What to do when everything feels broken | Daniel Alexander Jones

Prevodilac: Sandra Zerjal Lektor: Ivana Korom

"I've got people in me."

"Imam ljude u sebi."

So sang the late Abbey Lincoln.

Tako je pevala pokojna Ebi Linkoln.

I take that lyric as mantra.

Taj stih mi je mantra.

"I've got people in me."

"Imam ljude u sebi."

Jomama Jones is the person in me I turn to as a guide.

Džomama Džons je osoba u meni koja je moj vodič.

She's my alter ego.

Ona je moj alter ego.

I've been embodying her in performance since 1995,

Ispoljavam je u nastupima od 1995,

and she comes around when she has some insight to offer folks.

i pojavljuje se kad ima neke uvide da ponudi ljudima.

At this time of radical change,

U ovo vreme radikalne promene,

I'm glad to be the vessel for her message to you.

drago mi je da budem prenosilac njenih poruka vama.

Jomama Jones: What if I told you

Džomama Džons: Šta ako vam kažem

it's going to be alright ...

da će sve biti uredu...

but what if I told you not yet?

ali šta ako vam kažem - ne odmah?

What if I told you there are trials ahead

Ako vam kažem da predstoje iskušavanja

beyond your deepest fears?

izvan vaših najdubljih strahova?

What if I told you will you fall ...

Da vam kažem da ćete pasti...

down, down, down?

nisko, nisko, nisko?

But what if I told you you will surprise yourself?

Ali šta ako vam kažem da ćete iznenaditi sebe?

What if I told you will be brave enough?

Ako vam kažem da ćete biti dovoljno hrabri?

What if I told you

Ako vam kažem

we won't all make it through?

da ipak nećemo svi uspeti?

But what if I told you

Ali šta ako vam kažem

that is as it must be?

da baš tako treba da bude?

What if I told you I've seen the future?

Šta ako vam kažem da sam videla budućnost?

Do you like my hands?

Da li vam se sviđaju moje ruke?

They're expressive, yeah?

Ekspresivne su, zar ne?

Now look at your hands -- now go on.

Sada pogledajte vaše ruke... hajde, pogledajte.

There's so much history recorded through their touches

Toliko istorije je zapisano kroz njihove dodire

and marks of the future sketched on their palms.

i znaci budućnosti ucrtani na dlanovima.

Sometimes hands grip tight,

Ponekad ruke čvrsto stežu,

sometimes hands let go.

ponekad puštaju.

What if I told you

Šta ako vam kažem

it's all going to come undone?

da će sve biti poništeno?

Hm.

Hm.

Ladies and gentlemen

Dame i gospodo,

and otherwise described,

i na drugi način predstavljeni,

I am Jomama Jones.

ja sam Džomama Džons.

Some call me a soul sonic superstar,

Neki me zovu "superzvezda zvuka duše"

and I agree,

i ja se slažem,

though even in my past that was from the future.

iako čak i u mojoj prošlosti to je bilo iz budućnosti.

Let me take you back to girlhood.

Dozvolite mi da vas vratim u moje detinjstvo.

Picture this:

Zamislite ovo:

it was Planting Day,

bio je Dan sadnje,

which was a holiday I invented

što je bio praznik koji sam ja izmislila

for the Black youth community group I founded.

za zajednicu crne omladine koju sam ja osnovala.

I dashed home to put on my gardening ensemble

Odjurila sam kući da obučem svoju baštensku odeću

when I caught my uncle Freeman red-handed.

kada sam uhvatila svog ujka Frimana na delu.

He was standing over my piggy bank with his hammer raised high.

Stajao je iznad moje "kasice-prasice" sa podignutim čekićem.

He was fixing to steal my coins.

Nameravao je da ukrade moje novčiće.

And you see,

I vidite,

my uncle Freeman was a handyman.

moj ujka Friman je bio majstor.

He could fix anything --

Mogao je da popravi bilo šta -

a broken chair, a shattered pot --

polomljenu stolicu, razbijenu činiju -

even bring grandmother's plants back to life.

čak i da povrati u život bakine biljke.

He had that magic touch with broken things ...

Imao je taj magični dodir sa slomljenim stvarima...

and broken people.

i slomljenim ljudima.

He would take me with him on his jobs

Poveo bi me sa sobom na svoje poslove

and say, "C'mon Jo,

i rekao: "Hajde Džo,

let's go do something to make this world a better place."

hajde da uradimo nešto da napravimo ovaj svet boljim mestom".

His hands were wide and calloused,

Ruke su mu bile široke i žuljevite,

and they always reminded me of displaced tree roots.

i uvek su me podsećale na iščupano korenje drveća.

As we worked he would talk with folks

Dok smo radili, on bi pričao sa ljudima

about the change he was sure was just around the corner.

o promeni za koju je bio siguran da je iza ćoška.

I saw him mend flagging hopes

Videla sam ga kako popravlja izgubljene nade

and leave folks with their heads held high.

i za sobom ostavlja ljude visoko uzdignutih glava.

His hands stirred the sunshine.

Ruke su mu uzburkavale sunčevu svetlost.

And now he was about to break my piggy bank.

A sada se spremao da slomi moju "kasicu prasicu".

I said "Step back, man, and show me your hands."

Rekla sam: "Odstupi, čoveče, i pokaži mi svoje ruke."

You know the irony was

Znate, ironija je bila

he used to give me all the old coins he'd find under floorboards while working.

on mi je poklanjao sve stare novčiće koje je pronalazio ispod dasaka dok je radio.

And I put them in the piggy bank

I ja sam ih stavljala u kasicu

along with the money I earned through my childhood side hustles.

zajedno sa novcem koje sam zaradila zahvaljujući mojim detinjim poslovima.

But by the spring of 1970,

Ali do proleća 1970,

Uncle Freeman had lost his touch ...

ujka Friman je izgubio osećaj...

along with most of his jobs.

kao i većinu poslova.

He saw a heavy future

Video je tešku budućnost

of civil wrongs and Black power outages in his palms.

građanskih nepravdi i nereda na svojim dlanovima.

The last straw had come the previous winter

Poslednja slamka je bila predhodne zime

when they had gunned down Fred Hampton.

kada su upucali Freda Hemptona.

Overwhelmed with fear

Preplavljen strahom

and rage

i besom

and grief,

i tugom,

Uncle Freeman tried to game his future.

ujka Frimen je pokušao da se poigra sa svojom budućnošću.

He gripped too tight,

Previše čvrsto se uhvatio

and he started playing the numbers.

i počeo da se igra brojevima.

"Well, one of these numbers is gonna hit, little girl.

"Jedan od ovih brojeva će biti pogodak, devojčice.

You got a quarter for your uncle Free -- "

Imaš li 25 centi za svog ujka Fri- ?"

Now some of y'all have that relative.

Neki od vas imaju takvog rođaka.

But I knew right then and there I had to do something.

Ali ja sam tačno u tom trenutku znala da moram nešto da učinim.

Skočila sam i zgrabila taj čekić

I jumped up and I grabbed that hammer

and I brought it crashing down on that pig.

i razbila tu svinju.

And Uncle Freeman started to weep as I gathered up all the coins.

Ujka Friman je počeo da plače dok sam ja skupljala novčiće.

"We're not buying no lottery ticket, Uncle Freeman.

"Ne kupujemo nikakav loto tiket, ujka Frimane.

C'mon."

Hajde."

We spent every last cent at the seed store.

Potrošili smo poslednju paru u prodavnici semenja.

You know, the kids in my gardening group?

Znate, deca iz moje baštenske grupe?

They didn't bat an eye when I had Uncle Freeman get down

Nisu ni trepnula kada sam naterala ujka Frimana da klekne

and put his hands in the earth again

i ponovo stavi svoje ruke u zemlju

and start breaking up that soil for our seeds.

i počne da raskopava zemlju za semenje.

And my little friend Taesha even came over and started slapping him on the back

Moja mala prijateljica Taejža je čak je prišla i potapšala ga po leđima

saying, "Cry it out, Uncle Freeman.

rekavši: "Isplači se, ujka Frimane.

Cry it out."

Isplači se."

"Ne mogu ispraviti ovo," jecao je.

"I can't fix this," he sobbed.

It's an ancient-future truism, that.

To vam je truizam daleke budućnosti.

He wasn't the first to feel that way, and he wouldn't be the last.

On nije prvi koji se tako osećao, a nije ni poslednji.

Right now, it feels as though everything is breaking beyond repair.

Trenutno, izgleda kao da se sve raspada bez mogućnosti popravke.

It is.

Tako i jeste.

But that breaking apart can be a breaking open,

Ali to raspadanje može biti i prodor,

no matter how violent and uncertain

bez obzira koliko nasilno i neizvesno

and fearsome it seems.

i strašno izgledalo.

The thing is ...

Stvar je u tome...

we can't do it alone.

ne možemo to uraditi sami.

Uncle Freeman cried so much that day as we planted our seeds,

Ujka Friman je toliko plakao tog dana dok smo sadili semenje,

he was our very own irrigation system.

bio je naš svojstveni sistem za navodnjavanje.

"I don't know who I am anymore, little girl,"

"Više ne znam ko sam, malena,"

he said to me at sundown.

rekao mi je u predvečerje.

"Good, Uncle Freeman.

"Dobro je, ujka Frimane.

Good.

Dobro.

You're new again,

Ponovo si kao nov,

and that's just how we need you."

i baš te takvog trebamo."