Why you should define your fears instead of your goals | Tim Ferriss | TED

Translator: Doris Kos Reviewer: Nika Kotnik

So, this happy pic of me was taken in 1999.

Torej, ta moja vesela slika je bila posneta leta 1999.

I was a senior in college,

Bil sem v zadnjem letniku faksa,

and it was right after a dance practice.

in bilo je takoj po plesnih vajah.

I was really, really happy.

Bil sem zares, zares srečen.

And I remember exactly where I was about a week and a half later.

In spomnim se točno, kje sem bil teden in pol za tem.

I was sitting in the back of my used minivan

Sedel sem na zadnjih sedežih svojega kombija,

in a campus parking lot,

na parkirišču kampusa,

when I decided

ko sem se odločil,

I was going to commit suicide.

da bom storil samomor.

I went from deciding to full-blown planning very quickly.

Od odločitve do planiranja sem prešel zelo hitro.

And I came this close to the edge of the precipice.

In do roba tega prepada sem prišel tako blizu.

It's the closest I've ever come.

Temu sem takrat prišel najbližje.

And the only reason I took my finger off the trigger

In edini razlog, zaradi česar sem umaknil prst s sprožilca,

was thanks to a few lucky coincidences.

je zahvaljujoč nekaj golim naključjem.

And after the fact,

In po tem dejstvu,

that's what scared me the most: the element of chance.

me je najbolj prestrašilo prav to: element naključja.

So I became very methodical about testing different ways

Postal sem zelo sistematičen pri testiranju različnih možnosti

that I could manage my ups and downs,

kontroliranja svojih vzponov in padcev,

which has proven to be a good investment. (Laughs)

kar pa se je izkazalo kot dobra naložba. (Smeh)

Many normal people might have, say, six to 10 major depressive episodes

Marsikateri normalni človek bo morda imel 6-10 epizod depresije

in their lives.

v svojem življenju.

I have bipolar depression. It runs in my family.

Jaz imam bipolarno depresijo. Imamo jo v družini.

I've had 50-plus at this point,

Na tisti točki sem imel 50-plus

and I've learned a lot.

in ogromno sem se naučil.

I've had a lot of at-bats,

Imel sem veliko odločilnih trenutkov,

many rounds in the ring with darkness,

veliko bojev s temo,

taking good notes.

kjer sem se veliko naučil.

So I thought rather than get up and give any type of recipe for success

In pomislil sem, namesto da vstanem in dam kakršnekoli recepte za uspeh,

or highlight reel,

ali prikažem vrhunce tega obdobja,

I would share my recipe for avoiding self-destruction,

bom raje delil svoj recept, kako se izogniti samouničenju

and certainly self-paralysis.

in zagotovo samo-paralizi.

And the tool I've found which has proven to be the most reliable safety net

In orodje, ki se je izkazalo za najbolj zanesljivo varnostno mrežo

for emotional free fall

pri čustvenem prostem padu

is actually the same tool

je bilo isto orodje,

that has helped me to make my best business decisions.

ki mi je pomagalo pri najboljših poslovnih odločitvah.

But that is secondary.

A to je sekundarno.

And it is ... stoicism.

In to je ... stoicizem.

That sounds boring.

Zveni dolgočasno.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

You might think of Spock,

Morda pomislite na Spocka,

or it might conjure and image like this --

lahko pa prikliče tako podobo --

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

a cow standing in the rain.

krave, ki stoji na dežju.

It's not sad. It's not particularly happy.

Ni žalostna. Ni pa niti vesela.

It's just an impassive creature taking whatever life sends its way.

Samo neobčutljivo bitje, ki sprejme, karkoli življenje prinese.

You might not think of the ultimate competitor, say, Bill Belichick,

Morda ne boste pomislili na ultimativnega nasprotnika, recimo, Billa Belichicka,

head coach of the New England Patriots,

ki je glavni trener ekipi New England Patriots,

who has the all-time NFL record for Super Bowl titles.

ki ima NFL rekord vseh časov, v številu Super Bowl zmag.

And stoicism has spread like wildfire in the top of the NFL ranks

In stoicizem se je v vrstah NFL-a razširil kot požar,

as a means of mental toughness training in the last few years.

kot vrsta treniranja mentalne trdnosti v zadnjih nekaj letih.

You might not think of the Founding Fathers --

Morda ne pomislite na ustanovitelje --

Thomas Jefferson, John Adams, George Washington

Thomas Jefferson, John Adams in George Washington

to name but three students of stoicism.

so le trije izmed tistih, ki so stoicizem študirali.

George Washington actually had a play about a Stoic --

George Washington je ustvaril igro o stoiku-

this was "Cato, a Tragedy" --

Imenovala se je "Cato, tragedija" -

performed for his troops at Valley Forge to keep them motivated.

ki jo je za motivacijo odigral za svoje vojake v dolini Forge.

So why would people of action focus so much on an ancient philosophy?

Zakaj bi se torej ljudje, ki ukrepajo, osredotočali na starodavno filozofijo?

This seems very academic.

Zdi se zelo akademsko.

I would encourage you to think about stoicism a little bit differently,

Spodbujam vas, da o tem razmislite malo drugače,

as an operating system for thriving in high-stress environments,

kot o operacijskem sistemu za uspeh v visoko stresnem okolju,

for making better decisions.

za boljše odločitve.

And it all started here,

In vse se je začelo tu,

kind of,

recimo,

on a porch.

na verandi.

So around 300 BC in Athens,

Torej, nekje okoli 300 pr.n.št. v Atenah,

someone named Zeno of Citium taught many lectures

je človek z imenom Zeno Citiuma poučeval kar nekaj lekcij,

walking around a painted porch, a "stoa."

hodeč naokoli po poslikani verandi imenovani stoa.

That later became "stoicism."

To je kasneje postal stoicizem.

And in the Greco-Roman world,

In v Grško-Rimskem svetu

people used stoicism as a comprehensive system

so ljudje stoicizem uporabljali kot celovit sistem

for doing many, many things.

za mnoge, mnoge stvari.

But for our purposes, chief among them was training yourself

A za naše namene, je bil glavni med njimi treniranje samega sebe,

to separate what you can control from what you cannot control,

da si ločil tisto, kar si lahko in tisto, česar nisi mogel kontrolirati,

and then doing exercises to focus exclusively

nato pa si delal vaje, da si se fokusiral

on the former.

na tisto zadnje,

This decreases emotional reactivity,

To zmanjšuje čustveno reaktivnost,

which can be a superpower.

kar pa je lahko super-moč.

Conversely, let's say you're a quarterback.

Recimo, za namene pogovora, da ste podajalec.

You miss a pass. You get furious with yourself.

Zamudite podajo. Ste besni sami nase.

That could cost you a game.

To vas lahko stane igre.

If you're a CEO, and you fly off the handle at a very valued employee

Če ste direktor podjetja in se na cenjenega delavca zelo zjezite

because of a minor infraction,

zaradi manjšega prekrška,

that could cost you the employee.

vas to lahko stane tistega delavca.

If you're a college student who, say, is in a downward spiral,

Če ste študent na fakulteti in imate dokaj slabo obdobje,

and you feel helpless and hopeless,

počutite pa se brez moči in upanja,

unabated, that could cost you your life.

vas to brez dvoma lahko stane življenja.

So the stakes are very, very high.

Stave so tako zelo, zelo visoke.

And there are many tools in the toolkit to get you there.

In obstaja mnogo orodij, ki vas bodo pripeljala tja.

I'm going to focus on one that completely changed my life in 2004.

Osredotočil se bom na tistega, ki mi je 2004 popolnoma spremenil moje življenje.

It found me then because of two things:

Našlo me je zaradi dveh stvari:

a very close friend, young guy, my age, died of pancreatic cancer unexpectedly,

zelo dober prijatelj, mlad fant mojih let, je nepričakovano umrl zaradi raka,

and then my girlfriend, who I thought I was going to marry, walked out.

nato pa me je punca, za katero sem mislil, da se bova poročila, zapustila.

She'd had enough, and she didn't give me a Dear John letter,

Imela je dovolj in ni mi napisala "Dragi John" pisma,

but she did give me this,

dala pa mi je tole,

a Dear John plaque.

"Dragi John" spominsko ploščo.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

I'm not making this up. I've kept it.

Ne izmišljujem si. Obdržal sem jo.

"Business hours are over at five o'clock."

"Delovni čas je do petih."

She gave this to me to put on my desk for personal health,

To mi je dala, da si dam na pisalno mizo za osebno zdravje,

because at the time, I was working on my first real business.

saj sem v tistem času delal na svojem prvem pravem poslu.

I had no idea what I was doing. I was working 14-plus hour days,

Pojma nisem imel, kaj delam. Delal sem 14 ur in več na dan,

seven days a week.

sedem dni na teden.

I was using stimulants to get going.

Bil sem na različnih stimulansih, da sem zmogel.

I was using depressants to wind down and go to sleep.

Bil sem na pomirjevalih, da sem se pomiril in zaspal.

It was a disaster.

Bila je katastrofa.

I felt completely trapped.

Počutil sem se totalno ujetega.

I bought a book on simplicity to try to find answers.

Kupil sem si knjigo o preprostosti, ter poskušal najti odgovore.

And I did find a quote that made a big difference in my life,

In našel sem citat, ki mi je spremenili življenje,

which was, "We suffer more often in imagination than in reality,"

in sicer: "V domišljiji pogosto trpimo bolj, kot v resničnosti,"

by Seneca the Younger,

avtor je Seneka mlajši,

who was a famous Stoic writer.

znan stoicistični pisatelj.

That took me to his letters,

To me je pripeljalo do njegovih pisem,

which took me to the exercise,

kar me je pripeljalo do vadbe,

"premeditatio malorum,"

"premeditatio malorum",

which means the pre-meditation of evils.

kar pomeni pre-meditacija nesreč.

In simple terms,

Če posplošimo,

this is visualizing the worst-case scenarios, in detail, that you fear,

gre za vizualiziranje najhujših scenarijev, tistega, česar se bojimo,

preventing you from taking action,

kar nam preprečuje, da ukrepamo,

so that you can take action to overcome that paralysis.

da bi lahko ukrepali in premagali paralizo.

My problem was monkey mind -- super loud, very incessant.

Moj problem je bilo nemiren um- izredno glasen, neustavljiv.

Just thinking my way through problems doesn't work.

Samo razmišljati o problemih ne deluje.

I needed to capture my thoughts on paper.

Moral sem zbrati svoje misli na papirju.

So I created a written exercise

Tako da sem ustvaril pisno vadbo,

that I called "fear-setting," like goal-setting,

imenovano "določanje strahov" kot določanje ciljev,

for myself.

zase.

It consists of three pages.

Sestoji iz treh strani.

Super simple.

Popolnoma preprosto.

The first page is right here.

Prva stran je točno tukaj.

"What if I ...?"

"Kaj če bi jaz ...?"

This is whatever you fear,

To je vse, česar se bojite,

whatever is causing you anxiety,

vse, kar vam povzroča tesnobo,

whatever you're putting off.

vse, s čimer odlašate.

It could be asking someone out,

Lahko je, da vabilo na zmenek,

ending a relationship,

zaključiti razmerje,

asking for a promotion, quitting a job, starting a company.

prositi za povišico, dati odpoved, ustvariti podjetje.

It could be anything.

Lahko je karkoli.

For me, it was taking my first vacation in four years

Zame je bilo vzeti si prve počitnice v štirih letih

and stepping away from my business for a month to go to London,

in se oddaljiti od mojega posla za en mesec, da bi šel v London,

where I could stay in a friend's room for free,

kjer sem lahko bival v prijateljevi sobi zastonj,

to either remove myself as a bottleneck in the business

da se bi se odstranil iz posla,

or shut it down.

ali pa ga preprosto zaprl.

In the first column, "Define,"

V prvem stolpcu "Definiraj,"

you're writing down all of the worst things you can imagine happening

si zabeležiš vse možne slabe izide, ki se lahko zgodijo

if you take that step.

če slediš temu koraku.

You want 10 to 20.

Želiš si jih 10 do 20.

I won't go through all of them, but I'll give you two examples.

Ne bom šel čez vse, vam bom pa dal dva primera.

One was, I'll go to London, it'll be rainy, I'll get depressed,

Eden je, šel bom v London, deževalo bo, depresiven bom,

the whole thing will be a huge waste of time.

vse skupaj bo velika izguba časa.

Number two, I'll miss a letter from the IRS,

Številka dve, zamudil bom obvestilo z davčne službe

and I'll get audited

in opravili mi bodo revizijo,

or raided or shut down or some such.

me kako drugače napadli, zaprli, ali kaj podobnega.

And then you go to the "Prevent" column.

In potem sledi stolpec "Prepreči".

In that column, you write down the answer to:

V tem stolpcu si zabeležite odgovore na:

What could I do to prevent each of these bullets from happening,

Kaj lahko storim, da preprečim vsako izmed napisanih točk,

or, at the very least, decrease the likelihood even a little bit?

ali, nenazadnje, zmanjšam možnost, da bi se zgodile?

So for getting depressed in London,

Za točko, da bom v Londonu postal depresiven,

I could take a portable blue light with me

s seboj bi lahko vzel prenosno modro lučko

and use it for 15 minutes in the morning.

in jo uporabljal 15 minut vsako jutro.

I knew that helped stave off depressive episodes.

Vedel sem, da to prepreči epizode depresije.

For the IRS bit, I could change the mailing address on file with the IRS

Glede davčne pa, lahko bi spremenil naslov za pošiljanje,

so the paperwork would go to my accountant

tako da bi šli papirji k moji računovodji,

instead of to my UPS address.

namesto na moj kurirski naslov.

Easy-peasy.

Mala malica.

Then we go to "Repair."

Nato nadaljujemo z "Popravi".

So if the worst-case scenarios happen,

Tako da, če se zgodi najslabša možnost,

what could you do to repair the damage even a little bit,

kaj lahko storimo, da vsaj malo popravimo škodo

or who could you ask for help?

oziroma, koga prositi za pomoč?

So in the first case, London,

Za prvi primer torej, London,

well, I could fork over some money, fly to Spain, get some sun --

lahko bi namenil nekaj denarja, letel v Španijo, se malo posončil,

undo the damage, if I got into a funk.

popravil škodo, če bi bil res nesrečen.

In the case of missing a letter from the IRS,

V primeru izgubljenega obvestila z davčne,

I could call a friend who is a lawyer

lahko bi poklical prijatelja, ki je odvetnik,

or ask, say, a professor of law

ali pa vprašal, recimo, profesorja prava,

what they would recommend,

kaj priporočata,

who I should talk to, how had people handled this in the past.

s kom govoriti o tem, ter kako so ljudje to rešili v preteklosti.

So one question to keep in mind as you're doing this first page is:

Torej, eno vprašanje, ko popisujete prvo stran je:

Has anyone else in the history of time

Je že kdorkoli v zgodovini časa,

less intelligent or less driven

manj inteligenten ali manj zagnan,

figured this out?

to ugotovil?

Chances are, the answer is "Yes."

Velika verjetnost je, da bo odgovor "Da".

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

The second page is simple:

Druga stran je preprosta:

What might be the benefits of an attempt or a partial success?

Kakšne so lahko prednosti poskusa, ali pa delnega uspeha?

You can see we're playing up the fears

Vidite lahko, da se igramo s strahovi

and really taking a conservative look at the upside.

in imamo zares konzervativen pogled nanje.

So if you attempted whatever you're considering,

Torej, če ste poskusili, karkoli ste mislili,

might you build confidence, develop skills,

morda ste gradili samozavest, spretnosti,

emotionally, financially, otherwise?

čustveno, finančno, kako drugače?

What might be the benefits of, say, a base hit?

Kaj so lahko prednosti, varnega udarca?

Spend 10 to 15 minutes on this.

Porabite 10 do 15 minut za to.

Page three.

Stran tri.

This might be the most important, so don't skip it:

Verjetno najpomembnejša, zato je ne preskočite:

"The Cost of Inaction."

"Stroški ne-ukrepanja."

Humans are very good at considering what might go wrong

Ljudje smo odlični pri razmišljanju, kaj bi lahko šlo narobe,

if we try something new, say, ask for a raise.

ko bi lahko poskusili kaj novega, recimo, prosili za povišico.

What we don't often consider is the atrocious cost of the status quo --

Kar pa ne pomislimo je, kako grozna je lahko cena, če stvari ostanejo iste --

not changing anything.

če ničesar ne spremenimo.

So you should ask yourself,

Tako da bi se morali vprašati,

if I avoid this action or decision

če se izognemo temu ukrepu ali odločitvi

and actions and decisions like it,

in podobnim ukrepom in odločitvam,

what might my life look like in, say, six months, 12 months, three years?

kako bo moje življenje izgledalo čez tri, šest, 12 mesecev, čez tri leta?

Any further out, it starts to seem intangible.

Če greste dlje začne delovati neoprijemljivo.

And really get detailed -- again, emotionally, financially,

Če pa se spustimo v podrobnosti -- ponovno, čustveno, finančno,

physically, whatever.

fizično, kakorkoli.

And when I did this, it painted a terrifying picture.

In, ko sem to storil, se mi je naslikal grozen prizor.

I was self-medicating,

Samo-zdravil sem se,

my business was going to implode at any moment at all times,

moje podjetje bi se podrlo kadarkoli,

if I didn't step away.

če ne bi stopil stran.

My relationships were fraying or failing.

Boril sem se za odnose.

And I realized that inaction was no longer an option for me.

In odkril sem, da ne-ukrepanje ni bilo več prava možnost zame.

Those are the three pages. That's it. That's fear-setting.

To so te tri strani. To je to. To je določanje strahov.

And after this, I realized that on a scale of one to 10,

In po tem sem ugotovil, na lestvici od ena do deset,

one being minimal impact, 10 being maximal impact,

ena pomeni najmanjši, deset pa največji vpliv,

if I took the trip, I was risking

če se odločim za to pot, tvegam

a one to three of temporary and reversible pain

začasno in povratno bolečino od ena do tri

for an eight to 10 of positive, life-changing impact

za osem do 10 pozitivne življenjske spremembe,

that could be a semi-permanent.

ki je lahko delno-stalna.

So I took the trip.

Zato sem se odločil za to pot.

None of the disasters came to pass.

Nobena od katastrof se ni uresničila.

There were some hiccups, sure.

Bilo je nekaj trenj, seveda.

I was able to extricate myself from the business.

Uspel sem se oddaljiti od podjetja.

I ended up extending that trip for a year and a half around the world,

Na koncu sem podaljšal pot in sem leto in pol potoval okoli sveta,

and that became the basis for my first book,

kar je postalo osnova za mojo prvo knjigo,

that leads me here today.

ki me je danes pripeljala sem.

And I can trace all of my biggest wins

In sledim lahko mojim največjim zmagam

and all of my biggest disasters averted

in največjim katastrofam, ki sem se jim izognil

back to doing fear-setting

in se vrnem k določanju strahov,

at least once a quarter.

vsaj enkrat na tri mesece.

It's not a panacea.

To ni zdravilo za vse.

You'll find that some of your fears are very well-founded.

Ugotovili boste, da so nekateri vaši strahovi utemeljeni.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

But you shouldn't conclude that

A tega ne bi smeli zaključiti,

without first putting them under a microscope.

brez da jih najprej date pod drobnogled.

And it doesn't make all the hard times, the hard choices, easy,

In to ne povzroči, da so težki časi in težke odločitve lahke,

but it can make a lot of them easier.

a lahko jih olajša.

I'd like to close with a profile of one of my favorite modern-day Stoics.

Rad bi zaključil z opisom enega mojih najljubših modernih stoikov.

This is Jerzy Gregorek.

To je Jerzy Gregorek.

He is a four-time world champion in Olympic weightlifting,

Je štirikratni svetovni prvak v olimpijskem dviganju uteži,

political refugee,

politični ubežnik,

published poet,

objavljeni poet,

62 years old.

62 let star.

He can still kick my ass and probably most asses in this room.

Še vedno pretepe mene in mnoge izmed vas.

He's an impressive guy.

Res je impresiven gospod.

I spent a lot of time on his stoa, his porch,

Veliko časa sem preživel na njegovi stoi, verandi,

asking life and training advice.

ga spraševal o življenju in treningih.

He was part of the Solidarity in Poland,

Bil je del društva Solidarnost na Poljskem

which was a nonviolent movement for social change

ki je ne-nasilno društvo za socialne spremembe,

that was violently suppressed by the government.

ki pa ga je vlada nasilno zatrla.

He lost his career as a firefighter.

Izgubil je kariero kot gasilec.

Then his mentor, a priest, was kidnapped, tortured, killed

Nato je bil njegov mentor, duhovnik, ugrabljen, mučen in ubit

and thrown into a river.

in vržen v reko.

He was then threatened.

Nato so grozili njemu.

He and his wife had to flee Poland, bounce from country to country

Skupaj z ženo sta pobegnila iz Poljske, hodila iz države v državo,

until they landed in the US with next to nothing,

dokler nista prišla v Ameriko, praktično brez vsega,

sleeping on floors.

spala sta na tleh.

He now lives in Woodside, California, in a very nice place,

Sedaj živi v Woodsidu, Kalifornija, v zelo lepem kraju

and of the 10,000-plus people I've met in my life,

in od 10.000-ih ljudi, ki sem jih spoznal v življenju,

I would put him in the top 10,

bi njega uvrstil med top 10,

in terms of success and happiness.

če merimo uspeh in srečo.

And there's a punchline coming, so pay attention.

Vse to ima bistvo, ostanite pozorni.

I sent him a text a few weeks ago,

Pred nekaj tedni sem mu poslal sporočilo

asking him: Had he ever read any Stoic philosophy?

in ga vprašal, če je kdaj bral stoicistično filozofijo?

And he replied with two pages of text.

In odgovoril je na dveh straneh.

This is very unlike him. He is a terse dude.

To sicer ni njemu podobno, je mož malo besed.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

And not only was he familiar with stoicism,

In ne samo, da je poznal stoicizem,

but he pointed out, for all of his most important decisions,

poudaril je, kako je za vse njegove najpomembnejše odločitve,

his inflection points,

vse točke prepletanja,

when he stood up for his principles and ethics,

ko je stal za svojimi principi in etiko,

how he had used stoicism and something akin to fear-setting,

uporabil stoicizem in nekaj podobnega določanju strahov,

which blew my mind.

kar me je šokiralo.

And he closed with two things.

In zaključil je z dvema točkama.

Number one: he couldn't imagine any life more beautiful

Številka ena: ni si mogel predstavljati lepšega življenja,

than that of a Stoic.

kot stoičnega.

And the last was his mantra, which he applies to everything,

In zadnja je bila njegova mantra, ki jo uveljavlja pri vsem

and you can apply to everything:

in jo tudi vi lahko:

"Easy choices, hard life.

"Lahke odločitve, težko življenje.

Hard choices, easy life."

Težke odločitve, lahko življenje."

The hard choices --

Težke odločitve --

what we most fear doing, asking, saying --

česar se najbolj bojimo storiti, vprašati, povedati,

these are very often exactly what we most need to do.

te so najpogosteje točno tisto, kar moramo storiti.

And the biggest challenges and problems we face

In največji izzivi, največji problemi, ki jih imamo,

will never be solved with comfortable conversations,

nikoli ne bodo mogli biti rešeni s preprostimi pogovori,

whether it's in your own head or with other people.

ne glede na to, ali so samo v vaših glavah ali z drugimi.

So I encourage you to ask yourselves:

Zato vas spodbujam, da se vprašate:

Where in your lives right now

Kje v vaših življenjih, trenutno,

might defining your fears be more important than defining your goals?

bi definiranje strahov lahko bilo bolj pomembno, kot definiranje ciljev?

Keeping in mind all the while, the words of Seneca:

V mislih imejte besede Seneca:

"We suffer more often in imagination than in reality."

"Pogosteje trpimo bolj v domišljiji kot v realnosti."

Thank you very much.

Najlepša vam hvala.

(Applause)

(Aplavz)