Ananda Shankar Jayant fights cancer with dance

譯者: Jeannie Cheng 審譯者: Lin Su-Wei(林書暐)

(Music)

(音樂)

[Sanskrit]

[印度語]

This is an ode to the mother goddess,

這是歌頌女神之母

that most of us in India learn when we are children.

我們大部份的印度人在很小的時候已經學會

I learned it when I was four

我是在四歲的時候

at my mother's knee.

坐在我媽媽的膝蓋上學

That year she introduced me to dance,

那年她讓我認識舞蹈

and thus began

從那時候起

my tryst with classical dance.

我與古典舞蹈結下不解緣

Since then -- it's been four decades now --

從那時候起到現在已有四十年寒暑了

I've trained with the best in the field,

我與舞蹈界最優秀的人一起練習

performed across the globe,

穿洋過海去表演

taught young and old alike,

教導年幼和年老的人士

created, collaborated,

一起創作，互動

choreographed,

精心設計

and wove a rich tapestry

來織出一個豐富的藝術作品

of artistry, achievement and awards.

成就及獎項

The crowning glory was in 2007,

最榮幸的是在2007年

when I received this country's

當我獲得美國

fourth highest civilian award, the Padma Shri,

第四高的民間獎項， Padmashri 獎

for my contribution to art.

以肯定我對藝術的貢獻

(Applause)

(鼓掌)

But nothing, nothing prepared me

但沒有。。。沒有任何東西準備

for what I was to hear

我將在2008年七月一日

on the first of July 2008.

所聽到的事情

I heard the word "carcinoma."

我聽到 carcinoma，癌，這個字

Yes, breast cancer.

沒錯，是乳癌

As I sat dumbstruck in my doctor's office,

我在醫生的辦公室內晴天霹靂

I heard other words:

我聽到其他詞語

"cancer," "stage," "grade."

"cancer" (癌細胞), "stage" (期), "grade" (階段)

Until then, Cancer was the zodiac

直至那時，我只知道 "cancer" 是一個星座，

sign of my friend,

巨蟹座，我朋友的一個星座

stage was what I performed on,

"stage" 是我表演的地方

and grades were what I got in school.

而"grades" 是我在學校得到的學分

That day, I realized

那天我知道

I had an unwelcome, uninvited,

我有一個不受歡迎，亦沒有被邀請

new life partner.

的一個新的生命拍檔

As a dancer,

作為一個舞蹈家

I know the nine rasas or the navarasas:

我明白九種情感

anger, valor,

憤怒，勇猛，

disgust, humor

厭惡，幽默，

and fear.

和恐懼

I thought I knew what fear was.

我以為我知道什麼是恐懼

That day, I learned what fear was.

但直至那一天我才學曉恐懼

Overcome with the enormity of it all

被那種窮兇極惡的感覺壓倒

and the complete feeling of loss of control,

完全不能自控的無力感

I shed copious tears

我不斷的流下眼淚

and asked my dear husband, Jayant.

我問我親愛的丈夫，Jayant

I said, "Is this it? Is this the end of the road?

我說: 是不是這樣? 這是不是絕路?

Is this the end of my dance?"

這是不是我舞蹈事業的終結?

And he, the positive soul that he is,

而他，帶著正能量說:

said, "No, this is just a hiatus,

不是，這只是一個障礙

a hiatus during the treatment,

在治療中的一個跨越

and you'll get back to doing what you do best."

而你將會回復你以往那般優秀

I realized then

我從那一刻明白到

that I, who thought I had complete control of my life,

我一直以為我能完全控制我我生命

had control of only three things:

其實只是控制了三件東西

My thought, my mind --

我的思想，我的意志 --

the images that these thoughts created --

即我在腦海中所創造的影象 --

and the action that derived from it.

以及從那衍生出來的動作

So here I was wallowing

那時我的內心在

in a vortex of emotions

這些不同的情感裡爭扎

and depression and what have you,

內心的失落

with the enormity of the situation,

加上那窮兇極惡的處境

wanting to go to a place of healing, health and happiness.

與想被醫治，那健康快樂的地方在交戰

I wanted to go from where I was

我想從我以往的那樣

to where I wanted to be,

到我理想的樣子

for which I needed something.

我需要一些東西

I needed something that would pull me out of all this.

我需要一些東西把我從這些中拉出來

So I dried my tears,

我抹乾我的淚水

and I declared to the world at large ...

我向世界宣佈

I said, "Cancer's only one page in my life,

癌症只是我生命的一頁

and I will not allow this page to impact the rest of my life."

而我不會讓這一頁影響我餘下的人生

I also declared to the world at large

我向世界宣佈

that I would ride it out,

我會克服它

and I would not allow cancer to ride me.

我不會讓癌症擊敗我

But to go from where I was

但要從我這樣

to where I wanted to be,

到我想的那樣

I needed something.

我需要一些東西

I needed an anchor, an image,

我需要一個靠山，一個形象

a peg

一個依據

to peg this process on,

來把這個過程給繫上

so that I could go from there.

從而使我出發

And I found that in my dance,

我在我的舞蹈中找到它

my dance, my strength, my energy, my passion,

我的舞蹈，我的潛能，我的力量，我的熱誠

my very life breath.

我生命的氣息

But it wasn't easy.

但這不容易

Believe me, it definitely wasn't easy.

相信我，這絕對的不容易

How do you keep cheer

你要如何保持開朗

when you go from beautiful

當你在三天內從美麗

to bald in three days?

變成禿子

How do you not despair

你要怎樣才不沮喪

when, with the body ravaged by chemotherapy,

當你的身體被化療毀壞

climbing a mere flight of stairs was sheer torture,

爬上僅僅的數個樓梯也是折磨的時候

that to someone like me who could dance for three hours?

有什麼人能像我跳三個小時的舞

How do you not get overwhelmed

你要怎樣不被

by the despair and the misery of it all?

沮喪和悲慘給壓倒

All I wanted to do was curl up and weep.

我所希望做的只有縮在一角飲泣

But I kept telling myself fear and tears

但我不斷告訴我自己，恐懼和淚水

are options I did not have.

不是我唯一的選擇

So I would drag myself into my dance studio --

因此我把我自己拖到我的跳舞室

body, mind and spirit -- every day into my dance studio,

我的身體、思想和意志。每天來到我的跳舞室

and learn everything I learned

重新學習的從四歲以來

when I was four, all over again,

所學過的

reworked, relearned, regrouped.

重新作、重新學習、重新組合

It was excruciatingly painful, but I did it.

這是極其痛苦的，但我做到了

Difficult.

非常困難

I focused on my mudras,

我專注在我的馬德拉舞中

on the imagery of my dance,

專注在我舞蹈的演繹中

on the poetry and the metaphor

專注在詩篇中和比喻中

and the philosophy of the dance itself.

還有舞蹈本身的哲學

And slowly, I moved out

慢慢地，我從

of that miserable state of mind.

那個低谷的狀況下走出來

But I needed something else.

但我需要其他東西

I needed something to go that extra mile,

需要能支持我走多一步的東西

and I found it in that metaphor

而我找到了這個比喻

which I had learned from my mother when I was four.

這個比喻是當我在四歲的時候從我媽媽身上學到的

The metaphor of Mahishasura Mardhini,

是Mahesh Mahatmya裡

of Durga.

Durga 的象徵

Durga, the mother goddess, the fearless one,

Durga 眾女神之母，無懼之神

created by the pantheon of Hindu gods.

是印度教諸神殿所創造

Durga, resplendent, bedecked, beautiful,

Durga 是華麗的，點綴的，美麗的

her 18 arms

她有十八雙手

ready for warfare,

準備戰爭

as she rode astride her lion

她騎在她的獅子上

into the battlefield to destroy Mahishasur.

進入戰場擊敗Mahishasur

Durga, the epitome

Durga 是

of creative feminine energy,

創意女性能力的化身

or shakti.

或是印度語 shakti

Durga, the fearless one.

Durga，無懼之神

I made that image of Durga

我將Durga女神的形象

and her every attribute, her every nuance,

她的每一特質，每一細微差別

my very own.

轉化成我自己

Powered by the symbology of a myth

從她的神話的象徵

and the passion of my training,

與及我對訓練的熱情得到能量

I brought laser-sharp focus into my dance,

我高度的專注在我的舞蹈中

laser-sharp focus to such an extent

這個高度的專注讓我在

that I danced a few weeks after surgery.

手術數星期後便跳舞

I danced through chemo and radiation cycles,

我在化療和放射線過程中亦有跳

much to the dismay of my oncologist.

這令我的治療師很驚慌

I danced between chemo and radiation cycles

我在化療和放射線過程中跳舞

and badgered him to fit it

我要他遷就

to my performing dance schedule.

我的表演時間

What I had done

我所做的是

is I had tuned out of cancer

從癌症中調轉出來

and tuned into my dance.

再專注在我的舞蹈當中

Yes, cancer has just been one page in my life.

沒錯，癌症只是我生命中的一頁罷了

My story

我的故事是一個有關

is a story of overcoming setbacks,

如何克服

obstacles and challenges

生命上所遇到的挫折、

that life throws at you.

障礙和挑戰的故事

My story is the power of thought.

我的故事是意念的力量

My story is the power of choice.

亦是選擇的力量

It's the power of focus.

是集中的能力

It's the power of bringing ourselves

是把我們重新去注意

to the attention of something that so animates you,

那些激勵你的

so moves you,

感動你的事情的力量

that something even like cancer becomes insignificant.

那些連癌症也變得不重要的事情

My story is the power of a metaphor.

我的故事是隱喻的力量

It's the power of an image.

是影象的威力

Mine was that of Durga,

我的是印度女神Durga

Durga the fearless one.

Durga，無懼者

She was also called Simhanandini,

她亦名叫 Simhanandini

the one who rode the lion.

那個騎在獅子上的女神

As I ride out,

好像讓我安全渡過

as I ride my own inner strength,

好像在支配我的內在潛能

my own inner resilience,

我自身的內在回復

armed as I am with what medication can provide

好像在我接受治療時得到保護

and continue treatment,

和不斷的治療

as I ride out into the battlefield of cancer,

好像讓我馳騁於癌症的戰場上

asking my rogue cells to behave,

好叫我的惡細胞檢點一些

I want to be known not as a cancer survivor,

我想被人知道，我不只是一個癌症幸存者

but as a cancer conqueror.

而是癌症鬥士

I present to you an excerpt of that work

我現在為你們呈獻舞曲

"Simhanandini."

Simhanandani 的節錄

(Applause)

(鼓掌)

(Music)

(音樂)

(Applause)

(鼓掌)