Sarah Kaminsky: My father the forger

Translator: federica bonaldi Reviewer: Thomas VANDENBOGAERDE

Translator: Snežana Stone Reviewer: Tilen Pigac - EFZG

I am the daughter of a forger,

Sem hčerka ponarejevalca.

not just any forger ...

Ne kateregakoli ponarejevalca:

When you hear the word "forger," you often understand "mercenary."

ko slišimo "ponarejevalec", pogosto razumemo "plačanec",

You understand "forged currency," "forged pictures."

slišimo "ponarejen denar", "ponarejene slike".

My father is no such man.

Moj oče ne spada med te ljudi.

For 30 years of his life,

30 let svojega življenja

he made false papers --

je ponarejal osebne dokumente.

never for himself, always for other people,

Nikoli zase, vedno za druge,

and to come to the aid of the persecuted and the oppressed.

da bi pomagal preganjanim in zatiranim.

Let me introduce him.

Dovolite, da vam ga predstavim.

Here is my father at age 19.

Tu je moj oče star 19 let.

It all began for him during World War II,

Vse se je pravzaprav začelo med 2. svetovno vojno.

when at age 17 he found himself thrust

Pri 17-ih se je znašel

into a forged documents workshop.

v delavnici za ponarejanje dokumentov.

He quickly became the false papers expert of the Resistance.

Kmalu je postal strokovnjak Odpora za ponarejanje dokumentov.

And it's not a banal story --

A zgodba ni vsakdanja,

after the liberation he continued

saj je po osvoboditvi nadaljeval

to make false papers until the '70s.

s ponarejanjem dokumentov, vse do 70. let.

When I was a child

Ko sem bila majhna,

I knew nothing about this, of course.

nisem o tem, seveda, nič vedela.

This is me in the middle making faces.

Tista v sredini, ki se pači, sem jaz.

I grew up in the Paris suburbs

Odrastla sem v predmestju Pariza

and I was the youngest of three children.

kot najmlajša izmed treh otrok.

I had a "normal" dad like everybody else,

Imela sem "normalnega" očija, tako kot drugi,

apart from the fact that he was 30 years older than ...

razen dejstva, da je bil 30 let starejši od ...

well, he was basically old enough to be my grandfather.

no, lahko bi bil moj dedek.

Anyway, he was a photographer and a street educator,

Bil je fotograf, bil je specialni pedagog,

and he always taught us to obey the law very strictly.

in vedno nas je učil, naj ubogamo zakone.

And, of course, he never talked about his past life

O svojem nekdanjem življenju ponarejevalca

when he was a forger.

ni, seveda, nikoli govoril.

There was, however, an incident I'm going to tell you about,

Opisala bom dogodek, zaradi katerega

that perhaps could have led me suspect something.

bi morda lahko kaj posumila.

I was in high school and got a bad grade,

V srednji šoli sem dobila slabo oceno,

a rare event for me,

kar se je redko zgodilo.

so I decided to hide it from my parents.

Odločila sem se, da je ne pokažem staršem.

In order to do that, I set out to forge their signature.

Zato sem morala ponarediti njun podpis.

I started working on my mother's signature,

Lotila sem se maminega podpisa,

because my father's is absolutely impossible to forge.

saj je bilo očetov nemogoče ponarediti.

So, I got working. I took some sheets of paper

Vzela sem torej papir, na katerem

and started practicing, practicing, practicing,

sem vadila, vadila in vadila,

until I reached what I thought was a steady hand,

dokler se mi roka ni umirila.

and went into action.

Nato sem šla v akcijo.

Later, while checking my school bag,

Ko je mama kasneje v moji šolski torbi našla kontrolko,

my mother got hold of my school assignment and immediately saw that the signature was forged.

je takoj videla, da je podpis ponarejen.

She yelled at me like she never had before.

Vpila je name kot še nikoli.

I went to hide in my bedroom, under the blankets,

Skrila sem se pod odejo v svoji sobi

and then I waited for my father to come back from work

in z velikim strahom čakala,

with, one could say, much apprehension.

da se oče vrne iz službe.

I heard him come in.

Slišala sem ga priti,

I remained under the blankets. He entered my room,

ostala sem pod odejo, oče je vstopil v sobo

sat on the corner of the bed,

in sedel na rob postelje.

and he was silent, so I pulled the blanket from my head,

Ker ni spregovoril, sem pokukala izpod odeje,

and when he saw me he started laughing.

on pa se je začel krohotati

He was laughing so hard, he could not stop and he was holding my assignment in his hand.

in kar ni mogel nehati. V roki je imel kontrolko.

Then he said, "But really, Sarah, you could have worked harder! Can't you see it's really too small?"

Dejal je: "Sarah, bolj bi se morala potruditi, podpis je premajhen!"

Indeed, it's rather small.

Res je malce majhen.

I was born in Algeria.

Rojena sem v Alžiriji.

There I would hear people say my father was a "moudjahid"

Tam sem slišala, da očetu pravijo "mudžahid",

and that means "fighter."

kar pomeni bojevnik.

Later on, in France, I loved eavesdropping on grownups' conversations,

Kasneje - v Franciji - sem rada prisluškovala pogovorom odraslih

and I would hear all sorts of stories about my father's previous life,

in slišala marsikaj o očetovem nekdanjem življenju.

especially that he had "done" World War II,

Predvsem sem slišala, da je "bil" v 2. svetovni vojni,

that he had "done" the Algerian war.

da je "bil" v vojni v Alžiriji.

And in my head I would be thinking that "doing" a war meant being a soldier.

Predstavljala sem si, da "biti" v vojni, pomeni biti vojak.

But knowing my father, and how he kept saying that he was a pacifist and non-violent,

A oče je nenehno govoril, da je pristaš miru in proti nasilju,

I found it very hard to picture him with a helmet and gun.

zato sem si ga vseeno težko predstavljala s čelado in z orožjem.

And indeed, I was very far from the mark.

In res sem bila daleč od resnice.

One day, while my father was working on a file

Nekega dne, ko je oče pripravljal naše dokumente

for us to obtain French nationality,

za pridobitev francoskega državljanstva,

I happened to see some documents

sem videla dokumente,

that caught my attention.

ki so pritegnili mojo pozornost.

These are real!

Ti so resnični!

These are mine, I was born an Argentinean.

Ti so moji. Rojena sem v Argentini.

But the document I happened to see

A dokument, ki sem ga videla

that would help us build a case for the authorities

in ki nam je pomagal pridobiti državljanstvo,

was a document from the army

je izdala vojska

that thanked my father for his work

v zahvalo očetu za njegovo delo,

on behalf of the secret services.

ki ga je opravil za tajno službo.

And then, suddenly, I went "wow!"

Takrat sem pomislila: "Vau!

My father, a secret agent?

Moj oče - tajni agent?"

It was very James Bond.

Zvenelo je kot James Bond ...

I wanted to ask him questions, which he didn't answer.

Postavila sem mu veliko vprašanj, na katera ni odgovoril.

And later, I told myself that

Kasneje sem si dejala,

one day I would have to question him.

da ga bo nekega dne vseeno treba izprašati.

And then I became a mother and had a son,

Bila sem že mama majhnega fantka,

and finally decided it was time -- that he absolutely had to talk to us.

ko sem si dejala, da je skrajni čas, da oče spregovori.

I had become a mother

Ravno sem postala mama -

and he was celebrating his 77th birthday,

oče je praznoval svoj 77. rojstni dan -

and suddenly I was very, very afraid.

in nenadoma me je postalo strah.

I feared he'd go

Bilo me je strah, da bo odšel

and take his silences with him,

in s seboj odnesel svoj molk,

and take his secrets with him.

da bo odnesel svoje skrivnosti.

I managed to convince him that it was important for us,

Uspelo mi ga je prepričati, da je pomembno za nas

but possibly also for other people

in morda tudi za druge,

that he shared his story.

da deli z nami svojo zgodbo.

He decided to tell it to me

Odločil se je, da mi jo pove,

and I made a book,

jaz pa sem napisala knjigo,

from which I'm going to read you some excerpts later.

iz katere bom kasneje prebrala nekaj odlomkov.

So, his story. My father was born in Argentina.

Njegova zgodba, torej. Moj oče je rojen v Argentini.

His parents were of Russian descent.

Njegovi starši imajo ruske korenine.

The whole family came to settle in France in the '30s.

Cela družina se je v 30. letih naselila v Franciji.

His parents were Jewish, Russian and above all, very poor.

Njegovi starši so bili Judje, Rusi, predvsem pa zelo revni.

So at the age of 14 my father had to work.

Zato je moral oče že pri štirinajstih delati.

And with his only diploma,

S svojo edino diplomo,

his primary education certificate,

z osnovnošolskim spričevalom,

he found himself working at a dyer - dry cleaner.

je našel delo v izdelovalnici barvil.

That's where he discovered something totally magical,

Tam je odkril nekaj zanj čarobnega -

and when he talks about it, it's fascinating --

ko o tem govori, vas uroči -

it's the magic of dyeing chemistry.

odkril je čudež kemije barv.

During that time the war was happening

Takrat je divjala vojna in

and his mother was killed when he was 15.

njegova mama je bila ubita, ko mu je bilo 15 let.

This coincided with the time when

Ta dva dogodka sta sovpadla,

he threw himself body and soul into chemistry

zato se je z dušo in telesom predal kemiji,

because it was the only consolation for his sadness.

v kateri je našel edino uteho za žalost.

All day he would ask many questions to his boss

Podnevi je postavljal šefu vprašanja,

to learn, to accumulate more and more knowledge,

ker se je želel učiti in si pridobiti več znanja,

and at night, when no one was looking,

ponoči, ko ga nihče ni videl,

he'd put his experience to practice.

je svoje izkušnje preveril v praksi,

He was mostly interested in ink bleaching.

predvsem ga je zanimalo razbarvanje črnil.

All this to tell you

Z vsem tem vam želim povedati,

that if my father became a forger, actually,

da je oče v resnici postal ponarejevalec

it was almost by accident.

čisto po naključju.

His family was Jewish, so they were hounded.

Bili so Judje in zato preganjani.

Finally they were all arrested and taken to the Drancy camp

Cela družina je bila aretirana in odpeljana v taborišče Drancy.

and they managed to get out at the last minute thanks to their Argentinean papers.

Uspelo se jim je rešiti, zahvaljujoč argentinskim dokumentom.

Well, they were out,

Bili so zunaj,

but they were always in danger. The big "Jew" stamp was still on their papers.

a še vedno v nevarnosti zaradi pečata "Jud" v dokumentih.

It was my grandfather who decided they needed false documents.

Dedek se je odločil, da potrebujejo ponarejene dokumente.

My father had been instilled with such respect for the law

Oče je zelo spoštoval zakone

that although he was being persecuted,

in čeprav je bil preganjan,

he'd never thought of false papers.

ni nikoli pomislil na ponarejene dokumente.

But it was he who went to meet a man from the Resistance.

Sestal se je s predstavnikom Odpora.

In those times documents had hard covers,

V tistem času so imeli dokumenti trde platnice,

they were filled in by hand,

podatki so bili vnešeni ročno,

and they stated your job.

med drugim je bil vpisan tudi poklic.

In order to survive, he needed

Da bi preživel, je moral delati.

to be working. He asked the man

Prosil je tistega moškega,

to write "dyer."

naj navede poklic "barvar".

Suddenly the man looked very, very interested.

Nenadoma je moški zainteresirano vprašal:

As a "dyer," do you know how to bleach ink marks?

"Barvar? Znaš odstraniti sledi črnila?"

Of course he knew.

Seveda je znal.

And suddenly the man started explaining that

Moški mu je takoj razložil,

actually the whole Resistance had a huge problem:

da imajo v Odporu veliko težavo:

even the top experts

noben strokovnjak, tudi najbolj izkušen,

could not manage to bleach an ink, called "indelible,"

ni znal izbrisati črnila Waterman modre barve,

the "Waterman" blue ink.

t.i. neizbrisnega črnila.

And my father immediately replied that he knew exactly

Oče je odrezavo odvrnil, da natančno ve,

how to bleach it.

kako ga izbrisati.

Now, of course, the man was very impressed with this young man of 17

Seveda je 17-letni fantič, ki je odrezavo navedel rešitev,

who could immediately give him the formula, so he recruited him.

naredil ogromen vtis na moškega in bil takoj rekrutiran.

And actually, without knowing it, my father had invented something

Oče je nevede izumil nekaj,

we can find in every schoolchild's pencil case:

kar imajo danes vsi učenci v peresnicah -

the so-called "correction pen."

brisalec tinte.

(Applause)

(Aplavz)

But it was only the beginning.

A to je bil le začetek.

That's my father.

To je moj oče.

As soon as he got to the lab,

Ko je prišel v delavnico,

even though he was the youngest,

je kljub svoji mladosti

he immediately saw that there was a problem with the making of forged documents.

takoj opazil, da je z izdelavo dokumentov nekaj narobe.

All the movements stopped at falsifying.

Vsi so se zadovoljili s ponarejanjem.

But demand was ever-growing

A povpraševanje je rastlo,

and it was difficult to tamper with existing documents.

bilo je težko spreminjati obstoječe dokumente.

He told himself it was necessary to make them from scratch.

Odločil se je, da morajo izdelati nove.

He started a press. He started photoengraving.

Začel je tiskati, izdelal je grafične matrice.

He started making rubber stamps.

Začel je izdelovati štampiljke.

He started inventing all kind of things --

Izumil je marsikaj,

with some materials he invented a centrifuge using a bicycle wheel.

izumil je centrifugo, kot material pa je uporabil obroč kolesa.

Anyway, he had to do all this

Vse to je moral narediti,

because he was completely obsessed with output.

ker je bil obseden z rezultatom.

He had made a simple calculation:

Naredil je enostaven izračun:

In one hour he could make 30 forged documents.

v eni uri lahko ponaredi 30 dokumentov.

If he slept one hour, 30 people would die.

Če bo spal eno uro, bo umrlo 30 ljudi.

This sense of

Imel je občutek odgovornosti za življenja drugih,

responsibility for other people's lives when he was just 17 --

čeprav mu je bilo komaj 17 let.

and also his guilt for being a survivor,

Počutil se je krivega, ker je preživel,

since he had escaped the camp when his friends had not --

ker je ušel taborišču, medtem ko prijatelji niso;

stayed with him all his life.

ta občutek ga je spremljal vse življenje.

And this is maybe what explains why, for 30 years,

Zato je verjetno naslednjih 30 let

he continued to make false papers

nadaljeval s ponarejanjem dokumentov,

at the expense of all kinds of sacrifices.

ne glede na vse, kar je moral žrtvovati.

I'd like to talk about those sacrifices,

Rada bi povedala, kaj vse je žrtvoval,

because there were many.

kajti žrtvoval je veliko.

There were obviously financial sacrifices

Žrtvoval se je finančno,

because he always refused to be paid.

saj je vedno zavrnil plačilo.

To him, being paid would have meant being a mercenary.

Če bi ga sprejel, bi bil po njegovem mnenju plačanec.

If he had accepted payment,

Če bi sprejel plačilo,

he wouldn't be able to say "yes" or "no"

ne bi mogel zavrniti zadeve,

depending on what he deemed a just or unjust cause.

če se mu ne bi zdela pravična.

So he was a photographer by day,

30 let je bil

and a forger by night for 30 years.

podnevi fotograf, ponoči ponarejevalec,

He was broke all of the time.

ves čas pa brez prebite pare.

Then there were the emotional sacrifices:

Potem so tu še čustvene žrtve:

How can one live with a woman while having so many secrets?

kako živeti z žensko in imeti pred njo skrivnosti?

How can one explain what one does at night in the lab, every single night?

Kako ji razložiti, kaj vse noči počne v delavnici?

Of course, there was another kind of sacrifice

Žrtvoval je še nekaj: družino,

involving his family that I understood much later.

kar sem izvedela kasneje.

One day my father introduced me to my sister.

Nekega dne mi je oče predstavil sestro.

He also explained to me that I had a brother, too,

Razložil mi je, da imam tudi brata.

and the first time I saw them I must have been three or four,

Prvič sem ju videla, ko mi je bilo 3, 4 leta,

and they were 30 years older than me.

onadva pa sta bila 30 let starejša.

They are both in their sixties now.

Danes sta oba šestdesetletnika.

In order to write the book,

Za potrebe knjige sem sestri postavila nekaj vprašanj.

I asked my sister questions. I wanted to know who my father was,

Želela sem vedeti, kdo je bil moj oče,

who was the father she had known.

kdo je bil oče, ki ga je ona poznala.

She explained that the father that she'd had

Dejala mi je, da jima je oče govoril,

would tell them he'd come and pick them up on Sunday to go for a walk.

da bo vsako nedeljo prišel in ju peljal na sprehod.

They would get all dressed up and wait for him,

Lepo sta se oblekla in ga čakala,

but he would almost never come.

a skoraj nikoli ni prišel.

He'd say, "I'll call." He wouldn't call.

Dejal je, da bo poklical. Ni poklical.

And then he would not come.

Ni prišel.

Then one day he totally disappeared.

Nekega dne pa je enostavno izginil.

Time passed,

Čas je mineval.

and they thought he had surely forgotten them,

V začetku sta si govorila,

at first.

da ju je gotovo pozabil.

Then as time passed,

Čas je mineval še naprej.

at the end of almost two years, they thought,

Dve leti kasneje sta si rekla:

"Well, perhaps our father has died."

"Oče je verjetno umrl."

And then I understood

Takrat sem dojela,

that asking my father so many questions

da sem s svojimi vprašanji obudila preteklost,

was stirring up a whole past he probably didn't feel like talking about

o kateri oče morda ni želel govoriti,

because it was painful.

ker je preveč bolelo.

And while my half brother and sister thought they'd been abandoned,

Medtem ko sta moja polsestra in polbrat mislila, da ju je zapustil,

orphaned,

celo da sta siroti,

my father was making false papers.

je oče ponarejal dokumente.

And if he did not tell them, it was of course to protect them.

Povedal pa jima ni, ker ju je želel obvarovati.

After the liberation he made false papers

Po osvoboditvi je izdeloval dokumente

to allow the survivors of concentration camps to immigrate to Palestine

za preživele taboriščnike, ki so se želeli izseliti v Palestino,

before the creation of Israel.

preden je bil ustanovljen Izrael.

And then, as he was a staunch anti-colonialist,

Ker je bil zagrizen antikolonialist,

he made false papers for Algerians during the Algerian war.

je ponarejal dokumente za Alžirce med alžirsko vojno.

After the Algerian war,

Po alžirski vojni

at the heart of the international resistance movements,

je med mednarodnimi osvobodilnimi gibanji

his name circulated

krožilo njegovo ime.

and the whole world came knocking at his door.

Vsi so prišli trkat na njegova vrata.

In Africa there were countries fighting for their independence:

V Afriki se je veliko držav borilo za neodvisnost:

Guinea, Guinea-Bissau, Angola.

Gvineja, Gvineja Bissau, Angola.

And then my father connected with Nelson Mandela's anti-apartheid party.

Oče se je povezal s stranko Nelsona Mandele, ki se je borila proti apartheidu.

He made false papers for persecuted black South Africans.

Ponarejal je dokumente za preganjane črnce Južne Afrike.

There was also Latin America.

Potem je bila tu Latinska Amerika.

My father helped those who resisted dictatorships

Oče je pomagal upornikom, ki so se borili proti diktaturam

in the Dominican Republic, Haiti,

v Dominikanski Republiki, na Haitiju,

and then it was the turn of Brazil, Argentina, Venezuela, El Salvador, Nicaragua,

v Braziliji, Argentini, Venezueli, Salvadorju, Nikaragvi,

Colombia, Peru, Uruguay, Chile and Mexico.

Kolumbiji, Peruju, Urugvaju, Čilu in Mehiki.

Then there was the Vietnam War.

Potem je bila vojna v Vietnamu.

My father made false papers for the American deserters

Oče je ponarejal dokumente za ameriške dezerterje,

who did not wish to take up arms against the Vietnamese.

ki niso želeli dvigniti orožja proti Vietnamcem.

Europe was not spared either.

Tudi Evropi ni bilo prizanešeno.

My father made false papers for the dissidents

Ponarejal je dokumente za upornike,

against Franco in Spain, Salazar in Portugal,

ki so se borili proti Francu v Španiji, proti Salazarju na Portugalskem

against the colonels' dictatorship in Greece,

in proti vojaški diktaturi v Grčiji.

and even in France.

V Franciji

There, just once, it happened in May of 1968.

je ponaredil dokumente samo enkrat, maja 1968.

My father watched, benevolently, of course,

Oče je z naklonjenostjo spremljal

the demonstrations of the month of May,

majske demonstracije,

but his heart was elsewhere, and so was his time

a njegovo srce in čas sta bila drugje,

because he had over 15 countries to serve.

kajti delal je za 15 držav.

Once, though, he agreed to make false papers

Vendarle je privolil, da bo ponaredil dokumente

for someone you might recognize.

za nekoga, ki ga boste morda prepoznali.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

He was much younger in those days,

Takrat je bil veliko mlajši.

and my father agreed to make false papers

Oče je privolil, da mu ponaredi dokumente,

to enable him to come back and speak at a meeting.

s katerimi bi lahko prišel govorit na miting.

He told me that those false papers were the most media-relevant

Povedal mi je, da so bili ti dokumenti medijsko najbolj odmevni

and the least useful he'd had to make in all his life.

in najmanj koristni, kar jih je naredil v življenju.

But, he agreed to do it,

Ni privolil zato,

even though Daniel Cohn-Bendit's life was not in danger,

ker bi bilo življenje Daniela Cohna-Bendita v nevarnosti,

just because

temveč zato,

it was a good opportunity

ker je bila to lepa priložnost,

to mock the authorities,

da se ponorčuje iz oblasti.

and to show them that there's nothing more porous than borders --

Hotel jim je pokazati, da ni nič bolj prepustno kot meje,

and that ideas have no borders.

in da jih ideje nimajo.

All my childhood,

V otroštvu so očetje mojim prijateljicam

while my friends' dads would tell them Grimm's fairy tales,

pripovedovali Grimmove pravljice,

my father would tell me stories about very unassuming heroes

moj pa meni zgodbe o skrivnostnih junakih,

with unshakeable utopias

ki so neomajno verjeli v utopije

who managed to make miracles.

in vse čudežno razrešili.

And those heroes did not need an army behind them.

Ti junaki niso potrebovali armade,

Anyhow, nobody would have followed them,

nihče jim ni sledil,

except for a handful [of] men and women of conviction and courage.

razen peščice prepričanih in pogumnih mož in žena.

I understood much later

Kasneje sem spoznala,

that actually it was his own story my father would tell me to get me to sleep.

da mi je pred spanjem pripovedoval svojo zgodbo.

I asked him whether, considering the sacrifices he had to make,

Vprašala sem ga, ali zaradi vsega, kar je žrtvoval,

he ever had any regrets.

kdaj obžaluje svojo odločitev.

He said no.

Rekel je, da ne.

He told me that he would have been unable

Da ne bi mogel le gledati

to witness or submit to injustice without doing anything.

in trpeti nepravičnosti, ne da bi kaj storil.

He was persuaded, and he's still convinced

Bil je prepričan - in še vedno je -

that another world is possible --

da je možen drugačen svet,

a world where no one would ever need a forger.

svet, v katerem nihče ne bo potreboval ponarejevalca.

He's still dreaming about it.

Še vedno sanja o njem.

My father

Moj oče

is here in the room today.

je danes z nami.

His name is Adolfo Kaminsky and I'm going to ask him to stand up.

Ime mu je Adolfo Kaminsky. Prosim ga, naj vstane.

(Applause)

(Aplavz)

Thank you.

Hvala.