The science of attraction - Dawn Maslar

Translator: Eva Hoxha Reviewer: Helena Bedalli

We like to think of romantic feelings

Ne kemi deshire te mendojme per ndenjat romantike si spontane

as spontaneous and indescribable things that come from the heart.

dhe gjera te papershkrueshme qe burojne nga zemra.

But it's actually your brain

Por eshte ne te vertete truri yt qe realizon nje seri

running a complex series of calculations within a matter of seconds

komplekse llogaritjesh brenda pak sekondave

that's responsible for determining attraction.

qe jane pergjegjese per percaktimin e terheqjes.

Doesn't sound quite as poetic, does it?

Nuk tingellon dhe aq poetike, apo jo?

But just because the calculations are happening in your brain

Por fakti se lllogaritjet po ndodhin ne trurin tend

doesn't mean those warm, fuzzy feelings are all in your head.

nuk do te thote se ndjenjat e ngohta, te mjegullta jane te gjitha ne koken tuaj.

In fact, all five of your senses play a role,

Ne fakt, te pesta shqisat tuaja luajne nje rol,

each able to vote for, or veto, a budding attraction.

te gjitha kane nje vote ose nje veto, nje lidhje qe nis te lulezoje.

The eyes are the first components in attraction.

Syte jane elementi i pare ne nje terheqje.

Many visual beauty standards vary between cultures and eras,

Shume standarte bukurie mund te variojne

ndermjet kulturave dhe epokave,

and signs of youth, fertility and good health,

dhe shenjat e rinise, pjellorise dhe te shendetit te mire,

such as long lustrous hair,

sic jane floket e gjate e te shkelqyeshem,

or smooth, scar-free skin,

dhe aroma, lekura e paster,

are almost always in demand

jane pothuaj gjithmone ne kerkese

because they're associated with reproductive fitness.

sepse ato jane te shoqeruara me nje pershtatje riprodhuese.

And when the eyes spot something they like,

Dhe kur syte vene re dicka qe e pelqejne,

our instinct is to move closer

instikti yne eshte te levizim me afer

so the other senses can investigate.

ne menyre qe shqisat e tjera te hetojne.

The nose's contribution to romance

Hunda kontribuon ne romance

is more than noticing perfume or cologne.

me shume sesa thjesht nuhatja e parfumit apo kolonjes.

It's able to pick up on natural chemical signals

Ajo eshte e afte te mbledhe sinjale kimike

known as pheromones.

te njohura si feromone.

These not only convey

Keto jo vetem qe sigurojne informacione

important physical or genetic information about their source

fizike dhe gjenetike te rendesishme ne lidhje me burimin e tyre

but are able to activate a physiological or behavioral response in the recipient.

por jane ne gjendje te aktivizojne nje pergjigje

psikologjike ose nje sjellje ne marresin e tyre.

In one study, a group of women

Ne nje studim, nje grup femrash ne stade te ndryshme te ciklit te tyre te ovulimit

at different points in their ovulation cycles

wore the same T-shirts for three nights.

veshen te njejten bluze per tre nete.

After male volunteers were randomly assigned

Pasi meshkuj vullnetare u caktuan ne menyre rastesore

to smell either one of the worn shirts, or a new unworn one,

per te nuhatur njeren nga bluzat e veshura,

ose nje te paveshur,

saliva samples showed an increase in testosterone

shembuj te peshtymes treguan nje rritje ne testosteron

in those who had smelled a shirt worn by an ovulating woman.

ne ata qe kishin nuhatur bluzat e veshura nga femrat ne ovulim.

Such a testosterone boost

Nje rritje e tille ne testosteron

may give a man the nudge to pursue a woman

mund ti jape nje mashkulli shtysen per te ndjekur nje grua

he might not have otherwise noticed.

te cilen nuk mund ta kishte vene re ndryshe.

A woman's nose is particularly attuned

Hunda e nje femre eshte e pershtatur ne menyre te vecante

to MHC molecules, which are used to fight disease.

ndaj molekulave MHC

te cilat perdoren per te luftuar semundjet.

In this case, opposites attract.

Ne kete menyre, te kundertat terhiqen.

When a study asked women to smell T-shirts that had been worn by different men,

Kur nje studim i kerkoi femrave te nuhasin bluzat

te cilat ishin veshur nga meshkuj te ndryshem,

they preferred the odors of those whose MHC molecules differed from theirs.

ato preferuan eren e atyre meshkujve

molekulat MHC e te cileve ndryshonte nga e tyrja.

This makes sense.

Kjo ka kuptim.

Genes that result in a greater variety of immunities

Gjenet te cilat rezultojne ne nje shumellojshmeri me te madhe ne imunitet

may give offspring a major survival advantage.

mund ti japin pasardhesve nje avantazh mbijetese me te madhe.

Our ears also determine attraction.

Veshet tone gjithashtu percaktojne terheqjen.

Men prefer females with high-pitched, breathy voices,

Meshkujt preferojne femra me zera te larte dhe gjallerues,

and wide formant spacing, correlated with smaller body size.

dhe me nje akustike te gjere,

e lidhur kjo me mase te vogel trupore.

While women prefer low-pitched voices with a narrow formant spacing

Nderkohe qe femrat preferojne zera te ulet,

me nje spekter te ngushte

that suggest a larger body size.

qe sugjeron permasa te medha ne trup.

And not surprisingly,

Dhe nuk eshte cudi,

touch turns out to be crucial for romance.

prekja rezulton te jete thelbesore ne romance.

In this experiment, not realizing the study had begun,

Ne kete eksperiment,

duke mos e kuptuar qe studimi kishte filluar,

participants were asked to briefly hold the coffee,

pjesemarresve iu kerkuan te mbajne kafene per pak kohe,

either hot or iced.

te ftohte ose te ngrohte.

Later, the participants read a story about a hypothetical person,

Me vone, pjesemarresve iu kerkua te lexojne nje tregim

per nje person hipotetik,

and were asked to rate their personality.

dhe iu kerkua te vleresojne personalitetin e tyre.

Those who had held the hot cup of coffee

Ata qe kishin mbajtur nje filxhan te ngrohte kafeje

perceived the person in the story as happier,

e vleresuan personin ne tregim si me te lumtur,

more social, more generous and better-natured

me te shoqerueshem, me bujar dhe me te dashur

than those who had held the cup of iced coffee,

sesa ata qe kishin mbajtur nje filxhan te ftohte kafeje,

who rated the person as cold, stoic, and unaffectionate.

te cilet e vleresuan personin si te ftohte, stoik dhe jo te dhembshur.

If a potential mate has managed to pass all these tests,

Nese nje partner i mundshem i ka kaluar

te gjitha keto teste, eshte akoma dhe nje:

there's still one more:

the infamous first kiss,

puthja e pare famekeqe,

a rich and complex exchange of tactile and chemical cues,

nje shkembim i pasur dhe kompleks

i sinjaleve te prekjes dhe kimike,

such as the smell of one's breath,

sic eshte aroma e gojes,

and the taste of their mouth.

shija e gojes.

This magical moment is so critical that a majority of men and women

Momenti magjik eshte kaq kritik

saqe nje pjese e madhe meshkujsh dhe femrash

have reported losing their attraction to someone

kane treguar se e kane humbur terheqjen ndaj dikujt

after a bad first kiss.

pas nje puthje te pare te keqe.

Once attraction is confirmed, your bloodstream is flooded

Por nese terheqja konfirmohet,

vershon gjaku

with norepinephrine,

me norepinefrine,

activating your fight or flight system.

qe aktivizon sistemin tend te fluturoj ose te luftoj.

Your heart beats faster,

Zemra jote rreh me shpejt,

your pupils dilate,

bebet e syrit zmadhohen,

and your body releases glucose for additional energy,

dhe trupi jot liron glukoze per energji shtese,

not because you're in danger but because your body is telling you

jo sepse jeni ne rrezik

por sepse trupi yt po te thote

that something important is happening.

se dicka e rendesishme po ndodh.

To help you focus,

Per te ndihmuar ne fokusim,

norepinephrine creates a sort of tunnel vision,

norepinefrina krijon nje lloj shikimi si tunel

blocking out surrounding distractions,

qe bllokon te gjithe shperqendrimet qe te rrethojne,

possibly even warping your sense of time,

qe ndoshta dhe shtremberojne kuptimin tend per kohen,

and enhancing your memory.

dhe permiresojne kujtesen tende.

This might explain why people never forget their first kiss.

Kjo mund te shpjegoje se pse njerezit nuk e harrojne puthjen e tyre te pare.

The idea of so much of our attraction

Ideja se kaq shume nga terheqja jone

being influenced by chemicals and evolutionary biology

influencohet nga biologjia kimike dhe evoluese

may seem cold and scientific rather than romantic,

mund te duket e ftohte dhe shkencore sesa romantike,

but the next time you see someone you like,

por heren tjeter qe shikoni dike qe ju pelqen,

try to appreciate how your entire body is playing matchmaker

perpiqu te vleresosh sesi i gjithe truri yt po luan nje mbleseri

to decide if that beautiful stranger is right for you.

per te percaktuar nese ai i huaj i bukur eshte i duhuri per ty.