LEGO for grownups | Hillel Cooperman

譯者: Lin Su-Wei(林書暐) 審譯者: Jeannie Cheng

So, these are

大家都經歷過所謂的

the Dark Ages.

黑暗時代

And the Dark Ages are the time between

這黑暗時代是介乎於

when you put away the LEGO

從你小時候

for the last time as a kid,

最後一次玩樂高玩具開始

and you decide as an adult that it is okay to play with a kid's toy.

到你覺得長大後仍玩樂高玩具其實也沒什麼不可

Started out with my then four-year-old:

這故事與我當年只有四歲的孩子有關

"Oh, should buy the kid some LEGO.

我想："哎呀，我應該買給孩子樂高玩具"

That stuff's cool."

"他一定會很喜歡"

Walked into the LEGO store.

然後我就走進樂高玩具店

Bought him this.

買了這套回家

It's totally appropriate for a four-year-old.

這完全是適合四歲的兒童

(Laughter)

(笑)

I think the box says --

我想包裝外殼上寫 --

let's see here --

讓我看看 --

"8 to 12" on it.

適齡：8到12歲

I turn to my wife and said, "Who are we buying this for?"

我問我老婆："糟糕，我們是要買給誰阿?"

She's like, "Oh, us." I'm like, "Okay. All right. That's cool."

她說："喔，不然自己玩好了"。我回："好吧，我也挺喜歡這個的"

Pretty soon it got a little bit out of control.

很快的事情就有點脫序了

The dining room looked like this.

不久家裡餐廳就變成這樣

You walk there, and it hurts.

走過去不小心還會受傷

So we took a room downstairs in the basement

所以我們就在地下室騰出一個房間

that had been used as sort of an Abu Ghraib annex.

這房間原本是用來虐待的

(Laughter)

(笑)

Torture, very funny.

我家有人被虐待這麼好笑

Wow, you guys are great.

你們真是好樣的

And we put down those little floor tiles,

把餐廳的樂高挪到地下室後

and then I went onto eBay

沒多久我又馬上到eBay網

and bought 150 pounds of LEGO --

買了150磅的樂高

(Laughter)

(笑)

which is insane.

根本是發瘋了

My daughter -- the day we got it, I was tucking her in --

我女兒，這150磅的樂高送來的當天晚上，睡前我幫她蓋被

and I said,

然後我說

"Honey, you're my treasure."

"小甜心，妳是我的寶貝"

And she said, "No, the LEGO is the treasure."

然後她回說："不是，樂高才是寶貝"

(Laughter)

(笑)

And then she said, "Dad, we're LEGO rich."

然後她接著說："老爸，我們是樂高界的郭台銘"

I was like, "Yeah.

我回說："是呀"

I suppose we are."

"我們是樂高郭台銘"

So then once you do that

買了這麼多的樂高後

you're like, "Oh, crap. Where am I going to put all this?"

你會想到："喔，我是豬嗎?我得幫這些東西好好找個家"

So you go to The Container Store

然後就開始逛貨櫃商店（註：美國賣儲物箱的賣場）

and spend an enormous amount of money,

很快的在裡面買一大堆東西

and then you start this crazy sorting process

然後就開始作瘋狂的分類工作

that never --

從來沒有如此

it's just nuts.

瘋狂

Whatever.

事情大概就這樣

So then you realize there are these conventions.

接著你會注意到一些同好社團，會試著加入

And you go to one of these conventions, and some dude built the Titanic.

在裡面你會發現，有很多吃飽閒著的人會打造像鐵達尼號這種大物

And you're like, "Holy shit!

你會大叫："我的媽"

He had to come in like a truck,

"他大概得用一台卡車"

a semi, with this thing."

"還是一台拖車才能把這玩意兒載走"

And then someone built this -- this is the Smith Tower in Seattle.

有人還作了這個，西雅圖的史密斯大廈

Just beautiful.

多美呀

And there's a dude selling these

還有個閒人

aftermarket weapons for LEGO,

開了店來賣樂高的武器零件

because LEGO -- the Danish --

因為樂高----丹麥這國家

no, they're not into guns.

他們沒這麼喜歡武器

But the Americans? Oh, we'll make some guns for LEGO, no problem.

但美國人呢?噢，我們一定要在樂高世界裡添購武器

And at a certain point, you look around,

到了某個時刻，你望望四周

you're like, "Whoa, this is a really nerdy crowd."

你覺得："唉呦，真是一大群怪人呀"

And I mean like this is a nerdy crowd,

我所謂的怪

but that's like a couple of levels above furries.

真的是比全身長毛的人還要怪

(Laughter)

(笑)

The nerds here, they get laid --

這些怪人，對什麼事都沒興趣

except for the lady with the condoms in her pocket --

除了皮包裡永遠都有保險套的辣妹

and you say to yourself at some point,

結果我發現自己跟他們越來越像

"Am I part of this group? Like, am I into this?"

"我跟這些人混在一起?" "我是這種人嗎?"

And I was just like, "Yeah, I guess I am.

我承認，沒錯，我是

I'm coming out.

我想通了

I'm kind of into this stuff, and I'm going to stop being embarrassed."

我已經變成這樣的人了，我不該感到尷尬丟臉

So then you really get into it,

所以我就一頭完全的栽進去了

and you're like, "Well, the LEGO people in Denmark, they've got all this software

而且，丹麥的樂高總部發展了一套軟體

to let you build your own virtually."

讓你可以在電腦上拼樂高

And so this is like this CAD program where you build it.

這個像CAD的軟體（註：運用電腦軟體製作並模擬實物設計）

And then whatever you design virtually,

不論你設計了多怪的東西

you click the button and it shows up at your doorstep a week later.

你只要點滑鼠，過一個星期實體就會送到你家門口了

And then some of the designs that people do

有些設計師就專門做這種生意

they actually sell in the store.

他們會把自己的作品放在樂高商店賣

The LEGO guys don't give you any royalties, strangely,

真怪耶，樂高的老闆又不會付你設計版稅

but some user made this and then it sold.

但就是有人會這樣做

And it's pretty amazing actually.

真的非常瘋狂

Then you notice that if that

你們也會注意到

LEGO-provided CAD program isn't enough,

如果這種CAD程式有所不足怎麼辦

there's an entire open-source, third-party,

有人開發出另一款軟體

independent LEGO CAD program

同時還開放程式碼

that lets you do 3D modeling

讓你可以3D建模（用多邊形組合成立體模型）

and 3D rendering

3D渲染（在立體模型上貼顏色或材質）

and make, in fact, movies out of LEGO,

有人用樂高拍影片

3D films

這類影片

of which there are thousands on YouTube,

Youtube上有一大堆

and some of them sort of mimicking famous films

有些影片會模仿最受歡迎的電影

and some totally original content --

有一些是自創的影片

just beautiful --

超棒的

and people recreating all sorts of things.

有人會重現某些場景

I have to take a moment.

我要講一下這個

I love the guy who's like running away

我喜歡這個小人

with his clasps, his hooks.

用像小鉤子的手扣住車跑動的樣子

Okay. Anyway.

沒錯，就像這樣

(Laughter)

(笑)

There's a whole programming language and robotics tool,

左邊是一個能編寫程式語言來操縱機器人的工具

so if you want to teach someone how to program,

若想教某人去編寫程式

kid, adult, whatever it is.

不論對象是小孩，還是大人都可以

And the guy that made this,

有人做出右邊這個

he made a slot machine out of LEGO.

樂高吃角子老虎

And I don't mean he made LEGO that looked like a slot machine;

這可不是只有外表像吃角子老虎

I mean he made a slot machine out of LEGO.

這整台真的都是樂高

The insides were LEGO.

連內部的運作零件都是樂高

There's people getting drunk building LEGO,

這些高手可以醉醺醺的組裝樂高

and you've got to finish the thing before you puke.

然後在嘔吐之前把作品完成

There's a whole gray market for LEGO,

這是樂高的地下市場

thousands of home-based businesses.

宛如一個"家庭代工"市場

And some people will fund their entire LEGO habit

有很多人靠對樂高的喜好來賺錢

by selling the little guy,

就賣這些小東西

but then you have no guys in your ships.

你想要什麼角色在船上這裡統統有

And then, just some examples. This stuff really is sculpture.

再跟各位分享。有人可以把樂高弄的超像雕塑品

This is amazing what you can do.

你沒辦法想像有人可以弄成這樣

And don't kid yourself:

我可沒亂講

some architectural details, incredible organic shapes

原建築的細節，生物的外觀特徵

and just, even, nature out of, again, little blocks.

都能用這小小的積木堆疊出來

This is my house.

這是我家

And this is my house.

這也是我家

I was afraid a car was going to come smash it

當我在拍這張照片的時候

as I was taking a picture for you guys.

超怕有台車經過輾暴我家

Anyway, I'm out of time.

天阿，我快沒時間了

But just very quickly --

我要非常快速的

we'll just see if I can do this quick.

讓你們看看我組裝的實力

Because there aren't enough TED logos around here.

我發現這裡的TED標誌實在有點少

(Laughter)

(笑)

Let's see here.

快好了

Okay.

完成

Ta-da.

將將

(Applause)

(掌聲)