David Brooks: Should you live for your résumé ... or your eulogy?

Translator: Ereblir Kadriu Reviewer: Eva Hoxha

So I've been thinking about the difference between

Kam menduar per dallimin ndermjet

the résumé virtues and the eulogy virtues.

virtyteve te rezymes dhe virtyteve te eulogjise.

The résumé virtues are the ones you put on your résumé,

Virtytet e rezymes jane ato te cilat ju i vendosni ne nje rezyme,

which are the skills you bring to the marketplace.

te cilat jane aftesite qe ju sillni ne treg.

The eulogy virtues are the ones

Virtytet e eulogjise jane ato

that get mentioned in the eulogy,

qe permenden ne nje eulogji,

which are deeper: who are you, in your depth,

te cilat jane me te thella: kush jeni ju, ne thellesine tuaj,

what is the nature of your relationships,

cila eshte natyra e marredhenies tuaj,

are you bold, loving, dependable, consistency?

a jeni guximtar, i dashur, i besueshem, i qendrueshem?

And most of us, including me, would say

Dhe shume nga ne, duke me perfshire edhe mua, do te thonin

that the eulogy virtues are the more important of the virtues.

se virtytet e eulogjise jane vitytet me te rendesishme.

But at least in my case, are they the ones that

Por te pakten ne rastin tim, a jane ato

I think about the most? And the answer is no.

per te cilat mendoj me shume? Dhe pergjigja eshte jo.

So I've been thinking about that problem,

Pra isha duke menduar per kete problem,

and a thinker who has helped me think about it

dhe nje mendimtar qe me ka ndihmuar te mendoj per kete gje

is a guy named Joseph Soloveitchik, who was a rabbi

eshte nje djale i quajtur Joseph Soloveitchik, i cili ishte nje rabin

who wrote a book called "The Lonely Man Of Faith" in 1965.

dhe ka shkruar nje liber te titulluar "Njeriu i vetmuar i besimit" ne 1965.

Soloveitchik said there are two sides of our natures,

Soloveitchik ne kete liber ka thene se jane dy ane te natyres sone,

which he called Adam I and Adam II.

te cilat ai i ka quajtur Adam I dhe Adam II.

Adam I is the worldly, ambitious,

Adam I eshte materialist, ambicioz,

external side of our nature.

ana e jashtme e natyres tone.

He wants to build, create, create companies,

Ai deshiron te ndertoje, te krijoje kompani,

create innovation.

te krijoje risi.

Adam II is the humble side of our nature.

Adam II eshte pjesa modeste e natyres sone.

Adam II wants not only to do good but to be good,

Adam II deshiron jo vetem te beje mire por te jete i mire,

to live in a way internally

te jetoje ne nje menyre

that honors God, creation and our possibilities.

qe nderon Perendine, krijesat dhe mundesite tona.

Adam I wants to conquer the world.

Adam I deshiron te pushtoje boten.

Adam II wants to hear a calling and obey the world.

Adam II deshiron te degjoj nje thirrje dhe ti bindet botes.

Adam I savors accomplishment.

Adam I i shijon arritjet.

Adam II savors inner consistency and strength.

Adam II shijon qendrueshmerine e brendshme dhe forcen.

Adam I asks how things work.

Adam I pyet sesi funksionojne gjerat.

Adam II asks why we're here.

Adam II pyet pse jemi ketu.

Adam I's motto is "success."

Motoja e Adam I eshte "suksesi"

Adam II's motto is "love, redemption and return."

Motoja e Adam II eshte 'dashuria, rimesherim dhe kthimi."

And Soloveitchik argued that these two sides

Dhe Soloveitchik argumenton se keto dy ane

of our nature are at war with each other.

te natyres tone jane ne lufte me njera-tjetren.

We live in perpetual self-confrontation

Ne jetojme ne nje vete-ballafaqim te vazhdueshem

between the external success and the internal value.

ndermjet suksesit te jashtem dhe vleres se brendshme.

And the tricky thing, I'd say, about these

Dhe gjeja e nderlikuar per keto

two sides of our nature is they work

dy ane ane te natyres tone eshte se punojne

by different logics.

nga logjika te ndryshme.

The external logic is an economic logic:

Logjika e jashtme eshte nje logjike ekonomike:

input leads to output, risk leads to reward.

te dhenat sjellin rezultate, rreziku sjell shperblim.

The internal side of our nature

Ana e brendshme e natyres tone

is a moral logic and often an inverse logic.

eshte nje logjike morale dhe shpesh nje logjike e anasjellte.

You have to give to receive.

Duhet te japesh qe te marresh.

You have to surrender to something outside yourself

Duhet ti dorezoheni dickaje jashte vetes

to gain strength within yourself.

per te fituar force brenda vetes tuaj.

You have to conquer the desire to get what you want.

Ju duhet te pushtoni deshiren qe te arrini ate qe doni.

In order to fulfill yourself, you have to forget yourself.

Ne menyre qe te plotesoni veten tuaj, ju duhet te harroni veten tuaj.

In order to find yourself, you have to lose yourself.

Ne menyre qe te gjeni veten tuaj, ju duhet ta humbisni ate.

We happen to live in a society that favors Adam I,

Ndodh qe ne jetojme ne nje shoqeri qe favorizon Adam I,

and often neglects Adam II.

dhe shpesh e neglizhon Adam II.

And the problem is, that turns you into a shrewd animal

Dhe problemi eshte se, ju ktheheni ne nje kafshe te mprehte

who treats life as a game,

e cila e trajton jeten si nje loje,

and you become a cold, calculating creature

dhe ju beheni nje krijese e ftohte dhe llogaritese

who slips into a sort of mediocrity

që rreshket ne nje lloj mediokriteti

where you realize there's a difference

ku ti ​​e kupton se ka një dallim

between your desired self and your actual self.

ndermjet unit tend te deshiruar dhe unit tend te tanishem.

You're not earning the sort of eulogy you want,

Ju nuk jeni duke fituar eulogjine qe deshironi,

you hope someone will give to you.

qe shpresoni qe dikush do te mbaje per ju.

You don't have the depth of conviction.

Ju nuk keni bindjen e thelle.

You don't have an emotional sonorousness.

Ju nuk keni nje emocion kumbues.

You don't have commitment to tasks

Ju nuk keni perkushtimin ndaj detyrave

that would take more than a lifetime to commit.

qe duan perkushtim gjate nje jete te tere.

I was reminded of a common response through history

M'u kujtua nje pergjigje e zakonshme pergjate historise

of how you build a solid Adam II,

sesi te formoni nje Adam II te forte,

how you build a depth of character.

si te formoni nje karakter te thelle.

Through history, people have gone back

Permes historise, njerezit jane kthyer pas

into their own pasts,

ne te shkuaren e tyre,

sometimes to a precious time in their life,

ndonjehere ne nje kohe te cmuar te jetes se tyre,

to their childhood,

te femijerise se tyre,

and often, the mind gravitates in the past

dhe shpesh, mendja vertitet ne te kaluaren,

to a moment of shame,

ne nje moment te turpshem,

some sin committed, some act of selfishness,

disa mekate qe jane kryer, disa fakte egoiste,

an act of omission, of shallowness,

ne një akt te mosveprimit, te cektësisë,

the sin of anger, the sin of self-pity,

mëkate zemërimi, mëkate te vetëkeqardhjes,

trying to be a people-pleaser, a lack of courage.

duke u perpjekur kenaqni te tjeret, nje mungese guximi.

Adam I is built by building on your strengths.

Adam I eshte i ndertuar mbi fuqite tuaja.

Adam II is built by fighting your weaknesses.

Adam II eshte i ndertuar duke luftuar dobesite tuaja.

You go into yourself, you find the sin

Kerkoni ne veten tuaj, e gjeni mekatin

which you've committed over and again through your life,

te cilin e keni kryer perseri dhe perseri gjate jetes suaj,

your signature sin

mekatin qe ka lene shenje

out of which the others emerge,

nga i cili burojne te tjeret,

and you fight that sin and you wrestle with that sin,

dhe ju e luftoni ate mekat dhe ju e mundni ate mekat

and out of that wrestling, that suffering,

dhe nga ajo mundje luftim, nga ajo vuajtje,

then a depth of character is constructed.

nje karakter i forte eshte krijuar.

And we're often not taught to recognize

Ne shpesh ne nuk jemi te mesuar te njohim

the sin in ourselves,

mekatin ne veten tone,

in that we're not taught in this culture

dhe ne kulturen tone ne nuk na kane mesuar

how to wrestle with it,

sesi te luftojme me te,

how to confront it, and how to combat it.

sesi te perballemi me te dhe sesi ta kundershtojme ate.

We live in a culture with an Adam I mentality

Ne jetojme në nje kulture me nje mentalitet Adam I

where we're inarticulate about Adam II.

ku ne jemi te paqarte ne lidhje me Adam II.

Finally, Reinhold Niebuhr

Se fundmi, Reinhold Niebuhr

summed up the confrontation, the fully lived

permblodhi perballjen, jeten e

Adam I and Adam II life, this way:

Adam I dhe Adam II, ne kete menyre:

"Nothing that is worth doing can be achieved in our lifetime;

"Asgje qe ja vlen te realizohet nuk mund te arrihet ne jeten tone;

therefore we must be saved by hope.

per kete arsye ne duhet te shpetohemi nga shpresa.

Nothing which is true or beautiful or good makes

Asgje qe eshte e vertete apo e bukur ose e bere mire

complete sense in any immediate context of history;

ka kuptim te plote dhe te menjehershem ne nje kontekst :

therefore we must be saved by faith.

per kete arsye ne duhet te shpetohemi nga besimi.

Nothing we do, however virtuous, can be accomplished alone;

Asgje qe ne bejme, sado e vitytshme te jete, mund te arrihet vetem;

therefore we must be saved by love.

per kete arsye ne duhet te shpetohemi nga dashuria.

No virtuous act is quite as virtuous

Asnje akt i virtytshem nuk eshte dhe aq i virtytshem

from the standpoint of our friend or foe as from our own standpoint.

nga pikepamja e miqve tane apo e armikut, apo nga pikepamja jone.

Therefore we must be saved by that final form of love,

Prandaj ne duhet te shpetohemi nga forma perfundimtare e dashurise,

which is forgiveness.”

e cila eshte falja."

Thanks.

Falemnderit.

(Applause)

(Duartrokitje)