Take "the Other" to lunch | Elizabeth Lesser

翻译人员: Angelia King 校对人员: Andrea Feng

This room may appear to be holding 600 people,

这个会场看起来

能容纳600人，

but there's actually so many more,

但事实上这里却有更多人，

because within each one of us, there is a multitude of personalities.

因为我们中的每一个人

都有多重性格。

I have two primary personalities

从我还是个小女孩时起，我就有两个主要性格。

that have been in conflict and conversation within me

这两个性格在我体内

不断有冲突与对话。

since I was a little girl.

I call them "the mystic" and "the warrior."

我把它们称为“神秘者”

和“战士”。

I was born into a family of politically active intellectual atheists.

我出身于一个

在政治上十分活跃

并信仰无神论的知识分子家庭。

There was this equation in my family that went something like this:

在我家有这样一个公式：

if you are intelligent,

如果你有才智，

you therefore are not spiritual.

那么你就不会是个精神丰富的人。

I was the freak of the family.

我是家里的怪人。

I was this weird little kid

我是一个奇特的小孩，

who wanted to have deep talks about the worlds that might exist

我想与

可能存在的另一个世界展开深入对话，

beyond the ones we perceive with our senses.

它超越了我们所能感知到的这个世界。

I wanted to know

我想知道

if what we human beings see and hear and think

我们人类所看到、

听到和想到的，

is a full and accurate picture of reality.

是不是与事物的真相

一模一样。

So, looking for answers,

为了寻找答案，

I went to Catholic mass; I tagged along with my neighbors.

我做过天主教弥撒；

我尾随过我的邻居；

I read Sartre and Socrates.

我读过萨特和苏格拉底。

当我上高中时，

And then a wonderful thing happened when I was in high school:

一件神奇的事情发生了：

gurus from the East started washing up on the shores of America.

东方的精神导师

开始席卷美国沿岸。

(Laughter)

我对自己说，

And I said to myself, "I wanna get me one of them."

“我想成为他们中的一员。”

(Laughter)

自从那以后，

And ever since, I've been walking the mystic path,

我一直在神秘的道路上行进，

trying to peer beyond what Albert Einstein called

努力摆脱

爱因斯坦所说的

the "optical delusion" of everyday consciousness.

“日常生活中的

错觉幻象。”

So what did he mean by this?

他这是指什么呢？让我展示给你。

I'll show you.

Take a breath right now of this clear air in this room.

请呼吸，

吸入房间里的新鲜空气。

Now, see this strange,

现在，看到这个奇怪的，

underwater-coral-reef-looking thing?

生活在水下，

看上去像是珊瑚礁的东西了吗？

It's actually a person's trachea.

这其实是人的气管。

And those colored globs are microbes

而这些彩色水珠

实际上是微生物，

that are actually swimming around in this room right now,

它们现在就在这房间里，

就在我们周围。

all around us.

If we're blind to this simple biology,

如果我们对这种基础的生物学一无所知，

imagine what we're missing at the smallest subatomic level right now

想想看我们会错过多少

在最微小的亚原子间

和在最壮观的宇宙间的发现。

and at the grandest cosmic levels.

My years as a mystic have made me question almost all my assumptions.

我作为一个神秘者的岁月

几乎使我对自己所有的假设

都产生了疑问。

They've made me a proud "I-don't-know-it-all."

它们让我勇于承认自己的无知。

Now, when the mystic part of me jabbers on and on like this,

当我身上的神秘部分

含糊地这么说时，

the warrior rolls her eyes.

战士翻了一下眼睛。

She's concerned about what's happening in this world right now.

她现在关心

这世上发生的事。

She's worried.

她很担忧。

She says, "Excuse me, I'm pissed off,

她说，“对不起，我很生气，

and I know a few things,

我知道一些事，

and we better get busy about them right now."

现在我们最好忙于此事。”

I've spent my life as a warrior,

我到目前为止都是一个战士，

working for women's issues,

为妇女权利而努力，

从事政治活动，

working on political campaigns,

being an activist for the environment.

成为一名保护环境的积极分子。

这可能有点疯狂，

And it can be sort of crazymaking,

housing both the mystic and the warrior in one body.

让神秘者和战士同时存在

于我的身体内。

I've always been attracted to those rare people

我一直被那些

杰出人物所吸引。

who pull that off,

他们把自己的一生

who devote their lives to humanity

都奉献给人道事业，

with the grit of the warrior and the grace of the mystic --

并能集战士的毅力

和神秘者的魅力于一身。

像马丁·路德·金，

people like Martin Luther King, Jr.,

他写道，“我永远无法成为

who wrote, "I can never be what I ought to be

我要成为的人，

直到你成为了

until you are what you ought to be."

你想要成为的人。

"This," he wrote, "is the interrelated structure of reality."

这就是真理之间

相互关联的结构。“

Then Mother Teresa, another mystic warrior, who said,

又例如特雷莎修女，另一个神秘家兼战士，

她说，“这个世界上的问题

"The problem with the world is that we draw the circle of our family

是我们对家人的定义

too small."

太小了。”

And Nelson Mandela, who lives by the African concept of "ubuntu,"

又比如纳尔逊·曼德拉，

他一直都信奉

非洲的Ubuntu概念，

which means "I need you in order to be me,

意思是我需要你

才能成为我，

and you need me in order to be you."

你也需要我来完善你自己。

Now, we all love to trot out these three mystic warriors

我们所有人都爱拿

这三个神秘者兼战士举例，

好像他们自出生

as if they were born with a "saint" gene.

就带有圣徒的印记。

But we all actually have the same capacity that they do.

但是事实上我们每个人都有

和他们一样的能力，

And we need to do their work now.

我们现在需要

继续他们的工作。

I'm deeply disturbed

我对于通过

by the ways in which all of our cultures are demonizing "the other,"

我们自身的文化来妖魔化那些

与己不同的文化而深感不安，

by the voice we're giving to the most divisive among us.

我们恶语相向，

在我们之中造成最大的分歧。

Listen to these titles of some of the best-selling books

听听这些

畅销书的书名，

from both sides of the political divide

它们来自美国政治立场

here in the US:

的两方面。

"Liberalism is a Mental Disorder,"

《自由主义是一种精神缺陷》

"Rush Limbaugh is a Big Fat Idiot,"

《拉什·林堡是个大白痴》

"Pinheads and Patriots,"

《笨蛋与爱国者》

"Arguing with Idiots."

《与白痴争论》

They're supposedly tongue-in-cheek,

它们大概是挖苦人的，

but they're actually dangerous.

但这么说却很危险。

Now here's a title that may sound familiar,

下面这个书名听上去或许觉得耳熟，

but whose author may surprise you:

但它的作者可能会把你吓一跳：

"Four and a Half Years of Struggle Against Lies,

《对抗谎言、愚蠢

和胆怯

Stupidity and Cowardice."

的四年半》

Who wrote that?

这是谁写的？

That was Adolf Hitler's first title for "Mein Kampf" -- "My Struggle" --

这是阿道夫·希特勒

《我的奋斗》的最初书名，

the book that launched the Nazi Party.

一本由纳粹党发行的书。

The worst eras in human history,

人类历史上最糟糕的年代，

whether in Cambodia or Germany or Rwanda --

无论是在柬埔寨、德国

或者卢旺达，

they start like this, with negative otherizing.

都是通过丑化异见人士而开始。

这之后就会升级

And then they morph into violent extremism.

成为暴力的极端主义。

This is why I'm launching a new initiative.

这也是我有一个新举动的原因。

And it's to help all of us, myself included,

它对我们所有人都有益处，

包括我自己，

to counteract the tendency to otherize.

它可以抵消我们

排斥异见者的趋势。

And I realize we're all busy people,

我意识到我们都是非常忙的人，

so don't worry, you can do this on a lunch break.

所以不必担心，你可以在午休时做这件事。

I'm calling my initiative "Take the Other to Lunch."

我把这个举动称为

“与异见者共进午餐”。

If you are a Republican,

如果你是

一个共和党人，

你可以和一个民主党人一起吃午饭；

you can take a Democrat to lunch.

Or if you're a Democrat,

又比如说

think of it as taking a Republican to lunch.

你是个民主党人，

那就和一个共和党人一起吃午饭吧。

Now, if the idea of taking any of these people to lunch

如果和这些人一起吃午饭的想法

makes you lose your appetite,

会使你失去胃口，

(Laughter)

I suggest you start more local,

我建议你从身旁的人开始，

because there is no shortage of the other right in your own neighborhood:

因为你的左邻右舍中并不缺少

和你意见不同的人。

maybe that person who worships at the mosque

或许是一个

在清真寺做礼拜的人；

or the church or the synagogue down the street;

或许是一个基督徒或犹太教徒；

or someone from the other side of the abortion conflict;

或许那个人和你

对于堕胎持有不同意见；

or maybe your brother-in-law who doesn't believe in global warming --

甚至可能是你姐姐的那位

不相信全球变暖的丈夫；

(Laughter)

anyone whose lifestyle may frighten you

或者一个与你的生活方式截然不同的人；

or whose point of view makes smoke come out of your ears.

或者是一个人，他的观点

让你听了后会怒不可遏。

A couple of weeks ago,

几个星期前，

I took a conservative Tea Party woman to lunch.

我与一个参加茶话会的保守党女人共进午餐。

Now, on paper, she passed my "smoking ears" test:

从表面上看，她的观点会让我怒不可遏。

(Laughter)

she's an activist from the Right,

她是一个右翼活动家，

and I'm an activist from the Left.

而我是一个左翼活动家。

We used some guidelines to keep our conversation elevated.

我们使用一些原则

使得我们的对话进行下去，

你也可以使用它们，

And you can use them, too,

because I know you're all going to take an other to lunch.

因为我知道大家都会

与持有不同观点的人共进午餐。

So first of all, decide on a goal:

首先，确定一个目标：

to get to know one person from a group you may have negatively stereotyped.

那就是要去了解一个人，

并且你对他所在的团体有成见。

And then, before you get together,

然后，在你们见面之前，

agree on some ground rules.

就这些基本原则达成一致。

My Tea Party lunch mate and I came up with these:

我的午饭伙伴和我

一同想出这些原则：

不要试图说服、捍卫

"Don't persuade, defend or interrupt;

或者中途打断。

be curious, be conversational, be real;

要保有好奇，

要有真诚的交流，

and listen."

要聆听。

达成一致后，我们用下面几个问题

From there, we dove in, and we used these questions:

开始深入交流：

"Share some of your life experiences with me --

请和我分享一些你的生活经历。

what issues deeply concern you?

你最关注

哪些事件？

And what have you always wanted to ask someone from the other side?"

你一直想从与你不同的人

身上了解什么？

My lunch partner and I came away with some really important insights,

我和我午饭伙伴

得出一些重要的启示，

我想和大家分享其中的一个。

and I'm going to share just one with you.

I think it has relevance to any problem between people anywhere.

我想这个观点

与人们之间的问题

无论何时何地都有关联。

I asked her why her side makes such outrageous allegations and lies

我问她为什么她所在的阵营

对我们进行无理的指控

以及编造谎言。

about my side.

"What?" she wanted to know.

她想知道具体的例子。

"Like, we're a bunch of elitist, morally corrupt terrorist-lovers."

“好像我们是一群

道德败坏

爱好恐怖主义的精英。”

Well, she was shocked.

她相当震惊。

She thought my side beat up on her side way more often --

她认为是我们

更经常地抨击他们。

比如我们称他们为无脑的

that we called them brainless, gun-toting racists.

持枪种族主义者。

And we both marveled at the labels

我们都惊讶于

这些标签

that fit none of the people we actually know.

不适用于

我们认识的任何一个人。

And since we had established some trust,

因为我们已建立起某种信任，

we believed in each other's sincerity.

我们相信彼此的真诚。

We agreed we'd speak up in our own communities

我们都同意当下次

when we witnessed the kind of "otherizing" talk

在自己所在的阵营里听到

可能造成伤害或过于偏执

that can wound and fester into paranoia

甚至被别有用心的人利用

进而煽动人群的排他言论时，

我们要出言制止

and then be used by those on the fringes

to incite.

这种情况。

在我们的午餐结束时，

By the end of our lunch, we acknowledged each other's openness.

我们感谢彼此的坦诚。

Neither of us had tried to change the other,

我们谁也不试图去改变对方。

but we also hadn't pretended

但我们也不必假装

that our differences were just going to melt away

彼此间的差异会随着午餐而

after a lunch.

消失不见。

Instead, we had taken first steps together,

相反，我们一同

迈出了第一步，

突破我们的下意识反应，

past our knee-jerk reactions

来到一个Ubuntu的境界，

to the ubuntu place,

which is the only place

只有这样，

我们才能找到

where solutions to our most intractable-seeming problems

解决表面上最棘手的问题

的方法。

will be found.

那么你会和谁共进午餐呢？

So who should you invite to lunch?

Next time you catch yourself in the act of otherizing,

下一次当你碰到

某种排他行为时，

that'll be your clue.

那会是一个提示。

And what might happen at your lunch?

在你午饭时会发生什么？

Will the heavens open

天堂会敞开吗？

and "We are the World" play over the restaurant sound system?

音响里会传来“四海一家”的音乐吗？

Probably not.

很可能不会。

Because ubuntu work is slow, and it's difficult.

因为Ubuntu的进程十分缓慢，

并且很难。

It's two people dropping the pretense of being know-it-alls.

要有两个人

解除无所不知

的伪装；

It's two people, two warriors, dropping their weapons

要有两个人，

两个战士，

放下他们的武器

and reaching toward each other.

彼此互相接近。

Here's how the great Persian poet Rumi put it:

伟大的波斯诗人鲁米是这么说的：

“超越思想上的

"Out beyond ideas of wrong-doing and right-doing,

坏与好，

there is a field.

有一片天地，

I'll meet you there."

你我将会相遇。”

（掌声）

(Applause)