Ananda Shankar Jayant fights cancer with dance

30,902 views ・ 2010-06-18

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Prevoditelj: Marijana Mijat Recezent: Mislav Ante Omazić - EFZG
00:16
(Music)
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(Glazba)
00:58
[Sanskrit]
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[Sanskrt]
01:05
This is an ode to the mother goddess,
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Ovo je oda božici majci
01:07
that most of us in India learn when we are children.
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oda koju većina nas u Indiji nauči još u djetinjstvu.
01:13
I learned it when I was four
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Ja sam je naučila s četiri godine
01:15
at my mother's knee.
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na majčinu koljenu.
01:20
That year she introduced me to dance,
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Te godine majka me uvela u ples.
01:23
and thus began
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I tako je počela
01:25
my tryst with classical dance.
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moja veza s klasičnim plesom.
01:28
Since then -- it's been four decades now --
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Od tada -- prošla su već četiri desetljeća --
01:32
I've trained with the best in the field,
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vježbala sam s najboljima u tom području,
01:34
performed across the globe,
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plesala diljem zemaljske kugle,
01:36
taught young and old alike,
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podučavala i mlade i stare,
01:39
created, collaborated,
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stvarala, surađivala,
01:41
choreographed,
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radila na koreografiji,
01:43
and wove a rich tapestry
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i tkala bogatu tapiseriju
01:45
of artistry, achievement and awards.
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umjetnosti, postignuća i nagrada.
01:49
The crowning glory was in 2007,
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Kruna moje slave došla je 2007,
01:52
when I received this country's
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kad sam primila državnu nagradu,
01:54
fourth highest civilian award, the Padma Shri,
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četvrtu najvišu civilnu nagradu, Padmashri,
01:56
for my contribution to art.
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za svoj umjetnički doprinos.
01:58
(Applause)
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(Pljesak)
02:02
But nothing, nothing prepared me
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Ali ništa, baš ništa me nije pripremilo
02:05
for what I was to hear
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na ono što mi je rečeno
02:08
on the first of July 2008.
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1. srpnja 2008.
02:11
I heard the word "carcinoma."
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Čula sam riječ "karcinom".
02:14
Yes, breast cancer.
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Da, rak dojke.
02:17
As I sat dumbstruck in my doctor's office,
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Dok sam skamenjeno sjedila u ordinaciji svog liječnika,
02:22
I heard other words:
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čula sam druge riječi,
02:24
"cancer," "stage," "grade."
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"rak", "stadij", "stupanj".
02:27
Until then, Cancer was the zodiac
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Dotada je rak bio horoskopski
02:29
sign of my friend,
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znak mog prijatelja,
02:31
stage was what I performed on,
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pozornica (stadij) je bilo mjesto na kojemu sam plesala,
02:34
and grades were what I got in school.
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a ocjene (stupanj) su bile ono što sam dobivala u školi.
02:39
That day, I realized
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Toga dana sam ustanovila
02:41
I had an unwelcome, uninvited,
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da imam neželjenog, nezvanog,
02:44
new life partner.
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novog životnog partnera.
02:47
As a dancer,
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Kao plesačica,
02:49
I know the nine rasas or the navarasas:
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poznajem devet rasa ili navarasa:
02:52
anger, valor,
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srdžbu, hrabrost,
02:54
disgust, humor
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gađenje, humor
02:56
and fear.
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i strah.
02:58
I thought I knew what fear was.
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Mislila sam da znam što je strah.
03:00
That day, I learned what fear was.
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Tog dana, upoznala sam strah.
03:04
Overcome with the enormity of it all
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Svladana strahotom svega toga
03:07
and the complete feeling of loss of control,
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i potpunim osjećajem gubitka kontrole,
03:09
I shed copious tears
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prolila sam brojne suze
03:11
and asked my dear husband, Jayant.
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i zapitala svog dragog muža Jayanta.
03:14
I said, "Is this it? Is this the end of the road?
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Rekla sam, "Je li to to? Je li ovo kraj puta?
03:17
Is this the end of my dance?"
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Je li to kraj mog plesa?"
03:20
And he, the positive soul that he is,
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A on je, optimističan kakav jest,
03:23
said, "No, this is just a hiatus,
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rekao, "Ne, ovo je samo prekid,
03:26
a hiatus during the treatment,
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prekid za vrijeme liječenja,
03:28
and you'll get back to doing what you do best."
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a ti ćeš poslije toga ponovno raditi ono što ti najbolje ide."
03:32
I realized then
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Tada sam otkrila
03:34
that I, who thought I had complete control of my life,
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da ja koja sam vjerovala da imam kontrolu nad svojim životom,
03:37
had control of only three things:
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kontroliram samo tri stvari:
03:40
My thought, my mind --
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Svoju misao, svoju svijest --
03:43
the images that these thoughts created --
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slike koje su te misli stvarale --
03:45
and the action that derived from it.
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i postupke koji su iz toga proizlazili.
03:48
So here I was wallowing
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I tako sam se koprcala
03:50
in a vortex of emotions
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u vrtlogu osjećaja
03:52
and depression and what have you,
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i depresije i svega što dolazi
03:54
with the enormity of the situation,
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s užasom situacije,
03:57
wanting to go to a place of healing, health and happiness.
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želeći otići na mjesto oporavka, zdravlja i sreće.
04:01
I wanted to go from where I was
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Željela sam otići s mjesta na kojem sam bila
04:03
to where I wanted to be,
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na mjesto gdje sam htjela biti,
04:05
for which I needed something.
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a za to sam trebala nešto.
04:08
I needed something that would pull me out of all this.
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Trebala sam nešto što bi me izvuklo iz svega ovoga.
04:11
So I dried my tears,
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Zato sam obrisala suze,
04:13
and I declared to the world at large ...
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i objavila cijelom svijetu ...
04:16
I said, "Cancer's only one page in my life,
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Rekla sam, "Rak je samo jedna stranica mog života,
04:19
and I will not allow this page to impact the rest of my life."
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i neću joj dopustiti da utječe na ostatak mog života."
04:23
I also declared to the world at large
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Također sam cijelom svijetu objavila
04:25
that I would ride it out,
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da ću izmoriti rak
04:27
and I would not allow cancer to ride me.
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i neću mu dopustiti da upravlja mnome.
04:29
But to go from where I was
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Ali da bih otišla s mjesta na kojem sam bila
04:31
to where I wanted to be,
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na mjesto gdje sam htjela biti,
04:33
I needed something.
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trebala sam nešto.
04:35
I needed an anchor, an image,
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Neko sidro, sliku,
04:37
a peg
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klin
04:39
to peg this process on,
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koji bi me držao,
04:41
so that I could go from there.
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tako da se mogu izvući odatle.
04:44
And I found that in my dance,
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Pronašla sam to u svom plesu,
04:48
my dance, my strength, my energy, my passion,
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svom plesu, svojoj snazi, svojoj energiji, svojoj strasti,
04:50
my very life breath.
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samom svojem životnom dahu.
04:53
But it wasn't easy.
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Ali nije bilo lako.
04:55
Believe me, it definitely wasn't easy.
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Vjerujte mi, uopće nije bilo lako.
04:58
How do you keep cheer
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Kako ostati vedra
05:00
when you go from beautiful
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kad se iz ljepotice
05:02
to bald in three days?
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u tri dana pretvoriš u ćelavicu?
05:05
How do you not despair
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Kako ne očajavati
05:08
when, with the body ravaged by chemotherapy,
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kad je, za tijelo poharano kemoterapijom,
05:11
climbing a mere flight of stairs was sheer torture,
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uspon uz nekoliko stepenica bio jednak mučenju,
05:14
that to someone like me who could dance for three hours?
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i to za nekoga poput mene tko je mogao plesati po tri sata?
05:19
How do you not get overwhelmed
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Kako ne pokleknuti
05:21
by the despair and the misery of it all?
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pod očajem i jadom svega toga?
05:24
All I wanted to do was curl up and weep.
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Samo sam se željela sklupčati i plakati.
05:27
But I kept telling myself fear and tears
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Ali sam si nastavila govoriti kako su strah i suze
05:29
are options I did not have.
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izbor koji zapravo nemam.
05:32
So I would drag myself into my dance studio --
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I zato bih se dovukla do svog plesnog studija,
05:35
body, mind and spirit -- every day into my dance studio,
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tijelo, um i duh, svakoga dana u svoj plesni studio,
05:38
and learn everything I learned
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i učila bih sve što sam naučila
05:40
when I was four, all over again,
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s četiri godine, sve ispočetka,
05:42
reworked, relearned, regrouped.
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ponovno bih radila, učila, grupirala.
05:45
It was excruciatingly painful, but I did it.
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Bilo je strahovito bolno, ali sam uspjela.
05:48
Difficult.
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Teško.
05:51
I focused on my mudras,
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Usredotočila sam se na mudre,
05:54
on the imagery of my dance,
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na slikovitost svog plesa,
05:56
on the poetry and the metaphor
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na poetiku i metaforu
05:58
and the philosophy of the dance itself.
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i na filozofiju samog plesa.
06:00
And slowly, I moved out
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I polako bih izlazila
06:02
of that miserable state of mind.
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iz onog jadnog stanja svijesti.
06:06
But I needed something else.
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Ali trebalo mi je još nešto.
06:08
I needed something to go that extra mile,
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Trebala sam nešto da bih učinila onaj jedan korak više.
06:11
and I found it in that metaphor
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I našla sam to u metaforičkoj priči
06:13
which I had learned from my mother when I was four.
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koju sam naučila od svoje majke kad sam imala četiri godine.
06:16
The metaphor of Mahishasura Mardhini,
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Metafora Mahishasura Mardhini,
06:19
of Durga.
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o Durgi.
06:21
Durga, the mother goddess, the fearless one,
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Durga, božica majka, neustrašiva,
06:24
created by the pantheon of Hindu gods.
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nastala u panteonu hinduističkih božanstava.
06:27
Durga, resplendent, bedecked, beautiful,
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Durga, blistava, nakićena, lijepa,
06:31
her 18 arms
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sa svojih 18 ruku
06:33
ready for warfare,
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spremna za bitke,
06:35
as she rode astride her lion
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dok jaše na svom lavu
06:38
into the battlefield to destroy Mahishasur.
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prema bojištu kako bi uništila Mahishu.
06:42
Durga, the epitome
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Durga, utjelovljenje
06:44
of creative feminine energy,
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kreativne ženske energije
06:46
or shakti.
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shakti.
06:48
Durga, the fearless one.
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Durga, neustrašiva.
06:50
I made that image of Durga
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Stvorila sam sliku Durge
06:52
and her every attribute, her every nuance,
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i svake njene osobine, svake nijanse,
06:54
my very own.
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svojom vlastitom.
06:56
Powered by the symbology of a myth
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Snagom mitske simbolike
06:59
and the passion of my training,
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i strasti svojeg vježbanja,
07:02
I brought laser-sharp focus into my dance,
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u svoj ples sam unijela vrhunsku koncentraciju.
07:05
laser-sharp focus to such an extent
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Izoštrenu do te mjere,
07:07
that I danced a few weeks after surgery.
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da sam plesala nekoliko tjedana nakon operacije.
07:10
I danced through chemo and radiation cycles,
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Plesala sam kroz kemoterapiju i zračenja,
07:13
much to the dismay of my oncologist.
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na užas svog onkologa.
07:16
I danced between chemo and radiation cycles
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Plesala sam između ciklusa kemoterapija i zračenja
07:18
and badgered him to fit it
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i gnjavila ga da ih prilagodi
07:20
to my performing dance schedule.
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mojem rasporedu plesnih nastupa.
07:25
What I had done
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Ono što sam napravila
07:27
is I had tuned out of cancer
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jest to da sam se isključila iz raka
07:29
and tuned into my dance.
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i povezala sa svojim plesom.
07:33
Yes, cancer has just been one page in my life.
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Da, rak je bio samo jedna stranica mog života.
07:38
My story
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Moja priča
07:40
is a story of overcoming setbacks,
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je priča o svladavanju prepreka,
07:42
obstacles and challenges
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smetnji i izazova
07:44
that life throws at you.
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koje vam život postavlja.
07:46
My story is the power of thought.
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Moja priča je moć misli,
07:49
My story is the power of choice.
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Moja priča je moć izbora.
07:52
It's the power of focus.
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Moć koncentracije.
07:54
It's the power of bringing ourselves
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Moć usmjeravanja vlastite pažnje
07:57
to the attention of something that so animates you,
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nečemu što nas tako pokreće,
08:00
so moves you,
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što nas tako pomakne,
08:02
that something even like cancer becomes insignificant.
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da čak i nešto poput raka postaje nebitno.
08:05
My story is the power of a metaphor.
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Moja priča je snaga metafore.
08:07
It's the power of an image.
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Snaga slike.
08:09
Mine was that of Durga,
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Moja je bila slika Durge,
08:11
Durga the fearless one.
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Durge - neustrašive.
08:14
She was also called Simhanandini,
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Zvali su je i Simhanandini,
08:16
the one who rode the lion.
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ona koja jaše lava.
08:20
As I ride out,
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Dok ja jašem dalje,
08:22
as I ride my own inner strength,
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dok jašem na svojoj vlastitoj unutrašnjoj snazi,
08:24
my own inner resilience,
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svojoj unutrašnjoj izdržljivosti,
08:26
armed as I am with what medication can provide
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naoružana onim što lijekovi mogu dati
08:29
and continue treatment,
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i dok nastavljam liječenje,
08:31
as I ride out into the battlefield of cancer,
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dok jašem na bojno polje raka,
08:33
asking my rogue cells to behave,
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naređujući svojim odmetnutim stanicama da budu dobre,
08:38
I want to be known not as a cancer survivor,
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želim biti poznata, ne kao ona koja je preživjela rak,
08:41
but as a cancer conqueror.
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nego kao ona koja je pobijedila rak.
08:43
I present to you an excerpt of that work
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Ovo je dio mog rada
08:45
"Simhanandini."
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"Simhanandini."
08:48
(Applause)
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(Pljesak)
08:51
(Music)
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(Glazba)
15:24
(Applause)
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(Pljesak)
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