Sarah Kaminsky: My father the forger

Translator: federica bonaldi Reviewer: Thomas VANDENBOGAERDE

譯者: SHU-AN WU 審譯者: Ann Lee

I am the daughter of a forger,

我是個偽造者的女兒

not just any forger ...

但他不是一般偽造者

When you hear the word "forger," you often understand "mercenary."

一般聽到「偽造者」，都會想到貪圖錢財的騙子

You understand "forged currency," "forged pictures."

想到「偽幣」、「偽畫」

My father is no such man.

我父親不是這種人

For 30 years of his life,

他的人生中有三十年

he made false papers --

在偽造文書

never for himself, always for other people,

但從不為自己，都是為別人而做

and to come to the aid of the persecuted and the oppressed.

幫助遭受迫害的人

Let me introduce him.

容我向你們介紹他

Here is my father at age 19.

這是我父親19歲的照片

It all began for him during World War II,

他的偽造生涯始於第二次大戰

when at age 17 he found himself thrust

17歲的他意外投身一間工廠

into a forged documents workshop.

那是間偽造文書的工廠

He quickly became the false papers expert of the Resistance.

他很快就成為抵抗運動方的偽造文書專家

And it's not a banal story --

這可不是一般老掉牙的故事

after the liberation he continued

解放運動之後

to make false papers until the '70s.

他繼續偽造文書直到70年代

When I was a child

小時候

I knew nothing about this, of course.

我當然對此一無所知

This is me in the middle making faces.

那個在中間扮鬼臉的是我

I grew up in the Paris suburbs

我在巴黎近郊長大

and I was the youngest of three children.

是家中三個孩子的老么

I had a "normal" dad like everybody else,

我和所有人一樣，有個「平凡」的父親

apart from the fact that he was 30 years older than ...

只不過他比別人父親老了30歲

well, he was basically old enough to be my grandfather.

基本上他的年紀足以當我祖父

Anyway, he was a photographer and a street educator,

總之，他是個攝影師，也是我家的教育者

and he always taught us to obey the law very strictly.

他總是教導我們要嚴守法律

And, of course, he never talked about his past life

當然，他不曾談過自己的過去

when he was a forger.

偽造文書的那些日子

There was, however, an incident I'm going to tell you about,

不過我等等要說的這個小插曲

that perhaps could have led me suspect something.

應該就是我開始懷疑一些事情的契機

I was in high school and got a bad grade,

我讀高中時，有一次作業成績不好

a rare event for me,

這對我來說很少見

so I decided to hide it from my parents.

所以我決定要隱瞞父母

In order to do that, I set out to forge their signature.

因此，我著手開始偽造他們的簽名

I started working on my mother's signature,

我決定偽造我母親的簽名

because my father's is absolutely impossible to forge.

因為我父親的百分之百不可能模仿成功

So, I got working. I took some sheets of paper

接著我開始動工，拿來好幾疊紙

and started practicing, practicing, practicing,

不斷練習、練習、再練習

until I reached what I thought was a steady hand,

直到我覺得已經夠順手了

and went into action.

便付諸行動

Later, while checking my school bag,

不久之後，我媽媽檢查我的書包

my mother got hold of my school assignment and immediately saw that the signature was forged.

看了我的學校作業，馬上發現了簽名是假的

She yelled at me like she never had before.

於是我挨罵了，之前她從沒那麼兇罵我

I went to hide in my bedroom, under the blankets,

我躲進房間，窩進毛毯

and then I waited for my father to come back from work

等我父親工作回來

with, one could say, much apprehension.

可以說，我真的很害怕

I heard him come in.

我聽到他回家的聲音

I remained under the blankets. He entered my room,

我仍然窩在毯子裡，而他進了我房間

sat on the corner of the bed,

坐在我的床角上

and he was silent, so I pulled the blanket from my head,

他沒有說話，所以我把毯子從頭上拉下來

and when he saw me he started laughing.

他看到我就對我大笑

He was laughing so hard, he could not stop and he was holding my assignment in his hand.

他笑得不能自己、停不下來，手上還拿著我的作業

Then he said, "But really, Sarah, you could have worked harder! Can't you see it's really too small?"

接著說：「不過莎拉，說真的，你應該再多用點心，不覺得你簽得太小了嗎？」

Indeed, it's rather small.

的確，我簽得很小

I was born in Algeria.

我在阿爾及利亞出生

There I would hear people say my father was a "moudjahid"

常聽到有人說我父親是個moudjahid

and that means "fighter."

也就是「戰士」的意思

Later on, in France, I loved eavesdropping on grownups' conversations,

後來在法國，我愛上偷聽大人談話

and I would hear all sorts of stories about my father's previous life,

也就能聽到各式各樣我父親早年的故事

especially that he had "done" World War II,

尤其他曾「參予」二次大戰的部分

that he had "done" the Algerian war.

他「參予」過阿爾及利亞戰爭

And in my head I would be thinking that "doing" a war meant being a soldier.

我認為「參予」戰爭，應該就是當士兵的意思吧

But knowing my father, and how he kept saying that he was a pacifist and non-violent,

但因為熟知我父親的為人，加上他不斷強調自己是和平主義和反暴力者

I found it very hard to picture him with a helmet and gun.

我發現很難想像他戴鋼盔、背著槍的樣子

And indeed, I was very far from the mark.

的確，我猜的離真相可遠了

One day, while my father was working on a file

某天我父親在處理一份卷宗

for us to obtain French nationality,

要讓我們取得法國國籍

I happened to see some documents

我湊巧看到了一些文件

that caught my attention.

引起我的注意

These are real!

這些護照是真的

These are mine, I was born an Argentinean.

兩本都是我的護照，我是阿根廷裔法國人

But the document I happened to see

我看到的那份文件

that would help us build a case for the authorities

讓我們能得到法國官方承認

was a document from the army

是軍隊所發的

that thanked my father for his work

這要多虧我父親在工作之餘

on behalf of the secret services.

做了點額外的秘密服務

And then, suddenly, I went "wow!"

發現之後，我說「哇」

My father, a secret agent?

我爸爸難道是個情報員?

It was very James Bond.

這真的很像詹姆士龐德做的事

I wanted to ask him questions, which he didn't answer.

我想問他好多問題，那些他不曾回答的問題

And later, I told myself that

之後，我告訴自己

one day I would have to question him.

總有一天，我得好好問他

And then I became a mother and had a son,

後來我成為了母親，育有一子

and finally decided it was time -- that he absolutely had to talk to us.

才終於下了決心，是時候讓他說明白了

I had become a mother

我當媽媽時

and he was celebrating his 77th birthday,

他正好過77歲生日

and suddenly I was very, very afraid.

我突然很害怕

I feared he'd go

我怕他會突然離開

and take his silences with him,

把他的沉默帶走

and take his secrets with him.

也把他的秘密帶走

I managed to convince him that it was important for us,

我說服他，他的故事

but possibly also for other people

不單對我們很重要

that he shared his story.

也可能對其他人很重要

He decided to tell it to me

他才決定告訴我

and I made a book,

我把這些事寫成一本書

from which I'm going to read you some excerpts later.

我要跟各位分享一些書中的片段

So, his story. My father was born in Argentina.

我父親的故事從他在阿根廷出生開始

His parents were of Russian descent.

他的雙親是俄國人的後代

The whole family came to settle in France in the '30s.

他們家在30年代搬來法國定居

His parents were Jewish, Russian and above all, very poor.

他父母是俄國人，也是猶太人，而且很窮

So at the age of 14 my father had to work.

所以我父親14歲就得工作

And with his only diploma,

他唯一的文憑

his primary education certificate,

就是小學畢業證書

he found himself working at a dyer - dry cleaner.

他在染坊工作

That's where he discovered something totally magical,

在那兒，他發現了一種魔法

and when he talks about it, it's fascinating --

他說到這裡時一臉陶醉

it's the magic of dyeing chemistry.

他發現的魔法就是染色化學

During that time the war was happening

他母親在戰時遭到殺害

and his mother was killed when he was 15.

當時他15歲

This coincided with the time when

在這段期間裡

he threw himself body and soul into chemistry

他將身心都投入了染色化學之中

because it was the only consolation for his sadness.

因為唯有這樣才能減輕他的哀痛

All day he would ask many questions to his boss

他整天追著老闆問問題

to learn, to accumulate more and more knowledge,

學習累積更多更多的知識

and at night, when no one was looking,

晚間四下無人時

he'd put his experience to practice.

他便將所學付諸實踐

He was mostly interested in ink bleaching.

他對漂白墨水最有興趣

All this to tell you

到這裡我想說的是

that if my father became a forger, actually,

其實我父親會成為一個偽造文書專家

it was almost by accident.

完全是意外

His family was Jewish, so they were hounded.

由於他家是猶太人，所以當時被人追捕

Finally they were all arrested and taken to the Drancy camp

最後全家都被逮捕，送進德蘭西營

and they managed to get out at the last minute thanks to their Argentinean papers.

直到最後一秒多虧阿根廷的身份文件，他們才得以離開

Well, they were out,

可是他們逃出來後

but they were always in danger. The big "Jew" stamp was still on their papers.

卻仍然處於危險之中，因為身份文件上有大大的猶太人印記

It was my grandfather who decided they needed false documents.

於是我祖父決定他們需要假身份文件

My father had been instilled with such respect for the law

我父親從小被灌輸要遵守法律

that although he was being persecuted,

所以雖然遭受迫害

he'd never thought of false papers.

他也不曾想過要偽造文書

But it was he who went to meet a man from the Resistance.

不過他還是去見了從事抵抗運動的人

In those times documents had hard covers,

那時候的身份公文都是硬殼裝

they were filled in by hand,

手工把文書夾入

and they stated your job.

上面要寫你的職業

In order to survive, he needed

我父親為了生活得要工作

to be working. He asked the man

他要那個人在職業上寫了

to write "dyer."

染坊工人

Suddenly the man looked very, very interested.

那人突然看起來很有興趣的樣子

As a "dyer," do you know how to bleach ink marks?

問他，你是染坊工人，知道怎麼漂白墨水印嗎？

Of course he knew.

我父親當然知道

And suddenly the man started explaining that

那人隨即開始解釋

actually the whole Resistance had a huge problem:

其實抵抗運動團體有一個大難題

even the top experts

連一流專家也搞不定

could not manage to bleach an ink, called "indelible,"

那就是漂白一種人稱「去不掉」的

the "Waterman" blue ink.

藍色「華德曼」墨水

And my father immediately replied that he knew exactly

我爸爸馬上回答他知道

how to bleach it.

怎麼去掉這種墨水印

Now, of course, the man was very impressed with this young man of 17

這下子，那人當然對這位17歲的年輕人感到很驚艷

who could immediately give him the formula, so he recruited him.

因為他立刻能交出配方洗掉墨水，所以我父親就被徵召了

And actually, without knowing it, my father had invented something

其實就算不知道配方，我父親早已發明了一件東西

we can find in every schoolchild's pencil case:

我們可以在每個學童的鉛筆盒裡找到它

the so-called "correction pen."

那就是「修正液」

(Applause)

(掌聲)

But it was only the beginning.

不過這只是開始

That's my father.

這是我父親

As soon as he got to the lab,

他一進到實驗室

even though he was the youngest,

雖然在裡面他年紀最輕

he immediately saw that there was a problem with the making of forged documents.

他馬上發現那兒在製作假文書上有個問題

All the movements stopped at falsifying.

所有流程到竄改的關卡都陷入停擺

But demand was ever-growing

需求卻有增無減

and it was difficult to tamper with existing documents.

可是光處理手邊的文件都很費時了

He told himself it was necessary to make them from scratch.

他告訴自己一切得從頭做起

He started a press. He started photoengraving.

他開始做印刷機，開始照相製板

He started making rubber stamps.

開始做橡皮章

He started inventing all kind of things --

開始發明各種必需品

with some materials he invented a centrifuge using a bicycle wheel.

他用腳踏車輪等材料發明了離心機

Anyway, he had to do all this

總之，他什麼都做了

because he was completely obsessed with output.

因為他很在乎輸出的成果

He had made a simple calculation:

他粗略估計

In one hour he could make 30 forged documents.

一小時能製作三十份偽造文件

If he slept one hour, 30 people would die.

所以只要他睡一小時，就可能有30人死亡

This sense of

他才17歲

responsibility for other people's lives when he was just 17 --

就已經背負了拯救人命的責任感

and also his guilt for being a survivor,

同時他也懷有作為倖存者的罪惡感

since he had escaped the camp when his friends had not --

因為當年他成功逃走了，他的朋友卻沒有逃掉

stayed with him all his life.

責任及罪惡感終生與他為伍

And this is maybe what explains why, for 30 years,

這或許可以解釋為什麼三十年內

he continued to make false papers

他不停偽造文件

at the expense of all kinds of sacrifices.

不計一切犧牲代價

I'd like to talk about those sacrifices,

我想談談他付出的那些代價

because there were many.

因為實在太多了

There were obviously financial sacrifices

顯見的是經濟上的犧牲

because he always refused to be paid.

因為他總是拒絕收錢

To him, being paid would have meant being a mercenary.

對他來說，拿了錢就等於是在詐財

If he had accepted payment,

一旦他收了錢

he wouldn't be able to say "yes" or "no"

他就沒有權利談要接受或拒絕

depending on what he deemed a just or unjust cause.

那些在他看來不正當的案子

So he was a photographer by day,

他白天照相製板

and a forger by night for 30 years.

晚上偽造文件，三十年來天天如此

He was broke all of the time.

一直是經濟拮据

Then there were the emotional sacrifices:

他也付出了情感上的代價

How can one live with a woman while having so many secrets?

一個身負重多秘密的人要如何和妻子共處?

How can one explain what one does at night in the lab, every single night?

如何去解釋他每晚在實驗室裡在做些什麼?

Of course, there was another kind of sacrifice

還有一種代價少不了的

involving his family that I understood much later.

就是犧牲他的家庭，這我後來才明白

One day my father introduced me to my sister.

某天我父親讓我和姊姊相認

He also explained to me that I had a brother, too,

同時他跟我說，我還有個哥哥

and the first time I saw them I must have been three or four,

我想我多半3、4歲時曾初次見過他們

and they were 30 years older than me.

他們比我年長三十多歲

They are both in their sixties now.

現在都六十幾歲了

In order to write the book,

為了寫這本書

I asked my sister questions. I wanted to know who my father was,

我問了姊姊一些問題，我想知道我父親的事

who was the father she had known.

想知道父親在她眼中是怎樣的人

She explained that the father that she'd had

她說，她認識的父親

would tell them he'd come and pick them up on Sunday to go for a walk.

會告訴他們星期天要來帶他們去走走

They would get all dressed up and wait for him,

為此他們總盛裝打扮等著父親

but he would almost never come.

可是父親幾乎都食言了

He'd say, "I'll call." He wouldn't call.

他說「等我的電話」，卻總等不到

And then he would not come.

後來他也沒回家

Then one day he totally disappeared.

從某天起父親就真的不見蹤影

Time passed,

時光飛逝

and they thought he had surely forgotten them,

起初，孩子們都以為

at first.

父親已經忘了他們

Then as time passed,

又過了一段時間

at the end of almost two years, they thought,

幾乎快過了兩年，他們想

"Well, perhaps our father has died."

「父親可能過世了吧」

And then I understood

我這才發現

that asking my father so many questions

我問了父親許多問題

was stirring up a whole past he probably didn't feel like talking about

都會讓他想起那些過去，他大概不想多談的事情

because it was painful.

因為太痛苦了

And while my half brother and sister thought they'd been abandoned,

在我的異母兄姐認為自己被遺棄

orphaned,

成了孤兒的時候

my father was making false papers.

我父親其實在偽造文書

And if he did not tell them, it was of course to protect them.

他不告訴兒女，當然是想保護他們

After the liberation he made false papers

解放運動後他繼續偽造文書

to allow the survivors of concentration camps to immigrate to Palestine

幫助集中營的倖存者在以色列建國前

before the creation of Israel.

移民到巴勒斯坦

And then, as he was a staunch anti-colonialist,

再者，由於他忠實擁護反殖民主義者

he made false papers for Algerians during the Algerian war.

他也在阿爾及利亞戰爭期間幫助該國人偽造文書

After the Algerian war,

阿爾及利亞戰爭過後

at the heart of the international resistance movements,

由於他身處國際反抗運動核心

his name circulated

他的名字傳遍了世界

and the whole world came knocking at his door.

全世界的人都求助於他

In Africa there were countries fighting for their independence:

當時非洲有許多國家發動獨立戰爭

Guinea, Guinea-Bissau, Angola.

包括幾內亞、幾內亞比索、安哥拉

And then my father connected with Nelson Mandela's anti-apartheid party.

我父親於是和曼德拉的反種族隔離派聯繫

He made false papers for persecuted black South Africans.

他替被迫害的南非黑人偽造文書

There was also Latin America.

同樣，在拉丁美洲

My father helped those who resisted dictatorships

我父親幫助拒絕獨裁政權的人民

in the Dominican Republic, Haiti,

這些人來自多明尼加共和國和海地

and then it was the turn of Brazil, Argentina, Venezuela, El Salvador, Nicaragua,

後來更幫助了巴西、阿根廷、委內瑞拉、薩爾瓦多、尼加拉瓜

Colombia, Peru, Uruguay, Chile and Mexico.

哥倫比亞、秘魯、烏拉圭、智利和墨西哥等國人民

Then there was the Vietnam War.

越戰時期

My father made false papers for the American deserters

我父親替美國逃兵偽造文書

who did not wish to take up arms against the Vietnamese.

因為這些人不希望拿起武器和越南人交戰

Europe was not spared either.

在歐洲也不例外

My father made false papers for the dissidents

我父親替異議份子偽造文書

against Franco in Spain, Salazar in Portugal,

反抗西班牙的佛朗哥

against the colonels' dictatorship in Greece,

抵抗希臘的獨裁殖民政權

and even in France.

甚至在法國也是

There, just once, it happened in May of 1968.

有一次，在1968年五月的時候

My father watched, benevolently, of course,

我父親以慈悲之心

the demonstrations of the month of May,

關注整個五月示威的進展

but his heart was elsewhere, and so was his time

同時他也心繫他方，當時其他人也是

because he had over 15 countries to serve.

因為有超過15個國家的人民需要我父親的服務

Once, though, he agreed to make false papers

有一次他答應要為一個人偽造文件

for someone you might recognize.

那個人你們應該也認識

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

He was much younger in those days,

那時候他還很年輕

and my father agreed to make false papers

我父親答應了要幫他偽造文件

to enable him to come back and speak at a meeting.

讓他能夠回國，在一個會議上發言

He told me that those false papers were the most media-relevant

父親告訴我，這些假文件是他做過媒體最感興趣

and the least useful he'd had to make in all his life.

也是最無用武之地的一件案子

But, he agreed to do it,

但他仍答應要做

even though Daniel Cohn-Bendit's life was not in danger,

雖然Daniel Cohn-Bendit並沒有生命危險

just because

他答應的唯一理由

it was a good opportunity

就是要藉這個機會

to mock the authorities,

好好戲弄一下掌權人士

and to show them that there's nothing more porous than borders --

讓他們看到，沒什麼比各國國境更漏洞百出了

and that ideas have no borders.

而且這個想法舉世皆然

All my childhood,

我的整個童年

while my friends' dads would tell them Grimm's fairy tales,

當朋友的爸爸都在講格林童話的故事

my father would tell me stories about very unassuming heroes

我父親告訴我的，都是無名英雄的故事

with unshakeable utopias

而且毫無置疑充滿烏托邦色彩

who managed to make miracles.

那些英雄都締造了奇蹟

And those heroes did not need an army behind them.

而他們身後都不需要軍隊的支持

Anyhow, nobody would have followed them,

總之，沒有人會追隨他們

except for a handful [of] men and women of conviction and courage.

只有小部份有信念和勇氣的男男女女會跟隨他們

I understood much later

很久以後我才明白

that actually it was his own story my father would tell me to get me to sleep.

父親講的床邊故事，正是他自己的故事

I asked him whether, considering the sacrifices he had to make,

我問他，考慮到他所付出的犧牲

he ever had any regrets.

他是否曾後悔過

He said no.

他說，他不曾後悔

He told me that he would have been unable

他告訴我，若他當初什麼都沒做

to witness or submit to injustice without doing anything.

就不能見證這一切，或者就向不公義投降了

He was persuaded, and he's still convinced

他當時就確信，而現在依然堅信

that another world is possible --

我們能擁有不一樣的世界

a world where no one would ever need a forger.

而這個世界裡沒有人需要人幫忙偽造身分

He's still dreaming about it.

這依然是他的夢想

My father

我的父親

is here in the room today.

今天就在現場

His name is Adolfo Kaminsky and I'm going to ask him to stand up.

他叫作Adolfo Kaminsky，我要請他站起來

(Applause)

(掌聲)

Thank you.

謝謝你