paraglider pilot for many years --

Veliko let sem bila jadralna padalka -

(Applause)

(Aplavz)

and a paraglider is a parachute-like wing,

in jadralno padalo je samo vrsta padala

and it does fly very well,

in leti zelo dobro,

but to many people I realize it looks just like a bedsheet

ampak zavedam se, da se marsikomu zdi kot kakšna rjuha

with strings attached.

s pritrjenimi vrvicami.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

And I spent a lot of time on mountaintops

Veliko časa sem preživela na vrhovih gora,

inflating this bedsheet,

napihovala to rjuho,

running off and flying.

se pognala po klancu in letela.

And I know what you're thinking.

In vem, kaj si mislite.

You're like, Caroline, a little fear would make sense here.

Mislite, Caroline, malo strahu ti ne bi škodilo.

And you're right, it does.

In prav imate, res mi ne bi.

I assure you, I did feel fear.

Zagotavljam vam, občutila sem strah.

But on that mountaintop,

Ampak na tem vrhu gore,

waiting for the wind to come in just right,

čakajoča na ravno pravi veter,

I felt so many other things, too:

sem občutila tudi veliko drugega:

exhilaration, confidence.

navdušenje, samozavest.

I knew I was a good pilot.

Vedela sem, da sem dobra pilotka.

I knew the conditions were good, or I wouldn't be there.

Vedela sem, da so pogoji dobri, drugače ne bi bila tam.

I knew how great it was going to be a thousand feet in the air.

Vedela sem, kako super bo leteti stotine metrov nad tlemi.

So yes, fear was there,

Ja, strah je bil prisoten,

but I would take a good hard look at it,

vendar sem ga dobro pogledala,

assess just how relevant it was

ocenila, koliko je dejansko pomemben

and then put it where it belonged,

in ga potem pospravila kamor sodi,

which was more often than not

ki je bil večkrat kot ne

behind my exhilaration, my anticipation

za mojim navdušenjem, mojim pričakovanjem

and my confidence.

in mojo samozavestjo.

So I'm not against fear.

Torej, nimam nič proti strahu.

I'm just pro-bravery.

Jaz sem samo za pogum.

Now, I'm not saying your girls must be firefighters

Ne pravim, da bi vaše deklice morale postati gasilke,

or that they should be paragliders,

ali da bi morale postati jadralne padalke,

but I am saying that we are raising our girls to be timid, even helpless,

pravim, da naše deklice vzgajamo, da bodo pohlevne, celo nebogljene,

and it begins when we caution them against physical risk.

in začne se, ko jih opozarjamo o fizičnem tveganju.

The fear we learn and the experiences we don't

Strah, ki se ga naučimo, in izkušnje, ki se jih ne,

stay with us as we become women

ostanejo z nami, ko postanemo ženske

and morphs into all those things that we face and try to shed:

in se prelevi v vse te stvari, s katerimi se soočamo in se jih poizkušamo otresti:

our hesitation in speaking out,

naše oklevanje pri izražanju mnenja,

our deference so that we can be liked

naše priklanjanje, da bi nas imeli radi

and our lack of confidence in our own decisions.

in naše pomanjkanje samozavesti pri sprejemanju odločitev.

So how do we become brave?

Kako torej postanemo pogumne?

Well, here's the good news.

Imam dobro novico.

Bravery is learned,

Poguma se lahko naučimo,

and like anything learned,

in kot vsako naučeno stvar,

it just needs to be practiced.

ga je potrebno vaditi.

So first,

Najprej,

we have to take a deep breath

moramo globoko zajeti zrak

and encourage our girls

in spodbujati naša dekleta,

to skateboard, climb trees

naj rolkajo, plezajo po drevesih

and clamber around on that playground fire pole.

se zvirajo po tistem gasilskem drogu na igrišču.

This is what my own mother did.

To je počela moja mama.

She didn't know it then,

Takrat tega ni vedela,

but researchers have a name for this.

ampak raziskovalci imajo ime za to.

They call it risky play,

Temu pravijo tvegana igra,

and studies show that risky play is really important for kids, all kids,

in študije kažejo, da je tvegana igra zelo pomembna za otroke, vse otroke,

because it teaches hazard assessment,

ker uči ocenjevanje nevarnosti,

it teaches delayed gratification,

uči zakasnjeno nagrajevanje,

it teaches resilience,

uči vztrajnost,

it teaches confidence.

uči samozavest.

In other words,

Z drugimi besedami,

when kids get outside and practice bravery,

ko gredo otroci ven in vadijo pogum,

they learn valuable life lessons.

se naučijo pomembne življenjske nauke.

Second, we have to stop cautioning our girls willy-nilly.

Drugič, zavestno moramo prenehati opozarjati naše deklice.

So notice next time you say,

Pazite, ko naslednjič rečete:

"Watch out, you're going to get hurt,"

"Pazi, poškodovala se boš,"

or, "Don't do that, it's dangerous."

ali: "Ne počni tega, nevarno je."

And remember that often what you're really telling her

In zapomnite si, da ji pogosto s tem govorite,

is that she shouldn't be pushing herself,

da se ne bi smela boriti,

that she's really not good enough,

da pravzaprav ni dovolj dobra,

that she should be afraid.

da bi jo moralo biti strah.

Third,

Tretjič,

we women have to start practicing bravery, too.

tudi me ženske moramo začeti vaditi pogum.

We cannot teach our girls until we teach ourselves.

Ne moremo naučiti svojih deklet, dokler ne naučimo sebe.

So here's another thing:

Zato je tu še ena stvar:

fear and exhilaration

strah in navdušenje

feel very similar --

občutimo zelo podobno -

the shaky hands, the heightened heart rate,

tresoče roke, povišan utrip srca,

the nervous tension,

živčna napetost,

and I'm betting that for many of you

in upam staviti, da je veliko od vas

the last time you thought you were scared out of your wits,

nazadnje, ko ste mislile, da se boste zgrudile od strahu,

you may have been feeling mostly exhilaration,

večinoma čutilo vznemirjenje,

and now you've missed an opportunity.

in sedaj ste zamudile priložnost.

So practice.

Torej vadite.

And while girls should be getting outside to learn to be gutsy,

In medtem ko naj bi šle punce ven in se učile poguma,

I get that adults don't want to get on hoverboards or climb trees,

mi je jasno, da odrasli nočejo voziti hoverbordov in plezati po drevesih,

so we all should be practicing

zato bi morali mi vsi vaditi

at home, in the office

doma, v pisarni

and even right here getting up the guts

in celo prav tukaj, zbrati pogum

to talk to someone that you really admire.

in ogovoriti nekoga, ki ga res občudujete.

Finally, when your girl is, let's say,

In končno, ko je vaše dekle recimo

on her bike on the top of the steep hill

na kolesu na vrhu strmega klanca,

that she insists she's too scared to go down,

kjer vztraja, da jo je preveč strah, da bi se spustila,

guide her to access her bravery.

ji pomagajte, da bo našla svoj pogum.

Ultimately, maybe that hill really is too steep,

Na koncu je klanec mogoče res preveč strm,

but she'll come to that conclusion through courage, not fear.

ampak do tega spoznanja bo prišla skozi pogum in ne strah.

Because this is not about the steep hill in front of her.

Ker ne gre za strm klanec pred njo.

This is about the life ahead of her

Gre za življenje pred njo

and that she has the tools

in da ima orodja,

to handle and assess

da ga obvlada in oceni vsa tveganja,

all the dangers that we cannot protect her from,

pred katerimi je ne moremo obvarovati,

all the challenges that we won't be there to guide her through,

vse izzive, pri katerih ji ne bomo mogli pomagati,

everything that our girls here

vse, kar dekleta tu

and around the world

in okoli sveta

face in their future.

doživijo v prihodnosti.

So by the way,

Še mimogrede,

the world record for crawling today --

današnji svetovni rekord v plazenju -

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

is 35.18 miles,

je 56,6 km,

and I would really love to see a girl go break that.

in res bi bila vesela, če bi ga dekle podrlo.

(Applause)

(Aplavz)