Take "the Other" to lunch | Elizabeth Lesser

213,414 views ・ 2011-01-14

TED


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翻译人员: Angelia King 校对人员: Andrea Feng
00:15
This room may appear to be holding 600 people,
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这个会场看起来
能容纳600人,
00:19
but there's actually so many more,
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但事实上这里却有更多人,
00:21
because within each one of us, there is a multitude of personalities.
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因为我们中的每一个人
都有多重性格。
00:26
I have two primary personalities
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从我还是个小女孩时起,我就有两个主要性格。
00:29
that have been in conflict and conversation within me
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这两个性格在我体内
不断有冲突与对话。
00:32
since I was a little girl.
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00:33
I call them "the mystic" and "the warrior."
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我把它们称为“神秘者”
和“战士”。
00:37
I was born into a family of politically active intellectual atheists.
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我出身于一个
在政治上十分活跃
并信仰无神论的知识分子家庭。
00:43
There was this equation in my family that went something like this:
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在我家有这样一个公式:
00:46
if you are intelligent,
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如果你有才智,
00:48
you therefore are not spiritual.
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那么你就不会是个精神丰富的人。
00:51
I was the freak of the family.
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我是家里的怪人。
00:53
I was this weird little kid
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我是一个奇特的小孩,
00:55
who wanted to have deep talks about the worlds that might exist
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我想与
可能存在的另一个世界展开深入对话,
01:00
beyond the ones we perceive with our senses.
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它超越了我们所能感知到的这个世界。
01:03
I wanted to know
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我想知道
01:05
if what we human beings see and hear and think
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我们人类所看到、
听到和想到的,
01:10
is a full and accurate picture of reality.
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是不是与事物的真相
一模一样。
01:14
So, looking for answers,
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为了寻找答案,
01:16
I went to Catholic mass; I tagged along with my neighbors.
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我做过天主教弥撒;
我尾随过我的邻居;
01:20
I read Sartre and Socrates.
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我读过萨特和苏格拉底。
当我上高中时,
01:23
And then a wonderful thing happened when I was in high school:
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一件神奇的事情发生了:
01:26
gurus from the East started washing up on the shores of America.
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东方的精神导师
开始席卷美国沿岸。
01:31
(Laughter)
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我对自己说,
01:32
And I said to myself, "I wanna get me one of them."
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“我想成为他们中的一员。”
01:34
(Laughter)
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自从那以后,
01:36
And ever since, I've been walking the mystic path,
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我一直在神秘的道路上行进,
01:40
trying to peer beyond what Albert Einstein called
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努力摆脱
爱因斯坦所说的
01:44
the "optical delusion" of everyday consciousness.
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“日常生活中的
错觉幻象。”
01:49
So what did he mean by this?
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他这是指什么呢?让我展示给你。
01:51
I'll show you.
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01:52
Take a breath right now of this clear air in this room.
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请呼吸,
吸入房间里的新鲜空气。
01:58
Now, see this strange,
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现在,看到这个奇怪的,
02:01
underwater-coral-reef-looking thing?
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生活在水下,
看上去像是珊瑚礁的东西了吗?
02:06
It's actually a person's trachea.
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这其实是人的气管。
02:09
And those colored globs are microbes
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而这些彩色水珠
实际上是微生物,
02:13
that are actually swimming around in this room right now,
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它们现在就在这房间里,
就在我们周围。
02:16
all around us.
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02:18
If we're blind to this simple biology,
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如果我们对这种基础的生物学一无所知,
02:21
imagine what we're missing at the smallest subatomic level right now
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想想看我们会错过多少
在最微小的亚原子间
和在最壮观的宇宙间的发现。
02:28
and at the grandest cosmic levels.
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02:30
My years as a mystic have made me question almost all my assumptions.
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我作为一个神秘者的岁月
几乎使我对自己所有的假设
都产生了疑问。
02:37
They've made me a proud "I-don't-know-it-all."
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它们让我勇于承认自己的无知。
02:41
Now, when the mystic part of me jabbers on and on like this,
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当我身上的神秘部分
含糊地这么说时,
02:45
the warrior rolls her eyes.
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战士翻了一下眼睛。
02:48
She's concerned about what's happening in this world right now.
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她现在关心
这世上发生的事。
02:55
She's worried.
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她很担忧。
02:57
She says, "Excuse me, I'm pissed off,
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她说,“对不起,我很生气,
03:00
and I know a few things,
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我知道一些事,
03:02
and we better get busy about them right now."
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现在我们最好忙于此事。”
03:04
I've spent my life as a warrior,
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我到目前为止都是一个战士,
03:06
working for women's issues,
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为妇女权利而努力,
从事政治活动,
03:09
working on political campaigns,
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03:11
being an activist for the environment.
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成为一名保护环境的积极分子。
这可能有点疯狂,
03:15
And it can be sort of crazymaking,
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03:17
housing both the mystic and the warrior in one body.
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让神秘者和战士同时存在
于我的身体内。
03:21
I've always been attracted to those rare people
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我一直被那些
杰出人物所吸引。
03:26
who pull that off,
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他们把自己的一生
03:27
who devote their lives to humanity
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都奉献给人道事业,
03:30
with the grit of the warrior and the grace of the mystic --
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并能集战士的毅力
和神秘者的魅力于一身。
像马丁·路德·金,
03:36
people like Martin Luther King, Jr.,
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他写道,“我永远无法成为
03:39
who wrote, "I can never be what I ought to be
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我要成为的人,
直到你成为了
03:43
until you are what you ought to be."
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你想要成为的人。
03:46
"This," he wrote, "is the interrelated structure of reality."
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这就是真理之间
相互关联的结构。“
03:51
Then Mother Teresa, another mystic warrior, who said,
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又例如特雷莎修女,另一个神秘家兼战士,
她说,“这个世界上的问题
03:56
"The problem with the world is that we draw the circle of our family
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是我们对家人的定义
04:00
too small."
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太小了。”
04:02
And Nelson Mandela, who lives by the African concept of "ubuntu,"
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又比如纳尔逊·曼德拉,
他一直都信奉
非洲的Ubuntu概念,
04:08
which means "I need you in order to be me,
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意思是我需要你
才能成为我,
04:12
and you need me in order to be you."
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你也需要我来完善你自己。
04:15
Now, we all love to trot out these three mystic warriors
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我们所有人都爱拿
这三个神秘者兼战士举例,
好像他们自出生
04:20
as if they were born with a "saint" gene.
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就带有圣徒的印记。
04:23
But we all actually have the same capacity that they do.
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但是事实上我们每个人都有
和他们一样的能力,
04:28
And we need to do their work now.
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我们现在需要
继续他们的工作。
04:32
I'm deeply disturbed
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我对于通过
04:34
by the ways in which all of our cultures are demonizing "the other,"
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我们自身的文化来妖魔化那些
与己不同的文化而深感不安,
04:40
by the voice we're giving to the most divisive among us.
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我们恶语相向,
在我们之中造成最大的分歧。
04:45
Listen to these titles of some of the best-selling books
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听听这些
畅销书的书名,
04:49
from both sides of the political divide
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它们来自美国政治立场
04:51
here in the US:
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的两方面。
04:53
"Liberalism is a Mental Disorder,"
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《自由主义是一种精神缺陷》
04:56
"Rush Limbaugh is a Big Fat Idiot,"
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《拉什·林堡是个大白痴》
04:59
"Pinheads and Patriots,"
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《笨蛋与爱国者》
05:02
"Arguing with Idiots."
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《与白痴争论》
05:04
They're supposedly tongue-in-cheek,
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它们大概是挖苦人的,
05:06
but they're actually dangerous.
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但这么说却很危险。
05:09
Now here's a title that may sound familiar,
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下面这个书名听上去或许觉得耳熟,
05:11
but whose author may surprise you:
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但它的作者可能会把你吓一跳:
05:14
"Four and a Half Years of Struggle Against Lies,
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《对抗谎言、愚蠢
和胆怯
05:17
Stupidity and Cowardice."
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的四年半》
05:20
Who wrote that?
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这是谁写的?
05:21
That was Adolf Hitler's first title for "Mein Kampf" -- "My Struggle" --
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这是阿道夫·希特勒
《我的奋斗》的最初书名,
05:27
the book that launched the Nazi Party.
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一本由纳粹党发行的书。
05:30
The worst eras in human history,
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人类历史上最糟糕的年代,
05:32
whether in Cambodia or Germany or Rwanda --
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无论是在柬埔寨、德国
或者卢旺达,
05:36
they start like this, with negative otherizing.
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都是通过丑化异见人士而开始。
这之后就会升级
05:40
And then they morph into violent extremism.
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成为暴力的极端主义。
05:44
This is why I'm launching a new initiative.
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这也是我有一个新举动的原因。
05:47
And it's to help all of us, myself included,
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它对我们所有人都有益处,
包括我自己,
05:52
to counteract the tendency to otherize.
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它可以抵消我们
排斥异见者的趋势。
05:56
And I realize we're all busy people,
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我意识到我们都是非常忙的人,
05:59
so don't worry, you can do this on a lunch break.
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所以不必担心,你可以在午休时做这件事。
06:02
I'm calling my initiative "Take the Other to Lunch."
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我把这个举动称为
“与异见者共进午餐”。
06:07
If you are a Republican,
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如果你是
一个共和党人,
你可以和一个民主党人一起吃午饭;
06:12
you can take a Democrat to lunch.
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06:14
Or if you're a Democrat,
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又比如说
06:17
think of it as taking a Republican to lunch.
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你是个民主党人,
那就和一个共和党人一起吃午饭吧。
06:21
Now, if the idea of taking any of these people to lunch
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如果和这些人一起吃午饭的想法
06:24
makes you lose your appetite,
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会使你失去胃口,
06:26
(Laughter)
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06:27
I suggest you start more local,
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我建议你从身旁的人开始,
06:30
because there is no shortage of the other right in your own neighborhood:
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因为你的左邻右舍中并不缺少
和你意见不同的人。
06:36
maybe that person who worships at the mosque
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或许是一个
在清真寺做礼拜的人;
06:40
or the church or the synagogue down the street;
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或许是一个基督徒或犹太教徒;
06:43
or someone from the other side of the abortion conflict;
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或许那个人和你
对于堕胎持有不同意见;
06:48
or maybe your brother-in-law who doesn't believe in global warming --
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甚至可能是你姐姐的那位
不相信全球变暖的丈夫;
06:52
(Laughter)
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06:53
anyone whose lifestyle may frighten you
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或者一个与你的生活方式截然不同的人;
06:58
or whose point of view makes smoke come out of your ears.
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或者是一个人,他的观点
让你听了后会怒不可遏。
07:04
A couple of weeks ago,
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几个星期前,
07:06
I took a conservative Tea Party woman to lunch.
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我与一个参加茶话会的保守党女人共进午餐。
07:11
Now, on paper, she passed my "smoking ears" test:
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从表面上看,她的观点会让我怒不可遏。
07:14
(Laughter)
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07:15
she's an activist from the Right,
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她是一个右翼活动家,
07:17
and I'm an activist from the Left.
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而我是一个左翼活动家。
07:21
We used some guidelines to keep our conversation elevated.
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我们使用一些原则
使得我们的对话进行下去,
你也可以使用它们,
07:26
And you can use them, too,
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07:27
because I know you're all going to take an other to lunch.
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因为我知道大家都会
与持有不同观点的人共进午餐。
07:31
So first of all, decide on a goal:
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首先,确定一个目标:
07:34
to get to know one person from a group you may have negatively stereotyped.
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那就是要去了解一个人,
并且你对他所在的团体有成见。
07:41
And then, before you get together,
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然后,在你们见面之前,
07:43
agree on some ground rules.
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就这些基本原则达成一致。
07:45
My Tea Party lunch mate and I came up with these:
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我的午饭伙伴和我
一同想出这些原则:
不要试图说服、捍卫
07:51
"Don't persuade, defend or interrupt;
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或者中途打断。
07:54
be curious, be conversational, be real;
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要保有好奇,
要有真诚的交流,
07:58
and listen."
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要聆听。
达成一致后,我们用下面几个问题
08:01
From there, we dove in, and we used these questions:
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开始深入交流:
08:04
"Share some of your life experiences with me --
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请和我分享一些你的生活经历。
08:07
what issues deeply concern you?
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你最关注
哪些事件?
08:11
And what have you always wanted to ask someone from the other side?"
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你一直想从与你不同的人
身上了解什么?
08:16
My lunch partner and I came away with some really important insights,
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我和我午饭伙伴
得出一些重要的启示,
我想和大家分享其中的一个。
08:21
and I'm going to share just one with you.
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08:23
I think it has relevance to any problem between people anywhere.
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我想这个观点
与人们之间的问题
无论何时何地都有关联。
08:29
I asked her why her side makes such outrageous allegations and lies
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我问她为什么她所在的阵营
对我们进行无理的指控
以及编造谎言。
08:36
about my side.
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08:37
"What?" she wanted to know.
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她想知道具体的例子。
08:39
"Like, we're a bunch of elitist, morally corrupt terrorist-lovers."
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“好像我们是一群
道德败坏
爱好恐怖主义的精英。”
08:45
Well, she was shocked.
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她相当震惊。
08:47
She thought my side beat up on her side way more often --
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她认为是我们
更经常地抨击他们。
比如我们称他们为无脑的
08:53
that we called them brainless, gun-toting racists.
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持枪种族主义者。
08:57
And we both marveled at the labels
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我们都惊讶于
这些标签
09:00
that fit none of the people we actually know.
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不适用于
我们认识的任何一个人。
09:05
And since we had established some trust,
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因为我们已建立起某种信任,
09:07
we believed in each other's sincerity.
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我们相信彼此的真诚。
09:11
We agreed we'd speak up in our own communities
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我们都同意当下次
09:14
when we witnessed the kind of "otherizing" talk
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在自己所在的阵营里听到
可能造成伤害或过于偏执
09:18
that can wound and fester into paranoia
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甚至被别有用心的人利用
进而煽动人群的排他言论时,
我们要出言制止
09:23
and then be used by those on the fringes
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09:25
to incite.
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这种情况。
在我们的午餐结束时,
09:28
By the end of our lunch, we acknowledged each other's openness.
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我们感谢彼此的坦诚。
09:31
Neither of us had tried to change the other,
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我们谁也不试图去改变对方。
09:34
but we also hadn't pretended
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但我们也不必假装
09:37
that our differences were just going to melt away
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彼此间的差异会随着午餐而
09:40
after a lunch.
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消失不见。
09:45
Instead, we had taken first steps together,
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相反,我们一同
迈出了第一步,
突破我们的下意识反应,
09:50
past our knee-jerk reactions
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来到一个Ubuntu的境界,
09:52
to the ubuntu place,
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09:53
which is the only place
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只有这样,
我们才能找到
09:56
where solutions to our most intractable-seeming problems
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解决表面上最棘手的问题
的方法。
10:02
will be found.
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那么你会和谁共进午餐呢?
10:04
So who should you invite to lunch?
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10:06
Next time you catch yourself in the act of otherizing,
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下一次当你碰到
某种排他行为时,
10:10
that'll be your clue.
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那会是一个提示。
10:12
And what might happen at your lunch?
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在你午饭时会发生什么?
10:15
Will the heavens open
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天堂会敞开吗?
10:16
and "We are the World" play over the restaurant sound system?
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音响里会传来“四海一家”的音乐吗?
10:20
Probably not.
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很可能不会。
10:22
Because ubuntu work is slow, and it's difficult.
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因为Ubuntu的进程十分缓慢,
并且很难。
10:26
It's two people dropping the pretense of being know-it-alls.
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要有两个人
解除无所不知
的伪装;
10:32
It's two people, two warriors, dropping their weapons
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要有两个人,
两个战士,
放下他们的武器
10:38
and reaching toward each other.
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彼此互相接近。
10:41
Here's how the great Persian poet Rumi put it:
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伟大的波斯诗人鲁米是这么说的:
“超越思想上的
10:46
"Out beyond ideas of wrong-doing and right-doing,
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坏与好,
10:51
there is a field.
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有一片天地,
10:53
I'll meet you there."
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你我将会相遇。”
(掌声)
10:56
(Applause)
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