Enough with the fear of fat | Kelli Jean Drinkwater

翻译人员: uzz li 校对人员: Yangyang Liu

I'm here today to talk to you about a very powerful little word,

我来这里是为了和你们分享一个 并不起眼，却很有力量的词，

one that people will do almost anything

人们为了避免它，

甚至愿意做任何事。

to avoid becoming.

Billion-dollar industries thrive

人们对它的恐惧

because of the fear of it,

催生了数十亿美元的产业，

and those of us who undeniably are it

我们中有些人拥有它，

are left to navigate a relentless storm

并且不得不忍受

surrounding it.

它为生活带来的巨大动荡。

我不知道你们有没有注意到，

I'm not sure if any of you have noticed,

but I'm fat.

我很胖。

Not the lowercase, muttered-behind-my-back kind,

不是那种不明显的， 只让人在我背后咕哝的胖，

or the seemingly harmless chubby or cuddly.

也不是那种看起来无害的乖胖，

甚至也不是那种神秘、性感的丰腴。

I'm not even the more sophisticated voluptuous or curvaceous kind.

Let's not sugarcoat it.

还是不要用任何冠冕堂皇的词了。

I am the capital F-A-T kind of fat.

我就是那种显而易见的肥胖。

I am the elephant in the room.

我就是屋子里那只显眼的大象。

当我走上舞台的时候，

When I walked out on stage,

some of you may have been thinking,

你们当中的一些人会想，

"Aww, this is going to be hilarious,

“噢，这肯定会非常搞笑，

because everybody knows that fat people are funny."

因为每个人都知道，胖子很搞笑。”

(Laughter)

（笑声）

Or you may have been thinking, "Where does she get her confidence from?"

你们也会想， “她这是哪里来的自信呀？”

Because a confident fat woman is almost unthinkable.

因为一个自信的胖女人， 好像只是想象中的存在。

The fashion-conscious members of the audience

部分有时尚感的听众，

可能已经意识到， 我穿这件 Beth Ditto 裙子

may have been thinking how fabulous I look

in this Beth Ditto dress --

非常美——

(Cheers)

（欢呼声）

thank you very much.

谢谢大家。

Whereas some of you might have thought,

但你们其中也有一些人会想，

"Hmm, black would have been so much more slimming."

“嗯，黑色会让她看起来瘦一点。”

（笑声）

(Laughter)

You may have wondered, consciously or not,

你也许会有意或无意的想，

if I have diabetes, or a partner,

我可能有糖尿病， 或者我已经结婚了，

or if I eat carbs after 7pm.

或者我7点以后还在吃零食。

（笑声）

(Laughter)

You may have worried that you ate carbs after 7pm last night,

你可能还担心自己， 因为你昨天七点以后吃了零食，

and that you really should renew your gym membership.

你会感觉非常需要给健身卡续费。

These judgments are insidious.

这些偏见都是无法避免的。

They can be directed at individuals and groups,

他们可能产生于个人， 也可能产生于集体，

他们也可能产生于我们自己。

and they can also be directed at ourselves.

And this way of thinking is known as fatphobia.

这种思维方式统称为肥胖恐惧症。

Like any form of systematic oppression,

就像社会中各种形式的 系统性的压制，

fatphobia is deeply rooted in complex structures

肥胖恐惧症深深根植 在这复杂的社会结构中，

like capitalism, patriarchy and racism,

就像资本主义、男权主义 和种族歧视，

这让它很难被意识到，

and that can make it really difficult to see,

let alone challenge.

更不用说要改变它了。

我们这个社会的文化，

We live in a culture

where being fat is seen as being a bad person --

告诉人们胖子都是坏人——

懒惰的，贪婪的， 不健康的，不负责任的人，

lazy, greedy, unhealthy, irresponsible

甚至行为不良。

and morally suspect.

And we tend to see thinness

我们还普遍认为，

瘦是一种美德 —

as being universally good --

负责任的，成功的，

responsible, successful,

能够控制自己的胃口，身体和生活。

and in control of our appetites, bodies and lives.

We see these ideas again and again

我们一次又一次的

in the media, in public health policy,

从媒体，医保政策和医院中

doctors' offices,

被灌输这些想法，

甚至在每天的谈天以及

in everyday conversations

and in our own attitudes.

我们自己的想法中也屡见不鲜。

We may even blame fat people themselves

我们还以貌取人，

for the discrimination they face

责备那些肥胖的人，

because, after all, if we don't like it, we should just lose weight.

毕竟，如果我们不喜欢肥胖， 我们只需要减肥，

非常简单。

Easy.

This antifat bias has become so integral, so ingrained

这反对肥胖的态度 在我们审视自己的过程中，

to how we value ourselves and each other

越来越完整，越来越根深蒂固。

that we rarely question why we have such contempt for people of size

我们很少会了解到， 我们能对人们的身材如此轻视，

and where that disdain comes from.

甚至不知道这种鄙视来自哪里。

But we must question it,

但我们需要质疑这种观念，

because the enormous value we place on how we look

因为我们对我们的外表看的太重，

这影响了我们每一个人。

affects every one of us.

我们真的想要这样的社会吗？

And do we really want to live in a society

where people are denied their basic humanity

人们对这种不理智的价值观极其买账，

if they don't subscribe to some arbitrary form of acceptable?

却否认了最基本的人性。

So when I was six years old,

当我六岁的时候，

my sister used to teach ballet to a bunch of little girls in our garage.

我姐姐在我们家的车库里 教一群孩子芭蕾。

I was about a foot taller and a foot wider than most of the group.

我大概比其他孩子 高一英尺，胖一英尺，

When it came to doing our first performance,

当我们第一次表演的时候，

I was so excited about wearing a pretty pink tutu.

我为能第一次穿上芭蕾舞裙 感到特别兴奋。

I was going to sparkle.

我以为自己可以成为耀眼的明星。

As the other girls slipped easily into their Lycra and tulle creations,

而当其他孩子轻松的穿上它们的时候，

not one of the tutus was big enough to fit me.

没有一件芭蕾舞裙装得下我。

I was determined not to be excluded from the performance,

我下决心一定要参加演出，

so I turned to my mother

于是我对着妈妈，

and loud enough for everyone to hear

用所有人能听到的音量说，

said, "Mom, I don't need a tutu.

“妈妈，我不要正常码的（音似22），

I need a fourfour."

我要一件大号的（音似44 ）。”

(Laughter)

（笑声）

Thanks, Mom.

谢谢你，妈妈。

（掌声）

(Applause)

And although I didn't recognize it at the time,

尽管我当时并没意识到，

穿着大号舞裙在舞台上发光，

claiming space for myself in that glorious fourfour

was the first step towards becoming a radical fat activist.

是我成为积极肥胖演说家的第一步。

我不是说在那堂课上，

Now, I'm not saying that this whole body-love thing

has been an easy skip along a glittering path of self-acceptance

我突然就福至心灵的学会了接受

自己的身体，

since that day in class.

Far from it.

远远不是那样。

I soon learned that living outside what the mainstream considers normal

我很快就从外界社会中， 了解到那让人感到绝望、孤独的

can be a frustrating and isolating place.

主流价值观。

I've spent the last 20 years unpacking and deprogramming these messages,

我用了二十年分析、理解这些偏见，

and it's been quite the roller coaster.

心境也随之起起落落。

I've been openly laughed at, abused from passing cars

我被公开的嘲笑过， 被过往车辆羞辱过，

and been told that I'm delusional.

还被人质疑我有幻想症。

I also receive smiles from strangers

但我也从陌生人那儿得到过微笑，

who recognize what it takes to walk down the street

那些人知道我走这条路需要勇气，

with a spring in your step and your head held high.

你需要昂首挺胸，充满活力。

(Cheer)

（欢呼声）

Thanks.

谢谢。

在这个过程中， 那个六岁时的勇敢时刻伴随着我，

And through it all, that fierce little six-year-old has stayed with me,

它给了我，一个丝毫不愧疚的胖子

and she has helped me stand before you today

站在你们面前的勇气，

as an unapologetic fat person,

也让我成为了一个 拒接接受社会主流对于

a person that simply refuses to subscribe

该如何运用

to the dominant narrative

about how I should move through the world in this body of mine.

我的身体的评价， 并为我的身体骄傲的女孩。

(Applause)

（掌声）

And I'm not alone.

我并不是孤军奋战。

I am part of an international community of people

我是一个全球性组织中的一员，

who choose to, rather than passively accepting

与其被动接受对自己身体的反感，

that our bodies are and probably always will be big,

我们选择了对自己身体的态度，

we actively choose to flourish in these bodies as they are today.

我们要在自己的身体里发光。

People who honor our strength and work with, not against,

我们为自己的力量骄傲，

our perceived limitations,

接受着，而并非挑战

people who value health

身体给予我们的限制，

as something much more holistic

比起BMI表上的一堆数字，

than a number on an outdated BMI chart.

我们更加全面的对待健康。

相对比，我们认为心理健康、自我价值、 对待自己身体的态度，

Instead, we value mental health, self-worth and how we feel in our bodies

是三件对于人生最重要的事情。

as vital aspects to our overall well-being.

People who refuse to believe that living in these fat bodies

我们拒绝认为肥胖是

is a barrier to anything, really.

通向任何地方的壁垒。

There are doctors, academics and bloggers

医生们，学者们，以及一些博主

who have written countless volumes

针对不同方面，

on the many facets of this complex subject.

写了很多关于这个复杂课题的文章。

There are fatshionistas who reclaim their bodies and their beauty

有些时尚的肥胖明星宣传着 他们的美，他们的身体，

by wearing fatkinis and crop tops,

穿着“肥基尼”和短款上衣，

exposing the flesh that we're all taught to hide.

让那些本应躲藏的肥肉暴露出来。

There are fat athletes

有一些肥胖的运动员，

who run marathons, teach yoga or do kickboxing,

他们跑马拉松， 当瑜伽教练，打拳击，

all done with a middle finger firmly held up to the status quo.

他们用行动向这种 社会理念竖起了中指。

And these people have taught me that radical body politics

这些人教会了我激进身体政治活动，

是自我身体羞耻文化的疫苗。

is the antidote to our body-shaming culture.

But to be clear, I'm not saying that people shouldn't change their bodies

需要澄清的是，我并不是要劝说 那些认为需要健身塑性的人

if that's what they want to do.

放弃这个想法。

Reclaiming yourself can be one of the most gorgeous acts of self-love

改造你自己可能是自爱 最棒的表达方式，

and can look like a million different things,

并且你有很多种方法，

from hairstyles to tattoos to body contouring

从发型到纹身，到身体的轮廓，

to hormones to surgery and yes, even weight loss.

激素调理或手术， 是的，甚至是减肥。

It's simple: it's your body,

这很简单，这是你自己的身体，

and you decide what's best to do with it.

由你来决定对自己做什么最好。

My way of engaging in activism

我参与到这种激进主义的方法是，

is by doing all the things that we fatties aren't supposed to do,

去做那些胖子不该做的事，

and there's a lot of them,

这样的事有很多，

inviting other people to join me and then making art about it.

我邀请人们加入， 然后一起创造艺术。

The common thread through most of this work

我们绝大多数作品的主线是

has been reclaiming spaces that are often prohibitive to bigger bodies,

开拓那些本不属于胖子的领域，

from the catwalk to club shows,

从走天桥到夜总会表演，

from public swimming pools to prominent dance stages.

从公共游泳池到显眼的舞台。

And reclaiming spaces en masse is not only a powerful artistic statement

重新占领这些领域并不仅仅是 一个艺术家的声明，

but a radical community-building approach.

也是一种建立社会的激进尝试。

你可以从“AQUAPORKO”感受到——

This was so true of "AQUAPORKO!" --

(Laughter)

（笑声）

the fat fem synchronized swim team

一个胖女人组成的花式游泳队，

I started with a group of friends in Sydney.

我和一群朋友在悉尼 建立起了这支队伍。

The impact of seeing a bunch of defiant fat women

这群肆无忌惮的胖女人，

in flowery swimming caps and bathers

穿着绚丽的游泳衣和游泳帽，

毫无顾忌地向空中踢腿，

throwing their legs in the air without a care

should not be underestimated.

她们的影响不容小觑。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

Throughout my career, I have learned that fat bodies are inherently political,

在我的职业生涯中，我意识到 肥胖的躯体有着天生的政治色彩，

而毫不愧疚的胖子们，

and unapologetic fat bodies

can blow people's minds.

可以让人们豁然开朗。

When director Kate Champion,

当饱受赞扬的剧场Force Majeure的

of acclaimed dance theater company Force Majeure,

导演Kate Champion

asked me to be the artistic associate

邀请我去做艺术指导，

on a work featuring all fat dancers,

指导一部描画肥胖的舞蹈作品，

I literally jumped at the opportunity.

我紧紧把握住了这次机会。

And I mean literally.

我是认真的。

"Nothing to Lose" is a work made in collaboration with performers of size

“毫无畏惧”利用各个演员的体态

who drew from their lived experiences

描述了他们的经历，

to create a work as varied and authentic as we all are.

创造了一部像我们一样 多元的，真实的作品。

它与你能想象到的芭蕾表演很不同，

And it was as far from ballet as you could imagine.

如此有名望的公司 创造这样一部作品的初衷，

The very idea of a fat dance work by such a prestigious company

was, to put it mildly, controversial,

简单来说就是，颠覆性的，

以前在世界各地从来没有这样的

because nothing like it had ever been done on mainstream dance stages before

主流舞台作品。

anywhere in the world.

People were skeptical.

人们的态度充满质疑。

"What do you mean, 'fat dancers?'

“肥胖的舞者是什么意思？”

Like, size 10, size 12 kind of fat?

10码，12码的那种胖吗？

Where did they do their dance training?

他们在哪里接受的舞蹈训练？

Are they going to have the stamina for a full-length production?"

他们有那样的精力去完成一部 完整的表演吗？

But despite the skepticism,

尽管有各种怀疑，

"Nothing to Lose" became a sellout hit of Sydney Festival.

“毫无畏惧” 却在悉尼音乐节非常卖座。

We received rave reviews, toured,

我们得到了热烈的赞美， 进行了巡演，

won awards and were written about in over 27 languages.

拿了奖，我们的表演还被 翻译成27种语言进行报道。

These incredible images of our cast were seen worldwide.

这些舞台照传遍了世界各地。

I've lost count of how many times people of all sizes

我不记得有多少次， 各种体型的人们告诉我，

这个表演改变了他们的生活，

have told me that the show has changed their lives,

改变了他们看待自己身体、

how it helped them shift their relationship

他人身体的方式，

to their own and other people's bodies,

and how it made them confront their own bias.

让他们直视来自自己的偏见。

But of course, work that pushes people's buttons

但当然了， 这样给人们以警醒的作品，

is not without its detractors.

少不了贬低者。

I have been told that I'm glorifying obesity.

我被形容为不健康饮食的宣传者，

I have received violent death threats

我接受到过充满敌意的死亡威胁，

and abuse for daring to make work that centers fat people's bodies and lives

被误解成做以胖子为中心，

and treats us as worthwhile human beings with valuable stories to tell.

不顾及其他人有意义的生活的艺术。

我甚至还被称作

I've even been called

"the ISIS of the obesity epidemic" --

“不健康饮食恐怖主义者”——

(Laughter)

（笑声）

a comment so absurd that it is funny.

这个评论非常荒谬，很可笑。

但它也直接与那种恐慌，

But it also speaks to the panic,

the literal terror,

真实的恐惧对话，

that the fear of fat can evoke.

人们对肥胖的恐惧正是由此产生。

It is this fear that's feeding the diet industry,

就是这种恐惧滋养着减肥产业，

那些让我们厌恶自己身体的产业，

which is keeping so many of us from making peace with our own bodies,

for waiting to be the after-photo

还有那些不愿接受真正的自己

想要成为“疗效后”的人们。

before we truly start to live our lives.

Because the real elephant in the room here is fatphobia.

因为屋子里真正显眼的大象， 是肥胖恐惧者。

Fat activism refuses to indulge this fear.

肥胖激进主义拒绝纵容这种恐惧。

By advocating for self-determination and respect for all of us,

我们主张自我定义， 尊重所有人，

we can shift society's reluctance to embrace diversity

我们可以让有抵触情绪的社会 去接受这样的多元化，

and start to celebrate the myriad ways there are to have a body.

开始庆祝拥有身体的无数种形式。

Thank you.

谢谢。

(Applause)

（掌声）