To raise brave girls, encourage adventure | Caroline Paul

Translator: Vladimíra Molčanová Reviewer: Alena Tenzerova

When I was a kid, I was obsessed with the Guinness Book of World Records,

Keď som bola dieťa, bola som posadnutá Guinnesovou knihou rekordov

and I really wanted to set a world record myself.

a aj ja som chcela vytvoriť rekord.

But there was just one small problem:

Bol tu však jeden malý problém,

I had absolutely no talent.

nemala som žiaden talent.

So I decided to set a world record in something

Tak som sa rozhodla vytvoriť svetový rekord v niečom,

that demanded absolutely no skill at all.

na čo žiaden talent netreba.

I decided to set a world record

Rozhodla som sa vytvoriť svetový rekord v plazení.

in crawling.

(Laughter)

(smiech)

Now, the record at the time was 12 and a half miles,

V tom čase bol tento rekord 12 a pol míle

and for some reason, this seemed totally manageable.

a z nejakého dôvodu som si myslela, že nie je problém to zvládnuť.

(Laughter)

(smiech)

I recruited my friend Anne,

Nahovorila som kamarátku Anne

and together we decided, we didn't even need to train.

a spoločne sme sa rozhodli, že ani nepotrebujeme trénovať.

(Laughter)

(smiech)

And on the day of our record attempt,

V deň pokusu o náš rekord

we put furniture pads on the outside of our good luck jeans

sme si obliekli džínsy pre šťastie,

nalepili na ne plstené podložky,

and we set off,

a pustili sme sa do toho.

and right away, we were in trouble,

Hneď zo začiatku sme narazili na problém.

because the denim was against our skin

Tesná džínsovina nám odierala kolená

and it began to chafe,

and soon our knees were being chewed up.

a čoskoro boli úplne spálené.

Hours in,

Po pár hodinách začalo pršať.

it began to rain.

Then, Anne dropped out.

Vtedy to Anne vzdala.

Then, it got dark.

Nato sa zotmelo.

Now, by now, my knees were bleeding through my jeans,

V tomto štádiu mi už kolená krvácali cez džínsy

and I was hallucinating from the cold

a mala som halucinácie zo zimy,

and the pain and the monotony.

z bolesti a monotónosti.

And to give you an idea of the suffer-fest that I was undergoing,

Aby ste mali predstavu o tom, ako veľmi som trpela,

the first lap around the high school track took 10 minutes.

prvý okruh okolo školskej bežeckej dráhy

mi trval 10 minút.

The last lap took almost 30.

Posledný okruh mi trval skoro pol hodiny.

After 12 hours of crawling,

Po 12 hodinách

som sa prestala plaziť.

I stopped,

and I had gone eight and a half miles.

Podarilo sa mi prejsť 8 a pol míle.

So I was short of the 12-and-a-half-mile record.

Nestačilo to na 12 a pol míľový rekord.

Now, for many years, I thought this was a story of abject failure,

Veľa rokov som si myslela,

že to bolo moje totálne zlyhanie.

but today I see it differently,

Ale dnes to vidím inak,

because when I was attempting the world record,

pretože keď som sa pokúšala o svetový rekord,

I was doing three things.

dokázala som tri veci.

I was getting outside my comfort zone,

Vystúpila som zo svojej zóny pohodlia,

I was calling upon my resilience,

testovala svoju odolnosť

and I was finding confidence in myself

a nadobúdala sebavedomie

and my own decisions.

a dôveru vo vlastné rozhodutia.

I didn't know it then,

Vtedy som to nevedela,

but those are not the attributes of failure.

no toto nie sú znaky zlyhania.

Those are the attributes of bravery.

Sú to atribúty odvahy.

Now, in 1989, at the age of 26,

V roku 1989, vo veku 26

I became a San Francisco firefighter,

som sa stala požiarníčkou v San Franciscu

and I was the 15th woman in a department of 1,500 men.

a bola som pätnástou ženou na oddelení s 1500 mužmi.

(Applause)

(potlesk)

And as you can imagine, when I arrived

Ako si viete predstaviť, keď som prišla,

there were many doubts about whether we could do the job.

mnohí pochybovali, či ženy zvládnu túto prácu.

So even though I was a 5'10", 150-pound collegiate rower,

Aj napriek tomu, že som bola veslárka vysoká 180 metrov, s hmotnosťou 70 kg,

and someone who could endure 12 hours of searing knee pain --

schopná vydržať 12 hodín pálivej bolesti kolien,

(Laughter)

(smiech)

vedela som, že budem musieť dokázať svoju silu a spôsobilosť.

I knew I still had to prove my strength and fitness.

So one day a call came in for a fire,

Jedného dňa sme mali poplach

and sure enough, when my engine group pulled up,

a keď moja skupina dorazila na miesto požiaru,

there was black smoke billowing from a building off an alleyway.

z jednej budovy v uličke stúpal hustý dym.

And I was with a big guy named Skip,

Mojím partnerom bol veľký chlap menom Skip.

and he was on the nozzle, and I was right behind,

On bol na tryske, ja som stála hneď za ním.

and it was a typical sort of fire.

Bol to typický požiar:

It was smoky, it was hot,

veľa dymu, páľava...

and all of a sudden,

A zrazu niečo vybuchlo.

there was an explosion,

Skipa a mňa odhodilo dozadu,

and Skip and I were blown backwards,

my mask was knocked sideways,

z tváre mi strhlo štít,

and there was this moment of confusion.

bola som zmätená.

And then I picked myself up,

O chvíľu som sa spamätala,

I groped for the nozzle,

schmatla som trysku

and I did what a firefighter was supposed to do:

a urobila to, čo sa očakáva od každého hasiča:

I lunged forward,

vyrazila som vpred,

opened up the water

pustila vodu

and I tackled the fire myself.

a sama bojovala s ohňom.

The explosion had been caused by a water heater,

Výbuch bol zapríčinený ohrievačom vody,

so nobody was hurt, and ultimately it was not a big deal,

takže nikto nebol zranený,

nebolo to až také vážne,

but later Skip came up to me and said,

ale neskôr za mnou prišiel Skip

a s prekvapením v hlase povedal:

"Nice job, Caroline,"

in this surprised sort of voice.

„Dobrá práca, Caroline.“

(Laughter)

(smiech)

And I was confused, because the fire hadn't been difficult physically,

To ma zmiatlo.

Ten požiar nebol fyzicky náročný,

so why was he looking at me with something like astonishment?

tak prečo sa na mňa pozeral s údivom?

And then it became clear:

A potom mi to došlo.

Skip, who was by the way a really nice guy

Skip, ktorý je mimochodom veľmi milý chlap a skvelý požiarnik,

and an excellent firefighter,

not only thought that women could not be strong,

si nielenže myslel, že ženy nie sú silné,

he thought that they could not be brave either.

ale taktiež, že nie sú dostatočne odvážne.

And he wasn't the only one.

A nebol jediný.

Friends, acquaintances and strangers,

Priatelia, známi i neznámi ľudia, muži i ženy

men and women throughout my career

sa ma počas mojej kariéry neustále pýtajú:

ask me over and over,

"Caroline, all that fire, all that danger,

„Caroline, všetok ten oheň, všetko to nebezpečenstvo,

aren't you scared?"

nebojíš sa?“

Honestly, I never heard a male firefighter asked this.

Popravde, nikdy som nepočula, že by sa to spýtali hasiča-muža.

And I became curious.

A tak ma začalo zaujímať,

Why wasn't bravery expected of women?

prečo neočakávame, že aj ženy môžu byť statočné?

Now, the answer began to come

Na odpoveď som prišla,

when a friend of mine lamented to me

keď sa kamarátka sťažovala,

that her young daughter was a big scaredy-cat,

že jej malá dcéra je veľký bojko.

and so I began to notice,

Tak som si to začala všímať.

and yes, the daughter was anxious,

Áno, jej dcéra bola úzkostlivá,

but more than that, the parents were anxious.

ale naviac, aj jej rodičia boli úzkostliví.

Most of what they said to her when she was outside began with,

Väčšina toho, čo jej hovorili, keď bola vonku, začínalo:

"Be careful," "Watch out," or "No."

„Buď opatrná“, „Dávaj si pozor“, alebo „Nie“.

Now, my friends were not bad parents.

Moji kamaráti nie sú zlí rodičia.

They were just doing what most parents do,

Iba robia to, čo väčšina rodičov,

which is cautioning their daughters much more than they caution their sons.

napomínajú svoje dcéry oveľa viac než svojich synov.

There was a study involving a playground fire pole, ironically,

Existuje štúdia, týkajúca sa preliezačiek na detských ihriskách,

in which researchers saw that little girls were very likely to be warned

kde si výskumníci všimli, že rodičia oveľa častejšie

by both their moms and dads about the fire pole's risk,

varujú dievčatá pred rizikom veží s požiarnickými tyčami,

and if the little girls still wanted to play on the fire pole,

a pokiaľ dievčatá trvajú na tom, že sa tam hrať chcú,

a parent was very likely to assist her.

často im jeden z rodičov pri tom pomáha.

But the little boys?

Ale malí chlapci?

They were encouraged to play on the fire pole

Napriek obavám, ktoré rodičia pociťujú,

despite any trepidations that they might have,

oni chlapcov povzbudzujú, aby sa na veži hrali,

and often the parents offered guidance on how to use it on their own.

a často im dávajú rady, ako prekážku zdolať samostatne.

So what message does this send to both boys and girls?

Aký odkaz tým dávame chlapcom a dievčatám?

Well, that girls are fragile and more in need of help,

Nuž, že dievčatá sú krehké a potrebujú pomoc

and that boys can and should master difficult tasks by themselves.

a že chlapci si vedia a musia vedieť poradiť s ťažkými úlohami sami.

It says that girls should be fearful

Že dievčatá by mali byť bojazlivé

and boys should be gutsy.

a chlapci by mali byť odvážni.

Now, the irony is that at this young age,

Iróniou je, že v tomto mladom veku,

girls and boys are actually very alike physically.

dievčatá a chlapci sú si fyzicky veľmi podobní.

In fact, girls are often stronger until puberty,

V skutočnosti, dievčatá sú do puberty dokonca silnejšie

and more mature.

a vyspelejšie.

And yet we adults act

A my dospelí sa napriek tomu správame,

as if girls are more fragile

ako keby dievčatá boli krehké

and more in need of help,

a potrebovali viac pomoci

and they can't handle as much.

a neboli schopné poradiť si tak ako chlapci.

This is the message that we absorb as kids,

Toto je odkaz, ktorý ako deti vstrebávame,

and this is the message that fully permeates as we grow up.

je to odkaz, ktorý do nás naplno prenikne počas dospievania.

We women believe it, men believe it,

My ženy tomu veríme, muži tiež,

and guess what?

a môžete hádať, čo nasleduje.

As we become parents, we pass it on to our children,

Keď sa staneme rodičmi, posúvame tento odkaz na naše deti

and so it goes.

a tak ďalej.

Well, so now I had my answer.

A tak som dostala odpoveď.

This is why women, even firewomen,

Toto je dôvod, prečo sa od žien, dokonca aj od požiarničiek,

were expected to be scared.

očakáva strach.

This is why women often are scared.

Preto sa ženy často boja.

Now, I know some of you won't believe me when I tell you this,

Viem, že niektorí z vás mi nebudú veriť, keď poviem,

but I am not against fear.

že nie som proti strachu.

I know it's an important emotion, and it's there to keep us safe.

Ja viem, že je to dôležitý pocit, ktorý nás drží v bezpečí.

But the problem is when fear is the primary reaction

Ale problémom je, keď sa strach stane primárnou reakciou,

that we teach and encourage in girls

ktorú povzbudzujeme a vštepujeme dievčatám,

whenever they face something outside their comfort zone.

kedykoľvek narazia na niečo nové.

So I was a paraglider pilot for many years --

Roky som sa venovala paraglidingu.

(Applause)

(potlesk)

and a paraglider is a parachute-like wing,

Klzák je niečo ako padák podobný krídlu,

and it does fly very well,

ktorý dobre lieta,

but to many people I realize it looks just like a bedsheet

mnohým pripomína posteľnú plachtu

with strings attached.

s pripevnenými šnúrkami.

(Laughter)

(smiech)

And I spent a lot of time on mountaintops

Strávila som veľa času na vrcholkoch hôr,

inflating this bedsheet,

nafukovaním tejto plachty,

running off and flying.

bežaním a lietaním.

And I know what you're thinking.

A viem, že si myslíte:

You're like, Caroline, a little fear would make sense here.

„Caroline, trochu strachu by ti tu nezaškodilo.“

And you're right, it does.

A máte pravdu.

I assure you, I did feel fear.

A môžem vás uistiť, že som sa bála.

But on that mountaintop,

Ale na vrchole hory,

waiting for the wind to come in just right,

keď som čakala na ten správny vietor,

I felt so many other things, too:

prežívala som taktiež veľa ďalších pocitov:

exhilaration, confidence.

radosť, sebadôveru...

I knew I was a good pilot.

Vedela som, že som dobrý pilot.

I knew the conditions were good, or I wouldn't be there.

Vedela som, že podmienky sú dobré, ináč by som tam nebola.

I knew how great it was going to be a thousand feet in the air.

Vedela som, aké skvelé je byť tisíc stôp nad zemou.

So yes, fear was there,

Áno, strach tam bol,

but I would take a good hard look at it,

ale dobre som sa naň pozrela

assess just how relevant it was

a ohodnotila jeho dôležitosť

and then put it where it belonged,

a umiestnila ho tam, kam patril,

which was more often than not

čo väčšinou bolo až za vzrušenie,

behind my exhilaration, my anticipation

očakávanie a moju sebaistotu.

and my confidence.

So I'm not against fear.

Takže nemám nič proti strachu.

I'm just pro-bravery.

Ale som za odvahu.

Now, I'm not saying your girls must be firefighters

Tým nechcem povedať, že vaše dcéry musia byť hasičky,

or that they should be paragliders,

alebo že by mali byť paraglajderky,

but I am saying that we are raising our girls to be timid, even helpless,

len tvrdím,

že vychovávame naše dievčatá, aby boli bojazlivé, dokonca bezbranné

and it begins when we caution them against physical risk.

a začína to, keď ich varujeme pred fyzickým rizikom.

The fear we learn and the experiences we don't

Strach, ktorému sa učíme,

a zážitky, ktoré neprežijeme,

stay with us as we become women

zostávajú s nami, aj keď sa staneme ženami

and morphs into all those things that we face and try to shed:

a formujú sa na veci, s ktorými zápasíme celý život:

our hesitation in speaking out,

na našu zdráhavosť pri verejných vystupovaniach,

our deference so that we can be liked

na podriadenosť, ktorú ukazujeme, len aby sme boli obľúbené,

and our lack of confidence in our own decisions.

na nedostatok sebaistoty pri vlastných rozhodnutiach.

So how do we become brave?

Ako sa teda stať odvážnymi?

Well, here's the good news.

Mám dobrú správu.

Bravery is learned,

Odvahe sa dá naučiť

and like anything learned,

a ako všetko, čo sa dá naučiť,

it just needs to be practiced.

potrebuje len tréning.

So first,

A tak po prvé,

we have to take a deep breath

musíme sa zhlboka nadýchnuť

and encourage our girls

a povzbudiť naše dievčatá,

to skateboard, climb trees

aby sa vozili na skateboarde a liezli po stromoch

and clamber around on that playground fire pole.

a aby sa šplhali po preliezačkách na detskom ihrisku.

This is what my own mother did.

To spravila moja mama.

She didn't know it then,

Vtedy si toho nebola vedomá,

but researchers have a name for this.

ale výskumníci majú na to pomenovanie.

They call it risky play,

Hovoria tomu riskantné hranie.

and studies show that risky play is really important for kids, all kids,

A štúdie ukázali, že je to pre všetky deti dôležité,

because it teaches hazard assessment,

pretože ich učí posúdiť riziko

it teaches delayed gratification,

a predčasne sa neradovať,

it teaches resilience,

it teaches confidence.

trénuje ich odolnosť a sebaistotu.

In other words,

Inými slovami,

when kids get outside and practice bravery,

keď deti idú von a testujú svoju odvahu,

they learn valuable life lessons.

dostávajú hodnotné lekcie života.

Second, we have to stop cautioning our girls willy-nilly.

Po druhé,

musíme prestať neustále upozorňovať naše dievčatá.

So notice next time you say,

Takže všímajte si sami seba, keď nabudúce poviete:

"Watch out, you're going to get hurt,"

„Dávaj si pozor, lebo sa zraníš“,

or, "Don't do that, it's dangerous."

alebo „Nerob to, je to nebezpečné“.

And remember that often what you're really telling her

A pamätajte, že čo jej v skutočnosti vravíte je,

is that she shouldn't be pushing herself,

že sa nemá príliš snažiť,

that she's really not good enough,

že nie je dosť dobrá

that she should be afraid.

a že by sa mala báť.

Third,

Po tretie,

we women have to start practicing bravery, too.

musíme aj my ženy začať cvičiť odvahu.

We cannot teach our girls until we teach ourselves.

Nemôžme učiť naše dievčatá, pokiaľ sa to sami nenaučíme.

So here's another thing:

Ďalej,

fear and exhilaration

strach a radosť prežívame podobne,

feel very similar --

the shaky hands, the heightened heart rate,

trasenie rúk,

zrýchlený tep,

the nervous tension,

napäté nervy.

and I'm betting that for many of you

A stavila by som sa,

the last time you thought you were scared out of your wits,

že skúsenosť, pred ktorou ste cúvli

lebo vás na smrť vyľakala,

you may have been feeling mostly exhilaration,

by väčšinu z vás posilnila

and now you've missed an opportunity.

a vy ste tak o túto príležitosť prišli.

So practice.

Takže začnite skúšať.

And while girls should be getting outside to learn to be gutsy,

Zatiaľ čo dievčatá môžu ísť von učiť sa byť odvážnymi,

I get that adults don't want to get on hoverboards or climb trees,

dospelí nebudú jazdiť na hoverboardoch a liezť po stromoch.

so we all should be practicing

Ale môžeme trénovať doma, v práci,

at home, in the office

and even right here getting up the guts

alebo aj tu,

nájsť odvahu a prihovoriť sa niekomu, koho obdivujete.

to talk to someone that you really admire.

Finally, when your girl is, let's say,

A na záver,

keď je vaša dcéra na bicykli,

on her bike on the top of the steep hill

povedzme na vrchole strmého kopca

that she insists she's too scared to go down,

a bojí sa zísť dole,

guide her to access her bravery.

veďte ju k tomu, aby sama zhodnotila svoju odvahu.

Ultimately, maybe that hill really is too steep,

Napokon, ten kopec je možno naozaj príliš strmý,

but she'll come to that conclusion through courage, not fear.

ale k tomuto záveru musí dospieť vďaka odvahe a nie zo strachu.

Because this is not about the steep hill in front of her.

Pretože toto nie je o tom strmom kopci, ktorý je pred ňou.

This is about the life ahead of her

Je to o živote, ktorý má pred sebou,

and that she has the tools

a o tom, že má prostriedky na to,

to handle and assess

aby ohodnotila a zvládla

all the dangers that we cannot protect her from,

všetky riziká, pred ktorými ju ochrániť nemôžeme,

all the challenges that we won't be there to guide her through,

a výzvy, pri ktorých jej nebudeme môcť radiť,

everything that our girls here

všetko, čomu naše dievčatá tu

and around the world

a všade budú musieť v budúcnosti čeliť.

face in their future.

So by the way,

A mimochodom,

the world record for crawling today --

momentálny svetový rekord v plazení

(Laughter)

(smiech)

is 35.18 miles,

je 35,18 míľ

(úžas)

and I would really love to see a girl go break that.

a rada by som videla nejaké dievča pokúsiť sa prekonať ho.

(Applause)

(potlesk)