What fear can teach us | Karen Thompson Walker

Translator: Morton Bast Reviewer: Thu-Huong Ha

譯者: Yu-Sheng Lin 審譯者: Juliana So

One day in 1819,

在西元1819年的某一天,

3,000 miles off the coast of Chile,

距離智利的海岸線3,000英哩之遙，

in one of the most remote regions of the Pacific Ocean,

在一個太平洋上最偏遠的角落，

20 American sailors watched their ship flood with seawater.

有20個美國水手看著海水湧入他們的船。

They'd been struck by a sperm whale, which had ripped

他們的船被一條抹香鯨撞上了，

a catastrophic hole in the ship's hull.

船身破了一個足以造成災難的大洞。

As their ship began to sink beneath the swells,

當他們的船開始下沉的時候，

the men huddled together in three small whaleboats.

這些水手擠上了三條小船。

These men were 10,000 miles from home,

他們離家10,000英哩遠，

more than 1,000 miles from the nearest scrap of land.

最接近的陸地也在超過1,000英哩之外。

In their small boats, they carried only

在他們的小船上，也僅僅只有

rudimentary navigational equipment

簡陋的導航設備

and limited supplies of food and water.

和有限的食物和水。

These were the men of the whaleship Essex,

這些人是捕鯨船艾塞克斯號上的船員，

whose story would later inspire parts of "Moby Dick."

他們的故事後來成為了 名著《白鯨記》(Moby Dick) 的一部分。

Even in today's world, their situation would be really dire,

即使在現代，他們遭遇的情況也是非常可怕的，

but think about how much worse it would have been then.

更不用說在他們的年代這有多麼糟糕。

No one on land had any idea that anything had gone wrong.

在陸地上的人都不知道這次事故。

No search party was coming to look for these men.

也不會有搜救團隊來尋找這些人。

So most of us have never experienced a situation

我們大多數人從未經歷過

as frightening as the one in which these sailors found themselves,

像這些船員所遭遇般如此令人害怕的情況，

but we all know what it's like to be afraid.

但我們都知道害怕是怎麼一回事。

We know how fear feels,

我們知道恐懼的感覺是什麼樣的，

but I'm not sure we spend enough time thinking about

但我不確定我們有花足夠的時間思考

what our fears mean.

到底我們的恐懼有什麼樣的意義。

As we grow up, we're often encouraged to think of fear

在我們長大的過程中，我們常被鼓勵把恐懼

as a weakness, just another childish thing to discard

當作是弱點，只是一種該被棄掉的幼稚東西，

like baby teeth or roller skates.

就像乳牙或是溜冰鞋一般。

And I think it's no accident that we think this way.

而我認為我們會這樣來看待恐懼，並非是偶發的事件。

Neuroscientists have actually shown that human beings

神經學家的研究實際上顯示了，人類

are hard-wired to be optimists.

天生就是會變成樂觀主義者。

So maybe that's why we think of fear, sometimes,

也許這就是為什麼我們有時候會把恐懼，

as a danger in and of itself.

當成是可能隱含著甚至本身就是危險的。

"Don't worry," we like to say to one another. "Don't panic."

我們常會對別人說「別擔心」，「不要慌」。

In English, fear is something we conquer.

在英語中，恐懼是我們征服的對象。

It's something we fight. It's something we overcome.

恐懼是我們要對抗的，是我們要克服的。

But what if we looked at fear in a fresh way?

但如果我們用新的方式來看待恐懼呢？

What if we thought of fear as an amazing act of the imagination,

如果我們把恐據當做是人類想像力的令人驚異的演出呢？

something that can be as profound and insightful

如果恐懼也可以是深刻而有見地的

as storytelling itself?

就如同說故事一般？

It's easiest to see this link between fear and the imagination

恐懼與想像力之間的連結，最容易看到的例子

in young children, whose fears are often extraordinarily vivid.

就是在年幼的兒童身上，他們的恐懼往往格外生動。

When I was a child, I lived in California,

我小的時候住在加州

which is, you know, mostly a very nice place to live,

如你所知的，加州在大部分的情況下是很棒的居住地，

but for me as a child, California could also be a little scary.

但對於我這個小孩來說，加州是有點可怕的。

I remember how frightening it was to see the chandelier

我還記得我有多害怕，當我看到家裡的吊燈

that hung above our dining table swing back and forth

在餐桌上方來回擺盪，

during every minor earthquake,

這樣的事情在每一次輕微的地震都會發生，

and I sometimes couldn't sleep at night, terrified

而我有時候晚上甚至會害怕到睡不著，

that the Big One might strike while we were sleeping.

擔心當我們都睡覺的時候，可能會有大地震。

And what we say about kids who have fears like that

我們會說像有這樣恐懼的孩子們

is that they have a vivid imagination.

是具有非常豐富的想像力的。

But at a certain point, most of us learn

但在成長的某些時間點上，我們大多數人

to leave these kinds of visions behind and grow up.

都會學著放下這些想像而長大。

We learn that there are no monsters hiding under the bed,

我們知道，床底下並不會有怪物躲著

and not every earthquake brings buildings down.

也不是每個地震都會震垮建築物。

But maybe it's no coincidence that some of our most creative minds

但或許這是不是巧合，一些最有創意的頭腦的人們

fail to leave these kinds of fears behind as adults.

並無法在長大成人後擺脫這些恐懼。

The same incredible imaginations that produced "The Origin of Species,"

這樣的超凡想像力創造出《物種起源》

"Jane Eyre" and "The Remembrance of Things Past,"

《簡 · 愛》和《追憶似水年華》，

also generated intense worries that haunted the adult lives

同樣也造成了終生的強烈憂慮，影響著

of Charles Darwin, Charlotte BrontĂŤ and Marcel Proust.

查理斯 · 達爾文、 夏綠蒂 · 博朗特，和馬塞爾 · 普魯斯特。

So the question is, what can the rest of us learn about fear

所以，問題來了，我們可以從別人的恐懼學習到什麼？

from visionaries and young children?

特別是從這些遠見者和年輕的孩子？

Well let's return to the year 1819 for a moment,

讓我們再回到前面說的1819年的時候，

to the situation facing the crew of the whaleship Essex.

那些埃塞克斯捕鯨船上的船員所面對的情況。

Let's take a look at the fears that their imaginations

讓我們看一看因他們的想像力所產生的恐懼，

were generating as they drifted in the middle of the Pacific.

當他們漂流在太平洋上的時候。

Twenty-four hours had now passed since the capsizing of the ship.

捕鯨船翻覆已經過了二十四小時了。

The time had come for the men to make a plan,

這些人必須作出一些計畫了

but they had very few options.

但是他們的選項很少。

In his fascinating account of the disaster,

在他令人著迷的災難記述中

Nathaniel Philbrick wrote that these men were just about

納旦尼爾 · 菲爾布裡克寫道：這些人大概

as far from land as it was possible to be anywhere on Earth.

可以說是在地球上的一個離任何陸地都最遠的地方。

The men knew that the nearest islands they could reach

這些人知道離他們最近的島嶼

were the Marquesas Islands, 1,200 miles away.

是馬克薩斯群島，有 1200 英里遠。

But they'd heard some frightening rumors.

但他們聽說過一些令人恐懼的謠言。

They'd been told that these islands,

他們聽別人說過，這些島嶼，

and several others nearby, were populated by cannibals.

和其他幾個附近的島嶼，都住著食人族。

So the men pictured coming ashore only to be murdered

所以這些人腦海中的想像，如果上了岸，也是會被殺掉

and eaten for dinner.

被當成晚餐。

Another possible destination was Hawaii,

另一個可能的目標是夏威夷，

but given the season, the captain was afraid

但在當時的季節，船長擔心去那個方向

they'd be struck by severe storms.

會遭遇到嚴重的風暴。

Now the last option was the longest, and the most difficult:

現在最後一個選項是最遠的、 也是最困難的：

to sail 1,500 miles due south in hopes of reaching

就是向南航行 1500 英里，然後希望能進入到

a certain band of winds that could eventually

一個季風帶，然後順著風能夠

push them toward the coast of South America.

航行到南美洲的海岸。

But they knew that the sheer length of this journey

但是，他們也知道這樣的航行的距離

would stretch their supplies of food and water.

對他們的食物和水的供應是非常勉強的。

To be eaten by cannibals, to be battered by storms,

被食人族吃掉，或是被風暴襲擊，

to starve to death before reaching land.

或是在到達陸地前餓死。

These were the fears that danced in the imaginations of these poor men,

這些都是這些可憐的船員們的想像力所創造出來的各種恐懼

and as it turned out, the fear they chose to listen to

而他們選擇聽從的恐懼，將會

would govern whether they lived or died.

決定他們是能活下來，或者死亡。

Now we might just as easily call these fears by a different name.

其實我們可以很容易的用一個不同的名稱來稱呼這些恐懼。

What if instead of calling them fears,

比方說，若我們不把它們叫做恐懼，

we called them stories?

而是把它們叫做故事呢？

Because that's really what fear is, if you think about it.

因為這就是恐懼的真實面貌，如果你想想看就知道。

It's a kind of unintentional storytelling

恐懼是一種無意識的說故事的方式

that we are all born knowing how to do.

我們從出生就都知道要如何做。

And fears and storytelling have the same components.

恐懼和說故事具有相同的元素。

They have the same architecture.

他們有相同的結構。

Like all stories, fears have characters.

如同所有的故事，恐懼也有角色。

In our fears, the characters are us.

在我們的恐懼裡，角色就是我們自己。

Fears also have plots. They have beginnings and middles and ends.

恐懼也有腳本。也一樣有起承轉合。

You board the plane. The plane takes off. The engine fails.

你登上飛機。飛機起飛。引擎失靈。

Our fears also tend to contain imagery that can be

我們的恐懼也通常會包含圖像，就如同

every bit as vivid as what you might find in the pages of a novel.

小說裡那像生動的描繪。

Picture a cannibal, human teeth

想像一下食人族，人類的牙齒

sinking into human skin,

咬進人類的皮膚，

human flesh roasting over a fire.

在火上烤人肉。

Fears also have suspense.

恐懼也會有懸疑感。

If I've done my job as a storyteller today,

如果今天我已經把我身為一個故事講述者的工作做完

you should be wondering what happened

你應該就已經知道發生了什麼事

to the men of the whaleship Essex.

在那些艾塞克斯捕鯨船上的船員們身上。

Our fears provoke in us a very similar form of suspense.

我們的恐懼在我們心中挑起了一種非常類似的懸疑感。

Just like all great stories, our fears focus our attention

就如同每個偉大的故事，我們的恐懼讓我們注意力集中

on a question that is as important in life as it is in literature:

在一個生活中或是文學作品中的重要的問題上：

What will happen next?

「後來怎麼樣了呢？」

In other words, our fears make us think about the future.

換句話說，我們的恐懼讓我們思考未來。

And humans, by the way, are the only creatures capable

順帶一提，人類是動物中唯一能夠

of thinking about the future in this way,

用這種方式來思考未來的，

of projecting ourselves forward in time,

把我們自己向前投射到未來的時間，

and this mental time travel is just one more thing

而這樣的心理上的時間旅行，也是另一個

that fears have in common with storytelling.

恐懼與說故事共通的事情。

As a writer, I can tell you that a big part of writing fiction

作為一個作家，我可以告訴你，寫小說的很大一部分

is learning to predict how one event in a story

就是學習去預測故事中的一個事件，會如何

will affect all the other events,

影響所有的其他事件

and fear works in that same way.

而恐懼運作的方式也是完全相同的。

In fear, just like in fiction, one thing always leads to another.

在恐懼之中，就像在小說中，一件事總是導致另一件事。

When I was writing my first novel, "The Age Of Miracles,"

當我在寫我的第一部小說，《奇蹟年代》的時候

I spent months trying to figure out what would happen

我花了幾個月試圖弄清楚可能會發生什麼事，

if the rotation of the Earth suddenly began to slow down.

如果地球的旋轉突然開始慢下來。

What would happen to our days? What would happen to our crops?

我們的生活會發生什麼變化？我們的農作物又會怎麼樣？

What would happen to our minds?

我們的心智會怎麼樣變化？

And then it was only later that I realized how very similar

後來我才發現到，這些問題真的很像那些

these questions were to the ones I used to ask myself

我以前拿來問我自己的

as a child frightened in the night.

在小時候的嚇壞了的夜裡問的問題。

If an earthquake strikes tonight, I used to worry,

就是如果今晚有地震襲擊，我常常會擔心，

what will happen to our house? What will happen to my family?

我們的房子會發生什麼事？我的家人會發生什麼事？

And the answer to those questions always took the form of a story.

而這些問題的答案總是以一個故事的形式來呈現。

So if we think of our fears as more than just fears

所以，如果我們把我們的恐懼不只是當作恐懼，

but as stories, we should think of ourselves

而是當作故事，而我們應該把自己

as the authors of those stories.

當作是這些故事的作者。

But just as importantly, we need to think of ourselves

但同樣重要的是，我們需要也把自己

as the readers of our fears, and how we choose

當作是我們的恐懼的讀者，而我們選擇如何

to read our fears can have a profound effect on our lives.

去閱讀我們的恐懼，將會對我們的生活有深遠的影響。

Now, some of us naturally read our fears more closely than others.

現在，我們中的一些人，天生就能比別人更深入的閱讀恐懼。

I read about a study recently of successful entrepreneurs,

我最近讀到一個研究，是關於成功的創業家的，

and the author found that these people shared a habit

作者發現了這些人有一種共同的習慣

that he called "productive paranoia," which meant that

所謂的「生產性的偏執狂」，意思是

these people, instead of dismissing their fears,

這些人，當他們面對恐懼時，並不是去忽略，

these people read them closely, they studied them,

而是去深入的研讀恐懼，他們會去研究恐懼，

and then they translated that fear into preparation and action.

然後他們把恐懼轉換成準備和行動。

So that way, if their worst fears came true,

以這樣的方式，就算他們擔心的最糟情況成真了，

their businesses were ready.

他們的生意也已經做好了準備。

And sometimes, of course, our worst fears do come true.

當然有時候，我們最擔心的事情也是會發生的。

That's one of the things that is so extraordinary about fear.

這就是恐懼本身非常特別的事情之一。

Once in a while, our fears can predict the future.

偶爾，我們的恐懼可以預測未來。

But we can't possibly prepare for all of the fears

但我們並不可能針對我們的想像力所能編造的所有恐懼

that our imaginations concoct.

都事先做好準備。

So how can we tell the difference between

那我們該如何分辨出

the fears worth listening to and all the others?

值得聆聽的恐懼和其他不值得聆聽的呢？

I think the end of the story of the whaleship Essex

我認為艾塞克斯號捕鯨船的故事的結局

offers an illuminating, if tragic, example.

提供了一個具啟發性的例子，雖然算是個悲劇結局。

After much deliberation, the men finally made a decision.

在一番討論之後，這些船員們做出了決定。

Terrified of cannibals, they decided to forgo the closest islands

因為害怕食人族，他們決定放棄，不朝向最接近的群島

and instead embarked on the longer

而選擇了需要更長時間

and much more difficult route to South America.

也更困難的路途，到南美洲。

After more than two months at sea, the men ran out of food

然後在海上過了兩個多月，這些船員們的食物吃完了，

as they knew they might,

如同他們原先預期的，

and they were still quite far from land.

而他們仍然離陸地相當遠。

When the last of the survivors were finally picked up

當最後的那些倖存者被救起到

by two passing ships, less than half of the men were left alive,

兩艘路過的船舶時，只有少於一半的船員們還活著，

and some of them had resorted to their own form of cannibalism.

而其中的一些船員也選擇了吃人肉的做法。

Herman Melville, who used this story as research for "Moby Dick,"

赫爾曼 · 梅爾維爾，在多年之後寫《白鯨記》前,

wrote years later, and from dry land, quote,

也研究了這個故事，身處在陸地上，他引述說：

"All the sufferings of these miserable men of the Essex

「埃塞克斯號的這些可憐的船員們所遭受的苦難

might in all human probability have been avoided

或許是可以完全地被避免的

had they, immediately after leaving the wreck,

假使他們能夠，在船難發生以後，

steered straight for Tahiti.

就立刻直向大溪地航行。」

But," as Melville put it, "they dreaded cannibals."

但是，正如梅爾維爾所說的，「他們害怕食人族。」

So the question is, why did these men dread cannibals

所以問題是，為什麼這些船員對於食人族

so much more than the extreme likelihood of starvation?

如此的懼怕，甚至還超過了極可能發生的食物短缺呢？

Why were they swayed by one story

他們為什麼被一個故事動搖的程度

so much more than the other?

遠勝於另一個故事呢？

Looked at from this angle,

從這個角度看

theirs becomes a story about reading.

他們的故事變成了一個關於閱讀的故事。

The novelist Vladimir Nabokov said that the best reader

小說家弗拉基米爾 · 納博科夫說，最佳的讀者

has a combination of two very different temperaments,

結合了兩種非常不同的氣質，

the artistic and the scientific.

藝術的和科學的。

A good reader has an artist's passion,

一位好讀者有著藝術家的激情，

a willingness to get caught up in the story,

願意沉浸在故事中，

but just as importantly, the readers also needs

但也同樣重要的是，讀者還需要

the coolness of judgment of a scientist,

如同科學家一般的冷靜判斷，

which acts to temper and complicate

這會影響並複雜化

the reader's intuitive reactions to the story.

讀者對故事的直覺反應。

As we've seen, the men of the Essex had no trouble with the artistic part.

如同我們已經看到的，埃塞克斯號的船員 在藝術的部分沒有問題。

They dreamed up a variety of horrifying scenarios.

他們想像出了各種各樣的可怕場景。

The problem was that they listened to the wrong story.

他們的問題在於他們選擇聽從了錯誤的故事。

Of all the narratives their fears wrote,

在他們的恐懼所述說的各種情境中，

they responded only to the most lurid, the most vivid,

他們只選擇了最駭人，最生動，

the one that was easiest for their imaginations to picture:

他們的想像力最容易發揮的那個：

cannibals.

食人族的情境。

But perhaps if they'd been able to read their fears

但如果他們已經知道如何閱讀他們的恐懼

more like a scientist, with more coolness of judgment,

用更像是一位科學家，用更冷靜的判斷，

they would have listened instead to the less violent

他們也許會選擇那個較少暴力

but the more likely tale, the story of starvation,

但更有可能發生的故事，就是食物短缺，

and headed for Tahiti, just as Melville's sad commentary suggests.

而選擇航向大溪地，正如梅爾維爾悲傷的評論所建議那般。

And maybe if we all tried to read our fears,

如果我們都嘗試閱讀我們的恐懼，

we too would be less often swayed

或許我們也將能夠比較不被

by the most salacious among them.

想像的故事中最恐怖的吸引。

Maybe then we'd spend less time worrying about

也許如此我們就能少花些時間擔心那些

serial killers and plane crashes,

連續殺人犯和飛機空難，

and more time concerned with the subtler

而是花更多的時間去關注細微而且

and slower disasters we face:

緩慢的迫近我們的災難：

the silent buildup of plaque in our arteries,

比方說，在我們的動脈裡堆積的致命問題

the gradual changes in our climate.

還有正在逐漸改變的氣候。

Just as the most nuanced stories in literature are often the richest,

正如同在文學中, 最微小的故事往往是最豐富的，

so too might our subtlest fears be the truest.

而我們所面臨的最微小恐懼，也可能就是最真實的。

Read in the right way, our fears are an amazing gift

以正確的方式看待, 我們的恐懼是一項神奇的天賦

of the imagination, a kind of everyday clairvoyance,

透過想像，就好像每一天都能具有千里眼的能力，

a way of glimpsing what might be the future

能夠窺見未來將發生何事

when there's still time to influence how that future will play out.

而且能夠在還有時間的時候就去改變未來。

Properly read, our fears can offer us something as precious

正確地去讀，我們的恐懼能夠給我們非常珍貴的，

as our favorite works of literature:

如同人類最好的文學作品一般的：

a little wisdom, a bit of insight

一點點智慧，一點點的洞察力

and a version of that most elusive thing --

和那個最難以捉摸的東西的一面— —

the truth.

就是真相。

Thank you. (Applause)

謝謝。（掌聲）