Roxane Gay: Confessions of a bad feminist | TED

翻译人员: Min WANG 校对人员: Deying Hu

I am failing as a woman,

作为一个女人我很失败，

I am failing as a feminist.

作为一个女权主义者我也很失败。

I have passionate opinions about gender equality,

我非常支持性别平等，

but I worry that to freely accept the label of "feminist,"

但是我会担心， 如果我坦然接受“女权主义者”这个称号，

would not be fair to good feminists.

对那些优秀的女权主义者不公平。

我是一个女权主义者， 但我是一个相当不称职的女权主义者。

I'm a feminist, but I'm a rather bad one.

Oh, so I call myself a Bad Feminist.

哦, 所以我叫我自己“一个不良女权主义者”。

Or at least, I wrote an essay,

或者至少，我写过一篇文章，

and then I wrote a book called "Bad Feminist,"

又写了一本书，叫《坏女权主义者》，

and then in interviews, people started calling me The Bad Feminist.

然后在采访中， 大家开始叫我“那个坏女权主义者”。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

So, what started as a bit of an inside joke with myself

所以，这个一开始跟自己开的玩笑，

and a willful provocation,

带着对自己故意的挑衅，

has become a thing.

变成了一个实在的东西。

Let me take a step back.

退一步讲，

When I was younger,

我年轻的时候，

mostly in my teens and 20s,

大概青少年时期，

I had strange ideas about feminists

我对女权主义者有些奇怪的误解。

as hairy, angry, man-hating, sex-hating women --

比如她们体毛很多，易怒， 憎恨男性，憎恨性，

as if those are bad things.

就好像她们是不好的东西。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

These days, I look at how women are treated the world over,

现在，我看到了这个世界如何对待女性，

and anger, in particular, seems like a perfectly reasonable response.

似乎愤怒是最合理的回应。

But back then,

但是在以前，

I worried about the tone people used

当人们在暗示我， 我是一个女权主义者的时候，

when suggesting I might be a feminist.

他们的语气让我担心。

The feminist label was an accusation,

女权主义者这个标签更像是一种指控。

it was an "F" word, and not a nice one.

这是一个以“F”开头的词，而且不是个“好”的词。

I was labeled a woman who doesn't play by the rules,

我被打上“不按规则来”，

who expects too much,

“期待的太多”，

who thinks far too highly of myself,

“自我感觉太好”的女性的标签，

by daring to believe I'm equal -- (Coughs) -- superior to a man.

仅仅是因为我敢于去相信， 我和男人一样优秀。

You don't want to be that rebel woman,

直到意识到你就是这样的，

until you realize that you very much are that woman,

并且不敢去想象变成别的样子，

and cannot imagine being anyone else.

你才会想要做这样一个反叛的女性。

As I got older, I began to accept

当年龄渐长，我开始去接受，

that I am, indeed, a feminist, and a proud one.

我确实是一个女权主义者，并且为之自豪。

I hold certain truths to be self-evident:

我秉持着这样的信念：

Women are equal to men.

男女平等。

We deserve equal pay for equal work.

我们应该享受同工同酬。

We have the right to move through the world as we choose,

我们有权利以自己想要的方式在世上行走，

free from harassment or violence.

不受到任何骚扰或者暴力。

We have the right to easy, affordable access to birth control,

我们有权享受简单， 可以支付得起的避孕方式，

and reproductive services.

和生殖健康服务。

We have the right to make choices about our bodies,

我们有权利为自己的身体作出决定，

free from legislative oversight or evangelical doctrine.

不受法律监管或者宗教教条束缚。

We have the right to respect.

我们有权尊重别人和受到别人的尊重。

There's more.

还有更多。

When we talk about the needs of women,

当我们谈论到女性的需求，

we have to consider the other identities we inhabit.

我们也要考虑到我们所具有的其他属性。

We are not just women.

我们不仅仅是女性，

We are people with different bodies,

我们形体不同，

gender expressions, faiths, sexualities,

性别表达不同，

信念，性取向，所处社会阶层，能力等等都不同。

class backgrounds, abilities, and so much more.

We need to take into account

当我们在考虑我们有哪些共同点的时候，

these differences and how they affect us,

也要考虑到这些不同之处

as much as we account for what we have in common.

以及这些不同之处是在如何影响我们。

Without this kind of inclusion, our feminism is nothing.

不把两方面都囊括进去， 女权主义没有意义。

I hold these truths to be self-evident, but let me be clear:

我认为这些是不容否认的事实， 但还是要澄清，

I'm a mess.

我自己很乱。

I am full of contradictions.

充满了矛盾。

There are many ways in which I'm doing feminism wrong.

很多时候我错误的实行了女权主义。

I have another confession.

我要再忏悔一次。

When I drive to work, I listen to thuggish rap at a very loud volume.

当我开车去上班时， 我用很大的音量听（内容）残暴的饶舌歌。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

Even though the lyrics are degrading to women --

即使歌词是在贬低女性，

these lyrics offend me to my core --

让我深深地感到被冒犯。

the classic Yin Yang Twins song "Salt Shaker" --

Ying Yang Twins有首著名的歌，”Salt Shaker“,

it is amazing.

特别“棒”。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

"Make it work with your wet t-shirt.

“利用你湿透的T恤”。

Bitch, you gotta shake it 'til your camel starts to hurt!"

“婊子，你要摇起来， 直到你的下身开始疼！”

(Laughter)

（笑声）

Think about it.

大家想想。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

Poetry, right?

像诗一样，是不是？

I am utterly mortified by my music choices.

我得说我需要改变在音乐上的偏好。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

I firmly believe in man work,

我坚定地相信有的男性的工作。

which is anything I don't want to do, including --

是我不想做的，比如

(Laughter) --

（笑声）

all domestic tasks,

所有家务，

but also: bug killing, trash removal, lawn care and vehicle maintenance.

还有杀虫，扔垃圾，修剪草坪，修车。

I want no part of any of that.

我一点都不想做这些。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

Pink is my favorite color.

我最喜欢的颜色是粉色。

I enjoy fashion magazines and pretty things.

我喜欢时尚杂志和漂亮的东西。

I watch "The Bachelor" and romantic comedies,

我看”The Bachelor“(美国一档真人秀) 和浪漫爱情喜剧。

and I have absurd fantasies about fairy tales coming true.

我还对童话故事在现实中实现 有着荒诞的想象。

Some of my transgressions are more flagrant.

我有些错误更让人不能忍。

If a woman wants to take her husband's name,

如果一位女性想要把姓改成她老公的，

that is her choice, and it is not my place to judge.

那是她的选择，我没有权利去评价。

If a woman chooses to stay home to raise her children,

如果一位女性选择在家带孩子，

I embrace that choice, too.

我也支持她的决定。

The problem is not that she makes herself economically vulnerable in that choice;

问题并不是她的决定让她在经济上处于劣势；

the problem is that our society is set up

问题是我们的社会形态

to make women economically vulnerable when they choose.

导致女性在做出选择时就会处于经济上的劣势。

Let's deal with that.

让我们来解决这个问题。

(Applause)

（掌声）

I reject the mainstream feminism

我拒绝主流的女权主义，

that has historically ignored or deflected the needs

因为它一直以来忽略或者扭曲了

of women of color, working-class women, queer women and transgender women,

有色人种中的女性，工薪阶层中的女性， 同性恋或者变性者中女性的需求，

in favor of supporting white, middle- and upper-class straight women.

而只是有力的支持中上流社会里异性恋的白人女性。

Listen, if that's good feminism -- I am a very bad feminist.

听着，如果那才是好的女权主义， 我就是一名非常坏的女权主义者。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

There is also this:

还有，

作为一名女权主义者，我感到压力很大。

As a feminist, I feel a lot of pressure.

We have this tendency to put visible feminists on a pedestal.

我们总是把女权主义者捧上神坛。

We expect them to pose perfectly.

我们期望他们表现完美。

When they disappoint us,

当他们让我们失望，

we gleefully knock them from the very pedestal we put them on.

我们会很高兴地把他们从神坛上踢下来。

Like I said, I am a mess --

我说过，我自己很乱，

consider me knocked off that pedestal

所以与其把我捧上神坛，

before you ever try to put me up there.

不如把我踢下来吧。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

Too many women,

有太多女性，

particularly groundbreaking women and industry leaders,

尤其是一些打破桎梏的女性以及商界领袖，

are afraid to be labeled as feminists.

都害怕被称为女权主义者。

They're afraid to stand up and say, "Yes, I am a feminist,"

他们不敢站出来说，“没错，我是女权主义者”。

for fear of what that label means,

他们害怕这个标签的意义，

for fear of being unable to live up to unrealistic expectations.

害怕做不到被加在身上的那些不现实的预期。

Take, for example, Beyoncé, or as I call her, The Goddess.

比如说，碧昂斯，我叫她“女神”。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

She has emerged, in recent years, as a visible feminist.

近些年她以一名女权主义者的形象出现。

At the 2014 MTV Video Music Awards,

在2014 MTV颁奖典礼上，

she performed in front of the word "feminist" 10 feet high.

她在10英尺的高台上， 站在“女权主义者”的牌子前表演。

It was a glorious spectacle to see

那场景真的是无与伦比的精彩表演。

this pop star openly embracing feminism

这位明星公开的拥护女权主义，

and letting young women and men know

让年轻人们知道，

that being a feminist is something to celebrate.

成为一名女权主义者是件值得庆贺的事。

As the moment faded, cultural critics began endlessly debating

当这一时刻渐渐被人们淡忘， 文艺批评家们又开始无休无止的讨论

whether or not Beyoncé was, indeed, a feminist.

碧昂斯到底是不是个女权主义者。

They graded her feminism,

他们给她表现出的女权主义打分，

instead of simply taking a grown, accomplished woman at her word.

而不是简单地接受一个成熟， 优秀的女性自己的说法。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

(Applause)

（掌声）

We demand perfection from feminists,

我们对女权主义者力求完美，

because we are still fighting for so much,

因为我们还在为了很多事情战斗，

we want so much,

我们想要这样，

we need so damn much.

我们太需要这样了。

We go far beyond reasonable, constructive criticism,

我们不再提出合理的，建设性的批评，

to dissecting any given woman's feminism,

而是自己剖析任何女性所表现出的女权主义，

tearing it apart until there's nothing left.

并彻底毁灭它。

We do not need to do that.

我们本不必这样做。

Bad feminism -- or really, more inclusive feminism -- is a starting point.

坏的女权主义，或者说， 更具包容性的女权主义，只是个开始。

But what happens next?

但是接下来会发生什么？

We go from acknowledging our imperfections to accountability,

我们要承认我们的不足并为其负责，

or walking the walk, and being a little bit brave.

或者继续做我们承诺过的事情， 但要勇敢一点。

If I listen to degrading music,

如果我听有贬低性语言的歌曲，

I am creating a demand for which artists are more than happy

我就为这些艺术家提供了一个需求，

to contribute a limitless supply.

而他们求之不得。

These artists are not going to change

如果我们不要求他们改变他们的底线，

how they talk about women in their songs

这些艺术家就不会改变

until we demand that change by affecting their bottom line.

他们在歌里描述女性的方式。

Certainly, it is difficult.

当然，（改变他们的底线）很困难。

Why must it be so catchy?

但这样做到底有什么吸引人之处呢？

(Laughter)

（笑声）

It's hard to make the better choice,

做出一个更好的选择很难，

and it is so easy to justify a lesser one.

但是证明一个选择不那么好却很容易。

But --

但是

when I justify bad choices,

当我证明那些坏的的选择的时候，

I make it harder for women to achieve equality,

我的做法使得

the equality that we all deserve,

女性更难获得应有的平等，

and I need to own that.

我不得不承认。

I think of my nieces, ages three and four.

我想到了我的两个侄女，一个三岁，一个四岁。

They are gorgeous and headstrong, brilliant girls,

她们俩特别可爱，聪明又固执。

who are a whole lot of brave.

还特别的勇敢。

I want them to thrive in a world where they are valued

我希望他们能在一个能让她们的优秀品质

for the powerful creatures they are.

得到肯定的世界长大。

I think of them,

我想到了她们，

and suddenly, the better choice becomes far easier to make.

突然的，要做出更好的选择，变的更容易。

We can all make better choices.

我们都能做出更好的选择。

We can change the channel when a television show

我们可以在电视上出现 对女性表现性暴力的节目的时候换台，

treats sexual violence against women like sport,

比如体育节目，

Game of Thrones.

比如电视剧《权利的游戏》。

We can change the radio station

我们可以在听见电台里播放

when we hear songs that treat women as nothing.

对女性弃如敝履的歌曲时换台。

We can spend our box office dollars elsewhere

我们可以选择看别的电影

when movies don't treat women

如果电影不善待女性角色，

as anything more than decorative objects.

而只是把她们作为点缀性角色。

We can stop supporting professional sports

如果运动员们只把自己的同伴当做沙袋，

where the athletes treat their partners like punching bags.

我们也可以不再支持竞技运动。

(Applause)

（掌声）

In other ways, men -- and especially straight white men --

另外，男性们，尤其是异性恋的白人男性，

can say, "No, I will not publish with your magazine,

可以说，除非有一定数量的女性参与决策，

or participate in your project, or otherwise work with you,

我不会出版你的杂志，

until you include a fair number of women,

参与你的项目，

both as participants and decision makers.

或者跟你一起工作。

I won't work with you until your publication,

我不会与你共事，除非你的出版物，

or your organization, is more inclusive of all kinds of difference."

或者你的组织里包含了所有不同的人和事物。

Those of us who are underrepresented

我们当中那些被低估了

and invited to participate in such projects,

并且受邀参与这些项目的人，

can also decline to be included

也可以在没有更多的人

until more of us are invited through the glass ceiling,

打破常规参与进来之前，

and we are tokens no more.

拒绝参与。

Without these efforts,

如果不做出这样的努力，

without taking these stands,

不去反抗（那些不平等的待遇），

our accomplishments are going to mean very little.

我们的个人成就所具有的意义将不那么重大。

We can commit these small acts of bravery

我们鼓起勇气做出这些看上去并不重大的举动，

and hope that our choices trickle upward to the people in power --

希望能以积水成海的力量 去影响那些更有权利和地位的人，

editors, movie and music producers,

比如主编们，电影和音乐制作人们，

CEOs, lawmakers --

公司CEO们，法律制定者，

the people who can make bigger, braver choices

等等那些可以做出更大更勇敢的决定的人，

to create lasting, meaningful change.

由他们去创造更深远的影响。

We can also boldly claim our feminism --

我们也可以大胆的宣布我们的女权主义，

good, bad, or anywhere in between.

不管是好的还是坏的， 或者介于二者之间的。

The last line of my book "Bad Feminist" says,

我的书《坏女权主义者》里最后一句话是这样的，

"I would rather be a bad feminist than no feminist at all."

“比起什么都不做， 我宁愿做一个坏的女权主义者。”

This is true for so many reasons,

我这样说的原因有很多，

but first and foremost, I say this because once upon a time,

但是最重要的是，曾经一度，

my voice was stolen from me,

我无法表达自己的意见，

and feminism helped me to get my voice back.

是女权主义帮我赢回了这一权利。

There was an incident.

我曾经发生过一次意外。

I call it an incident so I can carry the burden of what happened.

我把它叫做意外， 让我可以感觉不那么沉重。

Some boys broke me,

有些男孩伤害了我。

when I was so young, I did not know

我当时很年轻， 根本不知道为了伤害一个女孩，

what boys can do to break a girl.

他们能做出什么样的事情。

They treated me like I was nothing.

他们像对待废物一样对待我。

I began to believe I was nothing.

让我开始觉得我就是个废物。

They stole my voice, and in the after,

他们夺走了我发表意见的权利，

I did not dare to believe

之后我都不敢想象，

that anything I might say could matter.

我说的话会有任何的意义。

But --

但是，

I had writing.

我还能写作。

And there, I wrote myself back together.

我通过写作来找回自己。

I wrote myself toward a stronger version of myself.

我通过写作把自己锻炼的更强大。

I read the words of women

我读了一些女性写的文章，

who might understand a story like mine,

她们可能能理解我的经历，

and women who looked like me,

或者跟我经历过相似的事情，

and understood what it was like to move through the world with brown skin.

所以能明白棕色皮肤的人所面对的是怎样一个世界。

I read the words of women who showed me I was not nothing.

她们的文章让我觉得我并非一无是处。

I learned to write like them,

我学着像她们一样写作。

and then I learned to write as myself.

然后再以自己的风格写作。

I found my voice again,

我又重新找回了话语权，

and I started to believe that my voice is powerful beyond measure.

并且开始相信我的想法意见 有着无法估量的力量。

Through writing and feminism,

通过写作和实践女权主义，

I also found that if I was a little bit brave,

我还发现了如果我能勇敢一点，

another woman might hear me and see me and recognize

其他女性就可以听到我的演讲，看到我，

that none of us are the nothing the world tries to tell us we are.

然后意识到， 我们并不像这世界告诉我们的那样无能。

In one hand,

这只手，

I hold the power to accomplish anything.

掌握着能完成任何任务的力量。

And in my other,

这另一只手，

I hold the humbling reality that I am just one woman.

掌握着一个事实， 我其实只是一个女人。

I am a bad feminist,

我是一个坏的女权主义者。

I am a good woman,

我是一个好女人。

I am trying to become better in how I think,

在不放弃任何人类属性的前提下，

and what I say, and what I do,

我试着改进自己的思维方式，

without abandoning everything that makes me human.

表达方式和行为方式。

I hope that we can all do the same.

我希望我们都能这样。

I hope that we can all be a little bit brave,

我希望当我们需要勇气的时候，

when we most need such bravery.

我们都能勇敢一点。

(Applause)

（掌声）