Why you should define your fears instead of your goals | Tim Ferriss | TED

譯者: Lilian Chiu 審譯者: Yanyan Hong

So, this happy pic of me was taken in 1999.

我這張笑嘻嘻的照片 是 1999 年拍的，

I was a senior in college,

我當時大學四年級，

and it was right after a dance practice.

是在一個跳舞派對之後拍的。

I was really, really happy.

我那時非常非常開心，

And I remember exactly where I was about a week and a half later.

我還記得大約十天後我在哪兒。

I was sitting in the back of my used minivan

我坐在我的二手箱型車後面，

in a campus parking lot,

車停在校園的停車場裡。

when I decided

那時我決定，

I was going to commit suicide.

我要自殺，

I went from deciding to full-blown planning very quickly.

下決定之後我很快就做好充分計畫，

And I came this close to the edge of the precipice.

我離懸崖的邊緣只有這麼近。

It's the closest I've ever come.

這是我最接近的一次，

And the only reason I took my finger off the trigger

我沒有扣下扳機的唯一原因

was thanks to a few lucky coincidences.

要感謝幾個幸運的巧合。

And after the fact,

在那件事之後，

that's what scared me the most: the element of chance.

最讓我受驚的是：運氣的元素。

So I became very methodical about testing different ways

所以我開始有條理地測試不同方法，

that I could manage my ups and downs,

試著管理我的起起落落，

which has proven to be a good investment. (Laughs)

後來證明這是個值得的投資（笑聲）。

Many normal people might have, say, six to 10 major depressive episodes

許多正常人一生會有 6 到 10 次

in their lives.

憂鬱發作，

I have bipolar depression. It runs in my family.

我有躁鬱症，是家庭遺傳。

I've had 50-plus at this point,

我已經發作過 50 次以上了，

and I've learned a lot.

我學到很多。

I've had a lot of at-bats,

我有過很多的上壘打擊數，

many rounds in the ring with darkness,

與黑暗在拳擊場上打過很多回合，

taking good notes.

做了很多有用的筆記，

So I thought rather than get up and give any type of recipe for success

所以我想，與其給大家成功妙方

or highlight reel,

或精華影片，

I would share my recipe for avoiding self-destruction,

我要分享的是避免自我毀滅的妙方。

and certainly self-paralysis.

當然還有避免自我癱瘓，

And the tool I've found which has proven to be the most reliable safety net

我找到的工具 被證明是在情緒自由落體時，

for emotional free fall

最可靠的安全網，

is actually the same tool

這個工具其實也就是

that has helped me to make my best business decisions.

協助我做出最佳生意決策的工具，

But that is secondary.

但那就是次要的了，

And it is ... stoicism.

它就是……斯多葛主義。

That sounds boring.

聽起來很無趣。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

You might think of Spock,

你可能會想到星際爭霸戰的史巴克，

or it might conjure and image like this --

你也可能會想起這樣的畫面……

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

a cow standing in the rain.

站在雨中的一頭牛，

It's not sad. It's not particularly happy.

牠並不悲傷，牠並不特別快樂，

It's just an impassive creature taking whatever life sends its way.

牠只是一隻無感覺的動物， 生活給牠什麼牠就接受什麼。

You might not think of the ultimate competitor, say, Bill Belichick,

你可能不會想到偉大的競賽者 比如比爾貝利奇克，

head coach of the New England Patriots,

他是新英格蘭愛國者的教頭，

who has the all-time NFL record for Super Bowl titles.

他是問鼎國家美式足球聯盟 (NFL) 超級盃的記錄保持人，

And stoicism has spread like wildfire in the top of the NFL ranks

過去幾年，斯多葛主義就像 野火一樣不斷擴散，

在 NFL 頂尖球隊中， 被當作精神強悍訓練的手段。

as a means of mental toughness training in the last few years.

You might not think of the Founding Fathers --

你可能不會想到開國始祖們，

Thomas Jefferson, John Adams, George Washington

湯瑪士傑佛遜、 約翰亞當斯、喬治華盛頓，

to name but three students of stoicism.

我只舉這三位 斯多葛主義的學生為例。

George Washington actually had a play about a Stoic --

喬治華盛頓還有 一齣關於斯多葛主義的劇，

this was "Cato, a Tragedy" --

叫做「卡托：一部悲劇」，

performed for his troops at Valley Forge to keep them motivated.

在佛吉谷演出給他的士兵看， 以保持他們的積極。

So why would people of action focus so much on an ancient philosophy?

所以為什麼行動家們 如此重視這古老的哲學？

This seems very academic.

這似乎很學術，

I would encourage you to think about stoicism a little bit differently,

我會鼓勵你用稍微 不同的方式來思考斯多葛主義，

as an operating system for thriving in high-stress environments,

把它想成在高壓環境中 邁向成功的作業系統，

for making better decisions.

用來做出更佳的決策。

And it all started here,

一切的開始，是在這裡，

kind of,

可以算是啦！

on a porch.

在一個門廊，

So around 300 BC in Athens,

在雅典，大約西元前 300 年，

someone named Zeno of Citium taught many lectures

有個人叫做季蒂昂的芝諾， 他教導了很多課程，

walking around a painted porch, a "stoa."

他在一個長廊上來回走著， 長廊稱為「stoa」，

That later became "stoicism."

這個字之後演變成 「stoicism（斯多葛主義）。」

And in the Greco-Roman world,

在希臘羅馬世界裡，

people used stoicism as a comprehensive system

人們把斯多葛主義 當作是一種綜合系統，

for doing many, many things.

做很多很多事情時都會用到，

But for our purposes, chief among them was training yourself

但對我們，最主要的目的 就是訓練自我，

to separate what you can control from what you cannot control,

把你能控制的和你無法控制的分開，

and then doing exercises to focus exclusively

然後做一些練習， 讓你能完全只把焦點放在前者，

on the former.

This decreases emotional reactivity,

這會降低情緒反應，

which can be a superpower.

可說是種超能力。

Conversely, let's say you're a quarterback.

相反地，比如說你是個四分衛，

You miss a pass. You get furious with yourself.

你漏接了一個傳球，你很氣你自己，

That could cost you a game.

那可能會害你輸掉整場比賽。

If you're a CEO, and you fly off the handle at a very valued employee

比如你是總裁，你對一個 非常有價值的員工大發脾氣，

because of a minor infraction,

原因只是他在一件小事違背了你，

that could cost you the employee.

你可能就會失去這個員工。

If you're a college student who, say, is in a downward spiral,

比如你是個大學生 且身處向下沉的螺旋當中，

and you feel helpless and hopeless,

你感到無助、沒希望，

unabated, that could cost you your life.

結果可能是會讓你失去生命。

So the stakes are very, very high.

所以賭注是非常非常高的。

And there are many tools in the toolkit to get you there.

在工具包中有許多工具 能讓你達到目的，

I'm going to focus on one that completely changed my life in 2004.

我只打算強調一種，

這工具在 2004 年 完全改變了我的人生。

It found me then because of two things:

它那時會找到我，有兩個原因：

a very close friend, young guy, my age, died of pancreatic cancer unexpectedly,

一個很親的朋友， 與我同年的年輕人，

未預期地因為胰臟癌過世，

and then my girlfriend, who I thought I was going to marry, walked out.

以及我的女友， 我本來以為我們會結婚，

但她離開了我，

She'd had enough, and she didn't give me a Dear John letter,

她受夠了，她沒有寫絕交信給我，

but she did give me this,

但她給了我這個，

a Dear John plaque.

一張絕交飾板。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

I'm not making this up. I've kept it.

這不是我編出來的，我還留著它，

"Business hours are over at five o'clock."

「上班時間到五點為止。」

She gave this to me to put on my desk for personal health,

她給我這個，讓我放在書桌上， 為了我個人健康著想，

because at the time, I was working on my first real business.

因為那時，我在努力打拼我 第一個真正的事業，

I had no idea what I was doing. I was working 14-plus hour days,

我不知道我在幹什麼 我一天工作超過 14 小時，

seven days a week.

一週工作七天。

I was using stimulants to get going.

我要靠興奮劑來維持，

I was using depressants to wind down and go to sleep.

我要吃鎮靜劑來放鬆下來和入睡，

It was a disaster.

那是個災難。

I felt completely trapped.

我感覺自己完全被困住了，

I bought a book on simplicity to try to find answers.

我買了一本關於「簡單」的書 試圖找出答案。

And I did find a quote that made a big difference in my life,

我的確在書中找到一句話 在我的人生中造成很大的不同，

which was, "We suffer more often in imagination than in reality,"

那句話就是：

「我們在想像中所受的苦 比在現實中還多」，

by Seneca the Younger,

塞內卡說的。

who was a famous Stoic writer.

他是個知名的斯多葛學派作家，

That took me to his letters,

那句話引導我去讀他的信，

which took me to the exercise,

他的信引導我去練習，

"premeditatio malorum,"

「premeditatio malorum」

which means the pre-meditation of evils.

意思是：對邪惡的事先冥思。

In simple terms,

簡單來說，

this is visualizing the worst-case scenarios, in detail, that you fear,

是將你害怕的、 會讓你不採取行動的最糟情況，

preventing you from taking action,

做細節的視覺化想像，

so that you can take action to overcome that paralysis.

讓你能夠採取行動來克服那癱瘓，

My problem was monkey mind -- super loud, very incessant.

我的問題是心猿意馬── 它非常大聲、持續不斷，

Just thinking my way through problems doesn't work.

光是想著我要如何渡過問題 對我來說是沒用的。

I needed to capture my thoughts on paper.

我需要把我的思路寫在紙上，

So I created a written exercise

所以我創造了一個書寫練習，

that I called "fear-setting," like goal-setting,

稱為「恐懼設定」， 就像目標設定一樣，

for myself.

為我自己而做，

It consists of three pages.

它包含了三頁，

Super simple.

超簡單。

The first page is right here.

第一頁就在這裡，

"What if I ...?"

「如果我……會如何？」

This is whatever you fear,

指的是你懼怕的任何事，

whatever is causing you anxiety,

造成你焦慮的事，

whatever you're putting off.

你在拖延的事，

It could be asking someone out,

有可能是開口約某個人出去，

ending a relationship,

結束一段戀情，

asking for a promotion, quitting a job, starting a company.

要求升官、辭掉工作、 創立一間公司，

It could be anything.

可能是任何事。

For me, it was taking my first vacation in four years

對我而言是去渡假 我四年都沒做過這件事，

and stepping away from my business for a month to go to London,

去倫敦，離開我的事業一個月，

where I could stay in a friend's room for free,

在那兒我可以免費住在一個朋友家，

to either remove myself as a bottleneck in the business

我可以把我自己這個瓶頸 從事業中移除

or shut it down.

或是停業。

In the first column, "Define,"

第一欄，「定義」，

you're writing down all of the worst things you can imagine happening

你要寫下的是，如果踏出那一步，

你能想像出所有 可能會發生的最糟事情，

if you take that step.

You want 10 to 20.

你應該要寫 10 到 20 項，

我不打算全部討論， 但我會舉兩個例子，

I won't go through all of them, but I'll give you two examples.

One was, I'll go to London, it'll be rainy, I'll get depressed,

其一是：我會去倫敦， 那兒常下雨，所以我會很沮喪，

the whole thing will be a huge waste of time.

整件事會是在浪費時間。

Number two, I'll miss a letter from the IRS,

第二：我會錯過來自國稅局的信，

and I'll get audited

然後我會被稽查

or raided or shut down or some such.

或被突襲檢查、或被關閉等等。

And then you go to the "Prevent" column.

接著就要到「預防」那一欄。

In that column, you write down the answer to:

在那一欄，你要寫下的是，

What could I do to prevent each of these bullets from happening,

我能做什麼來預防這每一件事發生，

or, at the very least, decrease the likelihood even a little bit?

或是至少把發生的可能性降低一點？

So for getting depressed in London,

所以，針對在倫敦感到沮喪這一項，

I could take a portable blue light with me

我可以隨身帶著可攜式藍光，

and use it for 15 minutes in the morning.

早上用 15 分鐘，

我知道那能協助防止憂鬱發作。

I knew that helped stave off depressive episodes.

For the IRS bit, I could change the mailing address on file with the IRS

針對國稅局一事 我可以向他們提出更改郵寄地址，

so the paperwork would go to my accountant

文書就會被寄給我的會計，

instead of to my UPS address.

而不是我自己的美國郵政地址。

Easy-peasy.

輕而易舉。

Then we go to "Repair."

接著下一欄是「修復」，

So if the worst-case scenarios happen,

如果最糟的情況發生了，

what could you do to repair the damage even a little bit,

你能做什麼來稍微 修復造成的損害？

or who could you ask for help?

或是你能向誰求助？

So in the first case, London,

所以，在倫敦的例子中，

well, I could fork over some money, fly to Spain, get some sun --

我可以不情願地多花點錢 飛到西班牙，曬曬太陽，

undo the damage, if I got into a funk.

如果我感到懼怕， 這樣可以將損害給消除。

In the case of missing a letter from the IRS,

在錯失國稅局信件的例子中，

I could call a friend who is a lawyer

我可以打電話給律師朋友，

or ask, say, a professor of law

或是比如問法律教授，

what they would recommend,

看他們有什麼建議，

who I should talk to, how had people handled this in the past.

我該去找誰談， 過去人們如何處理這種問題。

So one question to keep in mind as you're doing this first page is:

所以，在做第一頁的時候 有一件事要銘記在心，

Has anyone else in the history of time

在過去歷史上有沒有

less intelligent or less driven

沒你聰明、沒你那麼有動機的人

figured this out?

找出過答案？

Chances are, the answer is "Yes."

很可能，是有的。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

The second page is simple:

第二頁很簡單，

What might be the benefits of an attempt or a partial success?

如果去嘗試或是達成部分成功 會有什麼益處？

You can see we're playing up the fears

你可以看得出來， 我們在過度強調恐懼，

and really taking a conservative look at the upside.

用保守的視角來看好的一面，

So if you attempted whatever you're considering,

所以如果你試著 去做你在考慮要做的事，

might you build confidence, develop skills,

你是否可能會建立信心， 發展出技能，

emotionally, financially, otherwise?

不論是情緒上、財務上或其他？

What might be the benefits of, say, a base hit?

如果擊出二三壘安打或全壘打 會有什麼好處？

Spend 10 to 15 minutes on this.

在這裡花個 10 到 15 分鐘。

Page three.

第三頁，

This might be the most important, so don't skip it:

這可能是最重要的， 所以不要跳過它，

"The Cost of Inaction."

「不行動的代價」，

Humans are very good at considering what might go wrong

人類非常擅長去思考哪兒可能出錯，

if we try something new, say, ask for a raise.

如果我們試點新東西， 比如，要求加薪，

What we don't often consider is the atrocious cost of the status quo --

我們通常不會去思考的是 維持現狀的代價有多糟，

not changing anything.

不改變任何事的代價。

So you should ask yourself,

所以你應該問問自己，

if I avoid this action or decision

如果我避開不做這個行動或決策，

and actions and decisions like it,

以及類似的行動和決策，

what might my life look like in, say, six months, 12 months, three years?

6 個月、12 個月、3 年之後 我的人生會是什麼樣子？

Any further out, it starts to seem intangible.

再遠的話可能就會太難確定了。

And really get detailed -- again, emotionally, financially,

真正去想細節， 不論是情緒上、財務上，

physically, whatever.

身體上……都可以。

And when I did this, it painted a terrifying picture.

當我這麼做的時候 產生了一個很嚇人的畫面，

I was self-medicating,

我在自我治療，

my business was going to implode at any moment at all times,

隨時，我的事業都有可能內爆，

如果我不退開的話，

if I didn't step away.

My relationships were fraying or failing.

我的戀情在磨損或走向失敗，

And I realized that inaction was no longer an option for me.

我了解到，我不能選擇不行動，

Those are the three pages. That's it. That's fear-setting.

三頁就是這樣而已， 那就是恐懼設定。

And after this, I realized that on a scale of one to 10,

這之後，我了解到 若評分 1 到 10 分，

one being minimal impact, 10 being maximal impact,

1 分表示影響最小 10 分表示影響最大，

if I took the trip, I was risking

如果我選擇旅行，我冒的風險

a one to three of temporary and reversible pain

是 1 到 3 分的暫時性痛苦， 且它是可反轉的，

for an eight to 10 of positive, life-changing impact

但有著 8 到 10 分的 改變人生式影響，

that could be a semi-permanent.

這影響可能是半永久性的，

So I took the trip.

所以我選擇去旅行了。

那些災難都沒發生，

None of the disasters came to pass.

There were some hiccups, sure.

當然有一些小問題沒錯，

I was able to extricate myself from the business.

我得以讓自己從事業中解脫，

I ended up extending that trip for a year and a half around the world,

我最後把它延長為 一年半的世界之旅，

and that became the basis for my first book,

那成了我第一本書的基礎，

that leads me here today.

引導我今天到這裡。

And I can trace all of my biggest wins

針對我所有的大成功 以及避開的大災難，

and all of my biggest disasters averted

我都可以追溯回

back to doing fear-setting

我做的恐懼設定，

at least once a quarter.

至少一季做一次。

It's not a panacea.

它不是萬靈丹，

You'll find that some of your fears are very well-founded.

你會發現你的恐懼中 有些的確有很好的根基。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

But you shouldn't conclude that

但你還沒用顯微鏡觀看它們之前，

without first putting them under a microscope.

不該先下這樣的結論，

And it doesn't make all the hard times, the hard choices, easy,

而且它不會讓難熬的時刻 或困難的選擇全都變得輕鬆容易，

but it can make a lot of them easier.

但會讓當中許多都變得 比較輕鬆容易些，

I'd like to close with a profile of one of my favorite modern-day Stoics.

我想用我最喜歡的 現代斯多葛主義者來作結。

This is Jerzy Gregorek.

這是傑西葛雷哥雷克，

He is a four-time world champion in Olympic weightlifting,

他四度贏得奧運舉重冠軍，

political refugee,

政治難民，

published poet,

有出版作品的詩人，

62 years old.

62 歲，

He can still kick my ass and probably most asses in this room.

他仍然能打趴我， 打趴這間房間中大部分的人，

He's an impressive guy.

他是個讓人敬畏的人，

I spent a lot of time on his stoa, his porch,

我花了很多時間 在他的拱廊，他的門廊上，

asking life and training advice.

詢問關於人生和訓練的建議。

He was part of the Solidarity in Poland,

他是波蘭團結工聯的一員，

which was a nonviolent movement for social change

團結工聯是個 非暴力的社會改變運動，

that was violently suppressed by the government.

但受到政府暴力打壓。

He lost his career as a firefighter.

他失去了救火員的工作，

Then his mentor, a priest, was kidnapped, tortured, killed

然後，他的導師，一名牧師 被綁架、虐待、然後殺害，

and thrown into a river.

棄屍到河裡。

He was then threatened.

他接著被威脅。

He and his wife had to flee Poland, bounce from country to country

他和他的太太必須要逃離波蘭， 在國家間逃來逃去，

until they landed in the US with next to nothing,

直到他們抵達美國，幾乎一無所有，

sleeping on floors.

睡在地板上。

He now lives in Woodside, California, in a very nice place,

他現在住在加州的伍賽德， 一個很棒的地方，

and of the 10,000-plus people I've met in my life,

在我一生中見過至少一萬個人，

I would put him in the top 10,

就成功和快樂方面來說，

in terms of success and happiness.

我會把他排在前十名，

And there's a punchline coming, so pay attention.

結尾畫龍點睛之語要來了，注意。

I sent him a text a few weeks ago,

幾週前我傳了訊息給他，

asking him: Had he ever read any Stoic philosophy?

問他：他是否有讀過 任何斯多葛哲學？

And he replied with two pages of text.

他回覆了兩頁的文字，

This is very unlike him. He is a terse dude.

這很不像他，他是個用字精簡的人。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

And not only was he familiar with stoicism,

他不僅對斯多葛學派很熟悉，

but he pointed out, for all of his most important decisions,

他還指出，他所有的重要決定，

his inflection points,

他的反轉點，

when he stood up for his principles and ethics,

當他為了他的原則 和道德準則挺身而出，

how he had used stoicism and something akin to fear-setting,

他都用到了斯多葛主義 以及類似恐懼設定的方法，

which blew my mind.

這讓我震撼，

And he closed with two things.

他以兩件事作結：

Number one: he couldn't imagine any life more beautiful

第一：他無法想像有任何人生

than that of a Stoic.

能比斯多葛學派的人生更美。

And the last was his mantra, which he applies to everything,

第二是他的真言， 他用在所有事情上，

and you can apply to everything:

你也可以用在所有事情上，

"Easy choices, hard life.

「輕鬆的選擇，困難的人生。

Hard choices, easy life."

困難的選擇，輕鬆的人生。」

The hard choices --

困難的選擇──

what we most fear doing, asking, saying --

我們最怕去做、去問、去說的事──

these are very often exactly what we most need to do.

常常正是我們需要去做的事。

And the biggest challenges and problems we face

我們所面對最大的挑戰和問題，

will never be solved with comfortable conversations,

永遠不可能透過舒適的對話來解決，

whether it's in your own head or with other people.

不論是你腦中的自我對話 或與他人的對話。

So I encourage you to ask yourselves:

所以我鼓勵你們問問自己，

現在在你們的人生中有哪些地方，

Where in your lives right now

might defining your fears be more important than defining your goals?

定義你的恐懼 會比定義你的目標更重要？

Keeping in mind all the while, the words of Seneca:

別忘記塞內卡的話：

"We suffer more often in imagination than in reality."

「我們在想像中所受的苦 比在現實中還多」。

Thank you very much.

非常謝謝大家。

(Applause)

（鼓掌）