Take "the Other" to lunch | Elizabeth Lesser

譯者: Wang-Ju Tsai 審譯者: Sunny Kan Ngai Hang

This room may appear to be holding 600 people,

這個禮堂看起來

可以容納600個人

but there's actually so many more,

但事實上可以更多

because within each one of us, there is a multitude of personalities.

因爲我們每一個人裏面

都有不止一個的我（性格）。

I have two primary personalities

我有兩個主要的性格

that have been in conflict and conversation within me

從我還是小女孩的時候

這兩個性格就常在我内心裏相互衝突和對話

since I was a little girl.

I call them "the mystic" and "the warrior."

我把這兩個性格一個叫“神秘家”

一個叫“戰士”

I was born into a family of politically active intellectual atheists.

我從小生在一個

在政治上活躍

無神論的家庭裏。

There was this equation in my family that went something like this:

家裏有以下的認知：

if you are intelligent,

你如果有智慧

you therefore are not spiritual.

那你就不該相信靈性的東西。

I was the freak of the family.

我是家裏的怪胎

I was this weird little kid

我是一個怪小孩

who wanted to have deep talks about the worlds that might exist

喜歡深入地探討

這個我們感觸不到

beyond the ones we perceive with our senses.

但是可能存在的世界。

I wanted to know

我想知道

if what we human beings see and hear and think

我們人類

所看所聼所想的

is a full and accurate picture of reality.

是不是跟事實的真相

一模一樣？

So, looking for answers,

爲了找尋答案

I went to Catholic mass; I tagged along with my neighbors.

我去了參加天主教的彌撒

我跟著我的鄰居一起去的。

I read Sartre and Socrates.

我讀沙特和蘇格拉底。

後來發生了一件美妙的事：

And then a wonderful thing happened when I was in high school:

在我高中的時候

gurus from the East started washing up on the shores of America.

從東方來的精神導師

開始來到了美國。

(Laughter)

我跟我自己說

And I said to myself, "I wanna get me one of them."

“我也想跟一個導師學習。”

(Laughter)

從此以後

And ever since, I've been walking the mystic path,

我就走上探索神秘靈性的道路

trying to peer beyond what Albert Einstein called

試著去窺探

超越那個愛因斯坦所謂的

the "optical delusion" of everyday consciousness.

“日常生活意識的

光學幻象”。

So what did he mean by this?

他這麽說是什麽意思？接下來我會告訴你

I'll show you.

Take a breath right now of this clear air in this room.

大家先吸一口

這禮堂裏清淨的空氣。

Now, see this strange,

現在，看看這裡這個奇怪的

underwater-coral-reef-looking thing?

像是水底下

珊瑚礁的東西？

It's actually a person's trachea.

這事實上是人的氣管末梢分支。

And those colored globs are microbes

還有這些彩色的像泥巴的東西

是微生物

that are actually swimming around in this room right now,

他們懸浮在空氣間

此時此刻，就在我們的身邊。

all around us.

If we're blind to this simple biology,

如果光對這簡單的生物學我們都看不出來

imagine what we're missing at the smallest subatomic level right now

那麽去想想

在最小的原子和最大的宇宙之間

我們看不到的東西有多少？

and at the grandest cosmic levels.

My years as a mystic have made me question almost all my assumptions.

我追尋靈性的過程中

讓我對所有的假設

都產生疑問。

They've made me a proud "I-don't-know-it-all."

這些年來我對我的“不全然知道”挺感驕傲。

Now, when the mystic part of me jabbers on and on like this,

當那個神秘家的我

像這樣滔滔不絕地講個不完的時候

the warrior rolls her eyes.

戰士的我會（聼不下去）看別的地方。

She's concerned about what's happening in this world right now.

她很關心

現時當下的世間發生的大小事。

She's worried.

她很擔心

She says, "Excuse me, I'm pissed off,

她說，“對不起，我很不高興

and I know a few things,

我是知道一些事的，

and we better get busy about them right now."

而且我們最好現在就認真地來處理這些事。”

I've spent my life as a warrior,

我這一輩子活得像一個戰士

working for women's issues,

為女性議題來奮戰

從事政治活動

working on political campaigns,

being an activist for the environment.

也還是環保運動的活躍分子。

在我的體内

And it can be sort of crazymaking,

housing both the mystic and the warrior in one body.

有神祕家和戰士共存

這看起來是聼瘋狂的。

I've always been attracted to those rare people

有少數的特種個性的人

深深地吸引著我

who pull that off,

這種人能在競賽中勝出，

who devote their lives to humanity

將他們的生命奉獻給人類

with the grit of the warrior and the grace of the mystic --

還有著戰士般的膽量

和神秘家的優雅--

像馬丁路德金

people like Martin Luther King, Jr.,

他曾寫過，“在你沒成爲

who wrote, "I can never be what I ought to be

你該成爲的人之前，

我也無法成爲

until you are what you ought to be."

我該成爲的人。“

"This," he wrote, "is the interrelated structure of reality."

他寫道，”這就是

有著交錯盤結結構的現實。“

Then Mother Teresa, another mystic warrior, who said,

泰瑞沙修女，另一個神秘的戰士

她說，“這世界的問題

"The problem with the world is that we draw the circle of our family

皆起因于我們把家庭的範圍

too small."

定義得太小。”

And Nelson Mandela, who lives by the African concept of "ubuntu,"

曼德拉

他按照一種非洲的觀念在生活

“烏班圖（ubuntu）”

which means "I need you in order to be me,

意思是沒有了你

我就無法成爲我，

and you need me in order to be you."

而你也需要我，來成就你自己。

Now, we all love to trot out these three mystic warriors

我們都很喜歡誇讚

這三個神秘的戰士

他們好像與生俱來

as if they were born with a "saint" gene.

都有聖人的基因。

But we all actually have the same capacity that they do.

但事實上我們也都有能力

做他們做的事，

And we need to do their work now.

而現在我們也應該

做他們做的事。

I'm deeply disturbed

但是我對最近的情勢發展深感憂慮

by the ways in which all of our cultures are demonizing "the other,"

在各個不同的文化間

藉著批判來凸顯

by the voice we're giving to the most divisive among us.

我們互相間差異最多的地方

和將對方惡魔化。

Listen to these titles of some of the best-selling books

看看最近這些暢銷書的標題

在政黨對立下的美國

from both sides of the political divide

代表對立兩方的立場

here in the US:

暢銷書的標題：

"Liberalism is a Mental Disorder,"

“自由主義是精神障礙”

"Rush Limbaugh is a Big Fat Idiot,"

“Rush Limbaugh 是個大肥白痴”

"Pinheads and Patriots,"

“笨蛋和愛國者”

"Arguing with Idiots."

“和白痴講道理”

They're supposedly tongue-in-cheek,

他們是為了達到幽默和諷刺的效果

but they're actually dangerous.

但這是有危險性的。

Now here's a title that may sound familiar,

這跟下面的這本書的標題聼起來很類似

but whose author may surprise you:

但是知道作者的話你們會大吃一驚：

"Four and a Half Years of Struggle Against Lies,

“四年半的

對抗謊言、愚昧

Stupidity and Cowardice."

及對抗懦弱的抗爭。”

Who wrote that?

這是誰寫的？

That was Adolf Hitler's first title for "Mein Kampf" -- "My Struggle" --

這是希特勒寫的

“Mein Kamp(我的奮鬥)”的原先標題

the book that launched the Nazi Party.

就是這本書策動了納粹黨。

The worst eras in human history,

人類最黑暗的歷史時期裏

whether in Cambodia or Germany or Rwanda --

不管在柬埔寨、德國

或是盧安達

they start like this, with negative otherizing.

都是從負面地分化你我開始

接著演化到

And then they morph into violent extremism.

暴力的極端主義。

This is why I'm launching a new initiative.

這也就是爲什麽我要發起一個新的提議

And it's to help all of us, myself included,

來幫助大家

包括我自己

to counteract the tendency to otherize.

來跟這種負面的分化

相互抗衡。

And I realize we're all busy people,

我也了解大家都很忙

so don't worry, you can do this on a lunch break.

所以，別擔心，這是午餐休息時間内就可以做的。

I'm calling my initiative "Take the Other to Lunch."

我把這個新的提議叫做

“請對手一同吃午餐”

If you are a Republican,

如果你是

共和黨員

你可以請一個民主黨員吃午餐

you can take a Democrat to lunch.

Or if you're a Democrat,

或者，你是民主黨員

think of it as taking a Republican to lunch.

你可以考慮

請個共和黨員吃午餐。

Now, if the idea of taking any of these people to lunch

要是請以上這些人吃午餐的想法

makes you lose your appetite,

讓你胃口盡失

(Laughter)

I suggest you start more local,

我建議你可以從身邊做起

because there is no shortage of the other right in your own neighborhood:

因爲我們永遠有很多“對手”

就在你的左右。

maybe that person who worships at the mosque

這個人

可能是去清真寺禮拜的回教徒；

or the church or the synagogue down the street;

或是猶太教徒；

or someone from the other side of the abortion conflict;

或是在墮胎合法化上

跟你持不同立場的人；

or maybe your brother-in-law who doesn't believe in global warming --

也可能是你的那個

不相信全球暖化的小舅子；

(Laughter)

anyone whose lifestyle may frighten you

或者生活方式讓你害怕的人；

or whose point of view makes smoke come out of your ears.

或是那個論調會讓你

氣得七竅生煙的人；

A couple of weeks ago,

幾個星期前

I took a conservative Tea Party woman to lunch.

我請一個茶葉黨的女士去吃午餐

Now, on paper, she passed my "smoking ears" test:

看看報紙上她的言論，是夠讓我七竅生煙的。

(Laughter)

she's an activist from the Right,

她是右派的活躍分子

and I'm an activist from the Left.

我是左派的活躍分子

We used some guidelines to keep our conversation elevated.

我們約定了一些原則

使我們的談話能愉快地進行

你們也可以套用這些原則，

And you can use them, too,

because I know you're all going to take an other to lunch.

因爲我知道

你們也都會跟“對手”去吃午餐。

So first of all, decide on a goal:

首先，決定一個目標：

to get to know one person from a group you may have negatively stereotyped.

你要去認識一個

刻板印象十分負面的團體裏面的一個人。

And then, before you get together,

再來，見面以前

agree on some ground rules.

先講好一些規則。

My Tea Party lunch mate and I came up with these:

我跟那個茶葉黨女士

是這麽約定的：

不去說服、答辯

"Don't persuade, defend or interrupt;

或打斷對方。

be curious, be conversational, be real;

要對對方有好奇心

要維持會話的進行，還要真誠

and listen."

還有注意傾聽。

我們從這幾個點切入。

From there, we dove in, and we used these questions:

我們問了這樣的問題：

"Share some of your life experiences with me --

請跟我分享你的一些經驗。

what issues deeply concern you?

有什麽議題

讓你十分牽挂？

And what have you always wanted to ask someone from the other side?"

有什麽問題是你一直想問

對方陣營的嗎？

My lunch partner and I came away with some really important insights,

吃完午餐後，

我的午餐伴和我得到了一些啓示

我現在要來跟你們分享。

and I'm going to share just one with you.

I think it has relevance to any problem between people anywhere.

因爲我覺得這跟世上

任何人、任何問題

都有關。

I asked her why her side makes such outrageous allegations and lies

我問她，為什麽她的陣營

捏造出這些不實的指控和謊言

加諸在我們這邊。

about my side.

"What?" she wanted to know.

“譬如說呢？”她想知道。

"Like, we're a bunch of elitist, morally corrupt terrorist-lovers."

“像，我們是一票

道德淪喪，又喜歡恐怖分子的

精英分子。”

Well, she was shocked.

她十分的震驚

She thought my side beat up on her side way more often --

她以爲我們更常

放話攻擊他們，

像，我們說他們沒大腦

that we called them brainless, gun-toting racists.

是崇拜槍支的種族主義者。

And we both marveled at the labels

我們兩邊都很吃驚

因爲這些標簽

that fit none of the people we actually know.

跟我們認識的對方

完全不符合。

And since we had established some trust,

因爲我們互相建立起了一些信任

we believed in each other's sincerity.

我們相信對方的誠意。

We agreed we'd speak up in our own communities

我們同意下一次

when we witnessed the kind of "otherizing" talk

在自己的陣營裏聽到

這種分化人們的言論時

that can wound and fester into paranoia

要出言制止

因爲這類的言論會傷人

製造偏執，而進而被偏激分子

and then be used by those on the fringes

to incite.

用來煽動人群。

在午餐結束的時候

By the end of our lunch, we acknowledged each other's openness.

我們互相肯定了對方開誠佈公的態度

Neither of us had tried to change the other,

我們沒有試著要去改變對方。

but we also hadn't pretended

我們也沒有假裝說

that our differences were just going to melt away

吃一頓午餐後，我們之間的差異

after a lunch.

就可以煙消雲散。

Instead, we had taken first steps together,

我們各往前邁了一部

放下了以前立即反擊的

反射性保衛

past our knee-jerk reactions

來到烏班圖（ubuntu）的境界

to the ubuntu place,

which is the only place

這也是唯一一個

互動良好

where solutions to our most intractable-seeming problems

能夠找到解決問題的方法

的地方。

will be found.

那麽，你該邀誰來午餐？

So who should you invite to lunch?

Next time you catch yourself in the act of otherizing,

下一囘你發現自己

把他人當作非我族類時

that'll be your clue.

這就是個很好的指標。

And what might happen at your lunch?

所以，你吃完這頓午餐後有什麽會改變？

Will the heavens open

天堂的門會大開

and "We are the World" play over the restaurant sound system?

餐廳的音響還會同時播放“四海一家”嗎？

Probably not.

大概不會。

Because ubuntu work is slow, and it's difficult.

因爲要達到烏班圖的過程是漫長的

也是十分困難的。

It's two people dropping the pretense of being know-it-alls.

這需要兩個人

同時放下

“我什麽都知道”的成見。

It's two people, two warriors, dropping their weapons

這需要兩個人

兩個戰士

放下他們的武器

and reaching toward each other.

同時向對方邁出一步。

Here's how the great Persian poet Rumi put it:

偉大的波斯詩人盧米曾這麽寫過：

“放下這些

"Out beyond ideas of wrong-doing and right-doing,

誰對誰錯的成見，

there is a field.

在這之外，有一個地方

I'll meet you there."

讓我們在那裏相見吧。”

（掌聲）

(Applause)