Why you should define your fears instead of your goals | Tim Ferriss | TED

4,439,100 views ใƒป 2017-07-14

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ืื ื ืœื—ืฅ ืคืขืžื™ื™ื ืขืœ ื”ื›ืชื•ื‘ื™ื•ืช ื‘ืื ื’ืœื™ืช ืœืžื˜ื” ื›ื“ื™ ืœื”ืคืขื™ืœ ืืช ื”ืกืจื˜ื•ืŸ.

ืžืชืจื’ื: Zeeva Livshitz ืžื‘ืงืจ: Sigal Tifferet
00:12
So, this happy pic of me was taken in 1999.
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ื”ืชืžื•ื ื” ื”ืฉืžื—ื” ื”ื–ื• ืฉืœื™ ืฆื•ืœืžื” ื‘-1999.
00:15
I was a senior in college,
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ื”ื™ื™ืชื™ ื‘ืฉื ืชื™ ื”ืื—ืจื•ื ื” ื‘ืงื•ืœื’',
00:18
and it was right after a dance practice.
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ื•ื”ื™ื ืฆื•ืœืžื” ืžื™ื“ ืœืื—ืจ ืื™ืžื•ืŸ ืžื—ื•ืœ.
00:20
I was really, really happy.
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ื”ื™ื™ืชื™ ืžืžืฉ ืžืžืฉ ืžืื•ืฉืจ.
00:22
And I remember exactly where I was about a week and a half later.
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ื•ืื ื™ ื–ื•ื›ืจ ื‘ื“ื™ื•ืง ืื™ืคื” ื”ื™ื™ืชื™ ื›ืฉื‘ื•ืข ื•ื—ืฆื™ ืœืื—ืจ ืžื›ืŸ.
00:26
I was sitting in the back of my used minivan
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ื™ืฉื‘ืชื™ ื‘ืžื•ืฉื‘ ื”ืื—ื•ืจื™ ืฉืœ ื”ืžื™ื ื™ื•ื•ืืŸ ื”ืžืฉื•ืžืฉ ืฉืœื™
00:29
in a campus parking lot,
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ื‘ืžื’ืจืฉ ื”ื—ื ื™ื” ืฉืœ ื”ืงืžืคื•ืก,
00:31
when I decided
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ื•ืื– ื”ื—ืœื˜ืชื™
00:32
I was going to commit suicide.
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ืฉืื ื™ ื”ื•ืœืš ืœื”ืชืื‘ื“.
00:35
I went from deciding to full-blown planning very quickly.
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ืขื‘ืจืชื™ ืžื”ืจ ืžืื“ ืžื”ื—ืœื˜ื” ืœืชื›ื ื•ืŸ ืžืœื.
00:40
And I came this close to the edge of the precipice.
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ื•ื”ืชืงืจื‘ืชื™ ื›ื›ื” ืœืงืฆื” ื”ืชื”ื•ื.
00:43
It's the closest I've ever come.
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ื›ืœ ื›ืš ืงืจื•ื‘ ืœื–ื” ืžืขื•ืœื ืœื ื”ื™ื™ืชื™.
00:45
And the only reason I took my finger off the trigger
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ื•ื”ืกื™ื‘ื” ื”ื™ื—ื™ื“ื” ืฉื‘ื’ืœืœื” ื”ืกืจืชื™ ืืช ื”ืืฆื‘ืข ืžื”ื”ื“ืง
00:48
was thanks to a few lucky coincidences.
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ื”ื™ืชื” ื‘ื–ื›ื•ืช ื›ืžื” ืฆืจื•ืคื™ ืžืงืจื™ื.
00:51
And after the fact,
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ื•ืœืื—ืจ ืžื›ืŸ,
00:53
that's what scared me the most: the element of chance.
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ืžื” ืฉื”ื›ื™ ื”ืคื—ื™ื“ ืื•ืชื™: ื”ื™ื” ืจื›ื™ื‘ ื”ืžืงืจื™ื•ืช.
00:57
So I became very methodical about testing different ways
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ืœื›ืŸ ื”ืชื—ืœืชื™ ืœื‘ื—ื•ืŸ ื‘ืฉื™ื˜ืชื™ื•ืช ืจื‘ื” ื•ื‘ื“ืจื›ื™ื ืฉื•ื ื•ืช
01:00
that I could manage my ups and downs,
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ื›ื“ื™ ืฉืื•ื›ืœ ืœื ื”ืœ ืืช ื”ืžืขืœื•ืช ื•ื”ืžื•ืจื“ื•ืช ืฉืœื™,
01:02
which has proven to be a good investment. (Laughs)
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ืžื” ืฉื”ื•ื›ื— ื›ื”ืฉืงืขื” ื˜ื•ื‘ื”. (ืฆื•ื—ืง).
01:06
Many normal people might have, say, six to 10 major depressive episodes
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ืœืื ืฉื™ื ื ื•ืจืžืœื™ื™ื ืจื‘ื™ื ื™ืฉ, ื ื ื™ื—, 6 ืขื“ 10 ืืคื™ื–ื•ื“ื•ืช ืฉืœ ื“ื™ื›ืื•ืŸ ืžื–'ื•ืจื™
01:10
in their lives.
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ื‘ื—ื™ื™ื”ื.
01:12
I have bipolar depression. It runs in my family.
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ืœื™ ื™ืฉ ื”ืคืจืขื” ื“ื•-ืงื•ื˜ื‘ื™ืช. ืฉืขื•ื‘ืจืช ื‘ืžืฉืคื—ื” ืฉืœื™.
01:14
I've had 50-plus at this point,
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ื‘ืื•ืชื• ืฉืœื‘ ื”ื™ื• ืœื™ ื›ื‘ืจ ื™ื•ืชืจ ืž-50 ืืคื™ื–ื•ื“ื•ืช ื›ืืœื”,
01:17
and I've learned a lot.
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ื•ืœืžื“ืชื™ ื”ืžื•ืŸ.
01:19
I've had a lot of at-bats,
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ื”ื™ื• ืœื™ ื”ืžื•ืŸ ื”ื–ื“ืžื ื•ื™ื•ืช,
01:21
many rounds in the ring with darkness,
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ืกื™ื‘ื•ื‘ื™ื ืจื‘ื™ื ื‘ื–ื™ืจื” ืืคืœื”,
01:23
taking good notes.
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ื•ืจืฉืžืชื™ ืœืขืฆืžื™ ื”ืขืจื•ืช ื˜ื•ื‘ื•ืช.
01:25
So I thought rather than get up and give any type of recipe for success
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ืื– ื—ืฉื‘ืชื™ ืฉื‘ืžืงื•ื ืœื‘ื•ื ื•ืœืชืช ืื™ื–ื” ืžืชื›ื•ืŸ ืœื”ืฆืœื—ื”
01:29
or highlight reel,
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ืื• ืœื”ืฆื™ื’ ืืช ืฉื™ืื™ ื—ื™ื™,
01:30
I would share my recipe for avoiding self-destruction,
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ืืฉืชืฃ ืืชื›ื ื‘ืžืชื›ื•ืŸ ืฉืœื™ ืœื”ื™ืžื ืขื•ืช ืžื”ืจืก ืขืฆืžื™,
01:35
and certainly self-paralysis.
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ื•ืžืฉื™ืชื•ืง ืขืฆืžื™, ื›ืžื•ื‘ืŸ.
01:38
And the tool I've found which has proven to be the most reliable safety net
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ื•ื”ื›ืœื™ ืฉื”ื•ื›ื™ื— ืขืฆืžื• ื›ืจืฉืช ื”ื‘ื˜ื—ื•ืŸ ื”ื˜ื•ื‘ื” ื‘ื™ื•ืชืจ ื‘ืฉื‘ื™ืœื™
01:42
for emotional free fall
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ื‘ืขืช ื”ื™ื“ืจื“ืจื•ืช ืจื’ืฉื™ืช
01:44
is actually the same tool
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ื”ื•ื ื‘ืขืฆื ืื•ืชื• ื”ื›ืœื™
01:46
that has helped me to make my best business decisions.
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ืฉืขื–ืจ ืœื™ ืœืงื‘ืœ ืืช ื”ื—ืœื˜ื•ืชื™ื™ ื”ืขืกืงื™ื•ืช ื”ื˜ื•ื‘ื•ืช ื‘ื™ื•ืชืจ.
01:48
But that is secondary.
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ืื‘ืœ ื–ื” ืขื ื™ื™ืŸ ืžืฉื ื™.
01:50
And it is ... stoicism.
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ื•ื”ื•ื... ื”ืกื˜ื•ืื™ื•ืช,
01:53
That sounds boring.
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ื–ื” ื ืฉืžืข ืžืฉืขืžื.
01:55
(Laughter)
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(ืฆื—ื•ืง)
01:56
You might think of Spock,
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ืืชื ืขืฉื•ื™ื™ื ืœื—ืฉื•ื‘ ืขืœ ืกืคื•ืง,
01:57
or it might conjure and image like this --
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ืื• ืฉื–ื” ื™ื›ื•ืœ ืœื”ื™ื“ืžื•ืช ื›ืžื• ื–ื” -
02:00
(Laughter)
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(ืฆื—ื•ืง)
02:02
a cow standing in the rain.
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ืคืจื” ืขื•ืžื“ืช ื‘ื’ืฉื.
02:04
It's not sad. It's not particularly happy.
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ื–ื” ืœื ืขืฆื•ื‘. ื–ื” ืœื ื‘ืžื™ื•ื—ื“ ืฉืžื—.
02:07
It's just an impassive creature taking whatever life sends its way.
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ื–ื” ืจืง ื™ืฆื•ืจ ืื“ื™ืฉ ืฉืžืงื‘ืœ ืืช ื›ืœ ืžื” ืฉื”ื—ื™ื™ื ืžื–ืžื ื™ื ืœื•.
02:11
You might not think of the ultimate competitor, say, Bill Belichick,
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ืื•ืœื™ ืœื ืชื—ืฉื‘ื• ืขืœ ื”ืžืชื—ืจื” ื”ืื•ืœื˜ื™ืžื˜ื™ื‘ื™, ืœืžืฉืœ, ื‘ื™ืœ ื‘ืœื™ืฆ'ื™ืง,
02:16
head coach of the New England Patriots,
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ื”ืžืืžืŸ ื”ืจืืฉื™ ืฉืœ ื”ื ื™ื• ืื™ื ื’ืœื ื“ ืคื˜ืจื™ื•ื˜ืก,
02:18
who has the all-time NFL record for Super Bowl titles.
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ืฉื ื•ืฉื ื‘ืฉื™ื NFL ืฉืœ ื›ืœ ื”ื–ืžื ื™ื ื‘ืชื•ืืจื™ ืกื•ืคืจ ื‘ื•ืœ.
02:21
And stoicism has spread like wildfire in the top of the NFL ranks
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ื•ืกื˜ื•ืื™ื•ืช ื”ืชืคืฉื˜ื” ื›ืืฉ ื‘ืฉื“ื” ืงื•ืฆื™ื ื‘ืžืขืœื” ื“ืจื’ื•ืช ื”- NFL,
02:26
as a means of mental toughness training in the last few years.
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ื›ืืžืฆืขื™ ืœื”ื›ืฉืจื” ื‘ืงืฉื™ื—ื•ืช ื ืคืฉื™ืช ื‘ืฉื ื™ื ื”ืื—ืจื•ื ื•ืช.
02:30
You might not think of the Founding Fathers --
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ืื•ืœื™ ืœื ืชื—ืฉื‘ื• ืขืœ ื”ืื‘ื•ืช ื”ืžื™ื™ืกื“ื™ื --
02:34
Thomas Jefferson, John Adams, George Washington
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ืชื•ืžืก ื’'ืคืจืกื•ืŸ, ื’'ื•ืŸ ืื“ืžืก, ื’'ื•ืจื’' ื•ื•ืฉื™ื ื’ื˜ื•ืŸ
02:37
to name but three students of stoicism.
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ืื ืœืžื ื•ืช ืจืง ืฉืœื•ืฉื” ืชืœืžื™ื“ื™ื ืฉืœ ื”ืกื˜ื•ืื™ื•ืช.
02:40
George Washington actually had a play about a Stoic --
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ืœื’ 'ื•ืจื’' ื•ื•ืฉื™ื ื’ื˜ื•ืŸ ื”ื™ื” ืœืžืขืฉื” ืžื—ื–ื” ืขืœ ืกื˜ื•ืื™ืงืŸ -
02:44
this was "Cato, a Tragedy" --
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ื–ื” ื”ื™ื” "ืงืื˜ื•, ื˜ืจื’ื“ื™ื”" -
02:46
performed for his troops at Valley Forge to keep them motivated.
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ืฉื‘ื•ืฆืข ืขื‘ื•ืจ ื›ื•ื—ื•ืชื™ื• ื‘ืขืžืง ืคื•ืจื’' ื›ื“ื™ ืœืฉืžื•ืจ ืขืœ ื”ืžื•ื˜ื™ื‘ืฆื™ื” ืฉืœื”ื.
02:50
So why would people of action focus so much on an ancient philosophy?
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ืื– ืœืžื” ืื ืฉื™ ืคืขื•ืœื” ืžืชืžืงื“ื™ื ื›ืœ ื›ืš ืขืœ ืคื™ืœื•ืกื•ืคื™ื” ืขืชื™ืงื”?
02:54
This seems very academic.
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ื–ื” ื ืจืื” ืžืื•ื“ ืืงื“ืžื™.
02:56
I would encourage you to think about stoicism a little bit differently,
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ืื ื™ ืžืฆื™ืข ืœื›ื ืœื—ืฉื•ื‘ ืขืœ ืกื˜ื•ืื™ื•ืช ื‘ืื•ืคืŸ ืžืขื˜ ืฉื•ื ื”,
03:00
as an operating system for thriving in high-stress environments,
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ื›ืขืœ ืžืขืจื›ืช ื”ืคืขืœื” ืœืฉื’ืฉื•ื’ ื‘ืกื‘ื™ื‘ื•ืช ืžืชื— ื’ื‘ื•ื”,
03:03
for making better decisions.
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ืœืฉื ืงื‘ืœืช ื”ื—ืœื˜ื•ืช ื˜ื•ื‘ื•ืช ื™ื•ืชืจ.
03:05
And it all started here,
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ื•ื”ื›ื•ืœ ื”ืชื—ื™ืœ ื›ืืŸ,
03:07
kind of,
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ื‘ืื•ืคืŸ ื›ืœืฉื”ื•.
03:09
on a porch.
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ืขืœ ืื›ืกื“ืจื”.
03:10
So around 300 BC in Athens,
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ืื– ื‘ืกื‘ื™ื‘ื•ืช 300 ืœืคื ื”"ืก ื‘ืืชื•ื ื”,
03:13
someone named Zeno of Citium taught many lectures
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ืžื™ืฉื”ื• ื‘ืฉื ื–ื™ื ื• ืžืกื™ื˜ื™ื•ื ืœื™ืžื“ ืฉื™ืขื•ืจื™ื ืจื‘ื™ื
03:16
walking around a painted porch, a "stoa."
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ื›ืฉื”ื•ื ืžืชื”ืœืš ืกื‘ื™ื‘ ืื›ืกื“ืจื” ืžืฆื•ื™ืจืช -"ืกื˜ื•ืื”"
03:19
That later became "stoicism."
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ืฉืžืื•ื—ืจ ื™ื•ืชืจ ื”ืคื›ื” ืœ"ืกื˜ื•ืื™ื•ืช."
03:22
And in the Greco-Roman world,
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ื•ื‘ืขื•ืœื ื”ื™ื•ื•ื ื™-ืจื•ืžื™,
03:24
people used stoicism as a comprehensive system
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ืื ืฉื™ื ื”ืฉืชืžืฉื• ื‘ืกื˜ื•ืื™ื•ืช ื›ืžืขืจื›ืช ืžืงื™ืคื”
03:27
for doing many, many things.
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ื›ื“ื™ ืœืขืฉื•ืช ื”ืจื‘ื” ื”ืจื‘ื” ื“ื‘ืจื™ื.
03:29
But for our purposes, chief among them was training yourself
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ืื‘ืœ ืœืžื˜ืจื•ืชื™ื ื•, ื”ืจืืฉื™ ื‘ื™ื ื™ื”ื ื”ื™ื” ืœืืžืŸ ืืช ืขืฆืžืš
03:33
to separate what you can control from what you cannot control,
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ืœื”ืคืจื™ื“ ื‘ื™ืŸ ืžื” ืฉืืชื” ื™ื›ื•ืœ ืœืฉืœื•ื˜ ื‘ื• ืžืžื” ืฉืื™ื ืš ื™ื›ื•ืœ ืœืฉืœื•ื˜ ื‘ื•,
03:37
and then doing exercises to focus exclusively
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ื•ืื– ืœืชืจื’ืœ ืœื”ืชืžืงื“ ื‘ืžื™ื•ื—ื“ ื‘ืจืืฉื•ืŸ.
03:40
on the former.
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03:41
This decreases emotional reactivity,
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ื–ื” ืžืคื—ื™ืช ืชื’ื•ื‘ืชื™ื•ืช ืจื’ืฉื™ืช,
03:43
which can be a superpower.
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ืžื” ืฉื™ื›ื•ืœ ืœื”ื™ื•ืช ื›ื•ื—-ื›ืœ.
03:45
Conversely, let's say you're a quarterback.
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ืœืขื•ืžืช ื–ืืช, ื ื ื™ื— ืฉืืชื” ืจืฅ ื‘ืคื•ื˜ื‘ื•ืœ.
03:48
You miss a pass. You get furious with yourself.
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ืืชื” ืžื—ืžื™ืฅ ืžืกื™ืจื”, ืืชื” ื›ื•ืขืก ืขืœ ืขืฆืžืš.
03:51
That could cost you a game.
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ื–ื” ื™ื›ื•ืœ ืœืขืœื•ืช ืœืš ื‘ืžืฉื—ืง.
03:53
If you're a CEO, and you fly off the handle at a very valued employee
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ืื ืืชื” ืžื ื›"ืœ, ื•ืืชื” ื ืชืงืฃ ื‘ื–ืขื ืžื•ื’ื–ื ืขืœ ืขื•ื‘ื“ ืžื•ืขืจืš ืžืื•ื“
03:57
because of a minor infraction,
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ื‘ืฉืœ ื”ืคืจื” ืงื˜ื ื”,
03:58
that could cost you the employee.
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ื•ื–ื” ื™ื›ื•ืœ ืœืขืœื•ืช ืœืš ื‘ืขื•ื‘ื“.
04:01
If you're a college student who, say, is in a downward spiral,
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ืื ืืช ืกื˜ื•ื“ื ื˜ื™ืช ืฉืžืชื“ืจื“ืจืช ืœืžื˜ื”,
04:06
and you feel helpless and hopeless,
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ื•ืืช ืžืจื’ื™ืฉื” ื—ืกืจืช ื™ืฉืข ื•ื—ืกืจืช ืชืงื•ื•ื”,
04:08
unabated, that could cost you your life.
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ืœืœื ื”ืคื•ื’ื”, ื–ื” ื™ื›ื•ืœ ืœืขืœื•ืช ืœืš ื‘ื—ื™ื™ืš.
04:10
So the stakes are very, very high.
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ืื– ื”ื”ื™ืžื•ืจ ืžืื•ื“ ืžืื•ื“ ื’ื‘ื•ื”.
04:14
And there are many tools in the toolkit to get you there.
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ื•ื™ืฉ ื”ืจื‘ื” ื›ืœื™ื ื‘ืืจื’ื– ื”ื›ืœื™ื ืœื”ื‘ื™ื ืื•ืชืš ืœืฉื.
04:17
I'm going to focus on one that completely changed my life in 2004.
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ืืชืžืงื“ ื‘ืื—ื“ ืฉืœื—ืœื•ื˜ื™ืŸ ืฉื™ื ื” ืืช ื—ื™ื™ ื‘-2004.
04:21
It found me then because of two things:
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ื–ื” ืคื’ืฉ ืื•ืชื™ ืื– ื‘ื’ืœืœ ืฉื ื™ ื“ื‘ืจื™ื:
04:24
a very close friend, young guy, my age, died of pancreatic cancer unexpectedly,
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ื—ื‘ืจ ืงืจื•ื‘ ืžืื•ื“, ื‘ื—ื•ืจ ืฆืขื™ืจ ื‘ื’ื™ืœื™, ืžืช ืžืกืจื˜ืŸ ื”ืœื‘ืœื‘ ื‘ืื•ืคืŸ ืคืชืื•ืžื™,
04:29
and then my girlfriend, who I thought I was going to marry, walked out.
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ื•ืื– ื—ื‘ืจื” ืฉืœื™, ืฉื—ืฉื‘ืชื™ ืฉืื ื™ ืขื•ืžื“ ืœืฉืืช ืœืืฉื”, ืขื–ื‘ื”.
04:33
She'd had enough, and she didn't give me a Dear John letter,
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ื ืžืืก ืœื” ืžืžื ื™, ื•ื”ื™ื ืœื ื”ืฉืื™ืจื” ืืช "ืžื›ืชื‘ ื’'ื•ืŸ ื”ื™ืงืจ."
04:37
but she did give me this,
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ืื‘ืœ ื”ื™ื ื ืชื ื” ืœื™ ืืช ื–ื”,
04:40
a Dear John plaque.
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ืœื•ื—ื™ืช ื’'ื•ืŸ ื”ื™ืงืจ.
04:41
(Laughter)
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(ืฆื—ื•ืง)
04:42
I'm not making this up. I've kept it.
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ืื ื™ ืœื ืžืžืฆื™ื ืืช ื–ื”, ืฉืžืจืชื™ ืืช ื–ื”.
04:44
"Business hours are over at five o'clock."
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"ืฉืขื•ืช ื”ืขื‘ื•ื“ื” ืžืกืชื™ื™ืžื•ืช ื‘ืฉืขื” ื—ืžืฉ."
04:47
She gave this to me to put on my desk for personal health,
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ื”ื™ื ื ืชื ื” ืœื™ ืืช ื–ื” ื›ื“ื™ ืฉืืฉื™ื ืขืœ ื”ืฉื•ืœื—ืŸ ืœืžืขืŸ ื‘ืจื™ืื•ืชื™ ื”ืื™ืฉื™ืช,
04:49
because at the time, I was working on my first real business.
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ื›ื™ ืื– ืขื‘ื“ืชื™ ืขืœ ื”ืขืกืง ื”ืืžื™ืชื™ ื”ืจืืฉื•ืŸ ืฉืœื™.
04:53
I had no idea what I was doing. I was working 14-plus hour days,
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ืœื ื”ื™ื” ืœื™ ืžื•ืฉื’ ืžื” ืื ื™ ืขื•ืฉื”. ืขื‘ื“ืชื™ ืžืขืœ 14 ืฉืขื•ืช ื‘ื™ื•ื,
04:56
seven days a week.
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ืฉื‘ืขื” ื™ืžื™ื ื‘ืฉื‘ื•ืข.
04:58
I was using stimulants to get going.
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ื ืขื–ืจืชื™ ื‘ืžืžืจื™ืฆื™ื ื›ื“ื™ ืœื”ืžืฉื™ืš.
05:00
I was using depressants to wind down and go to sleep.
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ื•ื‘ื ื•ื’ื“ื™ ื“ื™ื›ืื•ืŸ ื›ื“ื™ ืœื”ื™ืจื’ืข ื•ืœื™ืฉื•ืŸ.
05:03
It was a disaster.
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ื–ื” ื”ื™ื” ืืกื•ืŸ.
05:04
I felt completely trapped.
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ื”ืจื’ืฉืชื™ ืœื’ืžืจื™ ืœื›ื•ื“.
05:06
I bought a book on simplicity to try to find answers.
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ื•ืงื ื™ืชื™ ืกืคืจ ืขืœ ืคืฉื˜ื•ืช ื›ื“ื™ ืœืžืฆื•ื ืชืฉื•ื‘ื•ืช.
05:10
And I did find a quote that made a big difference in my life,
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ื•ืžืฆืืชื™ ืฆื™ื˜ื•ื˜ ืฉืขืฉื” ื”ื‘ื“ืœ ื’ื“ื•ืœ ื‘ื—ื™ื™,
05:14
which was, "We suffer more often in imagination than in reality,"
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ืฉื”ื™ื”, "ืื ื—ื ื• ืกื•ื‘ืœื™ื ืœืขืชื™ื ืงืจื•ื‘ื•ืช ื™ื•ืชืจ ื‘ื“ืžื™ื•ืŸ ืžืืฉืจ ื‘ืžืฆื™ืื•ืช."
05:19
by Seneca the Younger,
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ืฉืœ ืกื ืงื” ื”ืฆืขื™ืจ,
05:21
who was a famous Stoic writer.
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ืฉื”ื™ื” ืกื•ืคืจ ืกื˜ื•ืื™ ืžืคื•ืจืกื.
05:23
That took me to his letters,
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ื–ื” ื”ื•ื‘ื™ืœ ืื•ืชื™ ืœืžื›ืชื‘ื™ื ืฉืœื•,
05:24
which took me to the exercise,
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ืฉื”ื•ื‘ื™ืœื• ืื•ืชื™ ืœ"ื”ืชืจื’ื™ืœ",
05:27
"premeditatio malorum,"
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"ืคืจืžื“ื™ื˜ื˜ื™ื• ืžืืœื•ืจื•ื"
05:29
which means the pre-meditation of evils.
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ืฉืžืฉืžืขื•, ื”ืชื›ื•ื•ื ื•ืช ืžืจืืฉ ืœื“ื‘ืจื™ื ืจืขื™ื,
05:32
In simple terms,
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ื‘ืžื™ืœื™ื ืคืฉื•ื˜ื•ืช,
05:33
this is visualizing the worst-case scenarios, in detail, that you fear,
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ื–ื” ืœื“ืžื™ื™ืŸ ื‘ืคืจื•ื˜ืจื•ื˜ ืืช ื”ืชืจื—ื™ืฉื™ื ื”ื’ืจื•ืขื™ื ื‘ื™ื•ืชืจ ืฉืžื”ื ื—ื•ืฉืฉื™ื,
05:38
preventing you from taking action,
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ื•ืฉืžื•ื ืขื™ื ืžื›ื ืœื ืงื•ื˜ ืคืขื•ืœื”,
05:40
so that you can take action to overcome that paralysis.
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ื›ืš ืฉืชื•ื›ืœื• ืœื ืงื•ื˜ ืคืขื•ืœื” ื•ืœื”ืชื’ื‘ืจ ืขืœ ื”ืฉื™ืชื•ืง.
05:43
My problem was monkey mind -- super loud, very incessant.
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ื”ื‘ืขื™ื” ืฉืœื™ ื”ื™ืชื” ืžื™ื™ื ื“ ืชื–ื–ื™ืชื™ ืžืื•ื“, ื‘ืœืชื™ ืคื•ืกืง.
05:46
Just thinking my way through problems doesn't work.
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ืจืง ืœื—ืฉื•ื‘ ืขืœ ื”ื“ืจืš ืฉืœื™ ื‘ืืžืฆืขื•ืช ื‘ืขื™ื•ืช ื–ื” ืœื ืขื•ื‘ื“.
05:49
I needed to capture my thoughts on paper.
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ื”ื™ื™ืชื™ ืฆืจื™ืš ืœืœื›ื•ื“ ืืช ืžื—ืฉื‘ื•ืชื™ ืขืœ ื”ื ื™ื™ืจ.
05:51
So I created a written exercise
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ืื– ื”ื›ื ืชื™ ืœืขืฆืžื™ ืชืจื’ื™ืœ ื‘ื›ืชื‘
05:53
that I called "fear-setting," like goal-setting,
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ืฉืงืจืืชื™ ืœื• "ื”ืฆื‘ืช ืคื—ื“ื™ื", ืขืœ ืžืฉืงืœ "ื”ืฆื‘ืช ื™ืขื“ื™ื".
05:55
for myself.
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05:57
It consists of three pages.
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ื•ื”ื•ื ืžื•ืจื›ื‘ ืžืฉืœื•ืฉื” ื“ืคื™ื.
05:59
Super simple.
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ืกื•ืคืจ ืคืฉื•ื˜ื™ื.
06:01
The first page is right here.
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ื”ื“ืฃ ื”ืจืืฉื•ืŸ ื ืžืฆื ื›ืืŸ.
06:03
"What if I ...?"
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"ืžื” ืื ืื ื™ ...?"
06:05
This is whatever you fear,
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ื–ื” ื›ืœ ื“ื‘ืจ ืฉืžืžื ื• ืืชื ืคื•ื—ื“ื™ื.
06:07
whatever is causing you anxiety,
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ืžื” ืฉืžืขื•ืจืจ ื‘ื›ื ื—ืจื“ื”,
06:09
whatever you're putting off.
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ื›ืœ ืžื” ืฉืืชื ื“ื•ื—ื™ื.
06:10
It could be asking someone out,
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ื–ื• ื™ื›ื•ืœื” ืœื”ื™ื•ืช ื”ื–ืžื ื” ืœื™ืฆื™ืื”,
06:12
ending a relationship,
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ืœืกื™ื™ื ืžืขืจื›ืช ื™ื—ืกื™ื,
06:14
asking for a promotion, quitting a job, starting a company.
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ืœื‘ืงืฉ ืงื™ื“ื•ื, ืœืขื–ื•ื‘ ืžืฉืจื”, ืœื”ืงื™ื ื—ื‘ืจื”.
06:17
It could be anything.
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ื–ื” ื™ื›ื•ืœ ืœื”ื™ื•ืช ื›ืœ ื“ื‘ืจ.
06:18
For me, it was taking my first vacation in four years
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ื‘ืฉื‘ื™ืœื™ ื–ื” ื”ื™ื” ืœืฆืืช ืœื—ื•ืคืฉื” ื”ืจืืฉื•ื ื” ืžื–ื” ืืจื‘ืข ืฉื ื™ื
06:21
and stepping away from my business for a month to go to London,
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ื•ืœื”ืชืจื—ืง ืžื”ืขืกืง ืฉืœื™ ืœืžืฉืš ื—ื•ื“ืฉ ื•ืœื ืกื•ืข ืœืœื•ื ื“ื•ืŸ,
06:24
where I could stay in a friend's room for free,
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ืฉื ื™ื›ื•ืœืชื™ ืœื’ื•ืจ ืขื ื—ื‘ืจ ื‘ื—ื™ื ื,
06:27
to either remove myself as a bottleneck in the business
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ื›ื“ื™ ืœื”ืกื™ืจ ืืช ืขืฆืžื™ ืžืœื”ื™ื•ืช ืฆื•ื•ืืจ ื‘ืงื‘ื•ืง ื‘ืขืกืง,
06:30
or shut it down.
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ืื• ืœืกื’ื•ืจ ืื•ืชื•.
06:32
In the first column, "Define,"
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ื‘ืขืžื•ื“ื” ื”ืจืืฉื•ื ื” "ื”ื’ื“ืจ"
06:34
you're writing down all of the worst things you can imagine happening
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ืชื›ืชื‘ื• ืืช ื›ืœ ื”ื“ื‘ืจื™ื ื”ื’ืจื•ืขื™ื ื‘ื™ื•ืชืจ ืฉืชื•ื›ืœื• ืœื“ืžื™ื™ืŸ.
06:37
if you take that step.
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ืื ืชืขืฉื• ืืช ื”ืฆืขื“ ื”ื–ื”.
06:39
You want 10 to 20.
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ืชืฉืืคื• ืœ 10 ืขื“ 20 ื“ื‘ืจื™ื.
06:41
I won't go through all of them, but I'll give you two examples.
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ืœื ืืขื‘ื•ืจ ืขืœ ื›ื•ืœื, ืื‘ืœ ืืชืŸ ืฉืชื™ ื“ื•ื’ืžืื•ืช.
06:44
One was, I'll go to London, it'll be rainy, I'll get depressed,
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ืื—ืช ืžื”ืŸ ื”ื™ืชื”, ืืกืข ืœืœื•ื ื“ื•ืŸ, ื™ื”ื™ื” ื’ืฉื•ื, ืื ื™ ืื”ื™ื” ืžื“ื•ื›ื,
06:47
the whole thing will be a huge waste of time.
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ื›ืœ ื”ืขื ื™ื™ืŸ ื™ื”ื™ื” ื‘ื–ื‘ื•ื– ื–ืžืŸ ืขืฆื•ื.
06:50
Number two, I'll miss a letter from the IRS,
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ืžืกืคืจ ืฉืชื™ื™ื, ืื ื™ ืื—ืžื™ืฅ ืžื›ืชื‘ ืžืžืก ื”ื›ื ืกื”,
06:52
and I'll get audited
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ื•ื™ืขืจื›ื• ืœื™ ื‘ื™ืงื•ืจืช. ืื• ืฉื™ืคืฉื˜ื• ืขืœื™,
06:54
or raided or shut down or some such.
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ืื• ืฉื™ืกื’ืจื•, ืื• ืžืฉื”ื• ื›ื–ื”.
06:57
And then you go to the "Prevent" column.
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ื•ืื– ืืชื ืคื•ื ื™ื ืœืขืžื•ื“ืช "ืžื ื™ืขื”",
06:59
In that column, you write down the answer to:
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ื‘ืขืžื•ื“ื” ื”ื–ื• ืืชื ื›ื•ืชื‘ื™ื ืืช ื”ืชืฉื•ื‘ื” ืœืฉืืœื”:
07:01
What could I do to prevent each of these bullets from happening,
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ืžื” ืื•ื›ืœ ืœืขืฉื•ืช ื›ื“ื™ ืœืžื ื•ืข ืžื”ืžื›ื•ืช ื”ืืœื” ืœืงืจื•ืช,
07:04
or, at the very least, decrease the likelihood even a little bit?
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ืื• ืœื”ืคื—ื™ืช ืืช ื”ืกื‘ื™ืจื•ืช ืืคื™ืœื• ื‘ืžืขื˜?
07:08
So for getting depressed in London,
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ืื– ื‘ืขื ื™ืŸ ื ืคื™ืœื” ืœื“ื™ื›ืื•ืŸ ื‘ืœื•ื ื“ื•ืŸ,
07:11
I could take a portable blue light with me
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ื™ื›ื•ืœืชื™ ืœืงื—ืช ืืชื™ ืžื ื•ืจื” ื›ื—ื•ืœื” ื ื™ื™ื“ืช,
07:13
and use it for 15 minutes in the morning.
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ื•ืœื”ืฉืชืžืฉ ื‘ื” ื‘ืžืฉืš 15 ื“ืงื•ืช ื‘ื‘ื•ืงืจ.
07:15
I knew that helped stave off depressive episodes.
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ื™ื“ืขืชื™ ืฉื–ื” ืขื–ืจ ืœื”ื“ื•ืฃ ืืคื™ื–ื•ื“ื•ืช ื“ื™ื›ืื•ื ื™ื•ืช.
07:17
For the IRS bit, I could change the mailing address on file with the IRS
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ื‘ืงื˜ืข ืฉืœ ืžืก ื”ื›ื ืกื”, ื™ื›ื•ืœืชื™ ืœืฉื ื•ืช ื›ืชื•ื‘ืช ืœืžืฉืœื•ื— ื‘ืชื™ืง,
07:21
so the paperwork would go to my accountant
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ื›ืš ืฉื”ื ื™ื™ืจืช ืชื™ืฉืœื— ืœืจื•ืื” ื”ื—ืฉื‘ื•ืŸ ืฉืœื™
07:23
instead of to my UPS address.
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ื‘ืžืงื•ื ืœื›ืชื•ื‘ืช ื”-ื™ื•-ืคื™-ืืก ืฉืœื™.
07:25
Easy-peasy.
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ืงืœื™ ืงืœื•ืช.
07:27
Then we go to "Repair."
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ื•ืื– ืžื’ื™ืขื™ื ืœ-"ืชื™ืงื•ืŸ".
07:30
So if the worst-case scenarios happen,
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ืื– ืื ื”ืชืจื—ื™ืฉื™ื ื”ื’ืจื•ืขื™ื ื‘ื™ื•ืชืจ ืงื•ืจื™ื,
07:32
what could you do to repair the damage even a little bit,
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ืžื” ืชื•ื›ืœื• ืœืขืฉื•ืช ื›ื“ื™ ืœืชืงืŸ ืืช ื”ื ื–ืง ืืคื™ืœื• ื‘ืžืขื˜,
07:35
or who could you ask for help?
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ืื• ืžืžื™ ืชื•ื›ืœื• ืœื‘ืงืฉ ืขื–ืจื”?
07:38
So in the first case, London,
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ืื– ื”ืžืงืจื” ื”ืจืืฉื•ืŸ, ืœื•ื ื“ื•ืŸ,
07:39
well, I could fork over some money, fly to Spain, get some sun --
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ืื•ื›ืœ ืœืฉืœื ื›ืกืฃ, ืœื˜ื•ืก ืœืกืคืจื“, ืœืชืคื•ืก ืฉืžืฉ,
07:43
undo the damage, if I got into a funk.
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ืœืชืงืŸ ืืช ื”ื ื–ืง ืื ื ืคืœืชื™ ืœื“ื›ื“ื•ืš.
07:46
In the case of missing a letter from the IRS,
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ื‘ืžืงืจื” ืฉืœ ื”ื—ืžืฆืช ื”ืžื›ืชื‘ ืžืžืก ื”ื›ื ืกื”,
07:48
I could call a friend who is a lawyer
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ืื•ื›ืœ ืœื”ืชืงืฉืจ ืœื—ื‘ืจ ืฉื”ื•ื ืขื•ืจืš ื“ื™ืŸ
07:51
or ask, say, a professor of law
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ืื• ืœืฉืื•ืœ, ืœืžืฉืœ, ืคืจื•ืคืกื•ืจ ืœืžืฉืคื˜ื™ื
07:54
what they would recommend,
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ืžื” ื”ื ืžืžืœื™ืฆื™ื ืœืขืฉื•ืช,
07:55
who I should talk to, how had people handled this in the past.
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ืขื ืžื™ ืขืœื™ ืœื“ื‘ืจ, ืื™ืš ืื ืฉื™ื ื˜ื™ืคืœื• ื‘ื–ื” ื‘ืขื‘ืจ.
07:59
So one question to keep in mind as you're doing this first page is:
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ืื– ื”ืฉืืœื” ืฉื™ืฉ ืœื—ืฉื•ื‘ ืขืœื™ื” ื›ืฉื›ื•ืชื‘ื™ื ืืช ื”ื“ืฃ ื”ืจืืฉื•ืŸ ื”ื™ื:
08:03
Has anyone else in the history of time
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ื”ืื ื™ืฉ ืขื•ื“ ืžื™ืฉื”ื• ื‘ื”ื™ืกื˜ื•ืจื™ื” ืฉืœ ื”ื–ืžืŸ
08:05
less intelligent or less driven
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ืคื—ื•ืช ืื™ื ื˜ืœื™ื’ื ื˜ื™ ืื• ืคื—ื•ืช ื‘ืขืœ ืžื•ื˜ื™ื‘ืฆื™ื”
08:07
figured this out?
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ืฉื”ื‘ื™ืŸ ืืช ื–ื”?
08:09
Chances are, the answer is "Yes."
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ืจื•ื‘ ื”ืกื™ื›ื•ื™ื™ื ืฉื”ืชืฉื•ื‘ื” ื”ื™ื "ื›ืŸ".
08:11
(Laughter)
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(ืฆื—ื•ืง)
08:12
The second page is simple:
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ื”ื“ืฃ ื”ืฉื ื™ ื”ื•ื ืคืฉื•ื˜:
08:16
What might be the benefits of an attempt or a partial success?
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ืžื” ื™ื›ื•ืœื™ื ืœื”ื™ื•ืช ื”ื™ืชืจื•ื ื•ืช ืฉืœ ื ื™ืกื™ื•ืŸ ืื• ื”ืฆืœื—ื” ื—ืœืงื™ืช?
08:19
You can see we're playing up the fears
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ืืคืฉืจ ืœืจืื•ืช ืฉืื ื—ื ื• ืžืขืœื™ื ืืช ืžืฉืงืœ ื”ืคื—ื“ื™ื
08:21
and really taking a conservative look at the upside.
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ื•ื‘ื•ื—ื ื™ื ื‘ืื•ืคืŸ ืฉืžืจื ื™ ืืช ื”ื™ืชืจื•ื ื•ืช.
08:24
So if you attempted whatever you're considering,
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ืื– ืื ื ื™ืกื™ืชื ืžืฉื”ื• ืฉืืชื ืฉื•ืงืœื™ื,
08:27
might you build confidence, develop skills,
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ืฉื™ื›ื•ืœ ืœื‘ื ื•ืช ื‘ื™ื˜ื—ื•ืŸ, ืœืคืชื— ื™ื›ื•ืœื•ืช.
08:29
emotionally, financially, otherwise?
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ืจื’ืฉื™ื•ืช, ื›ืœื›ืœื™ื•ืช, ืื—ืจื•ืช?
08:32
What might be the benefits of, say, a base hit?
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ืžื” ืขืฉื•ื™ื™ื ืœื”ื™ื•ืช ื”ื™ืชืจื•ื ื•ืช ืฉืœ ื”ืฆืœื—ื”?
08:34
Spend 10 to 15 minutes on this.
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ื—ืฉื‘ื• ืขืœ ื–ื” 10 ืขื“ 15 ื“ืงื•ืช.
08:37
Page three.
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ื“ืฃ ืฉืœื•ืฉ.
08:38
This might be the most important, so don't skip it:
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ื”ื•ื ืื•ืœื™ ื”ื›ื™ ื—ืฉื•ื‘, ืื– ืืœ ืชื“ืœื’ื• ืขืœื™ื•:
08:41
"The Cost of Inaction."
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"ื”ืžื—ื™ืจ ืฉืœ ื—ื•ืกืจ ืคืขื•ืœื”".
08:42
Humans are very good at considering what might go wrong
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ื‘ื ื™ ืื“ื ื˜ื•ื‘ื™ื ืžืื•ื“ ื‘ื—ืฉื™ื‘ื” ืขืœ ืžื” ืฉืขืœื•ืœ ืœื”ืฉืชื‘ืฉ
08:45
if we try something new, say, ask for a raise.
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ืื ืžื ืกื™ื ืžืฉื”ื• ื—ื“ืฉ, ืœืžืฉืœ, ืœื‘ืงืฉ ื”ืขืœืื” ื‘ืฉื›ืจ.
08:48
What we don't often consider is the atrocious cost of the status quo --
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ืื ื—ื ื• ืœื ื—ื•ืฉื‘ื™ื ื‘ื“ืจืš ื›ืœืœ ืขืœ ื”ืขืœื•ืช ื”ื ื•ืจืื™ืช ืฉืœ ื”ืกื˜ื˜ื•ืก ืงื•ื• --
08:54
not changing anything.
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ื•ืœื ืžืฉื ื™ื ื›ืœื•ื.
08:56
So you should ask yourself,
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ืื– ืชืฉืืœื• ืืช ืขืฆืžื›ื,
08:58
if I avoid this action or decision
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ืื ืื ื™ ื ืžื ืข ืžื”ืคืขื•ืœื” ืื• ืžื”ื”ื—ืœื˜ื” ื”ื–ื•,
09:02
and actions and decisions like it,
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ื•ืคืขื•ืœื•ืช ื•ื”ื—ืœื˜ื•ืช ื›ืืœื”,
09:05
what might my life look like in, say, six months, 12 months, three years?
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ืื™ืš ื™ื™ืจืื• ื”ื—ื™ื™ื ืฉืœื™, ื‘ืขื•ื“ ื ื’ื™ื“ 6 ื—ื•ื“ืฉื™ื, 12 ื—ื•ื“ืฉื™ื, 3 ืฉื ื™ื?
09:10
Any further out, it starts to seem intangible.
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ืงืฉื” ืœื“ืžื™ื™ืŸ ืคืจืงื™ ื–ืžื ื™ื ืืจื•ื›ื™ื ื™ื•ืชืจ.
09:12
And really get detailed -- again, emotionally, financially,
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ื•ื‘ืืžืช ื ื›ื ืกื™ื ืœืคืจื˜ื™ื -- ืฉื•ื‘, ืจื’ืฉื™ืช, ื›ืœื›ืœื™ืช,
09:16
physically, whatever.
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ืคื™ื–ื™ืช, ืžื” ืฉืœื ื™ื”ื™ื”.
09:18
And when I did this, it painted a terrifying picture.
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ื•ื›ืฉืขืฉื™ืชื™ ื–ืืช, ื”ืฆื˜ื™ื™ืจื” ืชืžื•ื ื” ืžืคื—ื™ื“ื”.
09:21
I was self-medicating,
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ื˜ื™ืคืœืชื™ ื‘ืขืฆืžื™ ื‘ืชืจื•ืคื•ืช.
09:23
my business was going to implode at any moment at all times,
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ื”ืขืกืง ืฉืœื™ ืขืžื“ ืœืงืจื•ืก ื‘ื›ืœ ืจื’ืข,
09:27
if I didn't step away.
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ืื ืœื ื”ื™ื™ืชื™ ืžืชืจื—ืง,
09:28
My relationships were fraying or failing.
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ืžืขืจื›ื•ืช ื”ื™ื—ืกื™ื ืฉืœื™ ื”ื™ื• ืžืชืคื•ืจืจื•ืช ืื• ื ื›ืฉืœื•ืช.
09:30
And I realized that inaction was no longer an option for me.
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ื•ื”ื‘ื ืชื™ ืฉื—ื•ืกืจ ื”ืžืขืฉ ื”ื–ื” ืœื ื”ื™ื” ืื•ืคืฆื™ื” ื‘ืฉื‘ื™ืœื™.
09:35
Those are the three pages. That's it. That's fear-setting.
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ืืœื” ื”ื ืฉืœื•ืฉืช ื”ื“ืคื™ื. ื–ื”ื• ื–ื”. ื–ื•ื”ื™ ื”ืฆื‘ืช-ืคื—ื“ื™ื.
09:38
And after this, I realized that on a scale of one to 10,
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ื•ืื—ืจื™ ื–ื”, ื”ื‘ื ืชื™ ืฉื‘ืกื•ืœื ืฉืœ ืื—ื“ ืขื“ 10,
09:42
one being minimal impact, 10 being maximal impact,
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1 ื”ื•ื ื”ืฉืคืขื” ืžื™ื ื™ืžืœื™ืช, 10 ื”ื•ื ื”ืฉืคืขื” ืžืงืกื™ืžืœื™ืช,
09:45
if I took the trip, I was risking
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ืœื• ื™ืฆืืชื™ ืœื ืกื™ืขื”, ื”ื™ื™ืชื™ ืžืกื›ืŸ
09:47
a one to three of temporary and reversible pain
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1 - 3 ืฉืœ ื›ืื‘ ื–ืžื ื™ ื•ื”ืคื™ืš
09:50
for an eight to 10 of positive, life-changing impact
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ืขื‘ื•ืจ 8 - 10 ืฉืœ ื”ืฉืคืขื” ื—ื™ื•ื‘ื™ืช ื•ืžืฉื ื” ื—ื™ื™ื,
09:55
that could be a semi-permanent.
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ืฉื™ื›ืœื” ืœื”ื™ื•ืช ื“ื™ ืงื‘ื•ืขื”.
09:57
So I took the trip.
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ืื– ื™ืฆืืชื™ ืœื ืกื™ืขื”.
09:59
None of the disasters came to pass.
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ืืฃ ืื—ื“ ืžื”ืืกื•ื ื•ืช ืœื ืื™ืจืข.
10:00
There were some hiccups, sure.
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ื”ื™ื• ื›ืžื” ืฉื™ื”ื•ืงื™ื, ื›ืžื•ื‘ืŸ.
10:02
I was able to extricate myself from the business.
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ื”ืฆืœื—ืชื™ ืœื—ืœืฅ ืืช ืขืฆืžื™ ืžื”ืขืกืง.
10:04
I ended up extending that trip for a year and a half around the world,
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ื‘ืกื•ืคื• ืฉืœ ื“ื‘ืจ ื”ืืจื›ืชื™ ืืช ื”ื˜ื™ื•ืœ ืœืฉื ื” ื•ื—ืฆื™ ื‘ืจื—ื‘ื™ ื”ืขื•ืœื,
10:08
and that became the basis for my first book,
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ื•ื–ื” ื”ืคืš ืœื”ื™ื•ืช ื”ื‘ืกื™ืก ืฉืœ ื”ืกืคืจ ื”ืจืืฉื•ืŸ ืฉืœื™,
10:11
that leads me here today.
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ืฉืžื•ื‘ื™ืœ ืื•ืชื™ ืœื›ืืŸ ื”ื™ื•ื.
10:12
And I can trace all of my biggest wins
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ื•ืื ื™ ื™ื›ื•ืœ ืœื™ื™ื—ืก ืืช ื›ืœ ื ื™ืฆื—ื•ื ื•ืชื™ ื”ื’ื“ื•ืœื™ื
10:15
and all of my biggest disasters averted
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ื•ื›ืœ ื”ืืกื•ื ื•ืช ืฉื ืžื ืขื•
10:18
back to doing fear-setting
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ืœื‘ื™ืฆื•ืข ื”ืฆื‘ืช ืคื—ื“ื™ื
10:20
at least once a quarter.
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ืœืคื—ื•ืช ืคืขื ื‘ืจื‘ืขื•ืŸ.
10:23
It's not a panacea.
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ื–ื• ืื™ื ื” ืชืจื•ืคืช ืคืœื.
10:24
You'll find that some of your fears are very well-founded.
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ืชื’ืœื• ืฉื—ืœืง ืžื”ืคื—ื“ื™ื ืฉืœื›ื ืžื‘ื•ืกืกื™ื ืžืื•ื“
10:27
(Laughter)
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(ืฆื—ื•ืง)
10:28
But you shouldn't conclude that
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ืื‘ืœ ืืœ ืชื’ื™ืขื• ืœืžืกืงื ื” ื”ื–ื•
10:29
without first putting them under a microscope.
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ืœืคื ื™ ืฉืชื‘ื—ื ื• ืื•ืชื ืชื—ืช ืžื™ืงืจื•ืกืงื•ืค.
10:33
And it doesn't make all the hard times, the hard choices, easy,
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ื•ื–ื” ืœื ื”ื•ืคืš ืืช ื›ืœ ื”ื–ืžื ื™ื ื”ืงืฉื™ื ื•ื”ื‘ื—ื™ืจื•ืช ื”ืงืฉื•ืช ืœืงืœื•ืช,
10:36
but it can make a lot of them easier.
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ืื‘ืœ ื–ื” ื™ื›ื•ืœ ืœื”ืงืœ ืขืœ ืจื‘ื™ื ืžื”ื.
10:39
I'd like to close with a profile of one of my favorite modern-day Stoics.
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ืืกื™ื™ื ืขื ืกื˜ื•ืื™ืงื ื™ ืžื•ื“ืจื ื™ ืฉืื”ื•ื‘ ืขืœื™
10:43
This is Jerzy Gregorek.
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ื–ื”ื• ื™ืจื–'ื™ ื’ืจื’ื•ืจืง.
10:46
He is a four-time world champion in Olympic weightlifting,
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4 ืคืขืžื™ื ืืœื•ืฃ ื”ืขื•ืœื ื‘ื”ืจืžืช ืžืฉืงื•ืœื•ืช,
10:50
political refugee,
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ืคืœื™ื˜ ืคื•ืœื™ื˜ื™,
10:51
published poet,
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ืžืฉื•ืจืจ ืฉืคื•ืจืกื,
10:53
62 years old.
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ื‘ืŸ 62.
10:54
He can still kick my ass and probably most asses in this room.
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ืฉืขื“ื™ื™ืŸ ื™ื›ื•ืœ ืœื‘ืขื•ื˜ ื‘ื™ ื•ื‘ืจื•ื‘ื›ื.
10:59
He's an impressive guy.
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ื”ื•ื ื‘ื—ื•ืจ ืžืจืฉื™ื.
11:00
I spent a lot of time on his stoa, his porch,
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ื‘ื™ืœื™ืชื™ ื–ืžืŸ ืจื‘ ืขืœ ืžืจืคืกืชื•,
11:02
asking life and training advice.
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ื‘ื‘ืงืฉืช ืขืฆื•ืช ืœื—ื™ื™ื ื•ืœืื™ืžื•ืŸ.
11:05
He was part of the Solidarity in Poland,
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ื”ื•ื ื”ื™ื” ื—ืœืง ืžืืจื’ื•ืŸ ืกื•ืœื™ื“ืจื™ื˜ื™ ื‘ืคื•ืœื™ืŸ,
11:09
which was a nonviolent movement for social change
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ืฉื”ื™ื” ืชื ื•ืขื” ืœื ืืœื™ืžื” ืœืฉื™ื ื•ื™ ื—ื‘ืจืชื™
11:11
that was violently suppressed by the government.
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ืฉื“ื•ื›ืื” ื‘ืืœื™ืžื•ืช ืขืœ ื™ื“ื™ ื”ืžืžืฉืœื”.
11:14
He lost his career as a firefighter.
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ื”ื•ื ืื™ื‘ื“ ืืช ื”ืงืจื™ื™ืจื” ืฉืœื• ื›ื›ื‘ืื™.
11:16
Then his mentor, a priest, was kidnapped, tortured, killed
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ื•ืื– ื”ืžืืžืŸ ืฉืœื•, ื›ื•ืžืจ, ื ื—ื˜ืฃ, ืขื•ื ื”, ื ื”ืจื’
11:19
and thrown into a river.
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ื•ื”ื•ืฉืœืš ืœื ื”ืจ.
11:21
He was then threatened.
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ืœืื—ืจ ืžื›ืŸ ืื™ื™ืžื• ืขืœื™ื•.
11:22
He and his wife had to flee Poland, bounce from country to country
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ื”ื•ื ื•ืืฉืชื• ื‘ืจื—ื• ืžืคื•ืœื™ืŸ, ื•ื ืกื• ืžืžื“ื™ื ื” ืœืžื“ื™ื ื”
11:25
until they landed in the US with next to nothing,
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ืขื“ ืฉื ื—ืชื• ื‘ืืจื”"ื‘ ื›ืžืขื˜ ื‘ื—ื•ืกืจ ื›ืœ,
11:28
sleeping on floors.
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ื™ืฉื ื™ื ืขืœ ืจืฆืคื•ืช.
11:30
He now lives in Woodside, California, in a very nice place,
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ื›ื™ื•ื ื”ื•ื ืžืชื’ื•ืจืจ ื‘ื•ื•ื“ืกื™ื™ื“, ืงืœื™ืคื•ืจื ื™ื”,
11:34
and of the 10,000-plus people I've met in my life,
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ื‘ืžืงื•ื ื ื—ืžื“ ืžืื•ื“, ื•ืž-10,000 ื”ืื ืฉื™ื ืฉืคื’ืฉืชื™ ื‘ื—ื™ื™,
11:36
I would put him in the top 10,
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ื”ื™ื™ืชื™ ืžืฆื™ื‘ ืื•ืชื• ื‘ืขืฉื™ืจื™ื” ื”ืจืืฉื•ื ื”
11:39
in terms of success and happiness.
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ื‘ืžื•ื ื—ื™ื ืฉืœ ื”ืฆืœื—ื” ื•ืื•ืฉืจ.
11:42
And there's a punchline coming, so pay attention.
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ื•ื™ืฉ ื›ืืŸ ืฉื•ืจืช ืžื—ืฅ, ืื– ืฉื™ืžื• ืœื‘.
11:44
I sent him a text a few weeks ago,
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ืฉืœื—ืชื™ ืœื• ื˜ืงืกื˜ ืœืคื ื™ ื›ืžื” ืฉื‘ื•ืขื•ืช,
11:46
asking him: Had he ever read any Stoic philosophy?
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ื•ืฉืืœืชื™ ืื ืงืจื ืื™-ืคืขื ืคื™ืœื•ืกื•ืคื™ื” ืกื˜ื•ืื™ืช?
11:49
And he replied with two pages of text.
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ื•ื”ื•ื ื”ืฉื™ื‘ ื‘ืฉื ื™ ืขืžื•ื“ื™ ื˜ืงืกื˜.
11:51
This is very unlike him. He is a terse dude.
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ื•ื–ื” ืžืื•ื“ ืœื ืื•ืคื™ื™ื ื™ ืœื•. ื”ื•ื ืžืžืขื˜ ื‘ืžื™ืœื™ื.
11:54
(Laughter)
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(ืฆื—ื•ืง)
11:55
And not only was he familiar with stoicism,
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ื•ืœื ืจืง ืฉื”ื›ื™ืจ ืืช ื”ืกื˜ื•ืื™ื•ืช,
11:58
but he pointed out, for all of his most important decisions,
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ืืœื ืฉื”ื•ื ืฆื™ื™ืŸ ืขื‘ื•ืจ ื›ืœ ื”ื—ืœื˜ื•ืชื™ื• ื”ื—ืฉื•ื‘ื•ืช ื‘ื™ื•ืชืจ,
12:02
his inflection points,
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ืืช ื ืงื•ื“ื•ืช ื”ื”ื˜ื™ื” ืฉืœื•,
12:03
when he stood up for his principles and ethics,
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ื›ืฉืขืžื“ ืขืœ ืขืงืจื•ื ื•ืชื™ื• ื•ื”ืืชื™ืงื” ืฉืœื•,
12:07
how he had used stoicism and something akin to fear-setting,
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ื›ื™ืฆื“ ื”ืฉืชืžืฉ ื‘ืกื˜ื•ืื™ื•ืช ื•ื‘ืžืฉื”ื• ืฉื“ื•ืžื” ืœื”ืฆื‘ืช ืคื—ื“ื™ื.
12:11
which blew my mind.
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ืžื” ืฉื”ืขื™ืฃ ืœื™ ืืช ื”ืžื•ื—.
12:12
And he closed with two things.
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ื•ื”ื•ื ืกื™ื™ื ืขื ืฉื ื™ ื“ื‘ืจื™ื.
12:13
Number one: he couldn't imagine any life more beautiful
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ืื—ื“: ื”ื•ื ืœื ื™ื›ื•ืœ ื”ื™ื” ืœืชืืจ ืœืขืฆืžื•
12:17
than that of a Stoic.
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ื—ื™ื™ื ื™ืคื™ื ื™ื•ืชืจ, ืžืืœื” ืฉืœ ื”ืกื˜ื•ืื™ืงืŸ.
12:20
And the last was his mantra, which he applies to everything,
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ื•ื”ืื—ืจื•ืŸ ื”ื™ื” ื”ืžื ื˜ืจื” ืฉืœื•,
12:23
and you can apply to everything:
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ืฉื”ื•ื ืžื—ื™ืœ ืขืœ ื”ื›ืœ, ื•ืืชื ื™ื›ื•ืœื™ื ืœื”ื—ื™ืœ ืขืœ ื”ื›ืœ:
12:27
"Easy choices, hard life.
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"ื‘ื—ื™ืจื•ืช ืงืœื•ืช, ื—ื™ื™ื ืงืฉื™ื.
12:29
Hard choices, easy life."
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"ื‘ื—ื™ืจื•ืช ืงืฉื•ืช, ื—ื™ื™ื ืงืœื™ื".
12:34
The hard choices --
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ื”ื‘ื—ื™ืจื•ืช ื”ืงืฉื•ืช --
12:36
what we most fear doing, asking, saying --
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ืฉืื ื—ื ื• ืžืคื—ื“ื™ื ื‘ื™ื•ืชืจ ืœืขืฉื•ืช, ืœืฉืื•ืœ, ืœื•ืžืจ --
12:40
these are very often exactly what we most need to do.
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ืืœื• ื”ืŸ ืœืขืชื™ื ืงืจื•ื‘ื•ืช ื‘ื“ื™ื•ืง ืžื” ืฉืื ื—ื ื• ื”ื›ื™ ืฆืจื™ื›ื™ื ืœืขืฉื•ืช.
12:45
And the biggest challenges and problems we face
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ื•ื”ืืชื’ืจื™ื ื”ื’ื“ื•ืœื™ื ื‘ื™ื•ืชืจ ื•ื”ื‘ืขื™ื•ืช ืฉื ืงืจื•ืช ื‘ื“ืจื›ื ื•
12:48
will never be solved with comfortable conversations,
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ืœืขื•ืœื ืœื ื™ื™ืคืชืจื• ืขื ืฉื™ื—ื•ืช ืฉืœื•ื•ืช,
12:51
whether it's in your own head or with other people.
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ื‘ื™ืŸ ืื ื”ืŸ ื‘ืจืืฉื›ื ืื• ืขื ืื ืฉื™ื ืื—ืจื™ื.
12:55
So I encourage you to ask yourselves:
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ืื– ืื ื™ ืžืขื•ื“ื“ ืืชื›ื ืœืฉืื•ืœ ืืช ืขืฆืžื›ื:
12:57
Where in your lives right now
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ื”ื™ื›ืŸ ื‘ื—ื™ื™ื›ื ื›ืขืช ืžืžืฉ
12:58
might defining your fears be more important than defining your goals?
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ื”ื’ื“ืจืช ื”ืคื—ื“ื™ื ืฉืœื›ื ื™ื›ื•ืœื” ืœื”ื™ื•ืช ื—ืฉื•ื‘ื” ื™ื•ืชืจ ืžื”ื’ื“ืจืช ื™ืขื“ื™ื›ื?
13:04
Keeping in mind all the while, the words of Seneca:
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ื›ืฉืืชื ื ื•ืฉืื™ื ืืชื›ื ื›ืœ ื”ืขืช ืืช ืžื™ืœื•ืชื™ื• ืฉืœ ืกื ืงื”:
13:08
"We suffer more often in imagination than in reality."
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"ืœืขืชื™ื ืงืจื•ื‘ื•ืช ืื ื• ืกื•ื‘ืœื™ื ื™ื•ืชืจ ื‘ื“ืžื™ื•ืŸ ืžืืฉืจ ื‘ืžืฆื™ืื•ืช ".
13:11
Thank you very much.
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ืชื•ื“ื” ืจื‘ื” ืœื›ื.
13:13
(Applause)
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(ืžื—ื™ืื•ืช ื›ืคื™ื™ื)
ืขืœ ืืชืจ ื–ื”

ืืชืจ ื–ื” ื™ืฆื™ื’ ื‘ืคื ื™ื›ื ืกืจื˜ื•ื ื™ YouTube ื”ืžื•ืขื™ืœื™ื ืœืœื™ืžื•ื“ ืื ื’ืœื™ืช. ืชื•ื›ืœื• ืœืจืื•ืช ืฉื™ืขื•ืจื™ ืื ื’ืœื™ืช ื”ืžื•ืขื‘ืจื™ื ืขืœ ื™ื“ื™ ืžื•ืจื™ื ืžื”ืฉื•ืจื” ื”ืจืืฉื•ื ื” ืžืจื—ื‘ื™ ื”ืขื•ืœื. ืœื—ืฅ ืคืขืžื™ื™ื ืขืœ ื”ื›ืชื•ื‘ื™ื•ืช ื‘ืื ื’ืœื™ืช ื”ืžื•ืฆื’ื•ืช ื‘ื›ืœ ื“ืฃ ื•ื™ื“ืื• ื›ื“ื™ ืœื”ืคืขื™ืœ ืืช ื”ืกืจื˜ื•ืŸ ืžืฉื. ื”ื›ืชื•ื‘ื™ื•ืช ื’ื•ืœืœื•ืช ื‘ืกื ื›ืจื•ืŸ ืขื ื”ืคืขืœืช ื”ื•ื•ื™ื“ืื•. ืื ื™ืฉ ืœืš ื”ืขืจื•ืช ืื• ื‘ืงืฉื•ืช, ืื ื ืฆื•ืจ ืื™ืชื ื• ืงืฉืจ ื‘ืืžืฆืขื•ืช ื˜ื•ืคืก ื™ืฆื™ืจืช ืงืฉืจ ื–ื”.

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