The power of diversity within yourself | Rebeca Hwang

Prevodilac: Katarina Čolić Lektor: Ivana Korom

We're holding hands,

Držimo se za ruke

staring at the door.

i gledamo u vrata.

My siblings and I were waiting for my mother to come back

Moja braća i sestre i ja smo čekali majku da se vrati

from the hospital.

iz bolnice.

She was there because my grandmother had cancer surgery that day.

Bila je tamo jer je moja baka operisala tumor tog dana.

Finally, the doors opened,

Konačno, vrata su se otvorila,

and she said,

a ona je rekla:

"She's gone.

„Nema je više.

She's gone."

Nema je više.”

She started sobbing and immediately said,

Počela je da jeca i odmah rekla:

"We must make arrangements.

„Moramo da se pobrinemo za sve.

Your grandmother's dying wish was to be buried back home in Korea."

Poslednja želja vaše bake bila je da je sahranimo kod kuće u Koreji.”

I was barely 12 years old, and when the shock wore off,

Bilo mi je tek oko 12 godina, i kada je prvi šok prošao,

my mother's words were ringing in my ears.

reči moje majke su mi odzvanjale u ušima.

My grandmother wanted to be buried back home.

Moja baka je želela da je sahranimo kod kuće.

We had moved from Korea to Argentina six years prior,

Preselili smo se iz Koreje u Argentinu šest godina pre toga,

without knowing any Spanish, or how we were going to make a living.

bez ikakvog znanja španskog jezika ili ideje kako da zaradimo za život.

And upon arrival, we were immigrants who had lost everything,

Kada smo stigli, bili smo imigranti koji su izgubili sve,

so we had to work really hard to rebuild our lives.

pa smo morali da radimo veoma naporno kako bismo ponovo izgradili živote.

So it hadn't occurred to me that after all these years,

I nije mi palo na pamet da je nakon svih tih godina

back home was still in Korea.

dom i dalje Koreja.

It made me ponder where I would want to be buried someday,

Navelo me da razmišljam o tome gde bih ja volela da me sahrane,

where home was for me,

gde je meni dom,

and the answer was not obvious.

a odgovor nije bio očigledan.

And this really bothered me.

I to me je stvarno mučilo.

So this episode launched a lifelong quest for my identity.

Time je ovaj događaj pokrenuo doživotnu potragu za mojim identitetom.

I was born in Korea -- the land of kimchi;

Rođena sam u Koreji - zemlji kimčija;

raised in Argentina,

odrasla sam u Argentini,

where I ate so much steak that I'm probably 80 percent cow by now;

gde sam jela toliko mesa da sam do sada verovatno 80% krava;

and I was educated in the US,

a školovala sam se u SAD-u,

where I became addicted to peanut butter.

gde sam se navukla na puter od kikirikija.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

During my childhood, I felt very much Argentinian,

Tokom odrastanja sam se uvek osećala kao Argentinka

but my looks betrayed me at times.

ali bi me izgled ponekad odao.

I remember on the first day of middle school,

Sećam se da je na prvom času u osnovnoj školi

my Spanish literature teacher came into the room.

moja nastavnica španskog ušla u učionicu.

She scanned all of my classmates,

Pogledom je preletela sve moje vršnjake

and she said,

i rekla:

"You -- you have to get a tutor,

„Ti - moraćeš da nađeš tutora,

otherwise, you won't pass this class."

u suprotnom nećeš položiti razred.”

But by then I was fluent in Spanish already,

Međutim, ja sam već znala dobro da govorim španski,

so it felt as though I could be either Korean or Argentinian,

tako da sam mogla da budem ili Korejka ili Argentinka,

but not both.

ali ne oba.

It felt like a zero-sum game,

Bilo je poput situacije nulte sume,

where I had to give up my old identity

gde sam mogla ili da se odreknem svog starog identiteta

to be able to gain or earn a new one.

kako bih mogla da dobijem ili zaslužim novi.

So when I was 18, I decided to go to Korea,

Stoga sam sa 18 godina odlučila da odem u Koreju,

hoping that finally I could find a place to call home.

u nadi da ću konačno pronaći mesto koje mogu da nazovem domom.

But there people asked me,

Ali su me tamo ljudi upitali:

"Why do you speak Korean with a Spanish accent?"

„Zašto govoriš korejski sa španskim akcentom?”

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

And, "You must be Japanese because of your big eyes

Kao i: „Mora da si iz Japana jer imaš te krupne oči

and your foreign body language."

i govor tela stranca.”

And so it turns out that I was too Korean to be Argentinian,

I tako se ispostavilo da sam bila previše Korejka da bih bila Argentinka,

but too Argentinian to be Korean.

ali previše Argentinka da bih bila Korejka.

And this was a pivotal realization to me.

I ovo je bilo pravo otkriće za mene.

I had failed to find that place in the world to call home.

Nisam uspela da nađem mesto na svetu koje mogu da nazovem domom.

But how many Japanese-looking Koreans who speak with a Spanish accent --

Ali koliko ima Korejaca sa španskim akcentom koji liče na Japance -

or even more specific, Argentinian accent --

ili preciznije, argentinskim akcentom -

do you think are out there?

šta mislite?

Perhaps this could be an advantage.

Možda je to prednost.

It was easy for me to stand out,

Bilo mi je lako da se istaknem,

which couldn't hurt in a world that was rapidly changing,

što nije na odmet u svetu koji se brzo menja

where skills could become obsolete overnight.

i gde veštine zastarevaju preko noći.

So I stopped looking for that 100 percent commonality

Stoga sam prestala da tražim tu kompletnu istovetnost

with the people that I met.

sa ljudima koje srećem.

Instead, I realized that oftentimes, I was the only overlap

Umesto toga sam shvatila da se često jedino ja preklapam

between groups of people that were usually in conflict with each other.

između grupa ljudi koji su često u sukobu jedni sa drugima.

So with this realization in mind,

I kada sam to shvatila,

I decided to embrace all of the different versions of myself --

odlučila sam da prihvatim sve različite verzije sebe -

even allow myself to reinvent myself at times.

čak dozvolim povremeno da „prepravim samu sebe”.

So for example, in high school,

Na primer, u srednjoj školi sam,

I have to confess I was a mega-nerd.

moram da priznam, bila mega-štreber.

I had no sense of fashion -- thick glasses, simple hairstyle --

Nikakav osećaj za modu - debele naočare, jednostavna frizura -

you can get the idea.

možete da zamislite.

I think, actually, I only had friends because I shared my homework.

Mislim da sam imala prijatelje samo zato što sam im davala svoj domaći.

That's the truth.

Istina je.

But once at university,

Međutim, kada sam došla da studiram,

I was able to find a new identity for myself,

pronašla sam svoj novi identitet,

and the nerd became a popular girl.

i štreberka je postala popularna devojka.

But it was MIT,

To je bio MIT,

so I don't know if I can take too much credit for that.

pa ne znam da li mogu da preuzmem previše zasluga za to.

As they say over there,

Kako to oni tamo kažu:

"The odds are good,

„Izgledi su dobri

but the goods are odd."

ali dobra izgledaju čudno.”

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

I switched majors so many times that my advisors joked

Toliko puta sam promenila glavni predmet da su se moji mentori šalili

that I should get a degree in "random studies."

kako treba da diplomiram „nasumične studije”.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

I told this to my kids.

Ispričala sam to deci.

And then over the years, I have gained a lot of different identities.

I tokom godina sam stekla mnogo različitih identiteta.

I started as an inventor, entrepreneur, social innovator.

Započela sam kao pronalazač, preduzetnik, društveni inovator.

Then I became an investor,

Zatim sam postala investitor,

a woman in tech,

žena u svetu tehnologije,

a teacher.

učitelj.

And most recently, I became a mom,

I konačno, postala sam majka

or as my toddler says repeatedly,

ili kako to moje dete ponavlja:

"Mom!" day and night.

„Mama!” dan i noć.

Even my accent was so confused --

Čak se i moj akcenat zbunio -

its origin was so obscure,

njegovo poreklo bilo je toliko nejasno

that my friends called it, "Rebecanese."

da su ga moji prijatelji nazivali „rebekanski”.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

But reinventing yourself can be very hard.

Međutim, „prepravljanje sebe” može biti veoma naporno.

You can face a lot of resistance at times.

Osećate mnogo otpora povremeno.

When I was nearly done with my PhD,

Kada sam bila blizu doktoriranja

I got bitten by that entrepreneurial bug.

„zarazilo” me je preduzetništvo.

I was in Silicon Valley,

Bilo je to u Silicijumskoj dolini,

and so writing a thesis in the basement didn't seem as interesting

kada pisanje teze u podrumu nije bilo tako zanimljivo

as starting my own company.

poput osnivanja sopstvene kompanije.

So I went to my very traditional Korean parents,

Stoga sam otišla pred svoje korejske roditelje vrlo tradicionalnog morala

who are here today,

koji su sa nama danas,

with the task of letting them know

sa namerom da ih obavestim

that I was going to drop out from my PhD program.

da ću odustati od doktorskih studija.

You see, my siblings and I are the first generation to go to university,

Vidite, moja braća i sestre i ja smo prva generacija koja je studirala,

so for a family of immigrants, this was kind of a big deal.

pa je za porodicu imigranata to bilo prilično bitno.

You can imagine how this conversation was going to go.

Možete da zamislite kako se razgovor odvijao.

But fortunately, I had a secret weapon with me,

Srećom, imala sam keca u rukavu,

which was a chart that had the average income of all of the graduates

a to je bio grafički prikaz prosečnih primanja svih diplomaca

from Stanford PhD programs,

doktorskih studija sa Stanforda,

and then the average income of all the dropouts

kao i prosečnih primanja svih studenata koji su napustili studije

from Stanford graduate programs.

na Stanfordu.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

I must tell you -- this chart was definitely skewed

Moram da vam kažem, ovaj grafik su osnivači „Google”-a

by the founders of Google.

definitivno okrenuli u svoju korist.

(Laughter)

But my mom looked at the chart,

(Smeh)

Moja majka je pogledala grafik

and she said,

i rekla:

"Oh, for you -- follow your passion."

„O, što se tebe tiče - prati svoju strast.”

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

Hi, Mom.

Ćao, mama.

Now, today my identity quest is no longer to find my tribe.

Danas moja potraga za identitetom više nije da pronađem svoje pleme.

It's more about allowing myself

Više se radi o tome da dozvolim sebi

to embrace all of the possible permutations of myself

da prihvatim sve moguće permutacije sebe

and cultivating diversity within me

i kultivišem raznolikost u sebi,

and not just around me.

a ne samo oko sebe.

My boys now are three years and five months old today,

Moji dečaci sada imaju 3 godine i 5 meseci,

and they were already born with three nationalities

a već su rođeni sa 3 različite nacionalnosti

and four languages.

i 4 jezika.

I should mention now that my husband is actually from Denmark --

Trebalo bi da vam napomenem da je moj muž zapravo iz Danske -

just in case I don't have enough culture shocks in my life,

za slučaj da nema dovoljno kulturnih šokova u mom životu,

I decided to marry a Danish guy.

odlučila sam da se udam za Danca.

In fact, I think my kids will be the first Vikings

Zapravo mislim da će moja deca biti prvi Vikinzi

who will have a hard time growing a beard when they become older.

kojima će biti teško da puste bradu kada odrastu.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

Yeah, we'll have to work on that.

Da, moraćemo da poradimo na tome.

But I really hope that they will find that their multiplicity

Ali se zaista nadam da će im njihova raznovrsnost

is going to open and create a lot of doors for them in their lives,

otvoriti mnoga vrata u životu

and that they can use this as a way to find commonality

i da će je iskoristiti kao način da pronađu zajednički jezik

in a world that's increasingly global today.

sa svetom koji postaje sve više globalan.

I hope that instead of feeling anxious and worried

Nadam se da će umesto anksioznosti i zabrinutosti

that they don't fit in that one box

da ne pripadaju tim okvirima

or that their identity will become irrelevant someday,

ili da će njihov identitet postati nebitan jednog dana,

that they can feel free to experiment

osećati slobodu da eksperimentišu

and to take control of their personal narrative and identity.

i preuzmu kontrolu nad sopstvenim nasleđem i identitetom.

I also hope that they will use their unique combination

Takođe se nadam da će iskoristiti ovu jedinstvenu kombinaciju

of values and languages and cultures and skills

vrednosti i jezika i kulture i veština

to help create a world

kako bi stvorili svet

where identities are no longer used to alienate what looks different,

gde se identitet ne koristi sa namerom otuđenja svega različitog,

but rather, to bring together people.

već da ujedini ljude.

And most importantly, I really hope that they find tremendous joy

I najvažnije, zaista se nadam da će pronaći neizmernu radost

in going through these uncharted territories,

tumaranjem kroz ove nepoznate teritorije

because I know I have.

jer znam da ja jesam.

Now, as for my grandmother,

Što se moje bake tiče,

her last wish was also her last lesson to me.

njena poslednja želja takođe je bila njena poslednja lekcija meni.

It turns out that it was never about going back to Korea

Zapravo se nikada nije radilo o povratku u Koreju

and being buried there.

i sahranjivanju tamo.

It was about resting next to her son,

Radilo se o tome da bude pored svog sina

who had died long before she moved to Argentina.

koji je preminuo mnogo pre njenog dolaska u Argentinu.

What mattered to her was not the ocean

Nije joj bio važan okean

that divided her past and new world;

koji razdvaja njen prošli i novi svet;

it was about finding common ground.

važno je bilo pronaći zajedničko tle.

Thank you.

Hvala vam.

(Applause)

(Aplauz)