Embrace the Shake | Phil Hansen | TED Talks

Translator: Joseph Geni Reviewer: Morton Bast

Prevodilac: Bojana Murisic Lektor: Ivana Korom

So, when I was in art school,

Kada sam bio u umetničkoj školi,

I developed a shake in my hand,

počela je da mi podrhtava ruka,

and this was the straightest line I could draw.

i ovako je izgledala najbolja prava linija koju sam umeo da nacrtam.

Now in hindsight, it was actually good for some things,

Kada se osvrnem na taj period, moja ruka bila je za neke stvari korisna.

like mixing a can of paint or shaking a Polaroid,

Na primer, za mućkanje kantice sa farbom ili sušenje polaroid slike.

but at the time this was really doomsday.

Ali u isto vreme bila je i mana

This was the destruction of my dream of becoming an artist.

koja je sprečavala da postanem umetnik.

The shake developed out of, really,

Podrhtavanje ruke nastalo je iz moje želje

a single-minded pursuit of pointillism,

da što bolje razumem posebnu slikarsku tehniku - pointilizam,

just years of making tiny, tiny dots.

iz godina crtanja vrlo malih tačaka.

And eventually these dots went from being perfectly round

Vremenom ove moje tačke zbog podrhtavanja ruke

to looking more like tadpoles, because of the shake.

izgledale su više kao mrlje.

So to compensate, I'd hold the pen tighter,

Da bih to ispravio, počeo sam jako da stiskam olovku,

and this progressively made the shake worse,

zbog čega mi je ruka sve više drhtala

so I'd hold the pen tighter still.

i zbog čega sam ja nastavio još vise da stiskam olovku.

And this became a vicious cycle that ended up

Ovaj proces se vrteo u krug,

causing so much pain and joint issues,

ruka me je bolela i imao sam problem sa tetivama.

I had trouble holding anything.

Nisam skoro ništa mogao da držim.

And after spending all my life wanting to do art,

Nakon moje silne želje da postanem slikar,

I left art school, and then I left art completely.

napustio sam umetničku školu i potom u potpunosti i samo slikanje.

But after a few years, I just couldn't stay away from art,

Nakon nekoliko godina, nisam mogao više da izdržim bez umetnosti.

and I decided to go to a neurologist about the shake

Obratio sam se neurologu

and discovered I had permanent nerve damage.

koji mi je rekao da sam u potpunosti oštetio živac u ruci.

And he actually took one look at my squiggly line,

Potom je video jednu od krivih linija koju sam nacrtao i rekao:

and said, "Well, why don't you just embrace the shake?"

"Zašto ne bi prihvatio sebe takvim kakav jesi?"

So I did. I went home, I grabbed a pencil,

Poslušao sam ga. Otišao sam kući, uzeo olovku

and I just started letting my hand shake and shake.

i dopustio mojoj ruci da se trese.

I was making all these scribble pictures.

Nacrtao sam nekoliko skica drhtavom rukom.

And even though it wasn't the kind of art

Iako moje skice nisu bile nalik slikama

that I was ultimately passionate about, it felt great.

kojima sam se divio, osećao sam se odlično.

And more importantly, once I embraced the shake,

Što je još važnije, kada sam prihvatio sebe u potpunosti,

I realized I could still make art.

shvatio sam da mogu da nastavim da slikam.

I just had to find a different approach

Trebalo je samo da nađem drukčiji pristup

to making the art that I wanted.

kako bih mogao da slikam onako kako sam ja to želeo.

Now, I still enjoyed the fragmentation of pointillism,

Jos uvek uživam u pointilizmu

seeing these little tiny dots come together

gledajući kako se te male tačke grupišu u veće,

to make this unified whole.

a potom i u jednu celinu.

So I began experimenting with other ways to fragment images

Potom sam počeo da eksperimentišem sa drugim načinima slikanja

where the shake wouldn't affect the work,

kod kojih podrhtaj ruke ne bi uticao na kvalitet slike.

like dipping my feet in paint and walking on a canvas,

Kao, na primer, slikanje pomoću stopala

or, in a 3D structure consisting of two-by-fours,

ili slikanje trodimenzionog objekta

creating a 2D image by burning it with a blowtorch.

koji bi postao dvodimenzioni koristeći posebnu tehniku paljenja.

I discovered that, if I worked on a larger scale and with bigger materials,

Shvatio sam da ako budem radio sa većim materijalima,

my hand really wouldn't hurt,

ruka me neće boleti.

and after having gone from a single approach to art,

Nakon mog jednosmernog shvatanja umetnosti,

I ended up having an approach to creativity

razvio sam neki potpuno drugi oblik kreativnosti

that completely changed my artistic horizons.

koji je promenio moj pogled na umetnost.

This was the first time I'd encountered this idea

Tada sam prvi put video

that embracing a limitation could actually drive creativity.

da ako prihvatim svoju manu mogu da postanem kreativniji.

At the time, I was finishing up school,

U tom periodu je trebalo da završim umetničku školu

and I was so excited to get a real job and finally afford new art supplies.

i bio sam uzbuđen jer ću se zaposliti i moći da kupim slikarski pribor.

I had this horrible little set of tools, and I felt like

Do tada sam imao samo skroman pribor i osećao sam

I could do so much more with the supplies

da bih uz pomoć pravog pribora,

I thought an artist was supposed to have.

koji bi svaki umetnik trebalo da ima, mogao postići znatno više.

I actually didn't even have a regular pair of scissors.

Nisam čak imao ni prave makaze.

I was using these metal shears until I stole a pair

Koristio sam neke neprilagođene sve dok jedne nisam ukrao

from the office that I worked at.

iz kancelarije u kojoj sam radio.

So I got out of school, I got a job, I got a paycheck,

Završio sam školu, dobio sam posao, a sa njim i prvi ček

I got myself to the art store,

i hitro sam otišao do radnje

and I just went nuts buying supplies.

gde sam kupio mnogo toga za slikanje.

And then when I got home, I sat down

Kada sam došao kući,

and I set myself to task to really try to create something

zadao sam sebi zadatak

just completely outside of the box.

da nacrtam nešto zaista neobično.

But I sat there for hours, and nothing came to mind.

Uzaludno sam satima sedeo.

The same thing the next day, and then the next,

Isto se ponovilo i sutradan i dan nakon toga,

quickly slipping into a creative slump.

a ja sam počeo da gubim veru u sebe.

And I was in a dark place for a long time, unable to create.

Dugo je trajao ovaj osećaj.

And it didn't make any sense, because I was finally able

Nije imalo smisla, jer napokon sam mogao da se izdržavam

to support my art, and yet I was creatively blank.

ali je to bilo nebitno. Nisam bio kreativan.

But as I searched around in the darkness,

Kada sam počeo da analiziram svoj osećaj,

I realized I was actually paralyzed by all of the choices

shvatio sam da me je mučio silan broj mogućnosti

that I never had before.

koje ranije nisam imao.

And it was then that I thought back to my jittery hands.

Tada sam se setio mog drhtanja i poruke

Embrace the shake.

''Prihvati sebe''.

And I realized, if I ever wanted my creativity back,

Shvatio sam da ako želim da povratim moju kreativnost,

I had to quit trying so hard to think outside of the box

treba da prestanem sebe da silim u želji da nacrtam nešto neobično.

and get back into it.

Treba samo da počnem sa običnim.

I wondered, could you become more creative, then,

Razmišljao sam da li čovek postaje kreativan

by looking for limitations?

ako traga za svojim manama.

What if I could only create with a dollar's worth of supplies?

Šta recimo ako imam mogućnost da slikam koristeći samo vrlo jeftin pribor?

At this point, I was spending a lot of my evenings in --

U tom periodu često sam večeri provodio u kafiću Starbaks

well, I guess I still spend a lot of my evenings in Starbucks —

gde idem i dan danas.

but I know you can ask for an extra cup if you want one,

Ako vam treba, možete uzeti dodatnu čašu

so I decided to ask for 50.

pa sam naručio 50.

Surprisingly, they just handed them right over,

Iznenađujuće, svih 50 su mi dali.

and then with some pencils I already had,

Potom sam uz pomoć olovaka

I made this project for only 80 cents.

nacrtao nešto uz pomoć pribora koji me je koštao samo 80 centi.

It really became a moment of clarification for me

Postalo mi je jasno

that we need to first be limited

da čoveku nešto prvo treba da bude oduzeto

in order to become limitless.

kako bi shvatio da ga to oduzeto ne može sprečiti da se ostvari.

I took this approach of thinking inside the box

Potom sam počeo da razmišljam

to my canvas, and wondered what if, instead of

šta ako nacrtam nešto obično,

painting on a canvas, I could only paint on my chest?

ali ne na platnu već na svojim grudima.

So I painted 30 images, one layer at a time,

Pa sam nacrtao 30 skica, sloj po sloj,

one on top of another,

jedna na drugu.

with each picture representing an influence in my life.

Svaka je predstavljala neki događaj u mom životu.

Or what if, instead of painting with a brush,

Ili recimo, šta ako umesto četkice,

I could only paint with karate chops? (Laughter)

počnem da slikam koristeći pokrete kao u karateu? (Smeh)

So I'd dip my hands in paint,

Umočio sam ruke u farbu

and I just attacked the canvas,

i napao sam platno

and I actually hit so hard that I bruised a joint in my pinkie

toliko da sam dobio masnice na malom prstu

and it was stuck straight for a couple of weeks.

i nisam mogao da ga pomerim nekoliko nedelja.

(Laughter) (Applause)

(Smeh) (Aplauz)

Or, what if instead of relying on myself,

Ili recimo, šta ako se umesto na sebe,

I had to rely on other people

oslonim na druge

to create the content for the art?

kako bi mi pomogli da dobijem nove ideje?

So for six days, I lived in front of a webcam.

Šest dana sam sedeo ispred laptop kamere,

I slept on the floor and I ate takeout,

spavao sam na podu i neredovno jeo,

and I asked people to call me and share a story with me

i tražio od ljudi da sa mnom podele priču

about a life-changing moment.

koja im je promenila život.

Their stories became the art

Njihove priče postale su umetnost

as I wrote them onto the revolving canvas.

jer sam njihove reči ispisivao na platno koje se okreće.

(Applause)

(Aplauz)

Or what if instead of making art to display,

Šta recimo da umesto izlaganja umetničkih dela

I had to destroy it?

ja odlučim da ih uništim kada ih nacrtam?

This seemed like the ultimate limitation,

Za mene je to izgledalo vrlo interesantno,

being an artist without art.

biti umetnik bez svog dela.

This destruction idea turned into a yearlong project

Ova ideja pratila me je godinu dana.

that I called Goodbye Art,

Pretvorila se u projekat koji sam zvao "Zbogom umetnosti".

where each and every piece of art had to be destroyed after its creation.

Svako delo uništavao bih nakon njegove izrade.

In the beginning of Goodbye Art, I focused on

U početku ovog projekta nastojao sam

forced destruction, like this image of Jimi Hendrix,

da na silu uništim dela kao recimo ovog Džimija Hendriksa

made with over 7,000 matches.

koji je napravljen od 7000 šibica.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

Then I opened it up to creating art that was destroyed naturally.

Potom sam pravio dela koja bi se prirodnim putem uništila.

I looked for temporary materials,

Tragao sam za kratkotrajnim materijalima,

like spitting out food --

kao recimo pljuvanje hrane -

(Laughter) —

(Smeh)

sidewalk chalk

kreda sa trotoara

and even frozen wine.

ili čak zamrznuto vino.

The last iteration of destruction

Poslednji deo projekta

was to try to produce something that didn't actually exist in the first place.

bio je da napravim nešto što uopšte nikada nije ni postojalo.

So I organized candles on a table, I lit them, and then blew them out,

Postavio sam sveće na sto, zapalio ih, a potom i ugasio.

then repeated this process over and over with the same set of candles,

Potom sam isto to ponovio sa istim brojem sveća,

then assembled the videos into the larger image.

a zatim od toga napravio veću sliku.

So the end image was never visible as a physical whole.

Ona nije sama po sebi nikada postojala.

It was destroyed before it ever existed.

Bila je uništena pre nego što je i nastala.

In the course of this Goodbye Art series,

Tokom mog projekta "Zbogom umetnosti",

I created 23 different pieces

napravio sam 23 različita dela,

with nothing left to physically display.

a ništa iza njih nije ostalo.

What I thought would be the ultimate limitation

Ono što sam smatrao za ograničenost

actually turned out to be the ultimate liberation,

postalo je sloboda.

as each time I created,

Svaki put kada bih nešto stvorio,

the destruction brought me back to a neutral place

proces uništenja me je doveo na neutralno mesto

where I felt refreshed and ready to start the next project.

gde sam se osećao spremnim da započnem novo delo.

It did not happen overnight.

Naravno, nije sve ovo išlo sa lakoćom.

There were times when my projects failed to get off the ground,

Bilo je momenata kada nisam bio motivisan da radim

or, even worse, after spending tons of time on them

ili još gore, kada sam određeno vreme proveo radeći

the end image was kind of embarrassing.

ali je krajnji rezultat bio mizeran.

But having committed to the process, I continued on,

Ali, pošto sam sebi zadao cilj, nastavio sam

and something really surprising came out of this.

i nešto iznenađujuće je proizašlo iz svega ovoga.

As I destroyed each project,

Kako sam uništavao dela,

I was learning to let go,

učio sam da se odvojim od stvari

let go of outcomes, let go of failures,

od krajnjeg cilja, neuspeha

and let go of imperfections.

i mana.

And in return, I found a process of creating art

Za uzvrat našao sam proces stvaranja umetnosti

that's perpetual and unencumbered by results.

koji je neograničen i na koji ne utiče krajnji rezultat

I found myself in a state of constant creation,

Postao sam motivisan

thinking only of what's next

i stalno razmišljao šta ću sledeće da nacrtam i stvorim.

and coming up with more ideas than ever.

Imao sam napokon silne ideje.

When I think back to my three years away from art,

Kada počnem da mislim o moje tri godine tokom kojih nisam stvarao,

away from my dream, just going through the motions,

tokom kojih sam bio daleko od mog sna radeći sve automatski

instead of trying to find a different way to continue that dream,

umesto da sam pokušao da nađem drukčiji pristup da svoj san ostvarim

I just quit, I gave up.

ja sam jednostavno odustao.

And what if I didn't embrace the shake?

A šta da sebe nisam prihvatio u potpunosti?

Because embracing the shake for me

Jer, za mene, prihvatanje sebe

wasn't just about art and having art skills.

nije bilo samo u vidu umetnosti.

It turned out to be about life, and having life skills.

Počelo je to prihvatanje da znači prihvatanje života takvim kakav on jeste.

Because ultimately, most of what we do

Na kraju krajeva, ono što radimo

takes place here, inside the box, with limited resources.

dešava se ovde, sa ograničenim sredstvima.

Learning to be creative within the confines of our limitations

Kada čovek nauči da iskoristi svoje mane i uprkos njima bude kreativan,

is the best hope we have to transform ourselves

na pravom je putu da se promeni

and, collectively, transform our world.

i da promeni ljude oko sebe.

Looking at limitations as a source of creativity

Gledajući na moje mane kao izvor kreativnosti

changed the course of my life.

promenio sam svoj život.

Now, when I run into a barrier

Sada, kada naiđem na prepreku

or I find myself creatively stumped,

i izgubim motivaciju

I sometimes still struggle,

naravno da se mučim

but I continue to show up for the process

ali nastavljam da se borim

and try to remind myself of the possibilities,

i da sebe podsećam da postoji bezbroj mogućnosti

like using hundreds of real, live worms to make an image,

kao recimo, kada koristim stotine crva da napravim skicu

using a pushpin to tattoo a banana,

ili kada putem spajalice crtam na banani

or painting a picture with hamburger grease.

ili kada slikam, koristeći mast koja je ostala od hamburgera.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

One of my most recent endeavors

U poslednje vreme

is to try to translate the habits of creativity that I've learned

trudim se da to što sam naučio u vezi sa kreativnošću

into something others can replicate.

prenesem na druge kako bi i oni mogli moje znanje da iskoriste.

Limitations may be the most unlikely of places

Znam da izgleda kao da mane

to harness creativity, but perhaps

nisu izvor kreativnosti ali moguće je

one of the best ways to get ourselves out of ruts,

da je jedan od najboljih načina da sebe izbavimo iz krize

rethink categories and challenge accepted norms.

ako počnemo drukčije da razmišljamo.

And instead of telling each other to seize the day,

Umesto da jedni drugima dajemo savet da uživamo u svakom trenutku

maybe we can remind ourselves every day

možda bi trebalo da se podsetimo

to seize the limitation.

da prihvatimo ograničenja koje nam život nameće.

Thank you.

Hvala vam.

(Applause)

(Aplauz)