4 signs of emotional abuse - Viann Nguyen-Feng

Translator: María Herrero Prado Reviewer: Servizo de Normalización Lingüística

Emotional abuse can be incredibly damaging,

O abuso emocional pode ser moi prexudicial

increasing a person’s chances of developing depression and anxiety

e aumenta as posibilidades de desenvolver depresión e ansiedade,

sometimes for decades after the fact.

ás veces, durante décadas despois do feito.

Broadly speaking, emotional abuse involves one person controlling another

O abuso emocional ocorre cando unha persoa controla outra

by undermining their sense of self-worth and personal agency.

e mina o seu sentido da autoestima e da autonomía.

But emotionally abusive behaviors can be subtle and difficult to spot,

Porén, as condutas de abuso emocional poden ser sutís e difíciles de detectar,

both from within and outside the abusive relationship.

tanto desde dentro como fóra da relación abusiva.

That’s partly because emotional abuse often exploits

Isto débese en parte a que o abuso adoita explotar

or creates power imbalances between individuals,

ou crear desequilibrios de poder entre individuos,

especially in relationships where safety, care, and trust

especialmente nas relacións nas que seguridade, cariño e confianza

are supposed to be guaranteed,

se dan por supostos,

like the relationship between a caregiver and a child,

como na relación entre un coidador e un neno,

healthcare provider and patient, teacher and student, or intimate partners.

médico e paciente, profesor e alumno, ou nunha parella.

It’s especially insidious because it often makes people doubt

É especialmente enganoso porque ás veces fai dubidar a xente

their perceptions of their own mistreatment.

sobre a súa percepción do maltrato recibido.

So let’s walk through some of the most common signs of emotional abuse,

Imos percorrer algúns dos sinais máis comúns de abuso emocional

to make these behaviors and patterns easier to spot in real life.

para que estas condutas e padróns sexan máis sinxelos de detectar na vida real.

First, the content of someone’s words:

En primeiro lugar, o contido das palabras:

criticism that’s out of proportion to a situation,

as críticas esaxeradas,

excessively harsh or personal, or makes sweeping generalizations

excesivamente duras ou persoais, ou as xeneralizacións amplas

or baseless negative predictions for the future

ou predicións negativas sen fundamento

is a warning sign of emotional abuse.

son un sinal de abuso emocional.

Statements like, “You always make such stupid decisions,”

Declaracións como “sempre tomas as decisións máis estúpidas”,

“You never do anything right,” and “Nobody else will ever love you,”

“nunca fas nada ben” e “ninguén máis te amará”

aren’t constructive; they’re never warranted,

non son construtivas, nunca están xustificadas

and someone’s use of them is a red flag.

e o seu uso é un sinal de alarma.

Second, tone and non-verbal cues:

En segundo lugar, o ton e os sinais non verbais:

yelling, ignoring and showing contempt through body language are all ways

berrar, ignorar e mostrar desprezo a través da linguaxe corporal

to degrade someone.

son formas de degradar as persoas.

Dismissive behaviors like eye rolling, glaring, or refusal to make eye contact,

As condutas desdeñosas, como pór os ollos en branco,

rexeitar a mirada, negarse a falar con alguén ou a recoñecer a súa presenza

along with refusing to speak to someone or acknowledge their presence—

sometimes called “the silent treatment”—

(ás veces chamado “tratamento silencioso”)

can all feature in patterns of emotional abuse.

poden aparecer en padróns de abuso emocional.

These behaviors can painfully transform

Estas condutas poden transformar dolorosamente

the meaning of spoken statements that might otherwise seem benign.

o significado das declaracións orais que, doutro xeito, poderían parecer boas.

Third, how someone reacts to being told they’ve said

En terceiro lugar, como reacciona alguén cando se lle avisa que dixo

or done something hurtful can give important insight:

ou fixo algo ferinte pode dar unha idea importante:

do they apologize sincerely and act differently in the future,

descúlpase sinceramente e actúa de xeito diferente no futuro

or do they dismiss and minimize the pain they’ve caused?

ou descarta e minimiza a dor que causou?

It’s common for abusers to try to undermine

É común que os abusadores tenten minar

their target’s perceptions of events—

a percepción dos acontecementos da outra persoa.

this is sometimes referred to as “gaslighting.”

Ás veces isto coñécese como “luz de gas”.

Following up demeaning, humiliating, or threatening remarks

Seguir os comentarios degradantes, humillantes ou ameazantes

with comments that dismiss the impact of those remarks,

con comentarios que descartan o impacto desas observacións,

like “I’m just trying to help you improve yourself— you should be grateful,”

como “só intento axudarte a mellorar, deberías darme as grazas”

or “It’s really you that’s selfish and manipulative— you’re hurting me,”

ou “ti es a egoísta e manipuladora, fasme dano”,

are examples of this behavior.

son exemplos destas condutas.

Lastly, when someone directs any of these behaviors at you,

Por último, cando alguén se comporta así,

take note of whether this is part of a pattern of behavior from them.

comproba se é parte dun padrón de conduta.

A one-time incident of name-calling or a demeaning insult

Un incidente puntual de insultos ou alcumes denigrantes

might not be emotional abuse,

pode non ser abuso emocional,

while repetition over time can have a much more serious impact.

mentres que unha repetición no tempo pode ter un impacto máis grave.

Both frequency, how often these behaviors occur in a given period of time,

Tanto a frecuencia destas condutas nun período de tempo concreto

and duration, or how long they last, whether days or years,

como a duración, canto duran, xa sexan días ou anos,

can contribute to the severity of the abuse.

poden contribuír á gravidade do abuso.

It’s also important to remember that abusers rarely engage

Tamén cómpre recordar que os abusadores

in abusive behaviors 100% of the time—

non abusan o 100 % do tempo.

moments of kindness or calm don’t invalidate moments of abuse,

Os momentos de amabilidade ou calma non invalidan os de abuso,

but are actually part of the cycle of emotional manipulation.

senón que forman parte do ciclo de manipulación emocional.

So what can you do if you think you or someone you care about

Entón, que podes facer se pensas que ti ou alguén que che importa

is experiencing emotional abuse?

está a sufrir abuso emocional?

Maintaining interpersonal ties with people other than the abuser is crucial,

Manter vínculos interpersoais con persoas que non sexan o maltratador é crucial,

as abusers often try to isolate their targets from others close to them.

xa que os abusadores adoitan tentar illar as vítimas dos seus seres queridos.

If you think you might be experiencing emotional abuse,

Se pensas que podes estar sufrindo abuso emocional,

consider sharing your experiences with a trusted friend or relative

considera compartir as túas experiencias cun amigo ou familiar de confianza

to get outside support.

para conseguir apoio.

Or you can seek local or national confidential advocacy centers

Podes buscar centros de axuda nacionais ou locais

that can provide helpful resources.

que che axuden a encontrar solucións.

And if you think someone you know is being emotionally abused,

E se pensas que están abusando de alguén emocionalmente,

check in with them.

vixíao neste proceso.

Let them know you’re thinking of them

Faille saber que pensas nel

and that you're ready to listen whenever they'd like to share.

e que estás preparado para escoitar o que queira compartir.

While emotional abusers may convince people that they deserve to be mistreated,

Aínda que os abusadores poidan convencer as persoas de que merecen o maltrato,

nobody does: everyone deserves kindness and respect.

ninguén o merece: todos somos dignos de amabilidade e respecto.