Roxane Gay: Confessions of a bad feminist | TED

Translator: Liis Oblikas Reviewer: Merili Reck

I am failing as a woman,

Ma põrun naisena.

I am failing as a feminist.

Ma põrun feministina.

I have passionate opinions about gender equality,

Mul on kirglikud arvamused soolisest võrdõiguslikkusest,

but I worry that to freely accept the label of "feminist,"

aga ma muretsen, et ennast feministiks nimetades

would not be fair to good feminists.

teen ma ülekohut tõelistele feministidele.

I'm a feminist, but I'm a rather bad one.

Ma olen feminist, aga mitte eriti hea.

Oh, so I call myself a Bad Feminist.

Seega kutsun ennast Halvaks Feministiks.

Or at least, I wrote an essay,

Või vähemalt kirjutasin ma essee

and then I wrote a book called "Bad Feminist,"

ja siis raamatu "Halb feminist"

and then in interviews, people started calling me The Bad Feminist.

ja siis hakkasid inimesed mind intervjuudes Halvaks Feministiks kutsuma.

(Laughter)

(Naer)

So, what started as a bit of an inside joke with myself

Seega miski, mis sai alguse tobedast naljast

and a willful provocation,

ja tahtlikust provokatsioonist,

has become a thing.

kinnistus tõsiasjana.

Let me take a step back.

Astume korraks sammu tagasi.

When I was younger,

Kui ma olin noorem,

mostly in my teens and 20s,

nii teismeeas kui 20ndates,

I had strange ideas about feminists

olid mul imelik arusaam feministidest

as hairy, angry, man-hating, sex-hating women --

kui karvastest, vihastest, mehi ja seksi vihkavatest naistest,

as if those are bad things.

nagu need kõik oleks halvad asjad.

(Laughter)

(Naer)

These days, I look at how women are treated the world over,

Praegusel ajal vaatan ma aga, kuidas naisi koheldakse

and anger, in particular, seems like a perfectly reasonable response.

ning viha näib loomuliku reaktsioonina.

But back then,

Kunagi aga muretsesin ma aga sellepärast,

I worried about the tone people used

mis hääletooni inimesed kasutasid,

when suggesting I might be a feminist.

kui mind feministiks kutsusid.

The feminist label was an accusation,

Feministiks nimetamine oli süüdistus.

it was an "F" word, and not a nice one.

See oli f-sõna ja mitte hea tähendusega.

I was labeled a woman who doesn't play by the rules,

Mind nimetati naiseks, kes ei mängi reeglite järgi,

who expects too much,

kes ootab teiselt liiga palju,

who thinks far too highly of myself,

kes arvab endast liiga hästi,

by daring to believe I'm equal -- (Coughs) -- superior to a man.

sest julgeb uskuda, et on meestega võrdne (Köhatamised) või isegi parem.

You don't want to be that rebel woman,

Sa ei taha olla see mässaja naine

until you realize that you very much are that woman,

kuni sa avastad, et oled vägagi see naine

and cannot imagine being anyone else.

ning ei suuda ennast kellegi teisena ette kujutada.

As I got older, I began to accept

Vanemaks saades hakkasin aktsepteerima, et

that I am, indeed, a feminist, and a proud one.

ma olen tõesti feminist ja selle üle uhke.

I hold certain truths to be self-evident:

Minu jaoks on mõned tõsiasjad iseenesestmõistetavad.

Women are equal to men.

Naised on meestega võrdsed.

We deserve equal pay for equal work.

Me väärime võrdse töö eest võrdset palka.

We have the right to move through the world as we choose,

Meil on õigus maailmas vabalt ringi liikuda,

free from harassment or violence.

kartmata ahistamist ja vägivalda.

We have the right to easy, affordable access to birth control,

Õigus ligipääsetavatele

ja odavatele

rasestumisvastastele

and reproductive services.

vahenditele.

We have the right to make choices about our bodies,

Meil on õigus teha oma keha kohta otsuseid

free from legislative oversight or evangelical doctrine.

sõltumata seadustest ja usulistest doktriinidest.

We have the right to respect.

Meil on õigus austusele.

There's more.

Veelgi enam.

When we talk about the needs of women,

Kui rääkida naiste

vajadustest, peame me kaaluma

we have to consider the other identities we inhabit.

enda kõiki identiteete.

We are not just women.

Me pole ainult naised.

We are people with different bodies,

Me oleme inimesed erinevate kehade,

gender expressions, faiths, sexualities,

sooidentiteetide, uskude, seksuaalsuste,

class backgrounds, abilities, and so much more.

klassikuuluvuste, oskuste ja palju muuga.

We need to take into account

Me peame arvestama neid

these differences and how they affect us,

erinevusi ning seda, kuidas need meid mõjutavad,

as much as we account for what we have in common.

samamoodi nagu me märkame seda, mis on meil kõigil ühine.

Without this kind of inclusion, our feminism is nothing.

Feminism peaks arvesse võtma kõiki erinevaid tahke.

I hold these truths to be self-evident, but let me be clear:

Minu jaoks on need reeglid iseenesest- mõistetavad, aga las ma selgitan.

I'm a mess.

Ka mina olen segaduses.

I am full of contradictions.

Minus on palju vasturääkivusi.

There are many ways in which I'm doing feminism wrong.

Paljuski olen ma valesti feminist.

I have another confession.

Mul on teinegi ülestunnistus.

When I drive to work, I listen to thuggish rap at a very loud volume.

Tööle sõites kuulan ma väga kõvasti gangstalikku räppi.

(Laughter)

(Naer)

Even though the lyrics are degrading to women --

Olgugi, et sõnad on

naiste suhtes alandavad.

these lyrics offend me to my core --

Mind solvavad need väga.

the classic Yin Yang Twins song "Salt Shaker" --

See klassikaline Ying Yang Twinsi laul "Salt Shaker"

it is amazing.

on imeline.

(Laughter)

(Naer)

"Make it work with your wet t-shirt.

"Tantsi oma märjas T-särgis.

Bitch, you gotta shake it 'til your camel starts to hurt!"

Naine, sa pead seda raputama kuni su sääremarjad valutavad."

(Laughter)

(Naer)

Think about it.

Mõelge selle peale.

(Laughter)

(Naer)

Poetry, right?

Luuleline, eks?

I am utterly mortified by my music choices.

Mind ennastki heidutab mu muusikamaitse.

(Laughter)

(Naer)

I firmly believe in man work,

Ma usun, et on olemas meeste tööd,

which is anything I don't want to do, including --

ehk siis kõik, mida ma ei taha teha, nagu näiteks

(Laughter) --

(Naer)

all domestic tasks,

kõik kodutööd,

but also: bug killing, trash removal, lawn care and vehicle maintenance.

aga ka putukatõrje, prügi väljaviimine, muruniitmine ja autoparandus.

I want no part of any of that.

Ma ei taha sellega mingit tegemist teha

(Laughter)

(Naer)

Pink is my favorite color.

Mu lemmikvärv on roosa.

I enjoy fashion magazines and pretty things.

Mulle meeldivad moeajakirjad ja

ilusad asjad.

I watch "The Bachelor" and romantic comedies,

Ma vaatan "Poissmeest" ja

romantilisi komöödiaid

and I have absurd fantasies about fairy tales coming true.

ja ma unistan,

et muinasjutud saaks teoks.

Some of my transgressions are more flagrant.

Mõned mu patud on aga veelgi karjuvamad.

If a woman wants to take her husband's name,

Kui naine tahab võtta mehe nime, on see tema valik

that is her choice, and it is not my place to judge.

ning mina ei tohi arvustada.

If a woman chooses to stay home to raise her children,

Kui naine tahab jääda koju ja lapsi kasvatada,

I embrace that choice, too.

toetan ma ka seda otsust.

The problem is not that she makes herself economically vulnerable in that choice;

Probleem pole selles, et nii teeb naine ennast majanduslikult haavatavaks;

the problem is that our society is set up

probleem on selles, et ühiskond on selline, et

to make women economically vulnerable when they choose.

teeb naised sellisel juhul majanduslikult haavatavaks.

Let's deal with that.

Tegeleme hoopis sellega.

(Applause)

(Aplaus)

I reject the mainstream feminism

Ma ei toeta põhivoolu feminismi, mis on

that has historically ignored or deflected the needs

ajalooliselt ignoreerinud või vältinud

of women of color, working-class women, queer women and transgender women,

mustanahaliste, töölisklassi, gei ning sugu vahetanud naiste vajadusi,

in favor of supporting white, middle- and upper-class straight women.

et toetada valgenahalisi kesk- ja kõrgklassi heteronaisi.

Listen, if that's good feminism -- I am a very bad feminist.

Kuulge, kui see on hea feminism, olen ma väga halb feminist.

(Laughter)

(Naer)

There is also this:

Lisaks olen ma

As a feminist, I feel a lot of pressure.

feministina tohutu surve all.

We have this tendency to put visible feminists on a pedestal.

Meil on harjumus asetada kuulsad feministid pjedestaalile.

We expect them to pose perfectly.

Me tahame, et nad oleksid perfektsed.

When they disappoint us,

Kui me neis pettume,

we gleefully knock them from the very pedestal we put them on.

tõukame nad meeleldi selle sama pjedestaali otsast alla.

Like I said, I am a mess --

Nagu ma ütlesin, olen ma üks suur äpardus.

consider me knocked off that pedestal

Mind tõugati alla veel enne, kui

before you ever try to put me up there.

mind sinna õieti pandi.

(Laughter)

(Naer)

Too many women,

Liiga paljud naised -

particularly groundbreaking women and industry leaders,

eriti erakordsed naised ja juhid,

are afraid to be labeled as feminists.

kardavad ennast feministiks nimetada.

They're afraid to stand up and say, "Yes, I am a feminist,"

Nad kardavad seista ja öelda: "Jah, ma olen feminist!",

for fear of what that label means,

sest nad kardavad, mida see võib tähendada

for fear of being unable to live up to unrealistic expectations.

ning et nad ehk ei suuda ebareaalsetele ootustele vastata.

Take, for example, Beyoncé, or as I call her, The Goddess.

Võtke näiteks Beyonce või nagu mina teda kutsun - "Jumalanna".

(Laughter)

(Naer)

She has emerged, in recent years, as a visible feminist.

Viimastel aastatel on ta tõusnud esile, kui selge feminist.

At the 2014 MTV Video Music Awards,

2014 aasta MTV galal

she performed in front of the word "feminist" 10 feet high.

esines to 10 jala kõrguse feministi sildi ees.

It was a glorious spectacle to see

On imeline näha seda pop-staari

this pop star openly embracing feminism

avalikult feminismi omaks võtmas

and letting young women and men know

ning noortele naistele ja meestele

that being a feminist is something to celebrate.

näitamas, et see pole häbiasi.

As the moment faded, cultural critics began endlessly debating

Kui see hetk möödus hakkas lõputu kultuurikriitikute vaidlus teemal,

whether or not Beyoncé was, indeed, a feminist.

kas Beyonce tõesti on feminist.

They graded her feminism,

Nad hindasid ta feminismi, selle asemel

instead of simply taking a grown, accomplished woman at her word.

et uskuda täiskasvanud ja austusväärse naise sõnu.

(Laughter)

(Naer)

(Applause)

(Aplaus)

We demand perfection from feminists,

Me nõuame feministidelt täiuslikkust,

because we are still fighting for so much,

kuna me võitleme veel nii palju eest,

we want so much,

me tahame rohkemat

we need so damn much.

ja vajame rohkemat.

We go far beyond reasonable, constructive criticism,

Me hülgame vajaliku konstruktiivse kriitika

to dissecting any given woman's feminism,

ning lahkame iga naise feminismi,

tearing it apart until there's nothing left.

kiskudes seda osadeks kuni midagi pole järel.

We do not need to do that.

Me ei pea seda tegema.

Bad feminism -- or really, more inclusive feminism -- is a starting point.

Halb feminism - või pigem kõikehõlmavam feminism, oleks alguspunkt.

But what happens next?

Kuid mis saab edasi?

We go from acknowledging our imperfections to accountability,

Me liigume oma vigade tunnistamisest vastutuseni või siis

or walking the walk, and being a little bit brave.

võtame riski ja oleme natuke julged.

If I listen to degrading music,

Solvava muusika kuulamisega aitan ma kaasa

I am creating a demand for which artists are more than happy

nõudlusele, mille täitmisega on artistid rohkem kui valmis tegelema

to contribute a limitless supply.

ja lõputult tootma.

These artists are not going to change

Need artistid ei muuda seda, kuidas nad

how they talk about women in their songs

oma lauludes naistest räägivad

until we demand that change by affecting their bottom line.

kuni me seda neilt müüginumbreid mõjutades just ei nõua.

Certainly, it is difficult.

Kindlasti on see raske.

Why must it be so catchy?

Miks peab see laul nii nakkav olema?

(Laughter)

(Naer)

It's hard to make the better choice,

Neid paremaid otsuseid on raske teha ja

and it is so easy to justify a lesser one.

neid halvemaid nii lihtne õigustada.

But --

Aga

when I justify bad choices,

Kui ma õigustan halbasid valikuid

I make it harder for women to achieve equality,

teen ma naistele võrdsuse saavutamise raskemaks.

the equality that we all deserve,

Võrdsuse, mida me kõik väärime

and I need to own that.

ja ma pean seda tunnistama.

I think of my nieces, ages three and four.

Ma mõtlen oma 3- ja 4-aastaste õetütarde peale.

They are gorgeous and headstrong, brilliant girls,

Nad on imeilusad, tugevad ja targad tüdrukud,

who are a whole lot of brave.

kes on ka väga julged.

I want them to thrive in a world where they are valued

Ma tahan, et nad oleks edukad ja et neid väärtustataks

for the powerful creatures they are.

nende imeliste tugevuste pärast.

I think of them,

Kui ma nende peale

and suddenly, the better choice becomes far easier to make.

mõtlen, muutub õigete

otsuste tegemine palju lihtsamaks

We can all make better choices.

Me saame kõik paremaid valikuid teha.

We can change the channel when a television show

Me saamet vahetada telekanalit,

treats sexual violence against women like sport,

kui naistevastast seksuaalvägivalda koheldakse spordina.

Game of Thrones.

Troonide mäng.

We can change the radio station

Me saame vahetada raadiojaama,

when we hear songs that treat women as nothing.

kui kuuleme laulu, mis kohtleb naisi tühja kohana.

We can spend our box office dollars elsewhere

Me saame kulutada oma raha mujal,

when movies don't treat women

kui filmid ei kohtle naisi muu

as anything more than decorative objects.

kui iluobjektidena.

We can stop supporting professional sports

Me saame lõpetada sprodialade toetamise, milles

where the athletes treat their partners like punching bags.

sportlased kohtlevad oma kaaslasi, kui peksukotte.

(Applause)

(Aplaus)

In other ways, men -- and especially straight white men --

Lisaks sellele saavad mehed, eriti valged heteromehed öelda:

can say, "No, I will not publish with your magazine,

"Ma ei ilmu su ajakirjas,

or participate in your project, or otherwise work with you,

ei osale su projektis ega tee sinuga koostööd

until you include a fair number of women,

kuni sa ei kaasa õiglast arvu naisi

both as participants and decision makers.

osalejate ja osustajatena.

I won't work with you until your publication,

Ma ei tööta koos kuni su organisatsioon

or your organization, is more inclusive of all kinds of difference."

ei kaasa rohkem erinevaid inimesi."

Those of us who are underrepresented

Need meist, kes on väheselt esindatud

and invited to participate in such projects,

ning kutsutud sellistele projektidele,

can also decline to be included

saaksid keelduda

until more of us are invited through the glass ceiling,

kuni rohkematel lubatakse ületada see nähtamatu barjäär

and we are tokens no more.

ning me pole enam objektid.

Without these efforts,

Ilma selliste jõupingutuste

without taking these stands,

ja seisukohtadeta

our accomplishments are going to mean very little.

tähendavad meie pingutused väga vähe.

We can commit these small acts of bravery

Me saame teha selliseid väikseid julgeid tegusid

and hope that our choices trickle upward to the people in power --

ning loota, et need jõuavad nendeni, kellel on võimu -

editors, movie and music producers,

toimetajad, filmi- ja muusikaprodutsendid,

CEOs, lawmakers --

juhid, seadusloojad-

the people who can make bigger, braver choices

inimesed, kes saavad teha suuremaid

ja tähtsamaid valikuid,

to create lasting, meaningful change.

mis viivad kestvate muutusteni.

We can also boldly claim our feminism --

Me saame ka julgelt oma feminismi tunnistada:

good, bad, or anywhere in between.

head, halba või vahepealset.

The last line of my book "Bad Feminist" says,

Mu raamatu "Halb feminist" viimane rida on:

"I would rather be a bad feminist than no feminist at all."

ma oleks pigem halb feminist kui üldse mitte.

This is true for so many reasons,

See on nii mitmetel põhjustel tõsi,

but first and foremost, I say this because once upon a time,

kuid ennekõike ütlen ma seda, sest kunagi

my voice was stolen from me,

võeti minult mu hääl

and feminism helped me to get my voice back.

ning feminism aitas mul selle tagasi saada.

There was an incident.

Oli üks juhtum.

I call it an incident so I can carry the burden of what happened.

Ma kutsun seda nii, et oma koormat kanda.

Some boys broke me,

Ühe poisid murdsid mu,

when I was so young, I did not know

kui olin alles nii noor, et ei

what boys can do to break a girl.

teadnud mida nad saavad teha, et tüdrukut murda.

They treated me like I was nothing.

Nad kohtlesid mind nagu tühja kohta.

I began to believe I was nothing.

Ma hakkasingi arvama, et olen tühi koht

They stole my voice, and in the after,

Nad võtsid mult hääle, mille

I did not dare to believe

tagajärjel ei uskunud ma,

that anything I might say could matter.

et miski, mida ma ütlen, võiks oluline olla.

But --

Kuid siiski.

I had writing.

Ma tegelesin kirjutamisega.

And there, I wrote myself back together.

Ma kirjutasin ennast uuesti tervikuks.

I wrote myself toward a stronger version of myself.

Ma kirjutasin ennast tugevamaks.

I read the words of women

Ma lugesin naiste sõnu, kes

who might understand a story like mine,

võiksid mu lugu mõista

and women who looked like me,

ning nägid minu moodi välja

and understood what it was like to move through the world with brown skin.

ning mõistsid, mis tunne on tumedanahalisena elada.

I read the words of women who showed me I was not nothing.

Ma lugesin naiste kirjutisi, mis näitasid mulle, et ma pole tühi koht.

I learned to write like them,

Ma õppisin kirjutama nagu nemad

and then I learned to write as myself.

ning siis nagu mina.

I found my voice again,

Ma leidsin oma hääle

and I started to believe that my voice is powerful beyond measure.

ning hakkasin uskuma, et see on uskumatult võimas.

Through writing and feminism,

Kirjutamise ja feminismi kaudu

I also found that if I was a little bit brave,

avastasin ma, et kui ma olen

isegi ainult natuke julge,

another woman might hear me and see me and recognize

võib keegi teine naine mind kuulda ja näha ja aru saada, et

that none of us are the nothing the world tries to tell us we are.

keegi meist ei ole see tühi koht, millena meisse suhtutakse.

In one hand,

Ühes käes hoian ma

I hold the power to accomplish anything.

tugevust saavutada kõike.

And in my other,

Teises aga tagasihoidlikku tõde,

I hold the humbling reality that I am just one woman.

et ma olen vaid üks naine.

I am a bad feminist,

Ma olen halb feminist.

I am a good woman,

Ma olen hea naine.

I am trying to become better in how I think,

Ma püüan paremaks saada selles, mida ma mõtlen,

and what I say, and what I do,

mida ütlen ja mida teen,

without abandoning everything that makes me human.

hülgamata oma inimlikkust.

I hope that we can all do the same.

Ma loodan, et me suudame kõik sama teha.

I hope that we can all be a little bit brave,

Ma loodan, et saame kõik natuke julged olla,

when we most need such bravery.

ajal, mil me seda enim vajame.

(Applause)

(Aplaus)